I have a really skinny body. I've been doing heavy lifting for like 3and a half years. My Weight did go up from 58 to 67 kg in three years, and I'm 1.82metre tall. No one would believe that I've been doing heavy lifting for over 3 years. Thus, I do lift more than most people in my Weight. People in the gym keep trying to convince me to use protein powders and that other expensive stuff. But I want to keep being natural. But my progress is super slow. I need over three months to add 1 kg of Weight. My longest is 8 months, no FAP. And the only progress I've got is in my legs. I started lifting mush more in the last month. But after one masturbation, that progress is all gone. I'm now in day 60 of no FAP, but still that purge I felt in month Nb 8 did not come .does that mean I need like 8 months for the masturbation effects to start going off.

Been months since I've had a streak longer than 4 days now. My last one week streak was quite awhile ago now.

I think the reason I've been able to stay clean this long has just been thanks to my busy schedule. Basically having something to do all the time really doesn't leave much time for porn.

Hopefully this will continue even into the next few weeks in which I'll be much much more free

Throwaway account, because my main account has posts and comments that link to who I am, and whilst to a point being open and honest is important, I don’t feel I want to share this side of me with anyone I know who cares to figure me out.

A little about me. I am 38 now. I discovered porn when I was probably around 14. I still remember how I discovered it, it was through a friend. I went to an all-boys school so had no female friends, and a friend brought to school an image of a woman with no top on. I was instantly (and secretly) obsessed. I asked him where he found it, and he told me. Being somewhat naive, the idea of using (then, dial-up) internet to look for topless women had never occurred to me. As soon as I got home you all know what I did. I still remember the website address he gave me, although I haven’t been to it for a long, long time.

Little did I know, that day set in motion a habit that has lasted over 24 years.

I started off by secretly seeking out more pictures of topless women, and then, as happens with this, slowly found myself dipping into more and more sexually explicit material. My parents caught me on several occasions because I was young and stupid and incognito browsing wasn’t a thing back then. It shamed me, but it didn’t stop me.

Soon enough I was delving into fetishistic material and that became fairly exclusively the content I would look for. I didn’t see anything wrong with it a lot of the time, although I would go through occasional behavioural purges, and that in itself tells you a lot.

As an adult I have never been caught out with my porn viewing habits. I think mainly because I’m quite good at keeping it a secret. That’s not a brag, it’s just a fact. But it’s not something I’m proud of.

Most recently I’ve found that my viewing has been spiralling somewhat, and my consumption is getting out of control. As vanilla gave way to fetish and kink, the fetishes have become more extreme and are not even things I would particularly enjoy. More concerningly, the fetish and kink stuff, I have noticed, has started to be captioned in far more misogynistic ways. That’s not who I am at my core. It’s not how I live my life. Why is this side of me so jarringly, abhorrently different?

Recently I have started practicing mindfulness and really analysing this side of me, and the impact that porn has had on me for so long. Part of that is also acknowledging the impact this industry has on its performers, which can be monumental. I think back to who I was as a youngster. The person who existed before this stuff got its hooks into my brain. He still exists, he’s still here. I want him back. I want to rediscover who I am without this stuff. I want to be a better man who doesn’t contribute to an industry that carelessly inflicts so much misery, abuse and psychological damage on its workers.

I have a strong exercise routine in place already and have found great mental comfort and resilience in running. I would recommend it to anyone as a mental health boost (once you get over the initial hump of it being awful). It really does help. This wasn’t part of this journey, but was something I discovered a few years back and honestly has helped my mental health in myriad ways. I will continue it for as long as my legs will allow, and I would recommend outdoors activities to anyone as a mental health booster.

So that’s why I’m posting here. I saw a post that said you should write to your addiction. I tried that but I found it odd to do, so I’ve done this post instead. This is my way of holding my hands up and saying that 24 years is far too long. Enough.

Today will be 11 days since I evaluated my life and found myself to be ashamed of myself. 11 days since I viewed anything. I won’t post every day, I don’t think that’s productive. But I do aim to post sporadically, and certainly comment supportively in this and related subreddits as a way to help others and keep myself on track.

