Edit: just theorising!

Edit 2, thank you for the award!

Hello! Long story short, I’ve never been with a girl. There wasn’t much of an LBGTQ community where I used to live and I’ve moved to a new place. I’ve been like online dating recently. But I don’t know how to do this. I wish a girl could just walk up to me in public. I don’t drink and not down with being the only sober one in a club, so unfortunately I can’t go to any events, I turned to online dating. How do I talk to girls?? I’ve dated lots of men and it’s pretty easy but when I’m around girls I lose all sense of what to say. I even struggle making girl friends, I have few girl friends in my life. If I can’t even talk to girls I want to be friends with without having a massive panic attack they’ll backstab me, how can I go on dates with girls? I’m mid-late 20s

I have always found women attractive, and certain guys too. I always thought I was straight since I find women more attractive than men. Didn’t even realize I was bi until one of my lesbian friends said to me “Any amount of attraction to both sexes means you’re bisexual” and I came out later that week (I was 17 at the time)

I’m a middle aged guy that’s kept up my body and spirit in tip top. I’m happily partnered and we’ve gotten to the point where we’re more than fine with one or the other exploring their sexuality with a new friend on their own time. The problem with me exploring my MM side now is that the app/internet landscape has proven less than ideal. I feel I’m in my prime for this enrichment but that it’s fleeting and I’m just curious to hear from other men how they found their male partner IRL.

48 Bi cis male here, growing queer wasn't easy as for the majority of us, so I was closeted and afraid of people (still am) specially women. My preteens and teens years were hell on earth, since then living with depression, anxiety and body dysmorphia and no body ever notice how miserable I was, I guess truma made a good actor out of me. Almost out of my teens, when I was 19 I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and already had diabetic neuropathy, le gets were giving up on me. But I keep acting like I was fine, then at 23 I went for diabetic neuropathy to severe neuropathy and was educated about it and learned that it didn't matter if my diabetes was completely under control my neuropathy was a progressive degenerative condition, just when I was planning on coming out to my homophobic family and leave the nest, the fear of becoming fully disabled and having nobody in my life made me swallow my pride and hid further in the closet. I had no queer friends, actually I didn't knew any queer people. Now many years and struggles has passed, now fully disabled, severe depression, anxiety and of course worsen body dysmorphia, I have some queer friends, I'm out to one brother and friends, but I hate my life, my body, my brain. I hate the loneliness I live with, I only go out to medical treatment, I can spend days without talking with anyone, I miss my sex life, since sex was my coping mechanism but now I can't even do that. All I know is physical and mental pain and anguish, all I know is close my room door and hide under my blankets to cry while music plays on my phone, just waiting for the day I'm called out of this miserable life and see my maker and hopefully understand why I was chosen to live like this, why so much pain, why I wasted my love with women that played me. I just can't wait for the tears to stop, for the pain to end, I can't wait to finally rest, even if I never felt or receive the love I know I deserve. Hoping that when the tears and pain are over I will really REST IN PEACE, it's all I can hope for.

Which is the best doubled ended dildo for boy girl

I (26M) was in a relationship with a girl (26F) for almost 9 years. Some years ago, I discovered her bisexuality by noticing an increase in her comments on how beautiful and fascinating some women that we knew were. I asked for fun if she was bisexual and she came out. She told me that she had a strong crush on a girl that let her identify as bisexual. She hasn’t came out before because she was afraid of judgments, especially from her family. Obviously that revelation shocked me at first, but I really loved this girl and I said to myself that if she never acted on any other I was still her chosen person. I also started to read and inform myself more about queer community and their struggles. I wanted to be fully supportive with her, because she was really afraid that her bisexuality was seen just as a phase from other people. I really believed in her cause and I tried my best to understand her and especially understand that attraction and love is more than what I have thought until then. That was one of the best personal discoveries that her coming out brought to me. But after a while she started to avoid tallying about this topic. We discussed about general stuff related to the queer world but not about our personal life. She had several lesbian friends, and I strongly encouraged her to talk with them about her sexuality but she said she was afraid of their judgement too. This until she confessed she had an affair with one of her girlfriends. Everything for me fell apart. I felt betrayed as a human being. I couldn’t not (and still can’t) understand how she has never sincerely spoken to me about her doubts. I thought that I have created a safe space for her where she could express herself as she was. I felt used as a cover: the “good guy” that other people are happy to see me with so that I can discover my sexuality behind his back. I know that attraction and love are complicated, and that it is also their beauty. But I really believe that everyone needs to be treated with respect. And that what I felt missing. I am really struggling to understand why I have been treated like that. Why was it so easy to be left apart even if I shared almost nine years with her? These questions are hunting me and killing my self confidence. I wanted to ask if any one of you had found themselves in my and/or my ex situation. How did you manage it? What were your feelings? How did you act on it and move on? Thank you for letting me share my experience and for reading it!

