Someone I know suggested I start meta meditation after I told him I really don’t love myself right now. I am almost always annoyed or angry and I am trying to work on it with basic relaxation techniques. I have never done meditation so if anyone has advice for a beginner I would appreciate it greatly.

I think this practice could help me a lot. I'm determined to turn my life in a more positive direction, but I rarely feel positive feelings, not just while trying to practice Metta but in general.

I have a decent Vipassana practice, I do nearly 1 hour a day, I find it very helpful to think more clearly, understand myself better, let go of anxiety. However, I can identify in Vipassana that I want to feel more love towards the world and towards other people, but I'm still here being motivated mostly by avoiding pain and discomfort.

I'll sit there for many minutes at a time trying different targets and I just feel nothing. Even my cat, I know I love her, I'm affectionate with her and take care of her and would be very upset if something happened, but when I sit down and think about her to feel some kind of positive feeling, I get nothing. If anything I get some negative feelings, which I'm starting to explore.

Is there a longer-term way to approach this, or a way to "debug" the practice in some way?

I am in my 20s and started Metta after a breakup of a tough relationship. From that open wound, many other issues presented themselves, i.e. past mistakes and self hatred. After consulting with a therapist, I found that there was a profound lack of self love. Metta has been my attempt in “fixing” this about myself.

After a few weeks of practice, I finally felt it last night when going to bed. For the first time in my life I actually felt love for myself. A small flame in the darkness. The love I’ve felt for others, but then for me... An urge to care for the being that I am, regardless of his flaws.

I find this absolutely absurd.

I have been working on getting off my medication for bipolar for a few years now. One of my huge trigger for episodes is anger. Anger jacks me up and puts me in hypomania and then I come down and crash with weeks of depression. Has anyone found a certain amount of time, a YouTube meta meditation or any other resources related to meta that have helped their anger issues?

I am doing metta and have always used you may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be loved, may you be free from suffering. What feeling should I be trying to send on may you be healthy and may you be free from suffering? I feel like I can send feelings of happiness and love, but am having a hard time with the other two other than visualizing good things happening to them. Is there a feeling or something I should be cultivating?

I do metta on a near daily basis. For the last 4 months I've been including a family member who was seriously ill. Sadly, they died a few days ago. Is there a way I could continue to include them? The phrases 'May you be well, May you be happy' don't seem appropriate.

I'd appreciate any suggestions. Thank you.

When practicing metta I tend to flip through loving myself, then others, then specific people.Sometimes I mentally verbalize to myself and sometimes I use the mental imagery of Jesus or Buddha near me to inspire loving kindness feelings. Then there’s the simple feeling of it that I try to attend to. Is there a preferred object of focus between all these thoughts, sometimes I feel a bit frenetic moving between these things during meditation.Perhaps different teachers have different opinions on it? Many thanks.

Hi there! I'm really trying to find some metta meditation retreats especially in Australia - any tips??

I would also be willing to travel if necessary!

Instead of saying things like "I love you", or "may you feel peace" etc; I've been imaging people laughing or smiling. Is there a name for this so I can read more about it? It feels a lot less touchy feely and it makes me feel good.

"Monks, there are these four types of individuals to be found existing in the world. Which four?

"There is the case where an individual keeps pervading the first direction[1] — as well as the second direction, the third, & the fourth — with an awareness imbued with good will. Thus he keeps pervading above, below, & all around, everywhere & in every respect the all-encompassing cosmos with an awareness imbued with good will: abundant, expansive, immeasurable, free from hostility, free from ill will. He savors that, longs for that, finds satisfaction through that. Staying there — fixed on that, dwelling there often, not falling away from that — then when he dies he reappears in conjunction with the devas of Brahma's retinue. The devas of Brahma's retinue, monks, have a life-span of an eon.  A run-of-the-mill person having stayed there, having used up all the life-span of those devas, goes to hell, to the animal womb, to the state of the hungry shades. But a disciple of the Blessed One, having stayed there, having used up all the life-span of those devas, is unbound right in that state of being. This, monks, is the difference, this the distinction, this the distinguishing factor, between an educated disciple of the noble ones and an uneducated run-of-the-mill person, when there is a destination, a reappearing.

"Again, there is the case where an individual keeps pervading the first direction — as well as the second direction, the third, & the fourth — with an awareness imbued with compassion. Thus he keeps pervading above, below, & all around, everywhere & in every respect the all-encompassing cosmos with an awareness imbued with compassion: abundant, expansive, immeasurable, free from hostility, free from ill will. He savors that, longs for that, finds satisfaction through that. Staying there — fixed on that, dwelling there often, not falling away from that — then when he dies he reappears in conjunction with the Abhassara devas.[2] The Abhassara devas, monks, have a life-span of two eons.  A run-of-the-mill person having stayed there, having used up all the life-span of those devas, goes to hell, to the animal womb, to the state of the hungry shades. But a disciple of the Blessed One, having stayed there, having used up all the life-span of those devas, is unbound right in that state of being. This, monks, is the difference, this the distinction, this the distinguishing factor, between an educated disciple of the noble ones and an uneducated run-of-the-mill person, when there is a destination, a reappearing.[3]

