I'm Tinker. I am Orange, but smart, I am a man cat without the bits, I have a best friend who is Spencer and I was adopted by my sister after the big sad. I also live with Indy who has social anxiety, Cooper who is lovely but has medical problems and sore teeth, and Seven who I assume you are aware of (she's not as rough and tough as she makes out to be) and dear little Loki, who as the saying goes, Orange does as Orange does.

My problem you see, I don't go outside, I can't hunt expect my toys that my sister packs away each night or places in the house for us to find, but friends, the other day a moth made its way into my house.

I will admit I went 'little bit Cray crayfish' with excitement and the need to protect.

It was amusing to my sister and the one that feeds me to watch me run and wiggle and pounce.

So why was it a problem for me to leap 72 feet from the floor onto the television to catch this deadly moth.

Suddenly it's not funny or dare I say cute, but now I'm a naughty boy and arked towards.

I'll let you know I caught that moth, I didn't share it. It was delicious.

Was I the cloaca for touching that television that hangs on the wall, or for not sharing the damn moth, who knows what danger that moth could have caused?

Hi, I Sadie ESA. Iz my mom's Emotional Support Animal and good girlie. Last night was Hallow-eeen. I not sure what that is, since Mom hasn't made a fuss about it in the five years I've lived with her. Last night, it rained. Mom had turned off the front lights although I saw lots of funny dressed kids in the street, and I do big bork, bork at them. Mom watched too and told me that it was important that I let her know they were there. Apparently, it was something called Trick or Treat. I like treats and get lots of them. This Trick or Treat went from 6-8 at night.

At 7:30, when it was dark, Mom and I decided to go for a walk. She turneded on the front porch lights. We put on our raincoats, matching red ones, I put on my collar and leash and Mom opened the door. Here's where it got exciting. There were crazy dressed kids, who didn't smell familiar, coming up the sidewalk just as the door opened. I borked, borked and growled, growled. They screamed and ran and Mom pulled me back inside and closed the door. Was I a cloaca for scaring them?

(Mom here, someone yelled "bitch" in our direction and I thought, well, yes. I hadn't seen them in the dark, I didn't unleash Sadie on them. It was just really bad timing. But yes, she's all black and when she's being protective, well...)

tax in comments

As the title see, am I the cloaca for eat yummy thungs? I didn’t no all the rest of the adventure come after but I would do it again.

Buckle up, this is a long one.

Hello frens! It is I, Molly Olly (5F, black mutt). My mamas went to The Boring Place yesterday and den hous also felt like boring place so I make fun by open the trash box (a couple weeks ago I chew a handle on the lid to make it easier to open nex time I want fun. I’m so clever hehe. Mamas putt somefing heavy on it but they forget sumtims!). I gotted out some rapperz. But that was just so mamas ignor the REAL PRIZE which was a loof of mold bread!! They just lef it on the counter and I took it!!! I loved it so much I took it all the way upstairs to my be Droom to enjoy!!! I ate that bread up, it was so yummy and extra flavors becaus of the molds. Mamas didn’t take the rapper when they got home and only see it at bedtime!!! Mamas say “oh, Molly” and google if moldy bread can hurt doggos—how can it hurt if it taste so guuuuud???? Mama say it can be leaf-ful but I love playing in leafs in the yard so that must be why I love moldy bread too.

But after my mamas were sound asnoring (we do not snore, Molly, but you do), my tummy started to hurt. It hurt a lot like the time I ate an entire bag of granols. I start to dig in my bed to find a place to put my snack in case I wanted it later when my tummy less ouchy. Mama heard me and got up and tol me “I was sound asleep” because I guess it was eleben-durty at night or sumfing.

Mama took me outside in the freezing and I did three poops in a row! Mama not impresssed wif so many poops. I guess one of them wasn’t up to my normal concis-consish- my normal firmness.

Then I ran to the backyard and I did two horkhorks. Big horkhorks. Huge horkhorks. Funny color. Lots of chunks. Yummy horkhorks. I try eat them back up but mama say “Molly that’s what made you sick in the first place, you cloaca!” I don’t no what she mean. Maybe she just mean I can eat it later.

I ready go back to sleep and I drink a lot of water first because my mouf feel funny, must be the night air.

At for-turty my tummy feel funny again. I ran downstairs to the door. Mama wake up from sound snoring and come clomnping down and let me outside. I whine just in case she not unnerstand I need to go NOW. She had to put furs on, it so silly to have so many different furs for different things. My sleep furs is the sam as my outside furs.

