/r/physicsjokes

Photograph via snooOG

Title says it all! Go on and post 'em if you got 'em.

And remember, anything that doesn't matter has no mass!

/r/physicsjokes

22,565 Subscribers

5

NGC objects are messy

but M objects are Messier

0 Comments
2024/03/10
08:05 UTC

2

“License and registration please. Do you know how fast you were going?”

C

1 Comment
2024/03/06
00:02 UTC

14

Is the reason why I still haven't received the result of the part-time job I applied for a month ago because the universe is expanding?

3 Comments
2024/03/03
03:11 UTC

11

Studying mechanics (it's all a lie don't trust the teachers)

0 Comments
2024/03/01
20:41 UTC

33

I asked my physics professor to explain the disadvantage of a short lever to me but he said it wasn't a good moment.

1 Comment
2024/02/28
16:56 UTC

8

Why do hipster planetary scientists prefer the Hadean?

Because they liked the Earth before it was cool.

0 Comments
2024/02/28
11:28 UTC

9

Differential equations, a rap

1 Comment
2024/02/20
21:14 UTC

3

Riddle

Why did the particle stop moving?

6 Comments
2024/01/22
20:24 UTC

164

Is he helping?

16 Comments
2024/01/20
01:19 UTC

2

I'm going to the beach next week, gonna have a dip in the Dirac Sea.

I won't look at the water, or the waves will collapse.

2 Comments
2024/01/02
04:52 UTC

29

Name a more iconic duo, I will wait..

7 Comments
2023/12/26
00:06 UTC

9

I bought a new energy efficient LED light bulb, the package says it uses 10 kWh per 1000 hours operation

It's measured in what?

2 Comments
2023/12/21
14:11 UTC

79

Xmas card for my physics teacher

11 Comments
2023/12/14
22:10 UTC

15

My prof writes vectors with a bar above the variable name instead of an arrow

Isn't that mean?

2 Comments
2023/12/05
13:20 UTC

6

Guess it’s true or not

During my upbringing, I attended a strict boarding school with a schedule that left little room for free time. My last class typically extended until 9:50 PM, and the power would shut off by 10:30 PM. In order to ensure ample time for everyone to take hot showers, and driven by curiosity about how things operate internally, I attempted to apply this curiosity to solve a specific problem. Noticing that when everything else was turned off, the corridor sensor lights remained powered, I deduced they must be connected to a separate circuit.

The corridor lights were traditional Chinese incandescent bulbs, hanging high from the ceiling. Along with five other roommates, we moved a wooden desk from our dormitory to the corridor. Standing on the desk, I just reached the light bulb. After removing the bulb's casing, I pulled out its wires, identifying the live wire (red) and neutral wire (blue) based on my knowledge from physics class. Swiftly processing these wires—partially stripping the insulation, folding the inner wires, and twisting them tightly. A roommate handed me a Bull power strip (renowned for its quality in China), and we unscrewed the main plug of the power strip, inserting the live wire into the L socket and the neutral wire into the N socket. Since the light bulb lacked a ground wire, we left the central hole of the Bull power strip empty. Naively, I didn't take additional safety measures, assuming that standing on the wooden desk provided insulation. Fortunately, no major issues occurred. After completing these tasks, we used the power strip as the main switch for our dormitory's electrical supply.

The first successful day brought excitement, as we hadn't anticipated that a few simple physics and electrical operations could solve such a significant life problem. Due to it being a "first offense," we exercised restraint, promptly returning the wooden desk to the corridor after showering to restore everything to its original state. As we continued these covert activities daily, without any apparent risk of discovery, our boldness and dissatisfaction grew. We even extended to staying up all night without restoring things, with some pulling all-nighters for online classes or gaming. We went so far as to connect the "main switch" to adjacent dormitories, inviting others to share in our joyful experience.

After three consecutive days of shared electricity, a light bulb burned out due to circuit overload. When the teacher, replacing the bulb, noticed traces of insulation being cut from the wires, they reviewed surveillance footage and discovered our actions.

0 Comments
2023/11/26
23:43 UTC

4

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat, she causes Lyman Alpha blobs to collapse.

1 Comment
2023/11/24
03:40 UTC

0

A galaxy accidentally ate a quasar

"I told you not to eat exotic peppers," said the conventional friendly galaxy.

"I wanted to taste the nebula. Don't be a supermassive black hole." said the spiral galaxy.

0 Comments
2023/11/20
19:31 UTC

2

Today I found out Black holes emit solar gas outward on two polar sides.

From title, can we assume that the universe is not expanding but we are just above propelled solar gas by Sagittarius A*, and rest of the universe is static.

2 Comments
2023/11/15
22:30 UTC

40

Spot all the units

1 Comment
2023/11/10
18:10 UTC

11

Explain radioactivity... in the most ridiculous way that you can think of.

16 Comments
2023/10/24
10:01 UTC

5

A Miraculous Photon Escapes Justice

Inside a physics police squad car:

Officer 1: We've got a report here of a green photon being created at 0K.

Officer 2: Are you sure it was green?

Officer 1: Yup, says right here wavelength is 500 nm.

Officer 2: Damn, we'll never find it then!

0 Comments
2023/10/21
12:35 UTC

15

Why does a sub atomic particle go to a dark matter strip club?

To see an unknown quant-titty

0 Comments
2023/10/18
11:51 UTC

7

42

Douglas Adams made the number 42 famous. But there is great speculation about the question whose answer was given as 42 by a planet-sized computer calculating away for ages.

It has come to our attention that the total age of our Sun, measured in galactic years, is 42.

Coincidence?

2 Comments
2023/10/07
04:16 UTC

2

What is a weeb's favorite subatomic particle?

Ka-meson's

0 Comments
2023/10/04
15:19 UTC

20

A party of famous physists

5 Comments
2023/09/30
19:18 UTC

7

Plato and Schrödinger’s cat

Schrödinger: describes the cat experiment

Plato: I accept that there may be a cat in superposition of dead and alive states in the world of forms. But in the real, imperfect world, we can only see imperfect imitations of the perfect Schrödinger cat, just like we never see a perfect triangle in the real world. So we can only observe either a dead cat or a live cat.

1 Comment
2023/09/27
07:35 UTC

3

Perpetual motion machine in Vietnam

They did it!

1 Comment
2023/09/13
20:35 UTC

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