We are changing!

Is there a list I can reference for Reddit acronyms? I have no clue what they mean.

got a major beef with the street i live on. I think I'm gonna change it's name....me and this street, we've been going at it for some time now. It keeps bringing cars down the road. From this moment on all cars will be redirected back from whence they came! Will i be redirecting the cars? No not i, I have a bunch of cowards doing my bidding, they won't stop until every last car has been banished from my beautiful street! And to top it off while I'm doing my dirty work with these cars everyone will be too blind to see what I'm really doing. Block domination! It will be glorious, marvelous, the most magnificent thing. You'll see.

Toes who noes💀

I wanted to use a remark, about stupidity but turns out I'm stupid for not remembering the rest.

I think it starts with "From which fountain of knowledge/truth?" something like that, I have a complete brain cloud with it and can't remember nor can I find it anywhere. Maybe I'm just stupid and it doesn't exist?

This is my laptop

A CNN reporter, a BBC reporter, and an Israeli commando are captured by Hamas. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

The CNN Reporter said, "Well, I’m an American, so I’d like one last hamburger with French fries.” The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger & fries. The reporter ate it and said, “Now, I can die.”

The BBC Reporter said, "I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene and what will happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.” The Hamas leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and dictated some comments. The reporter said, "Now I can die knowing I stayed true until the end.”

The Hamas leader turned to the Israeli commando and said, “And now, Mr. Israeli tough guy, what is your final wish?” “Kick me in the butt,” said the soldier. “What?" asked the leader, “Will you mock us in your last hour?” “No, I’m not kidding. I want you to kick me in the butt,” insisted the Israeli.

So the Hamas leader shoved him into the open and kicked him in the behind. The soldier went sprawling but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from under his flak jacket, and shot the Hamas leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he jumped to his knapsack, pulled out his carbine, and sprayed the terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, all terrorists were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the soldier was untying the reporters, they asked him, “Why didn’t you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the butt first?” “What?” replied the Israeli, “and have you report that I was the aggressor?”

Anyway BBC reported the next day - "Terrorists were sympathetic people and granted them their final wishes, unlike the Israeli commando who executed everyone in cold blood. It was definitely not a 'proportional response.’

So basically here recently I have been enjoying instead of being just a sarcastic asshole I’ve been using gentle parenting terms. Ex: yelling voice “I asked you to take the trash out 20 mins ago, why the fuck is it still sitting here” - Wife

“Wow hunny those are some big emotions your feeling right now” - Me

still yelling “you mother fucker” - Wife

“Take a deep breath and use your speaking voice, it’s hard to understand your screaming voice”

Do you guys have any similar terms that you use or have heard used, would like to add to my tool box?

So this guy doesn't even understands some sarcasm and thinks people are less knowledgeable then him. 🤡

Mark Zuckerberg – Dead At 36 – Says Social Media Sites Should Not Fact Check Posts — The Shovel

This is unchecked, and likely not fact based.

Mom taught me when I was young. Having the pleasure and opportunity to know others with our mindset, is and always will be something that makes us smarter.🌺

today i learned that the hardest job in the world isn’t being a surgeon or a firefighter—it’s being the person who has to press “next episode” on netflix because, apparently, 5 seconds is just too long for humanity to wait.

but hey, i did my part for society. i built a simple tool that speeds it up. now your next episode starts instantly, no delay, no unnecessary countdown. it’s perfect for people who find those 5 seconds just unbearable. you know, the ones whose "busy schedules" are filled with binge-watching 8 seasons of anything in a single weekend.

and yet... i still get feedback like, “but where’s the AI?” or “can it remind me to drink water?” no, karen, it cannot. you’re watching tv, not scaling everest.

so there it is. my contribution to human progress: 5 reclaimed seconds per episode. enjoy your newfound productivity. or don’t. i’m not your life coach.

tl;dr: invented a tool to skip netflix’s 5-second delay. still can’t skip people asking for more features.