I would love to read suggestions and feedbacks. Thanks in advance pretty strangers <3

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SL8c8kEvnvrFFmcjQgXItwyOvfWIXsOEkqzxQ9_d1To/edit?usp=sharing

Hello everyone,

I recently finished a business website with just a few info pages. I appreciate if you can help proofreading it.

I want it to be professional, simple and easy to understand, and provide only necessary info online and viewers can contact our staffs for more details. I am open to all comments on, including but not limited to, the current content, choice of words, errors and new ideas (additional pages, content, etc.) The website is https://grovethc.com

Please write your comment here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1URztGNIjsYDH0nDmG-pCqeu9ZEjDl_QLb_xktGkU3kA/edit?usp=sharing

Thank you!

📢 Hello!!

I am a student of Translation and Interpreting, currently conducting research on the practices of professionals in text editing and proofreading. 📝

If you work in this field, I would love your help! Your participation in this brief survey is essential to my project.

👉 https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe0nXQcaHobdehgchkbXUjrq_rEdvpFwgpsihLuAj_gOaiSOg/viewform?usp=sf_link

Thank you very much for your collaboration and time!

hi guys, is there anyone willing to help me with my graphic novel? it's a fantasy-sci-fi superhero thing - you may take a look at the italian version here

https://globalcomix.com/c/la-maledizione-dello-scarabeo/chapters/it/1/1

- and i really would love to publish an english version. thanks a lot!

!!DM if interested!!

Just mostly looking for edits/mistakes/misspelled words/etc. Everyone I've shared this with has basically failed me in editing it. They read the first page or two, say I need to do better then never read it again.

I plan on having my books be seven-part sagas. The book I mainly want to be edited (the first one) has 121k words.

PS: If you've ever read Warrior Cats or Survivor Dogs, my books are similar to those (My books are just with dogs instead of cats).

Hello! Could you please look through the rubric for my assignment and see if my paper answers the questions well? Any corrections or tips are also greatly appretiated!

Rubric: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FdchCORrDH6m2mGGm8h5buUvmmVEQHJCG5vuBtIMUH4/edit?usp=sharing

Paper: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1m1ZuSjJzvBWlcX0QAqm7k9_vav7ls-UBYdL4Mbu1A8c/edit?usp=sharing

Hi,

I finished my first book. Novel about black heroes. both historic and new ones. I am thinking of making it into a series of books. But, I don't know if that will ever happen.

I'm searching for some feedback before I move forward with the book, and just general thoughts from potential beta readers. My main worries are with pacing, plot, and whether the story can be easily followed.

Please note that I cannot pay much compensation. Not looking for anything professional, just general feedback. Comment or DM if you're interested, thank you!

Hi,

I started working on a novel a while ago and have finished drafting the first part. Titled Project: Destiny, the narrative follows a girl named Destiny, who wakes up far from home with no memory of who she is. She comes to learn that she has been missing for two years. When she returns to a 'home' that she doesn't recognize, she is greeted not with warmth; instead she is met with the echoes of her past, and secrets between the walls that haunt her. A girl named 'Tacerys' finds Destiny and claims to be one of her old friends--although her presence appears to be much more sinister. Each chapter alternates between the past and present, 'before and after' Destiny lost her memories.

So far I have only written the first section, which is 9 chapters and only 16k words long. I'm searching for some feedback before I move forward with the story, and just general thoughts from potential beta readers. My main worries are with pacing, plot, and whether the story can be easily followed.

Please note that I cannot pay compensation. Not looking for anything professional, just general feedback. Comment or DM if you're interested, thank you!

Hello, 

Thank you for allowing me to rewrite the assignment.  I am currently checking with Dr. C to see if there are any other classes I can use in place of xxxx toward my master’s degree.  If there are no other classes that I can use, I will rewrite the paper.  

I would like to inform you that I took xxx in 2011 with Dr. smile. He was a wonderful professor, and honestly I cannot see him requiring me to write an unnecessary paper to revalidate the class. I have been working in my field for over 10 years. If I have remembered or forgotten anything from the xxx, it is irrelevant. My job will not change if I am awarded a master’s degree, only my salary, and believe me, the change in salary is minimal! I do not see a purpose for writing a paper to demonstrate if I have skills or not.  I have never used these skills in the past ten years, and will likely never use them for the rest of my career, but if that is what I need to do to earn a miniscule raise, I will play the game and give it another try.  

Also, I needed to revalidate two other classes prior to xxx and after speaking on zoom with the professor for 5 minutes, they had no issues revalidating those courses. 

