/r/hardshipmates

Photograph via snooOG

An r4r for redditors who need someone to talk to or want to help others out, with specifically, depression/mental illness.

An r4r for redditors who need someone to talk to or want to help others out.

You're free to post anyway you like but here is a suggestion: [L4 IF /W Depression]

L4= Looking for

IF= Internet Friend

/W= With

Other terms:

HTH = Here to help

RLF= Real Life Friend

STT=Someone to talk to

This is a place to make friends, have good conversation, hopefully enlighten others, but not a place of rescuers. Feel free to post anything that helps you with your depression. Pics, ideas, quotes, songs, inspiration videos, anything related to mental illness. Please use your best judgement as to what would fit and be appropriate to post in this subreddit. If you have any qualms before posting, please message the mods.

We no longer allow links to personal blogs or books not only for your protection, but prevent people being triggered and because this is not a place to advertise. Please message the mods before posting something of this matter or it can/will be removed.

Thank you.

Please understand this is just a place to talk to other human beings. If you are seriously suicidal, that is ok, but please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. Additionally, if you are having thoughts of hurting others, please call the anonymous, non-traceable, drug-gang-homicide hotline: 314-241-2677

This is not a savior or professional community, this a human to human community. :)

This subreddit all started with an idea. An idea that people who suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts have the potential to help each other. Most people have a hard time relating, a hard time listening to dark depressing things. Therapy can be great for some, but sometimes what we really need is a little understanding. This community is just for that. Here you can find other mates on the ship of life to help you clean the deck. This is a place to find online friends to help get yourself back on your feet. Sometimes we just need someone to talk to that won't judge us. Sometimes we just need someone that knows where we are coming from.

We are always open to suggestions. If you have a good experience with someone please share it/post about it.

This is a place of support, trolling will result in a ban Please no taunting, cruel statements, manipulation methods, suicide encouragement.

For your safety, we recommend that you pm people your contact information, however, it is not against the rules to post it.

Please also feel free to take a look at: /r/depression

/r/suicidewatch

/r/stopselfharm

/r/anxiety

/r/aww

/r/getmotivated

/r/getting_over_it

/r/mixednuts

/r/TrollYChromosome

p.s. when helping out others, don't forget to look after yourself!

/r/hardshipmates

5,995 Subscribers

1

How do I fix my life

Basically, I’m a shell of a person. I don’t have any talents, hobbies, passions, or interests. I have no discernible personality and and completely and totally unremarkable. I have friends but no best friends. I’ve had talking stages but no relationships, and the inevitably failed attempts at any stick with me for way too long and mess with me way too much for what they actually were, whereas the other party, I would assume, doesn’t even think about me. Every day I go to school and as soon as I come home I lay in my bed until dinner and then I shower and go to sleep. I don’t do anything else with my life. I know what my problem is. I have no motivation to start anything and no discipline to get anything done. There are so many things I WANT to do. I wish I could finish all my missed schoolwork, but I haven’t even started most of it. I wish I could actually learn the guitar and the piano and dare I say improve, but the instruments just sit collecting dust. I wish I could go back to the gym and tone my figure and fix my whack ass diet. But I haven’t been in at least 6 months and I either eat like shit or eat nothing at all. There are so many movies I want to watch, and series and anime I want to finish, and books I want to read, and so much music I want to listen to, and so many video games I want to play, but I’m so pathetic I can’t even consume media. There are so many recipes I want to try and languages I want to learn and things I want to study and skills I want to try and develop, but all I do and all I truly believe I’m capable of is rotting in my bed and thinking about them all. I want to audition for the musical at my school but I can’t even bring myself to practice. I want to get a job and I’m always told to leave my number but I never get a call back, and I never leave the house to go look for work. I want to clean the house and fix my appearance develop a routine for my skin and hair and body, but it’s always a mess inside and my hair is always greasy and I never have the motivation to do any more than washing my face and putting on mascara. Any money I get I immediately blow on food or smoke and any time I get any sliver of motivation to do something, as soon as I get up, and am ready to start, I immediately lose it all and go straight back to rotting. I have “plans” for the future, want to attend an international school and study philosophy and minor in linguistics, but I don’t know how I’ll be able to do that when I can barely handle simple classes, have no income and no work ethic, and don’t even have the motivation to get out of bed. Any dream or goal I have is completely out of reach and it’s all my fault. Even maintaining friendships and good relationships with people is exhausting and it takes multiple hours worth of gathering what little energy I have to simply reply to messages. I know people don’t like me because there’s quite literally nothing to like. I’m a leech and all I do is use up resources. I don’t even have the will to end my life, regardless of the fact that I have no will to live. And for the cherry on top, above it all, with everything comes the most dreadful, looming, sinking feeling that I’m running out of time. I won’t be this young for much longer and I won’t be able to rely on my shitty excuse for a life anymore. I’m so, so sick of it. But there’s nothing I can do. I’m on zoloft and adderall and they probably do something but all I’ve noticed is that they kill my appetite. I have a therapist/psychiatrist but I genuinely hate therapy and I’ve tried plenty of therapists and I’ve never had a good experience and nothing ever changes. I try to keep a positive attitude but my life is pathetic and I’m a self-pitying obnoxious loser so those attempts are futile. I’m not looking for words of sympathy or encouragement. I’m not looking for some elon musk on the grind mindset bullshit or hippy methods or people trying to sell me something. All I want is to know what to do. I want directions on how the fuck I dig myself out of this impossible hole. Because I’ve looked, and I’ve tried, I really have. But I always find myself back at the bottom. As far as I’m aware there is no solution and I’m destined to be no one. I’m sorry you had to read that I know I sound obnoxious and insufferable