I pee because I drink so much water and then I ran out to the sidewalk and I did more pee but this time it come out my butt. My mama call this diorama but I not know what that means. It feels like pee from butt.

Before I go bed I ran to the backyard for check on my horkhorks from befour and they had froze some and looked sooooo nummy, even nummier than before, but mama just sed “Molly!!!” and made me go bak inside. I will try again next time I go outside and report back if I am sucksessfull.

Anyway, dis morning mamas extra tire for some reason. I was starbing and a little sleepy, prolly cauz I was out late tricker treating with my hooman frens who are pups.

Tee-ell-dee-are I ate moldy bread and woke mama up twice during the deepest night to horkhorks and have pee from my butt and make mamas have anks-eye-eh-tees because bread can be leaf-full.

Frens, AITC for yummy mold bread eat and cawse my mamas lots of scare and join me on my nighttime adventure?

Lady Puckleton (15F, tuxedo) demands a post script: I am so upset the Beast didn’t off her dumb self. She was out of her jail all night so I didn’t get any human cuddles-not that I admit to wanting any. She is definitely TC in every situation and my humans are TC ever since they brought Beast into our life. I hork all the time INSIDE and on my humans clothes and books all over the floor and I never get this much attention. The Beast is too dumb to keep herself alive and I won't stand it for much longer. I need to figure out how to run around horking outside since that seems to upset the humans more than the piles I leave them inside.

Henlo, frens! Is Alexis, 5 year old pitsbull and Kajsa, 3 year old Saints Bernard again. Today is one of worstest days of the year! Is stoopid Howl-oween! We's has monsters comings to our house and tries to steals and eats our pawrents ALL NIGHT! Stoopid mama has funny dress on and gives the monster treatsies!And mama says she forgots our "howl-oween costumes" this year. Goods! We hates howl-oween costumes! Daddy says Howl-oween is his favoritest holiday. Maybe Daddy sads 'cause we hates howl-oween? So frens, AWTC for hates howl-oween? We has to stops all the monsters from getting our pawrents, and we don'ts even gets treatsies!

Hello frens! I, Sam the Snuggler, once agin come to you to do a confirm that mine mama is the cloaca. She get dressed up in weird furz and get on floor wif me an dum little brofur. We do some snuggles, yay, a she take pikshures wif lite bocks. Then she send pikshure to her frens an say the hellhounds have come for me!

This is rood! We are good boys. Except dum brofur. Tell her!

Hello. I am Haliaeetus leucocephalus, a/k/a bald eagle (about 5/probably male) It's that time when person beings pilot wheel loaders and wheel barges and wheel towboats in the cornfields. I staked a claim in this cornfield next to a human being nest. It and all the rodent beings it gives is all mine. It's also fun to scare hawk beings into thinking I will eat them (they're bland and gross. Or so I've heard).

There was this dead former raccoon being on the asphalt river that flows through the cornfields. A wheel boat was sailing towards me on the river so I swooped right in front of it and stopped it right in its tracks! I scared the person being piloting the thing. It stuck its head out of the port side hatch hole (?) and SQUAWKED at me. It was so hilarious, you beings had to be there. I got out of the way and let it go by. Person being said cloaca words and yelled about what a pain in the cloaca it would be if it hit me. Something about deputies and DNRs, fish and wildlife, and paperwork and more agencies and how indigenous person beings are the only ones who are permitted to have eagle parts under regulations and this person being not an indigenous person being blah blah blah blah.

So AITC for scaring person being?

I, Mycroft T Cat, T stands for The, have noticed for some time that in the scary times after the Weather gets cold and the Darkness comes even before Dinner, all the furless kittens come and make horrible noises at my Door! And instead of chasing them away with a broom like sensible people would do, Mama and Daddy tell them that they are adorable kittens and give them treats. I, Mycroft T Cat, T stands for The, am a great lover of treats. Mama says I am a little bit Oh Lawd He Comin.

Anyway, Mama was outside doing battle with a Monster that was trying to eat our house, and I stuck my head out the door and normally Mama says No Buddy You Are An Indoor Only Cat You Stay Inside but I guess she was busy with the monster because she didn't notice so out I went.

