Despite my past issues with r34/hentai,I want to move on from this addiction. Is there anything that has helped you personally? For me,gaming or studying, can really help me beat cravings.

Hi all,

I've been clean since Jan 29th, 2025. Porn has ruined my vitality and energy. I didn't realize the effect it was having on me. I've had no motivation to go out or talk to girls, and it has increased my anxiety. I'm done, I've been an addict for 5 years now and I need to stop.

Happy Porn Free Saturdays Brothers ! YOU DID IT!!

Your porn journey starts or continues TODAY!

Celebrate this moment YOU ARE NOW FREE!

You do not know if the last time you looked at porn that it was the LAST time you looked at porn.

There's no possible way for you to know, the future is unwritten.

Or rather, waitnig for you to write it.

What do you want your porn free story to be my brothers?

Write it today!

So I stopped watching porn just after Christmas as I believe there are many benefits after years of watching.

I got married a year ago and my wife doesn’t have half the sex drive as I do.

My problem is at the minute is that due to not watching porn I feel I want sex more and more often and my wife most of the time can’t be arsed or stays up longer than me and I fall asleep after hoping she’d come up earlier and we could have sex.

In this scenario, to keep up with my drive is it better to watch porn or not?

Either way I see positives and negatives just wanted to get the general consensus.

Cheers

Libido and and any interest in women completely dead no matter how good-looking they are. Positive side is no interest in watching in porn as well.

Sexuality completely buried and dead.

What's your flatline experience?

Having a lot of temptation to look at porn, on a a few week streak for both nofap and not looking at anything sexual, need help.

I worked EXTREMELY hard for a time. I had a good amount of success for a time. About two years ago I allowed myself to slightly bend the rules and look at clothed women "that way" on social media. These mini relapses became more severe each time. The day before yesterday I allowed myself to go far enough down a social media lust trap that it might as well be considered porn. I am married and I love my wife and our situation, but let's face it I'm sexually gluttonous. I had enough but I struggle to get my mind away from "having more." I cannot believe I would bring this influence into a family. I'm terrified that I will continue down this road. I have decided that if I push the boundaries again I'm going to need to tell my wife about these struggles in order to get her involved and prevent this peeking behavior from continuing to escalate. That will be really hurtful to her.

I've really struggled with lust during my four years off of porn and I'm wondering if anyone here was able to fully let go of lust. I need to graduate from this holding pattern into stable sobriety.

I'm no longer in a relationship but when I was it felt like my partner was never really supportive. I understand I was lying and doing things I shouldn't have been doing, but I was trying to do better and thought it was being seen but then I wold relapse and he shamed me for it. Does anyone else have or had an unsupportive partner who shamed you when in the process of recovery? How did you deal with it?

I think we can agree most people would say there’s no real benefit to porn and in fact it hinders a lot of our daily lives. However, some would say it’s fine and have no problem with it. I’m a very logical thinker and I like hearing “evidence”, statistics, or even personal stories about things to further my belief in them. Personally I think porn is bad for me and I want to stop, but have awful self control and I think a good way for me to realize what it’s doing to me is to hear what others have to say about it. Here’s a little time line and information about my porn addiction.

I’ve been watching porn and masturbating constantly since I was 12 years old, I’m 24 now. Some days it’s 0 times, some days it’s multiple, but let’s average it out to once a day or slightly less. I’ve never dated anyone, but within the last 5 years I would hookup with random people on hookup/dating apps. I’ve always been anxious to do it and I still am, but I didn’t think I had an issue with watching so much porn and jerking off until one day I couldn’t get hard while initiating sex. Nothing was getting me hard during that interaction and I felt so ashamed. I felt like an absolute loser and promised myself to never watch porn again (this was a few months ago). I was dedicated and actually didn’t watch any for maybe 1-2 weeks, would start running more. I’m relatively fit and workout every day. As I ran more and stopped watching porn, I began to get much more aroused throughout the day without, sometimes I’d jerk off and sometimes I’d try to distract myself. It was going well until I fell into a depressive rut, and now I’m back again.

