RULES

Note for non-hardcore baseball fans golden sombrero is a term used when a batter strikes out 4 times in one game.

I completely gave up OLD about 4 months ago and have exclusively been asking women out in person.

Tonight, I went out to see a local band. Met a nice woman about my age. We chatted at the end for a minute. I asked her out for a coffee date. She declined.

For those keeping score at home, tonight’s swing and miss makes me 0 for 4 out in the wild.

Three of the four were very polite in declining. The other gave a bit of eye roll.

I still think trying to meet someone in the wild is preferable to OLD. I mean sooner or later I gotta connect right?

This man I have been getting to know pulled back recently. Went on a few dates. Became intimate. Texting daily. We were having conversations, asking lots of questions about life and marriage. He wants to marry after his kids are out the house; 5 years from now. I asked about different things and he stated he shut down his emotions so that his kids don’t suspect he is dating. I asked how long he intends to do this for. He was unsure. I asked if he was willing and able to establish an emotional connection, he was unsure. What I thought was him being emotionally available and opening up, actually wasn’t. Which was disappointing on my end, to say the least. He seems to open up, so I do not know if he is stuck in his opinion or scared.

Significant age gap, we are both divorced with kids. Recently he wants to take a step back while he works in his issues. He is 13 years older than me…

Thoughts?

F63. Facebook Dating has the option of seeking romantic partners or platonic friends. I'm seeking both. I thought I made that clear in my profile by saying I was "seeking a man who could become my boo" and a "woman who could become a sisterfriend." But this confused a man I shared a few messages with. He asked what sisterfriend means and clarified that he's looking for a relationship with a woman. I said I'm not a lesbian. I only date men. But I'd like to make new platonic friends. I thought this was an unambiguous reply to his question. But then he asked me if I was a man and blocked me before I could answer.

This is a new one for my adventures in online dating. But, after thinking about it, I've concluded that I wouldn't want to date a man who was so insecure about his own sexuality that the idea if chatting with a trans person freaked him out so much that he couldn't wait to receive my answer to his question before blocking me.

TLDR: what the hell does sex positivity actually mean?

61F. Just started again in Bumble. Bumble has the option to choose 'sex positivity' to describe yourself or what you are looking for.

My question is ' what the hell does that mean, exactly?' I'm all for sex. Love it, look forward to it once I get to know someone. But I don't hook up. I'm all for adventure, but there are limits. Does SP mean they want poly, or kink, or hookups, or S&M, or a dom or a sub, or sex without emotional closeness? Or just are they someone like me who considers sex to be important. I know some people our age feel they are done with sex (definitely not me).

Good morning everyone, I'm (52F) posting a question, probably with the view to potentially modify my expectations for a future relationship.

Whilst speaking with a friend the other day (>50), she mentioned men wanting 'soft' women. Sure this is one opinion but now I'm curious to the point of accepting that my appearance and lifestyle means I will most likely be unsuccessful in finding a male partner.

In some ways I could be cliche, work in a male dominated field, have always trained martial arts (yes occasional black eyes), short hair and a body prone to muscle. Personality wise, I love to laugh, think I have a SOH and care greatly for my friends and colleagues. Unfortunately I was not blessed with an attractive face, nor does it happily settle in a smile default expression lol.

So the question is, how many of our men on this site would be interested in a woman based on the above self assessment? Sure there are many other aspects to a person, chemistry, compatibility etc but as my only way to meet men is OLD (have tried everything else), this is the first impression if you will.

Also, women who see themselves as similar, would you mind sharing any experiences?

I'm very happy generally, not lonely but seriously (after 8 years) may graciously bow out.

Thank you all, and for your wonderful supportive comments. Take care.

Been having an amazing time dating an amazing woman for the past 9 months. We laugh, cook, play and explore each others in all the possible ways.

I married once, She was married twice. We agreed and respect that we are never getting married ever again.

We are both pretty busy and the time we spend together is awesome as we compartmentalize our life. So we see each other once a week only.

More recently, we started to fell more like we are having "extended" booty calls.

She mentioned multiple times that she doesn't want to use me just for the sex. but at the same time, she steps back quite a lot when I mentioned ideas of building a future together.

My question for the group is what works for you, that are in LAT relationship, to not feel that we are only sex (with benefits) , while keeping a safe distance from the thoughts of building a life with the other person ?

Basically, what are your end goal of a LAT relationship ? or does LAT means no end-goals at all?

I (53F) am quite excited, but still managing to keep everything in check. He (64M) is new to the area so that changes the dynamics a bit but it’s also fun to show him around.

