not intersex just really need some help or something from people who are more knowledgeable on this subject than me. so recently someone i know (well call him S) slept with a person (i’ll refer to as B through this story) who in their first interactions claimed to be trans mtf. after a month of seeing B , S wanted to end things without hurting B so they fell back slowly & changed the vibe sort of. S caught on and is now claiming to intersex & is also pregnant. S told B that the reason they said they were trans and not intersex was because “it was just easier then saying i was intersex” ??? i asked B what they looked like down there and he said S looked just like he did down there (he is a cisgender male) i’m not too sure about what the anatomy is of intersex people but from what google says im not sure it makes sense for them to be intersex, they also have an adam’s apple. when B asked S how it could be possible for them to be pregnant from anal sex(is is possible?? this situation has me questioning everything ) S said that she did also have a vagina it was just sewed up & he didn’t notice it??? my last concern on why this pregnancy can’t be real is S has stage 3 leukemia and a tumor. they are in / have been in chemotherapy & taking some sort of injections in their abdomen to shrink said tumor. even if she was intersex and pregnant would the cancer & chemo not take effect in fertility??? so idk yea that’s the situation pls help

This is a vent about a transphoic and intersex phobic hospital iv been two twice ,

First off I would like to say iv been here twice with essentially the same problem, I have been having “periods (I found out threw my endocrinologist who I see for my intersex and trans health care) before I knew I was essentially bleeding out of my “male genitalia “ and having very extreme pain, I am also completely cis female looking and pass 100% , When I saw the triage nurse they ask me about what was going on I explain how I am bleeding a lot from my privet area and how I’m getting extreme cramping, first thought they said was “oh think that is just your period but we can run some testing to make sure it’s nothing else” I told them “I was born with male genitalia and I am intersex “ straight away their attitude changed and got quiet aggressive and rude , they said “oh well you should be fine we doubt it’s anything ,” while say ignoring anything I said that was intersex related “ he would also go on to say how this hospital does not know what intersex is”” I waited 4 and a half hours in triage even tho there was nobody in the hospital as it was a privet hospital they kept coming saying oh sorry we’re super busy … finally I was seen by a nurse who was taking my blood, she was super friendly, she said me what medicine I take and I told her I take progesterone and I have an estrogen implants … “she said why do you take hormones medication is it for contraception “ I told her again I was intersex and like the other nurse she ignored me and completely changed her attitude she also become super rough with the needle to the point I have a massive black bruise on my arm from it,,,, After waiting another 2 and a half hour just laying in a bed with no talking, finally a “specialist come to see me” she ask me again (clearly nobody was explaining my situation to anyone) she ask what medicine I take and why I was in here , I told her I take progesterone , again she said “oh is that for contraception “ at this point I was 1 am and I was super tired so I just said no.. she then said me what was going on I told her I was bleeding from my genitalia, she said “oh you been your having your period that completely normal don’t worry” I then explained to her “no I am intersex and was born with a forum of AIS and have undeveloped male genitalia “ she legit turns around said “I’m sorry what the hell is intersex I have never heard of it “ I explain the best I could while also being super tired and in a lot of pain from cramping , that I was born male but I have an androgen insensitivity sydrome causing my body to develop female in puberty, she told me “oh you seem fine you don’t look or acting sick or in pain I think it’s best you should go home your blood work is all normal so you can go” keep in mind I was at the same hospital 1 month ago and they again just did blood test and sent me home, Anyways this doctor starts to get my discharge ready , another 2 hours it’s was now 3 am , the nurse come in and said “oh have you seen the doctor yet did she check you out” I was so angry I said “yes 2 hours ago she did my discharge paper and never came back, the nurse said “oh we just have to ask you some question , she ask if I have any medical problem that have effected my health, I tell them “I am in the process of recovering from anorexia “ she turns around said “how much you weight “ i told her (it was a low number am trying to get better) and she said “don’t lie to me you don’t look like that you look big” keep in mind every single person iv talk to my medical professional who specialise in ED have all told me i need to gain weight as im too thin, this nurse goes around even tho she know i have AN and she know people with AN should talk about appearance and weight goes and said that luckily i was just too exhausted to care at the time, and just ignored… finally when we left and I know this sounds like such a Karen thing to do but when it come to thing like this including standing up for what rights i just can’t walk away, i asked for the head nurse on today, and just told them how rude and disrespectful they all were and how they were fine when they thought I was a cis girl but as soon as i told them i was intersex they hurt me with the needle they treated badly and worse of all they didn’t even care to find out what was wrong with me no X-ray no ultrasound, no MRI nothing just a simple blood test, so luckily I had my endocrinologist who is legit the best intersex and trans activist doctor I have ever met in my life finally I did an mri and I do have a uterus… so just wanted to point out how rude this hospital was

