I went to one of my coworkers house the other day she is in her mid 50's and I'm in my early 20's. I just went to grab a tool she had and when I got there she opened the door and her face was completely red and she was talking really quietly and seemed like she was out of breath I thought it was weird because l've never seen her like that before. Then first thing she says is she wants to show me her room and when we go there she started just being quiet when we got there I wasn't expecting it. I was so confused was she trying to get me to make a move on her or was she just trying to be friendly?

I’m a 20 yo male and living w my parents and despite going through a long period of deep anxiety and depression, I’ve gotten pretty good looking and have improved myself a lot all around. Anyways, I’ve gotten to the point where I can pull hoes now somewhat. I’ve pulled some pretty good looking girls recently but my predicament is I have no place to smash. I’ve hit a few times in my car but I don’t like it as much and I image the female doesn’t either. My place is kinda a no go bc my mom and step dad are home often and my 33 yo sister and my niece live at the house so it’s a little bit of an awkward living situation but I do have my own room and I’ve gotten it decent. Another thing I’ve considered is booking a hotel room but idk how a female my age would feel abt that. Ik yall will say if you don’t have your own place or aren’t financially stable I shouldn’t be worrying abt females but I want to take advantage of finally being normal and being confident good looking dude and I feel like I can pull almost any girl I want. I would appreciate any feedback or advice and I appreciate you taking the time to read this hope all is well

Community college

Work full time

Sport 3 times per week

Shave / laser on ur dick

Get a fun hobby to enjoy life like dnd or a card game.

This stuff will keep u busy and attract a girl to you.

So sometimes i do be sexting match from Hinge. Sometimes they lead to actual one night stand but mostly we dont even meet. So we text and say hot stuff to each other, but like I dont know if I should ask them literally to come over (which I have done in the past and worked) or to still go for a drink and so on. Like is it even smart to sext your hinge date or is even conterproducing to get laid.

I always go on dates and can make girls warm up to me. I do some banter, I let them talk and so on. always try to touch early, like the shoulder, hand, tap on the leg and so on, nothing crazy. I think I need to touch someone in order to be attracted to them or to get their vibe. Sometimes that energy is returned, then others i see they are shy and do go for it all, yet they be laughing and asking me question. I think I get mix signals I suppose. I want to connect through touch but if they dont share the same touchy flirt attitude I dont know if its worthy to even keep trying.

Throughout undergrad, I weighed around 200 pounds, and my success with women was great. I rarely got ghosted and usually managed to at least make out with half of the girls I dated, sleep with roughly a third of them.

I’m 27 now and weigh about 220 pounds. My luck with women has plummeted . I’m lucky if I even get a text back after a first date. I’ve tried to compare my current approach with what I did during undergrad. Aside from having a big boy job now, the only major change I can think of is my weight. For context, I still date within the same age range: 20-30.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Do you think losing 15-20 pounds might help me get back to my old self? In my mind, I don’t see how losing weight will change a lot. I do see weight loss success stories here but those are usually with people losing 50+ pound

As an avid gym-goer, the only thing holding me back is knowing that if I lose weight, my gym gains might suffer… I’m willing to risk it tho..

…do you include the entire group in the approach? Usually out of friendliness when I approach a woman within a group, I’ll ask the entire group a question about how they’re doing, or what brings them out, and more often than not, the girl I wanted to talk to in the group ends up not conversating after the second or third exchange and I’m left talking to the fattie of the group.

Should I change my approach and focus on on the one I want from the beginning? Rather than including the whole group?

I have been studying game for years and just got out of a long term relationship so I am looking for people to sarge with. let me know if you’re in the area and want to meet up!

Ask 5 girls for the time

A bit of a slow start.. didn’t know asking for the time to random women could be difficult, but anyways I accomplished it on to day 5

My mentor suggests what he called "life story game", which is just getting a girl to talk about herself describing her life spanning from childhood to the present day. Problem is that my social skills were severely stunted as a child, so I'm currently learning this from scratch. What kinds of questions and what topics should I ask about to get the girl talking and make it enjoyable for her?