Thanks in advance.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kIlFHIiorOikjdkdTzdnu4wgM6TyH9NZzNe2sbjrIpQ/edit?usp=sharing

Hi, this is my first time using this subreddit. I am currently a high school Junior however my school does have College Credit Plus classes, and I am in Writing 1. I have a critical analysis that I need to print out tomorrow, my teacher says I need to stop worrying and just write because she says I am good, but I still worry. Especially since she says she can no longer proofread them for us. I also did not want to share this on Google Docs because I really don't like sharing my name on the internet so I'm very sorry for the inconvenience and I hope it's still okay to be posted. If it looks fine just how it is, fantastic, if there are small things that's fine, and things that you believe could improve the paper a lot would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for the yap! :)

My Name

Teachers Name

Writing 1

24 October 2024

“Fremont High School” Critical Analysis

A proper education is essential to a successful life. However, it can be hindered when that education is not sufficiently facilitated due to problems such as poverty. In 2005, author, activist, and educator, Jonathan Kozol wrote *The Shame of the Nation: The Restoration of Apartheid Schooling in America.* Within the book, Kozol wrote a section titled “Fremont High School” where he presented information about the various issues of Fremont High, a Los Angeles school. The article's main goal is to highlight how poorly funded and improperly run schools can harm students' education. Kozol does this by using numerous quotes from the various Fremont High students and teachers. He also uses many descriptive phrases to create clear mental images of what occurs in the school, as well as using multiple pictures throughout his writing. Kozol’s writing effectively draws attention to how poorly funded and improperly run schools can negatively affect the education of young students.

Kozol establishes the basic description of the school within the very first paragraph. He informs the readers of the student population, which is in the thousands with the number of students attending around 3,300. Then using a multitude of descriptive sentences and photos Kozol paints a vivid picture of how Fremont High is poorly maintained. He uses a variety of quotes from teachers and students to help explain how the school is run. One of the major issues that was brought up by one of the students is the bathrooms within Fremont High School. The student interviewed explained the many issues with the restrooms and how the lack of clean and workable bathrooms negatively impacts the dignity of the learners at Fremont High. This is one of the many examples Kozol effectively uses in his writing. Kozol's writing discusses many issues and his piece does a great job of making the reader think about how education is damaged when it is stricken by poverty.

To start, Kozol is able to display his main idea well through the support he uses. Within the article “Fremont High School” Kozol uses many reliable and credible sources of information. The main sources are quotes from those who attend Fremont High and those who work at the school. The quotes he uses help the reader understand the issues with the school in a way that the reader can understand and empathize with. For example, one of the students Kozol interviewed was a girl named Mireya. She discussed many of the issues with the schooling at Fremont. One of the problems she was very passionate about was how she was placed into sewing classes in the previous year and now she was placed into hair-dressing, both of which she did not have a say in. This led her to say, “I don’t *want* to take hair-dressing. I did not need sewing either. I knew how to sew. My mother is a seamstress in a factory. I’m trying to go to college. I don’t need to sew to go to college. My mother sews. I hoped for something else.” (Kozol, 6) The use of this quote demonstrates the unfairness of Fremont High’s schooling. With the way the school is run the classes fill too quickly meaning those who want to take special classes like APs cannot. Not allowing students to take those elective classes damages their education, making it harder for the pupils to get a higher education or a good career which many people need for a successful life. The second way Kozol uses support is his use of photographs. Within his article, only two images are used. The first is an image of the front sign of the school which states “Fremont High, The Friendly School.” The use of that photo shows the misleading title of the school early in Kozol’s article before the reader knows much about the school. The second picture is an image of the school from a distance, with a steel fence in the foreground. This photo makes the school seem like a prison, with the students being stuck in the school guarded by a large fence. These photos paint a negative image of the school in the reader's mind. These first-hand accounts from the students of Fremont High and the photographs included draw a lot of attention to how inadequately run and poorly funded schools have a detrimental impact on the education of students, especially those who need that education.

The second way Kozol draws attention to how poverty in schools negatively affects students is his appeal to the reader. He creates an emotional appeal by using a mix of facts and descriptions in his writing. Kozol gives information and details about the school in a way that causes the reader to feel sympathetic toward the many kids who must endure the school's poor conditions. At times Kozol writes in a way that makes the reader feel as if they are experiencing the issues at Fremont High. This emotional appeal is created mostly by the sources and information he uses. The quotes from the students appeal to the reader, especially those who may have experienced something similar in their lives. Another way Kozol creates emotional appeal and a sense of sympathy, and depending on the reader, possibly empathy, is how he describes the school. Describing the physical properties of a location when telling information about it is very important and how writers do so will affect how important that information will be. In Kozol’s writing, he describes the characteristics of the school building in detail. The many details contained in Kozol's writing such as the descriptions of the large eight-foot fence adorned with spikes that surrounds the school building, or the unclean classrooms that were converted from storage closets. The large amount of detail that was poured into these descriptions makes the reader understand the poor conditions of the school, and that appeals to the reader’s emotions. The use of multiple quotes from students and descriptions of the school's vile conditions captures the reader’s emotions and is a successful tactic in bringing attention to the problems that arise when education is not properly funded and run.

The third and final reason Kozol successfully draws attention to the adverse effects of schools that are ineffectively run and improperly funded is the authorities and the outside information that he uses. He uses several different outside sources throughout the article all of which are credible. For example, within the first paragraph, Kozol uses descriptions of the school from the *Los Angeles Times*. Those magazines have a very high credibility and a high level of factual reporting. The other major authority Kozol uses is the teachers of Fremont High School. He uses information from the facility that works there to further his main point. The teachers know the students and the school better than anyone which means they can provide factual and trustworthy information on the issues occurring at Fremont High. Kozol also includes information from multiple different records including court and school records. For example, in the article, Kozol states, “maintenance records of the school report. “Rat droppings” are recorded “in the bins and drawers” of the high school’s kitchen.” (Kozol, 4) The use of these records demonstrates very credible information. They are not rumors spread by students that may or may not be true, but rather factual records kept by the school. Kozol is extremely successful in proving the credibility of his article because of the authorities and the trustworthiness of the sources that are used in his writing. This use of authority in Kozol’s article helps the reader trust the information that is being presented and therefore is an essential key in drawing attention to the issue of poverty in schools and how it affects students educationally.

