Hi I would really appreciate it if somebody could read my bad news letter and tell me if I could improve it?

NOTE: I am NOT a good writer at all.

This is for school and is NOT a real situation.

Also there is a section highlighted in blue. Please read the letter with and without that section and tell me if I should keep that part or not.

The situation:

As a staff member of the Customer Relations Department of Atlantic Southern Airlines, deny the customer’s claim but retain her goodwill using techniques learned in this chapter. The airline never refunds cash, but it might consider travel vouchers for the value of the glasses. Remember that apologies cost nothing. Write a claim denial to Casey Segal-Jain, 999 3rd Avenue, Apt. 45, Seattle, WA 98104. Write this denial in a business letter format.

Atlantic Southern Airlines (ASA) had an unhappy customer. Casey Segal-Jain flew from Baltimore, Maryland, to Seattle, Washington. The flight stopped briefly at Detroit Metropolitan Airport, where Ms. Segal-Jain got off the plane for half an hour. When she returned to her seat, her $400 prescription reading glasses were gone. She asked the flight attendant where the glasses were, and the attendant said they probably were thrown away since the cleaning crew had come in with big bags and tossed everything in them. Ms. Segal-Jain tried to locate the glasses through the airline’s lost-and-found service, but she failed.

Then she wrote a strong letter to the airline demanding reimbursement for the loss. She felt that it was obvious that she was returning to her seat. The airline, however, knows that an overwhelming number of passengers arriving at hubs switch planes for their connecting flights. The airline does not know who is returning. What’s more, flight attendants usually announce that the plane is continuing to another city and that passengers who are returning should take their belongings. Cabin cleaning crews speed through planes removing newspapers, magazines, leftover food, and trash. Airlines feel no responsibility for personal items left in cabins.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Kjdqi-ySm0w3G_gGC4xI0g_iBfpvWPDDCfLOwDil5Tc/edit?usp=sharing

Hi thanks for taking a glance at my statement of purpose, I'm submitting it to the University of Washington today and wanted to get some second opinions. Just to see if it is reasonable. Thank you for taking a look!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kHy_DPwdlFAk_3Zu93tEhxMhdF1FVYmpmgFIdkOw9WQ/edit?usp=sharing

Hello, I need some people to read over my paper, as this is the first academic paper I have ever written and, respectfully, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Please send me a dm if you're willing to help me, so I can send you the link

Have a nice day!! :))

Hello my dear savior of my essay, I just found out today that my English final exam will be replaced by an argumentative essay on how AI hinders creativity. I need to have 3 body paragraphs including one that addresses and refutes a counterclaim. I feel like I'm nearly done, yet I feel like the whole essay in wonky in general. This is the link to my google doc <3 Please help me 😭 +Thank you SO MUCH & I love you so much for helping me<3

Comment and I’ll send link

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Active Duty Air Force Pilot Personal Statements Due 12/06/24:

Is anyone able to / willing to look at my drafts of my two personal statements?

1. What are your objectives and reasons for desiring a commission?
2. What leadership attributes do you possess that would make you a good officer?

Each is to be around 500 words -

Thank you very much -

All The Best -

Thomas

edit: due on 2024-12-2 now. due to me missing class I just recently found out that this is due tomorrow, due date closed a week faster than originally expected. i did use AI to help me write some passages (asked for ideas on how to better structure my paragraphs and get a decent idea of what my flow of work should look like) but it shouldn't be fully AI written. if anyone could give me some feedback on what I should improve/change, please help!

doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/19OYOxqCa9XYDmKxLuyscTpHj6p7TxozlvaqA9jY2HOA/edit?usp=sharing

Hi! I’m applying to EPFL’s Masters degree in Life Sciences Engineering and I wanted to know if someone could help me proofread my SOP. English isn’t my mother tongue so I want to check my SOP.