Once again, I stumble on posts explaining what Bisexual is to me.

Guys, I'm tired lol Honestly. I'm losing patience and losing the ability to calmly disagree with these individuals and try to educate them. Without fail, they sit there and lecture me about how I'm incorrect and transphobic.

I've spent my entire life being told I'm not really Bisexual for one reason or another. We've all had to hear this bullshit at one time or another as Bisexual individuals.

"You just want attention."
"You're just trying to attract men."
"Everyone is a little Bisexual!"
"All women look at other women."
"Men can't be Bisexual, they're just gay and in the closet."
"Bisexuality doesn't exist."
"You're just confused."
"You're just young and you'll grow out of it."
"But, you're married! You can't be Bisexual anymore!"
"You'll meet someone who is right for you and this won't matter anymore"

After almost two solid decades of this and many years of therapy I finally found it in me to be out and proud about being Bisexual and Nonbinary. It took me so long to finally stand up to these people and tell them that their comments are Bi-phobic and contribute to Bi-erasure.

Now I get to deal with an entirely different type of Bi-phobia and Bi-erasure. Mainly due to ignorance. Not to mention the blatant transphobia in most of these arguments.

"You're not really Bisexual, you're actually Pansexual."
"Bi means two which means attraction to men and women."
"Bisexual means you won't date outside of the gender binary."
"Bisexual means that you're Transphobic."
"Bisexual is an outdated term."
"Bisexual means you're attracted to two or more genders, while Pansexual means you're attracted to ALL genders. You can't be Bisexual and attracted to all genders!"

I am so sick and tired of people gatekeeping my sexuality. Can I just exist and be happy and proud about my own sexuality without some ignorant fool trying to change and "correct" me?

I AM BISEXUAL AND NON-BINARY AND YOU CAN FUCK OFF IF YOU DISAGREE.

In case anyone needed to hear this today, Bisexual is an umbrella term used to describe a romantic and/or sexual orientation towards more than one gender. Bi people may describe themselves using one or more of a wide variety of terms, including, but not limited to, bisexual, pan, queer, and some other non-monosexual and non-monoromantic identities.

Thank you for reading my rant. I desperately needed to let this out in a community that might understand how annoying and tiring this is.

At the bi-annual meeting of bisexual people in Minneapolis/St.Paul, you are tasked with choreographing the official bisexual secret handshake.

It doesn’t have to be subtle.

So describe what you’ve come up with.

Hi! I(22F) am cofused about my sexuality and I dont know who am I supposed to talk to about this. This is something that's been torturing me for four years now. I've never had a girlfriend, but when I was 19 I liked a girl and I couldn't stop thinking about her for some time. I wanted to kiss her and maybe be with her, but I knew that she is straight and I was afraid that I'll ruin our friendship, so I didn't do anything. After that I was in a toxic relationship with a boy that ended very bad and I was thinking about giving up on the idea of being straight. Not only because of the toxicity, but because I bond better with girls emotionally and I think that generally talking, girls are more attractive than boys. I stayed alone for more than a year, because I was afraid of relationships and I didn't want to jump in a relationship without being ready and mentally okay. Then I met my current boyfriend, he is the love of my life, but we were talking 2-3 days ago about sexuality. And I told him that I liked a girl some time before and that I always wondered if I am bisexual. Can someone tell me if I am straight and bisexual?