Hey guys,

Any good recs for comprehenize guildes or books on game that are NOT Neil Strauss's book?

As a broad concept, how do you manage a long term talking stage for online dating? Say if a girl is away for travel/work for weeks or months and you want to maintain the conversation until she gets back and prevent flaking?

Do you text her frequently?

Do you get into rapport topics?

I never have talking stages because I generally ask out girls very quickly after matching online, so this is quite foreign to me.

_

(Context: Matched with a girl on hinge, she left for Europe immediately for 6 weeks, and I’m trying to keep this alive. I’m also dating other girls so this isn’t a oneitis situation)

So out of maybe 20-30 women I intend to approach, I succeed in approaching only 1. I thought I was far more confident. But, something is holding me back all the time. Idk if its because I am thinking about something else or I am scared of people who know me see me do this? For context I am a grad student at a college. Also one more reason I fear a bit is that I am a immigrant Indian. So i am wondering what are some simple steps I can do to increase my confidence? I also completely avoid setups where there are many people around or someone is behind me. Should I approach from back or front? What consistently and goals i should keep? Thank you. I really want to do this. But, I am hitting a blocker. So please enlighten me about how to go about it. Sorry if its a very basic question.

I'm getting an apartment in downtown Toronto soon, what are some things you look out for in an apartments when it comes to maximizing your chance of getting laid? Can be location, apartment layout, details within an apartment, or anything. If anyone has any specific recs for Toronto feel free to drop them too.

im in durham but im mobile, familiar with raleigh but not so much chapel hill. Dk what cary and surrounding really has to offer nightlife wise

who's up for some gaming????

Age: 30+

Wondering how things would be different if I was not in London and instead in the states, as it’s a big place let’s assume the west coast.

I'm 20 years old, and I’ve always considered myself pretty good with women. I’ve been in two long-term relationships with attractive girls and have had almost 30 other sexual encounters. I’m 5’11”, about 180 lbs, and in better shape than average. I’d say I’m an attractive guy. Recently, I’ve noticed some things that have confused me. Most of my hookups have come from social media or dating apps, and I find it easy to close the deal when hanging out one-on-one. Usually, I’ll invite a girl over, we chat for a bit, and it leads to sex. Other times, I’ll take them out for a short date, and that often ends the same way. Sometimes, they’ll invite me over to hang out, and it also tends to end in sex after chatting and watching a movie. However, I’ve noticed that when I’m at bars or in more open social settings, I’m a bit more reserved. I’ll talk to girls, but I don’t feel as assertive as I do in one-on-one situations. I’ve noticed this because some of my friends are more confident in those settings, and they’ll make out with girls or even take them home from the bar. For context, I’m in sales and didn’t go to college, but most of the girls I’ve been with are in college, and some are highly intelligent. I still find myself in college-related social circles often. I’m a social guy, so I think I might be overthinking things when I’m in public, especially when I think I have a good chance with a girl.

So, I’m tryna find my wife right? I go to the gym, I take good pictures, and I have a decent backlog of likes to go through on hinge and whatnot. Problem is? I’m dead broke 😭. I’m in grad school and literally had $1.47 in my account yesterday. Last date I want on I blew $200 and my date still made me feel poor, I can’t keep that shit up man. Like even if a woman has really bare minimum standards of finances, I can’t see myself having like… any spare money to spend until I’m a doctor in ten years.

Had some lady ASK ME OUT last night, she was like “dw we can split the Uber to the bar, shots are a dollar :)”. I had to ghost her cause I don’t have $30 😭 it’s a special type of agony. Don’t even see how it’s possible to date in this stage of life as a man and a student. I’ve had to give up on dates constantly just I’m a student and don’t have spare time to work :(. Damn

Trying to figure out what’s a good dance for me to learn. Or even how to figure that out besides just doing a bunch of free first lessons.

Doesn’t matter for nightclubs I guess since that’s about letting loose instead of showing off.