0 Comments
2024/11/27
23:24 UTC

1

How do I fix my life

Basically, I’m a shell of a person. I don’t have any talents, hobbies, passions, or interests. I have no discernible personality and and completely and totally unremarkable. I have friends but no best friends. I’ve had talking stages but no relationships, and the inevitably failed attempts at any stick with me for way too long and mess with me way too much for what they actually were, whereas the other party, I would assume, doesn’t even think about me. Every day I go to school and as soon as I come home I lay in my bed until dinner and then I shower and go to sleep. I don’t do anything else with my life. I know what my problem is. I have no motivation to start anything and no discipline to get anything done. There are so many things I WANT to do. I wish I could finish all my missed schoolwork, but I haven’t even started most of it. I wish I could actually learn the guitar and the piano and dare I say improve, but the instruments just sit collecting dust. I wish I could go back to the gym and tone my figure and fix my whack ass diet. But I haven’t been in at least 6 months and I either eat like shit or eat nothing at all. There are so many movies I want to watch, and series and anime I want to finish, and books I want to read, and so much music I want to listen to, and so many video games I want to play, but I’m so pathetic I can’t even consume media. There are so many recipes I want to try and languages I want to learn and things I want to study and skills I want to try and develop, but all I do and all I truly believe I’m capable of is rotting in my bed and thinking about them all. I want to audition for the musical at my school but I can’t even bring myself to practice. I want to get a job and I’m always told to leave my number but I never get a call back, and I never leave the house to go look for work. I want to clean the house and fix my appearance develop a routine for my skin and hair and body, but it’s always a mess inside and my hair is always greasy and I never have the motivation to do any more than washing my face and putting on mascara. Any money I get I immediately blow on food or smoke and any time I get any sliver of motivation to do something, as soon as I get up, and am ready to start, I immediately lose it all and go straight back to rotting. I have “plans” for the future, want to attend an international school and study philosophy and minor in linguistics, but I don’t know how I’ll be able to do that when I can barely handle simple classes, have no income and no work ethic, and don’t even have the motivation to get out of bed. Any dream or goal I have is completely out of reach and it’s all my fault. Even maintaining friendships and good relationships with people is exhausting and it takes multiple hours worth of gathering what little energy I have to simply reply to messages. I know people don’t like me because there’s quite literally nothing to like. I’m a leech and all I do is use up resources. I don’t even have the will to end my life, regardless of the fact that I have no will to live. And for the cherry on top, above it all, with everything comes the most dreadful, looming, sinking feeling that I’m running out of time. I won’t be this young for much longer and I won’t be able to rely on my shitty excuse for a life anymore. I’m so, so sick of it. But there’s nothing I can do. I’m on zoloft and adderall and they probably do something but all I’ve noticed is that they kill my appetite. I have a therapist/psychiatrist but I genuinely hate therapy and I’ve tried plenty of therapists and I’ve never had a good experience and nothing ever changes. I try to keep a positive attitude but my life is pathetic and I’m a self-pitying obnoxious loser so those attempts are futile. I’m not looking for words of sympathy or encouragement. I’m not looking for some elon musk on the grind mindset bullshit or hippy methods or people trying to sell me something. All I want is to know what to do. I want directions on how the fuck I dig myself out of this impossible hole. Because I’ve looked, and I’ve tried, I really have. But I always find myself back at the bottom. As far as I’m aware there is no solution and I’m destined to be no one. I’m sorry you had to read that I know I sound obnoxious and insufferable