I'm applying to a top grad school for public policy and I'd love some proofreading/feedback on my application essays. App is due on Tuesday so I would love help by the end of the weekend. Happy to pay fairly for reviewing about 2400 words. Please DM. Thanks!

hi, is there anyone who would proofread this comic book? it's a fantasy-sci-fi-superhero graphic novel actually. translation into english has now been made by me and the AI but i am sure that comments by native speakers will help. thanks a lot!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MceGR-m7_w2Y_oKeA_JVCVmozeoEm61h/view?usp=drive_link

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kD6VkQY6k_fK79GryrXAQJzoPMXmmnKpqhlYv9o0Eos/edit?usp=sharing

Written for a local theatre group the kids were involved with the writing. Need some fresh eyes.

Hello can anyone read my personal essay and suggest me edits? It would be really helpful Thank you in advance 🫶

*for free

When used in the center of a sentence, e.g.,"I will have a glass of Highland Scotch, neat, when I get home this evening," should "Highland" or "Scotch" be capitalized? One or the other? Both? Neither?

What I've seen published seems to vary greatly; I strongly suspect that both words should be capitalized. Hoever, I can't find any references to standardized treatment in style guides or otherwise.

Articles about whiskeys tend to be wildly inconsistent, from what I've found after some brief googling around.

Any advice here — especially with sources I might be able to cite to back up one choice over another?

FYI I don't need feedback on the formatting, I would just like feedback on the actual storytelling aspect of it please!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dQPF53sMEiWUAiexkbbShl0YZfF4umh2eK8_-VPejws/edit?usp=sharing

I'm writing a small essay for a scholarship. The scholarship is from a large corporation. I've never done one before, so hopefully I was able to hit all the points that my reviewer will be looking for. I really need this scholarship, so I'll be grateful for any comments. You can leave your comments in the google doc, or you can PM me. Thank you!

Prompt: Explain your career goals and aspirations, incorporating specific details and personal experiences. (300 words)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/18hAsBeyjY-SjKrq28_sf_NXxfH7CSnwmeopLqZiJNag/edit?usp=sharing

Hi,

I finished my novel manuscript.

I'm searching for some feedback before I move forward with the book, and just general thoughts from potential beta readers. My main worries are with pacing, plot, and whether the story can be easily followed.

Please note that I cannot pay much compensation. Not looking for anything professional, just general feedback. Comment or DM if you're interested, thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Tyrantcomics/shop/hydrogen-man-legacy-of-stanley-allen-654299?source=storefront

Hydrogen-Man: The Legacy of Stanley Allen Meyer

In a world dominated by oil giants and political corruption, one man dared to dream of a cleaner, brighter future. Stanley Meyer, a visionary inventor, defied the forces of greed with a revolutionary invention—a car that could run on water, harnessing the limitless power of hydrogen fuel. But Meyer’s groundbreaking technology didn’t just spark hope; it ignited a fierce battle. As powerful interests close ranks to protect their empires, Meyer finds himself hunted, betrayed, and pushed to the brink. Yet, his creation lives on, evolving into something greater than he could have ever imagined. Armed with his hydrogen-powered suit, Meyer becomes Hydrogen-Man, a relentless symbol of resistance against a world bent on keeping fossil fuels at the helm. As Hydrogen-Man fights his way through corporate spies, mercenaries, and conspirators, his legacy becomes a legend—an enduring story of courage, conviction, and the power of one man’s determination to change the world. But as he digs deeper, Meyer uncovers an even darker plot with implications far beyond his own invention—a conspiracy that threatens the future of the Earth itself. Hydrogen-Man: The Legacy of Stanley Allen Meyer is a high-stakes, eco-thriller about a man’s battle for clean energy, the cost of innovation, and the timeless struggle between greed and the greater good. Join the fight for a sustainable future and discover how one man’s dream could change the fate of humanity.

i love my mom:

