弟と父さんと夫が音を立てて食べていた。

こんにちはは

A 事変車(じへんしゃ)

はし上手ですね。

"黙れ"

妖精見て

One day, an elderly man and his wife decided they wanted to eat dumplings. The man said he would walk to town and buy them from the dumpling shop. His wife reminded him not to walk past the cemetery, but he ignored her and went that instead. Once in town, he bought a box of 10 dumplings and headed back, again passing the cemetery. When he got home, they sat down to enjoy the dumplings, and he carefully lifted the lid from the bamboo box. But low and behold, there were only nine dumplings in the box. Any idea why?

Punchline: One was stuck to the lid.

(if you’re not laughing at this joke, it probably means you’re not Japanese)

But there’s more.

So the elderly man and his wife played rock scissors paper to see who would eat the single dumpling that was stuck to the lid and he won, so he ate it. A few moments later, he fell over and died. Several days later, his wife was holding his funeral with friends and loved ones gathered around. They decided to open the casket to take one last look at the elderly gentleman. They carefully opened the casket, but lo and behold he wasn’t in there. Any idea why?

Yes, that’s right, he was stuck to the lid.

No ginger….

逸見マリオ

Two months ago, u/xkanatachix posted a true masterpiece: 

When you watch Jaws in Japanese dub

日本語ジョーズですね

At lunch today, I decided to turn this one-liner into a shaggy dog story for my Japanese coworker.

The key point, though, was that I didn't warn him that I was working up to a joke:

「あの有名な７０年代の映画、最初のブロックバスターとも言われる、ジョーズという映画は見たことありますか。」

「ジョーズ2ですか。」

「いいえ、最初の方。」

「はい、見ました。」

「我々日本語を勉強している人達の中では、その映画は一つのゴールですよ。当然、母国語な人みたいに完璧に日本語しゃべられることは不可能です。しかし、あの映画を、字幕なしで、日本語の振り替えバージョンで見る時に、すべて理解すれば、その時は初めて日本語上手と言えます。」

「日本語上手？」

「ジョーズだからです。」

His look of pure, utter disappointment when he got the joke was everything I want in this world.

あぶない

next time!

お疲れ!

日本語ジョーズですね

ひさし鰤だった

五月蝿飼った

長久

カニビス🦀

クリスマスイブ イノシシ

こんピーチは

I can't remember clearly though, it was a long たまご.

吸血鬼はどんなキスをしますか？

ホチキス

It was a ドタキャン

One player from Japan, who skipped eating all day to get in more training time, just got utterly humiliated in a match where his opponent beat him in a perfect set. Thinking he just needed to eat something to calm down, he started walking away.

The tournament organizer asked him, "Where do you think you're going?"

The player said, "晩ご飯".

The organizer replied, "Now now, don't blame the character choice for your loss."

失う(牛now)

He shouted "なにlieutenantアホ"

あ、そうか？

呪

白根山

I just answered 要らん