0 Comments
2024/11/27
23:21 UTC

1

18M does it get better

Getting to tomorrow is genuinely so hard everyday. Obviously i think about killing myself but i know ill never do it. I feel so empty and i cringe everytime i say that because I know its so cliche and like i used to hear people say this and think its for attention but now i understand. The most annoying thing is how i have no reason or justification to feel like this. I am a spoiled kid with a loving family and ive been blessed with so many opportunities. I just don’t know what im doing. I feel lost and i dont even know what I want anymore. I feel like i just wait for future events or hangouts and when im in them these thoughts are muted but inevitably come back when im alone again. I never had this problem. Every minute feels so slow i just wait to go to sleep or waste time on my phone. Where did I go wrong? I know of stuff I can do but its all just college applications. I just feel like a fuck up but im not but i feel like one and its tearing me apart. Im so judgemental and that also applies to how i see myself so I feel like thinking down in the dumps like this is cringe and dumb. But i seriously don’t know what to do. I just want to skip to college but i have immense worry and fear that that won’t change anything. I know what to do but my useless ass wont do it because honestly who knows. Do i even have a future. And like i dont wanna tell anyone because its my own problem internally and I know no one comes to save you or whatever. Its just hard. Idek who id talk to even if i wanted to which i dont for the same cringe reason and the fact i have no reason to feel this way. Life is so dull. Why do i crave so much from others. Why cant i be in solitude and not be lonely? Cant believe im actually posting one of these but i kinda just wanted to share and find comfort in anonymity.

0 Comments
2024/11/27
03:27 UTC

2

27 [R4R] M - East Midlands UK - hello to those who love gaming, hip-hop, and more!

good morning/afternoon/evening/night, whatever time you're reading this!

FYI: if you're thinking of messaging me, please read until the end. people with little to no karma (<50), or with no relevance to my original post, will probably not get a response, sorry!

with that being said...

hello, I'm triferg -  I'm 27, living in the east midlands (UK) and I'm an accountant. I am also a carer for my disabled partner outside of work hours.

more about me:

•music - I am a MASSIVE hip-hop fan. old school, trap, UK drill, grime, new school, experimental, you name it. •some favourites include; Wu-Tang Clan, Freddie Gibbs, JME, Danny Brown, Flatbush Zombies, Travis Scott, Mos Def, Ye, Headie One, Fugees, RV, A Tribe Called Quest, P Money, Nate Dogg, Nas, Trapx10, Mick Jenkins, Loyle Carner, Pa Salieu, 50 Cent, JPEGMAFIA, Aesop Rock, Run The Jewels, M1llionz, Joey Bada$$, Denzel Curry, JID, Potter Payper, redveil, Slick Rick, French The Kid, Harlem Spartans, Griselda

•gaming - I primarily play on PC, however I also have a Switch and a PS5 • at the moment - I'm switching between WoW (mythic raider), Overwatch, OSRS and Deadlock

•420 - you already know what it is. I am currently weed-free due to a chest problem unfortunately. my partner is a big stoner right now due to it helping with her medical condition, and is in the process of getting a medical prescription!

•creative writing - not something I have generally done in the past, but it's something fun to do between the monotonous general routine! I have been really inspired through the books I have read recently.

looking for long-term pals who ideally live relatively near (i.e. near Northampton/Leicester/Milton Keynes in the UK) and like the look of what they read. very much looking forward to all the responses!

super love discussing music, gaming, or any other of the topics i've mentioned - so if you're thinking of messaging me & you're not too sure what to lead with, go ahead with one of those!

cheers!