hi mama,
I wanted to write this out to ensure there’s no misunderstanding, because for me personally, it's also easier to remember when I read vs. us having a heated argument. i understand that you're concerned about my well-being and i appreciate that. right now, i’m feeling really overwhelmed by this decision of screen time, even though i could quickly reverse that, but i’ll explain later. as we know, i just turned 18 and became a legal adult! so  i’m confused why you didn’t talk to me about this first and just made the restriction without any warning or talking to me. i didn’t even realize my sleep schedule was affecting you so much. I am so sorry, but I am aware my sleep pattern is awful and trash.
I understand that students my age are typically out in universities. lets say in another life, where i actually went and moved for college, would you still try to restrict my devices like you are now? what really hurts is that i already don’t feel like an adult yet because i’m still living at home like a high schooler. i want to be a normal college student, but this reinforces that feeling. i'm really eager to experience the independence that comes with being a college student.
what’s even more upsetting is that even apple has a policy where, once a child turns 18, they can manage their own device, including things like screen time! that makes me feel like a company trusts me more to make my own decisions than my mom does, which is such a crazy thing to process!!
I understand that I need to work on a few things to while I learn how to properly function as an adult, but i don’t see how adding restrictions will help me. it just makes me feel even more stuck when i’m trying to build independence. that’s why i got my license, to start taking those steps forward, and you were there to help me with that! you’re still supporting me with the insurance courses, you’re my trusted adult! you’re helping me shape into a woman who i will be one day as you are a strong woman yourself. i want to assure you that i take these responsibilities seriously and i am committed to proving that i can handle them.
i know you do a lot for me, like laundry, dishes, and even helping me wake up, and it might seem like i’m picking and choosing what independence means to me, but i really thought we’d already overcome this issue. that’s why seeing my screen time restricted again felt so sudden and unexpected.
mama, i’m really not trying to argue with you. i just wanted to explain how i feel because i thought we were making progress, and this feels like a step backward. it’s hard for me not to take it personally. i feel like my perspective and feelings are not fully understood, and i believe that open communication is so important for our family.
 i don’t expect a full 180 from this, but it was important for me to tell you how i feel clearly. the feeling of being stuck has been on my mind for quite a while, and i wanted to share that with you. if you have any questions about what i’m saying, i’ll try my best to answer!!
I’m only addressing this because we’re both adults now, and I’m hoping we can have a kind conversation about it. You are NOT a failure as a mother, and I really hope you don’t take it that way. We’re both just human, and I have a few things I want to share with you.

Hello everyone,

I recently finished a business website with just a few info pages. I appreciate if you can help proofreading it.

I want it to be professional, simple and easy to understand, and provide only necessary info online and viewers can contact our staffs for more details. I am open to all comments on, including but not limited to, the current content, choice of words, errors and new ideas (additional pages, content, etc.) The website is https://grovethc.com

Please write your comment here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1URztGNIjsYDH0nDmG-pCqeu9ZEjDl_QLb_xktGkU3kA/edit?usp=sharing

Thank you!

📢 Hello!!

I am a student of Translation and Interpreting, currently conducting research on the practices of professionals in text editing and proofreading. 📝

If you work in this field, I would love your help! Your participation in this brief survey is essential to my project.

👉 https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe0nXQcaHobdehgchkbXUjrq_rEdvpFwgpsihLuAj_gOaiSOg/viewform?usp=sf_link

Thank you very much for your collaboration and time!

hi guys, is there anyone willing to help me with my graphic novel? it's a fantasy-sci-fi superhero thing - you may take a look at the italian version here

https://globalcomix.com/c/la-maledizione-dello-scarabeo/chapters/it/1/1

- and i really would love to publish an english version. thanks a lot!

!!DM if interested!!

Just mostly looking for edits/mistakes/misspelled words/etc. Everyone I've shared this with has basically failed me in editing it. They read the first page or two, say I need to do better then never read it again.

I plan on having my books be seven-part sagas. The book I mainly want to be edited (the first one) has 121k words.

PS: If you've ever read Warrior Cats or Survivor Dogs, my books are similar to those (My books are just with dogs instead of cats).

Hello! Could you please look through the rubric for my assignment and see if my paper answers the questions well? Any corrections or tips are also greatly appretiated!

Rubric: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FdchCORrDH6m2mGGm8h5buUvmmVEQHJCG5vuBtIMUH4/edit?usp=sharing

Paper: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1m1ZuSjJzvBWlcX0QAqm7k9_vav7ls-UBYdL4Mbu1A8c/edit?usp=sharing

Hi,

I finished my first book. Novel about black heroes. both historic and new ones. I am thinking of making it into a series of books. But, I don't know if that will ever happen.

I'm searching for some feedback before I move forward with the book, and just general thoughts from potential beta readers. My main worries are with pacing, plot, and whether the story can be easily followed.