Been feeling either salsa or swing. Curious if y’all have any other suggestions and if so why.

Yesterday I took this girl I have been flirting with for a while when I saw her around (we frequent the same places) even tho she has a boyfriend in her home country but I saw her already cheating on him and I heard multiple stories so I didn’t make it a problem for me. Once I took her home I removed her bra and we made out for quite some time.

She also gave me sloppy toppy but here’s the problem, first of all she didn’t finish the job and that was disappointing by itself lol

Second she didn’t want to fuck (girl logic: if I fuck him is cheating if I suck his dick it’s not, like what?!?!)

Now in this particular case I understand the reasoning behind not wanting to have sex, and that was real resistance she wasn’t trying to make me work for it like other chicks might have done.

What concerns me tho is that it’s not the first time this happened, that everything was going good with a girl, this time without a boyfriend even, until we reached the bedroom and she doesn’t want or to put it in but she’s still willing to do everything else.

If any of you had a similar experience how did you handle it and also do you have any idea why girls do this?

Hey, so I’m pretty new to the whole dating and seduction game. I’ve been on Hinge for about two weeks and have gotten around 100 matches, mostly 7s and 8s out of 10s. I consider myself a good-looking guy with a lot going for me, but I’ve run into an issue.

I’ve been on two dates so far, and I know for sure the attraction is there—I’m definitely not a catfish. But both times, things didn’t progress the way I hoped. One girl ghosted me completely, and the other just didn’t seem as interested after the date.

I feel like maybe I’m overthinking things, and I’m aware that I sometimes lack that spark of confidence or sex appeal that keeps the interest alive. I often find myself in my head, second-guessing everything and coming off as a bit neurotic, which I think is killing my chances.

How can I move beyond just physical attraction and create a deeper connection? I’m looking for advice on how to build that natural attraction and show more of what I’m about without coming off awkward or insecure. Any tips for someone new to the dating game who tends to get nervous would be really appreciated. Thanks!

Hi, I'm back. I had sex guys. So this is my first lay through cold approach, and my third lay this year, and the 6th woman I've ever had sex with. I met her in a bar last week and got her number. The biggest thing I feel was super important during the approach was heavy eye contact. I had gone out that night intending to focus on heavy eye contact with girls cuz I had not focused on it before and it worked. I made heavy eye contact with 2 other girls that night and had good convos with them but they didn't work out. My vehicle got towed that night, and I met this girl literally 5 minutes after getting towed, I didn't let the stress of getting towed get to me. I met her while I was waiting for me friend to come pick me up. I remember she looked at me and told me to come over here and we get to talking and I'm being really touchy with her cuz I can tell right away that she's really attracted to me. In fact she told me tonight that I was too handsy when we met cuz my hands were running along the back of her dress and along her thighs, but hey she still came out and fucked me. I remember our conversation when we met consisted of me asking her what was the best sex she's ever had and she said she doesn't talk about that with strangers. Then I started talking about the best sex I ever had with my ex gf. And she told me that she fucks both men and women with a strap on. So I said oh you freaky like Diddy. And then I said something along the lines of I know you like to be submissive to and she said no and I said I know you do or something I don't remember exactly and then she admitted that she does like being submissive and she said she's a switch. I don't remember much else she was talking to her friends and I tried to get her to go to the bathroom with me for bathroom sex. Oh yeah I remember she said she has a boyfriend and I said how long have you been dating and she said a month and I said well have you had the exclusivity talk yet? And she said no, which was a lie btw because she revealed to me tonight that she is supposed to be exclusive with him but she hates him cuz she said he's some big weird fat dude. And I remember she was like so what are we gonna do tonight so it was like damn if I had my vehicle with me I'd already be taking her out of this bar and getting a hotel right now. Which is why I tried to get her to go to the bar bathroom with me but she didn't want to. So anyway then my friend came and picked me up and drove me home since I was without a vehicle and I told my friend how she's so into me and if only I had my vehicle, he was like haha fat chance in hell she didn't seem into you.