He came with me to Friendsgiving, which was different but nice. It was a large gathering (100+ people) and he fit right in and even met my kooky friends. Normally I would reserve that until later in the progression but it worked out nicely.

He, like me, is an introvert and learning to sit in silence is new. He’s curious, masculine, attractive, intelligent, we laugh, and best of all… he’s doing and continues to do “The Work”. He asked me on our first date if I knew about attachment styles. “Why yessir!” And on our second date asked if I thought was emotionally intelligent- uuhhh… I teach emotional regulation skills!

It’s been very nice and refreshing. I told him on the 3rd date that finding a single man in our age range who is emotionally in tuned is a rare find and I appreciated him.

Hi. Didn't want to label this 'dating around braces,' even though that's my specific impediment, because I know many of us have to navigate around various things.

I decided to get braces yesterday. I had them as a kid, but my teeth have shifted since then and it bugs me. So, I took the plunge and got braces again. I'm kind of regretting it. I had no recollection of how difficult eating was. To be clearer, eating is fine, but wow, everything gets caught up in my braces. And I have to do hygiene after each meal, which I also don't recall, but after seeing what gets caught up in my braces, there is no way I can skip hygiene after a meal.

So, how can I have a regular meal date with these things? I can't see how I possibly can. And I love meal dates. I love the opportunity for sharing all types of talk over a long meal. I grew up sharing long meals at supper, especially on the weekends. It's part of who I am. And now I can't see how that can happen until these are off, which will be about a year and a half from now.

Dating hasn't been important to me or a priority at all. But I feel like I just nixed any chance of it for a year and a half and thinking I made a stupid decision getting braces (not my first bad decision). So wondering how everyone navigates around the many impediments we might have at this age and stage. Crappy joints that minimize activities or a cut in funds due to divorce or job status change, etc.... I'm interested in what you've done. Decided to halt dating during the time you were most impacted? Decided to date around the impediments?

PS, before you ask, I did my research and consultations with orthodontists and decided against invisaligns.

"how long do you think you'll need to poop after breakfast?"

All the swiping and bad dates and boring dates and stress is worth it when you finally meet the right guy and can have the all important poop talk the morning after thanksgiving, when you're trying to figure out when to leave the hotel but need to poop first.

when did you know it was serious?

Picture a dimly lit virtual room packed with self-proclaimed sages, their usernames glowing like cheap neon signs. This sub is one of the Reddit Top 1% Poster’s playgrounds, where they trade time, dignity, and reality for karma points that mean nothing outside the echo chamber. These groups overflow with their hollow advice, crafted not to help but to farm upvotes, delivered with the arrogance of someone who is long on opinion but short on life experience.

The Reddit Top 1% Poster is that guy at the end of the bar who pontificates on everything while sipping a flat beer, except he’s cloaked in anonymity and spewing advice he’ll never stand behind. His wisdom? Candy laced with cyanide. His badge? A sad monument to hours spent screaming into the void until the algorithm rewarded him for sheer persistence at wasting his life in the name of Reddit Karma.

Their advice is as useful as asking a goldfish how to climb a mountain. It’s a cocktail of tired clichés, personal projections, and moral superiority, engineered solely to grab Reddit karma. They don’t care if it helps you; they care if it trends. Dump your partner, ghost your date, raise your standards to unreachable heights! It’s all clickbait, designed to light up the Reddit scoreboard, while they hit refresh like it’s a holy mantra. Question them, and you’ll face an army of sockpuppet accounts and petty downvotes, wielded like a toddler swinging a toy hammer.

These people mistake upvotes for genius and Reddit awards for success, all while leading lives devoid of meaningful relationships, real accomplishments, or basic self-awareness. They aren’t mentors; they’re addicts. Addicted to karma, cortisol, and the fleeting high of imagined relevance.

But let’s not forget the ones who blindly consume this nonsense and call it gospel. They’re the kind of people who’ll take life advice from strangers on the internet and wonder why their lives are a train wreck. They aren’t much different from the Top 1% Posters they idolize, both are adrift, seeking easy answers in the worst possible places. The only difference is the Top 1% have found a way to be loud while the rest just echo back their idiocy.

If you want to end up bitter, lonely, and yelling into the abyss for validation that never comes, follow their lead. Otherwise, log off, go outside, and talk to someone who knows what they’re doing.