Kozol’s 2005 piece, “Fremont High School” is an article that is extremely effective at bringing needed attention to how schools that are deficiently funded and poorly run can have a detrimental influence on the education of students. He does this through the many pieces of evidence and support that he uses in his writing, including quotes and photographs. Kozol also appeals to the reader by using descriptive phrases very well to create an emotional appeal that furthers his main point. He also uses credible outside sources and authorities which causes readers to understand his claim and to believe it. Kozol uses all of this information in a very skillful manner which leaves the reader pondering poverty's impact on education which was Kozol’s goal. The conversation about poverty needs to be happening constantly. It is a major issue in the world today and without articles like Kozol’s bringing attention to this problem, it would make little progress in being fixed. Poverty in the school system only leads to negative things, society must work together to resolve these issues. After all, the students of today are the doctors, scientists, and politicians of the future. 

My coworker feels like she got fired unfairly and got our other coworker to write a complaint that my manager and 4 other coworkers are bullying him for being disabled (I promise we are not). I’ve been told I’m a horrible writer so anything will help!!!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1o5oShPQle_n0flzCSAuqdz5HuAmfFUiWi0WNpV29PVs/edit

What clubs, sports, programs, and/or service opportunities have you been involved in and what positive impact have you had on each?

A sport and service opportunity I've been involved in and impacted is swimming. Since I was a child around 5 years old, l've been swimming, I've done so because my whole life, I've felt as though it's my mission to swim because of my relatives, who were born from penurious mexican descent, some of them who had never seen a pool never had the opportunity to learn how to swim, but I, who was born into a home where we were able to afford to go to a pool, I've been able to learn how to swim and I remember growing up and teaching every relative I could how to swim, doing so filled me with jubilation. I felt as though I was doing the best service opportunity I could, teaching those who never had the opportunity to learn. Ever after that I ensued my passion and I currently do competitive swimming.

I currently make $23/hr and am asking for a 4$ increase. Please tell me if there is anything you would change or add. Should I ask for more in case my boss wants to counter offer?

Thank you for taking the time to read this and respond.

Dear ****,

I hope this message finds you well. I want to start by expressing my heartfelt gratitude for being such a wonderful mentor and boss. You not only created this position for me, but you also recognized my potential when others might not have. Your support and encouragement have made a profound impact on my professional and personal life. Since joining the team in June 2022, I have truly loved working for you, and the sense of belonging you’ve fostered in our team has made every day a joy. I genuinely appreciate how you’ve made me feel valued and empowered, and I see a bright future ahead as we continue to grow together.

In my role, I have taken on significant responsibilities that I believe have contributed to our team's success, including:

• Onboarding new agents weekly/biweekly, setting them up in the CRM, and managing their presence in GroupMe.
• Running the Policy Outreach Campaign, where I lead a small team to improve client retention and collect referrals, passing them out to the original writing agent.
• Monitoring team members during their shifts on Zoom, ensuring they meet their responsibilities, and addressing client needs.
• Assisting clients with payment types, helping them lower their coverage amounts to make services more affordable, and contacting clients for missed payments as part of our NTO campaign to improve retention.
• Filling out FWGs for clients, which required access to agent e-apps, until we streamlined this process.
• Keeping track of **** and *****'s hours for payroll.
• Running nightly reports to send to the team, helping them stay on top of their numbers for the week.
• Looking up agents' daily sales in the CRM to record the details for our policy outreach campaign.
• Recording agents' daily commissions from the MGA report, as well as daily and weekly bonuses, to track each agent's income.

This past year, I have personally helped save over $77K in annual premiums, and I continuously support our agents by answering questions and assisting with policy changes. My role has grown significantly, and I am dedicated to enhancing our team's overall success.

With all of this in mind, I would like to humbly request a pay increase of $4 per hour, bringing my hourly rate to $27. This adjustment would help reflect my contributions to the team and support my family, especially given the rising cost of living. For the next four years, my income alone will be supporting my family of three, as my fiancé is in school full-time. As a 1099 employee, I do not receive the same benefits as a W-2 employee, and I currently lack a 401(k) to save for my family’s future. This raise would enable me to start planning for long-term financial stability until my fiancé can contribute to our income.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my request. I would love to discuss this further with you and hear your thoughts. I truly appreciate your support and everything you do for our team.

Warm regards, 

*******

Hi everyone, I'd just like to ask for someone to proofread 2 of my prepared speeches for class because I'm not so confident in my writing as someone whose first language isn't English.

