/r/bisexualadults

Photograph via snooOG

A subreddit for adults looking to discuss their bisexuality and some of the issues that may arise from it.

(This community is not for conducting research, please do not send your requests to the moderators.)

This is a community for adults looking to discuss their bisexuality, and would prefer to do so with other adults. If you are not an adult, keep in mind, this is a place geared for adults. This is not meant to be a NSFW subreddit, so please label any NSFW posts as such.

Moderation: Ideally this will be a community moderated subreddit, with downvotes and comments to ensure good content. I would try to refrain from removing comments, or banning users. However, there are some rules:

1) No doxxing, posting personal information in threads, or threatening people. I cannot stress this enough. If you knowingly post someone else's personal information or threaten someone you will be banned and reported to the admins. There will be no warnings issued for this. It is completely unacceptable.

2) Be civil - No hatespeech or bigotry. That means no racism, no sexism, no homophobia, no transphobia, and certainly no biphobia. We have to share this same space with many people, and it's on us to make this a space where everyone feels welcome and valued.

3) NO PORN and NO PERSONALS ADS. This is not a porn sub, this is not a hook-up sub, and we're not here to look at your dick pics.

4) This is a subreddit for adults, please act like it. I would hope that this one does not need an explanation. Obviously this is an issue that can (in most cases) be dealt with using voting and comments. If you see something that shouldn't be here, please report it.

5) No blogspam. While the occasional post from a blog is acceptable, multiple blogposts a day from one user is not, and they will be marked as spam. Please use your common sense on this issue. If you feel something was unfairly marked as spam, feel free to message the modmail.

As far as an FAQ on many LGBT issues, r/ainbow has a great one in their sidebar, and r/bisexual has a great one on bisexuality in their sidebar.

I would also like to add that this subreddit, while focusing on bisexual/pansexual people, is not restricted to these groups. Anyone in the LGBT community, and straight people are welcome to post or comment here as well.

American Institute of Bisexuality

Related subreddits:

r/ainbow

r/bisexual

r/pansexual

r/questioning

r/askGSM

r/BiGoneMild

r/NonBinary

r/Biguys

NSFW Subreddits:

r/Bisexy

r/bigonewild

If you would like to have a subreddit added to this sidebar, please message the modmail.

/r/bisexualadults

90,148 Subscribers

3

Looking for some good time

M/25/6’0 looking for pretty good couples for having fun with.

3 Comments
2025/01/31
04:10 UTC

3

Control - bi cycle

Does anybody have any tips for controlling my bi cycle? Or at least predicting when it's going to change? In the past I've always just rolled with it but now I'd at least like to know when a change is coming, maybe even help encourage that change or put it off for a while.

33 Comments
2025/01/28
15:25 UTC

8

Being bi and androgynous is nightmarish

Hi! I’m kind of confused lately. There’s some kind of problem with dating someone who likes man or who likes woman and you are an androgynous boy with mixed masculine and femenine energy.

I always end dating the wrong persons (mostly boys) that they only use you for sex purposes. Trying to date a gay boy is impossible because their preferences are masculine guys and women in general prefers the same thing.

Last date I had with a girl was good. We were comfortable but she ended up saying that although I’m a interesting and handsome guy, I am too ambiguous (physically) and it is hard to her to find attraction to me.

It saddens me being in this turmoil, almost alien like, because nobody finds me appealing for a relationship mostly because of this (or we don’t end connecting or with enough feels)

I don’t know if someone here passed the same situation

8 Comments
2025/01/27
11:26 UTC

2

Melton Mowbray Bisexuals

This sounds really odd but I live in place in Leicestershire that claims to be a community of diversity but only seems be to a collection of white straight people.

Just want to meet some bi- sexies for a drink in Melton. Any here?

0 Comments
2025/01/27
09:20 UTC

9

Suggestions for music when coming out to your parents doesn’t go well

I’m going to therapy, so that’s not the issue. I’m just looking for soothing music.