Unlike the Top 1% Redditor, I’m not here to build an empire of empty karma; I couldn’t care less if this post sinks into the void. I’m simply here to point out an observation: you all seem to believe this intellectual anilingus is insightful, when it’s actually just toxic...

...And for the Top 1% Posters reading this and on the verge of raging: Try therapy. It is the one place where your endless ranting and delusions of grandeur won’t earn you meaningless points, but instead a hard dose of reality from someone paid to tolerate your nonsense.

I've finally (hopefully) found a person I believe I can be with. It has been a whirlwind. We've known each other for about 8 months but only started dating 3 weeks ago. It's that puppy love situation. She says she's all in.
She wants to share everything but her home. Feelings, relationships, finances, etc....all good but keeps her home a secret because it's messy.
I'm unsure what to think about this.

I don't believe she's not in it with someone else. I believe it's just us.

She expressed safety, which I get it, but she's been at my house several days at a time and felt safe.

I'm wondering if I should worry about it.

For my woman's family, Thanksgiving is Thursday AND Friday. Thursday is the smaller nuclear family dinner. Friday is the HUGE extended family dinner. I'm the only black person. Not the only POC (one of my woman's cousins has a Dominican wife), but I'm the only one that "looks African" IYKWIM. NorCal, liberal af family and whatnot. It's been over a decade, and the fam accepts me, but only because I made NOT being dismissed a part of my personality with regard to them (think Bar Breaker by Prof).

The fam knows me by now. I'm even able to contribute to the larger family dinner because it is now well known that I can cook really well. My dessert was the one that got the most compliments.

The thing is... this didn't happen overnight. We started as a CraigsList NSA bootycall. Yet, here we are 20 years later, no engagement ring, no wedding. And her family just has to deal with it.

This is all to say, I really don't get the general sentiment against casual sex and casual relationships. This bootycall has lasted 20 years! No, we're not getting married. And if that is a desired outcome of dating in your 50s, I kind of feel for you. Because you're gonna be disappointed. If you're not with someone that you can wake up next to everyday and say, "Yeah, I can go another 24 hours with you," without having that "guarantee" of permanence that marriage is supposed to provide (it doesn't, it just gives legal grounds for someone to take something from you that they didn't earn, if you are the larger earner in the relationship), then you're probably in the wrong relationship.

This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful that I'm able to spend my time and my life with someone who "gets" me. And I've been thankful for a long time, though I haven't always acted like it.

Edit:

I should add that I have been married before. I married a very beautiful black woman with the most amazingly phat ass you've NEVER seen in your life (oh yeah, I got pics, and no, I ain't sending anybody a goddamn thing)! But that woman was also a divorcee who had 3 young daughters at the time, and convinced me to adopt two more daughters! (1: Yes, that ass was definitely that phat to be able to convince me to do crazy shit like adopting; 2: No, that ass was not phat enough to convince me to abandon my adopted children like she did before we divorced: no ass is phat enough to make me abandon my children, ever! (I'm now a grandpa with a 16yo granddaughter that works at McDonalds as her first real job! And I couldn't be happier.)

Probably more info than you needed, but I really hate half-assing pretty much anything. Comes from being Blerd! Son of Blerds!

Started dating a great woman and the relationship took off. Intimacy, long talks, texts during the day… all the fun stuff. Then she blurts out that she can’t trust me. I was stunned. I never would cheat.

She lists out her concrete examples and says that I’m just an encounter away from cheating.

We went out to a club/music venue. We drove in separate cars as I was coming from work. I got there early and held a spot in line. An attractive young woman walks up behind me and asks a few questions about the club. We chat for a few minutes and as I always crack a joke, I poke fun at the doorman standing 20 feet away. Not mean or insulting but he was enjoying his job way too much. She leans in conspiratorially and giggles at my joke when my gf walks up at the same time and sees us laughing.

Same night, my gf goes off to stand by the stage. It’s too loud for me so I stand back and take in the crowd. It’s a fun venue so I pull out my phone and take a picture. A woman walks up next to me and says “that’s a great idea” and she takes a picture too. We compare pics and mine looks great and hers looks like it was taken with a potato. I make some joke to the same effect and she asks for help. So we stand close and tinker with her phone. Gf walks up and looks at us.

The following few days she comes out and says it. “You ask for a shaker of salt and it turns into a full conversation with a waitress!” “I can’t trust you.”

Yes, I’m chatty, a pretty boy (even at my age) and I tell awful jokes. But I never pick up, cheat , one night stand. Not judging but it is just not me.

Is my behavior going to curse me for the remainder of my dating life or is she just too much on the insecure side?