This hasn't been my experience. I've identified as bisexual for as long as I can remember, long before I tried drugs, but someone once mentioned to me that during drug use, they started feeling attracted to men, but once they were sober, they identified as straight again.

I’m in a bit of a panic.

I (28F) have been dating my partner (28M) for almost a year. I came out as bi a few years ago, but because of long monogamous relationships with men, only had like two months while I was single to actually go on a date a girl. It was validating, but too short.

I fell into a relationship with my now partner quite suddenly, even though we’ve been good friends for 15 years. He’s wonderful and healthy and I love him a lot.

But post election and after hanging out with my queer friends, I keep getting this nagging feeling that something is wrong. I’m definitely feeling resentment towards the patriarchy in general and have deflected it towards my partner (internally), even though I would not classify him as toxic or even that masculine. I can clearly picture us spending a genuinely happy life together, raising kids, adventuring, etc.

I’m just panicking because I don’t want to end a wonderful relationship that I thought was going to be my end game over the grass is always greener thought. He is very supportive of my bisexuality and even offered to open up the relationship (with boundaries) so that I could experience some of what I have always been wanting, but I know that for me it’s more than sexual with women and that I could see a life with one. I feel the most queer with him out of any relationship I’ve been in, so it’s very confusing if it’s something I need to act on or whether or not I just feel the walls coming down to express myself in this way while in a het relationship.

How do bi people exist and feel themselves in a het relationship when they haven’t fully had a same sex relationship to compare to??

TL;DR I’m bi (28 F) panicking about how to honor a wonderful relationship and also my queerness.

Anyone out there cheat on their wives?

During and after sex with a man, I feel like I'm in love and cuddle. Almost like I would leave my wife. When having sex I felt like a woman taking it.

I've expressed fantasy's to her of watching her with another man because I'd like the thought of seeing her taking him.

Even the initial kissing and blowjobs, the feel of his hair and my lips on his chest.

When with her I'm a man, masculine. I don't even think about men. But with men I'm totally a woman. Even down to arching my back and back onto him.

Anyone else feel like a woman?

View Poll

Dear bi-women,

Would you date a masculine-presenting, bisexual man with a shaved head, stubble, a trained body, who views sex as an expression of love and values personality over physical attributes? Someone who places great importance on a loving, monogamous relationship?

Somehow, I unintentionally attract women who assume I’d jump into bed with them right away. Once they realize I don’t react the way they expect, they distance themselves and don’t even want to talk to me anymore.

He's 19 years old and in college not far from home. It's an easy drive from here. I went to have lunch and spend the afternoon with him last week. We have a very good relationship and I always knew the subject would come up eventually. He asked me at one point if people thought I was gay when I was younger. I told him people thought a lot of different things about me. Half jokingly, I reminded him I was a theatre major in college. I like showtunes. Both my ears are pierced. On the other hand, I'm a big sports fan and work well with tools. He laughed and said maybe you go both ways. I was quiet, didn't respond right away and he thought he had insulted me so he apologized. I smiled and said, "No. you're not wrong. But it is something that your mother prefers not to share with people too much. Any time you have questions, feel free to ask. But use some discretion when talking with other people."

He said, "It doesn't change how I feel about you at all. I'm glad you told me the truth."

I knew it was coming eventually so it wasn't like I wasn't prepared for the conversation. He's always been pretty easy to talk to and was raised to be accepting of everyone (other than MAGA asshats). His schools through the years have made a point of teaching tolerance and acceptance. Heck, his roommate is non-binary.

Anyway, now my son knows I'm bi. He doesn't know I see other men and that his mom and I are ENM. But there are things kids have a right not to know about their parents and I think the details of my sex life is one of those things.

I know this is weird but I have no where else to really ask about this.