Found out I had “birth defect” age 12, major health problems ever since, no one ever connected the dots until 2 yrs ago, been fighting with insurance ever since, doctor finally referring to endocrinologist, advice for appointment please…

I’ve been having a hard time lately, and I can’t remember how I stumbled into this Reddit but I’m glad. I was assigned female at birth, but since childhood I had to get testing done. Testing that I’ve only recently learned about now at age 24. It was really hard for me growing up.

My family raised me as a female and it was hard because it never clicked and never felt right. I even expressed this throughout my life. But, since it constantly fell on deaf ears and went onto a reassuring note as they thought I was just an insecure teenager, I stopped. I never had a full thick beard, but had to shave or else it was noticeable. As soon as menstrual cycles began, they were always irregular (lasting at least a month). I had male pattern weight gain. The way women/girls reported menstrual pain, I never experienced similarly.

One day I had a doctor’s appointment with a gynecologist in late 2021, and he was about to refer me to a specialist upon finding something very strange structurally in the vaginal canal. He also told me that it’s very shallow. In ultrasounds he also found that one of my ovaries was hiding and adhered to the uterus. I also had zero plausible signs of PCOS. And he was an open minded doctor that was well versed in PCOS and still I didn’t fit the bill for that. But he has since retired and the opportunity of following up on that is lost. After that, everything started becoming more obvious and less deniable.

In early 2022, one day I woke up and everything just felt off down there. I used the bathroom and went to wipe and it wasn’t the same. I was scared. I stood up and looked in the mirror and everything was bigger and farther away from my body, and it didn’t look or feel the same as it has. And since then it’s never changed.

In early 2023, I started bleeding. But this time when I did, it didn’t stop up until the time I got a total hysterectomy and oopherectomy in mid 2024, but I’ll talk about the oddities of that surgery later. The doctors brushed me off and put me on birth control pills and progesterone pills. My body was completely irresponsive to the progesterone and I had severe allergic reactions to every birth control they gave me. No surprise there, I’m also ironically allergic to foods that have high amounts of estrogen such as soy. This led to them giving me an IUD. My body did not respond to this at all either, not even a little bit. I saw a hematologist and the hematologist said that whatever was going on had nothing to do with my blood and was an organ issue. Though, through my bloodwork at the hematologist and the gynecologist, I saw something that these doctors casually skipped over. Hormone range issues and a clear sign of infertility.

The doctors had told me that my hormone levels were healthy and okay, but they were in fact not. My estrogen was in the male range (on the low end), and my testosterone was in no range technically. My testosterone was higher than my estrogen, but still beneath even normal female ranges. By this time, I had been bleeding nonstop for half a year. And knowing my body rejected estrogen and progesterone I said hey, lemme try testosterone. I always already knew I was male mentally but I didn’t entertain it. I did this for my health.

As soon as I started taking testosterone, my body reacted so well. I became healthier physically and mentally, and the issues I was having with the bleeding were lessened although they weren’t ceased completely.

Fast forward to when I was getting the surgery. I’ve done research and seen that a laparoscopic total hysterectomy + oopherectomy takes anywhere from 2-4 hours. Right before I was about to go in the doctor informed me that I’d be under for about 2 hours. Needless to say I was shocked when they woke me and told me the surgery only took 23 minutes. Not even 30 minutes. An oopherectomy alone is supposed to take 30 minutes and they performed a total hysterectomy and an oopherectomy in under 30 minutes? By rounding I can’t even round up to 30 minutes I’d have to round down to 20 minutes. And till this day I have no answers about that. I have a theory that my body had deteriorated the tissue after rejecting it for over a year and so by the time surgery came around there was really nothing left to do. And I believe 100% that I have no answers from them because of what I’ve read in this server. Doctors overlook, they generalize when it comes to this stuff, and much more.

