/r/physicsjokes
Title says it all! Go on and post 'em if you got 'em.
And remember, anything that doesn't matter has no mass!
The serious (and cool!) /r/physics
/r/shittyaskscience for when you're just not satisfied with the proper answer.
/r/physicsjokes
Isn't that mean?
During my upbringing, I attended a strict boarding school with a schedule that left little room for free time. My last class typically extended until 9:50 PM, and the power would shut off by 10:30 PM. In order to ensure ample time for everyone to take hot showers, and driven by curiosity about how things operate internally, I attempted to apply this curiosity to solve a specific problem. Noticing that when everything else was turned off, the corridor sensor lights remained powered, I deduced they must be connected to a separate circuit.
The corridor lights were traditional Chinese incandescent bulbs, hanging high from the ceiling. Along with five other roommates, we moved a wooden desk from our dormitory to the corridor. Standing on the desk, I just reached the light bulb. After removing the bulb's casing, I pulled out its wires, identifying the live wire (red) and neutral wire (blue) based on my knowledge from physics class. Swiftly processing these wires—partially stripping the insulation, folding the inner wires, and twisting them tightly. A roommate handed me a Bull power strip (renowned for its quality in China), and we unscrewed the main plug of the power strip, inserting the live wire into the L socket and the neutral wire into the N socket. Since the light bulb lacked a ground wire, we left the central hole of the Bull power strip empty. Naively, I didn't take additional safety measures, assuming that standing on the wooden desk provided insulation. Fortunately, no major issues occurred. After completing these tasks, we used the power strip as the main switch for our dormitory's electrical supply.
The first successful day brought excitement, as we hadn't anticipated that a few simple physics and electrical operations could solve such a significant life problem. Due to it being a "first offense," we exercised restraint, promptly returning the wooden desk to the corridor after showering to restore everything to its original state. As we continued these covert activities daily, without any apparent risk of discovery, our boldness and dissatisfaction grew. We even extended to staying up all night without restoring things, with some pulling all-nighters for online classes or gaming. We went so far as to connect the "main switch" to adjacent dormitories, inviting others to share in our joyful experience.
After three consecutive days of shared electricity, a light bulb burned out due to circuit overload. When the teacher, replacing the bulb, noticed traces of insulation being cut from the wires, they reviewed surveillance footage and discovered our actions.
Yo mama so fat, she causes Lyman Alpha blobs to collapse.
"I told you not to eat exotic peppers," said the conventional friendly galaxy.
"I wanted to taste the nebula. Don't be a supermassive black hole." said the spiral galaxy.
From title, can we assume that the universe is not expanding but we are just above propelled solar gas by Sagittarius A*, and rest of the universe is static.
Inside a physics police squad car:
Officer 1: We've got a report here of a green photon being created at 0K.
Officer 2: Are you sure it was green?
Officer 1: Yup, says right here wavelength is 500 nm.
Officer 2: Damn, we'll never find it then!
To see an unknown quant-titty
Douglas Adams made the number 42 famous. But there is great speculation about the question whose answer was given as 42 by a planet-sized computer calculating away for ages.
It has come to our attention that the total age of our Sun, measured in galactic years, is 42.
Coincidence?
Ka-meson's
Schrödinger: describes the cat experiment
Plato: I accept that there may be a cat in superposition of dead and alive states in the world of forms. But in the real, imperfect world, we can only see imperfect imitations of the perfect Schrödinger cat, just like we never see a perfect triangle in the real world. So we can only observe either a dead cat or a live cat.
what do you think ?
They did it!
...is our light cone of shame.
Have I balanced the entropy?
A: Quark Quark Quark
Sin & Cos: Am I joke to you? Forier & Euler: We got you!
The sub-atomic particles organised a party. The bosons, as usual, were late. Eventually, a photon wandered in.
"Where have you you been?" demanded the quarks.
"Where? What is where?" asked the photon.
An electron was emitted as a beta particle. As it left, it was observed to say goodbye.
"Did that electron just bid us farewell?" said a photon in an electron cloud.
"I believe so," said an anonymous quark.
" How is that possible?" demanded the photon, "Even if he waved goodbye .........
I fear while trying to transplant my words to this forum, I may have inadvertently reproduced them needlessly.
Please note, I ain't no bot. (NB: Eric B. and Rakim captured lightning in a bottle).
when, during a team meeting, a self-proclaimed antiphoton told an antiquark, "Victory is in visualising that your triumph is the only possible outcome."
"That's a bit of a reach," replied the antiquark.
"Well, at least I'd rather put myself out there and let my energy be the stuff of legends." said the antiphoton.
"That's your problem," raged the antiphoton, "Despite your great theoretical potential, your mind remains trapped in dark matters."
I somehow managed to misuse the simple mechanics of reddit, then wondered why my slightly chuckle-worthy jokes weren't even noticed. I will try to repost them in the correct forum.
I attended a lecture on subatomic particles by a professor who also happened to be a cow. He talked about quarks, which I found strangely charming. And when he began to discuss leptons, his speech was fascinating. All I could think was, "Muon, friend. Muon!"
If you are a physist, but know nothing about constellations, at least learn Ursa Minor – that's the bear minimum.