I made a post a few days ago about a guy I went on a date with and kept messaging me even though I told him several times that I’m not interested. He kept trying to ask me out but doing the bare minimum. I listened to the advice given to block him. I blocked him and he called me from a fake number. I didn’t answer. Then he texted the below:

“Hey it’s [name] happy thanksgiving why u blocked me tho? I didn’t even do nothing hope everything is good between us”

I blocked that number. I’m feeling paranoid.

I asked this question in another post and some of the boys were saying I put myself in the friendzone with this guy I like.

I was texting this guy I know one time he told me I was pretty so I assumed he liked me. And then one day he texted me and said "we talk very little, but the relationship is strong". So I asked what he meant by relationship and he said "the best friend kind" and then he said "we have this agreement right?". So I said yes even though I like him because I figured I just got rejected anyway.

English is not his first language so am I just interpreting it wrong or does he mean he only want to be friends.

Guys I been dealing with this guy right, we meet beginning of the years and we end up sleeping together,but that I was on his ass asking for his status and everything and it turns out he was clean cause I tested myself afterwards and I was clean, anyway we both both went our separate way and we end up coming back together again, again before anything I’m always on his ass asking about his status, tell me why his telling me that I must have something that’s why I keep bringing up these topics I’d it wrong for me to always bring up these topics. Please tell me if I’m wrong

https://www.murisart.com/shop this painting and more available here

As it always goes, I grew up in a predominantly white area. Contrary to what people experience on here though, these were the best years of my life. I grew up happy and loved, I didn’t see colour, didn’t feel alienated and was just living life like anyone else. Teachers made me feel loved, I was even one of my teacher’s favourite students, got amazing grades, had lovely neighbours, lovely friends, life was great.

Moved countries. Suddenly race is a massive topic everywhere. I’m at the point where I don’t even relate to other black people because one reason being that I didn’t go through racist experiences. It’s hard to create friendships with black people because we have different views on life. I’m not going to support one artist over the other just because they’re black and i’m black when I like the songs of the other artist. I’m not going to defend someone in the wrong just because they’re black. I’m not going to talk shit about white people that haven’t done anything to me. I don’t have a problem with black men dating white women. I don’t get why this mindset isn’t normalised? As soon as you have a different opinion from other black women you’re labelled as a pick me, coon or whitewashed.

I just want to live my life enjoying doing what I like and dislike without it being tied to my race. No, I don’t have internalised self hate. I’ve never ever ever thought i’d rather have white skin than black, didn’t even know skin bleaching was a thing until recently, love love LOVE my natural hair and wish I could wear it out more. Just haven’t learned how to style it yet. I don’t look in the mirror and think i’m ugly, I think i’m beautiful but I also don’t think i’m the most beautiful person in the whole wide world. I’m aware that some people might think i’m an 8 and others a 2. Doesn’t really bother me.

I don’t feel superior to white people, nor do I have a mindset that they’re automatically racist because of what happened years ago unless I get an inkling they are. That doesn’t mean i’ll call them out unless it’s clear they’re being racist. I don’t feel superior to other black people, in fact i’d love to view the world how other black women view it just for a day but I don’t feel like my mindset is particularly wrong.

I’m only posting this as I’ve never actually met someone with the same views as me, I don’t understand why there aren’t more people with similar views because I don’t consider them to be well, wrong but there clearly must be if no one has the same views.

I was listening to this podcast and they were talking g about celebrities who are only Balck people famous and I was shook when I realized they are actually right. They named Morris Chestnut, Nia Long, and Vivica A Fox. 😣🤯

Hey girls, I need some hair care recommendations. I moved abroad some years back and my hair has not been the same since. I think it’s the water and just different products. I started using Mielle and I’m losing hair faster than I can blink. I’m at a point where I want to do a press and trim and start using Cecred cause I’ve seen some good reviews, but I also want some alternative options so I’m not breaking the bank all the time.

