It‘s a little past midnight. I went to a friend‘s birthday party and it was decently enjoyable but my anxiously attached girlfriend kept texting and calling me and this has been like this for months I litterally wasn‘t allowed to talk to anyone other than her and not even allowed to leave the house without her full consent we‘re lono distance and she lives really far away. We‘ve never met but wanted to do so this summer. Recently she told me that her new passport wouldn‘t arrive until after her flight which she couldn‘t cancel or modify. We‘ve been through three near-break-ups and everytime she threatened suicide. Today I left the birthday party earlier than I wanted and was sad and I did it so that she could eat with me over videochat because she wanted to but she wouldn‘t stop texting. I told her I‘d stop responding and eventually had to put my phone on airplane mode because she kept calling. She doesn‘t take nos. I drove back home and checked and she was still going. I put it back on airplane mode but felt this inner fight and disabled airplane mode again. I argued with her over text and told her a bunch of things that she was doing and how that was bothersome and told her I wouldn‘t eat with her today. I got a message from her ex-boyfriend and confronted her about it. He said that she was bleeding and trying to commit suicide and she said she hadn‘t talked to him but he stated having seen her in a videochat and I never gave him my phone number so it doesn‘t add up. Last message from me was "leave me alone" to which she replied "oki love you most". We share our locations and she‘s currently in a hospital. I suspect that her dad found her. I believe that she‘s in critical condition but I don‘t know. I hate myself for having feelings for her because everything was so much easier before I had to deal with relationships. I also hate her for being like this. She took this message as me telling her to kill herself. I hate her so much. I wish I could throw a bunch of furniture right at her. She‘s made my life really difficult and unenjoyable. I‘m a wreck and everything sucks. I don‘t have anyone. I don‘t want anyone to know because knowing me I‘ll try to make this relationship work out if she makes it through. I can‘t tell anyone. But that‘s the problem. The past months have been hell. I‘m done. I‘m so fucking done. I would never end my life. And I have no idea how I‘m supposed to fall asleep like this. I have to wake up early too. Fuck this. Fuck everything.

Had to deal with a toxic person today and I’m mental health took a dive

My SO wasn’t very truthful during the first 10 years. So here I’m am middle aged, wanted kids, but was blocked from becoming the thing I wanted to be: a dad.

I know this is common and also not my first break up/ boyfriend but I really need someone to tell me that's going to be ok. Cheers to thinking everything is alright when the other person falls out of love. Fml. I need the fattest, biggest and longes hug for real.

And I feel more alone now than ever.

Its 03:59 I got work tomorrow at 0800 I have to take an hour travel into account and ofcourse the entire waking up process and actually remember to bring food to work. Fuck it for 5 more minutes of sleep I'm just gonna have to starve its okey I'm prolly not gonna make dinner anyway, not that I'll need it I'm prolly just gonna turn on my computer and stare blankly at the screen wondering whether or not launching anything at all is a good idea or not.

I know I should use my time on better things but I'm just to broken to work. I'm stuck in a standstill. I've tumbled down to the bottom of the hill but its equally steep on both sides how the fuck am I gonna get up or even, how the fuck do I get help down here.

Am I even able to 'receive' help?

I feel like everyone I love and care about is slowly drifting away and I have yet to figure out how I can reel them back in or if I could even reel myself to one of them.

I wasn't intending to put in more than the title but I guess I needed to vent somewhere

Sorry for the wall of text

I'm just two days in, and I'm a bit mad how I'm not going to get much free time as I used to have. Need a hug.

The rejection is raw. Need a hug

It's my birthday today and almost all of my friend have forgotten, is it enough to have virtual hugs from strangers ?

But nobody around to hub me, I’ll just get baked AF to numb the loneliness

This isn’t normally the thing I would do, it feels hard for me to feel better from kind words from people who don’t know me, but I figured I might as well because I could use some digital hugs right now.

I’m just kind of force to coast through life right now. I don’t find enjoyment in anything in life, and I just have to wait for weeks to see different doctors who will give me new meds/treatments, and then wait a week and hope they work.

Really not fun.

I look and don't see myself anymore, I don't really understand myself. Too much is going on, I've been surpressing my emotions so I fall apart when nobody's looking, I'm in pain even when things are ok, it just takes a small thing to ruin me for that day or period of time. I don't know how to cope with loss and a sense on emptiness and I'm cringing as I type. Honestly a genuine hug is something I've last felt 8 months ago. I'm a mess of a person And a hug from anyone would be nice.

Whatever he's come down with. I know there's a lot of flu around so I don't know if it's this.

He cannot stop coughing, these are hacking gut puking dry coughs and he's got a very tight chest. He's not had much if any sleep in days. He's gone off his food almost completely. And he loses his balance sometimes. He seems to be getting worse every day and I have a hunch he won't live through it because he's both Asthmatic and (this is a revelation to me that I only just found out) he used to be a smoker.

