Hi all, my name is David de Jong, I'm a professor at Western Carolina University. These days, my research focus is solo masturbation, and I’m inviting folks to participate in a brief study.

I posted this invite here about a month ago. But, we really need more women in the sample, and the mods have allowed me to repost this, just in case anyone missed it the first time.

Researchers at Western Carolina University are inviting people to participate in a 10 minute study.

The goal is to better understand attitudes towards masturbation. You will be asked personal questions about masturbation and sexuality in general.

To participate, you must be 18 or older. You are welcome to participate regardless of whether you have ever masturbated.

We ran a similar study on the same topic in February/March 2024. This is a different study, and it is fine to have participated in both.

Your responses are completely anonymous. No identifying information is collected.

If you are interested in participating, please follow this link:

https://wcu.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_b3hDc0lJexax3F4?fr=pfw

Thank you! Happy to answer any questions, if I can!

My idea of sex is something done to you, out of your control. It's not about you, or your enjoyment. It might be against your will. Sex is to hurt, to take advantage, and to treat someone like their worthless.

Romance is separate.

Shortly after quitting, I watched romance shows, and their sex scenes. I didn't know sex could be soft, warm, and caring. I didn't know that sex could involve an emotional connection, so intimate that it feels like you're intruding. I didn't know that sex could be loving.

Not just loving sex, but random sex in shows although I do not watch these. But I've seen that even with casual sex, it's focused on your enjoyment, and your pleasure.

For the longest time I saw sex as pain. I've seen so much pain. But now I've seen what sex could be. And I want that for myself.

I want to be loved. So I will choose that for myself.

What is sex to you? What did porn make you see it as?

So being sexually harassed i used porn as a medium of relief but now i think I'm becoming the monster who ruined my whole life. and i want to restart again. the longest i can go is 5 days that's all. I'm hardly 16 and need desperate help in this matter as I'm about to give my boards in 20 days. I USUALLY LOSE MY WILL POWER AT THE LAST MOMENT

Hey everyone;

Thought I'd give another positive but honest update.

I'm almost 150 days porn free which is 80% of my goal of reaching 6 months without porn.

I dont even think about porn anymore except when people bring it up of course.

I have found myself to be fantasising again which is a sticky slope. Of course nothing wrong with fantasy but if it leads to similar thought processes that lead to watching porn then its a risk, so I've been keeping an eye of that and reminding myself to not let my guard down.

Lately I feel all over the place emotionally. Now that im not using porn or masturbation to dull my emotions I feel like a 2 year old.

I feel so many emotional extremes within the day or even the hour. This is an underlying issue that I've always had but was masked a little by depression and porn use.

On top of that I am dealing with big life changes so that's part of it but, I didnt realise what it was that porn was doing to my brain until I stopped.

For example, I'm currently grieving a huge loss in life, and I can quite literally feel the emotional pain where I also used to feel the urge to watch porn, almost as if the pain I felt correlated physically with the spot in my brain that craved dopamine.

Idk if that makes sense, but it genuinely is torture, when I'm not distracted to notice that sensation.

I dont feel at risk of using at all, I do feel incredibly sad and isolated. This big gasping hole where porn watching used to go is making me realise how sad I am in general. How alone and abandoned I am.

But I also feel in Control. For the first time I dont have that guilt weighing me Down. I have options. I have more clarity. I can think more clearly even if I am still depressed.

I guess my point is if you're someone like me who got into porn to numb the pain you were feeling, you're not gonna feel amazing overnight. But even the smallest changes make a world of difference and you WILL feel better.

And because I've commited to this lifestyle change the other positive changes come easier too as I've shown myself I can do hard but necessary things.

Good luck!

Hi , I wanted to share my struggle with compulsive masturbation: I suffer from it since I was 7/8 years old and I'm now 21. It happens 1 to 3 times a day. It s my way of regulating negative emotions and also of fulling dead moments,when I feel lonely and have nothing to do. It get worse when I'm stressed and in the past few years It interruptes the moments when I study at home, I can't get focused so I'm forced to study outside. I quit watching porn recently (about 1 month) and now I 'm willing to decrease masturbation. I 'm going to therapy since a year and I see some general improvements but most of the time I feel like in prison , like I have no willpower of changing my behaviour. I would like some advice or encouragement

Hello, I posted previously in r/loveafterporn but they wouldn't accept this and told me this would be better in this sub and I guess I agree....

