I feel like I'm a pretty level headed, non-impulsive guy with a decent job and do things alright. I can clean, cook and am competent at this life thing. But zero luck with women. What's it all for. Fuck.

This might sound weird but I feel like getting into sports I can't celebrate or be like a normal sports fan because of how I am. I have noone to celebrate it with and no one to talk about sports with and I haven't even been into it for that long, only about 2 years. I enjoy watching the NBA now but it fels like I can't really be into it like this

Even in my team won I couldn't really celebrate or be happy. Who am I going to celebrate with? Watching sports feels like such a big social thing and not something you can really enjoy without knowing other people who are into it. It's too social of an event to ever be able to enjoy it while being solitary. And I know I could just say fuck it and enjoy it to the best of my ability while being alone but it just doesn't mean as much like that

Maybe it's just a me thing and this is a minor issue but it is funny that I'd almost rather have my team lose because if they won I wouldn't really be able to do anything. It'd just be another part of my life that my loneliness and lack of social connection has affected making it so much harder to ever enjoy like other people do

hahaha. ha. ha. life is a joke. why must i be taunted so cruelly? it's funny because i'm told my advice is "much appreciated." it's a shame i'm ugly as fuck.

Who are the most truly forever alone characters in media? I don’t mean characters who had a romance interest and screwed it up. I mean characters who’ve never had anyone like them romantically. I literally can’t think of any

24M here without anything like love life. The fact about me is that I was never being loved by someone and had been through a hard childhood

I am pretty confident and not desperate for love, just I would like to know what is it like to be loved by someone. I just genuinely have no experience w love. I have made bad posts and comments these days here which made me feel not myself, tbh. So sorry, I wanted to have a good xmas but I don’t want a good one anymore, was just curious that’s all, you can’t miss what you don’t have a clue about and it’s me w love, tbh. And no, I have just fake friends who don’t care about me at all despite I am being interested in their stories and stuff. Dating without a family is harsh but I somehow kept myself trying to find a partner which I am done with rn. I didn’t want to celebrate another xmas being completely alone and feeling myself lonely, but well, I will just cook a beef stew like I used to do and keep myself busy and buried under walls of work as I used to be.

Just writing this one because I think I have found my sub where I will read posts on reddit after forgetting the dating subs at all… I just ask one thing, if you had been in a relationship, what is it like fr or just what is to be loved feel like? I was always reading some sh about the topic on the internet so I think it would be nice to just ask about it here since I have never asked someone before… And pls don’t judge me, I grew up in foster care and had to change classmates like clothes so I barely learned how to have a normal life since I never had…

I've been feeling so miserable a few days i'm needing some fresh air.

Decided to take myself on a date. Probably will go to a bookstore idk

My 6'3 friend tried giving me advice, telling me to "put myself out there". The thing is all of his GFs have approached him, he is just as socially awkward as me, if not more.

I'm so damn tired. I tried to start dating again because I couldn't stand the feelings of loneliness any more. All it has done is make me more depressed. I don't even get to the point of telling people about my disabilities and they're already either ignoring me completely or ghosting after a couple of days.

I never used to have a problem making conversation or getting along with people, so either I've gotten more and more bitter/angry with life or something else has changed. Of course none of the ghosts will tell me what the problem is so I have no hope of fixing the problem.

If dating on it's own is difficult, it's fucking impossible when you've got any sort of health problem. I'm getting too old for this. I'm more depressed every day and I just don't have the energy for this much longer.

All I want is someone to love me for who I am but apparently that's never going to happen. I'm almost ready to agree to some pact where we'll marry each other after X months if we're still single. I joke but, also kinda serious. I'd cry but it sets off my cluster headaches, and I need to be up early for hospital appointment but I doubt I'll be sleeping tonight.

I'm seriously considering trying to be stupid like everyone else, maybe that's my only chance to fit in. Being a conscious person only brings me problems, and stupid people are happier too.

this reality is scripted/coded to be like this. Nothing is equal

so several people can have the same "fated person" yet that "fated person" only truly has one other person coded into as their own ideal back. (similar to a harem anime where the main character only really likes one of them back)

And I don't know why it is written to be like this. I really don't like how this dimension is scripted.

Also there is no one who actually understands anything i am talking about and everyone starts to hate me as this is also fated to be so.

So yesterday I saw a video of a woman who I think is a single one getting denied to rent somewhere because she failed to show proof of income or bank statements when asked. Even more interesting is she called the police thinking that she could use them to convince them to change their mind which in reality wouldn’t work.

However, what got my attention is how the YouTuber covering the story reacted, and he did mention that most people do not make 3X the rent to be able to afford an apartment.

He definitely emphasized that the only way most people can afford an apartment in these cases is if they are married. He definitely said that it’s eventually going to get to a point where as an adult the only way you’ll be able to survive is to be married or live with family members with how expensive housing has become.

This is definitely a painful reminder of how not having a partner can be very costly and detrimental to financially making it. Heck here in America at least married people realistically benefit from the tax system than their single counterparts at just about every income level.