[1] https://docs.google.com/document/d/13mZHhHHP2H31GGvTRwHvIcZS1srUTjlNxdtTflDXPBo/edit?usp=drivesdk

[2] https://docs.google.com/document/d/13mZHhHHP2H31GGvTRwHvIcZS1srUTjlNxdtTflDXPBo/edit?usp=drivesdk

I wrote an erotic fantasy story that is just about 9000 words. I would like help with proofreading and copy editing. I have to emphasize that this story is very smutty so only reach out if you’re comfortable with that.

Hi everyone!

Could you kindly have a look at my letter of intent (LOI) for my residency program? It is asking for the following:
Please provide an essay describing the following (max. 750 words / 4000 characters):

• Your reason for applying for a residency program
• Describe your attributes and life experiences that will make you a successful resident
• How does a residency program align with your career goals?

"When I look in the mirror now, I see a life-long student. My goal is to move up from where I am and to become an outstanding pharmacist that is remembered by his patients, family and team for his selflessness dedication and service to others in improving and leaving a good mark in everyone’s lives. As Albert once said “What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal”. A legacy I am hoping to leave of being committed to never failing those who I am entrusted with taking care of. Clinically, I am somewhat timid, and not really sure of what I know. I am little uncomfortable on rounds, unsure of when to make an intervention or speak up if I notice a drug issue and when to let it slide. I am interested in building my autonomy to know by the end of this residency, in any given scenario, whether in a solid organ transplant ward of a hospital, or diabetes clinic, how to be adaptable. The autonomy I am hoping to get out off this residency will help me develop a skill set and ability to teach myself any clinical scenario in any clinical area, so that when the opportunity comes, I can take advantage of it. I want to see myself as a confident practitioner by the end of this residency by learning as much as I can from my team. Being a resident means spending a lot of time in your institution which will allow me to hopefully to develop lasting friendships and to be an integral part of the family.

I find myself to be resilient. Despite going through many hardships in the last two years of losing my father, being rejected entry into Malaysia and forcibly withdrawing from my long planned MPharm degree pathway, health collapse and the delay in processing of my Canadian’s MPH study permit resulting in being three weeks behind of class, and coping with culture shock, I was able to manage myself to go back on track, and to successfully pass my PEBC Evaluation exam in only 17 days of studying during the Fall break, and putting myself into this challenge and remembering myself, how far I have come and now it is the time to show how much effort I am willing to exert to reach my long planned goal, since my 2nd year, of becoming a pharmacy resident. My father was a product of an environment that fostered unhealthy lifestyle of smoking and prolonged desk sitting and eventually falling a victim of many comorbidities. Studying abroad in Egypt, and not being aware of his health status that was declining and inappropriately managed. Upon graduation, and coming to the realization of how different the outcomes would have been for my father who two months later had died of pulmonary embolism secondary to a diabetic foot infection and heart failure, I realized, how imperative it is to advocate against negligent care and to serve each patient the most optimal care. Wisdom for me is not the product of schooling, but the process of acquiring it. I am ever hungry for new knowledge. I am to remember why I have endured all that I have so far and never forget the impact I will be having on countless patients and their families. I hope by the end of time, I would have unconditionally given what I have learned throughout my journey of life for the greater good of all mankind.

I want to develop a skillset, but I am not sure where the field of pharmacy is going in 5 years. I know It has to be adaptable to the market needs. Even in the past few years, pharmacy has grown with immunizations and collaborative practice, and potentially becoming provider status. As the profession is growing, I need to develop the mindset and ability to teach myself grow alongside it. Being a resident in your institution will allow me to dive into the clinical practice. Additionally, a residency will pave the way for me to be a successful clinical pharmacy leader in Iraq by transferring my Canadian residency experience and modernizing pharmacy practice by implementing quality improvement projects and renovations to pharmacy department.

-F.J"

Thank you!

Hi Reddit!

I'm currently working on a fantasy novel that I'm really passionate about, and I'm looking for someone who could help me with copyediting. The book is part of a larger series called Echoes of the Elemental War, and it features a world where dinosaurs and humans coexist in the modern era, with the story following an adventure filled with ancient mysteries and mythical dragons.

What I need:

• Copyediting: I’m looking for someone to help with grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, and overall flow to make the writing as polished as possible.
• Fantasy Enthusiast: If you love the fantasy genre, that’s a huge bonus! Familiarity with similar genres will help you understand the tone and pacing of the story.
• Attention to Detail: I want to ensure the story reads smoothly and doesn’t have any awkward phrasing or confusing passages.

If you’re a writer, editor, or just someone who enjoys helping fellow authors improve their work, I’d love to collaborate with you! I’m open to discussing terms for compensation if needed, or if you’re simply looking for a fun creative project, I’d be super grateful for your time.

Please feel free to comment or send me a message if you’re interested or have any questions.

Thank you so much for your time!

So I've been all over the place with this essay since I've been treating this as a research essay and not a literary opinion essay and I need a lot of help. I went to my college's writing studio and they helped a lot and the brutal feedback I got from my professor also helped. I've made a lot of revisions to try and fix as much as she's said and I would like for her to see what I've done but she doesn't respond to emails. I need someone here to help as this thing is worth a lot and I don't trust my eyes right now. Here's the essay link https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jjpg70CVqW8C8bR08G3KxlSvihgMH_z8Y_1e5Ex-feE/edit?usp=sharing (took the necessary out to remain anonymous) and here's her checklist:

Do you have a left-margin heading with your name, my name, the course, and the date written out?