Is anybody watching the new Netflix series "The Later Daters"? It's about dating over 55. I Just started watching it this evening. Pretty funny. The dating coach is the author Logan Ury who wrote "How Not to Die Alone". I loved her book. Episode 2 is spicy! Thoughts?

So, here’s the situation: we’ve been seeing each other since January. We’ve had some fun, a few steamy moments, and honestly, she’s got a way of dressing that makes my head do a double-take every time I see her. But early on, I started picking up on something—those subtle signs that maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t headed in the direction I had originally imagined.

She came out of a tough marriage. Like, the kind of tough where affection was rarer than free parking in downtown Toronto, and good sex? Practically a myth. She’s admitted she’s a little hesitant to jump back into the deep end with someone new, and honestly, I can’t blame her. Whenever I try to show her affection—a hug, a kiss on the cheek, or even just holding her hand—she enjoys it but looks at me like I’m introducing her to an alien concept. (Affection? What is this sorcery?)

But hey, I believe in that cheesy mantra: if you can’t handle someone at their worst, you don’t deserve them at their best. And it’s November now—nearly a year later—and here I am still holding doors for her like I’m auditioning for a rom-com. There was even that one time we had a guitar-playing stalker serenading us until I paid him off like I was negotiating with a street busker mafia.

We laugh a lot, which is kind of the best part. But here’s the catch—I’m catching feelings again. Big ones. And while she’s got some healing to do from her past, I can’t help but wonder if I should keep pursuing this while she figures it out, or quietly bow out before I get in too deep.

Oh, and fun fact: it’s her 20th anniversary of being 25. (I’ll let you do the math on that one.)

So, what do you think? Do I go full speed ahead and risk the emotional turbulence, or do I hit the eject button and save myself the heartache? Asking for a guy who’s already halfway smitten.

Anyone who knows some of my dating story knows I (51F) have an ex lover/situationship from a man ( 49M) I knew (him And his whole family) for 27 years. The closest I have ever felt to another person. And when we broke up, it shattered me.

I cried for about 3 years. It's now been 5 years. He wanted us to be friends and just kept texting. Since he wouldn't talk about it. I just said a final goodbye like 6 months ago.

He texted at night, Happy Thanksgiving. Why?? (Rhetorical, I know why) I texted back a Snoopy thanksgiving meme. No other words since.

Luckily I am not hurt, or stressed or over analyzing. I just thought I'd share. I'm still numb to love. I just thought it was weird.

Okay, I'm going to ruffle some feathers with this post.

Note-Please remember I'm expressing my opinions. Yes, my opinions are not the "norm" for many women. I realize that. I also realize that while I may not be the "norm", I'm certainly not alone.

1. I absolutely cannot understand why women are often looked at negatively when they express that they like sex. It's not all men or women that look down on sexually liberated women, but the old hangups are still very present to a degree. Why are women that enjoy casual sex called out negatively?

2. There's still an idea that a woman is giving sex to a man. In suppose in some cases that is what transpires, but I can honestly say that's never been the case for me. In every sexual encounter, I was simply enjoying an adult activity with a partner. I was never giving anything up. I was giving pleasure, but that's part of the enjoyment. To me, phrasing it that way makes it sound like an obligation or chore.

3. Thankfully, most people DON'T believe sex is only for men to enjoy. Now, we need to encourage more women to be vocal about what helps them enjoy it.

4. Many women don't like to initiate... which is not an issue in my opinion if that's her preference. I just hope more women start enjoying initiating.

And... maybe I'm wrong and most of these outdated ideas aren't that prevalent.

Opinions? Thoughts?

60m - you would see on OLD profiles, “no games” so when a woman starts “testing you” how does that differ from games?

So, I've been talking to a man for a few weeks and didn't get to meet him until today (schedules got in the way plus some other life events).

I like his personality, his looks and our conversation flowed. He is a good kisser. I'm excited about date number 2. I feel very much at peace being around him.

I've been chatting with a guy on a dating site for a week, maybe off and on. The thEverys, every message he uses my name. Good morning, Sally. What are you doing today, Sally. That's really funny, though, Sally. It was starting to feel like scam messages, so I asked for him to send a pic with a particular pose so I can be sure it wasn't a scam profile. He did so. However, the use of my name so much is really still unsettling. Would this sit wrong with anyone else?

Edit: I think I'm just going to end the connection. I already felt odd about the chatting, and that didn't change even with him sending the photo. Im not normally overly skeptical, so maybe that I am is telling.

