Hi Everyone! This is a very short story I wrote for a prompt. Please let me know what you think. All feedback is welcome.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1C718tpWQFaXic618-7-VCmQl17zMxdBIBUfzewxX2WI/edit?usp=sharing

Hi all, This is part one of another chapter. It's NOT the opening chapter. All feedback is welcome. Thanks in advance.

My work: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1s-LhJPlBoztqB8TL27Kg75PQAbjZ8ApyBnuN_NET5oc/edit?usp=sharing

Critique: https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1h1j2cn/1198_nothing_left_to_save_chapter_3/lzsa34k/

Kate and John, rent a cabin to salvage their fractured relationship. Fueled by nostalgia and cocaine, they navigate moments of passion, longing, and the weight of their shared history. As they teeter between reconnection and collapse, their inner worlds reveal the complexities of love, identity, and the fear of irreparable loss.

TW ⚠️ Drugs

Earlier chapter links at bottom in case you want to read from the beginning

My work: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SPwNwvUw1qIdn5gJ7P1iiA19HI6wKzWP-7zYZENhr6c/edit

Crit [2793] https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/s/uPeSyPfAqr

Chapter 1 https://docs.google.com/document/d/19fuPSNqqSB2EMrJHZtCmUvVyM0pG5jZG-GBVukD_-uo/edit

Chapter 2 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1A_8H0d58NYXy1czbPIS9K7dK-WOyntBoUXxkl_qdB3M/edit

Hello everyone,

Here is a sample of my prologue for "The Red Wolf", a historical fiction series based in ancient greece chronicling the Peloponnesian War between Athens and Sparta, following historical figures through this tumultuous, political and violent thirty year war.

Just looking for some feedback on writing style, dialogue, and characters. Appreciate the help!

Story: [1713]

Crits: (1035] & [2452]

Note to mods, apologies for my previous post, I will be more careful next time.

Just messing around, trying out a different narrative voice than usual. Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks!

Link to story

crit: [1108]

Howdy! I'm sharing the first chapter of my pulp-inspired fantasy western for general feedback, I'm excited to hear what people think so far and where I can improve, thanks so much!

Story:

[2439] Ash and Embers

Crits:

[2793] Take Everything

[841] Through the Veil

We had hoped to have the contest closed with results finalized, but something, something laughs at the best laid plans?

So for this weekly, if you want, share about timelines. Not some multiverse shenanigans, but timelines from idea to written story to edited creation. Do you give yourself too much leeway or do you walk away or do you stick to the plan?

As always feel free to post off topic comments or give a shout out to something you want to share.

Hi all, Unlike a lot of my posts, this is actually a standalone story (sort of...) I have all these side stories in my head about my characters. Sometimes I write them down. So, the characters in this story are all characters in the novel I'm currently working on. But this story takes place a few years before the novel.

My work: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nu9gaQ8yEwAT2vp27ww__ncrYo1FogdY4sWujvu_i-o/edit?usp=sharing

TW: swearing, sex, drug references and domestic violence.

All feedback is welcome. I had fun writing this and felt like sharing. Thanks in advance.

Critiques:

https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1gqlbse/2488_body_in_the_water_part_2/lyhpj79/

https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1go3qru/2668_cyberpunk_short_fiction/lyifoyd/

As with most new readers, I’m sure, I feel great about my plot and meh about the writing itself. Harsh feedback is welcome, of course, but I’m mostly interested to see if 1) you care about my main character at all, enough to want to know what happens to her, and 2) if you feel at all immersed in my word, or if I need to really improve on the world building. It’s my least favorite part about writing. A note, I know I will definitely have to change my characters name, Yvaine (yvain) is already taken in Arthurian legend. I haven’t been able to part with it yet, but I will eventually. Done feel great about the last paragraph or so, but I knew I needed to move on to the next passage and just revisit later.

Story:

[2872] Stone of Emrys

Crits:

[1035] Dragon Rider

[2096] Köderberries

[2970] The Dark Library

Alright, I've finished another thousand words, if you need context for anything here I've posted Part 1 and Part 2

Here for your enjoyment (either through the love of reading or the unbridled joy of destruction) is Part 3

Critiques: 1251 1087

P.S. Go see A Real Pain in theaters if you get a chance! Excellent writing and some of the best use of third person limited I've seen in a movie in a long time! Great characters and really grounded scenes.