I just needed to get that off my chest because being intersex is a struggle. And it’s especially hard when you don’t know which variations you have exactly, you just know you have them. And it’s really hard when it seems like your intersex variations are too all over the place, layered, and specific through detailed explanation for anyone to understand.

If anyone reads this through, thank you. Also, if anyone’s ever sought therapy for this and has found success, please let me know. I’d be interested in going that route. I’ve been real torn up about this lately.

Just like @GwendaSelvana posted a drawing, I’m gonna share my Intersex Pride picture of Oci T. Urkey, an ocilated Turkey, they are an out of the ordinary Fashion maker in my children’s book ‘Rainbow Land’, I’m currently writing. Hope to publish it some day

Hope y’all like it

I am having all the secondary symptoms associated with XXY like wide hips, gyno, mininal beard and body hairs, long hands with low myscle mass.

To confirm the analysis I took a semen analysis as 99% men with Klinfelter have azoospermia (low sperm count).

My sperm count came back as normal except morphology as most of my sperms had head defects.

Anyone with Klinfelter with similar sperm report?

Dear new members of r/intersex,

Welcome to this sub! We hope you had a wonderful time so far. If you want to, please feel free to introduce yourself (but please restrain from sharing any sensitive personal information and try to stay true to our rules).

~ your mod team

I recently saw a post asking about lighthearted jokes that people have in the queer community, like aces liking garlic bread and stuff like that, and it got me thinking that I don’t know if there’s any common jokes or fun symbols we have in the intersex community? Even if there’s no community jokes, feel free to share any jokes or symbols you personally have and associate with being intersex! I’d love to see more positive intersex discussion

I have diagnosises such as severe clitoromegaly and absent periods and hormone tests showing off levels, but no diagnosis of any variation. I have almost a dozen atypical concerns in addition to one bad medical problem due to a deformity down there. Any doctor i've spoken to before says to go see a different one, and if i did, they said the same.

How do I explain that I suspect I have an intersex condition and start the conversation about that? I'm a teenager and my parents are very secretive and sensitive when I ask but after years I am finally allowed to see a doctor about it again. My mom says at most i might have super mild PCOS and that there's no way i'm intersex and it's dumb to think so, but all the other doctors instantly said it requires a specialist and pushed it off. What concerns to i say I have and any tips on being taken seriously? Is it worth bringing up?

I am wondering if any other kids of a parent who had PCOS identify as Intersex? I've been lurking for a while and feel pretty shy about asking.

Thanks in advance to anyone who has any thoughts!

For those who like context behind a question, I'm afab, 45, and when I was in my thirties I discovered I had some internal structural anomalies (a partially developed male gonad and some other bits, I only know that's what was found because the ultrasound technition told me). I was told it was "Nothing to worry about" and "Due to your mother's hormones," by my doctor who then brushed it under the rug. Since then I've realised that my ring fingers are longer than my index, my hip to shoulder ratio is in the male range, and my jaw and brow bone are much more masculine too. I look masculine in profile. Puberty was a bit late for me also. I'm nonbinary so these things never bothered me, I just like myself that way. In the years since, I have been diagnosed with EDS and autism, and after learning more about my family medical history I strongly (like really really strongly) suspect my mother had PCOS. I do not have it. I'd be grateful for any thoughts.

This is the Weekly Discussion Thread for /r/intersex.

Feel free to use this thread to discuss whatever you've been up to. It does not have to be intersex specific, but please mind the rules and stay SFW.

Have a nice week!

