I’ve never seen anyone who is lgbt be oppressed in western society

Hello groovy people!

I hope that you’re all doing well <3

Kalda are running a free mindfulness meditation session tomorrow night at 7PM (UTC+01).

This is specifically for LGBT+ folks, and is put on by Kalda, a community mental health app.

If you want to learn more about the session, then click the link and it’ll take you to the Eventbrite page.

https://kalda-mindfulness.eventbrite.com

Much love,

Kalda-Boris

Hello all, I am from California State University, Fullerton! My group and I are conducting a research study for our graduate psychology course. We seek to study the LGB community’s perspective. We would greatly appreciate it if you took the time to take our survey:

https://fullerton.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_ebYb60SzJzw56nj?Q_CHL=qr

Thank you!

I think that some unreasonable people in the LGBT community (r/lgbt) really caught up on this idea of privilege. They seem to have this visceral hatred for privilege and those who possess it. But that's such a black and white worldview. Privilege isn't inherently bad.

We can all relate to privilege.

If a person grows up in a wealthy environment with millionaire parents, they will not have the struggles that people who don't grow up in this environment face. They are privileged socially, monetarily, etc.

They may, if it's never pointed out to them, underestimate the struggles of the less moneyed masses. They may even engage in conspicuous displays of wealth, such as purchasing a Hummer limo

If this person, for whatever reason, discovers that her actions are doing harm to a segment of society:

"My gardener and dear friend, Luis, died last week of lung cancer because he didn't have access to health care. I could have saved him if I'd provided him with with health care...and that Limo that I just paid $220,000 for would have paid for that insurance over and over again. I could do something better with my money that actually makes the world a better place. Where can I start? Maybe I should get in touch with some people who need the money and ask them what they need..."

...and she approaches a group of people and try to learn what it's like to be poor and find out the best way that they could help...should we kick her in the teeth? and say "There is no possible way that you can help us! Your privilege has blinded you and you are worthless to us?" Or we could tell her that we don't need her fucking charity and ask her if she wants a medal or a cookie for trying to be a decent person. Tell her that this is a poor people safe space...and her privilege and questions aren't welcome here.

Or, maybe we could use the access that she provides with her wealth. Maybe we could use the financial knowledge that she might possess or even her connections, or hell...her wealth...to make the community better...at the very least we could use her support licking envelopes.

Maybe she can sell the Limo and use the money to start funding for a homeless shelter or a playground for neighborhood kids...

Maybe the wealth she provides helps a teenage kid get off heroin...

Maybe helps a teen mom get through school.

Maybe helps a veteran get off the streets and get some treatment for her PTSD.

If a privileged person comes to us, as a part of any underserved community (and I am a card carrying member of plenty), we need their help...we are simply short sighted idiots to turn them away.

This is not to say that we don't have the right to be angry about things...be it conspicuous displays of wealth or abusive taunts by homophobic or transphobic assholes. Those people deserve our wrath. Those who approach us with questions and offers of help do not.

Straight Cis people have access to things and places that we do not...they do have privilege. They have the privilege, for instance, of being in the majority...and having voting power...

They do deserve our praise, because they had the VERY attractive option of choosing to do nothing...and they chose to do something. That should at least get them a fucking cookie.

TL;DR: Just read it...It's not something that can be TL;DR'd...(though if anyone would like to try..I'd be happy to insert it. :))

I am going to keep telling this story, because I believe it makes a very good point about what is wrong with the moderation of r/lgbt's safe space, and the misuse of the concept of SAFE SPACE in general.

A young het cis male came into the /r/lgbt subreddit to proclaim that he had discovered the error of his ways. He said that he had realized that using "gay" in a negative way was hurtful to gay people. He posted a comment to his facebook page which apologized to all of his friends for ever using "gay" to mean stupid or lame, and promised never to do it again.

It was a tremendous moment of growth for a young man.

some choice quotes of the response:

MaterialDesigner

SilentAgony

They accuse him of "seeking a cookie" for being a decent human being. They throw disdain at him for attempting to seek acceptance among new allies. They completely disregard his humanity, instead of reinforcing his new learning process, they punish it.

They chose to see his behavior as an attack. They are so locked into their bigotry, that they cannot understand that things happen in steps. People make realizations over time.

EVERY PERSON. Including the mods at /r/lgbt, has been confronted with some issue that they didn't not understand, and been required to learn about it. They needed patience and understanding at first...and so do our straight allies.

Our straight allies need to be included in our safe spaces...and they need to be shown how to operate there in the best way to keep it a safe space.

This subreddit is dead. It truly does not need to exist as an alternative to /r/lgbt because /r/ainbow does a fantastic job there.

It's hard to promote equality for all in a concrete way that doesn't just get done by /r/equality

The only thing I think is missing on this forum is a blatantly anti- /r/lgbt subreddit. Could we be that? Should we be that?

I despise their treatment of straight people.

Should we become a gay straight alliance subreddit? an education subreddit?

Any thoughts? The lack of activity here is starting to lose subscribers...and I hate to see that.

Yep, and I think it will happen a lot more often now that it's becoming more accepted. Some kids are simply growing up in an environment where being gay isn't a secret, scary, dangerous and dirty thing.