In terms of how I’m doing this, I’ve gone a bit scorched Earth. My NSFW Reddit account is deleted fully, as is the email it was linked to. I have safe-searched my main account. I have set up counters so that every day can be a little victory. I have set up website blocks on my phone to all of my old haunts. All of these, I know, I am able to counteract. However, my hope is that with mindfulness, and enough initial defences in place I can stop, think for a moment and reverse my course before I land on a homepage somewhere - because once that happens it’s already too late.

Today I have committed myself to becoming 100% porn free, I know the road ahead won’t be easy, but I feel like I owe it to my present and future self to kick this addiction away. We’re all in this together!

I’m currently in the first and (hopefully) only relationship of my life. My girlfriend had a crush on me for 10 years, I had one on her for eight, and we’ve been together for five years now. We share a nice apartment with two cats and are generally content with life.

However, sex has been a consistent issue since after the first 6-10 months of our relationship. I attribute this to a porn addiction I uncovered 2-3 years ago. Before realizing its severity, I genuinely thought I had my life in order. I’ve been hitting the gym for years, quit smoking (I started at 15 and I’m 25 now), and generally felt like I was doing well. I underestimated how deeply porn was affecting me.

I’ve tried to quit a few times before but always failed, though I learned something each time. This time feels different. I’ve been stricter, not just about avoiding consumption but also cutting off any fantasies as soon as they arise. So far, it’s working better than ever.

Still, the addiction makes me doubtful. At the start of this attempt, I experienced intense rage over small frustrations—likely because I used porn to cope with anger and frustration since I was about 11.

What’s even harder is the obsessive thought that I might not be attracted to my girlfriend anymore. I know I used to be extremely attracted to her, but now I’m terrified that the lack of desire isn’t tied to the addiction but is something deeper. I have noticed some improvement already but these semi-depressive/ frustration periods really get to me emotionally.

I’ve been clean for about a month now, and logically, I know a lot of this is probably in my head. But the doubts linger.

Has anyone been through something similar? I’d love to hear your insights or personal experiences.

Much love to all of you!

Ps: To all the people who have shared your story already on this thread, I am deeply grateful to your bravery and openness. Thanks a lot!

*partner can mean a lot of things.

I used to think just p*** was the problem and I do think that masturbation can be healthy in moderation. But think about what a partner is. Think about what real human bonding is about. It's not about the pleasure which you extract from the relationship.

So when people say they use p*** as a substitute for human connection, I get it. But you've reversed the cause and effect. No: people are not for your pleasure. It's so tempting to orient toward pleasure. How else do we ascribe value, right?

No, man. That's why after I post this, I'm logging out for a while. I'm not gonna promise forever, but I'm gonna try my hardest not to look back for validation. I've felt before like there's no way out. But it's bright up here. And it might not be permanent. It's not what you think it is. You might be disappointed, which makes the route so confusing... but it's for the best. We don't get to ever be sure of we've found it. But it's something you can do. Something you're working towards right now. Just

Stop orienting toward sex. I mean, not all the time. Sometimes it's great. But Pleasure. That's.. It's not what living is about, is it? And you know it.

I'll say this, it tastes a lot cleaner when you get a taste of it while you fly right.

Don't overvalue the phrase "fly right," though. It's just a metaphor.

❤️

Man, just imagined how many hours you lost in watching porn since the first time we discorvered it. Back in a 15 years ago, porn wasn't that free of charge and popular. You can't just watch it for free, you gotta pay the money to watch it. But now, imagine how many so called free pornsites on the internet right now? This thing is so popular right now, even in coutries not that well off can get access to it...

According to the real life encountering I got, I can boldly say that most men nowadays take porn watching as a way to relax (porn watching habit can glue to us for years, if we don't cut it off ASAP), but man, that's not a healthy and proper way to relax yourself. With porn watching habit, you would most likely get yourself into the vicious cycle of non-stop binge of porn and jacking off.

If you do this combo everyday, or even every week indulging yourself in these two things, your physical and mental health would be greatly affected. Please, abstain yourself from porn first. How then? By developing some positive and healthy habits to replace porn watching. The easiest one is "drawing", everytime you feel the urges to watch porn, just grap a paper and draw something on it, and you can even go out to the park to do the drawing! Immerse yourself in a habit is important, if you're really determined to conquer this habit. Once you stop watching porn, the jacking off frequencies would greatly cut down by itself as well.