There is a public school next to my college, and I often witness conversations between teenagers there (I eat lunch in the same cafe with them), and it hurts me so bad to hear them talking about who they had sex with, and what party they went to last night , there were some girls and boys who were closed off and others laughed at them because they had no experience, but time passed and even they lost it because they were with someone already in the cafe, and it can be seen from afar how a person changes his self-perception as soon as it's not virgin anymore, I just want to sink into the ground and bury myself 😡😡😡

No it’s not. Once you miss the teens, you can’t entice women. It’s a skill that you nurture in your adolescent and teen age by talking with a lot of girls. It’s way difficult when you are past 20. I’m 30M and trying for the past few years so passionately. I tried everything that some people tell here. Wear a nice outfit. Check. Use a costly perfume. Check. Stay fit. Check. Talk confidently. Check. But, still no results. Girls can smell desperation and awkwardness miles away. It literally sucks to be like this. I can’t blame anyone. I was not confident at all from my childhood since I was mostly ostracised from any group and got bullied often. Girls hate people like me and they like bullies.

Edit : A lot of people have misunderstood that I mentioned about dating in the teens. No. What I said was to know the opposite sex during the teens like being friends with them.

For the past few days my mother and even my dad who doesn't live with us has been noticing the behaviour and are a little concerned, and ask if I'm ok. I always brush it off and say it's fine but it's not but I'm trying to get though.
I love my parents and I will cherish them as they cherished me but they can't help what I'm going though, I'm in pain but I don't want them to see it as it'll make things worse. I'm sorry mum and dad that I'm going to end up a loner and not a family man you prayed for

As a young adult I learned from my mother that I was neglected in the first two years of my life. My father was a worthless alcoholic so while my mother worked 60 to 70 hour weeks trying to keep us afloat it was his job to care for me which he just didn't. Supposedly he didn't abuse me directly but rather just didn't ever interact with me at all.

When my mother got the courage up to leave him she still had to work a ton to support us and we lived in a fairly isolated area so I still had nobody to talk to most of the time. I had basically never spoken to another child until I started school. By then I've come to realize something was pretty wrong with me. Ineould have been described as shy but the truth was I didn't believe I was allowed to talk to anybody. My earliest memories are of assuming other kids having fun would not want me around. That quickly became a self fulfilling prophecy and I was picked on a lot as I'm sure some of you can relate to.

As an adult I spent basically my entire 20s trying to change my image and make friends/ have romantic relationships. I got in shape, improved my appearance, learned new skills and put myself out there constantly. The result was predictable. I still had no friends and no relationships. I also had no family anymore as all the close ones were dead and the few distant relations I had ever spoke to wanted nothing to do with me.

I'm 40 now and the overriding feeling I have is that my life has been an incredible waste. A dumb joke with a dumber punchline. I know plenty of people with stable family lives still are FA but I can't help but wonder if my life would have been any different if I was treated as more than an annoying object as a baby or was allowed to make friends when I was younger.

No matter how you look at it, it makes no sense so I just watch cartoons. Cartoons are good but I need a good friendship. The end of my post.

I was fighting lvl 10 enemies, took a break from the game, and suddenly all the enemies are level 100. Yet I'm still lvl 10 carrying a wooden sword.

Turns out, that previous area that I rushed through because I didn't want to fight the enemies? You were supposed to encounter all of them to level up, join a guild, and unlock new skills.

And now everyone else is in a full party of level 100 warriors, archers, mages, fighting bosses and doing raids, but I'm still stuck trying to cast a simple fireball spell.

And the worst thing is, the previous area is forever locked off, so no going back and grinding against easy enemies.

It's like being stuck with a single lvl 5 starter in victory road in pokemon.

And to keep with pokemon analogies, "self improvement" is like searching for the rare candies to level up because you didn't get enough xp naturally. You think the guy with a lvl 100 Charizard is searching YouTube for "how to level up in 2025" or "7 signs a rare candy is nearby"

I always hear about the “magic” of teen love, I’m guessing that most of you reading this like me never had that. I am quite spiteful of that fact but I never understood, what was it I missed, what makes it so special, and can you learn to love if you never went through that infant step to start understanding how to love? Or do you have to start out with that sort of love to start learning no matter how old?

I have been thinking and it seems to me that similar to a job going into the dating market past your teens seems to require having a past history of relationships to get another, if you have never had one especially when you get into your twenties it seems to become a big red flag and everyone will turn you away as they see you as a loser who has something deeply wrong with them if you’ve never been in any sort of relationship before. Is this because of a cultural thing or am I missing something deeper with this?

Actual question that interests me. A lot of people on this sub crave intimacy, and never get it. What is the worst outcome if you hire a good sex worker and do everything safely? Actually speaking from experience. You will get a slight relief, will understand that sex is not that big of a deal as people generally think, and get more comfortable being around opposite sex? Not to say it does wonders but isn’t it better than spending time wanting about how you will be alone for the rest of your life? Really, not trying to be rude, I don’t know how else to put it.