But, are these kids gay?

They might grow up to be gay. But are they gay now? Isn't being gay is about sexual attraction? Kids at age 7 do not experience sexual attraction. They have not reached puberty yet.

So what is the deal?

Well, the theory that I like is the theory that says that our future sexuality is decided as early as weeks into our mother's pregnancies.

For those who aren't familiar with the details of prenatal development, I'll go into it a bit: When a child is conceived, they are female. all mammal babies default to female. When a male child is conceived, if his father gave him a Y chromosome, then this will turn on his androgen and testosterone and other hormones, which will cause him to form into a male: The pre-ovaries form into testes, the labial folds form into the scrotum, the clitoris forms into a penis. Without testosterone, the female will develop.

The theory, Sexual Dimorphism, states that, in some males, the hormonal process of man-making might take a bit longer to start than others...so the brain begins to form as female. Then the testosterone kicks in and everything else goes to plan...but the part of the brain that determine sexual orientation has already been set in stone. Depending upon how long the brain is forming in the absence of testosterone, the effects can range from:

Bisexuality, (when the testosterone production kicks in in the middle of formation of the part of the brain responsible for sexual orientation) to

Homosexuality (when the testosterone production kicks in after the part of the brain responsible for sexual orientation begins to form).

This theory explains why gay men are often seen as more effeminate that their heterosexual (or bisexual) counterparts. (the part of the brain responsible for testosterone production kicked in after the part of the brain responsible for sexual orientation was formed, but before the gender identity was formed). It also explains why some gay men are not effeminate (testosterone production kicked in at the end of, or right after, the part of the brain responsible for sexual orientation was formed).

This theory has a few problems...

1. Uh...Lesbians? How does this explain lesbians?

Well, I have my own hypothesis. Lesbians did not receive the y chromosome, so they aren't going to start maleness. But their brains are still sensitive to testosterone when they're forming. Somehow, they are producing testosterone, or receiving it from their parent, during the time when the part of the brain that is responsible for sexual orientation forming. Basically the same thing as the other, except the presence of testosterone is the difference, rather than the absence.

.2. Why does this happen?

Well, who knows? Our biology does a bunch of things. It might just be an unknowable answer. I doubt that it's an accident of nature, because evolution tends to correct for accidents of nature. Of course it's not inherited directly, because it would have died out long ago. Sociological benefit? (I'm just spitballing here) Maybe the presence of masculine females and feminine males helps to keep society sexually integrated...

So the kid might know that he's gay because he sees traits in himself that he sees in the gay adults in his life. I know I loved to play with girls more than boys when I was a kid, and i loved barbies and I loved playing pretend and playing house. I had no desire to run around and play football and baseball and lift weights and break stuff. I was more into unicorns than corvettes. I was a gay kid at 7, and a gay adult...

I could provide a definition that works here, but i think that's an important part of the discussion.

In regard to the LGBT community, what does privilege mean to you?

I don't like the way it fits...and that makes me a sad panda. Any feedback? Ideas?

I would really like this to be a good subreddit and be helpful to the community. So with that it mind, I am actively seeking a way to knock down the WALL-O-TEXT in the side panel and replace it with some links to a FAQ page and other stuff like that there.

Anyone have another other suggestions for what to do to make this thing shine?

I'm a straight male who doesn't know very many LGBT people, and therefore I don't know a great deal about the community. After seeing the great shitshow that spawned this subreddit I was wondering what kind of things should be known about the community, and perhaps what some of the common terminology is?

I am the admin guy who founded the subreddit. woo.

I am a (mostly) cisgender gay male...I just turned 40...ugh. (I mean..yay wisdom of age!)

I come from a poverty background and a lot of pretty negative crap. I am a recovered meth addict, alcoholic and smoker. I haven't done any of those things for years.

I rose above those circumstances, though it took me a while and I got me a degree in psychology and am working on a master's degree in social work. Currently I am working as a social worker with chemical dependency using the harm reduction model. (needle exchange, safe houses, etc)

I am a very justice oriented person, and to see ANYONE treated unfairly makes my blood boil...

Feel free to ask any question, and I will try to answer.

Side Note: If anyone wants to be a moderator...let me know. I only need a few right now...but we might grow a bit...who knows.

/r/ainbow, I have just been informed, is a subreddit that was created in response (to create an alternative to would probably be a better word choice here...) to, what I perceive as, the overwhelmingly totalitarian behavior of the moderators at r/lgbt.

So go join that subreddit!! (if you want to...God knows I wouldn't want to force you to do anything that you wouldn't want to do, and silence your right to choose what subreddits to join...(almost done being bitter about this..)

I should have mentioned this in the other text...but I wanted to get all that stuff off my chest.

The reason I started this, is because I find it unconscionable that the LGBT subreddit did not allow discussion of education the straight community on an incident by incident basis.

This is a very important part of a strategy to strive for equality, in my opinion.

Each of us has the duty, if we are actively seeking equality, to address issues as they arise. Tell cis and straight people when they mess up...and that it's fine to do so...and that is how people learn.

What is important in their goals. If they want to help the LGBT community, then they should be treated with dignity.

Explain to me why creating allies in this way is a bad thing for the LGBT community? Explain to me why creating enemies is better?