I know in this modern world, with so much alluring and arousing contents right now, to stay pure isn't that easy, but we must never give up. With every fail, there would come the hope.

Wish you guys all stay pure and stay strong today, let's beat this terrible habit together, cheers.

I failed again, so i nerd win the question Is How? Well I'll fin a way because i don't Wanna be a piece of shit, i Wanna to try again i expecting your can help me please, thank so much you, i broke my promise however another rise or that i Wanna, a fuck talker no no no just I Wanna win. I'll fin a way

Hi. I, (20M) have been watching porn for years now. I have always believed that it is wrong and bad for me. But I've always rationalized it in my head, convincing myself that I just did it out of boredom or to relax and so on. I am also a Christian and I believe what I've been doing is sinful. Today, I realized that I was no longer in control as I started talking to this girl on Reddit and she somehow managed to get me to subscribe to her OF and even tip her later. This is not me. I realized it immediately afterwards. I'd really like to get at least some of that money back (cause it was paid for things that would happen during a longer time and I am quitting) and I may ask but of course it ain't gonna work. I am the kind of person who gets anxiety from situations like these.

But that's not the point. I wanna get out. I want to live a normal life without porn poisoning my brain and making me someone I am not. I have evaded the inevitable conclusion that I am addicted to it but now I realize I really am. One of my friends recently told me he had this problem and he has managed to solve it. I hope I can do it, too. What should I do?

I posted previously about committing to overcoming my urges and going porn free but was recently hit was a pretty hard relapse due to a curveball I was not expecting. In order to explain it I should go into detail as to exactly what problem I have with porn.

Porn had been a pretty big nuisance in my life for awhile but around 2020 or so I started getting into not only more degrading, hardcore porn but also sexting others on the internet. Particularly reddit in which I would make accounts soley to find women to sext with on various subreddits. This became a habit and would often spiral into awful fucking kinks.

I would make accounts to sex, then try quitting by deleting them, and repeat the process again and again and again. I also did this on discord where it was a very bad habit. Hours upon hours spent sexting with strangers I didn't know irl.

When I made my commitment to quitting porn I had deleted those sexting reddit accounts and only kept this one to document my journey. I wanted to delete my discord account as well but ran into an issue. Discord only allows deletion in 14 days. So when you push the delete button the account is not really deleted until those 14 days are up.

Out of nowhere, an old, favorited sexting buddy hit me up on that account. I logged in and we started chatting and quickly things spiraled into the depravity they went to before.

I swear, Irl, I would never want to engage in most of these kinks. Yet simply due to that constant feedback look it would be like pushing to one terrible kink to another again and again and again. After busting one out I felt the most utterly awful wave of shame and guilt. Felt like I was dirty from the inside out.

I don't want this. I don't want to continue to go down these spirals. I crave intimacy with a beautiful woman who loves and respects me. A consistent pattern i noticed during these sexting sessions is i'd particularly go for the ones who showered me with praise. "Oh you're so dominant i love it", "Oh I never came that hard while sexting". Its so shallow as its coming from internet strangers but it sparked something in my brain of enjoying that feeling of praise, craving it, seeking it.

When I made this commitment to quit porn I was serious about it. I still am. which is why I don't want to approach relapse with guilt, frustration, and self hate. I want to truly look at this from an analytical perspective and figure out how to fix these issues.

If you have any experience with what I'm going through and especially if you managed to become porn free I would greatly appreciate hearing from you and any advice you have to give.

I am sitting here at 2:30 AM having jacked off for quite a bit and of course I feel terrible and frustrated, like always.

I have come to the realisation how much this addiction has drained me and how many hours I've wasted over the years. I'm going to be honest, I have missed out on many things because of it and it really stings. I want my fucking life back.

I sometimes go like 3-4 days without it and the benefits/changes are insane (in a good way). I'm basically a completely different human, confidence, motivation, energy, productivity, relaxation etc. are very high. Social skills just come naturally and I turn into a joyful creature who is content with his life.

But then I fall back into the bad habits... I have been trying to stop for 2 years and I have made some progress, but I want to reach the point where I'm completely pornfree.

