While I am still not free of addiction, I have been able to tone down the content in the porn I see over a few years.

But I used to watch porn that got progressively more violent, at one point I found myself watching videos which I'm sure were shot non consentually(spy cam/groping). At the moment it was the taboo and the shame that would make me watch (and masturbate) to it, but after I finish the guilt would be horrible. It became a cycle, watching it over and over to rid myself of the guilt and make myself numb to it, making excuses.

It's been a while since I've seen porn like that, I still end up relapsing but end up watching stuff with known porn stars, so at least I know it wasn't non consentual while watching.

I feel so guilty each time I hear about someone being a victim of revenge porn/ spycams. I know what I did was wrong, and I am constantly trying to become better but I can forgive myself for this. How do I stop the twisting in my gut all the time over the past?

I have only been porn free for a week. I have tried many times to stop but I have never been successful. My boyfriend of 1 year does not know that I struggle with this. I havent seen him for a week and I was super excited for the bedroom activities tonight. I got dressed up for the occasion, but he ended up finishing without doing anything to me. This is not normal for him, but right now it feels like the end of the world to me. I told him I was disappointed and now he is asleep.

I feel like relapsing so bad right now. I feel like I will always be a slave to it and I will never find someone that takes care of my needs.

This may not be the case for everyone but.. a lot of porn sites are banned in Texas. It really limited my options and I spent more time looking for videos. To the point where I said fuck it 😭

Sorry if it’s an ignorant question it’s just not something I’ve been able to consider too much, even if I know I would probably benefit. I believe I’d have some form of counseling available through my university. I don’t think insurance is much of an option especially because that is through my parents. If I’m looking on my own are there certain things to pay attention to?

I joined Reddit specifically to find groups like these as there is almost no support exclusively for women who struggle with porn (I'm 26 in the UK) and I feel so alone in this!!! I have been watching porn since I was around 12 and like other girls on here it just started with kissing videos on YouTube and some awful late night tv show that delved into the world of kink and fetish - this became an obsession and is what I think spiralled my problem. I've been trying to quit porn for ages and have just relapsed again this morning and just need to speak with other women who are experiencing similar things. I am overwhelmed with how it impacts me, I feel disgusted with myself and it makes me feel like less of a woman. I would give anything to reverse what I've done.

Anyway I've used toys since forever and it has massively impacted my sensitivity, my orgasms are barely noticeable now and I can't remember the last I climaxed in sex, a lot of the time I end up crying after sex as i get so frustrated and it's horrible for my partner to deal with too. We barely have sex now because I'm just too scared of the inevitable emotion that comes with it. I've never been able to orgasm from penetration (I think due to CSA trauma) and this furthered the obsession with clitoral stimulation so everything just snowballed. Does anyone else have experience with this and if so, will my sensitivity come back?

I don't really know if this is the right place, but I posted this on r/NoStupidQuestions and it got removed because it "gets asked to much," so I'm trying here.

I don't know if what I do is unhealthy or not, and am looking for advice.

Basically, I (female) watch porn, I don't really want to I hate the industry, I try to mainly read things or watch porn that isn't violent or fake to make myself feel a little better about it all.

I'm a teenager, I'm not necessarily horny a lot, in my earlier years sure but it's really slowed down. Most of the time I masturbate because it relaxes me, it takes my mind off things, gives me something to do, it helps me sleep at the end of the day, and lets face it cumming feels really good.

I can't really cum when I'm not horny, so I watch porn to 'get myself in the mood?' It doesn't really make my mind that horny, but it makes my body 'react.'

I find myself not wanting to do it, and feeling guilty after, more extreme than post-nut clarity. It's become sort of robotic, I can't sleep well without it, and I have a harder time getting horny without porn. I get anxiety of being caught if I'm going at it for hours so porn is an easy solution, I get to get off in less time, so less risk of being caught, win win?

I've had limited irl sexual experience, one time I was with someone and we went down on each other, I had trouble getting off, I don't know if it was nerves, or if the person was not that good (haven't had any other experience to compare,) but I did eventually kind of cum (I think)? But to do so I had to imagine porn rather than get off on the moment.