I have 4c hair, fine strands and medium density.

I grew up in a home where my mother refused to let my father see her when her hair wasn’t done. On top of that I deal with hair issues such as dermatitis and alopecia that make my natural hair a bit patchy and very flakey. This all makes me feel very insecure with the state of my natural hair. My current bf really wants to see my afro and he gets a bit upset that he can’t see me on the weekends I get my hair done. On one hand I think that I’ve set a very reasonable boundary about a situation in which I feel vulnerable but on the other I feel like it’s really not that deep. Thoughts?

While out on a date with my ex bf trying to rekindle things. We were talking about everything under the sun, he then brought up black women and how they are promiscuous, not family orientated, hard to get along with and idiots for voting democratic. Also he said a majority are welfare dependents and cannot keep a man like other races of women. Before he could continue his rant I snapped and told him that he always brings up black women in a negative light and that he's obsessed with putting us down. I asked if he hates black women.

He got very upset and shut me down and proceeded to call me a gaslighter and said that I always said hateful things about him. How could he hate black women if he has black kids.

He said I was stupid to be offended because he was talking objectively and not at me. I think otherwise. It would be different if he had something positive to say but only about other races of women.

Im sorry but it KILLS me whenever i see blk ppl put white men on a pedestal as if they’re just some perfect human beings who can do no wrong. That last sentence was a little dramatic, i know, but its true. I feel as though some blk women out there aren’t aware that white men are on basically on the same level, if not more, of racism as blk men. But they’re usually taught to hide it better. Whenever they get together with their little groups or someone who looks like them, trust me the things they say and talk about black people are not NEARLY as bad as what any blk men has said and i stand on that🤷🏾‍♀️. The only reason i think of why some black women have overlooked this fact is bc (from what I’ve heard about other people’s experiences) most black men have bullied them or have been racist to them in the past (and honestly f*ck them for that bc wtf💀) and bc of that they seem to go to white men as if they’re are the better option. And pls don’t take this as me taking away from your past racial experiences with black men (wholeheartedly). But i feel like we as black women need to stop putting them on a pedestal and immediately go to them as the better option when they’re just as worse as black men.

Men especially. These comments are disappointing and as usual they say bw need to have self esteem and quit being victims. No other race of women go through this.This makes me hate men even more. I dont care if anyone says its just the internet i experience this sht too many times in real life. Not only is this humiliating but it's annoying as well. No one cares about our safety or mental health.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DA5wKatRstL/?igsh=N3EzcjB0aG1uZXhr

I have an issue where if I don’t take an instagram photo on a night out then my night is ruined. i’m trying to chalk it up with me starting my period in a couple days so that’s why i’m moody rn but it’s a pattern for me.

I’ve just came back from a party with some friends and family and I bought a really beautiful outfit for the occasion and I didn’t get any (nice) photos and I feel like I wasted the day, i’ve caught up with old friends and I was happy seeing family but still i’m pissed that I didn’t have a photo to show!! I know how vain that it and i’m beating myself up because I know I should know better. also i feel guilty bc I’ve been moody to my older sister and my mom for no reason just because the small things they was doing was pissing me off

I was also looking forward to this party to get dressed up because I’ve been feeling a little frumpy and I haven’t dressed up in awhile. I keep looking back at old photos of me and I feel like I look better then and I’m trying to think what is it that makes me look better then vs now. every year i’ve always looked better than the last but this year i’ve gain like 10 pounds and have gotten hyperpigmentation on my face, my make up is not as good and on and on and on so the icing on the cake is now i’m not as photogenic wtf is going on

I’m usually so positive and have a open mind but i just needed to let it out so I can get better

I recently did my own quick weave for the first time. Everything was fine until I tried to take it down and realized my hair was completed matted (I had to cut it). I just want to know what I did so I don't do it again. Were my braids underneath too tiny? Did I leave it in too long (it was in for three weeks)? Was it the specific cap mold I used? I also shoved my comb under the cap to itch it often did that tangle everything? Was it the glue? Please help cuz I like the style a lot, but if that keeps happening I can't. Also what are some suggestions to help with itchiness?

https://youtu.be/f43P3PPwWXs

Does anyone recomend a hair salon in central, which do a good blow dry and hair cut?