1 Comment
2024/11/24
22:35 UTC

6

Let loose and release your anger with me!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay enough, now talk to me and tell me what's wrong, maybe I could help!!

0 Comments
2024/11/04
14:55 UTC

3

27 Looking for internet friends to hangout with

I've tried making friends, both IRL and online, but it can get pretty frustrating because I feel like I am putting in 99% of the effort. I tried making friends through the games that I play, but as soon as they sign off for the night, I never hear from them again.

Recently I was playing a game with a team I meet and we wont 8 games out of 9 in comp. We were killing it. When people started to drop off I asked everyone for their discords and made a sever so we could all keep in touch, but same thing. Whenever I played I always messaged that server and I never got a response. I 100% understand that life happens, but I literally never heard from them again.

I'm just looking for friends I can play games, watch movies and hangout with. Shoot me a DM(Not a chat please. Notifications dont show on the site for some reason.)

0 Comments
2024/10/27
21:46 UTC

6

I feel like nobody wants me, it sucks!

Lately, I’ve been doubting myself and all the decisions I’ve made. It feels like every mistake just piles up, and now it seems like I’m messing up in everything.... life, work, relationships. If only I had someone to lean on, to vent to, or just get some advice from, I wouldn’t feel this miserable. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I seriously need a hug right now

3 Comments
2024/10/19
16:48 UTC

4

17F looking for friends who genuinely want to talk

Hey everyone!

I’m 17F and from Belgium. I prefer to talk to people around the same time zone!

I’m really bad at small talk lol so just start a random conversation :)))

I yap a lot when I’m comfortable around you :))

If you want to know anything you can always ask!

1 Comment
2024/10/04
19:29 UTC

3

[M4F] Male in thirties looking to voice chat about life and feeling down etc.

Hi there,

I’m a guy in my 30s from Pakistan, and I’m looking to connect with a nice, grounded female for a platonic friendship. I’m not interested in discussing social status because, to be honest, I don’t have one. Life has taken me down many paths, and I’ve often found myself leaving things behind and just going about life.

What I’m really seeking is a genuine human connection with someone who’s kind, non-judgmental, and simply enjoys meaningful conversations. If you’re a native English speaker who values authenticity and a good chat, I’d love to hear from you.

Let’s connect, share our stories, and just be there for each other in this often chaotic world.

Thanks for reading.

0 Comments
2024/09/10
16:49 UTC

2

I want to kill myself!!

I have been suffering with a skin condition that I have had for over 5 years now it's tearing my life apart.

5 Comments
2024/08/16
13:55 UTC

2

33M - Seeking intense and deep connection and the casual chat that leads to it

Hello, and welcome!

I'm very interested in meeting like-minded folk who believe they have some similarities with me and that we may click. Specifically, I'm seeking a cisgender woman (a preference of mine, even for platonic relations) that's 18 or older from any country and background (who that woman is matters more to me than details of this sort). I'm 33 and male myself, living in the Eastern US. I adore thorough and passionate interactions with a meaningful basis. I dislike trivialities and meaningless expectations. I want to feel and create a deep bond that's built little by little with every conversation and action. In this way, I'm open to any possible type of relationship with the people I meet here, from acquaintances, to friends, to penpals. My ultimate goal is to bond with those I jibe with regardless of where we end up. We'll need to feel out what works best for us and where we want to take things.

I've also always been the type to want to meet new and interesting people. Lacking similarities has actually opened me and those I met to things we would have never considered before. Some common interests and especially character traits are vital, but completely relating and having everything in common isn't as important as you would think. Knowing what traits matter most comes out in chat and interaction, not a checklist of things to conform to. I've been surprised by who I was able to bond and share with, so I'm open to a lot. I hope you are as well.

I want to make it clear that if whomever is reading this feels like we may have a connection or ability to bond together they should message me. No hesitations or doubts, please. I don't believe in losing potential and being self-defeated before anything even occurred. I've not uncommonly been told I'm patient, kind, and easy to talk to, which I hope is just as true for those I come across here. Should you like or need it, please allow me to soothe your nerves instead of allowing us to suffer from any misunderstandings or difficulties.

