Happy Halloween everyone sorry to bring up such a loaded topic (but I mean we're black women what isn't loaded for us) anyways. I just went thru the cycles of wondering why I keep attracting the same - emotionally unavailable and void - men. Dealing with Limerence instead of Love.

And it's def due to what I experienced in schools and social groups, and I realized that I've been going thru life basically with a chip on my shoulder bc I thought i had something to prove (like going for unattainable men) ((but I always got who I wanted so a win is a win lmaooo )) I always thought I was overlooked and that wasn't the case at all. But my feelings are still valid and I need to work true them.

While I'm still working thru these motions, I just think it may be important to begin to face your music before you make anyone begin to face theirs.

I just wanted to say to whoever needs to hear it

that you, black girl, are worthy of everything you desire.

You don't have anything to prove, that's their problem, not yours. Live your life like you already have everything you want, you're just feeling it in real time as you go through life.

You're beautiful!🩵🩵

70% of it is surprisingly by other black brothers and sisters around me I just thought about it today I get called it a lot. But idk if I am. Mainly I get called it due to these reasons

1. I'm too "peaceful"
2. I'm not Loud
3. I speak proper (one I hate the most and it isn't even true lol)
4. I'm into stuff most black 70% of it is surprisingly by other black brothers and sisters around me

I just thought about it today I get called it a lot. But idk if I am. Mainly I get called it due to these reasons

1. I'm too "peaceful"
2. I'm not Loud
3. I speak proper (one I hate the most and it isn't even true lol)
4. I'm into stuff most black individual peers around me are not into. Like Ultraman or Digimon.

Overall l've never seen myself as white washed and it's very odd to me l'm called it for such weird reasons. Has anyone else ever experienced this?

Tbh I just see it as me just being my own person and I'm very knowledgeable on where I came from and the culture that comes with it. I just find it weird that's all

Do these things make me white washed?Also due to the fact I’m into stuff peers around me are not into. Like Ultraman or Digimon or Godzilla. Not very popular where I’m from

Overall l've never seen myself as white washed and it's very odd to me l'm called it for such weird reasons. Has anyone else ever experienced this?

Tbh I just see it as me just being my own person and I'm very knowledgeable on where I came from and the culture that comes with it. I just find it weird that's all Do these things make me white washed?

Edit: by “a lot” I don’t mean a lot that was a bit of a hyperbole

It’s literally the most wonderful time of the year. Hope everything stays safe and has a spooky night! 💃🏾🍬🎃👻

I'm bisexual so it varies depending on who I pursue lol

Women: anti-feminist, pick me mentality, has children, into diet culture, actively judges/puts down other women, no concept of independence, tries pushing traditional gender roles on me because I'm more masc presenting.

Men: No job, lives at home with Mom, video game addict, has kids, harps on and on about "traditional values", watches and consumes harmful media on Youtube (anti-feminist, racist, and other derogatory ragebait content), flips out over late texts/expects instant responses, and emotionally unavailable.

I just started going back to church, and there’s this ginger-headed guy I’m totally crushing on! It’s not like full-on crush (yet!), but there’s just something about him. He’s so friendly and sweet with everyone, and watching him interact with people is honestly so attractive. I haven’t actually talked to him yet, but he seems like such a good guy. I’m trying to figure out what I could do to get him to notice me, though! I know if he does, he’d totally fall for me, but he’d probably think I’m way out of his league (which is crazy). Anyway, any advice

I JUST GET SO NERVOUS

throughout my life any guy friend I would have would turn out to like me , or just be overly flirty. I get so frustrated because my peers are like "why don't you want guys to be your friends", "your excluding men and you wonder why you don't have a bf" "you can't make friends with guys because you just look at them as relationships" it's not freaking true. I don't even talk to them... they come up to me and I'm like a new friend! A few days it's normal but then it gets flirty or it's the infamous "can I tell you something?" This is why I think I connect with girls so well , it's just a NORMAL friendship not looking for benefits.

Edit: needed to vent because I thought I'll actually make a guy friend but it turned flirty.