Thanks in advance

15 Comments
2025/01/27
02:17 UTC

4

Female late bloomer bi looking for supports (Vancouver, Canada)

Well, I’m 45 and I think I’m bi. The more I think about it the more it makes sense. Now I need to navigate that as this is all new to me.

Looking for a friendly space, maybe a nonprofit where I can get more info and supports. Most interested about sexual health and building community.

Any suggestions?

6 Comments
2025/01/26
15:57 UTC

0

Cannot find anyone but my ex attractive. Am I straight now? Lol

Me and my ex were together for four years, and I experienced the most profound love I’d ever felt in my life. I still feel it, lol. I (22F) cannot find anyone but him attractive in my mind and in real life. Does this mean I’m straight now, lmao?

3 Comments
2025/01/25
20:28 UTC

26

Being tortured……..by myself

My mind is in despair. Bisexual man with deep physical needs which have been suppressed by a 27 year marriage. She knows I’m bi and is fine with that but will not play as couple or me as a single and thinks pegging is depraved!

As I get older (53 years old ) I realise the clock is running out for me and it’s now or never. Have been totally faithful but my opinions are limited.

A. Carry on in mental anguish and be miserable B. Have a fling on the quiet to purge my needs C. Divorce and lose a beautiful wife.

My wife is a great women but is very vanilla and has very low sex drive and it’s destroying me inside. She also refuses therapy as she doesn’t think there is a problem.

Has anybody here been in/is in a similar situation and have any advice. Anybody’s views welcome.

I am having a genuine mental breakdown and all options feel awful. Have no one to talk to about this so thought I’d ask those whom know what it’s like to be bi.

Sorry to burden you beautiful people .

🩷💜💙

60 Comments
2025/01/24
14:15 UTC

9

Has any women left a straight relationship to be with women, only to fall in love with a man again?

In some other communities I’ve read a lot of women (or women identifying) people leave their husband (or male identifying) to explore being a lesbian.

My question is, have anyone left and then discovered they still like men? Personally, I largely prefer women and considered leaving my husband regarding it. I’ve always wondered though, what if I left and fell for another man? I care about my husband deeply, and that would hurt him to learn.

I’ve always struggled with my bisexuality or being a lesbian. It’s a hard line to figure out when you’re married to a man.

Side note: I’m leaving him for him cheating (ope) so I’m not looking for advice. Just curious if this has happened to anyone?

Edit: what I’ve learned is that people leave for other reasons as well, which is what I didn’t pick up beforehand! Thanks!

28 Comments
2025/01/23
22:12 UTC

20

What Is Your Fvorite Kink?

I never thought of myself , my wife or our partners as kinky but recently I think we stepped into it. What is your favorite kink?

63 Comments
2025/01/23
10:08 UTC

8

I don't see myself ever being in a serious relationship with a woman

I (F27) have been bisexual for as long as I can remember. I've identified as demiromantic since my early 20s. I technically identify as a demigirl/demiwoman. I've dated men and women. I rarely think or expect myself to marry anyone, but when I do, a woman is never in the picture.

The closest desire I've had to wanting to be in a serious relationship with a same sex/gender person was one of my first major crushes from my youth. We never dated because she wasn't out as queer at the time, she was a dear friend, I was having internalized bi-phobia, she moved away, and, even if I wanted to date her now, I can't because she died a couple years ago.

Anyways, for some reason the idea of being in a serious relationship with a same sex/gender person hasn't settled in my soul. I try to picture a married life for myself and it's with a man. Ideally though, I'd want a marriage of true companionship where the option for us to have fun with others is there, men, women, nb, etc. Not all the time or in a poly type of set up because I don't think I can personally handle 2 serious relationships at once. 1 serious and 1 to multiple safe casual ones at best.

A majority of myself feels like there's nothing wrong with this and that it's a justified bi experience, but a small part of my feels like I'm abusing my bisexuality and subconsciously giving into stereotypes.