So..

So for a bit of a back story: I watched porn myself, was seeing absolutely nothing wrong with, my personality is kind of a people pleasing kind and wanted to be the cool girlfriend, who watches porn with her bf sometimes. Until it happened once; we decided to watch it together , he picked a video. The woman was beautiful, busty , it was POV, the story was kind of "funny" that's why he picked it (the story was, she was licking his ass, he's like "omg isn't that gay" , and she just says "no I'm a woman")

Anyways, i really didn't feel good after this, jealous and my heart just told me that this is wrong. Having a boyfriend who is lusting after other women with bigger tits and ass, having this extreme stimulus which I can't ever reach, providing this fantasy I can't ever reach. It sounds hypocrit because I was watching porn by myself but in my opinion, in porn the focus is more on the woman's body Vs the man's penis so I wasn't watching videos where the muscular beautiful man is being glorified and in focus, I was watching women being glorified, but of course having fun this man's penis. So yeah, its kinda different but still I was watching other people fucking, watching other men's penises (and when I talked with my boyfriend about this he claimed that he is also jealous of me watching other men but it's not that bad that he wants to restrict porn).

So.... I did a lot of research, first still trying to be ok with porn, reading other peoples views why they think porn is ok in a relationship blah blah. I tried to be okay and then I was okay (but not okay) for a few weeks. Did some more research, found the bad side of Porn, how it is desensitizing and disrespectful to your partner, you know all the arguments.

Finally we agreed to not watch porn anymore. Only our own videos. Also maybe important info: he claims that he wasn't ever an addict. No onlyFans, no money spent, just watching "free" PornHub videos. I don't know what's the exact definition of a porn addict, he was a regular user, and I was a regular user, like 2-3 times a week.

Bomb incoming...I'm just so afraid that he lies to me because Im Reading here on this sub every day that your Partner's are lying and hiding and stuff. This just makes me irritated on a daily basis, sometimes I have bad dreams and I'm overly anxious. I need a lot of reassurance from him that he did not watch. And I kinda believe him. Kinda

Now the bomb: I watched porn today. I'm just a big fat hypocrit, and I know it. I don't know why I did it. I have thoughts like "I bet he's still watching, and lying" and feeling angry I'm turned to porn. So I think this is the trigger. If I could be a 100% sure he doesn't watch then I guess I wouldn't have this reaction to it..I don't t know if one can call it trauma response or if I'm just an addict myself and I can't stop. I feel so bad and guilty..if I tell him about this then I'm afraid that he will be angry and disappointed and turn to porn as a reaction and because I deserve it. I don't know what to do.

One the hand I see myself as a victim of porn, who watched since I was a kid, got "groomed" by this sick society. On the other hand it was of course my decision to turn to porn and I want to take full responsibility. And I just feel so bad.

My emotions are just...wild rn.. also I'm not a native speaker, I hope you got what I was trying to say.

Hello, so I’ve been trying to fight this for a while now, probably around 4ish months but I recently fell back into a continuous state of relapsing all the time. The longest I got was around 6 days before going straight back, now I can barely make it one day. It’s horrible and it really is messing up my life. I want to fix this so of course I’ve been thinking about all the things that trigger me to use and the one I’ve noticed the most is that when I go to bed I get the urge and that’s when I relapse. It’s like I just forget about the end goal of quitting or I just don’t care in that moment. What I want to ask is if anyone has a similar trigger and how they counteract it.

F 16 here. Thank god for the tiktok ban. I wish sex wasn't shoved in our faces everywhere on the internet. I've been addicted for a few years now and despite trying to quit, I haven't been able to go a full 24 hours without masterbating to porn and seeking out nippleplay porn endlessly

Funny thing is, I have a partner and we have an active sex life. He knows that I watch porn. He watches porn too, but he isn't addicted to it like I am. He'll just take a look sometimes. He doesn't seem to believe that I have a problem but I genuinely think I'm bordering on hypersexuality because it's on my mind all the time. He makes the case that it can be healthy because it improved our sex life when we watch porn together and try to recreate the scenes, but I don't want to get lost down this rabbit hole listening to this sex positivity dummy