Heya everyone. I would love to get some feedback on the first chapter of a fantasy story I've been working on for a while.

As you can probably tell from the title, I am not making much of an effort to be original, so expect plenty fantasy tropes. That said, I do very much aim to execute well on those tropes. Not trying to be original is not meant to be an excuse, but rather an acknowledgement that I'm not going to be reinvent the genre any time soon. My aim is to improve my craft. Please tell me if I am succeeding or failing horrendously at doing so!

Any and all feedback is welcome. Enjoy!

Story:

[1035]

Crit:

[All Hallow's Eve ~2000+]

**Note for mods:** The raw word count on my All Hallow's Eve crit is 2,861 words, but I'm counting this very conservatively as ~2,000 since I quoted several lines and paragraphs from the author's original text for the critique.

Hey all! Writing something a little bit different than my usual here and I'm trying to see if I'm on the right track.

This is a sort of really loose reimagining of Little Red Riding Hood set in a dystopian world where for their coming-of-age the girls must survive the winter against the "Wolves" that live in the woods (for context). Very unlike the more contemporary/romance stuff I usually write so I'm a little self conscious and feel out of my depth, despite believing in my idea and loving dystopian stories!

I'm honestly looking for any kind of feedback. What you think this passage is about? Am I laying it on too thick? Not thick enough? The right amount of thick? Thoughts on the characterisation, writing style, dialogue, do you get a sense of their world/structure.

Excerpt *ps this is NOT the starting chapter

[1561] Crit

[1087] Crit

Hello,

This is chapter 2 of a Literary fiction piece I am working on.

To bring you up to speed: Kate and John dropped off the kids and are at an AirBnb by the coast, celebrating 10 years of marriage. A strained marriage.

Told through Kate’s POV she longs for a different time. Back when she felt alive and unburdened by motherhood and monotony. She packed shrooms, E and a new dress to recapture something of their past. John had a surprise for her too, putting the cross from the kitchen window in the drawer in the conclusion of the last chapter and passing his wife a $20 to snort the cocaine he procured.

I will include chapter 1 at the bottom in case you want to reference.

My work: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1A_8H0d58NYXy1czbPIS9K7dK-WOyntBoUXxkl_qdB3M/edit

Crit: [2370] https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/s/NcbOH2VQrQ

Chapter 1 link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/19fuPSNqqSB2EMrJHZtCmUvVyM0pG5jZG-GBVukD_-uo/edit

I started writing this as a sketch for a short film, so it reads as a short script mixed with a stream of consciousness kind of short story. I have a background in Avant Garde film, so I’m alright with a bit of abstraction…

The characters are intentionally vague, somewhat undefined (no names are included), as the point is that the main character is a reflection of ourselves, and can ultimately be anyone.

Would appreciate feedback around the style and the subject matter. Does this resonate? Is the formatting too distracting?

Thick skinned here, so all feedback, good and bad, are welcomed. Thanks in advance!

Link to story [841]

Link to 1st critique [578]

Link to 2nd critique [743]

Hi all, This is a chapter in my current project. This is a ways into the book, so there isn't much character introduction, etc. The only new character here is Aaron. The apartment my main character lives in has also been described before this point.

But, since a lot of characters are mentioned here, just for context. Jeremy is the main character, he is 16. Dave is his martial arts teacher who took him in after his sister Jodi left town and her boyfriend, K, got killed. Mike is Jeremy's estranged father. Paul and Tamera are roommates. Whistler is a drug dealer who was K's rival and is suspected in his death.

This chapter is kind of a breather in between some more violent chapters.

All feedback is welcome. NSFW for drug use. Thanks in advance. My work: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TTQVWp8koKQugCNImJLO47HIY8EQbZJugN-Qgk6KN68/edit?usp=sharing

Critiques:

https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1gsky7l/2363_christmas_cactus_on_the_counter_cross_in_the/lxoehuc/

https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1gsp44x/2315_all_hallows_eve/ly0d5qo/ This one's a two part critique. Part two is a reply right below it.

