/r/darkjokes
r/darkjokes is a place to post dark jokes. Nothing more, nothing less. Because of the nature of dark jokes, this is a NSFW subreddit.
Turtle hate goes here: r/banned
An American subreddit, by Americans, for Americans.
Help end violence: r/BanVideoGames
Dark jokes are jokes that employs farce and morbid humor, which, in its simplest form, is humor that makes light of subject matter usually considered taboo.
Post your dark jokes here! No joke is too dark.
NO BETTY WHITE JOKES ever
- Jokes must be in text form (no linking to other sites: imgur, youtube, etc.).
- All mods and subscribers must take at least one nap every two days
- This is a communist subreddit based on the eternal science of Marxism-Leninism based on the revolutionary philosophy of dialectical materialism
- Do not repost from all time top 20 list in /r/darkjokes/
- No spam.
- No Ouija's.
- Don't Overdo it!
- No baby jokes!
- If you see a repost, downvote or ignore. Commenting "Repost" is not the new 'cool'.
- Metaposts are not allowed. This is a dark joke subreddit, not a talk about the subreddit subreddit
- We the mods will routinely bait you. Don't get used to it! :P
- Meow
We reserve the right to do whatever we want.
/r/darkjokes
610,214 Subscribers
What is Jerry Sandusky's favorite penalty?
Illegal touching
01:45 UTC
Why was the Black Dahlia cut in half?
Because the killer wanted to make Elizabeth short.
06:52 UTC
I had sex with my dad in an elevator.
It was wrong on so many levels
11:00 UTC
Why are priests called father?
Because calling him daddy would blow his cover.
01:09 UTC
There’s a big irony in being a gay pescatarian
I don’t eat sausage but I love fish
20:36 UTC
Today 15 girls asked me to go out.
(I was in girl's washroom)
06:01 UTC
What's the difference between a beer and a abortion?
I've never forced a woman to have a beer.
10:11 UTC
What’s the difference between a drunk driver on a farm and Jeffrey Dahmer with diarrhea?
The driver hits a shed.
14:02 UTC
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile
22:43 UTC
I seen a kid crying, so I asked him " where are your parents" He started to cry even more
Man i love working at the orphanage.
19:42 UTC
Whats the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus
The picture only takes 1 nail to hang
15:11 UTC
What do you call an orphan who is kidnapped?
A suprise adoption
08:49 UTC
Me and my brother used to always argue over who was taller
Now it's definitive that I'm at least 6 feet taller than him.
16:42 UTC
What do you call jail and prison in Russia?
Life and Death.
15:48 UTC
I’m tired of the stupid question, “are you an extrovert or an introvert?”
Bitch I’m a pervert
(not a joke joke but a funny remark)
23:28 UTC
If I had a gun with 1 bullet and was locked in a cage with a man and a bear
I'd shoot myself
01:11 UTC
DARK joke.
Dark jokes are like necrophilia. Some of them are dead….and some people like them waaay too much
21:20 UTC
How did the skeleton cross the road?
Not quickly enough.
07:39 UTC
You know i found out the hard way that my toaster is water proof
09:50 UTC
I told my therapist I was having suicidal thoughts
Now the fucker is making me pay in advance…
02:17 UTC
Dark humour
I asked jeffrey dahmer if he wanted to go out for burgers...
...but he told me he's good he's got five guys at home.
02:46 UTC
My red state town of 3 people agrees the 2020 election was rigged
My red state town including my cousin, sister, wife, the town plumber and me all agree it was rigged. All 3 of us.
01:35 UTC
What did the Power Ranger say to his hospice nurse?
It's Morphine time!
18:45 UTC
I am going to commit assisted suicide next month.
I am becoming a Boeing whistleblower.
23:47 UTC
Medusa was so hot that..
Whoever saw her got hard
08:27 UTC
What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
An orphan
00:48 UTC
Just funny
There once was a man named dave, he dug up a protitutes grave , she was mauldy as shit and missing a tit , but think of all the money he saved ...
16:22 UTC
Shake it once, you are fine. Shake it twice, You are playing with it. Shake it a third time and it's dead.
I really have to stop shaking babies
17:08 UTC
Alcoholism and necrophilia are the same thing
Both include cracking open a cold one
21:01 UTC
What's the difference between a bear and a male stranger?
A bear won't rape you.
02:09 UTC