Only ten days sober, but looking for support where I can. I would have never done this without this amazing change in my life

They don't consider the social pressure and its constant promotion of alcohol (even partially hiding the negative effects on health), nor the higher cases of people developing anxiety and depression and looking for alcohol to cope with it, that study isn't even representative enough:

https://www.sciencealert.com/your-iq-in-high-school-can-predict-your-alcohol-use-later-in-life

I was drinking 12 to 16 units a week roughly, and then I had a holiday with heavy drinking then stopped. My anxiety hasn't been good and my physical stress symptoms are worse. Anyone else experience this before things got better?

I try so, so hard and put a lot of effort into being supportive, caring, and understanding of people. But I really lose patience with friends who make plans with me, only to get the "I'm way too hungover to make it by the time we agreed (or at all)" text in the morning. I try to stay kind about it to them directly, but deep down I'm really, really irritated.

It's not like you got food poisoning. It's not like you caught the flu. You had control over this. You are literally capable of planning your own hangover, so the NIGHT BEFORE, you chose to fuck up the plans we had for WEEKS? And this is the second time!

What's the phrase the kids say these days? "Miss me with that shit"? I'm so annoyed. It annoys me even when it's not hangovers, but hangovers as the reason for missing our plans makes me want to scream.

(I'll get over it, I just needed one person I could kvetch to.)

Basically prior to becoming fully teetotal I bought some spirits and wine for special occasions but obviously haven't opened them and hopefully never will

How do you all suggest I get rid of thrm it does seem a bit of a waste pouring thrm down thr sink or throwing them in the bin.

But at the same time I don't really wanna gift them and add to the societal problems of alcohol acceptance or potentially even mske someone a Alcoholic.

Do you chaps and chapettes have any other ideas?

Has there ever been a culture or society which has used alcohol sensibly? I would be surprised if the answer is yes, but I'm curious to hear people's thoughts.

Don’t think I need to go into too much detail about the ridicule nondrinkers face in society.  Nondrinkers aren’t welcome in drinking spaces, except most of society is a drinking space, and drinking has woven its way into just about every event and hobby - baseball games, movies, nightly dinners, rec sports beer leagues, paint and sips, the list goes on.  The only places nondrinkers are truly welcome are third spaces, which are rare, low-quality, and not given any kind of support.  It’s segregated facilities all over again, literal segregated water fountains, if you will.  Except even activities that are supposed to be alcohol-free will regularly have booze snuck in. 

The argument against judgy drinkers is always “maybe you just need to hang out with better people.”  But that’s the thing- this attitude is commonplace with all drinkers.  And I get that they can’t help it, it’s just that drinkers and nondrinkers have completely different worldviews that cannot coexist, like Muslims and Christians, cobras and mongooses, liberals and conservatives, take your pick.  Each side judging the other and claiming self-defense because the other threw the first judgy punch.  They are natural-born–enemies, two completely separate classes of society. Nondrinkers even have their own glass ceiling- they earn 10-14% less than drinkers (https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12122-006-1031-y).

There’s plenty of evidence on Reddit to back it up, just read one of the million dating posts on here asking if being a nondrinker is a dealbreaker, and the responses range from ridicule and hate at worst, to a respectful yes at best.  But the end results are all the same- yes, being a nondrinker is one of the biggest red flags a person can have, and nondrinkers and drinkers are incompatible in relationships.  With that, the only place you won’t find that judginess is with fellow nondrinkers in your own tribe, so you’re pretty much forced to pick from a small minority of partners at the bottom of a separate, much smaller barrel- yet another example of nondrinkers being segregated and getting the short end of the stick.

Sure you could make the argument that things like race or sexuality are real and worse because they aren’t choices, they’re things you were born with, but what about people scared off from alcohol by alcoholic parents?  They didn’t choose to be born to them.

I'm curious what response I'll get to this on the original post.

Different households have different attitudes towards alcohol with their kids/teens, and different levels of exposure.

For some, alcohol is rarely, if ever, a factor, so they don't really get exposure. Or perhaps some families treat it as taboo or forbidden, which many have said lead them to be desperate to try it and not have the experience to do it sensibly.

For some households alcohol is a wholly negative thing. Abuse, trauma, or perhaps just no care for how kids are raised with it. I feel like this either turns people way off it, or continues the cycle of abuse as the kids learn to drink that way.

Some are more in the middle. Perhaps allowing teens a drink if they're curious, doing it under supervision etc. This might include education. These families probably drink at a level considered acceptable or moderate by society.

I'm curious to hear from people about their experiences and how you think it affected your relationship with alcohol. Even if you don't fit into one of the categories above!

I'm particularly interested in those in the last category, who feel they had a sensible upbringing about it, but still ended up developing a problem with it. But all stories welcome!