But when I came back!! Oh friends the Monster was still at the Door making horrible noises and Mama was nowhere to be seen so I proceeded to very stealthily wait for my moment to attack and I kept on stealthing until I woke up and it was morning and Daddy said Mycroft T Cat Why Are You In The Neighbor's Garden Bed. And he took me back inside, past the terrifying Monster that is STILL AT OUR DOOR at this very moment, and gave me a big breakfast and I got a churu all to myself that I didn't even have to share with my stupid brother.

It was a fantastical trick that ended in my greatest treats victory ever! Mama keeps giving me lots of pets and snuggles! But then she gets a little leaky and says I Cloaca for run away overnight. But I cannot be Cloaca!

Hello, this is Finn, the much more well-spoken brother of Poppy (not the splendiferous one). I really really love my sister, we snuggle and play and sleep and eat together and Mama takes a thousand pictures a day of us. She says we're bonded, whatever that means. Anyway, two days ago, Poppy went in for her spay surgery and when she came home, well, she smelled really weird. Like, REALLY weird. Like fifteen different animals plus antiseptic. I had no choice but to ward off her demonic odor with my hisses and a bapbapbap or two. She was definitely confused but I was not letting her stinky fur anywhere near me. She was sad but I had no choice but to stay away from her for an entire day. Anyway, Mama plugged something into the wall that made me feel calmer and she also, for some inexplicable reason, put a dab of vanilla extract on both of our chins, back of neck, and base of tail. Something she read on Google or something. She's so weird.🙄 Well long story long Poppy is smelling much better now (except for when she toots) so we hung out together in our tunnel today which made Mama smile. But I still feel a little bit stressed by the whole ordeal so when the handyman working at our house tried to catch me as I escaped the bedroom, I took a swipe at him with my murder mitten and gave him my best hiss, even better than the ones I gave Poppy. Mama said I'm lucky he was understanding. I'm doing the best I can, it's trying times around here.

Hi, I Chester (2M dilute orange Good Boy)! I used to be Apprentice Maintenance Guy, but I get Bored of that since Maintenance Guy Duke not visit so much. I think I Learned Everything Already.

But!! New Apprenticeship! I am now Apprentice Cleaning Guy Chester! When Big Friend Miles (29 NB Best Friend who I live with) Clean I, Chester, stand Very Close! Stick face in Vacuum! Climb in Dishwasher! Pounce on Towel! HELP SO MUCH!

Big Friend Miles say “Chester, get Out Of The Way!” which means I am Helping, but also they call me a Cloaca sometimes. If Learning mean I the Cloaca, then I guess I will still have to be Cloaca, but I want to be Good Boy Chester and Learning Boy Chester. Am I really the Cloaca?

(Note from Big Friend Miles: Maintenance Guy Duke is well, but the big plumbing fix on our bathroom finished a couple of months ago so he hasn’t been by the apartment in a while.)

Good evening, other doggies (and also evil kitties and whatever other animals visit this subreddit)! Sleepy Penny here!

I do kinda think that without spoilers I can say that this baseball game that taked place in Dodgers Stadium is over now and that there was fiery works that wented off a few minutes ago! Grandpa is satisfied enough with the results having…well, grown up in Boston and currently living in California, so that’s all well and good for him but I don’t know anything about sports so all I know is that there was loud sounds just now which maked me scared which makes Mommy sad as a result! But all I did to be scared was live in SoCal so AITC fur that?

Hello! I be Ham! The hooman calls me pretty baby. Nearly three months! I live with Food Lady and spare hooman and sometimes furless kittens.

The hoomans rescued me and Fish (my sister!) almost a month ago. So far, is good. I get all the snuggles. The food lady calls me a snuggle bug. I hold her hostage for hours at a time! And she doesn’t even try to move! She had very good training from her previous cat that stuck.

However! The outrage! I am growing kitten. I need all the food. But! Whenever the big hoomans eat, or the furless kittens eat, I am not allowed the food! No tax of any kind! I try to do sneaks of food, but I’m still learning how to be sneaky so the hoomans catch me. And then… the spare hoomans locks me and sister in big bed room! Horror!

I cry out loud and make Food Lady feel bad. Food lady says the food wouldn’t be good for me, but how could it not be good? Is food! Fish sister doesn’t care the same way, so she just silently judges my attempts. She doesn’t even try to scream at them to hurry up when it’s our turn to eat! She just sits patiently.

