I (M21) don't get any IOIs from women in public (e.g., staring, smiling, cold approaches, etc.).

Is this a cause for concern? Should I improve my appearance?

Sometimes I like to go to a coffee shop or a bar during the week days. There have been times when I would see a girl I’m interested in that’s in the group but I don’t know of to approach.

Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do ?

So I'm visiting Europe this 2025 early Feb (internship work). I badly really want to get laid. I'm 18 old male from India. Virgin(ofc). I look 6-7/10. I look almost white color. No abs, 5.7 ft. 60 kg. Clean baby face (no pimples/acne), white color(almost). How do I get laid? To be specific, I'll be visiting France and monaco. Maybe Cezh republic too. How do i find girls/women. I prefer girls of my age , but women <40 are also fine! I really don't have the time for a 2-3 dates, then smash, etc. I just got time for a dinner + one night stand - thats the time i got - sadly. Do i need to use tinder or what/how ? (Pls dont suggest prostitute/brothels 🙏 😭 ). Also I'm afraid I wont be allowed into bars? Thanks.

Sometimes a date will go really well—the conversation flows, you both laugh, you have fun—however, the next day you get the “You’re a great guy, but..” text. This can be utterly confusing. I’ve been there.

Having fun and making her laugh is not enough. Making her laugh is only one component of attraction. Some guys make the mistake of believing being funny is the primary component.

She not only wants have fun, but feel an emotional spark. This can’t be done alone by making her laugh, or going to interesting places. There are several components to laying the foundation of engaging her emotions.

• Subtle, playful, incremental touch. A light hug when meeting her, playfully touching her arm while laughing. This component is crucial. However, it has to make sense in the context of your interaction, or it will come off as being creepy. Touching her hands within the first several minutes of sitting down is an example.

Once some comfort has been established, do a playful ‘princess style’ hand hold. Lightly place your hands under hers. I think it’s best to just go for it, but if you’re uncomfortable, ask her if a piece of jewelry she’s wearing has any meaning, or compliment her on her nails or jewelry.

Touch of the hands is POWERFUL when it comes to sparking emotion.

If you’re walking, leading by putting your hand on her back lightly if you’re crossing a road or walking to different area shows leadership and has a protective quality at the same time.

• Teasing and flirting. There is a difference between teasing and negging. A neg usually involves a backhanded compliment about her appearance that is meant to make her self conscious. It’s subtle mental manipulation and is unethical. When you tease, you’re both in on the joke. Think of the way you tease someone when you’re in a relationship. When you like someone, it’s a natural behavior to lightly make fun of each other and have fun.

Use that same type of energy. If she makes a joke that doesn’t stick, or says something dorky, look away jokingly as if you’re frightened, or for split second act like you’re getting out of your seat to leave. Teasing and flirting go hand in hand. You want to convey subtle sexual energy, though the way you look at her while you’re laughing and teasing. Use restraint; you don’t want to constantly be teasing one another. Ask her open ended questions as well.

• Eye contact. In studies, participants (who were strangers) that were placed in a room and stared into each other’s eyes reported feeling increased feelings of affection after prolonged eye contact. The importance of eye contact can’t be overstated. You don’t want to glare, but you should be maintaining steady eye contact throughout 90% of your conversation, looking away periodically so things don’t appear unnatural. While she’s talking look at her eyes, and then briefly look at her lips, and then back to her eyes. This conveys desire, while helping break the eye contact so it doesn’t turn into staring.

• Additional factors. The more she can relax, feel safe and comfortable around you, the better:

Demonstrate competence and leadership by handling the date logistics (where, when, etc.) Be a good listener. Stay present, retain what she says, don’t focus on trying to impress her Be relaxed, don’t be stiff and nervous. If she can sense that you’re intimidated, she’ll feel less secure around you. Have fun and relax, you’ll be the most attractive version of yourself.

The objective is to continue the date back at your place of hers. Don’t be ashamed of wanting to be sexual. Sex should be an objective of your dates if you don’t want to be just a platonic friend. Make sure your place is clean and conducive to making her feel relaxed. Pick date locations that aren’t too out of the way to your place.

Full article on topic: https://holdyourframe.substack.com/p/subtle-touch-flirting-teasing-and

I read The Game and many American books about pick and seduction and didn’t learn a thing. I read and watch this reddit named Gus Olsen and instantly learn. Do you guys have any seduction bloggers you like? They can be from anywhere.Thanks!

