It’s probably a little overboard when compared to other companies, but my customers pay good money so I’m doing everything I can to give them the best lawn on the block.

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50-55 degree soil temp (sometime in March): Milorganite, full bag spread by poking a hole in the bag and walking around in concentric circles.

After second cut when all or most of the grass is growing (usually early to mid April): Reduced rate of "Milo", our locally produced version of Milorganite.

Mid May: Milo. Here’s your big spring shot of N.

Early June: Milorganite and leave the empty bags on the ground for grub and insect control

First week of July: Reduced rate of Milo, just in time to give your 4th of July celebrations a nice green lawn and the smell of success.

Late August/Early September: Double rate Milo. Big shot of N and iron to help the lawn get back in shape after the brutal heat of summer.

Mid October: Milorganite. This is pretty much your winter fert.

I’ve got all these holes in my lawn after aerating. Should I fill them in? How do you guys do it?

GUYS, I just refied my house and saved a ton of money because interest is super low and from the savings I've locked into milorganite futures at $9.00 / bag for a pallet purchase each year over the next 30 years, which I was able to roll into the home refi so it's like free milorganite for until my house is paid off unless I refi again in 10 years for another 30 years and then I'll have to come up with a way to figure out a pallet purchase per year for another.....10 years I guess but I refi in 5 years for 30 years then I dn9't know what I would have to do for a free supply of pallatized milo for the life of the time I'm making payments on my home it's just something that I didn't even know was a thing and wanted to let you guys know too because awesome!

I know at least one of you have done it before so lets talk about it. Anything having to do with soiling yourself, sometimes it's a total accident and that's okay.

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts recommending using Pete Moss for your lawncare without much awareness of the fact that he's a major A-hole. I came home from the office after hiring him to aerate my yard and found the work half done, and him inside laying on my bed watching TV with my wife. He also burned a hole in my bathrobe with his cigar.

I know not everyone will care about this, but there are many alternatives out there to Pete who, again, is a big time A-hole.

I threw down some premium fescue during my oversees in 2017. I've been watering the heck out of the spot since then and so far nothing. The rest of my yard has undergone many deaths and rebirths since.

I am thinking that fescues can take a while to germinate so I'm probably going to sit tight. Is there anything else I can do?

Click here to see what all 150 of us look like screwing up weed identification and tenacity milorganite tenacity aerate aerate overseer woooooo!

What is this creature that keeps showing up in my back yard? It's ruining my lawn and even spreading indoors!

Guys, should I quit? Need money for next season’sdomination line budget.

Rule 1: there’s a ghost dog that comes out every 3rd waxing moon in even numbered years, but every full moon odd numbered years and if you make eye contact with it at 4:20am it will shit ghost poop on lawn that you have to mix into your strawberry smoothie.

Rule 2...Once a week or so these tall, skinny, dressed in all black clothes guys show up unannounced and try to spray fertilizer on the lawn and then charge my boss for it when he never contracted their services. If you don’t catch them before they start their application then you get put into solitary in the quality assurance testing room of the ugly dolls where all their emotionless porcelain faces stare into your face until you provide each of them three doots.

C, you have to update the “it’s been xxx days since last safety mishap” sign every day but it’s done in Roman numerals and I don’t ever remember if C is 100 or M is 100, and when does / doesn’t I come before E?? If the sign isn’t updated correctly each day then one random ugly doll takes the soul of a random coworker, comes alive, and gets added to the secret Santa exchange in December.

IV; The tractor to cut the grass is pretty big so you have to get checked out by an experienced staff, and when you finally take it out on the front lawn for a cut for the first time by yourself, they take your picture next to the tractor, print it, and post it on the break room wall and everyone writes snarky comments about how good I think I did on the tractor for the first time alone.

5 - At precisely 7am there’s coffee and donuts in the brake room and...wait did you hear that? What kind of moon is it tonight? Shit I think I hear a doll talking and damnit, there’s the slender fertilizer men again please save yourself

VI, ItS bEEn 7 DaYZ sIncE I LaST saw doG and AM NoW spOOky SkellINgtOn, i’LL B wAiTiNg 4 You in QuaLITY ASSurAnce RooM

Edit: hey can you bring me a milkshake when you come down here thanks!

TL/DR: turned into skellington

Good going now you’re dead 💀

First time taking care of a lawn and the trees are really pissing me off, they're dropping a bunch of leaves all over the place and making a mess. How in the world do you guys keep the trees from doing this? I live in the United States if that helps, thanks!

I wanted to try a DIY fertilizer like https://www.bobvila.com/articles/homemade-fertilizer-for-lawns/ or https://www.jerrybaker.com/information/archivedarticles/allseasontonics or similar.

It seemed simple enough... managed to surprise myself and used a vat of 100% boiling motor oil instead of ammonia.

Trying to find out what the boiling oil (think like a witch's cauldron of 100% oil) will do to lawn. Will it be enough to burn it or just yellow it? I started watering heavily right away.

Anyone ever been to one these underground grub fighting rings in Canada? Pretty intense. The training these grubs must go through seems brutal. I don't even know if it's legal or not but there are a lot of high rollers showing up to these things and big money is on the line.

If zone 5BEE gets a pre season frost but isn’t too frosty and I’m planning on blowing out my sprinklers around January 7th down here in 7CEE manually but haven’t thrown down my last app of milo yet because I’m waiting for the tenacity to finish pre emerging the nutsedge for the 2021 season then should I mow now or wait until I see the last robin fly south for the winter?