I am 25 years old and have now recently been questioning a lot. I used to be a part of the alt right but left in 2021. I was a troll who was toxic and wanted to cause trouble. But now I want to do better but know I still have a ways to go. My views have shifted left but I am not a pure left leaning person. I came to the realization that progressive is the only way forward. There is no going back. I feel nostalgic and it's the current struggle I face. I do apologize for being a toxic troll and want to do better and find my identity. I only hope it's not too late. I feel bad that I didn't learn this earlier. I will admit that I have had privilege. I hav barely any life experience. Only two friends currently that I have known for years. Never dated. Never lived in my own. I also was slow to warn my degree (in English). A lot of this, however, was mostly my lack of motivation. I legitimately just played video games. Even if I got good grades, I never tried. Such as my creative writing being derivative. I really think now I am just realizing the real world and it's problems. My parents were very active and I thought that was good that they cared about what was happening to me. They were supportive of what I did and choose and school, encouraged me at times. And all they want is for me to happy and have a stable life. They are conservative but not completely. They are very laissez-faire about life. Not like the rich, but just middle class folks who go about their day and hang with their family. We don't agree on everything but I still love them despite not always doing everything right. I just have a lot fear and paranoia about the future and hope I can be a positive part of the world. I am moderate left and don't know if I will ever be able to reach a radical point, but yoy never know. I just feel like I don't know the world and have no one to talk to. I can only put one foot on front of the other and walk forward.

I may be going crazy but I distinctly remember there being a leftist Balkan youtuber who does content on Yugoslavia (WHO IS NOT YUGOPNIK), with one of his videos being about the clash he saw in his trip from Germany (where he lives) and his home country (Bosnia & Herzegovina IIRC). However I cannot seem to find them on YT.

Any help would be appreciated.