Another thing is my mind starts to wonder if I'm just looking at a wall, I'll start to think of random things, and things I don't really want to think of while masturbating, watching porn gives me something to focus on to help me 'focus on my task?'

I've tried to quit porn, but it feels like it makes my life worse to quit than to keep going, I have trouble sleeping, at the end of the day laying in bed being stuck with my thoughts kind of drives me crazy, I just want to relax, my only other option is mindlessly scrolling through TikTok which doesn't feel a whole lot better? and obviously doesn't give me an orgasm.

I struggle with binge eating and the only thing that really helps is distracting myself, but late at night there's not a lot of distractions I can do, especially living with my parents I'm kind of confound to my room. In the end I'll start trying to get off without it and it just wont happen, so I give in and watch or read something.

I don't know if I am a porn addict, and I don't really know if what I'm doing is that bad? I don't feel like it's extremely unhealthy but at the same time it doesn't feel that healthy, I'm able to stop for weeks and live semi-normally, it just feels better when I don't?

I don't really know if this is the right place, but I posted this on r/NoStupidQuestions and it got removed because it "gets asked to much," so I'm trying here.

I don't know if what I do is unhealthy or not, and am looking for advice.

Basically, I (female) watch porn, I don't really want to I hate the industry, I try to mainly read things or watch porn that isn't violent or fake to make myself feel a little better about it all.

I'm a teenager, I'm not necessarily horny a lot, in my earlier years sure but it's really slowed down. Most of the time I masturbate because it relaxes me, it takes my mind off things, gives me something to do, it helps me sleep at the end of the day, and lets face it cumming feels really good.

I can't really cum when I'm not horny, so I watch porn to 'get myself in the mood?' It doesn't really make my mind that horny, but it makes my body 'react.'

I find myself not wanting to do it, and feeling guilty after, more extreme than post-nut clarity. It's become sort of robotic, I can't sleep well without it, and I have a harder time getting horny without porn. I get anxiety of being caught if I'm going at it for hours so porn is an easy solution, I get to get off in less time, so less risk of being caught, win win?

I've had limited irl sexual experience, one time I was with someone and we went down on each other, I had trouble getting off, I don't know if it was nerves, or if the person was not that good (haven't had any other experience to compare,) but I did eventually kind of cum (I think)? But to do so I had to imagine porn rather than get off on the moment.

Another thing is my mind starts to wonder if I'm just looking at a wall, I'll start to think of random things, and things I don't really want to think of while masturbating, watching porn gives me something to focus on to help me 'focus on my task?'

I've tried to quit porn, but it feels like it makes my life worse to quit than to keep going, I have trouble sleeping, at the end of the day laying in bed being stuck with my thoughts kind of drives me crazy, I just want to relax, my only other option is mindlessly scrolling through TikTok which doesn't feel a whole lot better? and obviously doesn't give me an orgasm.

I struggle with binge eating and the only thing that really helps is distracting myself, but late at night there's not a lot of distractions I can do, especially living with my parents I'm kind of confound to my room. In the end I'll start trying to get off without it and it just wont happen, so I give in and watch or read something.

I don't know if I am a porn addict, and I don't really know if what I'm doing is that bad? I don't feel like it's extremely unhealthy but at the same time it doesn't feel that healthy, I'm able to stop for weeks and live semi-normally, it just feels better when I don't?

Found this community today. I feel like a freak especially because if any of my friends or family knew I imagine how shocked they would be at this shadow part of me I bury.

I’m trying to get help but finding it seems hard. Especially if anyone else is religious, I just can’t see myself talking to a church leader or anything like that about it. Feeling the shame and feeling pathetic about it is making it really hard.

Someone from this subreddit dm’d me links to porn subs 🙁

Like the title says I’ve been attracted to women for as long as I can remember but I’ve also been watching lesbian porn since I was little 11 and Ive been spiralling recently into more kinks. I’m really confused about if my sexuality is porn induced or not.