The Dark Library (Chapters 1-3) [REVISED]

Hey guys I wrote this draft, hope you enjoy it. I appreciate any and all feedback. Most importantly, would you keep reading and flip the page to Chapter 4?

And thank you for all your previous feedback!

Critiques

• https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1gioncc/2983_dominus/lv7nyy0/
• https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1gb1mv8/1931_a_dark_and_endless_sky_prologue/ltr70vh/

Old Versions

• Chapter One (old)
• Chapter Two (old)
• Chapter Three (old)

Hello!

This is the prologue to my first novel. The story is complete, and right now I'm just trying to spiff up the early pages as much as I can for querying.

More than anything, I suppose, I'd like to know whether or not the scene works as a hook.

Lastly, as is in the nature of this sub (from what I've seen), please feel free to absolutely rip this thing apart lmao. I'd like to improve it as much as possible.

Possible NSFW: Some gore (nothing too visceral, I don't think)

Story:

[1251]

Crit:

[1567] (it was removed for leeching, though one of the mods said I could still get credit for it--my bad. I'm new to the sub, so I critiqued the post before it could be leech marked)

Hey everyone!

Feels like it’s been a while since we’ve had a regular weekly! Did you guys enjoy the Halloween contest? It looked like there were quite a few submissions!

This week I’ve found myself thinking about what helps us as creators reset ourselves and get the creative juices flowing. What always helps you spawn new ideas? It might be something like sitting at the park and people watching, or eavesdropping on random conversations at the mall, or even something like meditating. There’s always something that helps center us and clear our minds when we’re stressed or not feeling up to writing, so maybe we can get some new ideas from each other.

In other news - let’s all just check in with each other too. How have you all been feeling? Good? Bad? Neutral? Same as always? Creative? Inspired? Where are you at the moment in your creative journey? Do you have anything new you’ve been working on? Are you taking a break? (That’s sort of where I am at the moment - letting my mind rest and recuperate from all the chaos that’s been going on around me.)

It’s nice to hear from folks here. Really does feel like it’s been a while.

Hi all, This is the last half of a chapter I posted a few days ago. I know it's not perfect. This is an early draft that definitely needs some polishing. All feedback is welcome. Thanks in advance.

My work: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10KrJg_v-3_qxw-3_c3EAzXghCLovZpTlBjv-aU7-e9o/edit?usp=sharing

Critiques:
https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1gn6hah/1011_we_found_his_body_in_the_dishwasher/lxjkibv/

https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1g9i8lg/228_mustard/lxnoe8h/

Hello,

This is chapter 11 of a fantasy story I've been working on.

Edit: I tried to make it disturbing/sad. Did it work?

Thanks for your time,

Story

Warning: a swear word.

Crits:

[2457] Jasiah

[947] Sound of anklets

Context:

Seph is basically meeting a concerned Erika who knows what he’s been going through as she’s been tailing him with her mind reading powers, and he finally realizes how bad his situation is and how little he cares about himself.

Erika: Reclusive noble, tasked with investigating Joseph Farrow by the King. She is a telepath, so she can basically read the minds as the reader does if she’s in range and paying attention.

Seph: was revealed to be a member of the infamous Farrow noble house who was presumed dead. He is now hated and has fallen through the cracks of society.

Marth: Erika’s butler/ friend. Is rather disturbed about the sliced doll he found in Joseph’s tent. They know how he’s been earning his money. They are meeting him because both they and the King are concerned for his safety.

(Reposting to split into two halves). Hi there, this is the opening of a novel I'm writing, which follows two Philosophy students at Oxford University. It's a reworked version of some writing I've posted before ('Return to Wollstall') so previous readers will recognise it (thank you for all your support and insight!) I'm keen to get some general feedback/critique, but especially keen to hear...

1. What are your initial impressions of these two characters?
2. What are your expectations for the rest of the novel?

Read the piece here

The second half of the chapter will be coming soon in a separate post.

Critiques

Critique 1 [1011]

Critique 2 [578]

The following is the opening chapters of a work of Adult Dark Fantasy, any criticism is welcome.

