RULES

So I know two older women in my age range and both are available for dating but they are friends with each other. How do you handle that? Let's say one of them likes me but I first ask the other one out. Do I lose both of them? I do not know how to proceed.

So, M(58)I joined a pickleball league, do charity work with a dog rescue, joined a hiking club, and joined a local Singles Facebook group.

I'm getting nothing, nada. I seem to be great at making friends but not at making relationships.

I'm not sure what else to do !? I'm not religious but what do you think about me joining a church ? I could go on Sunday mornings and maybe I'll meet someone there ?

I sound desperate I know, but I'm not desperate, I can wait it out, but also I have been waiting it out !!

I live in a college town. Not a lot of singles here my age (55m). My sons moved away to go to college. Most of my friends are 10-15 years younger with kids at home. I ended a 3 year relationship that started during my divorce from my ex of 25 years. I haven’t been alone in 30 years. I’m struggling with the adjustment.

Has anyone gotten a review of their OLD profile(s) by a "professional"? I know that what I have isn't stellar and I could use some honest feedback and suggestions for improvement. I guess I just don't understand why I'm getting zero response. I'm a 53M, don't think I'm that bad looking, have a good job, highly educated, no kids, outgoing, stable, and live in the DC area (large metro area). Clearly I'm doing something wrong.

It seems that finding a good person to date is less likely these days. I'm wondering if it's fine to focus on being happy and cared for on my own. Any advice?

I’ve been single for many many years due to putting family commitments first. Dealing with the OLD I’ve found some ladies who are older tend not to be big into texting, or don’t seem to keep their phone close. As a habit from having and raising children, having an elderly mother, communicating with my job- I tend to keep my phone close and check it fairly quickly if it goes off. During dating I have decided giving out my number and consistent communication also shows that I’m no scammer, not attached and that I’m being honest and sincere about my intentions. What’s your preferred communication? Do you make the guy wait when he text? Do you tend to keep it close or is your phone a necessary nuisance to you?

So, I don't date.

Can you find love on Reddit?

Hey guys, I have been single for a while and I am seeking a long term relationship. I just got on some dating apps but a lot of people are just wanting one nights stands and hookups. Any advice on finding someone?

I feel like being on here is so much more fun than trying to navigate dating apps. Wouldn't it be cool to have dating message boards where you are all basically mingling like at a party and then you could DM people you clicked with?

And, wow, I feel like someone has probably suggested this already, or maybe this already exists, but I'm feeling brilliant right now.

Hello! I need you advice or thoughts about this situation. I recently started seeing a this guy. On our second meeting, we did the deed and he stayed over for the night which I didn't really find weird. On our third date, he stayed over at my place but nothing happened. He stayed over for 2 days but it was just all cuddle which I find weird. So my question is, is it normal for some guys to sleepover for a day or 2 and not even initiate anything?

Edit: Is cuddling with him and being touchy with him enough sign of me initiating sex? I thought it's clear that allowing him to stay for the night is enough invite for sex? 😄 Or maybe not for other guys. For the time we spent, we mostly talked, watch a movie, worked a little since we both work online, and in bed we mostly cuddled.

I'm curious, what does it take (in your opinion)to make a good first date?

I'm sure this has been discussed, so please point me to that post if you know where it is. My question is, what is up with endless messaging in the apps? I'm 51F, trying to date men, lots of light chats going on, few actual suggestions to meet in person. What does it mean? Is this normal? Possibly I just don't hold their interest, but... is this a thing?

We are a few weeks in, and it is so surreal to be together. We are still pinching ourselves that it is happening. We have begun "soft launching" as the kids say, by telling a few select family and friends. Everyone is very happy about us. I was invited to a family dinner party tonight where they were all warm and friendly and said I fit right in. Next we are having dates with my kids.

He shares dogs with his ex, who doesn't know about us, and will likely not be happy about it. She was threatened by me without ever having met me, because she knew our history. She is supposed to pick up the dogs for the weekend so he can have trick or treaters without the dogs going bonkers. I have a little trepidation about potentially having an interaction with her, but hopefully this will pave the way to things being easier.

I just got engaged and I'm beyond happy. My ex wife continues to be nasty. Co parenting isn't easy with her but we are making it work. I have yet to tell her I'm engaged. I'm expecting drama. How can people at this stage of life thrive on chaos? What what your ex spouse reaction to getting remarried?

There was such a great response to the funny post I made a couple of days ago that I thought I should share the latest crop (maybe I should say “the latest crap” 😆). All actual text from actual OLD profiles written by men. Holy crow!