14 Comments
2025/01/23
04:11 UTC

35

Turns out I'm not a lesbian

I truly believed I was a lesbian for the last 5 years. Two of those I was in a serious relationship with a woman and the other time I was single and not dating. A few months ago, I met a man and found myself continuing to think about him and trying to sort out these feelings. Was it attraction or did I simply want to be his friend? After a couple of months of wrestling with these questions I decided life is short so why not - decided to ask him out and just get to know him a little. Well three weeks after that first date and we just spent an entire weekend together. I'm falling hard for him ... so obviously I'm not a lesbian. But am I pan? Or Bi? Or just a human who found another human that I am connecting with?! Attraction is so interesting and beautiful sometimes. Thank you for reading and if you have helpful resources for me please share.

10 Comments
2025/01/22
17:51 UTC

73

I’m 62 and just came out to my wife

I’m 62m that for the last few years have been hiding the fact that I like dressing in my wife’s clothes. She has no idea that I have done that until yesterday when I told her. Which she took pretty good. I was worried she would want out of the relationship but she said it was ok. I’m still nervous about this. We are also into pegging which I enjoy so. The next thing I need to tell her but not sure how to is that I fantasize of being with a man or a m2f transgender.

22 Comments
2025/01/21
17:28 UTC

5

Age Old Question For Men And Women

Does size really , truly matter? I'm perfectly happy with my friend, he's clean, cut and shaven and just the right size for me. That said, I admit I have had dreams of sex with huge cocks both oral and anal. My wife says she wouldn't want anything bigger than me and she doesn't think something bigger than my friend is needed but sometimes I wonder.

14 Comments
2025/01/21
09:51 UTC

47

What do you like about bisexuality?

This subreddit has posts about the challenges of navigating bisexuality. I am wondering if anyone will share what they like about being bisexual.

For me, a bi guy, I enjoy the many ways to find sexual pleasure both in real life and in fantasy. What about you?

67 Comments
2025/01/20
20:06 UTC

10

am i lesbian?

i know this is bisexual subreddit. i just want to ask here cause im bisexual. i (25F) got out months ago with my 3yrs relationship with a woman and im back on dates. now i cant imagine dating a guy again im attracted but they creep me out. when a woman ask me to hangout, i accept it right away but if a guy ask me out i need to think about it and decline in the end. like im uncomfortable and im scared, im not traumatized or anything. so am i lesbian?

my family and some friends hoping that I’ll date a guy lol

16 Comments
2025/01/18
23:48 UTC

7

Really good straight ally vs bisexual?

I’m queer (not bi, aroace spec though I do see women and men) and so is nearly my entire friend circle, but one of my closest friends in it has asked me for help determining if she’s bi (she knows I’m posting here).

Has anyone else struggled determining if they’re bi, or “wanna be” bi (because their friends are all queer and it’d be way more convenient, plus they feel more comfortable amongst queer people)?

She’s certain she likes men. She’s unsure if she’s ever liked a women romantically or sexually, but she does actively date them, because she really wants a girlfriend.

The thing is, I’m aroace spec queer, so I haven’t actually liked a girl either, and I also want a girlfriend, so part of our conversation today was what all is different between us if we both want girlfriends but don’t feel romantic attraction towards them. In my personal POV it’s fine for her to identify however she wants as long as she’s upfront with these women, but the main difference between me and her is I don’t have romantic feelings towards any gender, whereas she definitely likes men.

She’s kissed women before at bars and stuff, but never gone further than that. Says she can see herself as a stone bottom though. (FWIW I am similar in that regard in that I really prefer to receive vs give).

I am just not experienced enough with the bi identity to know if you can be essentially aroace with women - but want it for yourself anyways/see it happening one day - and straight with men - and identify as bi. What do you all think?

Thanks!

32 Comments
2025/01/18
18:57 UTC

35

A group of LGBT activists waving a rainbow flag 🏳️‍🌈 alongside road during LGBT pride parade, Mumbai, India 🇮🇳 (2018)

0 Comments
2025/01/18
18:12 UTC

14

Is Her a legit dating app?

Basically as the title asks, is Her legit? Bumble isn’t fruitful and I can’t have tinder. I downloaded Her and am getting a lot of matches, but like too many to where it’s suspicious. Is this a legit dating app?