More about me and what I'm seeking:

  • I like long, intimate, deep, and personal discussion. By this, I mean not being restricted by trivialities and actually being ourselves. I'm not someone who likes casual chat about things that don't matter to either of us. Be genuine and authentic. It can take time to feel comfortable and be seen in a raw form, but doing so is an ultimate goal.
  • I adore vulnerable people with complexity and seeing who someone really is. Having a content space to fully let loose is an ideal. I'm openly accepting of sensitive and traumatized people and see their mental state and experiences as having a great deal to offer despite the difficulties.
  • I value creativity and like artistic types. I express this myself through writing and more literary arts. In particular, I write intellectually, about general observations and thoughts, and poetically - mostly to other people in the form of conversation partners (I'm very much a conversational thinker and writer and can go on for a long, long time about a plethora of topics with the right person). I appreciate and admire all sorts of expression, even if it's a type I'm not personally involved in.
  • I'm INTJ and Type 5, since some people seem to like knowing. I like taking different types of tests to understand myself and others better. A lot of them seem petty bunk to me, including MBTI and Enneagram, but it can be a fun activity to share with someone, whether talking about it or taking tests together and then discussing the results and test itself.

More about my values, passions, and interests:

  • I like to research and learn new things. I don't like to constrain myself and am interesting in seeing various topics in intricate and new ways. I'm, by choice, an autodidact and prefer this sort of person as well, or at least those who can appreciate liberated knowledge acquisition and comprehension. I believe there's always more to know, and more ways to know those things - humanity can only comprehend so much, and less than we think we can.
  • I believe in eternity - in both directions. This means I have a primary focus on the future, a significant focus on the past, and acknowledge the present moment as a form of transience between the two. I'm not a "live your life to the fullest" type. My life started before I had it and will continue after it's gone, but I do believe in simply absorbing what's there while it's there.
  • I live a very dynamic life and have since I was young. I might stay up chatting until dawn one night and then be passed out by 5 PM the next one - likely because of the lack of sleep during the first. My pursuits, job, and the other demands of life are in constant flux. My resolution has always been to regulate these various needs and wants and to intensely focus on them when and if possible. I don't believe in being "too busy". You can always find time for someone even if it's not consistent - finding that flow and appreciation of each other is vital.
  • Photography, tech, incense, time pieces, archiving, and abstraction have always interested me and continue to do so. I'm always surprised by what people consider to be interests and hobbies, so I probably have more I take for granted and didn't list here. I haven't consumed media regularly in years, but used to engage with a lot of it when I was younger, mostly including movies, anime/manga, and video games. I still watch movies from time to time, being more prone to it when I have someone else to accompany me.

Are we looking for each other? I'd greatly appreciate a reasonably lengthy chat/message in which you told me what within my ad resonated with you, what you're seeking, and anything else you may want to mention. I would like to get to know people with a level of depth akin to what I wrote here, and will end up asking about these things at some point anyway. I look forward to us chatting and connecting around meaningful and fervid passions.

0 Comments
2024/07/08
01:06 UTC

15

Well fuck me

No one to talk to lost all my friends. Got in a motorcycle wreck and now my fiance said she'll leave me. Count on yourself and only yourself in the end that's all you have. I will rose above this but fuck it hurts another 6 years wasted. I should've known from the first one. Isn't life grand

5 Comments
2024/07/03
02:08 UTC

3

24M UK Hairdresser looking for friends

Im Calvin im 24 years old and im from Kent/South East London. Im 6 foot tall,160 lbs. I work as a hairdresser. My hobbies and interests are football,basketball,ufc,cooking and working out. Currently trying to learn spanish so if you do thats great. Ive recently just got back into gaming,my favourite genre of music is drill. My favourite food is probably korean. My favourite football team is Crystal Palace. Im really active and try and workout as much as possible. Just looking for supportive friends who are ideally close to my age and open to meeting

Dms are open

1 Comment
2024/06/26
18:12 UTC

2

17f talk to me about your worst problems...

Even if you're in the wrong I would like to hear about your problems still please vent to me??? I want to comfort you and make you happy please message me if you're depressed... I have my own problems too and a very sad life I have other posts about myself if you would like to know more I'm a very open minded person and I will not judge you no matter what you did

2 Comments
2024/06/24
22:45 UTC

2

[18M] looking for genuine people to talk to!

