A few rooms down from me. He’s probably only around 22. Turned yellow, they wheeled him out to the ER for a day and he came back looking pretty normal.

Later that day I overhear a few med students and their presiding doctor huddled by my room as the med students gave their best theories on his diagnosis while the doctor calmly corrected them as if it was a pop quiz.

I don’t know exactly what it was officially but it was outside our usual vocabulary of alcoholic hepatitis, cirrhosis, etc. Some complex medical term for his liver disease.

Either way, seeing them looming over his bed calmly answering his hysterical questions and basically telling him his liver is fucked was really harrowing. All while he’s in active withdrawal. I can’t imagine.

This is a tough life we live lads. Chairs

Last Friday drink roughly 20 units with one meal which is more than usual. I did my usually 10-12 and then went to the bar and drank about 10 more shots got in a bar fight and got tackled by a fat fuck bouncer who broke 2 of my ribs .

Saturday wake up in excruciating pain head straight to the station buy a half pint and say this is gonna last me all day , well that was gone by about 10 am so I headed back for another half pint so now we are at 8 shots before probably By 12 pm . Drank another half pint and some wine so maybe ended around 13 14 units.

Woke up Sunday and actually felt the true pain of the broken ribs , grab a half pint and two shooters drink that and turn myself into a detox facility.

Sunday afternoon - Tuesday evening Idk they had me so fucking loaded up man I was in a lot of pain that my brain was so focused on the ribs that I didn't even give a fuck about the withdrawal. After 48 hours I checked myself out of detox against medical advice .

Tuesday night -weds got picked up at night bought tall can 2 shooters go to sleep . Wake up Wednesday buy 2 shooters grab some shit from my house and go to the same bar to find my sunglasses. Go to hospital get my ribs x rayed and 2 are broken 😂 get prescribed Vicodin and on my way home grab another 9 shooters holy fuck . I drink all that and go to sleep I didn't take any of the vicodine

Well now it's thursday and my ribs hurt like a mf took 2 shots but I don't wanna really drink or take the damn vicodine. I guess I gotta restart the whole thing.

Drinking is awesome

My main thing is I am an alcoholic. There are so many different systems that will help you quit and some of them work I guess

But my mother passed away in May and she was not the wisest person on Earth

But one time she told me that I could go to a thousand AA meetings to get a hundred sponsors but the only way I'm going to quit is just to put down the bottle.

My mother was right The only way out of addiction is you got to reach down and grab your nuts

And quit Who the hell wants to be an AA guy?

I have literally been to hundreds of AA meetings and I I despise AA The only respectable way to quit an addiction is just Grab your nuts and quit.

That being said I'm 60 years old I love to drink and I have cirrhosis.

Drinking is going to take me out but I don't really care.

I could have had a better life and I could have a lot worse life I feel like I did okay.

So I'm going to get a cheap bottle of vodka tomorrow chairs Chairs

Anyone else have a dream where maybe they're in the throes of a bender or withdrawal, and it's a normal dream it's whatever but it starts turning grayscale and you feel something like there's something wrong with your heart or whatever? Shortness of breath or anxiety and then when you wake up you found it during rain sleep your watch is telling you that your heart beats either Spike dangerously high or dangerous low for 10 or more minutes?

I got my gallbladder surgery a while back. I used to get black out with a couple of cans of four loko. I would also black out with margaritas. It seems my tolerance is non existent since getting surgery. I will get buzzed or somewhat but I will not black out. I will not get fun drunk anymore it sucks so baddddddd

I don't leave the house without having a good rum and coke in my coffee cup. But the only thing that makes me happy is hanging out with my buddy playing some old school Xbox. It's the only thing I have left that makes life worth it. Old school Xbox and lan parties are a thing of the past. Hanging out with my buddy, another CA and felon(construction services) is the best. It's the best.

Ive been to jail for DUI TWO DAYS in a row. Please help me. dhdhdjsjsnsnznsnsnnsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjdjdjdjdjdjsjjdjsjdjsjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjjdjsjdjsjdjdjdjdjdjdhdhdhdhdjdjjdjdjdjdjdjsjsjsjsjjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsj

I found this story that I wrote and I don't remember writing it.

When I read the story I was like okay this rings a bell but I don't remember writing it.

It's a really strange story I was probably on meth.

I don't really write that much but the stories I write are all about insanity.

Hey write about what you know

They make it easier than ever now. Download an app and you're playing blackjack for a fun, a dollar a hand.