19 Comments
2025/01/17
02:40 UTC

68

How Scary Was Your First Time Same Sex Experience?

If you've had a first time, how nervous or scary was it? My first time I was scared shitless. I knew it was going to happen and I wanted it to happen but when push came to shove, I really wasn't sure I could.

My friend was understanding, he had a little prior experience but I had never ever even touched another man no less service him orally. With my wife encouraging me, placing my hand around his penis all I could do was stare at it before my wife said, I know you want to.

When I think about it now, I can laugh about how clumsy I was but at the same time, how much I really liked it. I had a feeling like I was giving my friend pleasure. I did hesitate when he told me he was about to cum. At first I wanted to take my mouth off him but my wife wasn't having it.

I'm oddly kinda proud of myself and every now and then I think about my clumsy first time. How did yours go?

89 Comments
2025/01/16
12:20 UTC

55

Does anyone else wants to date other bi people more than gay/lesbian/straight ppl?

Sometimes I feel there's more understanding among bi people compared to others. Granted, an individual person (disregarding sexual orientation) is the most important part for me but I do have seen/felt more comfortable among bi ppl.

Therefore, I'll try to date bi people and test that theory. Anyone have experience on this and willing to share?

Cheers my bisexual peers!

53 Comments
2025/01/15
18:51 UTC

0

Why don’t bi women date us bi men?

It’s always pissed me off as a bi man (22M) who has struggled with getting girls and has yet to have a cis girlfriend who wasn’t an online scammer despite wonderful relationships with trans women. And who hasn’t lost his straight virginity to a woman like he has his gay virginity to a man last year in a motel. You get the idea. I have an online boyfriend and I’m poly and he’s fine with me dating women on the side and even with us having threesomes if we ever meet up. And I get recommended bi women on dating apps a lot but they never end up accepting my swipes. And it seems bi women usually date straight men or lesbians and bi4bi women (based on my experience knowing wonderful bi4bi women on Twitter) usually prefer women. What is this vendetta against dating bi men despite bi women feigning support for us?

42 Comments
2025/01/14
01:47 UTC

5

Is this a sign you’re polyamorous?

Genuine question from a lesbian now talking to a bi woman.

If someone is bi and thinks lesbians are better off with other lesbians vs bi women and can’t understand how that could be biphobic, could that be an indication that they just personally aren’t monogamous? (To clarify I have nothing against ENM, just trying to get a sense of the situation because she thinks she’s monogamous.) thanks!

19 Comments
2025/01/12
09:36 UTC

8

Have you experienced support from your family?

Reflecting on when you first came out or at this stage in your life, how do your family members treat you? Are they supportive, or do they fall short in that regard?

In my own experience, my sister and brother have always seemed somewhat indifferent; in their defense, they haven’t really been in a position where they needed to demonstrate support, as I have never been in a relationship.

On a brighter note, my mother has had a complete change of heart. Just recently, she expressed her enthusiasm about seeing me in a relationship, which I found truly encouraging.

I'd love to hear your experiences with family support or the absence of it.

4 Comments
2025/01/10
04:28 UTC

8

Coming out to Work Crush

TLDR: Found out coworker is bisexual, heavily flirted with each other but stopped because we both assumed each other was in the closet. Must I come out to him directly or subtly?

So there is coworker that I have had a crush on for the longest time. I was uncertain of his sexuality and from outside appearances, he was in a long term relationship. While he was very flirtatious and I admittedly flirted back with him, I assumed he was a straight guy and he may have been coming to terms with his sexuality.

Initially I tried to let him set the pace with regards to the flirting so as to not push boundaries to far with him. I recently overhead a conversation he was having with girlfriend about a guy that blocked him on Facebook due to him having a wife and his flirting.

Things were very hot initially and have sort of simmered down quite a bit because I believe he thinks I am not out of the closet. I am, I just don't discuss relationships with coworkers. Basically he and I would have been let each other set the pace without knowing we are both bisexuals.