18M, i am talking with couple of girls, someones are ex-class mates and other ones are just new people that i have encounter in this places, and i want to spend some time with, for instance: going out, drinking a coffee and even some sex with them. But my general question is: how do you get in friendzone, what is the action, the steps that happend or the mistakes that i have to made in an unconcious way?

So I work at this church as a person who tells people where to park their cars. And the amount of Fine women of all ages that's there is ridiculous. With my job, I have so much access to them but I still wanna be discrete/clever about it. Is there any way ü would approach this?

So, I have read in many books that listening is one of the best ways to be a efficient communicator. But to listen i have to get people to talk about themselves. Any tips on how i can get people to open up and talk about themselves?

I’m very awkward with approaching and picking up . All my pulls are girls putting all the effort on me or me matching with girls on tinder .

Very bad at getting girls numbers and getting with girls . I have girls flirt with me all the time when I’m doing security . At Most I get a number sometimes but nothing comes out of it . After years of doing security and have only had two hook ups even though girls flirt with me very hard during security .

How do I approach without being creepy since I’m on the job . I have a big fear of getting rejected too .

I have been told I’m very good looking face wise but my personality is the issue . I’m also 6ft 2 . I think I hav e a bad personality and poor body language . Not sure how to fix this . Can’t imagine spotting a girl I like and getting her number because I liked her. It’s usually just whatever I get . Also scared of getting a complaint since I’m at work . I want to be able to read if a girl likes me and then go for it without getting in trouble

Hey y'all, I' currently texting this girl that I met on Hinge on insta. I matched with her about a week ago and have only texted her because she's on a overseas trip and returns in two more weeks.

We already settled on a date when she comes back but I'm kinda worried that I'll eventually run outta things to talk about. We've talked about TV shows, hobbies, our days, family, and etc. I guess my real worry is losing her interest over such a long period of time.

Do you guys have any tips or tricks for my situation? I'd appreciate any tips!

Thanks in advance.

How should I respond? There seems to be a healthy amount of interest from her.

Me: I haven't heard of it but I would love to know more about no frills and Canada over dinner Me: Are you free this Friday?

Her: Hehehe I would love too but that depends of if I can get away from family!

Is it possible to be 'too nice' in social interactions, especially with people you've just met or are casually around (like coworkers, friends of friends, or at parties)?

For example, I've been told I play it too safe- like saying 'thank you' every time someone does something for me but not building on the interaction. For me, it feels like if I don't express some form of verbal gratitude, I'm not properly acknowledging their contributions, and it feels awkward. But at the same time, saying 'thank you' or something similar 7-8 times a day can also feel overdone and unnatural.

Can being overly polite or cautious hold people back from forming stronger connections? I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

Just short and simple, this are the most foundational reasons on why most people dont get laid. Often we are too quick to judge ourselves instead of looking at our enviorement. So here are all the envioremental reasons you put yourself in that restricts your dating life.

Reason #1 - Not Being Social Enough
If your current lifestyle involves you sitting in front of a computer and do nothing but talk with the computer through your keyboard, well of course it is obvious what is going to happen next. If you want to get laid you need to adjust your lifestyle to get a few hours of socialization everyday, go scout and gather a list of locations around the city to see where a lot of attractive women congregate together for both the daytime and nighttime.

Reason #2 - You're Not Meeting Enough Women
Remember my post on fliriting, you should be getting rejected a lot by being polarizing. Therefore in a sense it is a numbers game, but it's not a numbers game. The reason you need to approach a lot is because most people are going to reject you no matter how good and awesome you are. But when you do come across the one that likes you, it no longer becomes a numbers game and purely relies on your pickup skills.

Think of how many different attractive women you met this month. Write it down on a peice of paper, I almost guarentee you wrote a single digit number like 8 or 5. That paper is the reason why you dont get laid. To get laid you need to increase that number, from a single digit number to a triple digit number.

Reason #3 - Not Going Out / Not Approaching
This easily brings us to the next point, to increase that number to a triple digit number means that you will at least need to approach 25 women a week! The biggest mistake you can do now is to not approach and not go out. How are you going to meet 25 new and attractive women otherwise?

