/r/infjpenpals

Photograph via snooOG

This subreddit is for the INFJ type, or any other type, to connect with other INFJ's as pen-pal buddies!

Please list your age/sex/location/preferred method of using mail (snail mail or e-mail) in the title as well as a brief description!

  • Example: 21/F/USA/Snail - Let's talk about art and everything in between!

If you are any other type other than INFJ, please specify it in the title. - Example: INTP/23/GER/e-mail - Looking to meet some INFJ's!

No spamming.

Please be respectful.

Posts other than the specifications listed above will be removed.

HAVE FUN!

Other MBTI Penpal subreddits:

r/ENTPpenpals

/r/infjpenpals

5,414 Subscribers

1

15/male/INFJ/USA/online.

I'm looking for someone about my age to talk to. I only usually talk to people older than me, because most people my age seem to be immature, and I have a hard time connecting with them. I just want to have Interesting conversations with someone. I'm an aspiring fantasy author working on writing my first book, and a music lover. I like talking about pretty much anything that is not shallow and dumb.

0 Comments
2024/11/03
23:32 UTC

5

30 F Penpal in Pennsylvania

You know Sleepless in Seattle, how is Penpal in Pennsylvania?

A part of me feels silly for throwing this out into the void but alas, here I am.

I have gotten really used to getting thru hard times by journaling and it usually would take the sting out of pain I was feeling but as of late, I don’t have much ambition to write—for the first time I want to talk.

I want to be heard and I want to listen about someone else’s life. I want someone to help me navigate thru my blind spots and me thru theirs without any alter motive like sabotage or betrayal. I crave to feel connected and understood as I’m sure someone out there must feel the same way in this moment in time.

I’ve never had a female confidant that wasn’t family. I’ve had female friends outside of family but had experiences in my formative years that made it hard for me to trust females. Experiences of betrayal and abandonment made me close up and not even try to get close to another female. I always fell into being close to my partner and them being my best friend and confidant.

I am very picky about who I open up to. I’ve had bad experiences with thinking a male was my friend, but I have learned time after time again men and women can’t be just friends. You can’t talk to a male frequently as a female—someone always develops feelings and I’m not going down that slippery slope. I do not want to invite an emotional affair into my life, I’m engaged.

I do not have children but have 10 nieces and nephews. I am the youngest of 6 children (my parents are still married after 30+ years). I hail from a small town in Pennsylvania that is approximately 3 hours from New York City (for reference). I have 3 dogs, 4 ducks, and a one eyed chicken named Betty. All that to say, I love animals, family, and the outdoors. I have a plethora of interests and change out my hobbies frequently. I have a book case full of books that I’ll get back to when I’m in my reading phase again, water color paints that I’ll splash across my sketch book soon enough, and puzzles to be put together—it’s just that currently I am learning a new trade and most of my attention has been focused on it.

I will go on and on if I don’t stop myself here.

In a nutshell, I prefer a female who is 27+ to befriend. Someone who has experienced life and has a build up of frustrations they are dying to get off their chest.

1 Comment
2024/10/28
20:48 UTC

4

30F | central/midwest USA | email or snail mail

Low key friendship

0 Comments
2024/10/21
22:26 UTC

1

40/m/infj/se USA/email

40 Male INFJ looking for a potential pen pal for emails most likely, hoping to discuss life in all its insanity.

0 Comments
2024/10/17
16:35 UTC

5

24 / M / INFJ / Traveling the world on a boat! Help me stay sane plz

Nothing crazy y’all. Just a note that I just like having a full range of conversations since this isn’t high school anymore haha.

I am currently on a ship and I tried messaging various family/friends but always got a simple good luck and hope all is well quick chats.

There’s so much in mind that I can’t share or dive into with people. I’m hoping to find INFJ’s (M & F) to share my experience and stories. But I am also excited to hear anyone and everyone’s lives and struggles (I know we got plenty).

Last note for people who got this far. I am a sailor on a ship and likely be on for about a month going across Europe! I am down to type paragraphs on Reddit, Discord, messaging apps, or voice for people who are kinda lazy like me?