But I am not the cloaca right? Spare hooman and Food Lady are! Especially for locking us in room! Is my right to eat all the foods in the house!

Ham the snuggle bug

Hello! Am (almost) 3 year old shep mix Arlo.

I go to place called ‘work’ with Dad once every week or two. Dad go to work almost every day but sometimes take me with him. ‘Work’ is something called a ‘dog ee day care and kennel’ where many canine friend come to stay sometimes long while and sometimes just for day like me. We go play in big yards.

When I go work with Dad I have to wear my special face mask, because I do NOT like strangers and sometimes am nervous of new humans at work. I am mostly a nice boy with other dogs just loud sometimes!!!

I wear special face mask out all the time but don’t see other dog with it very often. Sometimes at Dad work I see other dog with face mask and get excited!!! We are matching!!! Sometimes dog with face mask wear it because they are like me or they get too mouthy when we play but sometimes dog wear it because they are grumpy.

I always want to tell them we match though!!!! So I try to play with them and sometimes dad say ARLO LEAVE IT and UGH I leave it just in case dad have treat or ball for me but I think he should let me make friend with all scary dogs!!! Why have face mask dog at work if not for friendship? Dad say I am the cloaca for ‘always trying to befriend the worst possible dogs’ but I think he is wrong and face mask dog are always my friend!

A note from dad: my work takes a lot of reactive and aggressive dogs, some of which are muzzle trained like Arlo is and are being gently socialized. Arlo is often a good candidate for helping with this because he is good at not being too overwhelming most of the time and sets boundaries without being too harsh on an undersocialized dog. I don’t always make him wear his muzzle anymore because most days he isn’t very spicy but he wears it enough that he seems to pick out other dogs who have them like it’s his job and is immediately Sure that they are to be his new best friend. Annoyingly, sometimes he’s right lol.

I did a very good crime when meowmy was getting ready to go sleep today and I sneak out of house. Meowmy come outside to see me hanging out with the cute creamsicle boy from next door. All my life I showed and told meowmy no other cats when she try to get me a kitty friend. I am queen of house. Stupid dogs ok though. Anyway, mommy said hello and I run away around corner because I didn’t want to go inside yet. But then I was betrayed! Creamsicle kitty said hello to my meowmy and rubbed her ankle. And then my meowmy PETTED HIM!!!!!!! That was too much, so I ran back over and hiss at creamsicle boy and bap bap him on the head. He should not touch or talk to my meowmy! Meowmy said I was a cloaca and I went back inside. I’m not talking to or cuddling meowmy right now. I am very mad and meowmy needs to be ignored so she knows not to talk to other kitties any more. Signed, George the girl tortie

Dis Lucius! Gramma doin de clack clack and not holding me. I jump in her lap, she pets less than half pet, then says, "I can't work and hold you!" She put me on floor. I mad so I step on long box with plugs and make the light boxes go dark.

Gramma screem! She say I de c-word (I can't says it), and I turned off the computer!

I laugh. I am the C and I don't care!

Hello, I am Lily, 5f, and usually I am half terrier half corgi. Today I decide to be hamster. When my best friend M give me carrot, I eat most of it, but I keep a big chunk stored in my cheek, like hamster. Well, later my other best friend F gives me scritches on face and she has big scare, says to M “M, we need to go to the pokey place, Lily has a huge lump on her jaw!” M and F take look at me and find secret hidden carrot. M says “Lily, why are you acting like a hamster? You scared us!” But is not my fault they get scared. I was just hamster for a day. What do you say?

It’s I, Belle (1yr, F, Sheltie) again. I iz fast. I like jumping esp..espec…with my humans around. Sometimes use humans as spring if on ground with me. I no bother to look where jumping all is mine. Sometimes Playtoy no like where I jump and call me cloaca. I no cloaca. I iz only claiming what is mine.

Furevers ago, Playtoy got sick. Sick is cloaca! Sick took Playtoy away from me. Sick caused other humans to come and go furevers more than normal. Now Master iz saying I no jump on Playtoy with no bother to look. I i no cloaca! Can my humans not see the sick iz cloaca?

Is Astrid the Invincible agan. Sori furr posting so mch! I tink i mybe tc here. U see, nu momther tok me to pokey place to get "spayed", but dunno wat dat mens. Nyway, I tink I mst had gon to slep cuz wen I woke up, waz in box agan. I tink falled aseep gain cuz we got bck in rum qu- cui- fast. Nyway, nu momther wuz pat head and said ITC for trickery!! Parently, I had alrdy ben this "spayed" nd dey poked me for no reson! Nu momther agreed dat vet is real tc, but momther sed no way of nowing cuz pokey place dat spayed me no put dot on tummy. Now haf t ware dis stpid outfeet!