Great personality, which helps me deal with peephole

All my pictures are resent

I am of a man of God for and first most

If you like golf, it’s a plus if you like golf

I’m OK with whatever I get as long as it’s a lady only woman

I’m just a big psycho nut job

You should compliment me

I have custody of two awesome good boys (dogs) and also my son

Seeking a ladie to whoo

Nothing you can say will convince me to try yoga

I grew up in Arlington, Virginia, so there’s that

I have garden chickens

No criminal record to speak of

I always try to be bitter than the day before

I’m a former toddler

Never a doll moment

About to get divorced. I am legally separate

I don’t care about sports, but I’ll fake it for taco dip

I have a great seance of humor

I’m goal orient

I am financially staple

I have two kids, but they are outhouse

I drink sometimes because why not

I lick road trips

I where my emotions are on my sleeve

I am single and a father of which none are living with me

I don’t like events

Still trying to fine myself

I’m Jeff, but you can call me Chris

I always try to live life to the foolish

Well I am not very goodly talking about myself if you want to know mush more please ask

I work hard, but I like to on wine and relax

I have a great sense of humor, I can be quite conical at times

Life’s to short not two have fun!

I do not like to stand outside in the heat and sweat and then sweat some more

I respect yourself and you should respect myself too

I like to work on cars and also I own a hearse

I am all the way single. Believe me, I could not be more single

Okay most of us here are single and would like to be with someone, but since we live on our own, we get to do whatever we like at home!

What do you confess to doing that you wouldn't normally do if you were in a relationship?

I'll start. I eat ice cream out of a family size tub while watching TV and when I've had enough I put it back in the freezer for tomorrow.

I'm 58 yr old female, no kids, work full time but have had issues with my health over the last 5-6 years (fibromyalgia & athritis in both knees). because of this walking for any lenght of time is very painful. even going shopping for groceries is tricky some days. I am scheduled for knee replacement surgery but it could be a year or two waiting. Since this started I haven't dated. I didn't want to be put in a position to have to keep turning down date ideas because I could not do them, even things as simple as walk at the beach or walking the dog is a no go. I've been single for over 8 years now & I'm starting to worry no one will ever want to date me again if I don't put myself out there but I'm not sure if peddling my damaged goods is worthwhile. If you met someone who left your dating options limited would you even bother??

This is an update on an earlier thread, asking for advice. For context and background, my BF of nearly a year lied to me about his whereabouts. To learn more details, go to the previous thread. Last night, I finally confronted him. I led with the knowledge I knew he did not go on his business trip. I expressed the emotions I was going through, confusion, sadness, heartbreak. I shared how much turmoil it had caused me. He evaded the question briefly, but then admitted to the lie. At no point was he defensive. He acknowledged my feelings and confessed he felt embarrassed and concerned he had damaged our relationship. He was apologetic. I asked him if he was unhappy in the relationship or if he felt smothered in anyway. He said he was very happy in the relationship and in no way did he feel smothered, he added I gave him the right amount of freedom. He said his reason for lying was just stupid, it was nothing big and nothing for me to worry about. While I was appreciative of his calm and apparently caring response. I still feel that he was hiding something. It’s not my business what he does. But I did reiterate I want to be in a healthy partnership and that is not possible with just one person. He did sound remorseful, even though this “wasn’t a big deal” (according to him) to me, it has damaged my trust in him. He will be busy with work in the coming weeks. We have plans for the holidays and beyond. I can see an expiration to this relationship, especially if I can’t get over my distrust. I also don’t want to feel like I’m being gaslit or manipulated in a relationship. I have a decision to make in time. Thank you all for your thoughtful advice. It was helpful in many ways.

Note… this is my second update because it seems that the first one never posted. If it’s a duplicate, please let me know.

I met a woman out in the wild last night at a bar while watching a football game. We ended up talking a walk and hanging out pretty late and shared a few kisses at the end of the night. She asked for my number and texted me to confirm, but I didn’t save her name, and now I’ve forgotten it. I’m not sure how to play it off—any advice?