I'm considering living without a phone. I know it's essential or some shit like that. Idgaf anymore. It's nothing but been a curse in my life.

I don't even mean this just romantically, though that's a part of it of course. Even my friendships are fleeting and never deep with any real connection. Just talking about things we both have in common and always feeling like I have to mask myself and my real thoughts to feel normal. Even online friendships I'll find after a year or so I end up never talking to them again and they either become a distant memory or somene I don't talk or play games with much or at all anymore

All my life I've wondered what it is to have someone who really does care. Someone that knows and cares about you, enjoys spending time with you often. Where it even feels weird to go a day without talking to them. I've never had that and I'm pretty confident that I never will. It's something I can only ever imagine and dream of

It must be nice ever having that. For me one of the worst parts of being like this is the loneliness and lack or any real or genuine connections in my life. I don't have anyone I feel truly close to at all and it's not rare for me to a day without talking to anybody other than a few discord messages. It's a real depressing life this is and man it just sucks knowing that it'll never change for me

Recently, I’ve been putting in a lot of effort to connect with my friends, organizing things like watching the playoff games together or making plans for Halloween. But each time, I get lukewarm responses. They usually say they’re busy with work or midterms, but I’ve found out that they already made plans with other people. When I suggested Halloween plans, for example, some of them said they were either hanging out with other friends or maybe going out downtown instead.

Seeing them make plans with others while they give me these half-answers hurts. I feel angry, lonely, and like I’m just not a priority to them. When I try to express that I’m feeling this way, I get responses like “learn to enjoy your own company” or advice to find other friends, which just feels dismissive.

I’m really craving closeness and consistency in my friendships, but I’m starting to feel like that’s asking too much. Has anyone else gone through something similar? How do you cope when it feels like your friends don’t prioritize you the way you do for them?

Worst shit ever. Combine being FA with a high sex drive and you're in for a life of suffering.

Like no i've never experienced a breakup or a relationship. I love some people voices and beats so much, (like bruno mars, tyler the creator,steve lacy, ariana grande) and than everytime I actually hear the song and the lyrics I become depressed as shit.

The only songs I can listen to without feeling completley depressed or alone are rap songs.

I have recently been attempting dating and had my 1st date ever at 39. It went decently, I’m excited for #2 and I wrote about it on r/self. But that’s beside the point, I am still actively looking.

My strategy in the lead up to getting that was all about masking what I am, using techniques like mirroring to match other people’s energy etc etc. but the other day, not long after my first date I went to meet a nurse in a city near mine and she ghosted me after I’d already travelled because I showed my true self a bit.

It was discourteous and really bothered me. I then deleted the app, thinking why spend time on people who will never get me, and actually I am barely attracted to?

You get various types of people swiping on you on apps but not always for right reasons. For example one type is the high efficacy woman who is a bit unlikeable and abrasive. She pays for the premium app versions and quickly and efficiently can burn out any options in the local dating market and will sit existing on the apps for years without a break. She will match anything that meets a rather low quality threshold but comes at you with a rather morose energy.

So I thought, what if there are some compatible people out there? I don’t know if there are but if there were how would I find them. I thought about women I liked and felt some connection with and the essence of what they had in common.

I realised that for me that meant high perceptiveness. I then thought how they were also basically all of a higher social class than me, and this is known to be important in dating and I hypothesised that may have been a contributing factor to why the women had not considered me eligible. I whittled down numbers based on this and a few other factors.

I tried to get a rough number together of how many people hypothetically are in existence that with perceptiveness and of compatible class etc. etc. exist and I realised I just would have not have ever met that many such people in my life even briefly, under 1/1000. But not ridiculously unattainable.

So how can I go unicorn fishing? Well I have written an obscure, carefully worded line into a dating profile that only the right type of person would understand, avoiding any cultural references etc. to avoid prejudicing the selection in any way, I then put my profile back up. I have 1 match from doing this earlier today. She is so strikingly beautiful and with just the right energy I want. I feel electrified looking at her pictures.

The line is only really constructed to screen on the perceptiveness bit but I suspect she may fail on other compatibility measures like class and things might not work out but it’s interesting to see something work about it. She is also a different ethnicity and tbh one I really rarely swipe on so it’s really out of nowhere and 100% I will give my all to see how it plays out.

I still don’t know if my unicorns really do exist and if they even do what will things be like. it is all just a hypothesis but I want to see how this all plays out.

So go see if this line of thinking helps you in any way and just go and try anything, because it gives you the right type of pain to go and make improvements.

Just curious on what you guys think if there is a strong correlation between not having any friends/social life and being FA. Do you personally have friends/social life?

"A virgin at 22 sounds scary to me. Pay a prostitute or grab the first one you meet (no matter how ugly she is) or you'll die a virgin. I can't believe such useless and incompetent "men" exist haha, even my 17 year old son has a better sex life than you, but soon natural selection will do its job, and "men" like you will not continue the line, not all will have offspring"