Hello my name is Nathan fernando 18m from Australia, I’m here looking for some new people to meet people that are genuine… tbh feel like many people nowadays just ain’t genuine and it’s pretty crap so I just wanna meet people who are willing to talk and have a good time people who are just themselves and chill!! About me: love sports, history and watching movies and reading here to meet people who are likeminded and btw I am a devout Christian so if that’s a problem then don’t bother talking other than that feel free to talk!! Can’t wait to meet y’all ✌️🙏

2 Comments
2024/06/14
12:35 UTC

4

25M Empathetic introvert with social anxiety looking for friends 🤗, open to romance.

Introvert dude checking in, ready to chat about dogs, or why parties terrify us, or why the hell Wall-E made us cry so hard. Let's talk, empathy rules! 🤗.

[Very much open to anything, disregard how long ago this was posted, I am always open to meet new people, reach out and let's chat, talk or video, anything you want!]

I'm from Spain, I am 25yo and studying computer science, but I already have a doctorate on Overthinking and Procrastination 😎.

I am an introvert dealing with social anxiety (working on it 💪) wishing to get to know many more people, and maybe someone special, shy IRL but find texting much easier, would love to talk with someone that can relate a bit, let's relate and share our problems 😊

When it comes to hobbies, I enjoy playing video games, series and movies of all kinds, from emotional or cartoons, to action or horror. And got a special sweet spot for emotional tearjerkers 😭.

Outside I really like long walks and hiking, and I have taken a liking to weightlifting as of late 💪, I am very open to new hobbies, and I am trying multiple new ones that would love to share with you.

I am actively pushing myself to get out there and face new experiences (literally going through exposure therapy), as those can be a real fucking hard challenge for me, so I am open to everything really, and it is being fun so far.

That doesn't mean it is all perfect, far from it, I am struggling greatly about getting into social settings, most of all with people around my age, I can't keep IRL conversations going too well, and can barely do it via chat, so many experiences or regular stuff people do or did before my age I just didn't get to experience (yet 😄), furthermore, I am having to develop self-discipline right now, as I am a huge mess when it comes to actually doing what I have/want to.

Above all, I value Empathy and Compassion, I try my best to understand everyone's perspective and circumstances 🤗 and I am committed to living by these values, I would LOVE to hear about your troubles and help in any way I can.

I am quickly becoming more at peace with myself and have recognized I can be a very emotional person at times, this is being quite the journey and I try to let my feelings and emotions show as much as possible, after decades of hiding them at all costs.

As the title states, I am currently open to a romantic relationship, but only if that interests you and if we click with each other after talking for a while, I am a firm believer of clear communication and a mature adult, that is why I wanted to clarify this, feel free to make your intentions clear, so we can build a platonic friendship without any mixed feelings in the way 😊.

I only ask for respect from you, I don't need anyone bringing me down, more than able to do it myself 🤣.

But really, I would love to hear you out and get to know each other better 😁.

PD: I know how Reddit is about emojis, they are staying there though, I love using them in my conversations and want to remain authentic to you all, and no, I am not trying hard, I like to be energetic and optimistic, if anyone thinks they are "cringy" or "immature" then you are free to ignore me, this is me, for all intends and purposes.

2 Comments
2024/06/13
17:36 UTC

5

28 M, Taking Steps in Life Alone

I am 28. I am divorced, I am getting my life together and doing a pretty solid job so far. First time truly being all alone. Would love to meet someone special.

Comment or Message me. Bonus points if you like Wrestling.

0 Comments
2024/05/25
02:15 UTC

5

35M Atlanta, GA Looking to make a friend

Looking for a friend in Atlanta! I'm pretty active and enjoy pretty much about anything. I like social drinking, video games (xbox and PC), pickleball, hiking, just hanging out, home DIY projects, all types of movies (superhero, action, comedy). Deep talks and fun talks

1 Comment
2024/04/20
17:54 UTC

4

23[F4M] looking to meet new people, maybe something more.

Hello, I'm Tralisa from California. Moved there recently and I'm looking to meet people I can chat with and hopefully find love. I'm also on discord and snap so we can vc too if you're down. Anyway, here's other stuff about me:

I recently started roller skating and going for bad movie nights with friends.

I really hope I'm able to build lasting relationships on here so just hit me up and let's see where this goes.