I did get my vehicle back that morning at 5am.

So fast forward to yesterday I hit her up and trying to meet up with her, I actually had texted her last week twice but she never responded. She replies and we're planning a meetup and she's busy every day this weekend so finally at this point I'm like well at 2am when the clubs close I can get us a hotel. She's like yeah let's do it. So I went out and did my cold approaches, didn't get any numbers tonight. Then drove to the club she was at and picked her up at 2am met her friends and drove her to the hotel.

So we get to the hotel and she sees me bring in a vibrator and she makes a big deal about it and how we're not going to have sex so I start feeling kinda bad at this point like maybe I'm just a dirty pervert who wants to use women for their bodies. She makes it clear we're not going to have sex so I decide you know what I'm fine with that I'm going to show her what a good guy I am and how I don't need sex and how I respect women. At one point she says you can get into bed with me but don't try anything. So we're in bed for a while both fully clothed and talk a little bit. And god this woman is teasing me she takes her shirt off to reveal her perfect tits and then puts her shirt back on. She takes her pants off and goes over to adjust the AC giving me an amazing view of her ass in that thong. Eventually she's like come cuddle me. So I do and then she criticizes me for cuddling her the wrong way and says do I have to teach you how to cuddle. So then I cuddle her the way she tells me to. With my leg swung her legs in such a way that my dick is pressed up against her ass. I'm getting hard just thinking about cuddling her right now.

Then we're cuddling right and I make small talk ask her what's her favorite drink she says vodka and I say I'm more of a whiskey guy, whiskey on ice. Then I ask her if she's ever had a Tom Collins and she asks me what the fuck is that. SO i explain to her what it is and how I make the best tom collins. THen I asked her if she's ever had a hot toddy, and she said yeah, and then I say I make the best hot toddies and she's like yeah right. So i explain to her the ingredients I use in my own hot toddies at home and she's never heard of them so I'm like see I make the best hot toddies. And then we keep cuddling and then she grabs my hand and puts my hand on her pussy so I know exactly what to do at this point.

I start rubbing her clit and she starts moaning and I'm fingering her pussy and it feels so small and tight it feels so good for both of us I'm breathing on her neck kissing her cheek nibbling her ear while I'm rubbing this sexy woman's clit my dick hard pressing against her ass oh my god and she keeps moaning. And eventually she rolls over and so I takemy pants off and put some coconut oil on my dick and put a condom on and fuck her missionary style. I'm choking her grabbing her tits, licking her feet. I notice she pushes me back a little bit and I realize she wants me to just rub the head of my dick against her g spot area while I fuck her so I do that and try to hit that upward angle cuz that's the motion and the area that's making her moan the most. She asks for me to get the vibrator so I do, even though she criticized me for bringing a vibrator lol. So I'm fucking her missionary style while she's using the vibrator it's hot she has sexy little legs and I'm licking her feet mid sex and at one point she slaps me across the face and she commands me to cum. So then I slap her back and say no you cum first.

At this point she stops the sex and pushes me off her and says she doesn't like being slapped so I apologized. And I explained to her how my ex girlfriend, who was my first girlfriend of my life, loved it when I slapped her how it would turn her on and I would leave bruises and give her a black eye and she would send me bruise pics and tell me how much the bruise pics turn her on. So when I explained that to her it made a lot more sense to her and she said I'm a really nice guy and that she was enjoying the sex up until that point. She said I didn't do anything wrong and she said she would hang out with me again, just no slapping. Her friend came and picked her up and she left. Noticed the condom had broke and neither of us noticed.

So now I'm at home sipping tea and eating nachos as I write this.
To recap, the biggest lesson learned in cold approach here is how important eye contact is, HEAVY EYE CONTACT> I had never focused on making eye contact with girls before and when I did that's when I got laid. HEAVY EYE CONTACT is SUPER IMPORTANT>

And second lesson learned is don't slap a girl you just met without discussing it beforehand. My ex spoiled me with letting me do whatever I want to her in bed and being my little fuck doll to be used and abused. I have to remember I can't treat every woman like that.

