Do you ever feel like the universe is trying to tell you something?

Backstory: Back in February I(F29) met a guy(M28) named Connor and dated him for 3 weeks. Things didn’t work out because he was very recently separated from his wife and just starting to go through the divorce process.

Honestly I was heartbroken that it didn’t work out because I really felt like he could be the one. I know I only knew him for 3 weeks, but it felt so different than anything else I’d ever experienced. When he ended things he said he felt strongly about me, but it was just bad timing and he didn’t want to hurt me as he was trying to heal from the trauma of his marriage. Anyways it’s been almost two months since we last spoke and I’ve had time to feel better about the situation, but he’s still on my mind.

Main point of the Story: A couple weeks ago I saw a flyer for a festival of community band performances in my city and as a musician I was interested in going. As I read the line up I saw that the band Conner played in performed at 2:00pm. I thought about going to his performance, but I decided I shouldn’t go with the intention to see him.

On Saturday (the day of the festival) I felt like I needed to get out of the house and decided I wanted to go to the festival after all, but just not watch him. Another band I was actually interested performed at 4pm so I thought I should be able to go and probably not run in to him. Realistically I knew there was a high chance I would run into him and talk to him. But I just ignored that and decided to go.

Well as luck or fate or whoever would have it I showed up to the venue and it was completely empty. I was confused and parked and looked at the flyer to make sure I was at the correct location, I was. I went on Facebook to see if there were any changes and it turns out they had canceled the whole festival due to the potential of rain. Honestly I was a little stunned to see that. But once reality set in I couldn’t help but laugh. I was laughing at how even though I told myself I wasn’t going to see him or talk to him my intentions of going to the festival were mostly driven by him. And it felt like the universe was telling me “Girl. Nice try.”

Idk the whole situation felt very comical to me.

Not sad or civilized enough to go vegan, though.

I was on a camping trip in the Rockies with my youth group and at the campsite we hiked all day to get to, I was galavanting around exploring the area's resources- namely lamb's ear, what I incessantly believed to be lavender (probably wasn't though, tbh), and rocks. One such rock I found was a flat, brown rock that I foolishly believed to contain iron- based solely on texture and it being iron color- and I decided to test that theory by sticking it in the fire for a while to see if the ores would heat up and start to glow. (ㆆ_ㆆ) After a few minutes of nothing happening, I decided it was time to take it out of the fire, which I did by nudging it out of the flames with a nearby stick. That was my smart moment.

The next moment was not so smart, as maybe 5~10 seconds after doing so, I tried to pick it up by pinching it between two very exposed fingers. Fortunately, the river was just a short sprint down a small hill so I was able to tend to it asap.

A couple days later on one of our hikes, I decided that I should try to pick a cactus leaf to take home as a souvenir. Figuring that handling cactus leaves would be hazardous due to their spines, I located one that appeared to not have any spines that would stick me and grabbed it with the same fingers I had previously burned on the rock.

I had a little heart to heart with myself after this happened, because the tiny cactus needles that I couldn't see on the leaf went into my fingers.

Basically, there’s this one game I think is very cool but have issues with the controls and so I’m rather salty about it and say the game’s difficult

I bit weird compliment, but maybe one of the reasons i fell in love with him :D

And it's true. When i smile, my lips uncover a few more teeth than on an average face.

He always makes me happy- our wedding cake was triple decadent-dark chocolate spongecakes, layered with chocolate ganache and cocoa buttercream.

I do love to have nice things, and nothing is too good for the working class. (I just hate to buy new when something recycled or free will do the trick.) So we also treated ourselves by eloping to an island wedding, thus avoiding potential family drama over conflicting religious traditions. It was perfect, and I highly recommend this course.

Back then, I chose not to run off to the Caribbean, but I surely built my own paradise here on the mainland. We celebrate thirteen years together, this month. Huzzah!

There's gotta be like 60 on there now. My friend and I have been doing it since February. It started with random ones we got from other teachers, then some corny animal pun ones that I got from the dollar store, and now post office labels they put on packages (fragile, express mail, heavy, etc.). He's onto me but hasn't caught us in the act yet. We're gonna keep this up for the remainder of our time in high school since he doesn't mind the stickers.

So I was going somewhere a few days ago and I got lost.. in the middle of the city where I was born and brought up. I had to ask like 5 or 6 people directions and effectively turned my 15-min travel into a half hour one. I also can't do mental maps (like how do people say "Go left, and then right"?). I also suck at giving directions to somebody, it's like I know the way but forget just the middle part of it.

I understand how they work and how you’re supposed to use one but I literally can’t do it without burning my fingers. I basically avoid every situation that requires using one.