Do you guys have any advice that worked for you? I don't want to be this depressed, anxious, self-conscious and mentally exhausted shell of myself anymore. I want a normal life. I don't want to waste my existence :(

Just checking in. Things are getting better each day. Keep going!

I am 21 and I have realized my life has been down in the dumps. Years of doing the bare minimum had caught up with me, so I am depressed and am achieving nothing and haven’t in a very long time. When I looked at porn twice today I felt nothing. I just craved a high no porn could ever provide. I think it is time for the big reset. My degeneracy has caused me to spend money on sex toys but more importantly my precious time on porn and adding it all to a big 500gb collection but at what cost? When finally using it I ended up skipping through still trying to find the perfect video. Scrolling through the video to find the perfect moment. More, more more dopamine. I fucking hate this shit and I am clearly desensitized to it at a very high level. I want to just quit this shit but have never been able to and I think if I don’t do something important with my life soon I will end up as a loser for the rest of my life. I had a surgery that has caused me to not be allowed to work out and I still can’t really do it for another 12 days or so. I just can’t when I have no purpose. It feels so pointless to even get up in the morning if I can even do that. I go to bed very late and get up very late. This is honestly the lowest point of my life

We are not ashamed of you. We do not judge you, for anything you've done. The past is irrelevant.

We will not live the rest our lives miserable like this, unable to participate in the world like this, ashamed and disgusted and embarrassed like this.

We are not weak. We chose to come to this community, we chose to engage with it, we chose to ask for help and share and read others' stories. We want change.

And there are many, many of us with you.

Hey, I (F15) am addicted to porn and masturbating, it all started when I was 8, I started watching videos, of course my body never had any reaction to this, but I was interested, my parents never really checked what I was doing on the internet, at 10 someone forced me to send pictures of my body, I became so scared but it didn’t stop me, I would keep watching porn and I became obsessed. I kept « masturbating » but my body never had a reaction to it until 1 year ago, I was doing it and I felt something and it felt good and since then I haven’t been able to stop, I have been doing it everyday yes everyday I never stopped, I can’t stop watching it, it doesn’t matter if I’m sad or anything, whenever I’m bored I do it, whenever something reminds me of it, I do it, it ruined my life and I feel something disgusting for not being able to stop, I can’t talk about it to anyone. How do I stop, please I will try anything. I tried deleting any apps that would able me to watch it, but I always end up watching it again, I just can’t and I’m so tired of this.. please help!

I did Tae Kwon Do for 10 years and am a 2nd degree black belt.

& very early on, my instructor taught me a lesson that’s stuck with me ever since.

He asked,

“What’s the best way to block a punch?”

We said things like… inside block, outside block, etc.

He said,

“No. The best way is to not get hit. Dodge it.”

Which makes all the sense in the world when you think about it.

It takes a LOT more energy, and is still a considerable risk when you’re interacting with the force of a blow in order to stop it, instead of simply stepping out of the way.

It works this way with triggers to use p**n too.

The easiest way to overcome urges is simply to not have them.

& the easiest way to make that happen is setting up your environment and day-to-day life so that you aren’t encountering unnecessary triggers.

Beyond that it’s Internal Work to help show your brain that you don’t actually want that crap anymore anyways.

Get those things right and everything becomes 100x easier.

Don’t block the hit. Dodge it.

I was going to post here on Wednesday that I had a goal of going all day without looking but i never did post and I failed anyway.

Today I went all day without and will end the day successfully.

For some of us just 1 day at a time is our starting point.

42M - saw porn for the first time when I was about 6 or 7 and it’s never left my life.

So my porn consumption got really bad after I got out of a long term relationship, and then when I finally made the big step of trying to date again I immediately got played and subsequently hurt.

So I took all of that emotion and put it into watching porn! Fun times….right?

And then I got to a point where I felt like I was over my dating woes. I wasn’t in such a bad spot anymore and maybe I could start getting back out there. That’s when I noticed I no longer had the desire to seek a real partner anymore. And a bunch of other stuff on top of that made me open my eyes and realize how much porn I was consuming and how much it’s impacted my brain.