Please note that I cannot pay much compensation. Not looking for anything professional, just general feedback. Comment or DM if you're interested, thank you!

Hi,

I started working on a novel a while ago and have finished drafting the first part. Titled Project: Destiny, the narrative follows a girl named Destiny, who wakes up far from home with no memory of who she is. She comes to learn that she has been missing for two years. When she returns to a 'home' that she doesn't recognize, she is greeted not with warmth; instead she is met with the echoes of her past, and secrets between the walls that haunt her. A girl named 'Tacerys' finds Destiny and claims to be one of her old friends--although her presence appears to be much more sinister. Each chapter alternates between the past and present, 'before and after' Destiny lost her memories.

So far I have only written the first section, which is 9 chapters and only 16k words long. I'm searching for some feedback before I move forward with the story, and just general thoughts from potential beta readers. My main worries are with pacing, plot, and whether the story can be easily followed.

Please note that I cannot pay compensation. Not looking for anything professional, just general feedback. Comment or DM if you're interested, thank you!

Hello, 

Thank you for allowing me to rewrite the assignment.  I am currently checking with Dr. C to see if there are any other classes I can use in place of xxxx toward my master’s degree.  If there are no other classes that I can use, I will rewrite the paper.  

I would like to inform you that I took xxx in 2011 with Dr. smile. He was a wonderful professor, and honestly I cannot see him requiring me to write an unnecessary paper to revalidate the class. I have been working in my field for over 10 years. If I have remembered or forgotten anything from the xxx, it is irrelevant. My job will not change if I am awarded a master’s degree, only my salary, and believe me, the change in salary is minimal! I do not see a purpose for writing a paper to demonstrate if I have skills or not.  I have never used these skills in the past ten years, and will likely never use them for the rest of my career, but if that is what I need to do to earn a miniscule raise, I will play the game and give it another try.  

Also, I needed to revalidate two other classes prior to xxx and after speaking on zoom with the professor for 5 minutes, they had no issues revalidating those courses. 

Hi, this is my first time using this subreddit. I am currently a high school Junior however my school does have College Credit Plus classes, and I am in Writing 1. I have a critical analysis that I need to print out tomorrow, my teacher says I need to stop worrying and just write because she says I am good, but I still worry. Especially since she says she can no longer proofread them for us. I also did not want to share this on Google Docs because I really don't like sharing my name on the internet so I'm very sorry for the inconvenience and I hope it's still okay to be posted. If it looks fine just how it is, fantastic, if there are small things that's fine, and things that you believe could improve the paper a lot would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for the yap! :)

My Name

Teachers Name

Writing 1

24 October 2024

“Fremont High School” Critical Analysis

A proper education is essential to a successful life. However, it can be hindered when that education is not sufficiently facilitated due to problems such as poverty. In 2005, author, activist, and educator, Jonathan Kozol wrote *The Shame of the Nation: The Restoration of Apartheid Schooling in America.* Within the book, Kozol wrote a section titled “Fremont High School” where he presented information about the various issues of Fremont High, a Los Angeles school. The article's main goal is to highlight how poorly funded and improperly run schools can harm students' education. Kozol does this by using numerous quotes from the various Fremont High students and teachers. He also uses many descriptive phrases to create clear mental images of what occurs in the school, as well as using multiple pictures throughout his writing. Kozol’s writing effectively draws attention to how poorly funded and improperly run schools can negatively affect the education of young students.

Kozol establishes the basic description of the school within the very first paragraph. He informs the readers of the student population, which is in the thousands with the number of students attending around 3,300. Then using a multitude of descriptive sentences and photos Kozol paints a vivid picture of how Fremont High is poorly maintained. He uses a variety of quotes from teachers and students to help explain how the school is run. One of the major issues that was brought up by one of the students is the bathrooms within Fremont High School. The student interviewed explained the many issues with the restrooms and how the lack of clean and workable bathrooms negatively impacts the dignity of the learners at Fremont High. This is one of the many examples Kozol effectively uses in his writing. Kozol's writing discusses many issues and his piece does a great job of making the reader think about how education is damaged when it is stricken by poverty.