~ your mod team <3

Good morning, I am insensitive to estrogen. Actually, I am a transgender woman who started feminizing hormones in December 2019. I find that feminizing hormones are not working for me. I haven't seen any results (I'm talking about feminizing hormones). So I'm looking for articles on estrogen insensitivity in French.

hi everyone - suspected intersex here.

i feel somewhat silly for attempting to seek a diagnosis. i don't have any significant, immediately noticeable intersex symptoms. however, i do have a few genetic abnormalities that keep pointing me towards chromosome disorders, including many intersex conditions.

even though i do show some of the symptoms, i still feel like i'm worried over nothing. i feel like doctors won't take me seriously; i've had a history of not being listened to by doctors, and i'm worried it will happen again. will they dismiss me as someone who read too much online and got paranoid? probably, at first. i'm still upset about the idea, though.

i think part of me is also feeling bad that i even feel the need to do this. i don't know... i've just got a few quirks of my body, "glitches", that i want closure for... but it feels so trivial next to things others experience.

i feel silly for even asking, too, but does anyone have some encouraging words or advice for an appointment with my GP to investigate this? what worked for you and what didn't? i would appreciate kind words, even if you don't know how to help. i think i'm just overcome with nerves.

(I'm in high school for context)

For me, throughout my entire life, my parents have forced me to live as female through physically, psychologically, and even sexually abusive means. But my whole life I have identified as male, and they are aware I am intersex. It may have started off as denial, and later they couldn't bring themselves to stop what they started. It is humiliating to pretend to be female when I don't even pass as that. I pass as male and yet they still insist I was just born as a girl with a different type of female body—although all my doctors say otherwise. And even if I was born endosex it would still be valid for me to have my own identity regardless. Being raised like this gave me several mental health issues and I struggle to be social. Anyone else relate?

I have CAIS. I have never met a medical professional that knew about my condition, other than in a specialist centre. The amount of times I have been asked by a doctor if I get regular periods. While this is fine question to ask, I am usually met with concern and confusion when I tell them that I don’t have periods, yet again regular periods. THEN I have to explain to a doctor that my condition which they know nothing about is not related to my illness/concern. Not that they would be able to assist me if it was.

I am not annoyed at doctors for not knowing, I think that’s a bigger issue with education and medical fields. But how do you handle these interactions? How do I make this process easier?

Hello everyone. I'm asking for guidance. My 6 year old was born with two, separate but related physical conditions and one genetic variant indicating an intersex condition. His urologist just confirmed that yes, this is considered an intersex condition. Although chromosomes are XY and he identifies as male right now, he regularly (once a month or so) asks what he would have to do to be a girl. I told him that if or when he feels like a girl he just becomes a girl, that I will help him if he wants me to and we leave it at that. Is there anything else I should be doing to support him right now? How do I discuss his body and genetics with him? He has a birth defect affecting his pulmonary system, has had some other serious medical illnesses and already cries because he feels different than his peers. How can I wrap this little person in love and support moving forward? TIA ❤

I've recently come to realize after years of going back and forth and trying to figure out why my body was so different that I specifically may have CAH (most likely incomplete as I was not to my knowledge diagnosed at birth). I'm in a weird position because I identified as a trans guy for a decade but now at 21 I'm realizing I transitioned the wrong way and my dysphoria is actually because of how I was basically raised as a boy and never allowed to be "a real girl" and I'm starting to transition the other way. I'm hoping that if I can get CAH diagnosed I can get estrogen more easily. It's difficult to find out where I'm supposed to go for this. I've never gone to a gynecologist before and I'm uncertain if an endocrinologist is better or if perhaps I just need to bite the bullet and get a primary care physician to ask through them.

Any and all help would be greatly appreciated!

https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/01/protecting-children-from-chemical-and-surgical-mutilation/

While this is mostly impacting trans people, I want to point out a critical thing: they defined children as age 19 or under. I know many of you rely on HRT to function and are already nervous about accessing care, so I wanted to warn y’all.

They are also defunding institutions willing to provide this care, and obviously this covers the doctors and medical facilities shared between intersex and trans people.

Stay strong and prepare.

Edit: not 19 and under, under 19. So 18 and under. Still an increase.

Hi all, I'm sorry to intrude on your space as an perisex person and I thank you in advance for your time, expertise, and energy. 