Looking for some feedback here. I’ve only been on eharmony for a few weeks and have found mostly scammers. I’m starting to wonder: Is it okay to ask the person for a LinkedIn profile or a FB page or their business website if they are entrepreneurs? I’ve got a personal website that tells about my work, my writings,etc and I’ve started to give that site out after I’ve chatted a bit so they know who I am. In return, I’d like to ask for them to share something similar. How does that come across? Tired of wasting time only to learn the person is not who they say they are!

I feel awful. I feel evil. Which is something my ex always told me I am. The relationship last three years. On and off constantly. He wanted something different than what I was able to offer him. He became bitter and angry because I wasn’t putting him first in my life. So we agreed, after many fights, to work on ourselves ( meaning therapy) and see what happens. Two month into “working on himself” he posts new pics with a new gf. When I confronted him, he told me he really wants to be with me and but is scared because of our past and he just needs time to think. All the while, we’re having sex, going out and doing things that dating people do. When I ask him how he going to handle his new girl situation without hurting her, he hems and haws and tells me to give him more space to think. Gets angry when I ask questions about how he’s feeling. After a particularly nasty session of pointing fingers, yelling, blaming and telling me to back off, had enough. I texted his new girlfriend and told her what he’s doing. She out there posting everywhere that he’s her man. So I told her what “her man” was up to all of last weekend. I feel awful for hurting another woman and acting like a complete scorned bitch. I was completely out of my mind with hurt, jealousy and just wanted him to talk to me.

I have recently separated from my wife of over 20 years (both in our 50s), and we will be divorcing - just starting the process. We have three children: 20M, 17M and 13F, who are obviously my first priority.

The marriage broke down due to my wife's untreated mental health issues - these probably fall somewhere in the "personality disorder" spectrum, but I'm not a therapist, and there is no diagnosis. What I can say is that I am regularly woken in the middle of the night to be accused of things I have not done; she feels that everyone is trying to stop her from achieving her goals and so on. She has occasionally threatened me, although has never actually done anything. Her temper can change from very pleasant to extreme anger in a few seconds - potentially over something as minor as where I chose to park the car.

The point is that I feel pretty traumatised by the whole experience, and while I have absolutely no plans to date anyone any time soon, I would like to get myself to a place where I could contemplate doing so eventually.

I have been in therapy which I have paused for a while, but will be restarting once the divorce is more properly underway (there is only so much time in the week, and the divorce arrangements need to take priority). It's early enough in the process that I do not know what the custody arrangements will be, although my wife would like me to have nothing to do with our children as she believes I am trying to turn them against her.

I would love any advice that others who have started over from a similar position can give.

How Black Friday Dating is the new trend:

1. Stuck in a long line? Scope out a cutie's cart for gift ideas and ask where they got them. Telling they could have gotten it cheaper somewhere else is always a winner!
2. In a tug-o-war for the insanely priced electronic? Offer to co-purchase so you have an excuse to see them.
3. Circling the parking lot like sharks? Start waving as you pass them again and again. Bonus if you can find a spot next to them and start up a conversation saying you felt you where trying to find Nemo.
4. See someone attractive sitting by themselves at the food court? Get a pretzel and sit down by them to commiserate about the crowds (or at least until their partner comes along).
5. Waiting in line for Santa? Telling a "This one time at Santa camp" story will surely bring a smile.
6. Store is all out of what you drove an hour for? Ask an attractive customer/employee for help while sporting sad puppy eyes and say that was the only thing on (insert name here)'s Christmas list (no shame in getting a pity date).
7. Still stuck in line because the store won't open another register? Serenade the attractive customer in line ahead of you with the McKenzie Brother's Twelve Days of Christmas Song or Cheech and Chong's Santa Claus and His Old Lady song. You'll be a hit!

Lastly:

8. Just go to a bar with other people that are trying to avoid the madness and buy a round of beers. You'll make friends who might know someone single!

(obviously this is a joke so please share your Black Friday Dating ideas for a laugh)

According to research, while men and I am a male, generally report a higher sex drive than women on average, the difference is not a clear-cut percentage, with studies suggesting that around 25-30% of women may have a higher sex drive than the average man, meaning there is significant variation within each gender and a large overlap between the sexes; essentially, a "moderate to large" difference in sex drive between genders exists, but with a lot of individual variability.

Factors influencing sex drive: Hormones like testosterone, estrogen, social norms, and an individuals psychology all play a role in determining sex drive.