1. Do you have a right-margin heading with your last name and page number on each page?
2. Do you have a creative title for your essay and are all important words in your essay title capitalized as they should be?
3. Is the first line of each paragraph of your essay indented ½ inch?
4. Does the first sentence of each paragraph serve as a topic sentence and set the tone of the content for the whole paragraph?
5. If your essay has a direct quote from a secondary source, do you follow the direct quote with a parenthetical citation?  Example: According to one observer, “The wildfires were terrible” (Lincoln 229).
6. Does the period always correctly follow the parenthetical citation after each of your direct quotes? Example:…(229).
7. If you are citing from another source (s), do you have essay titles placed in quotation marks? Example: “The Inferno”
8. Do you have book and film titles placed in italics? Example: Between the World and Me
9. Have you correctly only capitalized words that are official proper nouns in your paper?
10. Have you checked the proper MLA format on the Purdue Owl website for readings that you have placed on your Works Cited?
11. If you are quoting poetry, are you using poetic slashes, ( / ) to indicate line breaks?
12. If you are quoting poetry, have you remembered that poetry is cited by line number, NOT page number, in your parenthetical citation?
13. Have you made sure that your paper does not have any sentence fragments?  Pulling up weeds.  vs. Jared was pulling up weeds.
14. Have you checked your sentences for subject-verb agreement errors. Jared have four apples. vs. Jared has four apples.
15. Have you checked your formatting on the Purdue Owl MLA formatting website? https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/mla_style/mla_formatting_and_style_guide/mla_works_cited_electronic_sources.html
16. Read your essay aloud as a final proofreading exercise.

Basic prompt: This assignment asks you to recall one "moment" of your life that expresses a broader significance, or that is somehow exemplary of a longer story, or a larger truth about you.

For example, your essay could narrate the minutes in a doctor's office waiting for the door to open. Through this recollection, you could convey the fear or the hope you experienced and that you tend to experience even beyond this one doctors visit.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XUFQJnBGo1JaDMGWftl7Vr6LgRVF8k43sIcFhNINAqM/edit?usp=drivesdk

Hello!!!! This is pretty much my first time writing a real story- so I just PLEASE wanted any and all feedback/criticism on the actual story, the title, the format, the plot, etc.

Warning: there is a tiny bit of cursing and a little bit of suggestiveness.

The plot: in the magical Kingdom of Serelith, Sana, an adept healer and baker, infuses her pastries with spells for entertainment. Her tranquil life is disrupted when Ash, a powerful prince from a faraway land, crashes into her life. Ash is searching for an ancient relic- the Heartstone, which is rumored to be the only thing to stop a monstrous creature-the Devourer, from ravaging the lands. His search leads him to Sana, whose familiar is rumored to possess the Heartstone, not realizing that fate has just spun its threads around them both.

Here is the link to my story:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1RCItjpKA3B2UwvMHQ0k3uteg6H6eSYj7fOJimQg9CyA/edit?usp=sharing

Feel free to comment whatever you want and be as honest as possible!!

Thank you so much!!!! :)

Prologue of a story

Title : Dusk of eclipse

Genre: Mystery, scifi

Word count: 829

Feedback: General impression, feedback on writing style(this is my first time writing a narrative story)
PS: this is only the prologue for a story that I have been thinking and planning for awhile, would like to know if the hook is strong enough to make readers want to know more. Appreciate every piece of feedback

Slow, steady steps were taken as I scanned my surroundings carefully, picking apart every piece of information with all five of my senses, determined to not miss any details. I was close, this close to finally catching up to him, only to lose him at the very end yet again. I didn't want to, no, couldn't lose him, not now, not after all this time. How? Just how is he doing this, evading me time and time again, it was as if he knew my every move. But thats impossible, our plans were only finalised right before the operation, theres no way, there simply wasn't.  Thoughts of my teams possible betrayal were dismissed as quickly as they came. I couldn't afford to start doubting them, nows just not the time. Taking just a quick moment to clear my my head of all such distractions, I focused at the task at hand, anything else can be handled later on. 

As I closed my eyes in an effort to calm down, silence befell. A step, a single, soft step that was all too obvious in this creepy silence, there he was. Rushing for my closest cover, I drew my revolver. I wasn't the only person aware of the other's location, odds are he had just a good of an idea of my location, if not better. The rustling sound of movement only confirmed my suspicions, I could now pinpoint a more or less accurate location of my target. Steadying my aim, I took a deep breath. The thought of firing a potentially lethal shot made me hesitate, albeit only for a slight moment. Boom, the all so familiar sound of gunfire rings. Before I could even begin to process the moment, he fired back multiple shots. Adrenaline pumped, and my head cleared up in an instant. Almost as if in a trance, I maneuvered throughout my surroudings while firing an occasional shot back. My muscle memory from all my training and drills kicked in. It was just like then, except my life was really at risk now, something that I'm sure hasn't quite kicked in yet, and I'm planning to end it before it does. I can't afford to be afraid, can't afford to hesitate, I need to finish this before my mind fully catches up to the stakes of the current situation. 