The Rivers of Galatea

Critiques [2112] [916] [947] (I also threw a quick comment in this thread)

Hello everyone,

Ready to delve into some modern folklore from the East of France? 'Tis the season for spooky things! This story draws from folklore, horror, some character development; and it's inspired from real experiences, too. It's not a heavy read, though. Promise.

This is the part 1 ("The Wall") out of 3, rewritten from last year or so. I'll post the second part sometime soon - I need to do a new review, I've waited too long. If you comment on this one or otherwise signal your interest, I'll tag you.

A few questions I'm interested in, in addition to the classic review template we know and love:

- Does the exposition feel fluid and interesting, or am I loosing you?

- Do you get a sense of the setting? Does it add anything to the story?

- How are the relationships between the narrator (Claire), her partner, and the twins? It's not a long intro; but do they feel reasonably realistic and nuanced, or too cliché?

- What do you think will happen next?

Also, I'm not a native English speaker, so feel free to unleash your inner Grammar Nazi in addition to your Destructive Reader.

Here is the Google Doc.

Review tax for a total of 2 715 words: [2085] EOLA + [630] The last magic in the world I realize I'm near the 3 months peremption date - sorry, mods, hope this works out!

Hello, this is a literary fiction short story.

I’m mostly concerned about the pace, or if bits feel too abstract.

Are you satisfied with John’s character or would you like him to be built up more for balance?

Overall feedback, would be great, I want to know your honest thoughts, no need to sugar coat.

Drug content TW ⚠️

https://docs.google.com/document/d/19fuPSNqqSB2EMrJHZtCmUvVyM0pG5jZG-GBVukD_-uo/edit

Crit [2452] https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/s/SU3V5wDWCR

Crit 2 [1949] https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/s/0FbbpjINeN

Hi all, this is my first post on DestructiveReaders. I've been working on this manuscript for a couple years and have five chapters (c. 15K words now). This is my opening chapter. It's a YA fantasy renaissance setting. Hope you enjoy!

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ex57g5D39woQlFue4jWOEcRzvhahumVgg3lgld9vjIw/edit?usp=sharing

My critique for mods: Link

A group of young climbers set out to scale the fabled "Hatred's Rise." A statue carved towering plateau deep in the desert. They would ascend with primative gear, multiple days over sheer rock to find what no other living souls has dared.

[1031 Story]

[1032 Crit]

Hi all, This is a chapter in my current project. Keep in mind it's not the first chapter. The characters have already been introduced. The apartment has already been described. This is well into the novel. But for context, these three guys just worked security at an underground party. (Literally, the party was held underground, but also held in secret.) Dave and Paul are both in their early thirties. Jeremy is only 16 at this point, but he looks and carries himself like someone older because of growing up too fast. They all three live together. Dave and Jeremy have this father/son kind of relationship even though they aren't related. I'm sure I could explain more here, but I don't really have time to outline my entire book, lol. All feedback is welcome.

My work: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ECm5KanxbzZP6kz1l7o1KX5BVSDQZ4CG3Zsv4SXfZaA/edit?usp=sharing

Thanks in advance.

Critiques: https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1gijdnn/1129_reflections_of_flora_fauna/lv9f5t5/

https://old.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1gmit17/743_the_fridge/lx5vdi4/

Here's a story. Warning, it's a little vile and weird. I am anxious to see one's thoughts on prose.

[578] My Work: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15UoI7t2bhBBl9SOLiOUqQ0t3cfeHcwHZAOrag2qVYS4/edit?usp=sharing

[828] Crit:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/1gn638a/828_a_rodents_funeral/

Critique: [87]

Text: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vo_LPKgrFJTPjFxq6c_3t8uEfyOYV-nZQiZGJvkJ_Vk/edit?tab=t.0

Please rip it apart, thank you!

I've continued my story, well beyond my original 1500. I did manage to pull together a different 1500 word story for the contest, but have expanded this story. Looks like it is going to end up in the 10-15k words total once its all said and done.

This is part two

What works for you? What pulls you out of the narrative? This is the end of the first part of the story, still on the first draft overall. I just want to clean up any major errors before I move forward to the next part of the story.

Here are some critiques: 2649 2544

Part 1 is here