A little wasted you up it to $5 a hand and lose. Next rounds gotta be a winner, up the bet to $10.

So on and so on. I'm about 4k down on this app. Like drinking, it's the sweet serotonin of wins that keep me coming back.

Took a month off. I fucking hated it. But it was either that or be homeless. I snuck a couple drinks outside the gas station but NO alcohol in the house made it suuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkkk

Well... A week ago got the green light. My daughter ran away, now I have Covid and I'm at a 12 pack a day of voodoos.

What in your brain in acceptable? I will never BE acceptable. But when I'm telling my roommate it's allllll good........ How much do I tell her? Is a six pack at the of the night still the thing or nah

One thing that I have come to realize is that it hurts so much worse when you are trying fir it not to.Just embrace it. Belly-flop into self destruction. Swan dive into oblivion. Punch Bubba ray dudley in the gooch, lay him on a folding table, and hit the swanton from the top of a 20 foot ladder while JR screams about how you have no self regard for your own wellbeing or decency.

For old time's sake, i bought some Taaka. Fuck does this shit hurt so good. I might wake up blind in the morning, or I might not wake up at all, but at least the state might issue me a seeing eye dog that I can toss stale chunks of bagel to. He might be trained by the best, but all of that can be undone by the worst.

Where was I? Oh yes: I have no idea.

For real though, if you drunkards need a some ambience this evening, light some candles and chug clear liquor then listen to Excess by Health featuring Perturbator. Es tan bueno.

I remember the month when alcohol stopped being fun. April of last year. I had been consistently drinking for less than a year and that's all it took to become completely miserable. I still drink every day just to feel kind of ehhhhhh

I went from the most confident person ever to feeling like a piece of worthless shit in less than a year of drinking every day, and I have a great career, too. Money isn't an issue. I just don't know how to stop. I don't feel happy when I drink the shit anymore. Like im gonna stop anyways.... nope

At this point I just feel less sad when I do my daily drinking. Why the fuck did God or whoever make us like this.. don't you wish you could smile and laugh like your normal friends?

I'm ranting..

I'm in my mid thirties now, and when I drink heavily all day two days in a row, it usually affects me for likely 3 or 4 days after. If I drink all day more days in a row? Likely at least a week. I don't do benders or liquor any more because it honestly takes weeks to recover my sleep.

I went to a wedding weekend before last, so drinking from 1pm until 2am. I woke up and took my 1pm unfortunate rail replacement bus and train home, drinking 7.5% alcoholic energy drinks and continued drinking when I got home until I passed out, then did the same thing the day after. The day after that I was working from home, but I was feeling rough in the morning so drank all day while working too (although not completely crazy, think it was about 16 beers in total, about 40 UK units). While drinking I made plans with someone the night after. Even when making the plans I was thinking I really shouldn't, I'm going to feel like death tomorrow.

While I can't say I felt spritely and good, I just felt low to moderately hungover, went to the gig and I even slept okay afterwards. I was thinking okay this was probably one of those delayed withdrawals I get from time to time, and although again I didn't feel great on Thursday and Friday, I felt pretty okay, just tired, and I managed to get to sleep fairly okay as well.

I followed a similar pattern about a month prior when I instead went to a hen do rather than a wedding, and I felt so horrendous on the Wednesday I had to call in sick a few days and I still felt rough right up until the Sunday.

Oh well I'm not complaining.

I have to give a speech during my final college semester like right now and I have had some drinks but apparently not enough. Im sitting in the bathroom right now. I have pukestains on the jeans I haven't washed in 2 weeks and I smell like shit and probably reek of liquor.

If I don't do it I will fail and this is my last class. Speech class. It sucks. I have to take this to get my bachelors degree. This is really the culmination of my education? It comes down to this?

I can't do it. But I have to. Im so nervous right now. I don't want to stand up and talk to everyone. I don't want them to see me. I've always had crippling social anxiety and its hard for me to complete this simple task of talking about a topic in front of people.

I hold myself accountable on this subreddit's behalf that I will get up there and give a great speech in the next 30 minutes.

Thanks for reading my pathetic memoir. I finished my pint of Titos so I'm feeling a little better. It didn't get me drunk.. I hope this doesn't sound too stupid. But I'm gonna go for it after I take a piss.