I’m currently a little over a month porn free, and what I’ve realized is I wasn’t over any of my dating woes. I’d just numbed them out with porn. So now I’m porn free and it’s going great and I’m benefitting a lot and I don’t ever want to go back. But I’m also now faced with dealing with all these emotions. And the loneliness. I feel unwanted. And because I feel unwanted it makes it really hard to not turn to porn. I haven’t given in, and I won’t give in. Because that would be a betrayal to my overall wellbeing.

But I just wanted to come here and vent. Mainly because I’m having urges and I feel pretty low. So I thought maybe venting here would ease the urges a bit. It’s helping already as I type.

It has been a calm journey when we talk about wanting to watch it again, as I always knew the first step would be the hardest, but damn. I'm not experiencing the desire of coming back even after 10 years of addiction bc i always remember how bad I used to feel while consuming it, but i've been SO depressed. I just hope it eventually vanishes because it's really affecting me. Idk if it is some kind of abstinence or smth, or if is totally unrelated but dude, I wake up in the morning and I just stay in bed. I'm spending more time in my phone than I could ever do, I stopped cooking and sometimes I don't eat nothing the entire day (today it took me 22 hours to eat again and the last time was only popcorn).

I'm feeling miserable, and I will try to start doing some exercises to see if I can cheer up a bit. If anyone has any advice to give, I would really appreciate it.

PS: still learning english, so sorry for any mistakes

Ive been so good and I can feel myself slipping.

Using this post as accountability - I will not be the person I was and I will not let it consume me.

I will live life to the fullest and love my life.

thank you for the support. this is a new day

I just spent 120$ too jerk off to feet, first she said 40$ for a Video call, than after giving me instructions she gave me a countdown and ended the Video call at 5. Then she wanted me too send more money, when I want to cum and I did. So 120$ later I came, now I feel dumb and worthless. I never spent so much money on one day. I can't stop sending money too women, while I jerk off, I need help. I spent over 1000$ on porn/Webcam girls already. I feel so empty, I never thought I would be so pathetic. Sorry if my english is bad, I'm from germany.

What are some things I can do at night when the urges come and i fell like watching. I've noticed that is when I end up relapseing alot of the time and I'm wondering what are some things or tips I could do during the night ?

I actually joined and posted on my main account, but I decided to remove any connection to this sub from my main account for obvious reasons.

today is my second day. I will be posting my Log day 2 by end of night.

I was wondering if there are other girls here and if you have any tips, I have had this addiction for too long and I wanna get rid of it. Tyyy!! :)

Hi all, I'm currently 12 days clear from any masturbation or porn but I am still struggling.

I once achieved a 34 day streak which I ended up breaking and since then have been on a downward spiral.

Currently trying to find motivation and stop me from slipping up!

Hi all, I'm currently 12 days clear from any masturbation or porn but I am still struggling.

I once achieved a 34 day streak which I ended up breaking and since then have been on a downward spiral.

Currently trying to find motivation and stop me from slipping up!

People need to hear this from all corners of this subreddit so I am just going to tell everyone instead of spamming individual comments.

This book The Power of Habit will literally save your life and be the cornerstone of your success. I promise you.

I assume that the majority of you guys don't even consciously choose porn as your coping mechanism. You feel bad (anxious, nervous, lonely, etc.), want to stop feeling bad, remember that porn makes you "content," and then you use it. You solidify your porn habit and its completely unconscious, but the emotions and the pain you feel after are not. You feel bad and disgusting and then you start the cycle over.

The most important element to your recovery is noticing what makes you turn to porn in the first place, and the second part is reducing the chances that event takes place. If you are unable to change that event, you change the porn usage to something else.

The cycle of habits is essentially three parts, the trigger/cue, the action, and then the reward. You want the reward no matter what so you need to figure out how to augment the trigger or action.

Hello, guys. Things are not going well at the moment to tell you everything. I feel like nothing is going right and that I'm wasting my life. Have you ever had this type of thought when you were weaning?

Kisses and good luck...

Hello, my name is Weronika, and I am a psychology student conducting research on tools and strategies for overcoming porn addiction and how their effectiveness varies among individuals. Thank you for taking the time to complete this short survey (Link: https://forms.gle/ZS8t1ZWLZBoNNrjE9 ). Your responses are incredibly valuable and will provide essential insights to help me refine and enhance my project. Thank you once again and stay strong! ❤️‍🔥

All answers are anonymous