I not tc, right?

(Momther note here: I got Astrid from the streets with no papers and no microchip. So without the dot or without opening her up, there was no way to see if she'd been spayed. So I feel bad now.)

Greetings! I am Tallulah but you can call me Lubert. I live with the boring human (never does anything fun or interesting, is basically Lydia from Skyrim), the annoying human (weird size, too affectionate, gone half the time and will soon be moving away FOREVER I HOPE), my dog brother (nice but old so not very fun), and Her Ordained Majesty, the God-Empress of the Universe. I love Her Ordained Majesty so much that I feel the urge to bark, like, all the time. There are so many things I need to warn her about, plus sometimes she manages to not even pay much attention to me so I need to bark for that too. Plus barking is just fun and feels good. But The Presence tells me not to bark, and I feel like I should probably do what she says because I love her sooooooo much.

Why I might not be the cloaca: there are so many dangers out there that she doesn't notice, I feel like I am doing my most important job by protecting her and keeping her safe. The weird guy who leaves stuff on the porch every day probably would've kidnapped her like 12 times if not for me. I have been working my ass off for over two years on 24/7/365 protection duty, and I don't even get overtime pay or bonuses. I know HOM is a perfect human being so it's not her fault, but Boy-Lydia could at least give me some cheese now and then.

My nam is Christie-Cat (2.5F). Sometimes my hoomans call me Christie-Brat, or Menace. They are my frens.

I am smol, so I like to be tall-high. One time I found a tall place in the kitchen above the stove. It a great new place with lots of smells! But when I jump down, there was a big boom-crash. I run away so my hoomans don’t know it me, but they find me and say I naughty for breaking the coffee pot. They cranky in mornings after for days and days and weeks and years. But my high place was fun so I don’t know why?

After that I got a new tall-high tree. It so tall, I touch the ceiling on the top! Me and my sister like looking down on the peasants, I mean humans. But I still want more new places!

I found a new tall-high place that I can get to by jumping from bookshelf. It loooong jump, but I a good jumper. When I jump there was another big boom-crash. When my hooman put me back on the ground, there now a fun pile of dirt! I like dirt! My hooman say I naughty again for breaking her favourite llama pot. But the new high place was fun so I still don’t know why?

I tried to show her my belly like I do when I let her know I’m a good cat who deserves pats and treats and pats. But she still say I a menace? AITC because I want to be tall-high?

Hello! I is Elwing, the 8mo pet rat girl. I lives wif little sister Elanor (7mo), big sisters Celebrian and Rosie (20mo) and elderly sister Idril (32mo). We has human mom.

When we do out of cage playtime, I likes to do splore. I really like finding places I not supposed to be. It also make mom pay more attention to me. I likes attention and play wif mom.

So while I wuz on bedside table (and mom telling me no), I find very cool thing. It big bag of syringes. Now, syringes is very exciting. Often have treats inside. Idril get her special food in syringe and we sometimes get to taste. Also, sometimes mom gib us almost empty syringe. Is fun to play wif and tear apart. Big sisters say syringe not always fun. Sometimes hab evil medsin. But that never happen to me, so I lubs syringes.

Now, these syringes be empty (sad), but there be lots of them. So I climbs into bag to try to carry them away. But mom do me a GRAB and say "No!" So I do logical thing. When she no looking, I goes back. I now do this every playtime. It good game, even tho mom no let me take any syringes away. But mom say I TC acause she need bag of clean syringes. She no want to lock them up because it less "convenient". But I thinks she shoulds not be hoard all the fun toys like that.

What you think?

Hi! I am Mouse-cat! I am teen! Thir teen weeks! At the place with cages and many anmals they told me I was a boy. But my new human told me I was a girl. So that was a secret I guess!

I am at new house with human, big human, spare human, and Helene (void girl cat, 5 years, new friend!). Helene hissed at me at first but now we chase! Maybe some day snuggle! Helene told me about crimez! So I tried a crimez! I pooped in the sink!