I am on ship for my job and also to get away from sad memories from land so that’s all I got for now. Also any traveler INFJs here?

5 Comments
2024/10/15
02:52 UTC

7

27F/INFJ/USA.... Searching for penpal either by email or hand-written letters ✉️

Hello,

I'm currently in a stressful work environment. The problem is... I see everyone's POV and understand and empathize with all sides. I am trying so hard to mold myself into a coworker that is as helpful and non-"problematic" as possible. However, my direct demeanor can be off-putting (I understand that) and the F in me can be overstimulated sometimes. I have been advised by a close INTJ friend to keep my head down and keep working and try not to let things get to me too much. I'm working on that.

Admist all this, I am also applying to graduate schools in the US and am on my weight-loss journey. So my life for a few months now has been work, applications, gym/walking and repeat.

What I love doing is: reading, writing, coloring, hiking, bed-rotting, binging shows, hanging out with my dog, traveling (need to do that more but that costs money) and a lot more including daydreaming.

I've been thinking about lot about how repetitive my life has become and although it might only be temporary, I think a penpal would be perfect right now. Someone I can write to, discuss things with and get to know. I don't have time for all my other hobbies atm, but writing someone 20-30 min a day before work sounds lovely and doable. And I do love writing.

What do you think?

Please DM me! 😊✍️

2 Comments
2024/10/14
08:36 UTC

11

38/F navigating difficulties

I'm facing a difficult period of early middle age, and I am seeking an intelligent and sympathetic ear. I believe I'm INFP, last time I checked. I have had a very deep and wonderful relationship with an INFJ in the past. I'm in a fair amount of pain at the moment, and I could do with writing freely and frankly, and receiving a kindly and honest response. If anyone's feeling up to it I would love to converse. Bless you. X

2 Comments
2024/10/13
21:24 UTC

11

27F autistic and isolated nerd. Looking make human connections. Love when people info dump, rant, and talk about their special interests.

DM if your interested. I love reading, videogames, media in general.

0 Comments
2024/10/11
23:07 UTC

3

19M/INFJ/Canada/online Looking for a fellow INFJ to talk to.

I have always longed to talk to someone who I think will understand my point of view and can have the conversation I want really have. Which is a conversation about anything and everything. For example I could for hours what makes a story good lol. But really anything. If your want an infj friend, message me, please include age, location, and gender.

1 Comment
2024/10/11
22:20 UTC

7

26/M/INTJ/Australia

I am a university student who lies somewhere between INFJ and INTJ. I adore dogs, and animals hold a special place in my heart. In my free time, I like to binge-watch documentaries. I am also a bit of a perfectionist. I've got a soft spot for history, philosophy, and geopolitics, but apart from these I am open to talk about almost anything under the sun.

Life can be tough and I am open to lending an empathetic ear to my friends if they need to vent. If you're looking for a genuine connection and deeper conversations, send me a DM :)

0 Comments
2024/09/29
08:48 UTC

2

40 / M / INFJ / Victoria, BC, Canada / Email Preferred

Hello. I’m going to post a bunch about myself below as conversation starters—please message me if you like and if we hit it off we can move things to email for more regular correspondence. Thank you! I probably won’t be responding to anything but PMs, because I’m a very private person and what I’ve shared below is the limit of what I feel comfortable sharing publicly.

Intro begins:

Once I (consensually, at their request) relieved someone of a demon, and it tried to jump me on the way out, but I apparently scared it into simply going? And I got given a beautiful pashmina in thanks, as well as shown in a book exactly what type of demon it was, by my client. One of my most beloved authors, M. Scott Peck, also spent some time as an exorcist, so I’m proud of the company I keep.

I got to spend 9 months travelling all over Australia by myself studying a form of indigenous healing that was consciously opened to settlers by its creator… but my 3-month visa didn’t show up so I accidentally stayed 6 months without a visa and got banned from Australia for 3 years on my exit interview. :( Phew, it’s been 3 years now, so I can go back. :)

I'm deeply touched by poetry, some modernist, some ancient, often romantic, but I most of the time I need to look up the poem and author again or ask my poetry circle leader about them, because the names and eras keep slipping through my fingers. It’s something about details.