Reason #4 - No Flirting Skills
Women are very nonforgiving when it comes to your verbal skills. So this is a skill you will have to train over the years. Check out my post on fliriting and a post called "itemized list of things to practice"

Reason #5 - Dont Understand What Attracts Women
Attraction is a very counterintuitive thing. You cannot arrive at the correct answer just by using your logic and observation. You will need to go infield and see for yourself, what really attracts women. No amount of people trying to convince you here will work.

You can go see my post "how attraction works" to figure this out. Even if you're meeting 100 new and attractive women every month, you cannot display the list of qualities that repels women. Unfortunately, if you do that, you will still get no results.

Reason #6 - Victim Complex
When you come home everyday after the hustle and bustle, at the end of the day, there is no one left behind but you and your thoughts. All your mishaps are caused by one thing. Your inability to take 100% responsibility.

The moment you take 100% responsibility for what happens in your life, thats the moment where angels in the sky shines you with light. This means, no blaming others, no toxic ideology, no demonization on this and that. 100% responsibility. There is only you. You are the problem.

Reason #7 - Not Developing Yourself Holistically
Outside of your pickup skills, you will still need a good life to invite women in. If you're unwilling to grow yourself into becoming an attractive man, then even when you become great at pickup you will not be able to sustain the relationship. The girl is going to think you have deceived her.

This also helps with the process of pickup as well, you can DHV with congruence instead of making up canned lines to fake value. True value cannot be faked, and any forms of fake value will be exposed to the girl over time.

As you become more wise, smarter girls will be attracted to you. As you become more compassionate and loving, more compassionate and loving girls will be attracted to you. As you become more ambitious, more ambitious girls will be attracted to you. As you become more healthy, health conscious girls will now be attracted to you. You fundementnally need to become who you want to attract, because people who possess the traits you dont have, wont let you undermine their values in your presence.

Conclusion
More of a post catered towards begineers and people starting out, I will update this periodically from time to time. Best of luck and see my other posts to gain some clarity on the territory. Cheers.

Hi guys I’d love some if your tips on escalation or kiss closing. Most of my kiss closing involves dancing alcohol parties or three person kiss so I am not the best closing on dates.

What are your routines to close on dates?

I like going to events that involve music. I attend many raves and i’m also considering going out to clubs solo to just have a good time and dance to music. When I go to these events though I always see so many beautiful women that i’d love to shoot my shot with but i’m way to shy and nervous. In the same breath I see dudes that just seem to approach and all of a sudden they’re dancing and grinding on them just like that. How would I approach dancing with a girl and maybe having it to lead to more at the end of the night? Would I just dance nearby a girl I’m interested in and if we make good eye contact and she seems open pay her a compliment and ask if she wants to dance? Should I not say anything at all and just try to read her body language and if she’s receptive then break the touch barrier? I have no clue how to approach this and can honestly say I have never picked up a girl at a club/rave/festival before so i’m super new to it and don’t know how to even start approaching it although I feel like these environments would be a bit easier for me since there isin’t much conversation involved which is less nerves. I swear I never get looks from women that they’re interested in me in these settings and i’m a pretty good looking guy, dress clean and am well groomed. I’m not doing anything creepy , at this point i’m not even doing any approaching or attempts at all because idk how to without seeming creepy. Seeming creepy or too pushy right away is my ultimate fear so I really don’t try. Any advice/tips?

Went on a date with this girl like a week ago I really enjoyed compared to others I’ve dated. Didn’t smash, but we kissed a bit and she fell asleep on me at my pad. She showed a lot of investment via text post date and even suggested the idea for when she gets back from her trip. Her trip, however, is 2 weeks. I checked in with her 5 days from our initial date (yesterday) and still got great investment on her end.

I know I know, keep talking to other women, and I am, but I want to know if this is worth continuing to put effort into. I’ve never had a gap this long after a first date. I feel like I could make it work by dropping light, flirty check-ins until she’s back in 10 days. Anyone ever been in a situation like this?

Does anyone know if there is any difference with public vs private colleges when it comes to security giving you issues?

For example I live in Seattle, WA, and the University of Washington is considered a public university (anyone can protest freely in red square area). I believe in the public university, the police or security can not kick you out because its public property.

On a private property college though, I wonder if a student reports that she is annoyed by a pick up artist approaching women, if the college has a right to kick them out? My assumption would be yes, because its similar to the analogy of mall security kicking someone out. I was told a Private business can kick you out for any reason since they own the property, however on public institutions they can not.