So I've always felt kinda embarrassed of where my family is from, but as I got older, I began to to claim it boldly because I've learned that it's okay to be from a non-white (or in my case majority black) country, even if people want to put their negative prejudices towards it.

However, as an American (I'm first gen, all of my parents/grandparents and stuff are from another country), I'm starting to feel self-conscious of what I am again now that Trump is president again and he's been targeting certain groups and saying negative things about them.

Even though I was born in America and have a clear American accent, people always ask me where I'm from. Idk if it's because they're just curious, or it's because I look a little different from the average black person in America (similar to how black people are MGMs in America, I'm black/south Asian and a little white, but consider myself black and clearly look black), but lately I'm starting to think that they ask so that they know what "box" to put me in so they can treat me accordingly, especially when white people ask it.

And it's making me question if I should say something else when they ask. Because if I say somewhere in America, they start with the no but where are you REALLY from bullshit (since apparently only white people can be "true Americans"). And I know black people from other countries are looked at more negatively than ones from America, but the one my family is from is kinda well-known and practically only has negative associations with it. So I've started thinking of saying one of the other countries in the same region but are less known because people won't be able to stereotype me as negatively, and people usually think I'm from one of those countries anyways since the culture and ethnic makeup is more similar to what I am compared to the country my family actually is from

Has anyone else felt this way, especially after the election in America?

or are still in university!!

how was your experience with the ACS societies at your university? did you feel welcomed? did you feel left out/isolated? any experiences welcome- i’m writing an article about this :)

Which do y’all prefer? I’m a lotion girlie but I wanna try body butter

I know that ADHD medication typically makes your heart rate increase so you’re breathing is going to be different than when you’re not on the medication, but the way I’m breathing constantly is just too much for my body to take. I’ve already been to the doctor and she assured me my heart is fine it’s just the medication I’m on and I have to get use to it but It’s been very uncomfortable getting adjusted to the medication. Are you experiencing the same?

Our last text was a good morning and that was it.

Crush ** 😅

I’m struggling with my love life. I’m a late bloomer, just starting having sex over a year ago at 30, never been in a real adult relationship, etc.

This week she challenged my new FWB situation. I’ve been single all this time, why not get some nookie while I wait for eternity to find THE ONE? “The Wait” has been terrible and miserable and I’m finally feeling like I’m having fun.

Now is this going to get me closer to a partner? No. But I’m finally getting laid consistently (very well might I add) and I just wait to have fun. It’s low hanging fruit, but what’s the alternative? Another bunch of years single? I hadn’t even had sex in a whole year until recently. Sheesh.

She asked about my goals. I told her I really want a relationship and we agreed a FWB wasn’t in alignment with that. She says I’m just afraid of being rejected &/or not getting what I want, which why I’m going for low hanging fruit. AGREE, but so what. Again I’d rather the perpetual singleness be fun, I want a relationship but don’t have one and have never had one. So she asks what’s a relationship? I talked about companionship and love. She said “you can love your friends.” I’m like ROMANTIC partnership, like quality time. She’s like “what does quality time mean?”

The homework is to define all this crap and I’m pretty pissed off about it! I get the point is to give me clarity on what EYE want. But it doesn’t matter. I know many well adjusted couples who have never stepped foot in therapy until after partnering. I just feel like all this is fruitless.

But she doesn’t feel I can truly define these things so I need so assistance to start my soul searching on these definitions (that will not get me any closer to a relationship than fcking that emotionally unavailable man 😒). But I have a point to prove that I do know what I want and it’s more than me just feeling lonely.

Can you all define what being in a relationship means for you?