I guess we move.. i was doing so well

I really recommend buying or having sex toys while starting your journey being porn-free. At least for me, they help a lot with decreasing the urge to masturbate.

Previously, when I was porn free for three months, I trashed all my sex toys because I thought it would make it harder to keep from watching porn. This time around (I’ve only been porn free for 8 days), I feel like having a sex toy helps me stay away from porn because it makes masturbation unenjoyable for me. Masturbating leaves me sexually frustrated because I can only orgasm by watching porn, so the urge I feel to masturbate or watch porn is lessening by a lot. It’s classical conditioning I think.

I just wanted to share what has been helpful for me during this journey. Also what do you think about sex toys while being porn free, especially in the beginning?

Posted before but looking for more participants, thank you already!

This is posted with permission from Moderation team!

I’m a female researcher looking for volunteers for a study by the Psychology Department of University of Amsterdam on pornography use.

What's the Study About?

To better understand what constitutes pornography use and how different factors relate to one another. Ultimately we want to inform treatment!

What's Involved?

Complete 1 questionnaire (on average in less than 10 minutes). Participation is voluntary and you can withdraw your consent to participate in the survey at any time. Respondents are anonymous and no contact information is collected.

Who Can Participate?

Anyone 16+ interested in contributing to scientific research.

How to Participate?

Click here to start the questionnaire or access directly via this link: https://uva.fra1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cPmhMburU7Qsz3w

Thank you for participating in the survey!

If you have opened the link but not yet submitted, you have 7 days to complete the survey before it is closed.

Thanks again to everyone who is helping!

If you have any questions, you can always message me or contact me here or through this email: [research.pornography@gmail.com].

This is posted with permission from Moderation team!

Hi, 21F here. Someone from r/pornfree has suggested me this sub so I'm reposting what I've said there here, if that's okay!

I don't remember the exact age I was first exposed to online pornography, but it must've been in early middle school days, age 12-13. I used to be very active on online Google+ communities about Japanese anime with my friends at the time, when one day, I got a NFSW (also anime-themed) group recommended to me.

Not even having started puberty yet, and not knowing precisely what sex really was at the time, I was curious, so I clicked: this was one of my worst mistakes, and the beginning of a rabbithole that affected greatly my development all throughout my teenage years. While I didn't saw images of real people, I was exposed to a great deal of truly disturbing, degenerate images, animated gifs and videos, as well as written stories and roleplay about extremely violent and degrading BDSM dynamics, 99% against women: women beaten, on a leash, enslaved, etc. Stomach-turning stuff.

And although I was completely disgusted by it, my curiosity and me starting puberty took over this repulsion and I kept coming back to it. By the time I was 14 or 15, I was pretty desensitized to it, at least to the animated stuff; porn with real people was still too much for me. The thing is, I masturbated almost daily from my early teens to me being 18-19, but felt pretty much asexual outside of that: I wasn't interested in irl people, no one. No crushes, nothing. Granted, living in a medium-sized town, the selection wasn't very large, but still.

I feel like watching pornography that is so violent and far-removed from actual sex in normal relationships has stunted my development in a way. Sexuality has always been something I was very uncomfortable with, not only because it was extremely taboo in my group of girl friends (my parents also never gave me the 'talk', never even explained me what periods were etc, I had to figure it out on my own), but also because I truly couldn't relate to girls my age. From the time I was very young - to now -, it was obvious that I wasn't interested in boys the way other girls were. It was as if I lacked the programming, the ability of being interested or not in boys: I didn't notice them, and I genuinely couldn't tell if a guy was attractive or not: Sure, I knew what the beauty standards were, and I can still today appreciate the beauty of a man, if he has interesting facial features etc, but that's how far it goes.