Am I correct on this statement or am I wrong?

I figure for doing day game its best to stick to public colleges to be safe. I once did massive women approaches in a mall one time (about 100 women in 2 hours), and mall security kicked me out for one day only because they claimed the women were annoyed that I was approaching them randomly asking if they were single, and the security said it was disruptive, even though I didn't do anything wrong, I got kicked out for simply approaching. I have never had this happen to me in a public area that is outside of a private property.

I have done day game on public colleges but have not tried private colleges yet.

UW is a public college where I live, but Seattle university is a private college for example.

Girls make their own money, most of the girls i recently dated were usually very happy to pay for dates, splits the bill, pay me gift etc

When a girl like you, it actually make her happy to pay stuff for you

Status only matter if you are a well known actor, singer, athlete and that's it, being a CEO or a doctor won't improve your success with girls

As for lifting, as long as you are not skinny or obese, you are fine, hit the gym 2x a week & keep a bf around 15%

focus on improving your looks should be your #1 priority, keeping your hair, take care of your skin, teeth ...

and the #2 priority is to become very good at socializing with any people

I have zero problem talking to women and even introduction very sexual topics with innuendos and such and women laugh with me a lot.

The problem is when I get to this point, I feel like the conversation devolves into a meaningless thing because at this point, if we're talking about sexual topics than going back and fourth with normal topics, what is there more to speak about ?

I think I am teasing too much but I would like to know you opinions and how you would remedy this because it really makes the conversation boring, corny and kills the sexual tension even though we're talking about sex.

Some guys say that you should keep high energy approaches and conversations with Nightgame only and that during daygame you can better be stoic and more quiet. I agree that for nightgame, the only option is to be very high energy and loud. For daygame I found it personally hard to find the right balance between being extravert and more louder/talkative versus being more stoic because that can be perceived a anxious or shy.

I would like to hear your thoughts about this.

The natural way of just bumping into your soul mate and existing with her without any gambits and techniques does that still exist or must you we always be running game?

I think those of us who have met and come across those one-in-a-million personalities, a person so magnetic and charismatic that it inspires you to emulate it or improve yourself, a person that shows you what is possible because how high can we know the bar is if we do never see it for ourselves?

My inspiration was this guy I knew from my class at high school. He wasn’t the tallest, or the most intelligent, or even the most good looking, but had so much charisma, always smiling, entertaining himself, didn’t care what people thought. The year he joined my school that I had been in for a while, he became the most popular and liked guy in the school within only a few months. It was crazy to see how everyone knew his name, even those 5 years older than us.

I went to a house party that he was also at, and witnessed the guy sitting around a large round table basically entertaining 4 girls at once who looked like they were entranced.

I don’t know where he is now, last time I heard he was working on a boat as a deckhand. Doesn’t have social media anymore and nobody in my circle knows where he is or how he’s doing. But every time I’m in a situation with a girl and I don’t know what to do, I think of him and imagine what he would do.

If you have one, share your story about who inspired you to work on yourself, and showed you what’s possible when it comes to charisma and seduction!

Who else was told growing up work hard, get a good job, make a lot of money and girls will come flocking to you?

What would cause this to happen? I am 24M and there is a girl I’ve met a few times at the bar over the past few months. The first time we met there was definitely a vibe of sexual tension and lots of touching but no kiss, we sat next to one another and chatted. Didn’t take her back to my place or anything, was too nervous. Second time we met was similar, but we talked for longer and about deeper topics, she opened up more about herself and her personal life, she even admitted she thought I was attractive. Didn’t take her home because again, I was too nervous, but we exchanged phone numbers and didn’t text much in the weeks after. Last week though a friend of mine at the bar (who is also a girl) was saying that me and her seem interested in each other last time and appears the chemistry is good, so I reconsidered meeting her again.

So we set up a date yesterday and go out for a drink. This time we talked even deeper and there was definitely a sexual vibe, lots of physical contact and I was sure to escalate this time because I was too nervous before. At one point though I kind of tried to subtly hint at going back to my place to hook up, and she replied “are you expecting something to happen,” to which I said “maybe.” At this point there was a brief silence and then she said she was worried that sleeping together would ruin the bond that we have, to which I paused for a second and just said “ok.” The weird thing is, she still agreed to come back to my place to hang out for a bit, and we even sat very close and had a conversation about sex in general, even asking me about my last hookup (which was 1.5 years ago) so I thought maybe there was still a chance.