"Again, there is the case where an individual keeps pervading the first direction — as well as the second direction, the third, & the fourth — with an awareness imbued with appreciation. Thus he keeps pervading above, below, & all around, everywhere & in every respect the all-encompassing cosmos with an awareness imbued with appreciation: abundant, expansive, immeasurable, free from hostility, free from ill will. He savors that, longs for that, finds satisfaction through that. Staying there — fixed on that, dwelling there often, not falling away from that — then when he dies he reappears in conjunction with the Subhakinha[4] devas. The Subhakinha devas, monks, have a life-span of four eons.  A run-of-the-mill person having stayed there, having used up all the life-span of those devas, goes to hell, to the animal womb, to the state of the hungry shades. But a disciple of the Blessed One, having stayed there, having used up all the life-span of those devas, is unbound right in that state of being. This, monks, is the difference, this the distinction, this the distinguishing factor, between an educated disciple of the noble ones and an uneducated run-of-the-mill person, when there is a destination, a reappearing.

"Again, there is the case where an individual keeps pervading the first direction — as well as the second direction, the third, & the fourth — with an awareness imbued with equanimity. Thus he keeps pervading above, below, & all around, everywhere & in every respect the all-encompassing cosmos with an awareness imbued with equanimity: abundant, expansive, immeasurable, free from hostility, free from ill will. He savors that, longs for that, finds satisfaction through that. Staying there — fixed on that, dwelling there often, not falling away from that — then when he dies he reappears in conjunction with the Vehapphala[5] devas. The Vehapphala devas, monks, have a life-span of 500 eons.  A run-of-the-mill person having stayed there, having used up all the life-span of those devas, goes to hell, to the animal womb, to the state of the hungry shades. But a disciple of the Blessed One, having stayed there, having used up all the life-span of those devas, is unbound right in that state of being. This, monks, is the difference, this the distinction, this the distinguishing factor, between an educated disciple of the noble ones and an uneducated run-of-the-mill person, when there is a destination, a reappearing.

"These are four types of individuals to be found existing in the world."

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an04/an04.125.than.html

In the book Loving-Kindness in Plain English, the author, Bhante G., tells an anecdote in which he's walking along a road carrying his "metta stick", which ultimately helps him to calm down a hostile dog (nonviolently).

I have not been able to find out anything about this object, other than that some spiritual teachers offer classes involving it. It sounds like a walking staff or some such object, but obviously it has some extra, important spiritual attributes or connotations. Perhaps it's a physical reminder of one's faith, like a necklace with a cross or Star of David on it worn by Christians or Jews? Or is it something else? Can someone please explain? Thanks.

P.S., Also I now have that song by Ian Dury stuck in my head :)

Since I’ve gone forth
from the lay life to homelessness,
I’m not aware of any intention
that is ignoble and hateful.

“May these beings be killed!
May they be slaughtered! May they suffer!”—
I’m not aware of having any such intentions
in all this long while.

I have been aware of loving-kindness,
measureless and well-developed;
gradually consolidated
as it was taught by the Buddha.

I’m friend and comrade to all,
compassionate for all beings!
I develop a mind of love,
always delighting in harmlessness.

Unfaltering, unshakable,
I gladden the mind.
I develop the divine meditation,
which sinners do not cultivate.

Having entered a meditation state without thought,
a disciple of the Buddha
is at that moment blessed
with noble silence.

As a rocky mountain
is unwavering and well grounded,
so when delusion ends,
a monk, like a mountain, doesn’t tremble.

To the man who has not a blemish
who is always seeking purity,
even a hair-tip of evil
seems as big as a cloud.

As a frontier city
is guarded inside and out,
so you should ward yourselves—
don’t let the moment pass you by.

I don’t long for death;
I don’t long for life;
I await my time,
like a worker waiting for their wages.

I don’t long for death;
I don’t long for life; I await my time,
aware and mindful.

I’ve served the teacher
and fulfilled the Buddha’s instructions.
The heavy burden is laid down,
the attachment to rebirth is eradicated.

I’ve attained the goal
for the sake of which I went forth
from the lay life to homelessness—
the ending of all fetters.

Persist with diligence:
this is my instruction.
Come, I’ll realize quenching—
I’m liberated in every way.

https://suttacentral.net/thag14.1/en/sujato

Hi, can anyone recommend a good guided Metta meditation? I have a hard time staying focused practicing on my own. Thanks.

https://1a4.0a3.myftpupload.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/A-Flower-Called-Metta-in-English.pdf

" When the tree of mettā has become established in your heart and there are tender love and care in every move you make, and every breath you take, one day this heartfelt commitment will bring utmost joy to you when the mettā blossoming in your heart bursts into full bloom. "

Hello,

When I was trying to make my improvised mantra or phrasing within the metta practise, I found a sentence I liked but is unsure of; "May I/you be unconditional love".

It is the "be" word I am unsure of being good. Do you think this phrasing of being love is wrong or bad?

Would it be useful to start a leaderless videoconference sangha just for people practicing metta or TWIM? The purpose would be to encourage each other and to share issues in meditation. There are several Buddhist teleconferences, but most of them are primarily vipassana and commentary oriented.

If you are interested, please let me know.

--Etan

I'm trying to find examples of famous people that teenagers might recognize talking about Loving-kindness meditation, but haven't had much luck so far. Has anyone seen any videos or podcasts of a celebrity discussing practicing Metta? Thank you!!