I'm 21, I've known I'm bisexual pretty much since I learned the word a decade ago. As I've gotten older and had more sexual thoughts and experiences, I've realized I don't really find genitals attractive, penis or vagina, and in fact get kind of disgusted looking at either of one of them. I've only had sex with one person, and it was always great no matter what we did, I really enjoyed it, but I just wasn't attracted to the sight of them down there. And I know it wasn't just them, because when watching porn porn over the years, I often get turned off when they do up close shots, no matter what type of genitalia is on display.

Does anyone else feel this way? Am I just extremely inexperienced sexually? Am I somehow asexual?? What the hell is wrong with me????

I’m dating a cis man but I think I want to explore women. I’ve known I was bisexual since I was in middle school, but only ever made out with girls. I think I would want to try exploring with women, but I do love my partner.

IDK if this means I want to breakup with my partner right now or sometime in the future because I am happy with him right now, but I’m not sure. I have these feelings that won’t stop about being with a woman. I have a lot of friends that are lesbians and idk I think I’m jealous? Should I tell my partner I’m having these feelings? Because I’m also like, what if I do want to breakup later down the line, would this be a dick move to seemingly breakup out of left field to explore my sexuality? This is my first ever relationship so maybe I’m also thinking too much into it. Maybe this isn’t something Reddit can help with and I need a professional haha but still I would like some advice or even just to talk to people who gone through something similar. I think maybe later down the line if I haven’t resolved anything and still feeling this way I’ll seek help.

Also, no open relationship or threesome or anything like that is a possible solution. Strictly monogamous and I don’t believe in taking a break.

I'm excited and looking forward to being able to experiment again after several years of battling inner stuff. Only just coming to terms with it and finally feeling excited to experience both men and women like I've always wanted to. I prefer sex with men. Had quite a bit of male interest but my confidence let me down.

I was open from the start about my sexuality. I made vows just about a year ago. I've never acted on my sexuality or even really spoken about it. But the most time has gone on she decided that me being bisexual was something she over thinks about. I truefully do prefer intimacy with a guy but I married my wife because we had something really special. I guess I have a whole new journey ahead of me now

I realise this might as well be another question on how to ride the bi-cycle but wanted to share my experience/ask for advice anyway.

I (34M) have known I’m bi for a few years now. Was raised and socialised as straight, and only started to consider I might have some degree of same-sex attraction after meeting my now-wife. This relationship exposed me to queer people and realities and allowed me to slowly dig up this side of me that I never realised I had. It wasn’t until I was 29 that I mustered the courage to look into the mirror and say “I’m bi”, and that was a hell of a good feeling.

I have experimented a lot since, mostly by myself. Usual story. Started with porn, slowly developed sexual fantasies, began to realise what kind of male features attract me, eventually got into anal play… Last year I started going on occasional dates with other guys (with consent from my wife, of course). This year I had two dates which ended in kisses (which felt really good btw), but I ended up not seeing these guys again for various reasons.

The thing is… these experiences usually happen in short bursts of a few weeks where my “non-straight” side is very active, sometimes followed by months where I feel completely unable to channel it. Even with those experiences, I feel like I have to make a lot of effort to just keep reminding myself that I’m attracted to other guys. If I’m not actively thinking about men, I feel like the “straight persona” will just slowly creep back into my life and suppress the other side(s) of my personality/attraction. And I don’t want that. I really wish I could remind myself more often that I’m attracted to more than one gender and not let the “straight” mask settle in again, because that’s when I feel whole.

I’m in one of those moments of awareness right now. Started a couple of weeks ago in a conversation with bandmates where I ended up casually coming out to them (they were asking about the inspiration for a song I was showing them and I decided to reveal it was inspired by me dating other guys). That made me blush and stammer for a bit but also made me feel really good and helped me remove the straight mask for a bit.

So for the past weeks I’ve been fantasising about being with other men, been much more aware of male bodies and faces, and even really silly things. Like yesterday I was telling a friend about a situation I’m facing at work and felt comfortable to illustrate it with a dating metaphor. Except I actively decided to phrase it in terms of dating other men, like “X is the guy who really cares about you and shows that he wants to see you again, Y is the guy who sees you once and never calls you back. I’m really into X”. It’s very silly, I know, but just speaking in these terms gave me a rush and made me feel very happy in my bi skin.