I hold an Honours degree in Philosophy and mostly, it comes in handy reminding myself, with intention, that nihilism is a) a limited phenomenon, no matter how popular, and b) a conscious choice, and can be unchosen. Nihilism tries to unalive me.

I love fragrance… except for the ones I hate. But I’m not posh about it; one of my favourite scents for myself is from Axe (granted it’s a rare, unpopular-except-with-its-diehards one).

I love cats, but am sadly allergic to them. I only ever had one cat, a hairless e.g. Living Suede who I truly could bury my face in safely. Though I am 95% unaffected by my present hairless nakey baby. I suffer for her, and it’s okay.

I love music, a selection from a vast array of options, although recently I realised I’d missed out, not just on years of his work, but on an upcoming local Joel Plaskett concert. His fans really love him, and I’m finding myself among them. I also love symphonic metal.

I had to radicalize myself to come to terms with living on disability, and this deep dive into leftist politics continues to make me a much better person. If you’re close to me, you’ll occupy a carefully carved niche in my regular hoped-for daily or weekly allotment of spoons (please see Spoon Theory of Disability for help unpacking that if you need it).

When it’s the weekend, I’m going to Actually Sleep Enough, followed by re-reading a favourite series and having the most delicious Pina Colada protein pudding for lunch.

I like to get a close shave and a soaking bath with luscious bubbles, put on some gorgeous cologne and donate my time answering q’s on social media and live action (Zoom) support groups.

0 Comments
2024/09/18
01:41 UTC

8

22F/INFJ/Poland - in an attempt to leave isolation behind

Hello everyone. I'm looking for a long term friendship to share everything with, let's talk about our daily experiences, struggles, plans, dreams and aspirations, really anything. The last few months have been really hard for me, I've been struggling with depression and people letting me down, which has made me isolate myself even more. But right now, I try to take some hold of my life again and one of the steps is simply socializing some more...

Anyways, some more facts about myself; I'm a big music fan, I listen to many genres from; rock, metal to electronic, new wave, industrial. My favorite artists are Nine Inch Nails, Depeche Mode, Justice, Health and Chelsea Wolfe. I love science, I love nature and long walks.

5 Comments
2024/08/31
10:45 UTC

4

INFJ here

54/ INFJ/ looking for a deep conversion and looking for someone to have as a friend to navigate this deep journey

3 Comments
2024/08/22
13:22 UTC

5

M20 / need a deep connection / i have a cool & weird vibe

Honestly, looking to form a real and deep connection with some new friends. I'm into a range of eclectic and cool things.

I love obscure music, underground art galleries, psychology and basketball.

1 Comment
2024/08/15
18:15 UTC

8

22/Male/ISTJ/UnitedKingdom/Discord

I'm looking for friends to connect with.

I like INFJs because they seem to be neurodivergent and capable of understanding situations with more depth and cohesiveness.

I'm a latin-cultured person who loves in the UK.

In my freetime I like to play videogames (i dont want to share which) I like to cook fajitas or pasta with mince meat. I like to cook fries too.

Cleaning and tidying is satisfying. When i leave my bedroom i tidy 2 things at least.

I like to shower almost every day.

I'm studying engineering cause I want to make projects and have nice money.

My discord is Masol1102

If we talk just be nice and comfortable with yourself yeah.

Random detail... I'm 187 centimetres tall.

1 Comment
2024/08/15
08:40 UTC

19

25 F / INFJ / - An isolated individual looking for honest beautiful conversation / longterm friendship

Hi guy,

I am looking for a long term friendship (letters, email, or online messaging) to share deep conversations with about honestly anything. Ive had a different life than most and I'm pretty isolated  so I'm just looking to talk but without any real pressure. I'm rather a simple yet complex girl. I go through phases where I'm heavy deep in thoughts that I wish I could share with someone but I struggle to find deep connection in this life. I also go through phases where I need to be in solitude with God, so I would like a friendship without judgement.

I love deep philosophical conversations,I love psychology, I love things that make me laugh. I enjoy things like reading, writing, painting, listening to music, drinking tea and watching indie films. Im at child at heart so the little things in life bring me the most joy. I would like to share those joys with someone.