Shots were exchanged, mine barely missing everytime while his grazes me ever so slightly. Every bullet seems to just barely hit me, as if he is purposely aiming it that way. That's absurd, and the very fact that I'm even considering this goes to show how my mind is yet again wavering. Im running out time, both my mental and physical fatigue are starting to catch up, I need a plan of action, and fast. Subconsciously grabbing onto my chest, I felt something, a walkie talkie. I had completely forgotten about it, a newbie mistake indeed, and a potentialy fatal one. Turning it on and notifying my teammates of my current location, a wave of relief hit. The thought of no longer being alone in this made me calm down, though perhaps too much. 

A second, no, perhaps only a fraction of a second, that was all he needed. As I lay on the ground bleeding out, he slowly walked towards me. He opened his mouth, though at this point I could no longer fully comprehend what he was saying, I imagine that he was probably mocking me. Panic came first, though it went away surprisingly quick, then came frustration, and anger. Everything we did, and this is how it ends? And look at this guy, he isn't even taking me seriously, all the while I'm here about to lose my life. As the sore loser I was, I refused to take this lying down. Mustering the last of my strength, I fired. 

Ah, it missed. The last shot of my life, and I've once again failed. As I thought that, I see him holding his eye in anguish. It seems like it wasn't a complete failure, at least I could inflict some sort of injury on him. That was enough to make me feel just a slight bit of accomplishment. As my eyes closed, I stared blankly at him. The look of pain, panic and fear, seeing these somehow made me feel like I won, despite being the one on the floor bleeding out. He kept shouting and kicking me, saying things that I can't imagine are good. Then, he calmed down and glazed into the sky, only to then freak out even more. What's up with this guy? I'm the one dying here you know. Curious, I looked up to where he was staring at, it was the moon. Ah, I didn't ever realise, but the moon, its so bright and pretty isn't it.

As the moonlight reflects upon me, I opened both my eyes to fully appreciate one last time, before darkness enclosed on me.

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Strange Brain: A life with books and a blind mind

I had never been a big reader, sure I read books and I enjoyed them but not the same way my classmates did, or even my sister. She loves to read, she can consume books as if it's breathing. I liked to collect books almost like I enjoyed the idea of reading. The books I read wouldn't be fantasy like my sister's. I wouldn't read romance like my friends. Reading wasn’t fun. I did it because I had too, not because I wanted to. I never understood what people meant when they said they would “be in a world of their own”. It was just harder for me. Now this isn't to say that I couldn't read. I read quite well. The difference was, even though I could understand the words, I just couldn't enjoy them. Growing up I was considered a “gifted kid” . I read chapter books when my peers were still looking at pictures. The problem arose when I switched schools. O Have you ever been told to close your eyes and picture something? Maybe it was a person or a place or maybe you were told to picture yourself doing something? Well, so was I as far back as I can remember I've always had people tell me to picture stuff and to imagine. I never really understood completely. It was just one of those things that I didn't understand. I would always ask my friends why they liked a book and a lot of the time the answers were pretty similar, mostly it was because it was a whole different world where they could escape from reality and live in the Kingdom of their story books, once again I would never understand even when I would ask them to explain, they never understood and I would leave with more questions than answers

O I went to Discovery School Of The Arts, it's a lovely school in Victorville CA, and our mascot was the knights, it was absolutely everything I wanted. It was wonderful and I thrived. I was encouraged to read and grow, no teacher told me I couldn't read, I had friends, and I was happy . However in the third grade I switched schools to Sitting Bull Academy. It is a public school in Apple Valley CA, the mascot was the bears and it was next to a dirt lot so when the wind blew the campus was covered in a dust cloud of despair. I hated Sitting Bull Academy, the kids were mean, my teachers didn't care , and worst of all the teacher didn't let me read chapter books. The school did this program called AR reading, basically you read a book and took a test assuming you passed the test you got points. Every semester you had to reach a certain number of points, because of this my teacher prioritized the short books that were easy and could get points faster. This absolutely ruined reading for me, it was already harder for me but then i lost the ability to read books i wanted. On top of the bullying my life was miserable. This continued into the 4th grade. My teacher was Mrs Green. She was a nice lady, she was tall and had curly red hair, freckles, and she always wore dresses. Especially blue, and green ones. She knew I hated reading and didn't force me to. I appreciated her greatly. One day in the 4th grade Mrs. Green announced the bookfair was coming to school on friday, i was not pleased, the bookfair meant i got to go to the library on upper campus and pretend to be interested in the random books that were considered popular at the time and watch the rich kids get all the random toys and brag for the next week when they broke them. I went home that day and told my parents about the book fair. They were interested and said they gave me money to buy a book. I was excited because the new Dork Diaries book had just come out and I wanted to get it. O The reason I bring this up is because I could never relate to these people I could never picture stuff in my head I could never escape to a world of my own when I read.I always thought I was normal and maybe it's something you just learn so I practiced for hours on end trying to teach myself how to be normal. I would wear myself out where I would be absolutely exhausted so that when I fell asleep I could go right into REM sleep so that I could dream at night, but it never worked. I would sit with my eyes closed trying to picture something as small as an apple, but I never could. I read articles and research, I watched documentaries and videos just trying to learn how I could picture stuff in my head, but I never did. I admit I was disheartened, maybe even depressed. I just could not understand what was wrong with me.

