/r/Shaneisms
Shane,
Please stop posting your hilarious antics on reddit. - Management
Welcome to /r/shaneisms!
This subreddit is for posting hilarious antics, shenanigans and tomfoolery you would perform while working for a grocery store that cause headaches for management. Thank you for browsing!
Original Post that started it all!
Shaneism Rules
Please post Shaneisms in the form of bulletin board announcements from Management.
Use proper spelling and grammar (like Wal-Mart does).
Be sure to start your "ism" with "Shane," and end it with "- Management".
Properly label [NSFW] posts.
Be nice.
Flair
You may ask the mods for flair. It is their discretion to grant flair and decide what it will be.
Are you a "Shane"? Prove it and you might get some flair! Known imposters get the "big fat phony" flair .
Notable posts will be assigned special link flair (or whatever we feel like).
Relevant
/r/Shaneisms
4,921 Subscribers
3
Shane, this isn't April Fool's Day, please take down the sign that says "50% off sale on headlight fluid". - Management
0 Comments
2024/10/15
07:05 UTC
07:05 UTC
13
Shane, it is not true that "due to inflation, we only sell black and white TVs". Please reconfigure the TVs to the correct color settings and we'll act like it was a late April Fool's joke.
0 Comments
2024/09/27
07:05 UTC
07:05 UTC
4
Shane, you may not activate the emergency alarm to suggest that there is an impostor among us. Furthermore, your request for a scanning device was denied by corporate. - Management
0 Comments
2024/09/11
11:47 UTC
11:47 UTC
8
Shane, please stop renaming the store's WiFi to 'FBI Surveillance Van'. - Management
1 Comment
2024/09/08
16:22 UTC
16:22 UTC
4
Shane, we don't control that part either. Please tell us where you put the Christmas decoration shipments and you won't be punished. - Management
0 Comments
2024/09/08
16:21 UTC
16:21 UTC
6
Shane, could you please stop farting into produce tares, popping them in customers' faces, and telling them to guess what you ate for dinner?
0 Comments
2024/08/31
23:20 UTC
23:20 UTC
8
Shane could you please stop hiding in thr vent and moaning like a ghost? We're losing customers
0 Comments
2024/08/31
16:10 UTC
16:10 UTC
3
Shane, if you do 'Asian Shane' again we're giving him your job. - Management
0 Comments
2024/08/28
18:37 UTC
18:37 UTC
4
Shane, when there is a need for a customer to wait saying 'Smoke 'em if you got 'em' is not appropriate. - Management
0 Comments
2024/08/27
20:20 UTC
20:20 UTC
7
Shane, our self checkout machines do not, despite the name, have a 'Selfie' option. - Management
0 Comments
2024/08/27
20:17 UTC
20:17 UTC
8
Shane, shopping carts are not designed for drifting. - Management
0 Comments
2024/08/27
09:48 UTC
09:48 UTC
5
Shane, just because we had the Christmas In July charity event doesn't mean 'New Years In August' is a thing. - Management
1 Comment
2024/08/26
12:30 UTC
12:30 UTC
2
Shane, we're not the grocery store from the Goosebumps movie, stop telling people 'this is where Jack Black farted'. - Management
0 Comments
2024/08/25
21:21 UTC
21:21 UTC
10
Shane, dropped deli food is tossed no matter what. And it's not '2005 Second Rule' either. - Management
0 Comments
2024/08/15
17:15 UTC
17:15 UTC
5
Shane, there is no such thing as a 'Secret Shopper' for customers. - Management
0 Comments
2024/08/15
16:59 UTC
16:59 UTC
4
Shane, there are no former speakeasy tunnels connecting the basement to the harbor. - Management
0 Comments
2024/08/08
17:20 UTC
17:20 UTC
3
Shane, stop telling customers the Cool Ranch Doritos are made of clipped dog toenails. - Management
0 Comments
2024/08/08
17:19 UTC
17:19 UTC
6
Shane, could you not display fake heads and fake hands in the meat cause? We have received numerous complaints.
1 Comment
2024/08/06
15:48 UTC
15:48 UTC
7
Shane, please stop telling customers you were Dionysus from the Olympics. - Management
0 Comments
2024/08/05
14:58 UTC
14:58 UTC
6
Shane, please stop putting price stickers on the dividers, we're down sixteen. - Management
0 Comments
2024/08/05
03:28 UTC
03:28 UTC
10
Shane, stop broadcasting 'Hey Alexa, dial Mom' over the store's public address system. - Management
0 Comments
2024/08/03
09:49 UTC
09:49 UTC
5
Shane, you can't AIRBnB the break room. - Management
0 Comments
2024/08/03
09:45 UTC
09:45 UTC
6
Shane, stop saying you fell out of a coconut tree -Management
0 Comments
2024/08/02
12:18 UTC
12:18 UTC
7
Shane, please stop telling customers their cars have mountain dew in their radiators.
0 Comments
2024/08/01
20:24 UTC
20:24 UTC
19
Shane, we will not be having a buy 1 get 10 free event for the 10 year anniversary of this subreddit. - Management
1 Comment
2024/06/10
04:42 UTC
04:42 UTC
13
Shane, we are not doing a promotion with Baskin Robbins about the former president's convictions. Besides, Baskin Robbins has 31 flavors, not 34. -Management
0 Comments
2024/06/10
03:29 UTC
03:29 UTC
0
Shane Gillis Down Syndrome Joke
0 Comments
2024/02/02
18:09 UTC
18:09 UTC
11
Shane, you should know this. Please do not point the price guns at children and pretend to scan them. They certainly are not for sale. - Management.
2 Comments
2023/12/16
12:51 UTC
12:51 UTC
13
Shane, please take off the labels on the foil that say "Free hat inside (some assembly required)". -Management
3 Comments
2023/12/06
02:09 UTC
02:09 UTC