I even had a guy best friend with whom I became obsessed with at 17 like no one before (I thought it was a crush, but I had terrible anxiety and chronic pain for the two years we were friends, and I was basically living my life vicariously through him), and yeah we were super-duper compatible, he had really pretty almond eyes, a nice smile, and I loved him so much as a person, but when I realized I was highly uncomfortable being too close with him physically, that I didn't want to kiss him whatsoever and the thought of doing even more than that literally gave me anxiety, and not the good kind, I knew for sure I could never be in a relationship with a man. It simply wasn't for me. I entertained the thought of being a lesbian for the first time there: out of nowhere, I looked up some amateur, romantic videos of girls making out and having sex, and there, I knew it was the kind of intimacy I wanted irl. I always felt like having a boyfriend was something I have to do, eventually, but suddenly, this new option, of having a girl/woman as a long term partner, felt like something I *want* to do. It was more on a conscious level and couldn't really get aroused like I did with the super violent stuff, but I simply liked what I was seeing, haha: romantic videos with a straight couple didn't evoke that kind of want in me, I found it a little gross and just unappealing. Anyways, this exploration didn't last long, and I didn't give it more thought for months as I was too busy with other life problems.

Fast forward to age 19, a year ago: I have a friendship break up with my guy friend, I feel lonely but get help for my pain, get on an SSRI, and as a result, my anxiety almost disappears, my life gets so much better: except that my sex drive died. Not entirely, but still, it's extremely hard for me to get aroused or get an O. Not impossible, it just takes a lot of time. And while I will probably get off of it in a month or so, now that I'm almost turning 21, I am horrified that the only thing that gets me off while on these meds are the hardcore stuff, and this stuff only. I hate it, I'm disgusted watching it, regret it later, but I'm still doing it, and then I hate myself for it.

I hate that I didn't even had the time to develop my sexuality and sexual orientation that I got addicted to violent stuff involving either men abusing women, treating them like objects. It makes me want to throw up afterwards. Yet I can't stop.

Then I feel confused, am I really a lesbian if I take so much time to get off imagining myself with a woman, but not if I see images of literal abuse *by men*? If I can't get off to normal stuff anymore, most of the time? Can't even feel aroused? I feel like a horrible, disgusting person. I wish I could some back and see the little girl I was at age 12 and make myself stay away from it, but I can't. The evil has been done.

Now, I have a few questions, and it doesn't really matter if you who are reading this are are a lesbian or not, because I desperately need advice and people to relate to:

• Is it possible to become satisfied with soft romantic stuff again? (how I would like to have sex irl?) Is it possible to rewire your brain and only rely on the physical sensations or imagination? I hate porn for a variety of reasons and thinking that I can't really orgasm without it makes me feel despressed, truly.
• Have you also watched stuff that is not in concordance to your sexual orientation? Does it also feel distressing - watching gay stuff when you're straight for example - ?
• Is it possible that porn has stunted my grown and prevented me from learning what, and WHO I really like, irl? I feel I have become apathetic to everything else... Has it also happened to you? Being disinterested in women/men in real life?
• Finally, a little less about porn addiction, but about SSRIs, if anyone has any experience with them: I'm genuinely terrified my libido will never come back as it was before. Has anyone any experience coming off of it and how it influenced your sex life?

Thank you for reading.

Hi! I finally came without porn after God knows how long, maybe even the first time. But i feel weird. Idk if it counts as a relapse or not because the addiction lies with porn and not masturbating. Any advice appreciated :)

I've been relapsing so much this month it's crazy, I've probably done it like 10 times when usually I can go a month without it. The escalation is just getting worse and worse. I cant remember the last time i felt aroused by vanilla porn, and I even went to an online chat room to find men to send me rape threats which I haven't done in years. I can't believe ive been doing this shit since i was like 15. I have avoided the urges a few times though, by immediately shutting off my phone or taking a cold shower.

i've been on a mix of antidepressants in the last year and as soon as i started (then ceased) snris—as well as started up school again—my desire for sex has been pretty eh. i've also been in a relationship for the last year w someone with a vagina so having sex takes more effort/time.