Hi , I wanted to share my struggle with compulsive masturbation: I suffer from it since I was 7/8 years old and I'm now 21. It happens 1 to 3 times a day. It s my way of regulating negative emotions and also of fulling dead moments,when I feel lonely and have nothing to do. It get worse when I'm stressed and in the past few years It interruptes the moments when I study at home, I can't get focused so I'm forced to study outside. I quit watching porn recently (about 1 month) and now I 'm willing to decrease masturbation. I 'm going to therapy since a year and I see some general improvements but most of the time I feel like in prison , like I have no willpower of changing my behaviour. I would like some advice or encouragement

It's been about 6 weeks since I quit using porn and porn related material. I say porn material because let's be honest - soft core stuff is everywhere on social media, tv, etc. I had to unsubscribe to certain accounts on all my social media and change settings so that I'm not force fed sexual images 24/7. I use IG a lot and holy crap is it bad despite changing the settings. I've really limited my screen time and that has helped too. I'm a 39F with a high sex drive. I've used porn since my early teens. A small part of my use was due to desire but mostly due to anxiety and loneliness. I'm now filling those voids with more healthy activities I feel so much better now not using it and I feel like my relationship with my partner has improved substantially. We've both made a commitment to not use it anymore. Tired of fake sex and images. I want to explore my sexuality in the real world in my own body and not get stuck in my head anymore. I want real human connection. Love the support given in this group. We got this!! 💪

Does anyone else struggle with online chat rooms? I am so addicted and spend hours on there. I feel alone with my problems and it makes me really desensitized to sex with my husband. Looking for connection in this loneliness.

If you could tel someone about porn addiction, the nittiest grittiest, what would you want them to know? How would you tell them?

Hello everyone,

I am 133 days porn free. I now am at the point where I can see sexual or erotic imagery and not feel the need to watch porn with the exception of it lighting up a tiny bulb in my brain that does make me feel like i have an itch i cant scratch.

My social life is getting better but im.atill heavily addicted my phone and internet use in general and I want to work on becoming less attached to my phone.

Anyways, I've been in the mood to date lately. I'm not particularly looking for anything serious, just want to experience people and see how I am and my energy is with them and allow myself to flirt with no pressure.

The thing is, now that I dont watch porn anymore I think I'm in a Flat line stage. I'm a lesbian, or at the very least queer and I feel as though idk how to engage with other women in a flirty, sexual way. Or aside from that I just have no desire to actually make moves?

Idk if its a loss of libido from healing from porn use or in general I've always been like that, but for some reason I'm just purely interested in getting to know people without anything physical involved, atleast for now. I would like to atleast kiss/ make out with people but I also just don't care to. There's this girl I'm interested in atm and I feel quite strange as if I should feel more attracted to her but I just enjoy her company. Nothing crazy or feral like I'd imagine desire to be.

Is this normal?

Hi girlies as much as the internet can be a triggering and traumatizing space, spaces such as this one have provided so much awareness and glimmers for me in my journey 🥹 little backstory and some advice/resources I’m looking for and would appreciate the help. I was raped when I was 19-21 by someone I thought was a friend and prior to it, I didn’t masturbate, but enjoyed watching sensual and passionate movie scenes like slow burn, enemies to lovers and friends to lovers. I had been sexually harassed in high school with lots of porn references thrown at my that I didn’t understand because I hadn’t watched it and something in my spirit told me to avoid it. My rapist exposed me to various porn pre and played it during the abuse and between that and squirt orgasming during it and not knowing what was happening to my body, I developed a really unhealthy sense of sexuality after with hypersexuality and hypo on and off and while not doing anything crazy in real life, I became addicted to porn and watching things that re-enacted elements of my trauma story and further things because of that feeling of being tainted and dirty and fantasies that became more disgusting but would work over things I actually want. I’m so tired and sad of making progress and then in moments of intense stress and depression relapsing and going back to seeking that self-harm. And I feel like I ruined my higher self and I’m a disgusting hypocrite and my feminism is dead because of all of the awareness and research I’ve done and who I used to be and how I treat women in real life. Any resources or ways to reframe these things? 🥹🥲 it makes it worse when people tell me what a loving and good person I am because my self harm makes me feel as evil as my abuser and bc I continued it when I know it’s wrong.