He just lays there on the couch wasting away and coughing his guts out. I don't know what to do.

I had a very similar infection. I got rid of it after a course of medication, so I'm getting very concerned I passed it to him while I was medicating.

I don't want to lose another parent.

Hi all,

We are looking to add some moderators to our team. Unfortunately, I don't have as much time as I'd want to invest in the subreddit, but I don't want to abandon the place either.

If you are interested in becoming a moderator, please send us a Mod Message writing a little bit about yourself, why you would like to moderate, what your ideas for this subreddit are and so on.

I'm mostly looking for friendly people who would like to contribute to the subreddit and community.

You don't have to be mega experienced and moderate a zillion subreddits to be considered. This isn't a position for people who have wet dreams of being all powerful. I can and will remove you without a heads up.

I went for short term this past November and some of the bills give me anxiety, (though I'm not paying it's still shocking) I'm confused about so many things in life and my daydreaming is clogging my thoughts.

($995 for non emergency ambulance ride plus $135 for being driven 9 miles and a few thousand for my short term stay. this made me scream inside)

I hope so because I have lots of them to give! hugs

I want him to have lots of hugs. If people comment I'll hug him on their behalf :)

I'm feeling really depressed and don't know how to cope.

I had enough of her narcissism and autism hate. I walked out on her while visiting her for the week. Not the first time I've been kicked to the curb, not the last.

Too overwhelmed to say much at the moment . . . but someone that I genuinely liked and tried hard to make a friendship work with finally abandoned me, without so much as an explanation.

I've had too much relationship-inspired pain in my life, and it's gotten so bad that I'm numbing out. Some days I wonder how much longer I'll be able to live this way.

Please hug me.

I've tried pretty much everything. The frustration is that I'm working on a film project and I don't have friends to help out. I'm beyond frustrated. I spend my waking hours alone. I give up. I'm giving up on the film project. I'm giving up on finding new friends because my community is a social desert.

The world can seem a bit grim at times, but we can make things brighter through a lot of ways... Including virtual hugs!

hug

We can talk about anything and everything. Maybe we can hang out if you live here too. I can talk via text (SMS), whatsapp or kik. Let me know which one you have.

I'm currently living with my parents and watching them drift apart. They were madly in love and now they don't even stay in the same room. While this is going on, I feel this dreadful fear that my boyfriend is also distancing himself from me. I feel really tense like ALL the time. :/ I could really go for a nice hug.

and this is why I'm not currently dating and also why I don't like reaching out to people, because shit like this happens. Dear god guys can be creepy (please understand that most guys aren't, just the guys/people I tend to gravitate towards). Dear god there's so much wrong with me and I have no idea how to fix it. The best I can do is read the red flags and then avoid after discovering the red flags.

At least I don't have a strong desire to be social, at least most of the time I enjoy being alone. Ugh.

I had a nasty case of food poisoning a few days ago. Being sick tends to make me sad and kinda depressed. Now I feel helpless and hopeless. I know it will pass, but I'm still scared.

I need a hug, but not too tight, because I don't want to barf again.

I'm not sure where to even start at this point.

Girlfriend and me awhile ago broke up and truth be told over the summer I had been looking for an engagement ring. I had really thought this girl was the one. Coming out of the summer though it all turned out not so much. I was alright for awhile because in the end this was the best for us both. This week though I found out some more from her about why she broke up with me. Turns out that part of the reason was that she actually found me to be too nice....she said she needed someone she could argue with and complain about. Maybe I'm reading into it too much or wrongly but it really backs up this twisted idea that I have of myself being the Toyota Camry of the dating scene. Everyone says girls just want a guy that is dependable, comfy, and nice...just like a camry which also happens to be extremely boring...just like me. I've been told numerous times I'm not boring but when you have such a hard time making friends it eventually gets to you and you start to believe that.

Beyond that stuff lately I've been pretty freaking self concious about my body. I'm slightly overweight I have no shame in admitting that. I'm 6' and 210 lbs and working everyday diet wise and in the gym. Problem is at work there is a pretty fit dude and the girls just fawn over him. Between that and my insecurities I can't help but feel unattractive. I dress fashionable, put effort into my hair and skin, I'm working on my weight yet I just feel like a giant blob!

On top of that right now I have quite a bit of stress from a few difficult classes and some major changes at work. The worst part of all of this is that I don't even have it that bad! I got an internship for the summer and a promotion at work but for some reason I can't be happy about that. All I can focus on is the fact I see myself as boring, ugly, and just average at best. I want to be happy but I just can't break outta this stupid loop of insecurity.

Anyway if you made it this far thanks :) its appreciated

Edit: In case anybody was curious what I looked like

http://imgur.com/7jj1yGT

Not looking for compliments already hit that subreddit haha but just wanted to add that.

Tabby decided to plonk RIGHT in the garden and die. Now I'm bloody well depressed, and possibly in need of a cuddle. Pisssssssss.