It was good because I pooped. But then it was bad because the sink was slippery and I stepped in the poop!! But was ok because I cleaned myself. All good. But the human said “why did you do that??” and cleaned it up. Then stuck me in the sink and washed all my clean paws! So that was bad. But, crimez, so I did it again later! That time was all good because I did not step in. Human did not agree. She cleaned it and then covered the sink so no more pooping there. Sad.

Did I do good crimez? AITC? And is being the cloaca bad or good? Helene says I am a silly Mouse-cat and need to learn catting. I think I know how to cat because I born that way.

Hi! My name at da skeery loud place was Citrine, but the lady who takes me away from der say I am Theo. She is Mama an my new brudder is Sam.

I not sure about dis place but think maybe okay? Mama is nice, she gives food and treats and pets and toys and lets me hide when I’m scared. She not get mad when I do big poop on car-pet. Sam is kind of skeery, he big and do growl but not try to hurt me. Maybe we play later.

Anyways, I do nap on dis bed. Mama laugh an say new brudder maybe run heerz to do more complain!

I’m not cloaca, am I? Mama call me “good boy Theo” lots an lots.

Meowmy put her weird furs in da loud boxes today. She call dis "doing da lawndree", I dunno why she not just lick furs like catses, is mor effish -- offic -- faster. Anywayz, den it wuz time to put away all da clean furs in da closit. Like alwayz, she furst set up mai bed (is her softy purrple robe all foldeded up like I likes it) next to her so's I can soopervize. Den she start do putaways.

But da ting is... I kind of wanted do crimez. Hadn't done crimez for eleventy billion years, basically wuz being "good girl" at dis point (PUKE, AMIRITE??). So I decided insted of sit on mai bed, I sit on clean furs. Anywayz is easier to soopervize wen I closer! But Meowmy sed dis was CLOKA behavpurr an also "clear evidence of criminal tendencies". (Dat last part feel more like komplamint, to be honess.)

Den she took pikchurr of me an put on r/catsareassholes (iznt dis hate crime to cats???) So I comes here to ask: AITC?

Hello! Tis I Astrid the Invincible (9F, grey tuxie). I tink nu momther shud sty in rum. Sh keep trying to leve. She sit at magic box all day nd I sitted on hr lap. She kep getting up!! Cudn't bleve it! At one pont, she made the magic box go blank. She try to leve rum, so I run to door and hisssss. I say hisss at her. Bt she no listen! She just say to 'stop it, Astrid, I hafta go to the bathroom' (yeah, I had chai and you'd been sitting on my lap for an hour)

Nyway, momther left and many moons later (it was like an hour. I was eating dinner) shhhh. She cm bak! She giv me yucky ai drops, bt I good kit. Do not run or growl. But thn!!! She try to lve again! So I run to door and hiss and growl. Momther no leave!! Nyway, she mve me out of way and leve! She say itc for hissin, but ai say she tc for leving me!

What say you, frends?

I is Reese. Also Reesy-Roo. Mom even make my own theme song. (Reesey Reesy Roo, where are you?) I is 1 year old. I is female. I is Daniff. I is beautiful and everyone tells me. I is also itty bitty tiny baby. On to issue.

I has important job. “Office moose” which means I watch people outside office window. I greet everyone and make sure they pay the entry pets fee. I think moose just mean tiny thing, because I is very tiny. I also alarm for important times. Times like eating and leaving. When I alarm, I rest my teeny tiny head on mom arm to say “time to go” but sometimes mom say “not time to go” or “still have hour” which can’t be right, cause hour is time, and time is meaningless. I just know is time to eat or time to go. And I tell mom. Sometimes she says something really crazy like “I just filled your bowl 5 minute ago, how are you out?” But then she take me outside, and I get to smell the dumpster, which is always magic.

Today she say “you cloaca, you’re heavy head is killing my arm!” But how can tiniest of heads even be heavy? It makes no sense. And then she say “you cloaca because I tell you it’s not time yet and you keep bugging” but I not bug? I small like bug, but I not bug… mom just confusing.

Reddit, tell mom I is not cloaca. She say she listen to your judgement.

(Pic in comments)

Frens, I cannot BELIEFZ what has happened! The Betrayer (furmerly Mama) brought home an introoderz and tell me it my new brofur! It smells funny and just curls up behind chair and…I can hardly say this part frens…it eat my treats!