- especially if the porn you watched was really taboo or problematic

i really want to open up to people especially my mother because we live together, and it honestly feels like i've disappointed her and disrespected her by doing this under her roof. i feel like a horrible daughter. not to mention that i've been lying (by omission) to my closest friends because i haven't told them about it at all. just feeling major resentment and guilt towards myself rn and idk how to cope with it.

but anyways, i've been porn free for about 50 days. you all have a good week <3

I got banned permanently from nofap reddit for sharing advice that actually helps. I'm convinced they don't actually want to help. As they will do anything in their power to remove advice but won't do much when there is actually NSFW troll accounts or at least take their time. I'm not sure if this community is the same. In that regard but screw it.

I goy banned for telling people about the easy method. For some reason they ban that but it works. They say it's because of copyright issues which you can think ok fair enough but this guy wrote a different book called flying eagle. Guess what they banned that aswell with no excuse.

Anyways easy method paired with deep healing because pain and trauma at the root is why people try to escape you heal that there is nothing to run and hide from. You don't get the illusionary value from escaping from a bigger pain. Time and time again healing proves to be the root solution. For those who have therapy that can be helpful for uncovering trauma but at the end of the day you have to let go of it aswell through meditation and introspection, getting at the root of it and relaxing into the feeling. This releases the intensity of the emotion simultaneously changes the relationship with it.

They might ban me or delete this but worth a shot not sure if it's the same motives as nofap but we will see.

Hello everyone. Pls help me stop this, I’m 18 F and got really addicted to po*n and also bought toys. It’s really hampering my life . Also addicted to the nsfw subs here that's why I keep deleting my account. I can't even stand a day. What to do?

I think I masturbate too things that are bad or have created a bad pattern in my body. When I go to bed it's like it comes out naturally to get the phone and self pleasure without needing to actually watch porn. Like it's not actually porn that gets me of but rather my position and my phone. I don't know if I should change my habit. Is it's a bad habit or if it just sounds bad and. I maybe masturbate like once or twice a week depends on how bored I've been during the week and I've been two months off porn. But maybe this isn't enough.

hello, I'm a girl in my mid 20s and I've been addicted to porn since i was a child. I went through various forms of CSA when i was younger, not all of which i remember, but it all plays a big role in my addiction I'm sure.

I don't watch every day, but when i do, I take it too far. I watch things I know will make me feel horrible about myself and it ruins my week. I am obsessed with finding girls who look "perfect" and berating myself for not looking like them. When i was underweight, I'd look for curvy girls. Now that I'm bigger, i look for emaciated girls with huge breasts.

I tell myself these are the only valid women, all women look like this, and I'm disgusting for looking different. I get off to that. I don't know what's wrong with me. It is affecting my relationship.

My bf of 4 years doesn't watch porn and he wants me to stop. He knows I don't use it in a healthy way and that it makes me feel bad. He knows I only look at girls. I avoid sex with him because I'm so ashamed of my own body. Sex makes me feel dirty and unhappy .Humiliating myself thru porn viewing is the only way i can get off.

I need advice..

i think finding this sub is honestly a godsend. until a few days ago i kinda thought i must be one of the only girls in the world with a porn addiction. i feel a lot less alone seeing other women talk about falling down down the rabbit hole of watching degrading or violent porn and wanting to quit. i made this absurdly long post on r/NoFap (before i found this sub) a few days ago talking about these feelings and about my addiction experience in general. i think by posting that i wanted to kind of set my intentions in stone in a way, given i've never talked about my porn addiction seriously with anyone, in person or online, even with a stranger. i always knew my porn problem was bad, obviously, but when i wrote all of that out i think i realized i actually have to take this seriously.

the urges and sexual thoughts are really bad and all i can do is keep reminding myself how things will get better eventually, but only if i don't give in. i'm really stressed about things right now and it's making staying clean super difficult. i feel really pathetic being this helpless at the hands of porn. and it's also hard to accept that it's going to be a long while before i can feel any of the benefits of quitting. i also know the more i let negative emotions spiral the more likely i am to give up so i'm writing about them here instead. grateful to have found this community, good luck to anyone who sees this :))