To start, Kozol is able to display his main idea well through the support he uses. Within the article “Fremont High School” Kozol uses many reliable and credible sources of information. The main sources are quotes from those who attend Fremont High and those who work at the school. The quotes he uses help the reader understand the issues with the school in a way that the reader can understand and empathize with. For example, one of the students Kozol interviewed was a girl named Mireya. She discussed many of the issues with the schooling at Fremont. One of the problems she was very passionate about was how she was placed into sewing classes in the previous year and now she was placed into hair-dressing, both of which she did not have a say in. This led her to say, “I don’t *want* to take hair-dressing. I did not need sewing either. I knew how to sew. My mother is a seamstress in a factory. I’m trying to go to college. I don’t need to sew to go to college. My mother sews. I hoped for something else.” (Kozol, 6) The use of this quote demonstrates the unfairness of Fremont High’s schooling. With the way the school is run the classes fill too quickly meaning those who want to take special classes like APs cannot. Not allowing students to take those elective classes damages their education, making it harder for the pupils to get a higher education or a good career which many people need for a successful life. The second way Kozol uses support is his use of photographs. Within his article, only two images are used. The first is an image of the front sign of the school which states “Fremont High, The Friendly School.” The use of that photo shows the misleading title of the school early in Kozol’s article before the reader knows much about the school. The second picture is an image of the school from a distance, with a steel fence in the foreground. This photo makes the school seem like a prison, with the students being stuck in the school guarded by a large fence. These photos paint a negative image of the school in the reader's mind. These first-hand accounts from the students of Fremont High and the photographs included draw a lot of attention to how inadequately run and poorly funded schools have a detrimental impact on the education of students, especially those who need that education.

The second way Kozol draws attention to how poverty in schools negatively affects students is his appeal to the reader. He creates an emotional appeal by using a mix of facts and descriptions in his writing. Kozol gives information and details about the school in a way that causes the reader to feel sympathetic toward the many kids who must endure the school's poor conditions. At times Kozol writes in a way that makes the reader feel as if they are experiencing the issues at Fremont High. This emotional appeal is created mostly by the sources and information he uses. The quotes from the students appeal to the reader, especially those who may have experienced something similar in their lives. Another way Kozol creates emotional appeal and a sense of sympathy, and depending on the reader, possibly empathy, is how he describes the school. Describing the physical properties of a location when telling information about it is very important and how writers do so will affect how important that information will be. In Kozol’s writing, he describes the characteristics of the school building in detail. The many details contained in Kozol's writing such as the descriptions of the large eight-foot fence adorned with spikes that surrounds the school building, or the unclean classrooms that were converted from storage closets. The large amount of detail that was poured into these descriptions makes the reader understand the poor conditions of the school, and that appeals to the reader’s emotions. The use of multiple quotes from students and descriptions of the school's vile conditions captures the reader’s emotions and is a successful tactic in bringing attention to the problems that arise when education is not properly funded and run.

The third and final reason Kozol successfully draws attention to the adverse effects of schools that are ineffectively run and improperly funded is the authorities and the outside information that he uses. He uses several different outside sources throughout the article all of which are credible. For example, within the first paragraph, Kozol uses descriptions of the school from the *Los Angeles Times*. Those magazines have a very high credibility and a high level of factual reporting. The other major authority Kozol uses is the teachers of Fremont High School. He uses information from the facility that works there to further his main point. The teachers know the students and the school better than anyone which means they can provide factual and trustworthy information on the issues occurring at Fremont High. Kozol also includes information from multiple different records including court and school records. For example, in the article, Kozol states, “maintenance records of the school report. “Rat droppings” are recorded “in the bins and drawers” of the high school’s kitchen.” (Kozol, 4) The use of these records demonstrates very credible information. They are not rumors spread by students that may or may not be true, but rather factual records kept by the school. Kozol is extremely successful in proving the credibility of his article because of the authorities and the trustworthiness of the sources that are used in his writing. This use of authority in Kozol’s article helps the reader trust the information that is being presented and therefore is an essential key in drawing attention to the issue of poverty in schools and how it affects students educationally.