I have a little problem where I stop blinking or at the least take a long time in between blinks, which imo are too light for my tear ducts to do any work. This has gone on for a number of years (at least 10, I believe), and I finally figured out a few weeks ago that the puffy feeling in my eyes I'd always attributed to being tired was actually puffy because they're dry as hell.

I (in my 30s) have multiple graduate degrees, can speak multiple languages, and am pretty well-traveled around the world, in some cases to places where not many people are even allowed to go and with no internet connection. No known or diagnosed brain issues but, dear me, it takes me a few awkward seconds to figure out which direction is left and which is right. I used all tactics (the L shape on my left, wait was it on right?) and used navigation devices to no avail. I can NEVER give directions to people as I am eternally confused and directionally challenged myself. It is a miracle I never got lost even though I got to where to I need to go a bit late or after multiple wrong turnarounds.

Someone recommended I post this here (thank you btw) so yes it’s self explanatory

Breathing: I somehow can forget to breathe unintentionally, choke on nothing multiple times a day, often breathe through my mouth rather than my nose even when I’m not sick and end up looking like an idiot.

Walking too: I have the uncanny ability to trip over absolutely nothing, usually at least 3 times a day. It’s honestly amazing I haven’t sustained any major injuries from just walking yet.

…and I’m a 32 year old man. I have to count around the clock and then convert it into 24 hour time to understand it.

I remember my parents and teachers trying forever to get me to learn it but it just never stuck.

Please tell me I’m not the only one.

I (16F) was riding the bus home from school once and when it stopped by the 1st stop, this girl (who was in the same English class as me last semester, was in a few group projects with her and also rode the same bus as me) walked by me and saw me, smiled and said “Oh, hi cutie!” when she was about to get off and I got really caught off guard when she said it.

When I got off the bus the 2nd stop and went home, i went to my room and i basically almost started bawling my eyes out since no one has ever even called me that before, so hearing that basically made my day way better since I was just tired from school that day

So I was sitting on one of those hard wooden bar stools, so not much room for error when trying to silently fart. I try to lift ever so slightly so the sound won't reverberate too loudly, but i underestimated how big it was going to be.

All of the sudden a loud BRRRRRNTFLULPLPLP came out, but apparently to her, it was the same exact pitch of my voice. At this time she was sitting, talking with my Grandma, and she turns around and goes "what was that you said?"

I couldn't help but start laughing all embarrassed. I had to tell her I didn't say anything and that it was only a fart. My grandma was less than enthused and said she heard my fart but didn't say anything about it and gave an eye roll lol

That ghosts lived on my stairs and they were scared of Santa Claus and luckily today was Christmas Eve(it was July) needless to say I slept all day that day waiting for Santa to save me from ghosts

Whilst watching Apollo 18, my partner decided to lay down on the couch when they noticed the couch cushion smelled like my fart. I didn't sit in that spot for about 30 minutes before, but I do remember farting there earlier. First I checked my underwear to make sure I didn't shart. Then they looked at me with a subtle smile and disgust while they told me to fix it. I punched and fluffed the pillow to the best of my ability but the spot I farted in still smelled. So I offered to buy Fabrees for their couch but they wanted a it fixed now so I googled "how to get a fart out of a couch cushion" and was informed to vacuum the couch. As I vacuumed the couch my fart proceeded to blow in my face from the vacuum's exhaust fan and my partner and I laughed for a solid 3 minutes or so. The cushion no longer smelled and we enjoyed the rest of our movie with a new core memory of our relationship.

So much so, that I’ve now regularly bought pre-shredded cheese, washed it, dried it, then used it for melting down into sauces. 🙃

It was after shadow the hedgehog kissing rp. They sent an email out to my parents who then proceeded to read it out loud to me. That's not why I was banned though, I was banned for trying to teach Spanish through using google translate even though I didn't know a single word myself

I normally cook everything from scratch because I enjoy it, and my partner enjoys the food. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to make my fried rice taste good. So I buy frozen stuff and pan fry it. My partner loves it. Buahahaha.

And crumple them up, throw them away - one by one - when they start being annoying.

So I made the bed, did the dishes, walked the dogs, all my normal daily stuff. BUT, I managed to get done with about an hour to spare. I know, you know exactly where this is going.

I headed straight to my PC and played MW3 for 30 mins, then I whipped out my guitar and learned The Pretender all before she got home! What a rush. She'll never know...muwahahaha!!!