I've been addicted to porn since I was 11, and now at 22 I am trying to quit. I didn't realize I had a problem until recently because I was consuming erotica/smut and not a video-- which in some way I thought was 'different'. it started innocent enough, as a kid I was a voracious reader and discovering fanfiction was an accessible way to read with no money. my favorite series didn't have to end with the last book, I could just go online and read about characters I already know getting into crazy situations. But I was still reading on the internet so I inevitably stumbled upon endless NSFW/erotica works on these sites, which was unfortunately my introduction to sex and sexual fantasies. I was still reading regular harmless fanfic but began reading more and more of the explicit works. it was complicated because it wasn't JUST a porn addiction. reading (especially short form reading like fanfiction) was a huge coping mechanism for me where I could escape into any world or into my imagination to try and disconnect from uncomfortable reality. it was all I would do. I would read in class in high school, on the bus, at family gatherings, while stopped at red lights when driving. Often explicit, and in public! the escapism was part of the problem, but as time went on the explicit works had to get more and more shocking, taboo, and upsetting for me to feel any arousal. I know this is often talked about on here, but it still feels shameful. Things that I had no interest in for real life sex and romance where the only things that I was interested in, like rape fantasies, monster transformations, all of it. Then recently I started actually watching these things on porn sites, and again would only be interested in the most extreme options. I feel these years of porn addiction have ruined me. I can't believe I didn't see it as a problem for so long. I've never felt any real sexual attraction or arousal with another person. I've never been in a real relationship, partly because I'm terrified of it and I think partly because my head is so filled with bullshit from these fake romances I would read about. I was assaulted when I was 18 and it made me even more terrified of sex, further separating these parts of me that on one hand is hypersexual and constantly consuming shocking porn, and on the other is terrified of real life intimacy. so I'm quitting starting last night. I want to be able to experience real attraction, real arousal and connection with a real person. I've been going on some dates and seeing where it goes even though it terrifies me like nothing else. I feel like I don't even know what my sexuality is. I hope this decision will help me even though it feels impossible right now. I feel ashamed for investing so much of my life into cringe fanfiction and mediocre erotica.. I'm over it!

I 14F have a very severe addiction to both porn and masturbation that began when i was 12. I have watched 2000+ porn videos in the past few months and masturbate 3-5 times daily, today I decided that I will quit porn.

My most major motivator behind this is that I am extremely desensitized to most porn. I seek out the most extreme categories and even then there are times where I just don't react to it. As a result, I'm extremely worried that when I am older and get a boyfriend I won't be aroused from him. This eats me alive, I feel almost hopeless. Any advice is appreciated

"She had no idea that, in his late 50s and nearing retirement, her husband Dominique Pelicot had been spending a lot of time on the internet, often talking to users on open forums and chatrooms where sexual material - often extreme or illegal - was freely available. In court, he would later pinpoint that phase as the trigger for his "perversion" after a childhood trauma of rape and abuse: "We become perverted when we find something that gives the means: the internet." Sometime between 2010 and 2011, a man claiming to be a nurse sent Mr Pelicot photos of his wife, drugged with sleeping pills to the point of unconsciousness. He also shared precise instructions with Mr Pelicot so that he could do the same to Gisèle At first he hesitated - but not for long."

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cvgx7xy77ydo

do we think he ever would have had the idea? if his porn addiction didnt spiral unchecked? or was he always a low empathy monster ? she says it was perfect for so many years, how does a monster not slip up in 40 years?

hi everyone. i'm [f(22)] new to this sub and i have been porn-free for 39 days, so it's been just over a month.

however, it's been really difficult to cope, and perhaps i deserve it because i sort of did it to myself. i cannot stop the rumination that i am facing with regards to my porn use. i have been watching porn since i was about 11 y/o, and as many people have said on this sub, the more porn you watch and the more time that passes, the more you become desensitized and start seeking out novelty etc. etc. the stuff that i got into was really weird. i tell myself that perhaps it was a morbid curiosity, but i feel like i'm a deranged pervert who deserves to be tortured for the stuff i became curious about. i feel like porn has warped the way my mind approaches day to day experiences- it's like i can't not think about sex and it worries me. is this something that will fade away with time? i have sexual intrusive thoughts about just about everything you could think of, and they wear me out as i know that i do not want to act on them but what if i'm just a bad person anyways.