My best friend and I both struggle with this issue, but it’s kind of hard to keep each other accountable in not watching any because I’m gone for school for a few more months. I was wondering if anyone had any stories that made them instantly want to stop porn, or stories where they attempted multiple times and it turned out well, any comeback stories, or any tips at all in how to stop my addiction.

If so, I’d really appreciate it and thank you for taking time to read. <3

i have a girlfriend (i am muslim so we don't do anything together) i am acing all my uni classes and running my business while trying to find work

but after all that i am still watching and going to deeper hole everyday, i just can't help it i started watching some weird stuff

i need help

Idk what the temptation is for anyone else but here it is for me.

I’m entering day 3 sober and there it is: that little voice that tells me “Hey. It’s not that big of a deal. One peak at that video you like. It won’t hurt anyone and no one will know.”

Now that I’m in recovery, this is the first time I’ve taken time to examine it. It’s unbelievably silly and annoying. Just take a minute to watch smut, masturbate and what? Feel empty inside after a burst of dopamine.

I guess I just hope I can keep that clarity and perspective as I continue to get better. Good luck yall.

I can't stop watching porn. idk why but I'm always peaking at it. I've had this for 10+ years. This issue. I don't think I'll ever stop although I really want to. Do you guys have any tips?

I've tried installing blockers, even blocked porn with my isp but still find a way. It's so annoying and fkn my life up.

24m, been watching porn since I was about 11 but spent all of last year drastically cutting back my addiction. This year I cut out all avenues of porn which id convincing myself didn’t count as porn (think nudes etc)

Officially been porn free since the start of this year and feeling good! Had a small flatline but I’m hornier and harder than ever atm, hoping to keep seeing improvements.

Ig I’m writing this bc I’m happy with progress so far and wanted to share as encouragement.

We got this boys!

I have my exams this week. So i was focused on the preparation. So today was really easy. Hope this continues for a week. As i have exams for the next week. I’ll keep posting about my week.

Struggling a ton to not look at pornography pls help

You are trading momentary pleasure for a couple of days of brain fog, bleary eyes, social anxiety, depression, energy, mood….

I found the only way I can keep myself from keep consuming this visual drug is by paying for a website blocker that allows you to lock it so it’s impossible to unwind the block.

Install a porn blocker and download it on ALL of your devices.

I went 2 weeks but relapsed because I didn’t have this blocker installed on my ipad smh

Everyone always struggles and relapses because you keep the doors open to porn by not having a strong website blocker on anything that has access to the internet.

Willpower is a myth. Use tools to your advantage.

I've been exposed to this since I was a kid. Before I turned 30 (31F) I tried to really quit. But here I am, still struggling! in 24 hrs, I watched p-rn and mstrbated 4 times. I managed to not do it on December.

Will I ever be free from this! My max of no prn was like 3months

Well I didn't watch or anything but i masturbated. I wasn't even horny, i stood up, toched my penis, and it felt to good to stop. Erection was 85-90 percent standing, even though i wasnt aroused. I don't know, part of me tells me it's okay and natural, i wasn't watching porn, the other part tells me it might be harmful for my pied recovery process. I dont know what to feel.

The cool thing is, in these dreams I either shut the laptop before I full-on relapse or binge, or I relapse and then I close it and get right back on track. I'm glad that even in my lucid dreams, I'm recognizing the dangers of porn addiction and I'm sticking to my plan.

