My 20 F now ex boyfriend 20 M ( I don’t wanna say real ages) broke up not too long ago after dating for over a year. This has been the worst heartbreak of my life so far because I’ve never truly dealt with a real breakup. He basically hates me and wants nothing do with me. I’m blocked on everything and he was the first guy to ever be truly nice and really love me. It feels like there won’t be anyone else out there for me and I don’t know how to cope with it. I still see him constantly around and during activities we joined together so it’s inescapable. He left me due to not trusting me, starting to resent me, losing feelings, and I’m pretty sure he developed feelings for another girl. We were eachothers first for you know what so I feel incredibly lost and “disgusting” because it feels like I don’t have anything new for whoever I date next. I really just need some advice and maybe words of kindness rn I guess? And yes I’ve talked with friends about all of it but honestly they’re getting kinda with me talking abt it.

I've somehow scraped by as a low-teir producer at my job but never let myself get fired.

I have made a few errors recently since I put notice into my job. I can't will myself to do any work and just want to do nothing all day

Will stimulant medication help me? I am such a low of willpower that I get nothing done

I do see a therapist every week but frankly, work doesn't bother me as much as it should. I basically only take mandatory calls and respond to mandatory emails - I'd be very good at my job if I actually did 40 hours

Thanks!

I left my job in june this year after a personal safety issue (abusive ex-partner being able to find me there) and I naively thought it would be easy to use my time well even on a very very limited budget.

But everything I used to love doing (dancing, creative writing, aerial arts, costume design, reading, going on walks) either feels painfully boring or utterly pointless, or isn't affordable at present.

I always knew the vast majority of these things were never going to be lucrative or even useful, but that never bothered me, I found joy in doing them for their own sake. But it feels like I was just deluding myself back then abd this mindset is reality. All my free time feels hollow and like I just have to get through it. Does anyone have any advice on how to get back motivation when you are rich in time but very poor in money?

(I'm looking hard for another job and am in therapy for the aftermath of that relationship - or rather, did a short virtual CBT course in summer and am due to start face to face therapy next week- but I'm trying to work on my mindset should these things take even longer to get results)

Any tips or advise, however small, will be very much appreciated!

https://preview.redd.it/zltg33d9vn4e1.jpg?width=602&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=89de7c1d833710293c5bd042abd8b4cf4f48e4ca