Third lesson I majorly need to get better at teasing, this chick tonight teased me so hard and I have basically zero teasing and flirting skills. She kept teasing me and I wish I was more wittier and could tease her back and be more funny like her. She's really funny actually, funnier than me.

I am a guy.How to ask a friend is she is interested or wanna be in FWB , as i am not into hookups ?

Men love to blame everyone else for their dating struggles. Some things I hear constantly

"The dating culture is too shallow."

"Feminism has ruined relationships."

"Tinder’s algorithm is rigged."

"Women are only interested in rich, tall, or good-looking guys."

I get it. It’s tempting to point fingers and shift blame. But here’s the harsh truth: None of those things are the reason why your dating life is a mess. The problem is you.

Today we’re going to talk about something that's going to hit hard but it's absolutely necessary if you want to improve your dating life: Extreme Ownership

I recently read this book called Extreme Ownership by Navy SEALs, and even though the book is about business leadership, the principles in that book apply directly to your dating life. If you're not getting the results you want, it's time to stop blaming external factors like women, Tinder, or modern dating culture. The truth is, it’s your responsibility to fix it.

Let's talk about what extreme ownership looks like in your dating life.

Tinder Algorithm Not Giving You Matches?

Well, maybe your photos aren’t good enough. Instead of complaining, learn how to take better photos. Hire a photographer or just get off Tinder and learn to meet women in real life (it’s what I did)

There Aren't Enough Women in Your City?

You don’t like the dating pool where you live? Then move. Yes, it’s a big decision, but if your environment is holding you back, it’s your job to change it.

Fear of Approaching Women?

Fear is a natural response, but it’s your responsibility to figure out how to overcome it. Develop warm up strategies, take baby steps and practice consistently. Whatever it is, you own the process of getting past your fear. You cannot blame fear for not being able to deal with it - it's your job.

Another excuse I hear all the time is that women are the problem.

Guys, this needs to stop. Blaming women for your lack of success is not only wrong, it's pathetic.

Women aren’t out there to destroy your world or mess with your head. They are simply not interested in dating the current version of you. That might be tough to hear, but it's also incredibly empowering. Why? Because it means you can change that.

Here’s the bottom line: every guy I’ve met who’s confident, charismatic, and has strong dating social skills - no matter their income, looks or culture -  doesn’t struggle to date. Not for hookups, not for relationships. And those are all qualities you can develop.

So, if your dating life isn’t where you want it to be, ask yourself this: Are you developing those qualities? Are you actively working on becoming more confident, better at flirting, and more socially skilled? If not, it’s time to take action.

If you want real change in your dating life, you need to take extreme ownership. Own everything that’s happening, good or bad, and stop blaming external forces. It can be tough, especially if you’ve spent years blaming others, but it’s the first step to making a real transformation.

And trust me, once you start owning it, everything changes. You’ll start seeing progress, your confidence will skyrocket, and eventually, you’ll get the results you’ve always wanted

If you want extra help on this, check out the resources in my profile.

How to be a good wingman in different situations?

Share your stories and experiences

No diddy

So I’ve gotten to the point where I can approach comfortably and have a good conversation with girls that lead to something more. I am now confident dating and keeping plates, setting up dates, having productive conversations, escalating, etc. I overall have a good sense of game when it’s just her and I.

But what I see myself struggling with a lot, is flirting and having a solid frame when there’s other people around.

In a cold approach at a store for example I could do a well enough job for the close if it’s myself and her and maybe a friend of hers, but there have been countless times where I’ve been with my homies or family and talking to girls around them has never failed to fill me with nerves.

I remember there was one time in Target with a friend. I saw this girl I was on the way to approach when my homie said “this is all you bro” and immediately as I learned he was going to be watching I got hit with a wave of nerves. I still did the approach but I was too nervous during the interaction so I just left her a compliment and went on with the day.