After a while I just sort of gave up, never really forgetting because it was something out of aware of but I stopped expecting my brain of just do something, a few years went by and in my freshman year of high school at the end of the year when I finally got to go into in person learning after covid I had this teacher her name was Mrs. Delotti, she was an older woman with dark brown hair and gray streaks from age , you could tell she wasn't a young rookie teacher partially because of how she acted, she was Stern and disciplined, but she also was understanding and cared. She had wrinkles on her face even though she was only probably in her early fifties. They were the kind that you get from teaching for 20 years, all around Mr Delottie with a good teacher. One day in our class probably about a week from the end of the school year she was having us talk about something interesting about herself and I said that I couldn't picture stuff in my head, a lot of those things were shocked I had to elaborate like six times you would have thought I have told them something life-changing like that I had three arms or something (I don't). We moved on from a topic but it made me start thinking again about why. so that night I restarted my search to understand my brain. It was a lot easier to find an answer in 2021 compared to when I was searching in 2017. I found this journal talking about a condition of the brain called Aphantasia. Prof. Adam Zeman a lead researcher in mind blindness, and responsible for the discovery and naming of the condition stated that “Aphantasia refers to the absence, or near-absence, of imagery, like the inability to visualize things that are not currently in our presence while fully awake” (Zeman 2024) “Aphantasia mainly affects the ability to form images on purpose (e.g. in response to a specific instruction like ‘picture an apple’). It may also affect the ability to form images spontaneously (e.g. automatically visualizing a scene while reading a novel). Imagery in dreams or on the verge of sleep is often preserved”, But not always. (Zeman 2024) It describes me perfectly. It's basically just the complete lack of an inner eye meaning that I can't see stuff or hear stuff in my head. I was so excited about what I had learned that I couldn't wait to tell them. That night I let them know what I had learned, my mom didn't understand all the way because she could see pictures of her head so when I tried to explain it to her it just didn't make sense which is understandable. however to my surprise I learned that my dad is the exact same way. he also can't picture stuff or hear stuff in his head.Easy to say I was shocked because that just adds to the list of random stuff that I inherited from my father.I won't hold it against him though because technically he also doesn't have a say in the matter. “Aphantasia may be congenital, even if identified in adulthood, or acquired, because of neurological or psychiatric injury or disorder.” (Zeman 2024)

O When Friday came around and we sat down in class and we started the work for the day. Mrs. Green said that we would go to the book fair after lunch. The day went by without much craziness going on, lunch was bland and tasted like dirt but I didn't care. After lunch we started the walk from our classroom to the upper campus. It wasn't far but I could feel the rock in my shoe probably from recess. I also snuck a piece of gum and I was enjoying the minty flavor. As we walked into the bookfair Mrs Green gave the normal speech about being respectful and not touching all the books unless you were going to buy them. Finally she let us go inside and a bunch of people swarmed to the dork diaries section so I decided I would wait before going to get a copy. I wandered around for a bit looking at books but none of them really looked interesting. By the time I finished looking I saw that the dork diary section was clearing up so I went over to get a copy. I grabbed one and looked at the price. It was $10. I was excited because my parents gave me $15. I grabbed the book and was going to go to check out, maybe even get a toy with the leftover money. O Learning about aphantasia answered a lot of questions for me, and cleared up a whole lot of misunderstanding,But I think one of the biggest things that I had answered was why I didn't like books very much. The books I read were very niche or historical fiction and just in general something that I could look up and see photos of to better understand. The reason I like those books so much was so that I could picture the world just like everyone else, just in a different way. That's why I had such a hard time reading fantasy books but love the movies, nothing against them I just couldn't fully envelop myself in the story without a visual aid.