My (26) partner (25 intersex and nonbinary/transmasc) of almost 5 years has always had difficulties with body dysphoria that is exacerbated by being intersex (androgen insensitivity) that would therefore make them unresponsive to testosterone. They LOVE being intersex and the community they have, and also love being trans, but it has been especially hard for them right now to feel like they're never going to feel comfortable in their body and hate that they will never reap the benefits of HRT. With the anti-trans laws in the US (we're based in nyc) that are growing by the day, we both fear for their safety as they are so visibly queer. I am legitimately terrified that there will be a day they do not come home, despite living in a liberal/queer city.  

i guess I have a few questions – firstly, is there (if any) gender-affirming options that I can help my partner work towards that I'm not thinking of? I have suggested voice training and they do not feel super enthused by it/don't think the results would be worth it for them. They got top surgery years ago and I know that was a major relief for them. I know they want facial masculinization surgery and gender-affirming liposuction (move fat from hips/butt to their abdomen to create a more "masculine" figure) at some point, but they're not actively making moves to do those right now. Are there any other options and/or suggestions? If you are trans and intersex, is there anything out there that has helped validate your gender identity (not even necessarily surgical – literally anything) that I'm not thinking of? 

Secondly, is there anything I can do as their partner to be more supportive? It is so easy to want to be solution-driven, but I know it's not productive or enjoyable to hear "maybe you should try this/have you thought of this/what about looking at this?" all the time but it kills me that I can't change their situation. I do try to avoid suggesting things all the time and really try to sit with them in their feelings, validate their frustrations, etc. What would you want to hear from a partner, or what would you like your partner to do for you if you were/are experiencing similar?  

Thank you again. I am grateful and honored to be introduced to the intersex community through them and really appreciate any insight y'all have. <3  

EDIT to add: sorry, should’ve specified they have complete androgen insensitivity!!

Hi, I found out I was intersex about a year ago. I am AFAB and I have a masculinizing disorder (i’m transmasc so it lowk works for me 😎😎)

Anyways. Until now I’ve been putting myself in the box of “i have a boyish girls body.” But then I realized I have a prostate and an adams apple. And now I feel strange. Like my body has no name and no place to call home. And it’s sad and lonely.

So I came here to find a home.

I’ve bitten the bullet and booked an appointment at my Doctors Surgery to ask for a referral to an endocrinologist with experience of trans and intersex patients. I’m freaking out with nerves… Any suggestions as to what to say when I go?

Hi! My name is Marco Moreno, and I am a graduate student studying medical illustration in UIC’s Biomedical Visualization program. I’m studying the value of surveying populations— in particular, people who are intersex— for any stylistic opinions before creating visuals depicting anatomy. This survey will be a bedrock on which myself and future medical illustrators can create respectful images for use in medical schools, doctor’s offices, and freely available online for the general public. I think it’s important to take patients’ opinions into consideration instead of creating medical visuals based on nothing more than conjecture. Participation in this research is voluntary; you don’t have to take part if you don’t want to and may opt out at any time!

If you decide to take part, you will complete a short survey answering various questions on visualization of intersex conditions and DSDs. Participation in the study will take no more than 10 minutes, and a link to the Qualtrics survey is provided below.

https://uic.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_a2xB78x1CiYk5z8

In a couple of months, I will post the illustrations made based on the results of the survey to r/ intersex to get everyone’s opinions. You can see some samples of my previous work here to get an idea of how they’ll turn out. I don’t know exactly what they’ll be yet— that’s for you to decide!

Many thanks in advance!

Participating in this survey presents minimal risk to subjects and participation is completely confidential. Although there are no direct benefits to subjects, the information collected will influence the future of medical illustration in the field of intersex healthcare. Here is my contact information should you wish to learn more: smoren29@uic.edu

STUDY2024-1490

EDIT: there is a question in the beginning that asks if you are located in the U.S., and the survey ends if you select "no." This is because some researchers will enter their subjects in cash prize raffles for their participation, which is illegal in some places outside the US. This is irrelevant to my survey, so I have deleted the question. International friends are welcome to participate in this study!

Hey friends,

I am just curious as to how open others are about their intersex identity. I personally struggle greatly with it, and I can count on my fingers how many people in my life know about my own intersex condition. That being said, I have great respect for others who are loud and proud advocates for themselves and others. What does this look like for you? Has it changed at all over the years?