i feel like my impulse control became so poor. i keep thinking, what if my decision to stop wasn't to be a good person but more because i'm worried about what other people will think of me. have you guys ever felt evil? is it something you ever get over? do you have anyone to speak with who understands you? i think i've created this image of someone that's only half-true, and i'm scared if i talk about the other stuff (like my dependency on porn), people will think i'm a liar or a horrible person and will want nothing to do with me afterward.

i had a few weird and strange sexual experiences (idk how else to describe them) with male adults as a child, and definitely some mental health issues that i have not yet properly addressed with the help of a professional. i know that that can definitely affect a person's thoughts and behaviours, but what if i'm just giving myself excuses? i am seeking out a psychologist and diagnosis, but it will be a while before anything comes out of that.

in saying all of this, i feel more motivated than ever to stay porn-free. i have made attempts as a teenager to stop, but they all failed. i think it might be because now i'm just really ashamed, but i do not want shame to be the only thing that drives me to come out of this.

I feel guilty that I broke the rules these past 3 days, since I joined this community I will keep updating in my journey. Ffs I hate this I'm literally addicted reading hentai and the good thing is I don't found it fun watching porn. 💪🏻

Hello, I'm (26F) working through a rough patch in life, I'm a stay at home mother of soon to be 3 kids and am dealing with some anger and resentment as a mom. I say this to say that these last 2 years has been really hard for me mentally, specifically this year, and my unfortunate coping mechanism is escapism, sometimes in the form of true crime or other creepy/scary podcasts or porn. This year has been full of stress and drama to the point that I've dealt with tachycardia throughout this pregnancy, my heartrate being as high as 150bpm at times. I have been spending a lot of time contemplating what is wrong with my brain that this is how I cope. Ultimately I had a severely sexualized and chaotic childhood. I don't think I was assaulted, but I honestly don't remember a lot. Just hazy things, like being taught sexual stuff by kids around me as young as 4-5, sexual games with neighbor kids at 8-9, before eventually seeking out porn at 11-12. My dad was very into purity culture, and never wanted girls, so I, and female sexuality were practically demonized. Whereas my brothers were encouraged to chase as much 'tail' as possible because 'that's just men'. While I think knowing why you're triggered a certain way can be helpful, I don't actually know what to do with the information. I can't fix my past, I worry relentlessly about the future and raising my kids (1 boy, 2 girls) with healthy sexuality, but my present is so foggy and messed up, I feel like I'm in a hole I'll never be able to climb from. And I keep going back, practically daily. My husband is an amazing man, but currently I feel like he just doesn't find me attractive, at 38 weeks pregnant, which he denies, and I can admit I am likely projecting. I'm huge, in pain, and hormonal, on top of that, I have been sick for almost a week and can't sleep. I know I'm not in the best place and my struggles stem from that. I just don't know what to do. I'd ask for help, but my husband works and does as much as he can, and I have no one else to reach out to. No family or friends and can't afford to pay someone to help. I'm just so lost. As a side note, I am religious, and that shapes a lot of how I view myself and my past, I'm working through the purity culture lies that I've been taught, but it's hard to delete most of your childhood. Unfortunately a lot of this years stress has been questioning my faith and where I fit in in the world. Which currently is nowhere, I don't have a belief group I attend regularly and don't even know where to start with it, I struggle with trusting anyone anymore. Sorry if this post went everywhere, I guess I just needed to vent. If there's anyone who was in a similar situation, I'd love to talk. Especially if you walked through this and still kept your faith or found your faith.

Hi! Please let me know if this isn’t the right sub to post this, I hope it doesn’t trigger anyone I’m just really worried and want to know if anyone has gone through this before.

I (19F) have been sexually assaulted at age three and for a short time through elementary school. I had been exposed to porn by a friend when I was 8 and developed a masterbating and porn addiction up until I was maybe 17. I have stopped watching porn about 2 years ago and don’t masterbate as much, probably only a couple times in the last years.

Whenever I masterbate, I never “finish” nothing comes out. Many times when I’ve done it I don’t even feel aroused, I just do it to do it. Because I don’t “finish” I had this thing where if I started, I couldn’t stop because now there was a strange feeling and i wanted it to go away, I wouldn’t stop until my arm burned or until I had drank enough water to pee and the feeling would go away after.

