/r/oyajigag
Horrible Japanese jokes
Welcome to Oyaji Gag, a repository for all the horrible Japanese jokes we used to amuse ourselves (because others certainly aren't laughing!)
The Rules:
Like /r/jokes, the punchline must be in the text, not the title.
Please post explanations to jokes if requested.
If you're reposting an oyaji gag from somewhere else on Reddit, try to credit the original poster.
Posts of YouTube and image gags are allowed as self posts.
If an oyaji gag thread pops up elsewhere on reddit, link them here and help this sub grow!
Related subs:
/r/oyajigag
3,818 Subscribers
What I'm saying to all the smokers in Osaka since the smoking ban took effect
すいません、タバコはすいません
11:47 UTC
What polite form do dogs use?
犬譲語(けんじょうご)
05:35 UTC
How do you insult a duck?
Call it a seagull.
(鴨ー＞鴨め）
09:41 UTC
A: How old are you?
B: Ten sai. ( 天才 )
02:22 UTC
What did two clouds say to each other when they met?
☁️1: お天気ですか?
🌧️2: あめージング！
Edit: I’m just getting started learning 日本語 so if what I wrote doesn’t make sense or isn’t very funny, please feel free to tell me so I can get better!
17:29 UTC
Dad, can we rob the convenience store?
No, it’s against the Lawson.
09:35 UTC
When did people start eating eggs??
A long たまご！
08:17 UTC
What floor is Nankai on?
Yes
01:10 UTC
Tongue twister time: What caused trouble with tasty treats at the table?
弟と父さんと夫が音を立てて食べていた。
17:38 UTC
How do Japanese Chihuahuas say hello?
こんにちはは
16:22 UTC
What do you call a bicycle that's prone to incidents?
A 事変車(じへんしゃ)
02:20 UTC
What did the Japanese architect say to the American bridgeworker?
はし上手ですね。
08:13 UTC
"You should stop eating Mexican food"
"黙れ"
18:52 UTC
A Miko goes to a National Park in California
妖精見て
14:27 UTC
Traditional Japanese joke (long):
One day, an elderly man and his wife decided they wanted to eat dumplings. The man said he would walk to town and buy them from the dumpling shop. His wife reminded him not to walk past the cemetery, but he ignored her and went that instead. Once in town, he bought a box of 10 dumplings and headed back, again passing the cemetery. When he got home, they sat down to enjoy the dumplings, and he carefully lifted the lid from the bamboo box. But low and behold, there were only nine dumplings in the box. Any idea why?
Punchline: One was stuck to the lid.
(if you’re not laughing at this joke, it probably means you’re not Japanese)
But there’s more.
So the elderly man and his wife played rock scissors paper to see who would eat the single dumpling that was stuck to the lid and he won, so he ate it. A few moments later, he fell over and died. Several days later, his wife was holding his funeral with friends and loved ones gathered around. They decided to open the casket to take one last look at the elderly gentleman. They carefully opened the casket, but lo and behold he wasn’t in there. Any idea why?
Yes, that’s right, he was stuck to the lid.
04:54 UTC
My reaction to most Oyaji-gags:
No ginger….
04:45 UTC
What Is Mario's Name In Japanese?
逸見マリオ
12:04 UTC
Best reaction to an oyaji gag I've ever gotten
Two months ago, u/xkanatachix posted a true masterpiece:
When you watch Jaws in Japanese dub
日本語ジョーズですね
At lunch today, I decided to turn this one-liner into a shaggy dog story for my Japanese coworker.
The key point, though, was that I didn't warn him that I was working up to a joke:
「あの有名な７０年代の映画、最初のブロックバスターとも言われる、ジョーズという映画は見たことありますか。」
「ジョーズ2ですか。」
「いいえ、最初の方。」
「はい、見ました。」
「我々日本語を勉強している人達の中では、その映画は一つのゴールですよ。当然、母国語な人みたいに完璧に日本語しゃべられることは不可能です。しかし、あの映画を、字幕なしで、日本語の振り替えバージョンで見る時に、すべて理解すれば、その時は初めて日本語上手と言えます。」
「日本語上手？」
「ジョーズだからです。」
His look of pure, utter disappointment when he got the joke was everything I want in this world.
20:19 UTC
A Horsefly Flies Away
あぶない
04:02 UTC
I tidy up using the kondo method...
next time!
05:32 UTC
What do you call a hardworking curry?
お疲れ!
07:11 UTC
When you watch Jaws in Japanese dub
日本語ジョーズですね
10:29 UTC
Haven’t had sushi in a while
ひさし鰤だった
04:50 UTC
He just wouldn’t stop talking about how he used to raise flies in May
五月蝿飼った
09:48 UTC
I’m going to strangle you forever
長久
09:30 UTC
What drug is okay to give to kids?
カニビス🦀
06:48 UTC
Which pig might you be visited by on the night before Christmas?
クリスマスイブ イノシシ
04:37 UTC
How do you say hello to Momo Taro?
こんピーチは
00:47 UTC
I once had a really large egg length-wise.
I can't remember clearly though, it was a long たまご.
14:21 UTC
A vampire's kiss
吸血鬼はどんなキスをしますか？
ホチキス
03:15 UTC