Hey everybody, take a second to post a congratulatory comment to the victors of the Stay Clean January challenge, listed below. 103 out of 483 original participants made it. that's 21%. Victors, feel free to post a comment with your thoughts about the month. Was there anything specific that worked to keep you clean? What advice do you have for the rest of us? Here are our 103 victors:

/u/15-cent

/u/4of4

/u/57471c

/u/Accomplished_Net1911

/u/AdamOfHouseClegane

/u/amadeo19

/u/artist_by_habit

/u/BlairRedditProject

/u/Boostard38

/u/CalmLyricist

/u/ceasparow

/u/CloseToTheHedge69

/u/Competitive-Wing-773

/u/CormenLeisersonRives

/u/Deep_Pudding2208

/u/Deeprohor220

/u/Dhesil

/u/Diamonds_are_Fake

/u/doing-my-best-daily

/u/DoubleFinding

/u/Duesentrieb97

/u/earthworld4

/u/EdvR_k

/u/Efficient_Cold6482

/u/endofdayze

/u/Environmental-Law670

/u/essmackd

/u/eternallyhopeful310

/u/Existing-Mirror2315

/u/ExoticBump

/u/Extra_Green_Genie

/u/Fed_Focus5

/u/foobarbazblarg

/u/FrogsUnion

/u/Ftcwarrior

/u/Full_Membership8207

/u/Future_Interaction

/u/G-nome420

/u/Glad-Veterinarian752

/u/GlumTradition5769

/u/gozura

/u/graeyyyscale

/u/H0meb0dy1980

/u/Halfeatenbananas

/u/Happy-Bagel-Man

/u/Haunting_Ad8342

/u/Helpful-Fuel7466

/u/Imafuckingidiot9911

/u/Independent_Yak_2421

/u/Kisanna

/u/KlutzyShower3759

/u/Lazy_aspirant_9001

/u/lichen_lycanthrope

/u/LifeShouldBeEasier

/u/LightBurden18

/u/LotsOFquestions777

/u/m4ki818

/u/majonezes_kalacs2

/u/Master_Grunt

/u/Maximum_Possible_499

/u/mizustyle

/u/mo_exe

/u/MrHappyGoLucky14

/u/Mrleibniz

/u/No-Worldliness7521

/u/No_Procedure2374

/u/No_Republic2240

/u/non_newtonian_jelly

/u/nyar_182

/u/ocotobelt

/u/ogidiamin

/u/Omni__king

/u/Outrageous-Showpiece

/u/Oxinoza

/u/Pantim

/u/phil_46-9

/u/pmmahajan2019

/u/Potential-Spell5504

/u/powergauge

/u/PurpleHaze1704

/u/QuitQuitQuitQuit

/u/Rainbow_Mika

/u/RDnamegenerator

/u/Right-Inspector1415

/u/RudolfGeyse

/u/SaLtYcHiPdUdE

/u/SebsAGZ

/u/Shockwave781

/u/Simple_Idea3536

/u/Small_Pass_9513

/u/SnooCalculations7186

/u/Spidersandbeavers

/u/SquashComplete2914

/u/sui_emendationem

/u/Takin_Action

/u/Tehpuuu

/u/TimfromB0st0n

/u/tiopatinhas95

/u/toemosdapfunk

/u/Turbulent_Fox_6080

/u/whimsical_ambition

/u/whoop2022

/u/zapata1954

Daily news: This is Saturday, February 1, the first day of the Stay Clean February challenge. We will no longer be accepting new signups. Good news! We will be be accepting late signups for the next 3 days. If you forgot to sign up for the February challenge, just leave a "sign me up" comment below, and I'll add you. Best of luck to everyone here!

Here's how this thing works:

• At the end of this post is a list of people who have signed up for the challenge, and who are still in the running. That means that they have not needed to reset because of a relapse or slip.
• Please check in with the group in the comments as often as you want! Feel free to share thoughts, feelings, experiences, progress, wisdom, encouragement and whatever else!
• IMPORTANT: if you relapse, please post a comment to that effect here and I will remove your name from the list. We will not judge you or shame you, we have all been there.
• If you have a "~" after your name, you have yet to check in on any update threads. If it is still there by February 15th, you will be removed from the list, in order to keep the numbers as realistic as possible.
• We will not be accepting any new participants, but even if you're not on the list, please feel free to check in in the update threads anyway! Also, stay tuned to catch the March thread!

