/r/historyjokes
Hello all! Welcome to r/historyjokes, a part of the r/JokesHQ community! History jokes are jokes that make light of various subjects that happened 20 or more years ago. Disclaimer: This subreddit does not support or condone genocide, terrorism, etc. It simply makes light of the subject in a playful manner. So don't be offended. r/historyjokes is a History Network member.
Hello all! Welcome to r/historyjokes, a part of the r/JokesHQ community! History jokes are jokes that make light of various subjects that happened 20 or more years ago. Disclaimer: This subreddit does not support or condone genocide, terrorism, etc. It simply makes light of the subject in a playful manner. So don't be offended
Rules
Rule 1: No Spam
Rule 2: No Reposting
Rule 3: Follow Reddiquette Rules
Rule 4: All Content Must Be Jokes
Related Subreddits
/r/historyjokes
525 Subscribers
þings are actually pretty cool!
A Norseman walks into Parliament and goes, "what is this þing?"
18:03 UTC
How to say surprise in different languages:
French: Surprise
Spanish: Sorpresa
Swedish: Överraskning
German: BLITZKRIEG
15:31 UTC
Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?
Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.
20:15 UTC
Why were there no serial killers in the Soviet Union?
They all worked for the KGB.
16:22 UTC
Smh such a bullshit ending
So am I the only one upset about how WWII ended? I mean they built Hitler up to be the big bad and just when he is about to face justice, he goes and kills himself. WTF was the point of him if FDR and Churchill were not going to fight him in an epic duel to save the world? And don't get me started on FDR! They just kill him half way through the war. Truman totally did not deserve to win the war, his character arc was not about war winning. And it certainly wasn't about destroying two cities with bullshit deus ex super weapons that came out of no where.
And another thing that pissed me off is that in the last episode of the war we find out that Stalin was a bad guy the entire time! Where was this foreshadowed to us? WTF, absolute character assassination. He was all about freeing the oppressed and bringing about a new system that wasn't shackling the poor and they made him a dictator? That is bullshit!
Anyways, WWII was cool but its end was absolutely trash and I would like you guys to sign a petition to have it rewritten.
15:27 UTC
The Great Depression is how I felt in my 30's.
10:09 UTC
Hammurabi's Code Hilariously Condemns Woman to Drowning
Hey all I wrote a joke article that takes place in Ancient Mesopotamia. It's about some of Hammurabi's more obscure laws.
I really like writing these, but I don't really have an audience. If you guys like them I'll try to find time to do more haha
http://dailysack.com/2019/10/24/part-2-hammurabis-code-hilariously-condemns-woman-to-drowning/
14:24 UTC
The ancient Romans had rooms and passages called vomitoriums
It was where they kept their misunderstood eytmologies.
13:50 UTC
Whats the difference of this subreddit and r/historymemes ?
13:17 UTC
An Irishman, a Frenchman,a Scotsman, a Englishman are on a hot air ballon.
The captain of a hot air ballon realized he was crashing and everyone on board would die. He said,” Somebody’s going to have to jump!” A Frenchman comes up, and says, Viva la France! And jumps. The captain says we need someone else to jump! A Scotsman comes up, and says, for the glory of Scotland! And jumps. The captain says we need one more to jump. So the Irishman comes up and says, FOR THE GLORY OF IRELAND, and throws off the Englishman!
02:51 UTC
What do you get when you mix a Japanese pilot, and a Bolshevik? A COMMIEKAZIE!
02:44 UTC
american in 1783
person A: hooray we broke away from Britain who. was trying to do what again
person B: tax us
person A: tax us unfairly!
person B: actually they had lost a lot of money protecting us
person A: well, we did it alone?
person B: actually france helped a lot and now they're fucked
person A: well we give freedom, right?
person B: correct, now I'm off to an auction
person A: oh cool what are they selling
person B: slaves
05:46 UTC
Who was on the chopping board
Marie Antoinette
05:05 UTC
Socrates has a wife.
Bet she fucking hated the arguments they had.
23:39 UTC
Mad Stories: Pythagoras and the Cult of Numbers
Just a funny, short historical story :-)
19:43 UTC
What was the one resource the Germans didn’t lack in WW2
Enemies
10:29 UTC
What was Henry VIII’s favorite Jordin Sparks song?
No Heir
What was Richard I’s?
Battlefield
12:22 UTC
What did Henry VIII say to the Pope?
“I’m gonna make like my wife’s head and split!”
12:21 UTC
What was France like before the Revolution?
Brokoco!
Ba dum tsss
22:09 UTC
just something i thought of while in the shower. bad joke
me: yo where are you Heading?
gf: You Said You Would Treat Me Like A Queen
me: ok girl, wash your neck
gf: wtf why
me: because ima Be Heading with you
bad joke i know
17:07 UTC
corniest joke I just thought of
Q: What did the proud father say to his son after he founded modern day Turkey?
A: Ataturk!
I fucking hate myself......
08:38 UTC
Where does Émile Zola like to relax?
His J'Accuse-i.
15:31 UTC
When Al lost his dog Lorraine, why’d he blame Heinrich?
Because Germans are always taking Al’s lost Lorraine.
01:46 UTC
What food would Charles II of Spain be in?
InBRED
02:35 UTC
Vietnam + Donkey Kong = VietKong
Don't blame me, my brother thought of it
11:38 UTC
How do you piss off a Lithuanian?
Tell them that Vilnius (Wilno) is part of Poland
17:53 UTC
What’s the difference between Marcus Lepidus and Mark Antony?
Lepidus is the Master of the Horse and Mark Antony is the Master of the Whores
13:51 UTC
Why did the North Vietnamese army retreat?
There was a “Giap” in the frontline
12:38 UTC
Why don't you look a gift horse in the mouth?
You'd see all the Grecians inside.
22:25 UTC
Listen All! A Message From the King! "We need moderators"...
"We need moderators immediately to aid in the War effort against the filthy r/lightjokes heathens! If you wish to help, please, send a letter to myself, the king, and my many servants will call upon you, examine you, and determine if you are fit enough to join r/historyjokes in battle! Basic requirements are
Volunteer must be of: 30 days of age
Volunteer have acquired: 500 tallies of moral standing
We thank any and all who join us here, and hope we can expand our borders against our rivals.
Good luck, u/xSilus, The King of r/HistoryJokes"
05:05 UTC