my uptick in porn watching has increased due to feeling like i've lost an aspect of myself, so porn is my desperate attempt to get it back. i've ALWAYS been a sexual person and i feel broken with my lack of desire to regularly masturbate. i'd always take other people being in my experience rationally, "oh libido rises/falls, you're probably just stressed i wouldn't worry about it", but i wasn't prepared to confront this in myself. so i turned to porn, because the novelty gets an immediate rise out of me that i never experience with myself or real people.

i'm actively hiding it and feeling guilty/ashamed when i fantasize about porn scenarios to orgasm during sex. most recently i've left the room to go masturbate in the bathroom to porn on my phone.. this is literally rock bottom. i don't even know how to stop when my self esteem is so low, i probably even use it as an act of self harm considering i fucking hate watching porn. i hate novelty seeking, i hate the type of porn i watch, i hate feeling and seeing the results of my brain being deformed by porn, i hate turning on my values.

i used to feel wet just by giving my partner a hug and we'd have sex as soon as we'd get home... this is my longest relationship so maybe i just haven't considered how libido ebbs and flows, i just figured the sexual honeymoon phase wouldn't be over this damn fast. i'm so painfully attracted to my partner but i just get no sexual reaction anymore, and it's nothing they did.

i don't want to watch/do this shit anymore! and i hate looking up advice and getting those shitty reddit & quora posts that state "porn is not the enemy" "don't blame porn" "porn isn't bad" from people that lack critical thinking and/or have never faced the repercussions of porn on any scale. it's now affecting me more than i thought possible. this is all such a bummer. :/

TW: r**e, CSA

Like many of us on this sub, I'm a CSA survivor and got introduced to porn by my abusers starting age 10. I'm actually at a good place in life. Years of therapy are paying off, my PTSD is way less crippling than it was, along with my psychiatrist we're considering the end of anti depressant. I love my job and my life overall is pretty good. But I'm still addicted to PMO as it's one of the only thing I can't talk about with my therapist because of how ashamed I am. So I still struggle a lot with it, some times are better than others. It's like the only persistent gray/dark cloud in my sky and I really want to get rid of that.

Anyways, back to the point, I watched little Reindeer and seeing >!how he spiraled after the assaults and!< how lingering are his troubles, it sent me back to a state of despair that I've been free of for years. I'm so triggered by it and I'm in a strong PTSD episode, with full panic, dissociation and stuff. I felt like I was seeing myself on screen and I'm terrified that it's never gonna get better and that I will always be traumatized by my past and indulging in PMO and dangerous sexual interactions because of it. I feel doomed for eternity and I really don't see an end to all of this. I'm just so helpless and screwed

I was doing well, really, I think I achieved a week clean but then I relapsed. I have unread mesages from people who tried to help me but I didn't reply to after I started to watch porn again. I tried to distract myself with other things and even turning off my phone but here I am again. I don't know if it's okay for me to post this but well, I'm just lost

I'm (23NB, AFAB) currently trying to stop consuming written porn and roleplaying with AI chatbots, but I find it hard to stay motivated.

I've thought of something like: if I don't do any of those two in a week, I can get myself something nice the next week.

But I'm also currently trying to combat my shopping addiction as well, so I'm not sure if this will be something good for the long run. Any suggestions?

I've (29F) been trying to give up porn for months after watching since I was about 10. For context I have only orgasmed with a man a couple of times and only with a toy. By myself I can orgasm using a pillow or toy but not my fingers. I'd like to quit so I can orgasm during sex and by myself with fingers.

My longest streak is now which is a week. This is my ovulation week and usually I'm so aroused I watch porn and masturbate multiple times a day but now, I feel nothing. Like I want to watch porn for the easy orgasm and comfort but not because I'm actually in the mood. Has anyone experienced this? I'm confused because I thought my libido would increase not the other way around?