The 12 Sexual Personality Types:

1.       The Asexual: Views sex as having little to no sexual attraction to others.

2.       The Decompressor: Views sex as a form of stress relief and relaxation.

3.       The Explorer: Sees sex as a playground for experimentation and learning new things.

4.       The Fair-Trader: Values balance and mutual generosity in sexual experiences.

5.       The Giver: Focuses on providing pleasure to their partner, sometimes at the expense of their own.

6.       The Guardian: Prioritizes safety and security in sexual encounters.

7.       The Passion-Pursuer: Seeks intense, all-encompassing sexual experiences.

8.       The Pleasure-Seeker: Focuses on pure physical pleasure and enjoyment.

9.       The Prioritizer: Values consistency and making sex a priority in their relationship.

10.   The Romantic: Emphasizes emotional connection and intimacy during sex.

11.   The Spiritualist: Views sex as a transcendent or spiritual experience.

12.   The Thrill-Seeker: Enjoys the element of taboo or forbidden aspects in sexual encounters.

Which of the personalities above, do you identify with?

Once you've picked out your top three, consider asking your partner to pick out theirs and compare—it might help you better understand each other and how to make your mutual sex life more satisfying for both of you.

___________________________________________________________________________

As requested, these articles generally report on original research or case studies.  Many of these publications are "peer reviewed" or "refereed".  This means that scholars in the same field review the research and findings before the article is published. 

1.       Gender Differences in Sex Drive.

2.       Who's got the stronger sex drive, men or women?.

3.       How High Sex Drives Differ in Men and Women.

4.       Is a Man's Sex Drive Really Much Stronger Than a Woman's?.

5.       This Sex Therapist Has Identified 11 Unique Sex Personality Types

I (50F) am seeking some feedback on my OLD profile. What are your thoughts?

Busy introverted tattooed and pierced professional seeks chivalrous, NON-smoking expert cuddler who is kind, smart, handsome, communicative and witty with the ability to contribute to my peace, read a room and utilize subject-verb agreement.

I'm a left leaning registered Independent. 💜 Heavy on the left. 💙

If you are unclothed in pictures and not a full-time lifeguard, it is a hard no for me.

I’ve been seeing someone for about a year and a half. He will make “plans”, but then when I reach out to him right before I would go over there he usually has an excuse not to. We probably see each other 2x a week. It’s very inconsistent. I never really know until last minute. Literally. If I tell him this bothers me he says that makes him not want to be with me at all. I feel like there is something bigger going on here but don’t know what. He told me tonight that he no longer wants to spend Saturday with me due to me telling him that him backing out tonight bothered me. All signs here to me say just disengage and that I don’t matter to him at all. Am I over reacting? Oh and he still won’t call me his girlfriend after over a year. He did say that he would let me know if he slept with anyone else. I’m new to dating and have been off the market for decades. Is this standard? Am I being out of line and needy? My last ex was a real piece of work so I have no idea if this is normal or that’s just how it is .

I'm all for being open, honest and blunt about sex before the clothes come off. Not the first date... unless it's heading that way (nothing wrong with it), but before sex happens.

I believe in...

1. Hard no's

2. Things you MIGHT be willing to try.

3. STD testing

4. Birth control

5. Things that really please you

I think too many people get hung up on being embarrassed about talking about sex. But, it's a normal human activity.

I'm questioning whether I am being unreasonable...

I (59M) - have been divorced for 14 years both kids are through college and live away from home. I've had a few long-term relationships since divorce. Met a very pretty lady (57F) in a restaurant event. This was beginning of July - She's a widow (many years) and says she hasn't had many close relationships since.

We're both fairly busy, but have been seeing each other on average once a week, Either of us will make suggestions, and I honestly enjoy her company and we click....

She has a daughter who lives at home (and is home a lot) - so in general we go out and I drop her off home - we have had some heavy petting and that was it... She's come to my place twice - but I didn't want to rush her and it was some time ago - since then when I've suggested coming to mine she's not been able to, or if she's driving she just wants to drop me off rather than come in (after I've invited her).

I am an average looking guy - sure I could lose 20lbs, but I think I'm fun to hang around with - but honestly I want intimacy - I don't even that high a sex drive, but every now and then would be nice.. She is very attractive and you can see in the past she was stunning...

Am I just batting above my average - and need to accept that we're not going to get intimate - I mean, she says the right things and we have the heavy petting - but after 5 months, I question whether she finds me attractive enough - and well I'd rather find someone who does want to be intimate - I've dropped hints about coming around or coming in after dropping me off, but it's not happened...