Eventually she said she had to go. At that point I felt very sad and a little bit hurt, as dumb as it sounds. I have been friendzoned before but it was always kind of obvious that they weren’t into me back then, so while it was annoying it didn’t sting as bad. And this time I deliberately tried to do the opposite of what put me in the friend zone in the past. Eventually I slammed a few beers and went to bed. Woke up feeling so ashamed of myself and so down. I still feel really hurt. She asked if we were going to see each other again and I said after the holidays I’ll think about it.

"Would you rather", "Truth or dare" "Five questions and lies"(never tried this myself) are three games that can build rapport / sexual tension.

Edit: surprised by bipolar response. Need to add: these all are not for one person or one date. And have to be delivered in context. Having them at the back of my mind reduces pressure to have to think.

Here are some questions:

Would you rather?

Rapport building:

• Pet dog or pet cat?
• Romantic comedy or action movie?
• Would you rather be famous, or rich?
• House in a city or countryside?
• Big wedding or a small wedding?
• Salsa dancing or bachata dancing // Ballroom dancing or club dancing?

Make it romantic and dirty:

• Dancing in a nightclub or in the kitchen?
• Kiss or cuddle?
• Dirty dance or pillow fight?
• Sex with lights on or lights off?

Truth or dare?:

Questions:

Deep questions to build connection (pick 2-3. Skip this if you think she just wants to smash):

• What is your favorite memory?
• What are you most proud of? What is your favorite compliment to receive?
• What was the last time you cried?
• What is your dream job?
• If you won 100 M what would you do with it?

Make it a bit more romantic (pick 2-3):

• Who was your first crush?
• When was your first memorable kiss?
• How did the kiss make you feel?
• What is your sexiest outfit?
• When was your first time?
• Have you ever cheated on someone? (I have mixed feelings about this)

Make it a bit spicy (1-2):

• Penetration orgasm or oral orgasm?
• What sex act you want to receive?
• What sex act you want to give?
• What is your favorite sex position?

At this point if she goes for truth -- I just say let's do dare. Dares:

• You have to give me a five-minute massage
• You have to kiss me on my cheeks
• You have to cuddle with me
• You have to kiss me on
• You have to stay in a dark room with me
• You have to fake an orgasm (never used this)

Edit:

Added this game from earlier thread:

Five questions and lies: I will ask you five questions and you have to give an answer that is a lie.

• Question 1: Are you ready? If she says yes-- I will give you a second chance.
• Question 2: What day is today?
• Question 3: Are you wearing blue / black / whatever color she is wearing?
• Question 4: How many questions is that?
• Last question. If you fail you have to kiss me.
• Question 5: Do you want to kiss me?

Please add your routines / games or questions.

1. I don't really have a problem conversing with women. but from time to time, I hear myself going on and on about the difference between a v8 and a v10, why Thor is superior to superman, or which corrupt politician deserves to be beheaded. sure some girls might be into these things but I'd say most aren't. apart from the normal relationship talks, what else should I add to my arsenal?

2. also, I saw this trend on TikTok of women being lifted by their men and most in the comments were saying "if only my man was strong enough or I was light enough" and it got me thinking, what do you think is the percentage of women that care for that?is it a few, half, most or almost all?.

Curious how yall do it, heard there’s a lot of hoes on snap but never understood the game.

For context, both parties are strangers who have just met, maybe at a party, or at a gathering or at a cafe or could be a first date.

My friends hosted a Christmas party and at the end of the night one of them invited a friend over. Long story short I get a phone call from a mutual telling me all of that crazy things that girl said she wanted to do to me after i left.

The next day the mutual sends me their contact, I assumed that I was to hit her up and say something witty and start a conversation?? I ended up saying something I think was too flirty and realized I was just supposed to add her social and talk to her later in real life.

It is possible she could be creeped out by the message, it’s not HORRIBLE but it does probably reveal my cards a little too much.

How would you guys navigate this? I’m planning on giving a short response to whatever she responds with and waiting to see her again organically. Is there any way to gauge the damage?

I struggle with responding to compliments. I have received compliments like:

1. You are so good looking. I am distracted
2. I am so attracted to you - while having a drink at a bar
3. Thank you for the wonderful night yesterday/ great evening yesterday

What are simple yet effective answers that increase sexual tension?