I mean really, just two? What kind of lazy, entitled, handout seeking “servant” can serve only a couple of masters?? Work harder, you should serve as many as you possibly can, sinner!

If you’re stuck serving 2 or fewer masters, don’t worry, you can take baby steps towards serving more by starting off with 3 instead! I’ve found that serving the following three are an excellent way to guide good, faithful Christians to sound discernment of the Will Of The Father.

1. The Lord Jesus Christ, MY Savior and Lord who DIED for MY sins so I may believe and live forever.

2. Money, literally makes the Earth rotate. You cannot find a more powerful master than this.

3. The flag of the greatest country there was, is, or ever will be, the only nation bold enough to declare itself one nation under GOD. 🇺🇸

God bless you all, my brothers and sisters.

Or does this bar have a late night trading licence?

Do we have the signs of the apocalypse?

We already have wars, and rumors of wars, many have come falsely on the name of Christ, nation against nation, thecnically 2 times, what is going on with this world?

Oh, it's just humans!

I mean, I don't want to make one, because that sounds like work, but I'd appreciate it if someone else did

I've got an idea for a killer app linking buyers of benefices to sellers, something to bring the whole trade into the 21st century. I'm having trouble finding sales data on Bloomberg, though; I get the impression it's more of an old-boys' network. Does anybody have connections in the biz who can help me get the lay of the land? There could be some options in it for you.

Because he didn't come of his own Accord.

I never said Kamambla or crazy Kamala - who knows if "glansa" means crazy or something? Laughing maybe... For a while i thought i thought was reading judgment upon sodomites, but then I understood that I was saying "vote Kamala, save Obergefell, overturn Dobbs, impeach Thomas!" How do I become unposessed?

Zip it.

"Winds are nature's farts"

What do you think about it, sound divinely inspired enough?

But we all know Jesus was an Englishman

How could this be allowed to happen! Do the elders know about this?!

I know the game isn't Satanic, or anything, but it's still supporting all of WotC's shady business practices

I was praying all day, everywhere and everything I was doing, but when I was finished I didn't say AMEN, just 'that's all' or something. Will my prayer go to waste?

Can a Christian play Overwatch? Can a Christian read Clan of the Cave Bear? Can a Christian listen to the radio? Can a Christian use the expensive toilet paper? The answer to all of these is NO. If you try, the Holy Spirit will stretch forth its arm and block you, and you will fall to the floor in a swoon, and maybe wake up speaking in tongues for an hour or so.

All I'm missing is a small portable lightweight AI that can detect when a sin is about to happen. The rest of the device is already finished: it is a tiny laser projector that - when activated - displays a hand writing on the wall.

**MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSIN**

**MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSIN**

**MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSIN**

Maybe we can start by only detecting masturbation. That would get rid of 90% of the sin in the mothersub in one swoop.

Personally I always thank the lord for the joy that we are about to partake in.

/uh I apologize in advance to the people who find this weird shit in my post history without context

I know one of the commandments is about telling internet strangers your sexual habits. But if we break it accidentally, is this still a sin?