There was another time where this waitress at Applebee’s was bad and if I was alone I’d strike conversation with her, but I was at dinner my mom so the nerves crept up.

I’m of the idea that it’s a mindset thing or maybe even more psychological as my nerves come on only when it’s the people closest to me watching. It feels almost like I don’t want to disappoint them or let them know I enjoy women (old nice guy tendencies creeping in). On a similar note, I parted ways with an old group of friends because, among other issues, we didn’t see eye to eye on things when it came to women and game and it began to piss me off how much we argued over it all, so I definitely hold some shame and insecurity in that area.

Anyways, I’m most comfortable when it’s me and her, and strangers out in public don’t make me nervous but oohwee, I definitely do not enjoy close friends and family watching me interact with women I like. Any similar anecdotes and/or advice?

If you're in good shape, a guy, and you use dating apps, chances are you have either used a shirtless picture on your profile, or thought about it.

This is a much more complicated topic than it first seems. Showing a six pack is good right? ... Well...

Okcupid did a study way back showing that guys with shirtless photos got more messages from women. But only when the women were quite young and when the women were over around 30 years old; they counted it as a negative. The problem with it is that some of these internal studies by Okcupid have failed later replication. Meaning the data cannot be fully trusted. Another issue with the study is that not all men will post shirtless pics. Presumably, only those who are in good shape will do so. That means we're comparing apples to oranges here and what one fit guy should take away from this is unclear.

I did some follow up experiments on Photofeeler, where I would test pics of shirtless guys against their identical photo except for a t-shirt photoshopped on. This isolates the "shirtless" variable and is therefore a more controlled experiment. Turns out the results from these tests generally indicate that the guy seems equally attractive with shirt on or off, but that he scores lower on the "smart" and "trustworthy" categories. I also see that the ratings are more inconsistent with the shirtless pics. Women disagree a lot on them. Some seem to hate them and others are like "hell yeah".

After talking to women about it; two factors seem to come into play. One is her cultural values. If she's sexually conservative she's less likely to appreciate shirtless pics.

The other thing is what she's looking for. Women see a guy with a shirtless pic and will assume he's looking for casual sex only. So that means the shirtless photo generally will lead to less matches. But you may get more of the casual sex-friendly and sexually liberal matches. It's like a filter. You also might exclude some women who are insecure about their own bodies or those who are out of shape themselves. The entire profile also needs to be coherent for best results. Having a shirtless pic and stating you're "looking for something serious" is probably not going to go over well. It seems like you're lying.

There are ways to make a shirtless photo work better. Don't put more than one in your picture stack. Don't have it be a mirror selfie. Be on the beach or do something where it's natural for you to be shirtless. Try to make it seem like you were busy doing an activity rather than posing for the camera.

Last time I used a shirtless pic it lead to poor results. I have some new shots now and, they score mixed but some women seem really excited about them and rate them "very attractive" so I'll see how it goes.

The take-away? Be careful how you go about using a shirtless photo. You will eliminate some women by using it. You'll probably get fewer matches. The question is if that's worth it for what you're looking for, and being possibly slightly more appealing to a target audience that you prefer. It's one of those things that women don't agree on. It's controversial. If you want to experiment, have fun! If you want to play it safe and maximize the number of matches, or you're looking for something serious: keep your shirt on.

Interested to hear your own thoughts and experiences with shirtless pics, and best of luck out there!

For the past few months, I’ve been using dating apps for hookups and fwbs. I usually just use a mimic approach and it works fine, but I’m wondering if there’s any general rule I should follow to decrease my rejection rate. I’ve seen similar questions posted in other threads, but those come off with the intention of dating, not strictly sex.

question fellas , after he said that I mentioned to the girl it was lovely meeting you and left. She told me before he walked up she told him to fck off so they were in a fight. My thought process is i'm not putting myself in an unnecessary situation because of a couple that's in an argument. Nothing to do with me or my life. Other part of me feels like i was being a bitch. What are y'all's thoughts on this