So now I’m just feeling like I want to keep this side of me awake. Judging by my past experiences, I feel like I have to make active effort not to forget all these things about myself in a few weeks. Wondering if other people out there have gone through similar feelings and how they dealt with them.

Sorry if it was a bit long and confusing. It was very sincere.

Tl;dr: I want to keep my “bi self” awakened and not suppressed by my “straight persona”

When having sex with men or fantasizing about sex with men , do you play the role of top, bottom or vers ?

View Poll

I am middle aged man, I am married only been straight. Get urges to look at cocks on subs, I get hard. Am I bisexual and just finding out?

There is a drugstore I frequent near my apartment, and a particularly beautiful woman who works there who is very much my type. I'm female btw, late 30s. I've noticed recently I've been getting a "vibe" but I'm not sure at all. I'm terrible at understanding when another woman is into me, and I've always for some reason been clocked as straight. Sadly I've had little experience with other women at all, for this reason. I look a lot less straight now because I cut my hair, it's short, in a sort of shag style until it grows out again. It hasn't seemed to have helped so far sadly as far as I know. But maybe it worked this time?

I've been coming into this store for months, I never really noticed her "noticing" me. I even asked her advice about something in the store once, she awkwardly said she didn't know where it was and went somewhere else. But only recently I noticed something a little different about her interactions with me. This time, I was in the self-checkout. It was around 8pm, there weren't many customers around. Usually you have to ask the employee for a bag. She was on the other side of the store (maybe 10 feet away) and said, "Need a bag? I'll get it". She walked over with the bag, and held it open for me so I could put my stuff in it. Lol. Then she smiled (one of those closed-mouth smiles). I smiled back in the same way. I thought, "Ok, maybe she is just being nice, good customer service. Maybe she's bored, she has nothing else to do."

Tonight, maybe a week or two later, I happened into the store again. As I walked in, the cash-register is basically right there, and she said the customary "Welcome in". I turned towards her and said "Thanks". I noticed she was smiling and almost nervously rubbing her lips with her fingers, while still looking in my direction. This suddenly made me extremely shy, I realized I might have been staring, and was afraid that I would look creepy if she knew I was into her, but I'm sure I caught myself smiling somewhat too as I turned back to look at the direction I was going. This all happened in just a few moments of course, it was very brief. I'm not sure why she was doing that, maybe she was talking to a customer who made her smile or laugh, maybe someone had asked her something and she was thinking and fidgeting, I mean, I mess with my lips sometimes too when I'm fidgety or contemplating something. Or maybe she really is into me. It "felt" like that but I don't want to have wishful thinking and be wrong. I've been wrong so many times before...

I have to ask - Does it seem like she's into me? I'm a lot older than her, if I had to guess she is in her twenties somewhere. I'm told I look young for my age, though. It's so hard to tell when someone of the same gender is interested in you or just being nice.

My bf(31)( I'm 23f) and I have kinda had a good span where we don't have as much sex. He's a very busy productive person and there has been a good amount of outside stress and he says that's why and I accept that. But I've been thinking lately, we're both bi. What if the reason is actually that he's been thinking about being with a man and wants that and thats the reason he doesn't want to sleep with me. Could that be a factor or am I overthinking. We've been together almost 2 years. (I'm not saying he's cheating or acting on it just could that be a reason he doesn't want to sleep with me)

Bi curious wife wants to flirt and meet another woman

I think I'm riding the bi-cyle out, if there is such a thing. Six months ago, I made a post asking about changes in sexuality over time after feeling less and less into my own sex and gender. Women are just...not it for me anymore at all. I'm not "grossed out" or repelled exactly, but I don't feel attracted to womem sexually or otherwise anymore, still.

Anyone else ever have a shift become more permanent? Can a person just...straighten out after decades of genuine bisexuality?

Bodies are weird. Minds are weirder. I think I'm getting to where I'm officially going to change how I identify myself at this point. 🤷🏼‍♀️