Good luck!

For a chart of relapse data, check out this Google Spreadsheet.

Here are our 271 original participants:

/u/-psychoswapy123- ~

/u/1994JJ ~

/u/2ndroof ~

/u/4of4 ~

/u/57471c ~

/u/_de_novo ~

/u/Ej3000 ~

/u/AcademicBeach3446 ~

/u/Accomplished-Issue86 ~

/u/Accomplished_Net1911 ~

/u/Additional-Knee7744 ~

/u/Adventurous_Course88 ~

/u/Affectionate_Way_94 ~

/u/AffectionateShop4506 ~

/u/AgitatedStay5046 ~

/u/AlfuuuB ~

/u/AltruisticCoffeeMug7 ~

/u/amightymongoose ~

/u/AnomanderOW ~

/u/Antique-Cranberry525 ~

/u/Apollo5000 ~

/u/applicationturnip ~

/u/Appropriate_City_628 ~

/u/Aromatic-Law9352 ~

/u/Arroz_Campollo ~

/u/ASAPCream1 ~

/u/Astrospal ~

/u/Asuntara ~

/u/AxolotlDamage23 ~

/u/BackgroundBlack-RedR ~

/u/Badkaos ~

/u/Beginning-Cap7097 ~

/u/BeingMyBestEveryday- ~

/u/biggiantporky ~

/u/bigmeatsoldier ~

/u/Binge_pot ~

/u/BlairRedditProject ~

/u/Bluegenox ~

/u/BooksMusicandBL ~

/u/Bulky-Joke6969 ~

/u/Bunchofprettyflowers ~

/u/Business_Drummer_609 ~

/u/ButterYourOwnBagel ~

/u/cadmoo ~

/u/CalmLyricist ~

/u/CatsAndTarantulas ~

/u/ceoofxbox ~

/u/chuckyshartz ~

/u/Clean-Current-9448 ~

/u/CloseToTheHedge69 ~

/u/Commercial_Rip_1926 ~

/u/Complete-Cod-8371 ~

/u/Confident_Ratio_6531 ~

/u/cornholio2240 ~

/u/coyac_ ~

/u/Crash97y ~

/u/Creepy_You_4849 ~

/u/Cultural_Speaker6473 ~

/u/CurvingDive ~

/u/Cute-Method-8090 ~

/u/CyberpunkNomad13 ~

/u/D333VS ~

/u/darkaph ~

/u/Defiant-Image-6620 ~

/u/DemonSlayer_44 ~

/u/DependentMind6101 ~

/u/Dhesil ~

/u/djrosstheboss ~

/u/doing-my-best-daily ~

/u/dondecyousel ~

/u/DoubleFinding ~

/u/dynaboyj ~

/u/earthworld4 ~

/u/EdvR_k ~

/u/EffectGold9757 ~

/u/Environmental-Law670 ~

/u/Environmental_Food_9 ~

/u/EpisodicDoleWhip ~

/u/Existing-Mirror2315 ~

/u/ExoticBump ~

/u/Expensive-Film-4639 ~

/u/Extreme-You2977 ~

/u/Fed_Focus5 ~

/u/Few-Cherry27 ~

/u/Few-Inspector-8522 ~

/u/fightingcock71 ~

/u/fili-pinot-noir ~

/u/fontainedl ~

/u/foobarbazblarg ~

/u/Forsaken_Resort_3701 ~

/u/foundation_pollution ~

/u/Foxxyownz ~

/u/FreshBeginning303 ~

/u/Full_Membership8207 ~

/u/Futbuck1 ~

/u/Future_Interaction ~

/u/G-nome420 ~

/u/Giu_02 ~

/u/gozura ~

/u/graeyyyscale ~

/u/Grand-Bathroom-9682 ~

/u/gumpis ~

/u/H0meb0dy1980 ~

/u/h11ywdshufle ~

/u/hamanahamanahahaha ~

/u/Happy-Bagel-Man ~

/u/hatedopp ~

/u/Hot-Profession2791 ~

/u/ifThisWorks_WhyNot ~

/u/imlyingtoevery1 ~

/u/Independent_Yak_2421 ~

/u/Ineedthat300 ~

/u/Insane_Bucher ~

/u/Interesting-Day6496 ~

/u/InternetDry7338 ~

/u/Intrepid-Ad98 ~

/u/jacerrrr ~

/u/jammock5 ~

/u/jb_hustler ~

/u/Jobdb2001 ~

/u/jodinez33 ~

/u/jorgenalm ~

/u/Key-Car-7059 ~

/u/killswipe ~

/u/Kisanna ~

/u/kitty_p_23 ~

/u/la-mummy ~

/u/Last-Math2160 ~

/u/Lazy_aspirant_9001 ~

/u/LightBurden18 ~

/u/LL_alone ~

/u/Lopsided-Traffic4494 ~

/u/Luk3y_ ~

/u/LyonPaint ~

/u/lyrical_chaos ~

/u/m4ki818 ~

/u/madethos ~

/u/Main_Drink4503 ~

/u/MaleficentConqueror ~

/u/Mammoth-Science7836 ~

/u/mancunian105 ~

/u/ManyExplanation36 ~

/u/Master_Grunt ~

/u/Maximum_Possible_499 ~

/u/MC_GEORGE_COSTANZA ~

/u/Mediocre-Seaweed-130 ~

/u/MediumBat3925 ~

/u/MegaManX3mybeloved ~

/u/Meroveu1 ~

/u/metaI_guru ~

/u/Metanoia_1996 ~