11 Comments
2024/08/11
06:34 UTC

15

Hello, I am looking for deep friendships About a world

I feel very lonely and isolated right now. I am an Arab infj from North Africa. I am neither arrogant nor selfish, but I feel different and alien to the society in which I live, as if I should not be here. I do not feel any patriotism or any affiliation. I do not love the culture of my people, and I hate local customs and traditions. I feel like a foreigner who lost his way while traveling. In my entire life, I have never had a friend with whom I could share my interests and ideas. Yes, I had some friends, but they were not real friends. They were just friends of interest. There was no similarity or connection between me and them. I feel imprisoned and no one can understand me. So the idea is that maybe I will find someone around the world who will have a real friendship between us.

6 Comments
2024/07/29
14:31 UTC

8

INFJ,ENFJ M , 37 he/him with high Se, from Netherlands interest in psychology, nerd stuff, people stuff, science. , i'd love to videocall as I'm feeling quite lonely for the last half year

yeah, I live in a new place on the countryside and didnt meet a lot of people yet that I see often. also, I have some heavy attachment issues at the moment due to some former conflict 1 year ago that I am seeking help for with therapists for atm It sucks because I like it better to be in higher states of thinking and just living life forwardly than in survival mode, but alas. It also sucks because i am also an INFJ so I am totally aware how those attachment issues affect other people and very much evade others now because i do not want to hurt them or traumatize them accidentally. more than necessary.

if people have a higher EQ though, like I guess most INFJs and lurkers do over here, I am fine with getting in touch. I am very caring and welcoming never the less. but yeah, i feel pretty bad about friendships at the moment because of what happened, but working on it.

Id love to video call instead of writing, or both! I can get if that feels a little bit "too soon" for some, although i feel that is mainly a cultural agreement we made. it is normal to video call for business with strangers, it is normal to have talks in the park with strangers. I just love the extra information I get by faces and postures. usualy the calls i have take about an hour or so, and can span any amount of subjects or life event or stories.

so if your in, great! if you doubt, realize there will be always an awkward 5 first minutes wether in the park or online, thats life and it will never go away no matter how hard you train, but the good news is: you can get used to it :). all the talks I had this way were always realling invigorating and fun. so hope to see your DM if you would like to!

1 Comment
2024/07/14
21:31 UTC

13

INFJ 45 NYC artist/writer/isolated/but fun/kind/positive to be around when with like-minded souls. Looking for connections and someone to talk to about a whole bunch of stuff… dm me.

1 Comment
2024/07/10
01:50 UTC

4

INFJ/M/24

Any of my INFJ brothers and sisters I’m open for dm and want to be good friends? I’m down for conversation and anything else 🙂

0 Comments
2024/06/23
09:54 UTC

12

34/F/INFJ/US/chat

Hi 👋🏻 super introvert hoping to have some low stakes chats about whatever really with fellow INFJs or others. Adding low stakes because the thought of putting a subject or topic gives me anxiety 😬

16 Comments
2024/06/21
23:26 UTC

11

46/ F / INFJ / email/ Gold Coast Australia

I have a rich inner life and am mostly content on my own. Since I have been working 100% from home I lack an outer life and would love to connect with other introverts (it’s hard to make friends when you rarely leave your house!). Looking for a fellow Australian homebody of similar age for occasional emails/chats. I enjoy beach walks, art galleries, watching movies, and am a foodie!

7 Comments
2024/06/15
06:44 UTC

3

ENFP 34M Looking for someone to chat with to escape Daemon Se

Hey guys,

How're you all doing?

Hope you're all having an amazing time!

If not, here are some hugs.

ENFP 33M here.

I've been stuck with my Daemon Se friend for too long.

I'm looking for someone to chat with. To get me into something, so I can begin to repractice my mind.

Please feel free to hit me up on chat!

Cheers!

2 Comments
2024/06/11
03:26 UTC

8

69/F/INFJ/US/email or chat

Looking for INFJ friend near my age for deep conversations and friendship

0 Comments
2024/06/08
13:54 UTC

6

25M (INFJ)- Omaha(NE)/USA - Let's talk about life: the meaning of life in the face of death, happiness and suffering, what to do in life and how to live it, enlightenment and non-duality, and the improvement of humanity's existence.