So, I don’t need any advice or anything like that. I just wanted to highlight just how crappy the “dating scene” is these days and perhaps give you a little giggle. I’m a 51y F and he’s 46. We’re from the same city and have followed him each other on social media for years. He’s this upstanding community guy in his current city and well known there as well as at home. He initiated a conversation with me out of the blue about a hurricane/tropical storm that recently hit our town pretty bad and ending up offering to take me to dinner after everything settles. I accepted. We talked periodically for about two weeks and during so he gave me the “I’m a good guy but I’ve been done wrong” spill. Because he seemed to be a good guy I believed him. Not long after that conversation, he hit me with the good old “send me a picture” game. Mind you, we follow each on instagram so he’s seen pictures. He’s a fitness guy and his page is full of shirtless, arms out type photos so he prefaced the picture question by saying “you’ve seen me so let me see you”. I send him a full body (fully clothed) picture of myself. Then he basically insinuates that’s he’s referring to a naked picture. I tell him it’s way too early for that and he completely ghosted me after that 😂. I see that nothing has changed in the world of dating. People are still playing games.

All Hallows Eve is just round the corner, the clocks are changing and then the Christmas PR machine will get started up by the suits of commerce. Looking forward to it or tired of the hype, materialism and fake pleasantness for a small part of the year ? Do you have a date to snuggle with, to weather the BS snowstorm ?

I (50F) have been single over 3 years now. I have great teens, a happy life, a great career and I’ve been told I’m pretty. I tried all kinds of OLD sites and found out I really hate online dating. I don’t do much outside of work and family and friends and don’t have a chance to meet too many people otherwise. How are you all finding all these dates and actually having a social life after 50? I’d like to have a man to spend time with and be friends and lovers but it just seems impossible.

58(f) here. Going away for 2 night with a guy (55) I met via OLD. We have been seeing each other for 3 years now, but this is our first real getaway. He is paying for the hotel and will probably cover meals because that’s what was expected in folks our age. I want to offer to pay 1/2. We both work, and we afford this. It isn’t about money, for me it is about respect and equity. I’m white and he is Hispanic which is part of my hesitation. I always offer to go Dutch. In this situation, I’m concerns I will offend him.

Feedback: should I bring it up or not?

Group bike ride yesterday.

Chatted with this woman while riding side by side. I liked her, and she appeared to like chatting with me. I made it a point to also ride beside and chat with other folks, to not look creepy.

I did have the guts to ask for her name, but didn't ask for contact info. She told me her first name. There are few group rides over the winter, and those there are, she won't be going on, various reasons. Its possible I'll run into her in the spring.

I wondered if she's an appropriate age. She looked late 40s, maybe 50 (I'm 64) But Ive misjudged ages when meeting in the wild in the past (like a woman i thought was 45, but was actually 38).

In our chat she talked about work. Her company and her job. So....

Yeah I found her full name, and her CV. Based on graduation dates she's probably 53 (yay!)

I will not try to contact her, but wait till we meet in the wild again. If we do, I won't mention what I found.

Am I evil for googling?

https://youtube.com/shorts/JM0fozpzKsY?si=C0mODhhhNk69V85J

This seems to have really taken off since I last downloaded hinge. I'm accustomed to many 'non-political', but now it seems like every 3rd one says 'other'. Strange.

Well, for one thing, I feel like I'm being love-bombed. We'd only exchanged selfies to confirm we were who we said, and he was checking in every day and I had to tell him I was sick for him to back off. And when I did go back to the app, he was sending me shirtless pics and telling me he missed me. And wanted my number (I insisted on telegram instead.)

Then on a video chat, he suggested an expensive restaurant and again said he'd missed me (why? It's just an online chat).

Doesn't this sound like love bombing?

Anyway, we have a date for Friday, but while there's a place, no set time. And he's 32 and I'm 50. Which suggests to me he's either out for a green card (he's Turkish, I'm American) or money.

Am I being too suspicious?

Update: thank you all for your advice! It was consistently clear there were too many red flags - and I wasn't comfortable with him. He now blocked and deleted from contacts.

For curiosity's sake:
Eliminate all filters except age bracket* if you're using OLD.
Start your reply with:
M/F/Other, Your approx age (low, mid, late 50s, for instance), What app you're using, whether you have Premium or not, AND, What ages you filter for (45-60, 23-30, whatever)

Swipe through 5-10 profiles and post whether you swipe left or right and why. You may need to widen your search parameters to the largest distance available if you've run out of people locally.

If you want to keep it short and simple, post the first reason that attracts or turns you off of a profile.
If you want to add additional commentary or specific quotes you see, feel free.

Let's try to keep this a judgement free zone so people can be honest but try not to be cruel in your descriptions (it's ok to say, too heavy or too short, but not disgustingly fat or short enough he should be in a circus, for instance.)

If you happen to have Premium, feel free to swipe through your Likes vs General Population once you've eliminated all filters except age bracket. If you choose to go through your Likes, Indicate that in your post

*This makes it fair for those who don't have Premium.