/u/mizustyle ~

/u/mo_exe ~

/u/mountainChicken99 ~

/u/mr-biff ~

/u/MrHappyGoLucky14 ~

/u/My-Dark_Side ~

/u/Mysterious_Dig_3991 ~

/u/Neat_Dazzling ~

/u/Nibu-chan ~

/u/No-Address-5864 ~

/u/No-Maintenance-5258 ~

/u/No-Photo-4207 ~

/u/No_Ingenuity3078 ~

/u/None ~

/u/NONtoxic9 ~

/u/Normal_Cat1495 ~

/u/not_a_username_1 ~

/u/nuclear_pigeons ~

/u/NutherMai ~

/u/NutmegWolves ~

/u/Odd_Voice_1058 ~

/u/ogidiamin ~

/u/OJgotWorms ~

/u/Ok-Inspector-1251 ~

/u/Optimal-Apartment333 ~

/u/ororkin ~

/u/Otherwise_Ad7381 ~

/u/Outrageous-Showpiece ~

/u/Padmeister2646 ~

/u/Pantim ~

/u/PercentageSad5079 ~

/u/phil_46-9 ~

/u/Positive-Strength834 ~

/u/Potential-Spell5504 ~

/u/Powerful_Software_41 ~

/u/PurpleHaze1704 ~

/u/Puzzleheaded-Ant95 ~

/u/Quiet_Arugula_934 ~

/u/QuitQuitQuitQuit ~

/u/R2free ~

/u/Rainbow_Mika ~

/u/ranyin ~

/u/RealityAlternative27 ~

/u/RepresentativePea598 ~

/u/Responsible-Pool-323 ~

/u/RhinoM02 ~

/u/RjRotten22 ~

/u/RoughRoundEdges ~

/u/RudolfGeyse ~

/u/SacredGrower ~

/u/Sad-Particular9332 ~

/u/Salma10Mos ~

/u/SaLtYcHiPdUdE ~

/u/Sam36192 ~

/u/SarcasmOverlol ~

/u/SATM27 ~

/u/SavingsAd1794 ~

/u/ScottyResearch ~

/u/SebsAGZ ~

/u/secretskeezix ~

/u/Select-Low-1195 ~

/u/Senior-Technology-93 ~

/u/seso_1 ~

/u/ShadowR1der ~

/u/Shockwave781 ~

/u/Simple-Reception-319 ~

/u/Small_Pass_9513 ~

/u/Small_Seat_6144 ~

/u/Sn00zey_ ~

/u/SnooCalculations7186 ~

/u/SockSmall ~

/u/some_wookie ~

/u/Specific-Run7725 ~

/u/Spidersandbeavers ~

/u/Stefan3654 ~

/u/Successful_In_2022 ~

/u/sui_emendationem ~

/u/swayyquan ~

/u/Symantech ~

/u/symptum ~

/u/tehjoch ~

/u/Tehpuuu ~

/u/Temporary_Fish8530 ~

/u/Tenzlite69 ~

/u/Th3e_D4rk ~

/u/thatsmyginga ~

/u/TheLibertyLunatic ~

/u/Theminecraftgamer ~

/u/thinkerr97 ~

/u/Till_I_Collapse2121 ~

/u/TimfromB0st0n ~

/u/tiopatinhas95 ~

/u/toastarclan ~

/u/toemosdapfunk ~

/u/Top-Supermarket-3496 ~

/u/tothetopshawty ~

/u/TraditionFamiliar592 ~

/u/Turbulent_Fox_6080 ~

/u/UnexpectedBacon ~

/u/Upstairs_Cold_69 ~

/u/UsedIpodNanoUser ~

/u/Useful-Love-5725 ~

/u/Useful_Canary_4157 ~

/u/Valuable_Milk2741 ~

/u/Various-Time1815 ~

/u/VicariousLemur ~

/u/Weird_Mud3496 ~

/u/West_Veterinarian633 ~

/u/whimsical_ambition ~

/u/whoop2022 ~

/u/Windballmk4 ~

/u/WorldGood9260 ~

/u/Wrong-Ad-4809 ~

/u/YamGroundbreaking879 ~

/u/yepparan_haneul ~

/u/YoghurtNo8051 ~

/u/yourboiquirrel ~

/u/zapata1954 ~

/u/ZealousidealApple486 ~

/u/zylenxh ~

19F. Hello. Clean for 1 month 11 days now. Started November and had a relapse around end of December. Victim of COCSA(6-7) and a type of SA when a man followed me up along the stairs of my appt building pleasuring himself and grabbing my hand and asking me to touch(7). No one cared in both instances. Started at around 6-7 with hardcore right off. Yeah. Was a victim of parental neglect, later, at 10, it became torture abuse because my extreme porn addiction was found out. Had the money for therapy, my abuser just decided it was better to traumatize me to my core. As soon as I gained my phone back I used it as a coping mechanism as a result of it all. Along all the years I could go easily from 1 hour to 3 to then from 12(when I got a phone