I am seeking someone with whom I can engage in deep conversations, exchanging thoughts on how we live our lives, our perspectives, and what we make of existence as we await our inevitable demise. I am looking for someone whose outlook on life aligns with mine, with whom we can collectively find the best way to live out our allotted time. Together, we will share our plans and goals, discussing our understanding of various matters.

I'd love it if, when you decide to write to me, you could tell me why you're reaching out and share a little about yourself. It'll help us start chatting smoothly.

Some of my reflections and views on life:

  • I've come to realize that happiness for me won't come from having a big house, an expensive car, or even a family. Happiness, for me, lies in improving people's lives. Eventually, I'll die (like everyone else), and if I only live for myself, it would be meaningless—everything will go with me to the grave. But if I create something that improves people's lives, something that remains even after I'm gone, it gives meaning to my own life and brings me hope and happiness. I'm willing to dedicate my life to this, to improving the lives of others.
  • I'm interested in philosophy not just as a hobby, but as a necessity for determining the direction of life and how to approach it, understanding what to do in this life.
  • I often ponder the meaning of life in the face of inevitable death (because what comes after death greatly influences what to do with life).
  • I'm interested in what to do in life and how to spend it. The typical scenario of finding a job with good pay, buying a house, starting a family, retiring, and dying doesn't appeal to me (but I don't have anything against it).

If you feel the same way, I'm excited to hear from you.

2 Comments
2024/06/04
02:20 UTC

5

45 M West Coast US

Just learned I am a INFj and suddenly my life makes sense happy to pen pal and discuss the journey.

1 Comment
2024/05/27
07:54 UTC

7

50/M/Chicago/INFJ

Hello - I’ve been isolating a bit too long, so it’s time to seek out some connections again. I am INFJ, seeking friendships with other similarly minded people. About me, I’ve been doing my own internal healing work for some time, and found the most satisfying relationships are with those that are doing/have done the same. I’m into self improvement, having a good laugh with someone, mindfulness/meditation, CrossFit, reading (mostly inner work stuff), walks, raising kids when they will allow me to, and various other stuff that comes and goes. In general, my lifestyle is pretty clean and I like it.

If this sounds interesting to you, I’d love to chat.

3 Comments
2024/05/14
13:18 UTC

7

INFJ/26/M/India Looking for conversations

Hello 👋, I am back here.

I am a 27 year old guy from India looking conversations with fellow INFJ and understand how other INFJs think 😅. I am fairly open minded and open to discussion on any topic.

3 Comments
2024/04/28
10:21 UTC

13

(29, F, USA) Recently discovered I’m an enfp and would like to see what the infj compatibility is like ☺️

I know it’s all speculative. But my extroverted intuition loves a good camp fire story. As well as a good reason to go on an adventure 🙂‍↕️

I think it’s so easy to list a bunch of hobbies in hopes of grabbing the right peoples’ interest. But if we’re being honest, most hobbies are recycled in the age of the internet.

I’m innately curious and like to get to know people. Friendly and don’t bite! If you’re someone who enjoys the “golden pair” theory and would like to get to know each other, shoot me a message or comment :D

Even if you think type compatibility is complete bs, I’d love to hear from you regardless.

Cheers!

4 Comments
2024/04/19
03:32 UTC

8

INFJ 41 M USA

Hi everyone, I am an INFJ seeking to connect and be friends with INTJs or INFJs for connection on a more deeper level. It will be a plus if we share some or all of these Interests.

Entrepreneurship, reading, investing, researching, golf, skating, motorcycles, car repairs, financial trading (forex/futures/options/crypto), cooking, meditation, traveling, philosophy, science, computer programming, spirituality, swimming, horse riding, polo, photography, music, saxophone, fashion, scuba diving.

I am not seeking a romantic relationship, but cool penpal/friends kinda thing. Please feel free to DM me if you are up for it and lets get to meet each other.

4 Comments
2024/03/31
03:53 UTC

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