We both work quite closely together; however, I truly believe he and I will remain quite professional because we are both quite level-headed individuals. Also if it all goes to shit, his contract will be ending in a couple of months and is currently interviewing for other positions, and he isn't in the office often (see him twice a week for a couple of hours).

I am going to come out to him regardless when I see him next (Next Monday or Tuesday) so that I can put my mind to rest on what could have been.

My questions is: Would a direct approach be better or should I subtly hint to him I non-discriminating with regards to gender in my attractions?

9 Comments
2025/01/09
23:56 UTC

5

Will I ever experience love with a woman?

How do I even start this? I’m a woman in my early 20s. I’ve always identified as bisexual, ever since I was a pre teen. I’m in a long term relationship with a man who I love very very much. Prior to this current relationship, I experienced great hardship and abuse from my ex partner. I really value this relationship and get scared whenever I think about it ending because I am so in love and safe.

But, on the flip side, I am yet to experience love with women. Real love. Not just crushes or idealised love.

When I was a teenager, I started talking to a girl with the hopes of a relationship however I ended this due to pressure from school exams and wanting to get into college.

Ever since then, I have been with men. I have wanted to be with women: I have asked women on dates, I have chatted to women romantically, I have confessed love to women, but nothing ever came from that.

I suppose my worry is- am I still bisexual if I have not experienced romantic things with the opposite sex?

What if I never experience this at all? I know in my heart that I want it but for some reason, it never happens.

Does anyone else deal with this kind of thing?

8 Comments
2025/01/07
16:53 UTC

17

Questions about threesomes with a partner

My partner and I (M/F) both identify as bi. My partner has a fantasy of taking part in a threesome with another person, and it's something I'd also be interested in doing. However, neither of us has had a sexual experience with the same gender. We had a couple of questions that we were hoping we could get some advice on from other bisexuals that have taken part in one with a partner.

  1. Is it a good idea for one's first time with someone of the same gender to be as part of a threesome or would prior experience be preferable?
  2. What are some reliable methods for finding someone to take part (if any)?
25 Comments
2025/01/06
22:36 UTC

7

Do I forget I’m bi?

Hey! I’m a female in my late 30s and and for the past few years have come to terms with my bi-ness and even found a woman who was amazing and got me through some tough times, but was all online which unfortunately didn’t become anything in RL. This wonderful man found me and is fully understanding and we are serious. But I feel torn between how amazing and happy I am with him and also the part of me that longs to experience women. I don’t have the best confidence and he’s not something I want to give up, how do you mange? I find this so difficult.

6 Comments
2025/01/06
09:39 UTC

14

Will I be able to find love?

I’m coming to Reddit because I’m not sure where else to go. I’ve been having a constant internal battle about where I’m at in life and where to go from here. I came out as bisexual when I was 16. I had many happy relationships with my ex girlfriends and my ex boyfriends. With my most recent boyfriend- I did end up getting pregnant. We have a daughter and she’s almost one now, but we’ve just decided to call things off for good. Neither of us had been happy in the relationship for a long time. We tried for almost 4 years to make things work, especially after finding out about the pregnancy. Over the last year or so I have really felt my attraction to men begin to fade.
I’m starting to realize that although I am romantically attracted and capable of happy relationship with both men and women… What I truly want is to ultimately end up with a woman. After already having a daughter with a man.. I’m terrified that this kind of ruins my chances. I know this may sound really stupid. But this is a genuine fear of mine and I’m not sure why that is. Do you have anyone in your life who became a mom in a relationship with a man and then ended up marrying a woman? Or do you know any women who have been with someone’s baby mama… I’ve been feeling pretty depressed because I did have a baby young. I just turned 24, so I feel like I’m just now starting to figure out who I truly am and what I truly want. I’m not sure if this is even the right sub to be asking this question so I apologize if this isn’t. All advice encouraged even if it sounds blunt , I don’t mind. I just have to get this out somewhere. So thank you for reading if you made it to the end.

3 Comments
2025/01/06
07:23 UTC

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