For some extra background my parents are Caribbeans, Bahamians specifically. I don't know if this is a cultural thing or what. I'm not sure how to explain it but that sharp intake of breath that happens when you cry like huffing, I was thinking about it my mom used to tell me to stop doing that after I got a whooping or was in trouble or something. I was thinking about it today and I just thought how insane was that? I literally couldn't control it. It remember it was very hard to stop.

Many things they have done in my childhood I hope to never do with my future children...

Like if I’m with some Yt folks and they on a boat and they jump off into the water my first instinct is “damn I really wanna do that but I don’t wanna deal with my hair afterwards.” Whereas they can just go wash it blow dry it it and that’s it.

You literally have to plan out when you can go to the gym due to your hairstyle. I do braid outs on my hair but I miss going to the gym some days bc I don’t wanna ruin the curls I spent hours on. You can’t even go to the gym consecutively unless you have braids. And even if you do have braids now you’re about to sweat out a hairstyle you had to sit 5+ hours in the chair for 😂😂😂

I’m off today and the fact that I know the majority of my off day is gonna be me washing my hair, detangling, styling, is insane. Then it has to air dry for today and tomorrow.

Can’t even go to bed without a bonnet bc you might as well say goodbye to whatever hairstyle you have in 💀

Spending hours on my hair just for humidity to humble me, taking away my curls and shrinking my hair.

Like I feel like the majority of a black womans life consists of making sure our hair is okay while other races do not have none of these struggles

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Uvmxd1TV5Oc I've been seeing an uptick in stories about black women and women in general getting unalived by men when women reject them. I'm not trying to scare you but women please stay safe. This world is very dangerous and I want black women and girls to be safe

I know it’s weird, but I feel like some of them like when you tussle with them a bit. Lowkey I think it might be a kink. In my experience it mostly happens with the old white men, I think it makes the feel young again lol. Do you guys relate? 🤭😭

Guys, this is probably super controversial, and honestly I don’t care about celebrity drama However this is something I’ve noticed that is reoccurring.

Let’s talk about Skai Jackson and Halle Bailey. These are both very successful woman, why are their baby daddy’s bums? I genuinely don’t understand..same goes for woman who are like lawyers, nurses, doctors and their man is a whole gangster or criminal. There’s nothing cute about it. Especially if your a public figure, your rich, your successful and your man is a whole bum 😭and overall a weirdo, why not date and be with men who are also of the same calibration, or somewhat on the same level? What is the desire there? It looks goofy sorry.

Edit: I did not once mention their pregnancies, as that is none of my business. I’m just questioning why the good girl, and bad boy trope is so prominent in our community, and used skai and Halle as an example. The DDG warriors are mad😩

Okay, so i tried the individual microlinks, i've seen them be called Itips. I've been dying to try these because ya girl LOVES a natural look.

I did them myself because i'm okay at doing my own hair and didn't want to pay the hefty cost (600+) install and not know if i liked them or not. I bought the hair on Amazon, it was kinky curly hair. It came with the beads and i bought the plyer tool from the beauty supply near me.

The install was fast. Idk why they charge so much for this style. I think its a hype thing, because honestly, it was quick. Id say 2 hours, but i will say i do have a small head (like i have to get the xsmall wigs). Anyways, So you basically leave the perimeter out like a sew in and the "beads" are in the middle. You basically part your hair like micro braids and smush together the bed with the small pieces of hair and your hair.

Overall Thoughts: Would not ever do it again. They break your hair off. I had them in for only a couple of days because i was so anxious that all my hair would fall out. Firmly believe this style is indeed for white women or people with long strong hair. I will say, I do have very fine hair that is fragile, so maybe this style wasn't the best for me at this time. I also felt like it was the same as a sew in without the protection... having to blend the leave out, but with this you have to blend all your hair, leave out included. I thought getting the textured hair would work but no. Also, getting them out was a pain, You have to reverse smush with the plyer tool. I was so happy to get them out.