Learning about Aphantasia didn't change anything it didn't magically cure me, or give me some spectacular insight into my mind but it helped me understand and it let me get answers to my questions and for that I am very grateful because I was given the gift of Peace, I didn't have to worry anymore about unanswered questions like “ what if there's a tumor in my head”. I could still be myself was just an extra little insight ( it's also good for the” tell me three things about yourself questions”) O As I was walking something caught my eye, nothing fancy but there was a slight shimmer from the sun reflecting off of the window. I walked over to see what it was. To my surprise it was a book hidden in the corner, I don't think anybody noticed it but me. I pick it up to look at it. The cover was smooth, almost soft, the pages were crisp and had that new book smell, like I could smell the tree it came from, of course with a mix of the stench of a BO filled Library. I looked at the cover and saw it was called “Making Bombs For Hitler” by Marsha Skyrputch. I don't know why but I read the back and it was about this girl named Lida, she was a Ukrainian during World War 2, her family had died and she and her sister were taken by the nazis. She was sent to a labor camp, and separated from her sister who was much younger, the book was about her life in the camps, her friends especially Luka a ukrainian boy who was also taken, and the entire book she tries to keep hope, find beauty in the darkness and find her sister. For some reason I was hypnotized by this book. When i looked at the price i was sad to see it was $6 so i couldn't afford it, but then i saw a small sticker in the corner with the beautiful words “50% off” i was so excited because i could get it, but then i remembered that they said i could only get 1 book. But I decided I would get them both and just accept the consequences. I went up to the check out desk and the lady scanned the books and she told me my total was just over $14 after tax. I grabbed my books and headed outside. Later that night my parents asked to look at what I got.( I need to make a premise, my parents are nice people,they have big hearts and almost never get mad when I don't deserve it. They raised me well with solid values and always tried to protect me from the world. My dad is a bigger guy with tan skin and exactly like me, he's a truck driver, and is an all around great guy,the strong protector of our family both by blood and choice, in many ways he is my best friend. My mom is a nice lady she can be stubborn but She does her best to get everything done, and always wants things to go well. She usually takes on too much but only because she never wants to disappoint anyone.) I was worried that they would be mad at me for getting two. I handed the bag to my dad and sat down. I looked at him and just said sorry for getting two instead of one. My dad looked at me and in a very serious voice he said “I will never be mad at you for buying a book” I was relieved and showed him the books. That night I opened up my new book and I was hooked. Making bombs was beautifully written and grabbed my attention in a way that never happened before. Marshas way of explaining the characters and what was going on. I had never read a book like it before. Lidas story both broke my heart and filled me with pure joy. I couldn't understand how one small book could have such a hold on the emotions, and in the same way make you attached to all the characters, not just Lida. This book introduced me to a whole new world of reading in the form of Historical Fiction. It was a fake story, Lida wasn't real but what she went through was. It was all true. I could envelop myself in the past, truly put myself in her shoes, feel what she felt, and understand in a way I never had before. There was a study from george mason university saying “High-quality historical fiction develops readers' imaginations, offers insight, and validates the cultural histories and experiences of children”(La croix 2024) I ended up searching for the author. There was 2 more books in the series “the stolen girl”, and “the war below” it connect wonderfully and went even more in depth on the characters and what happened to them, even making you feel bad for the antagonist because she let us know that he wasn't this heartless person but a human being just like us, even though he did bad things. I was so moved by this book that I even went online a while later and emailed the author, even though I was sure she would never read it. I asked simple questions about it like her inspiration, and if she was going to add to the series, I asked who her favorite character was and why. I told her about myself, just how much I loved her book, and what it meant to me. To my surprise I got a response less than 24 hours later. Marsha replied to my email and said she was honored and appreciated my love for her book. And she answered all my questions. Several people from the creative writing and children's literature programs created a textbook used today and said “we came to the collective realization that we often turned to books as a way to make sense of our liminal experiences during girlhood. We considered the importance of historical fiction novels—“imaginative stories deliberately grounded in the facts of our past” (Galda et al., 2017, p. 286) (Lemahieu Glaws 2023) I have not had such a connection to a book since and I suspect I never will because what I experienced with that book was a once in a lifetime thing. I am now an avid reader, especially historical fiction and I owe that all to the book “Making Bombs For Hitler” a book ahead of its time and reminds me even now that there is always beauty in the darkness and that all things are possible if you just have hope.

Works Cited

Claws, A. L., Johns-O’Leary, E., & Leonhart, S. (2023). Girlhood Across Time: Portrayals of Girlhood in Award-Winning Historical Fiction Novels. Journal of Children’s Literature, 49(2), 30–41.

La Croix, L., Vesely, C. K., & Steen, B. F. (2024). Humanizing History: Using Historical Fiction Texts to Develop Disciplinary and Racial Literacies. The Reading Teacher, 77(5), 632–641. https://doi.org/10.1002/trtr.2281

Zeman, A., Monzel, M., Pearson, J., Scholz, C. O., & Simner, J. (2024). Aphantasia. Cortex. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cortex.2024.07.019

I started a while ago and have just got the urge to start again just wanting to see if the wrighting style is good and if there is potential thank you for any help. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ws2bL7WGjLC2K4tM218OBCy1sJ2ZJQngNeBax9XZISk/edit?usp=drivesdk

it's an opinionated article over contemporary fashion :)

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I'm writing a Zelda story featuring a relationship between Link and the Zora princess Ruto and need help with grammar, sentence structure and plot development. I can take harsh criticism. Need it to smooth out my mediocre skills. I am still writing it, but will only need assistance whenever I complete a chapter. Will set up a shared doc that I will post my latest content in

Hello all. I've published a cookbook and I'm getting a lot of views but very few sales. I'd appreciate some feedback. I'm self-published if it matters, and pretty much on my own. I need unbiased opinions. Thanks in advance.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XRjLBce5WMWYZYvUTDwywCB4FiMHxDhy2CTu8T-P9qQ/edit?usp=sharing

Hi everyone,

I'm a student from Poland and had to write an analysis about two books. I chose The Handmaids Tale and The Power, but it doesnt matter if you've read it or not.

I would love to have someone proofread it and tell me if the text is coherent and makes sense.

Details

• Topic: Power and Oppression in the books of Alderman and Atwood
• Length: 20 pages
• Type of Proofreading Needed: Especially overall text flow and readability, but if you'd want to do spelling and grammar that'd be awesome.

Thank you in advance for your time and assistance!