He’s just a baby and in a new place. Once he knows he’s safe here you two will have so much fun-

SILENZ BETRAYER! Anyway, when food timez come I do tiny little growl so it know not to get funnee ideaz about my bowl. No showing teefers or do a snap, just warning. The Betrayer call me cloaca and say don’t growl at the baby!

Frens, I am speetch…speef…don’t knows what to say! This is Da WURST!

I Perry Linus Jackson, first of my name, King of the Sandals, the Trainers and the Tennis Balls, Lord Paramount of the Park and all of my Kingdoms, Indisputable leader of the Pack and Protector of the Mum, did a proclaim last Wendesday that I intendeded to leave earthly realm behind this past Catturday and move my Throne Room to the other side of the Rain-bow Vridge. Ever since, my silly Bruders and Sisters have been doing the up-rising trying to steals my Throne all doing the claiming they most pretty, most popular, most clever, best hunter, most black. Not tru. We waged glorious war. I barked my orders and they capitulated. So when the vetenterarian came home to help me over the Rain-Bow I had won my war and went a hero of this and many dog and human battles and adventures. If the Pack thought I would go quietly into the night they were very wrong as I have hidden many tokens and memorials of me and of my Kingdom in the realm, so they will never take my Throne. The Pack say I cloaca because one of them should rule or at least do the impression of rule, but I say they Cloaca for revolting and they mere subjects of the Kingdom I will rule forever. What say you fellow rulers of other Kingdoms, AITC?

^Hello

I am Stella and I don’t know where I am, or where my mom is. I’ve been to this place once before, when I was a kitten, but this time my mom brought all my stuff and said a tearful goodbye.

Last night I cowered in my crate in Girlchild’s room. She speaks to me very gently and offers licky treats. I think she might be a monster. The other people who’ve come to check on me are definitely monsters. And when I was being transported through the house, I saw an actual, literal monster…the people called it “dog” and “Maxy”. I told him ^hiss.

It seems I might be here for an extended stay. I want to go home but my mom said she needs to find a home and that’s why she asked her friend to keep me for a while. It’s been a while, almost 15 hours. I’m ready to go.

Lady just came in to visit with me and I’m hiding in the farthest corner under Girlchild’s bed. AITC if I just stay under here for a so-called “while”? Or until Mom lands on her feet? It’s very easy, cats do it all the time.

UPDATE: My mom came back!!! 😸 She said she forgot a few things, like my favorite ball and bed. I darted out from under the bed and wove figure eights between her legs for ten minutes. But then Mom got choked up again, picked me up and hugged me, then said goodbye again. I’m sure she’ll be back tomorrow…right?

[Lady update: 😭😭😭 Her mom has to move to a different part of the country. We hope to reunite them in a few months once she’s back on her feet. Meanwhile, Stella will know nothing but love and kindness here.]

Deuce (7m blue nose pit bull) here. Mom left me today! Rude! She came home and took me for a walk and gave me my lunch but then she left again. She’s not supposed to do that on the weekend. When she came back home, we went for another walk and she gave me my dinner but we didn’t go to bed right away. I started growling and barking. She said I needed to be quiet because our human roommates need to go to work early. Finally she cleaned up the kitchen and got laundry out of the dryer. Then she put clean sheets on the bed and I helped.

(You did not help; a 70-pound dog lying on a fitted sheet makes it a lot harder to make up a bed.)

Sam (13m gray and white piebald cat) here. Mom needed to change the sheets so I horked up some crunchies and a hairball on the fitted sheet. (#sorrynotsorry). She stripped the bed and washed them so now I have a nice clean bed. But just for variety I also made a nest in the rest of the clean laundry.

(At least it’s not my work clothes.)

We can’t possibly be TC, right?

(I really feel for my roommates. One has to get up at 3:30 for her job as a baker’s apprentice, and the other starts a new job tomorrow.)

Halooo I am BESTEST TOASTY MARSHMALLOW KITTYCAT BOY SHIRO age 1 or so, and my bruvver Dodie calls me a cloaca everyday all day long because I bite his tail and slap him in the face with MY TAIL heeeee

Anyways I gotta question, tomorrow I'm sposed to do a "nooter" and I'm not sure what that is. Brothercat just laffed at me and called me a dumb butt in Meow so I stoled the cactus toy from him

I used to live OUTSIDE, I was hunter trash kitty but now I only see the birbs from Window and on Teevee (no cats on TEEVEE)

Anyway what's a nooter an why I gotta do one? AITC for playing with old man crankycat?