again) it got to 5 up to 17 hours. No, Im not joking. I was also extremely depressed for weeks sometimes so getting out of bed wasnt an option(my other caretaker would let me stay home and not attend school many times)but porn, as you might've guessed, was an easy way to get some dopamine. I attempted 2 times. In general, in my life I dodged death about 6 times. Most of the times I lamented it, I always resented my abuser for not aborting me. During the time of my torture I would pray to God to take me. I was also groomed online(figures) and had a habit of cybersex and exposing myself online. So what made me quit cold turkey? Last year, as a result of a traumatic breakup, I spiraled. I started off with engaging in sexual behaviour w a previous classmate I had, even though he had a girlfriend(I didn't sleep with him because I could never in all my life bring myself to sleep with someone I wasn't in a serious rship with, so even sexual contact outside of intercourse was extreme for me). Then in March, in a short amount of time I did a lot of mathematics*, enough for 3-5 people, my first, only, and last(I decided after) time. I never had interest in activities like this either. I suspect it contributed to damaging my already severely damaged brain and effects presented mainly with my porn use following it. I was also left with a verbal tic from that time so I'm almost certain thats not all it did. My porn use got worse, until I spiraled so much I traumatized myself, scared, and disgusted myself off it. Around September-October. I still had some profiles I'd use but I mainly used them to look at porn every now and then, wasn't really engaging in cybersex anymore. Later, in November, my now partner was sent a deepfake of me by some angry dude I angered on social media, and I had a panic attack. It was from a tiktok I made, I knew that, but either way it further woke me up. I deleted everything connecting me to porn soon after and decided to never even look again. It started setting in just how it could so easily just my entire life. I ended up confessing to my partner in December and they were hurt, understandably, but knowing me, my entire history, decided to stay and support me. I confessed to my caretaker as well and they were supportive as well and decided to finally send me to therapy, which I accepted. Was so wracked and still am with guilt I spent weeks bawling my eyes out in bed and wishing I got saved when I first got found out, instead of traumatized. I would take it all back now if I could. I'd do anything. I don't want to live my life wracked with this guilt and fear of any parts of my past somehow catching up. I'm really tired, but I won't go back to porn, ever. It rots your soul and mind, and the finality of escalation can bring you to go out and harm others, yourself included. I wish everyone could realize as a collective that normalizing it, normalizing degeneracy will only harm us.Our children. All I wanted was to live a normal life, and now it feels like it's too late, and I'm 19. If anyone reading this hasn't quit, do it now. Just do it. Or you'll end up not recognizing yourself anymore by the time you decide it was indeed harmful to you.