Thanks in advance for sharing as much or as little as you want, I'm just looking for some insight about how others approach the topic in their lives.

I recently found out that my testosterone levels are much lower than I thought they were and ive started getting more regular periods. Ever since I knew I could I have identified as intersex. Its part of who I am i dont feel comfortable calling myself male female or trans as much as I feel comfortable amd safe calling myself intersex, but now Im seeing that the things that made me feel valid in calling myself that are much less then I thought and im still massively struggling with it.

I HATE this. Its like suddenly having my own self identity ripped away and being thrown back into the days i didnt know I was intersex and spent days away trying to figure out what I was because I knew it wasnt whst id been assigned at birth. I identified as trans for years but even then something was off. I know I count as intersex but this has just fucked me up

I have been using this subreddit since I was 17. I am extremely thankful that I discovered it, as I often find familiar people answering questions and engaging in discussions. I am truly grateful for most of the interactions I have had here—it has genuinely helped me progress in understanding my diagnosis.

However,

I have used various accounts over the years and have definitely posted vulnerable content at times, particularly when I was first diagnosed at 17. These posts often discussed my insecurities and upset regarding my diagnosis, and I would typically include my age. Unfortunately, I have experienced instances of inappropriate messages from individuals who fetishise intersex conditions. Since becoming an adult and including my age in posts, this behaviour has essentially stopped.

While I never interacted with these people and always reported them to Reddit and the moderators, I wanted to make a post for younger individuals who are newly diagnosed or working through trauma. Be careful about who you interact with when posting here, especially in private messages. You do not have to include your age in your posts—in fact, I strongly advise against it.

Furthermore, no matter how lonely you feel or how confused you might be about yourself and your diagnosis, you are worth so much more than interacting with or forming relationships with people who fetishise your body. While some may say things to make you feel more comfortable with your body, identity, or diagnosis, they are using you. This applies to all intersex individuals, but I am particularly addressing young people: avoid and block these individuals. They are fully aware of your age, and while you might feel like the most intelligent and mature teenager or child, you will likely look back and feel naïve and saddened by these interactions.

I wish there were a way to address this issue within the subreddit, but it is far more widespread than many realise.

Edit: I would even avoid discussing anything within private chat, I have had individuals lie in order to get interactions. This including people stating that they have a diagnosis and seeking advice, leading into inappropriate questions. Any questions/conversations regarding your condition should remain within posts if you are a child/underage.

Edit: ALSO if anyone would like to share their experiences, even if they were above the age of 18, I am more than happy to listen. I think discussing it can help people look out for these interactions. I also understand the need to vent about it lol.

For background, I am diagnosed with hyperandrogism and PCOS and was AFAB. Pre-T I had the testosterone levels of a boy going through early puberty and have had secondary sex characteristics almost my entire life. I went through puberty quite early and realized instantly that something was off. My body hair was far thicker and darker for most girls I knew, even when they started going through puberty. My voice was deeper and my frame was a lot larger than girls my age. By the time I was 13 I already had prominent facial and body hair and “bottom growth”. None of this bothered me as I am trans, but when we did the blood work needed before I started HRT the doctors informed us that I had hyperandrogism. This wasn’t a surprise as I was already diagnosed with PCOS just a few months earlier. Since then, for the past 2 years, I’ve considered myself intersex and openly embraced this.

But according to someone who made a comment on one of my recent posts on another app, I’m not because these conditions were brought to my attention later in life and aren’t real intersex conditions because they barely affect my reproductive organs.

I really need insight from some intersex folks here about this because I don’t want to misuse this terminology when talking about myself, even if it feels like it applies to me. Ive talked to other intersex people in the past and they shared the sentiment that yeah, I am valid and it is applicable to me but I want to get some more perspectives.

Community poll ruled positive on Twitter/X ban. Action was taken and all twitter/x content is banned from our sub.

This is the Weekly Discussion Thread for /r/intersex.

Feel free to use this thread to discuss whatever you've been up to. It does not have to be intersex specific, but please mind the rules and stay SFW.

Have a nice week!

~ your mod team <3