Alcoholic beverages taste like ass almost 100% of the time people will pay up to look fancy to essentially drink things that taste horrible. I guess there is an argument for girly drinks but even those would be better without alcohol in them lmao idk it's just a funny thought I had. I also know people do it to be drunk as well but God with a tastes like that idk how you could drink more than half of a tall can. Ordering these drinks is like asking for the waiter to give you an entree of the kitchens trash can lol

Hi all, so as I've written. I'm in a really great transitional phase in life and looking to get more into reading as I find myself doom scrolling. I live books like Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha which have profoundly supported my growth. Do you have some to suggest? Thanks in advance!

A common thing we're told to do as nondrinkers is to grab a soda that looks alcoholic to blend in (coke could be a rum & coke, a sprite looks like a g&t, etc.)

Personally it never felt right to me, like I was giving off the wrong impression. If I fake drinking on a first date or something and I see them again, I've dug myself a hole I'll have to lie my way out of eventually.

I also don't really want people to think I drink. I can't tell you how many times I've come to like a person and then once I see them with a drink I lose all respect for them. I would hate to do that to another nondrinker, someone out there who's looking for a sober friend and sees me with my (fake) drink, unknowingly assumes I'm a drinker, and loses respect for me

Hello my fellow teetotalers! I’m really glad that I learned about this sub and know that there are plenty of people out there who share my teetotal lifestyle! I’m a 23M college student, and knowing how college has always been an environment where many take part in drinking because it’s the “fun thing to do”, I usually find myself to be the only person who never drinks. That being said, I’ve never obliged to it and I’m very proud of not giving in and continuing to stick to consuming my non-alcoholic beverages. I wanted to know if there are any college students in this sub and what your experiences are like being teetotal in a college environment.

Hey my teetotal/sober peeps. So I 25M have had a hard time finding people who share my values against drinking and smoking. How do you all do so especially in today's drinking heavy dating culture? I'm a Christian, so I'm looking for that too, but it seems impossible to find people, even filtering by that that don't drink. Any tips?

I did it. I hosted a dry birthday party. And it was no problem!

I posted here a while ago about my anxiety over doing this. In my head, people were going to be sitting around twiddling their thumbs and awkwardly not socialising if I didn't serve alcohol.

Lots of people here were encouraging and helpful. There were some naysayers, who said the party would fall flat and I'd just have to accept that people can't party without drinks.

I provided food and soft drinks. There were games, organised activities, etc. And it was great! People didn't leave early because it wasn't fun, people genuinely had a good time. Nobody even commented. My fears were unfounded.

Just wanted to share, in case it encourages anyone else who is worrying like I was. Obviously it depends on your friends, I guess mine are good ones, and not everyone is lucky enough to have that. But if you think they'll cope, go ahead and have the party you want!

Thanks to all those who encouraged me

When I was a teenager my friends would do stuff with weed every once in a while but it never bothered me because they didn't do it around me. We would just hang out and life was alright and then i found out about competitive gaming and somehow all my friends were interested as well. We all traveled to tournaments and had pizza parties at each other's houses frequently it was so fun and when would travel we would walk around and explore go bowling eat out places etc. life felt like a movie and I was on top of the world. Then people started getting less interested for some reason and the hang outs started happening less frequently then alot of my friends moved to college I tried to contact them but they were busy most of the time. Most of them were heavy into weed and alcohol at this point and it just ruined their personalities. It made me feel like drugs and alcohol were more important than me to them. I have never recovered I'm 29 and I don't trust anyone now everyone has some weird degenerate vice or angle I swear. Lastly my one friend smoked weed all the time and had a friend group in college he stopped bringing weed to the hangouts and they never called him back to hang out lmao. Literal morons

First time posting here 35m on SSRIs.

I’ve had an issue with drinking over the years.

Pushing myself to oblivion, on nights out. Light to heavy drinking at home Always looking for an excuse to.get a couple of swift ones in.

However when it gets heavy, there’s a passenger within me that wants to take me to oblivion and I get blackouts.

Nothing bad has happened, but it will get me into trouble one day I think.

Writing this out now makes me feel I really have a problem and “teetotal” seems to by only way out.

I know a friend that was in a similar place and he’s been doing really well.

However I’m interested on what made make that choice?

I've been teetotal my whole life. I really hate the concept of alcohol (for me it's just another drug), and the fact that it is glorified in our society. I become very uncomfortable around people who drink, even if they are not drunk. I don't have any trauma with alcoholics nor any bad experience.

The thing is my boyfriend enjoys drinking (thankfully not to the point of being drunk). Last night we had dinner with some friends and he had some drinks. It not only made me feel uncomfortable, but it affected my mood to the point of holding back tears. I was grumpy and unseasy for the rest of the night.

I don't want to feel like this everytime he drinks. We talked about it and he said he won't drink when we are together, but I don't want him to give up something he likes... It makes me feel like an awful girlfriend.

Any tips on how to deal with this aversion?

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeW6NPdq/

Basically the title. I personally entirely agree with this person's point of view. What do y'all think?