Im struggling with porn addiction need help on a good streak right now don’t want to lose it

TLDR: Hi guys, no one in my life knows how much or even that I struggle with porn, and masturbation and the shame and the guilt is getting way too much for me to bear. I feel worthless, and I’m tired of going about life acting like all is normal.

People ask if I’m alright, but I find it hard to tell them what I’m about to type here, and I always just suck it up, meanwhile the addiction is getting worse and worse, and my mental health is rapidly declining, life has no colour for me anymore since this is always on my mind.

Venting

Hi guys so I’m really in a bad space right now and just need to vent.

25M been addicted to porn since I was 12, been trying so hard to stop. It’s affected my sex life because I was using no lube to wank and I ended up getting cuts on my foreskin that constantly reopen for the past 2-3 years.

My foreskin tears easily and because of this I changed my technique and now my penis shaft has so many ugly wrinkles.

I have a steady girlfriend for the past 5 months and things have been going great, but my foreskin tears everytime we have sex and I have to lie to her and just suck up the feelings of disappointment and shame because of this.

Sometimes I can have sex and the foreskin doesn’t tear, but just yesterday the cuts opened again and this time it was deep. It takes about 2 weeks to heal and I’m tired of going about my day and putting a mask and acting like this isn’t the biggest fuck up of my life.

I feel worthless, and I can’t tell people close to me like my friends or my dad cause of how they’ll look at me. It just sucks to realise how much I’ve messed up so early on in my life.

Im struggling with porn addiction need help on a good streak right now don’t want to lose it

Hey all,

I have been sober for nearly 8 months. In that time I have regained my ability to experience life a lot better.

I found that most of my coping mechanisms to avoid feeling chronic pain from avoidant attachment disorder was to binge on dopamine - sugar, caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, marijuana, video games, porn, compulsive scrolling, being irresponsible with money and time and generally a life of indulgences. It made me feel 'normal' after a childhood of abuse and trauma and an adulthood of disappointments and failure to connect deeply with anyone.

In 2024 I decided enough was enough. That I didn't want to be 60 and look back at this time and say man, I wish I had fixed myself while there was still time for a family, a real bond with a good woman, to stop being a victim of my past (and myself). I began by seeing a therapist in February. I followed that up by quitting drinking in May. Then I quit porn in June. I proposed to my fiancé in September. I began to intermittently fast, going to the gym daily, cutting back on sweets and energy drinks. Installed content blockers on my devices, deleted social media apps, dumbed down my approach to the internet. All of this and I was still struggling as of a month ago - struggling to connect to my fiance, struggling to connect to myself and my life. I realized the last piece of the puzzle was I was still playing video games every day, and often watching youtube content about video games as well. In a gesture of finality I threw away my video game collection to prove that I was willing to put it all on the line.