0 Comments
2024/04/15
09:38 UTC

8

Dealing with the realisation that I’m the problem in relationships

I’ve realised I’m the problem in relationships. How do I heal from this? I feel very sad and regretful.

In relationships, I become a very insecure, untrusting version of myself. Outside relationships I’m confident, happy and charismatic. Lots of people like me and I like myself that way.

But in relationships I’m just too much. Stressful, untrusting, insecure, needy etc. I fail to trust them, I’m argumentative, repeat/keep going over the same things I’m unhappy about, always unhappy about something, I don’t listen to them so for eg if they say they need space, I get even more overbearing / suffocating.

I have insecurities that I let overtake my logic and it pushes people away. It ruined my most recent “relationship”, and the other 2, and I’m finding it hard to forgive myself for it. Especially this recent one coz I really liked this one and was given so many chances to change and I was making efforts to improve but I kept defaulting to the same bad habits till it got too much and they checked out.

Also, I’m not happy in my life (career not working out, etc) and it’s been like that for years so I don’t know if that’s impacting my whole persona and how I show up in relationships.

I’ve been in therapy for a while, even before this recent one, but it’s a slow progress and wasn’t fast progress enough for me to better in this relationship. I feel regretful and I’m hating myself.

I think the fact it was long distance made my insecurities worse. We were meant to go away together and I would have seen them for the first time and now because of the way I’ve been, I’m being told it’s not a good time so I’m going by myself and even though we might see each other, it’s been made clear nothing will happen with us. It’s painful knowing that if only I was better, we would be good right now. So my excitement of being with this person and the fun things we would do and finally being able to hug and kiss for the first time is lost because it now won’t happen. I feel I’ve missed out on a really loyal, good one.

They’ve even hidden their Instagram stories from me now, so I don’t know if that’s means they’re seeing someone else or not. The thought of that hurts me bad. The last one dated someone else because of how I was. The one before blocked me randomly even when we patched things up. I’m just terrible.

I’m the only one that this person has moved away from. Their exes either left them or cheated so to be the only one they couldn’t stand is proof of how bad I am. They said I self sabotage. My friend warned me my insecurities would ruin the relationship and look. They have.

Do you have any wise words to get through this? Even though it’s true, I cannot bear to hear “learn from this” because I desperately want this person back but it’s completely done and I cannot forgive myself for messing it up so epically. And realising it’s a pattern in my last relationships (and some friendships) too so I really am the problem. So learning from it won’t help me in this situation. I feel like crawling into a hole and isolating myself for a while.

I’m at a loss for what to do, I’m in so much emotional pain right now. I just keep crying, it consumes my thoughts and I have this heavy chest feeling that won’t go away.

I don’t even feel like it’s worth being here anymore coz I feel like a total f**k up.

21 Comments
2024/01/13
19:20 UTC

6

Am I doing therapy right?

Hi, I have been going to therapy on and off for a few years now. However, I feel like I'm not doing it right.

How do does a therapy session go for you guys? Do you just tell the whats been on your mind since the past week and then the therapist tells you how to deal with it? Do you take your diary to talk to the therapist about what your going through? Do you make a list of your issues each week to take to them?

Also how do you know you are making progress?

3 Comments
2024/01/11
22:54 UTC

1

18 [M4F] #NYC trying to get some experience and feel good

I’m lightskin, 6’2, 180 pounds, 8” and in good shape. I like talking (A LOT). Also, I can’t host but any female no matter the age or size I encourage to message or comments! (If we click we can verify on insta and call or sum)

0 Comments
2024/01/11
20:38 UTC

6

Why won’t they help even tho I try so hardd Seeking advice?

(21f) I’m soo depressed atm and my parents just can’t seem to help me this time.. I have suffered depression on and off the past 6 years along with health issues. Despite this I have managed to push and achieve quite some things. Like good academic grades and working. I did mostly to show my parents that “im worthy and that im worth the trouble”. I’ve been doing great for around a year.

However recently I had a great setback. It was like everything I’ve been working towards has taken a bad turn and I’m having to make difficult life decisions. I’ve gotten so down and depressed I’m finding it hard to do anything atm and unable to make a decision abt how to move forward with my life. I spend all day in bed watching telly.