So I masturbate daily by watching porn from the last year I tried many times to stop but after a few days I return back to it and I feel now that I won't enjoy sex because porn is the only thing that turns me on so is there anything I can do to stop and is anyone else having this problem?

u/FabulousCake6105

he sent me porn hoping id relapse , mods please ban him , thank you

This is posted with permission from Moderation team!
I’m a female researcher looking for volunteers for a study by the Psychology Department of University of Amsterdam on pornography use.
What's the Study About?
To better understand what constitutes pornography use and how different factors relate to one another. Ultimately we want to inform treatment!
What's Involved?
Complete 1 questionnaire (on average in less than 10 minutes). Participation is voluntary and you can withdraw your consent to participate in the survey at any time. Respondents are anonymous and no contact information is collected.
Who Can Participate?
Anyone 16+ interested in contributing to scientific research.
How to Participate?
Click here to start the questionnaire or access directly via this link: https://uva.fra1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_cPmhMburU7Qsz3w
Thank you for participating in the survey!
If you have opened the link but not yet submitted, you have 7 days to complete the survey before it is closed.
Thanks again to everyone who is helping!
If you have any questions, you can always message me or contact me here or through this email: [research.pornography@gmail.com].
This is posted with permission from Moderation team!

hello!

i am 18f and I’ve been reading erotica/basically porn since i accidentally stumbled across it when i was maybe 11. i started watching visual porn much later, during high school, when i had already developed kinks, etc. it got bad because i used to use it to fall asleep. i didn’t even know what i was doing at the time but i developed a dependency on the calming feeling i got when i masturbated.

now thankfully i have been off porn for the majority of 2024 since maybe february. my self image has improved a lot and i am able to masturbate without stimulus now which is a great step forward! (btw i have been trying to quit for ~2 years but this is the main time where i know it has actually gone because i’ve been slowly decreasing my use for the entire time)

however, i’m still dealing with so many lasting effects. for example, i’m disgusted by some of the kinks i used to enjoy, but they are still the main thing that gets me off. i can’t feel aroused by the thought of normal sex at all. i don’t find people IRL attractive. and although i’m able to masturbate w/o porn, i still think almost exclusively of the scenes i saw when i do it.

the other problem is attention issues and high stress. these have only gotten worse since quitting. i thought that once i quit i’d become more normal and high functioning but i’m worried that will never actually happen. will i ever be able to “fix” my brain or are these problems i’ll be stuck with??

Had a relapse last night and I started crying because I’m too ashamed to tell my mum even though she’s aware of my addiction, so it’s like I’m going through this alone in my room. I’m just so tired and I feel trapped like a prisoner by my addiction inside my own body. I tried breathing exercises to control my urges but it’s like no matter what I do, as soon as I get an urge it’s just gonna inevitably lead to a relapse. Sigh

I’m so tired of this.

I'm starting a porn free journey, I've been lying to myself for a while, I don't know how long, and that's the scary part, I don't realize how much time is passing and how many years of my life I'm sacrificing to this vice. I thought I had control since it's erotica only, but it's porn regardless! And what control do I have when I know I don't want to do it yet I cave in and then fall asleep full of shame and sadness. At this point it's fair to call it an addiction.

How to be sure my bf doesn't have PMO and is honest?

I'm struggling with a semi dead bedroom situation. My bf and me have been together for 4 years. In the beginning we had more sex but nothing out of the ordinary. Sex was fun and I felt emotionally connected to a man during sex for the first time. Like my heart connected with him or something. I really love him and I feel that he loves me a lot but he almost never initiates sex. In the past we most often had sex during the night. But I'm very sensitive for insomnia so I had to stop his advances at night. I couldn't fall asleep anymore when he woke me up. He does however still do it sometimes, I wake up with his hands all over me. And when I ask him about it the next morning he says he doesn't remember he did that. I'm assuming he's just half unconscious when he does that. I call it "sleepwalk touching", but I still think it's peculiar.