Since then, I have really broken free of the daily dopamine drip that has defined my reward mechanism for nearly all of my life. I am not only able to be present and available for myself and my partner, I'm starting to be able to literally feel the mechanisms of reward in my daily life instead of via mental junk food. I am able to have successful quality intimacy, and the mundanity of normal life is far more engaging than I had expected it to be!

My breakthrough was held back by a fear of lack; that without my coping mechanisms, life would be unbearably dull, that I would be inundated by no engagement, and all of the pain and fear that made up the back of my mind would be front and present and cause me suffering. To an extent, all of this is true! But only temporarily. The mind is plastic. You think you are these behaviors, that you have to have them, that who would you be without them? But 100 years ago, no one had 24/7 access to porn, video games, drugs and alcohol, junk food and a life lacking engagement, purpose, dedication. That's what freeing myself up from a lifetime of petty indulgence has afforded me, and it has been shockingly easier than I had imagined.

Of course that's not to say it was easy - the hardest part was the willingness to commit, to do away with the niceties that I associated with who I am, and to suffer some boredom. If you want to walk this path, I recommend finding some joy in slow boring hobbies, like fishing and working out and playing an instrument. Stuff that takes time and discipline and only rewards you a little bit here and there, rather than nonstop maximum reward you get from a lot of todays opportunities to binge on success while you sit in a gaming chair really doing nothing.

And that's my takeaway from the past decades of my life, is that while I had ambition and desire to change, that I was suffering and wanted to breakthrough, I kept filling my time with so much nothing that it left little time to focus, to follow thru, to dedicate.

Now YMMV, maybe you can drink and smoke and play video games all day and you just need to quit porn because it's a gross habit that alienates you from society and yourself. But if you are suffering from decades of dysfunction and can't seem to get your shit together, I recommend going radical with yourself. Quit it all for awhile. Maybe not forever. I can foresee a future where I have a child who wants a video game, and at that time I would be fine having that practice back in my life - but for a purpose, to bond with a child, not to binge on fake rewards to satisfy the part of my brain that is screaming that it is suffering. But regardless, making a real pivot in my mind and behavior has paid off rapidly and significantly, and really feels like it has opened me up for the future I had been craving. I hope this helps inspire others.

I also really recommend HealthyGamerGG as a Youtube source for information and inspiration. As well as a variety of behavior content (Psych2Go, Heidi Priebe, Therapy in a Nutshell, Adam Lane Smith). Also look up exercises and stretches that help with male performance, whether you may have a weak, or an overtrained, pelvic floor.

I'm here for any follow up, questions, comments etc. I know quitting all the fun stuff is a radical approach, but after a lifetime of suffering, and with the urgency I feel as an aging man, I felt the radical approach was appropriate, and surprisingly, rewarding!

Help

Good morning,

I am recruiting participants for an academic study on pornography use in men aged 18-30. Questions include topics such as pornography use and a few personality measures. It should take no more than 20 minutes to complete the survey. If you can spare the time, I would greatly appreciate your participation.

Link here: https://erasmusuniversity.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_4PLJLKSrbkiAl9k

Many thanks!

Ever since 2020 ive been addicted to pornography. It started when I was curios of it and started watching it. I was younger at this time and I had no idea what it would do to me. As the years went on I started watching more fetish material and things like “anal” to lesbian stuff to trans stuff and finally just gay porn. I physically cannot stop fapping almost every day and its gotten so bad to the point of im uncomfortable around people and have contemplated suicide at times. I will say I am not suicidal but I have had dark thoughts. Needless to say, porn has ruined my dating life too. Every girl I meet they leave or I leave for porn. I started talking to this cute girl recently and I dont want to screw it up so I tried really hard not to fap but I just messed it up by fapping. I need to stop desperately before I ruin my life almost completely. I really need help and tips especially since im still in high school.