When I was younger, I would masterbate all the time: when I slept with my mom or my sister id masterbate and just tell her I was really itchy and was scratching, I remember a time I was in 4th grade and got the urge so I started masterbating in secret during class. When I was a little older I was playing outside with my friends and we were talking and I again masterbated pretty much right in front of her. I was very hypersexual and whenever I had boyfriends it seemed to get worse. When I was 14 I masterbated in the bathroom connected to the room I was in with my nephew who was 11 at the time. I was texting my boyfriend during this and i think i was aroused by the fact that it was bad and there was someone in the room, but I can’t remember as it was 5 years ago.

This is all very humiliating to admit and what I’m really worried about is the line blurring between having an addiction and making mistakes to just being a horrible and sick person.The last thing I remember is that when I was 16, I had been masterbating and my friend called me and i felt like I wasn’t done yet and I continued to masterbate for maybe a couple seconds or minutes into the call. I’m not sure if it was when she went away or if it was just when it got silent I honestly can’t remember anymore and it really scares me. I feel awful because as I was getting older I should’ve known better. I had forgotten most of the things but they come up from time to time. Never once in any of those times did I get any arousal from the person involved, it was just me and my sick addiction and carelessness. I feel like I’ve committed crimes and am no better than any convicted sexual offenders we’ve all heard stories about. I’ve been in therapy before but only for a couple weeks as my mom thought I should be better and didn’t need to go anymore. I really wanna go back but I’m extremely afraid, there are so many other things that I’ve done and I’m humiliated and feel like I should be in jail.

Please if anyone has gone through anything similar or have advice or anything at all please tell me

Hello women, I've been consuming pornography since I was 10 years old and it has RUINED my life. I've developed curiosities that I certainly wouldn't have without pornography, I've become addicted to vibrators, Vaginismus, comparison and sexualization of everything, difficulty having orgasms, difficulty with relationships, and I started very early and it corrupted me. I'm picking up the pieces of my self-esteem and sexuality, I managed to overcome vaginismus and vibrators but I still have difficulty feeling real pleasure and enjoying the moment, I keep remembering the scenes and I can't just feel things as they normally would, today I relapsed after more than 200 days without and I'm going to reset the timer, how has it been for you?

I'm 19 and I have been trying to stop this since I was 15. Porn took everything away from me. I don't want to explain since it hurts to think about, but watching porn really made me go from kinda depressed teenager to downright miserable adult.

Every year I tell myself I'll change, and every year I fail again. I feel terrible with myself. So hypocritical, immoral, perverted, and without a care about how the porn industry treats the people in it (especially women and girls).

I feel like it rotted my soul, like it tore apart my innocence and now I can never get it back. I can never be the good, decent, kind person I wanted to be as a child, all because of porn; so I might as well go down as the worst piece of crap ever.

It's truly tempting to just give up and be a disappointment for the rest of my life. A lazy bitch that watches awful stuff instead of working hard on the future her family wants for her.

I feel like I'll be picking up the pieces of my terrible decisions for the rest of my life if I decide to get better; but I'd like to be clean from this starting my twenties at the very least.

Still, I have no idea how to change. I'm really scared that maybe I'm simply incapable, and I'll be this pathetic individual for the rest of my life.

masturbating to porn made me experience severe cramps for a solid hour

i’ve masturbated before and experienced abdominal cramps for maybe like five minutes. then it washes away

this time i was breaking the rules and y’all, fuck me dude. don’t ever masturbate to porn again 😭😭

i went to the toilet to pee but instead began popping. great. then i suddenly began experiencing what was one of the worst cramps ever. not abdominal cramps but instead my uterus itself was in fucking pain. i knew my period cycle was coming close and it should’ve hit soon but oh my god. i was shitting too so i had to finish quickly while experiencing those cramps. i quickly wiped myself down and washed my hands and boom back in my bed i went. atp i’m shivering because i was sweating and now it was cooling on my skin and oh god y’all. that was fucking horrible. the combination of severe cramps and shivering was terrible. i was in bed cradling myself trying to stop all this mess.

i basically made myself start my period by masturbating to porn. man fuck this.