Kozol’s 2005 piece, “Fremont High School” is an article that is extremely effective at bringing needed attention to how schools that are deficiently funded and poorly run can have a detrimental influence on the education of students. He does this through the many pieces of evidence and support that he uses in his writing, including quotes and photographs. Kozol also appeals to the reader by using descriptive phrases very well to create an emotional appeal that furthers his main point. He also uses credible outside sources and authorities which causes readers to understand his claim and to believe it. Kozol uses all of this information in a very skillful manner which leaves the reader pondering poverty's impact on education which was Kozol’s goal. The conversation about poverty needs to be happening constantly. It is a major issue in the world today and without articles like Kozol’s bringing attention to this problem, it would make little progress in being fixed. Poverty in the school system only leads to negative things, society must work together to resolve these issues. After all, the students of today are the doctors, scientists, and politicians of the future. 

My coworker feels like she got fired unfairly and got our other coworker to write a complaint that my manager and 4 other coworkers are bullying him for being disabled (I promise we are not). I’ve been told I’m a horrible writer so anything will help!!!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1o5oShPQle_n0flzCSAuqdz5HuAmfFUiWi0WNpV29PVs/edit

What clubs, sports, programs, and/or service opportunities have you been involved in and what positive impact have you had on each?

A sport and service opportunity I've been involved in and impacted is swimming. Since I was a child around 5 years old, l've been swimming, I've done so because my whole life, I've felt as though it's my mission to swim because of my relatives, who were born from penurious mexican descent, some of them who had never seen a pool never had the opportunity to learn how to swim, but I, who was born into a home where we were able to afford to go to a pool, I've been able to learn how to swim and I remember growing up and teaching every relative I could how to swim, doing so filled me with jubilation. I felt as though I was doing the best service opportunity I could, teaching those who never had the opportunity to learn. Ever after that I ensued my passion and I currently do competitive swimming.

I currently make $23/hr and am asking for a 4$ increase. Please tell me if there is anything you would change or add. Should I ask for more in case my boss wants to counter offer?

Thank you for taking the time to read this and respond.

Dear ****,

I hope this message finds you well. I want to start by expressing my heartfelt gratitude for being such a wonderful mentor and boss. You not only created this position for me, but you also recognized my potential when others might not have. Your support and encouragement have made a profound impact on my professional and personal life. Since joining the team in June 2022, I have truly loved working for you, and the sense of belonging you’ve fostered in our team has made every day a joy. I genuinely appreciate how you’ve made me feel valued and empowered, and I see a bright future ahead as we continue to grow together.

In my role, I have taken on significant responsibilities that I believe have contributed to our team's success, including:

• Onboarding new agents weekly/biweekly, setting them up in the CRM, and managing their presence in GroupMe.
• Running the Policy Outreach Campaign, where I lead a small team to improve client retention and collect referrals, passing them out to the original writing agent.
• Monitoring team members during their shifts on Zoom, ensuring they meet their responsibilities, and addressing client needs.
• Assisting clients with payment types, helping them lower their coverage amounts to make services more affordable, and contacting clients for missed payments as part of our NTO campaign to improve retention.
• Filling out FWGs for clients, which required access to agent e-apps, until we streamlined this process.
• Keeping track of **** and *****'s hours for payroll.
• Running nightly reports to send to the team, helping them stay on top of their numbers for the week.
• Looking up agents' daily sales in the CRM to record the details for our policy outreach campaign.
• Recording agents' daily commissions from the MGA report, as well as daily and weekly bonuses, to track each agent's income.

This past year, I have personally helped save over $77K in annual premiums, and I continuously support our agents by answering questions and assisting with policy changes. My role has grown significantly, and I am dedicated to enhancing our team's overall success.

With all of this in mind, I would like to humbly request a pay increase of $4 per hour, bringing my hourly rate to $27. This adjustment would help reflect my contributions to the team and support my family, especially given the rising cost of living. For the next four years, my income alone will be supporting my family of three, as my fiancé is in school full-time. As a 1099 employee, I do not receive the same benefits as a W-2 employee, and I currently lack a 401(k) to save for my family’s future. This raise would enable me to start planning for long-term financial stability until my fiancé can contribute to our income.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my request. I would love to discuss this further with you and hear your thoughts. I truly appreciate your support and everything you do for our team.

Warm regards, 

*******