Ik this is not great but I wish my parents could see how badly I’m suffering right now and talk to me. Help me make a good decision and maybe give me some stove encouragement or ideas. I’m unable to make serious life choices on my own atm due to low mood and health issues. I wish they could just advise me. I’ve feel like I’ve proved to them over and over how much, how hardd I’m trying.

They make make me feel like such a burden and worthless…

3 Comments
2024/01/10
23:51 UTC

3

Going through a tough time

Work is stressful, relationship is stressful, my grandma just died. My mother's health is declining. Going to therapy and all my trauma is being brought up. I feel so fucking stressed out. Just need someone to talk to.

1 Comment
2023/12/30
21:47 UTC

4

38 M - If you really need to talk, I'm here for you

I've been doing some online coaching for a game for the past few years(I think I've spoken to over a hundred people by now), and it was in a kind of psychological/mental context. The reason is, it's a very difficult, stressful and competitive game, so people get truly miserable trying to learn it and enjoy it. What happened is I ended up becoming a kind of mentor to several of the people who reached out to me, younger people who had and have difficult lives, especially with parent problems, or things like depression, anxiety, or are struggling in some way, not just in the game. And it turns out I found helping these people(which I still do almost daily) very rewarding. I am not some licensed therapist, but I'm someone who struggled myself and then poured all of my energy across many areas of interest like psychology and philosophy to get to some kind of psychological stability, and so I began offering what I learned to others.

I want reach out with that same sentiment to this subreddit: If you are really struggling and just want nothing more than some advice, guidance, a mentor, that kind of thing, from someone who has experience with resolving serious issues and has worked with others to help them, then feel free to contact me. I just ask you that you please don't contact me if you only want someone who'll listen to your problems and nothing else. I've done this before, and my coaching sessions have turned into this, and I found I just don't have the energy in me to be only an ear(or eye, I guess?) and nothing more. The deal here has to be a desire and curiosity for improving things, at minimum. This is not a paid service I'm offering, just to be clear

That being said, reach out if you feel you need to

Wishing everyone well :)

0 Comments
2023/10/22
01:30 UTC

3

20 [M4F] Anywhere/Online - Seeking Genuine connections

I'm 20, and I'm on a heartfelt mission to find a truly meaningful connection. If you value honesty, kindness, and deep conversations, you might be the one I'm looking for.

About Me: I'm a down-to-earth guy with a profound passion for life. While my introverted side might peek through initially, once you get to know me, you'll find a relaxed and open-minded individual. My heart is set on exploring the world of gaming, with a soft spot for Roblox, Minecraft, Skull Girls, Dislyte, and Mech Arena. But I'm not just about gaming; I thoroughly enjoy engaging conversations, sharing laughter, and forming genuine connections.

Let's dive deeper and learn more about each other. Whether you're an avid gamer or someone simply seeking a genuine and lasting relationship, I'm here. I believe in trust, support, and the beauty of meaningful interactions.

So, if you're looking for someone to connect with on a profound level, whether it's as a gaming companion or a partner in life, don't hesitate to reach out. Let's chat, explore our shared interests, and embark on this exciting journey together. Send me a message and let's see where this adventure takes us. I'm genuinely looking forward to connecting with you.

0 Comments
2023/10/11
17:20 UTC

1

31 [r4r] chat buddies

I've been going through a lot lately. My whole brain is turned upside down. It would be nice to have someone to chat with. Share photos of my Starbucks with. Etc open to texting because I'm not online much. Hit me up with your favorite subject in school.

0 Comments
2023/09/27
19:49 UTC

14

35f just want to talk to someone

My bf committed suicide. He's been gone 3 days and I feel very much alone. There's been no contact from his family or friends, and I don't really have anyone. He was the one I turned to, I'm still fighting the urge to call him, to just go over because he's the only one I want to talk to about this.

I don't know what else to do. I tried cleaning but I put on music and ended up making a playlist of songs that remind me of him and felt worse. I tried some podcasts but I feel wrong listening to anything that's not suicide or grief related. I don't want to talk on the phone but I think having someone to text would keep my mind from going back and settling in the dark right now......

3 Comments
2023/09/25
01:31 UTC

5

31M Cancer patient looking for friends online

Hi folks, around a year ago I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma, long story short I'm still in the battle, had to move due to illness and looking for resources to find friends online

1 Comment
2023/09/24
22:06 UTC

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