I’m going off of the country the day after tomorrow and I’m looking to even my skin tone and trying to find a self tanner that doesn’t transfer. Any good recommendations? Need a quick answer by condos because I gotta do last minute shopping for this >~<

Quick question does anyone do pilates? If so, is that your main workout? I only really have time for 1-2 workout classes a week and I just started pilates but I see that a lot of people don’t just do pilates as their main workout. I am trying to lose weight and tone.

This is in response to some girl who was going back and forth with me over voting. I believe it's performative, but I think this would be better off said in a post. Do you really think, as a Black woman at that, that America would so easily change because we filled out a form? Everything is connected and a lot of people don't understand that. The police, the entertainment industry, politicians all of that. Voting is just an illusion of power. And it's not just for the US. Just a couple of months ago, they found out the mayor of some city, I think it was New York, was put into power because he made a deal with foreign politicians. Meaning what? The votes didn't matter.

We're living in the day and age where Diddy is finally getting exposed, but people still think it was just him. Look at Salma Hayek and her husband. During the implode of Balenciaga, they found out the vile shit he was doing. It's so disgusting that I won't go into detail about it. Fans attacked Salma in her comment sections to the point that she turned her comments off. Starred in Black Mirror and it was like nothing ever happened. Still happily with her sick husband so it makes me believe she knew and she's just as involved. But what happened to her husband? Nothing. I think the only reason why Diddy is locked away rn is because he pissed off someone. There's no other explanation for him to get away with things like that for years. They're trying to throw him, and hopefully his family to the wolves.

Now some people ask why women don't speak up, but some of them do immediately and it gets swept under the rug. One of his victims spoke up years ago, but the cops ridiculed her before she even said who it was.

This is just another reason why the whole world just needs a big reset, and unfortunately, I don't think voting is going to do shit and a half. If there was no nefarious things that happened behind the scenes and voting was truly fair, then I'd be 100% convinced that we could change things by just voting. And before you get on me, yeah, I voted, but I still feel the same way. The only real reason was to change the infrastructure of the small place I live in. Because I doubt there would be any crazy things happening like burning ballots in a small city, but I still have my doubts.

The only way I think real change could happen is if there were nation-wide protests/strikes. Judging by the history of this country, I think it would turn violent sadly.

Idk what this all means but they did that lol

I only match with yt men 😭😩…. Help me out. Who are y’all matching with

I’m literally the poster child for “girl who didn’t party in high school and went crazy in college,” even though I was in deep denial that I was that girl at the time. I would post crazy shit on Snapchat and IG and just embarrass myself. People from high school who never talked to me were adding me just to see the crazy shit I posted. And I was very aware of that at the time but I genuinely thought it was so funny. Now I look back and cringe and wonder how many people have screenshots and how many group chats I must have been in.

I’m 26 now and I’m pretty sure I’m AuDHD. And even though I don’t drink or party as much, when I do, I’m afraid that I’m being crazy or weird and the next day I overthink. And I know that I can come off as immature/childish to people, which I feel like comes out more when I drink.

How do I get over the shame of past actions? I’ve calmed down a lot now and most days I don’t think about it but sometimes the shame and embarrassment is debilitating.

Right? Excuse my typo in the question above 😅

ADD: I forgot to mention we are not in a relationship.

I just recently started talking to this Russian guy I met on this dating app and after talking to him for about a month now, he’s like a really sweet and kind guy with a dark sense of humor, which I enjoy. He’s also very down-to-earth, pragmatic and very sharp-witted and sarcastic. He can be impatient sometimes and he is often blunt (which is what I admire) but he’s also considerate and means well. He often compliments my looks, especially my locs and me being dark-skinned. I haven’t met his family yet but I really hope they are not racist and meeting them might be a chance for me to learn more about Russian culture. I’m not sure how long this will continue but hopefully I get to know more about him and that he’s the ideal one for me. His personality is already a win-win and guys who are traditionally masculine are my ideal type.

I want to your thoughts on Slavic/Eastern European men and would you date them? If most of you guys say No or respond negatively, then I guess I should be more cautious. Feel free to share your experiences if you’d like.

In my long 27 years of life I have yet to figure out how to get rid of panty lines, what do you guys do to keep the ole granny panties from showing under your clothes