I only realized recently that hens dont need roosters to make eggs. 26 years of my life has been a lie 💀

So when I've been getting more vicious as I've gotten older, my personal favorite stories are these two, from when I was in fourth grade, and when I was in sixth grade. Story one, fourth grade So me and my best friend, L, and I went to the college in my town with her gramps to go to the geology museum. It was about January to may, so school was in session and we were homeschooled. I saw this one college kid just RUNNING. I decided spit of the moment that I wanted to trip the kid. I stuck my leg out and he just FLEW AWAY basically, he faceplanted got up, gave me a fist bump and walked off, still cracks me up.

Second story, sixth grade So I got incredibly, insanely addicted to my sims 4. I played this one game where my character would have triplets and then divorce the husband, she ended up accidentally dating her son, and that ended poorly. She had 42 kids....

Allow me to set the scene. My family, and I went out of state for the holidays to celebrate with family. Majority of our family lives between Illinois and Wisconsin, whereas me and my immediate family live in Kentucky. So the only time we really see our more distant relatives is around the holidays. Because of this we usually always go out for a nicer meal with family, so we can talk, and catch up on life. Unfortunately for me, this particular days destination was Olive Garden.

My love for pasta, garlic, and carbs is deeply rooted within my mom’s (heavily Sicilian) side of the family. As soon as I found out we were going to Olive Garden I was ecstatic. It wasn’t something we did often because it was more expensive so I fully intended on making the most of my experience that day, and BOY OH BOY thats exactly what i did.

With it being around the holidays, i’m sure you can imagine how crowded a place like Olive Garden would be. It took awhile for us to get seated, and by time we finally had a table I desperately had to pee. (If you think you know where this is going, I promise you don’t). I wanted to quickly go so I could be back by time they brought the breadsticks to our table. I asked my mom if I could go to the bathroom, and usually her or my dad would always walk with me to find the bathroom but this particular day I asked my mom and she asked me if I felt comfortable enough to go on my own. All honesty at 8 years old that made me feel like I was finally “grown up”. So excitedly I said yes because that was the first time going to a public bathroom by myself was even an option. It took me a really long time to find the bathroom. I was wondering around for a bit and then ended up asking a waitress to help me find it. She was super sweet and extremely helpful, however I did not take into account I would have to find my way back to my table on my own. After I finished using the bathroom, I went to go find the table my family was at and was having no luck at all. It was honestly scary and overwhelming. So in an attempt to avert my attention I thought “Oh. My families like super loud. I’ll just listen for them.” Which to 8 year old me felt like a full proof plan.

Spoiler alert: it was not.

I aimlessly wondered around mostly looking at the floor, and was trying to really hone in on my hearing abilities. However hindsight I had none. Eventually I heard a massive eruption in laughter and was like “THATS IT. THATS MY FAMILY”. Side note: if you’re wondering how my parents and family didn’t realize I was gone for so long, I’m the middle child. I went toward them, but was still looking low, mainly to avoid eye contact with strangers at this point, and then I seen it. My empty chair and several baskets of breadsticks directly infront of it. I immediately sat and just started chowing down. Everyone was still laughing, and there really wasn’t anyone for me to talk to because the person closest to my age was 13. So I stayed in my own little world and enjoyed my breadsticks. After about 2 breadsticks in the entire table abruptly fell silent. Like EERILY SILENT. I looked up, with half an eaten breadstick clasped in my hand mid chew and to my surprise I was surrounded by a black family with a large party of people. (noting they’re a black family because though I have a strong Sicilian background, I take after the Irish side of my family look wise, and by that I mean I make marshmallows comparatively look beige. Which I feel paints a more humorous picture of the situation)

They all blankly and silently looked at me as I froze in shock. Not knowing what to do as an 8 year old, naturally I panicked. I clasped two more breadsticks in my empty hand and RAN for my life. Why? I honestly don’t know. But that was my initial instinct. I ran through that Olive Garden with those breadsticks clasped in my fist Naruto style until I visually seen my family.

The kicker? My family didn’t even realize when I got back, nor did they ever question why I was petrified, shaking, and looking at my 2 1/2 breadsticks as if they were a bloody murder weapon. I didn’t tell my parents about what happened until week later. This is easily one of the funniest childhood embarrassment memories, but I would give anything to know the perspective of the strangers I stole food from. I laugh so hard every time I in-vision what their pov of the situation was.

If you’ve read this far, I hope this makes your day a little more joyful. If you do want some sort of take away from this: Learn from my mistake, and just use your eyes when you’re trying to find your restaurant table lol.

The economy and job market is so bad, I’m considering alternative income options including selling fart content, maybe an OF, fart jars, etc… I’m a man, and farts are literally the only thing I produce that’s in demand for profit right now, that’s how bad it is 😂

No candle. No music. Lights off. Silence.

It's kinda peaceful.

Don't worry, i don't drink them too often