I have almost never initiated sex until I started nofap. I felt like my libido didn't arise spontaneously but now that I'm not (P)MO'ing anymore I found that it does come up and I do initiate sex. But it's been 3 times now that he has rejected me. It gives the impression that he has a lower sex drive than me but I'm getting scared he would have (had) a secret PMO addiction. He doesn't have ED (as far as I can tell) but does have PE and his sperm is very watery, completely clear. I've honestly always been kind of worried about that. The PE isn't fun but the biggest additional problem is that he really doesn't (dare?) to touch me a lot. He sometimes really feels like a "vegetable" tbh, he's so so passive. He doesn't finger me or give me oral, only when I ask for it. He always says about it that he's scared but I think this is really strange since we've been together for 4 years and I've tried to make him comfortable so many times and saying that he doesn't have to worry about it... But he keeps being extremely passive. Some of this behavior I can see out of the bedroom. He would sometimes randomly ask my permission for very minor things or say sorry for very small things. But other times he pretty violently gropes my body, breasts, pinches me, humps me, pulls my shirt up for "laughs and giggles". We're playing around and I'm always laughing, but I don't understand this contradiction. Those situations have never been a precursor for sex. He gropes me but doesn't actually seem to want to have sex. I've asked him about it if that's actually a moment he wants to have sex but he always give me responses like "i don't know, maybe". What do you mean you're not sure if you want to have sex if you're pulling my shirt up to see my breasts? When we play he can be so wild/hyperactive sometimes. But in bed he's completely passive. One of the first times we had sex he grabbed my ponytail and tugged on it without asking me beforehand. I didn't really dislike it nor like it. After that I just commented that he grabbed my hair. He said he thought I would like that. I said I didn't really like that. And he never did it again. At one point we had a conversation after sex and he said to me that I could always tell if I was into anything more kinky, that it's okay. I asked him if he was into anything like that and he said no. But I got such a strong feeling that he wasn't being honest with me. I knew that I wasn't 100% honest myself when he asked this. I've definitely had porn-induced fetishes but from my sexual experiences I already knew I didn't like to re-enact 90% of those fantasies. Only some elements in very particular moments do feel okay for me. So I said no as I knew I didn't want to re-enact anything from porn, at least not so early in the relationship. And that was it, a conversation of 3 years ago. I feel like he's become progressively more passive in bed with me. No ED, just PE. No attention for my pleasure. He always says it's from anxiety but nothing's changing or getting better. I know he's sensitive for addictions. He had a weed addiction (that he quit thanks to me) and probably still has a gaming addiction.

I just don't understand the situation and every time I try to talk about it or ask about it he says he doesn't know why he feels like this, why he never initiates sex or why that he has anxiety. It's extremely difficult for him to talk about emotions, inner thoughts. He doesn't seem to be self aware or he's hiding things out of shame. It's the same pattern in other issues we had in the past.

Just now I tried to initiate sex again, but he said he was too tired... I went away and for some reason I got the feeling he would masturbate once I left. I have however never "busted" him on this. I can't shake the feeling that he's hiding something and isn't being honest with me. I definitely know he has a strong capacity for lying. His sense of humor is to bait people, he makes them believe certain things that aren't true and he makes this "joke" last a long time. He has an extreme pokerface when he does that and both me and friends and colleagues get frequently fooled by him.

What can I do to be sure he doesn't have a secret PMO habit? How can I make him open up about porn and sex and masturbation? I'm trying more and more to talk about it with him. He said last time it feels really uncomfortable and strange for him to talk about it. I just want to be sure if this is a problem of low sex drive / pure anxiety and not something hidden.

Hi, I'm (21F) trying to fight this addiction (finally accepted that I have one) and move forward. I just can't believe how much damage it has made into my life and I really want to stop feeling so guilty. Any recommendations would be truly appreciated.

I'm 22 years old, I got sa when I was only 5 years old. I got introduced to porn at really young age at 6 or 7 by my cousins. My longest was 6 months but after that I fall for it again and again. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't have sex life since 1 year and half. And I think about porn everytime when I do nothing it makes me feel bad to replace, I have deficit attention and I have a lot of anxiety because of it. I'm not doing well at work nor my studies. And I don't want a sex friend because it makes me feel empty. I don't know what to do anymore and yeah I went to therapy but here is so expensive like 60€ for 1 session not even an hour