I’m a piss beer drinker. And it’s more expensive and tastes and smells like shit. But my self esteem has been really really low for months because of what my ex did. I’m craving sex. It’s been way too long. I know girls are physically and mentally attracted to me aside from my vices, but I think the smell of 15 keystones and steel reserve on your breath errday’ would turn off the average girlie, so nothing happens. I heard vodka is a little more odorless and cheaper.

TLDR; beer smells bad, trying to have sex for a bounce back to self esteem so I can feel better about myself. Maybe a controlled quasi seltzer only for some hangouts with them is a happy medium?

Right two things I've noticed one is a sensitivity to alcohols effects and two is the horrible nausea I get when I don't drink but when I do drink it goes away I had a rum and coke and a shot of rum so I'm feeling nice enough it's 8:20am in the UK rn

I know there is probably a better or more fitting sub to post this in, but you are my people. Hear me out, please. I need to get this off my chest.

Last Friday I went in for my yearly mammogram and got the result today on mychart. Something is fucky with my left breast. The notes recommend another mammogram and ultrasound. I am still waiting for my primary doctor to weigh in.

This fucking sucks.

I had a sinking feeling in my gut that something was going to go wrong. Something that I didn't feel prior to my previous mammograms.

Thank God I was about 6 drinks deep when I read the results. Or I might have freaked the fuck out worse than now.

Love you all.

I'm slow on picking up social cues. But I knew that she was sad.

I should have hugged her. Her voice was cracking. Tears slid down her eyes.

But I was so confused. I was so scared. So she remained silent as she faded away.

I should have hugged her when her mother died. She stood in front of me. Telling me the news. That she was going to fly back home. To her. To the one that loves her more than me. I saw the tears as she was walking away. And I froze.

I...I fucking froze.

She's never cried in front of me.

I should have hugged her.

I don't understand what the impact of hugs is.

I don't understand how it affects people emotionally. I understand that normal people want and need hugs. It helps.

But it won't bring my mom back. I knew that. But I feel like I should have hugged her even if I knew what was going to happen.

I should have hugged her. And I didn't.

God. why didn't I hug her.

I think she needed her hug. She needed a hug and I didn't give it to her.

This lady at the liquor store will not sell you

liquor if you look impaired.

She always goes like 'are you okay?'

You better answer up like a soldier and say yes ma'am.

She's the nicest person on Earth but I think in a way she feels bad about selling alcohol to alcoholics.

She even told me once that she worried about me.

We've had a lot of small talk she told me what her name was once but I was too drunk to remember

I am kind of a strange drunk because I can be blacked out and yet act like I'm totally okay

I call them brownouts instead of blackouts I remember the encounter I remember the phone call I just don't remember the details.

Brown out

I managed to get my drunk ass out and vote today so I did something good today.

I got paid today and I paid all my bills.

I'm not suicidal I'm self-destructive.

I am just waiting for the day that I wake up and my eyes are yellow and then I know that I have succeeded

The CA lifestyle is, perhaps rightly, assumed to be one of pure misery. God knows I’ve had my fair share of it. My body and mind are fucked. I’ve ruined great relationships with pretty girls and loving friends because of alcohol. However, there are moments of abject happiness and peace. I’ve always really liked to term ‘frayed nerves’. But I’m drinking beer on the toilet rn hiding from work terribly hungover and I feel a total peace. Sure once I leave the stall it will be chaos again, but right now it’s a peace normies will never know. It’s a lovely silence, like sunshine on a dewdrop. God loves all of us, praise everything. The sun shines forever. Be glad be glad be glad. The song has no ending

Pour up a drink friends, and gather 'round to hear my tale.

Back in ye olden days when we were teenagers, my close friend, one of my top 8, (and crush) was a MySpace locally famous DJ. He was hired to spin at some rich kid's event, out in the valley, and asked if I wanted to tag along. Sure.

So I go, and I'm having an okay time, but this is a champagne and cocaine party and personally I'm a weed and red wine girlie so the whole vibe of the party isn't my thing and I'm not really partaking.

I end up in line for a bathroom, and there's a group of girls in there all getting super glammed up and changing into all white outfits. The room is a chaotic cloud of Victoria Secret perfume, clouds of glitter body powder, hair spray, the smoke and sizzle of a chi flat iron and above all the commotion, a dinner plate with several dozen fluffy pearlescent white lines and a rolled $20 passes from square tipped french mani hand to hand. Return to Tiffany's bracelets, the real deal, clinking against the plate.

All girls know how fast you become friends in the bathroom.

Next thing I know, I've got a flurry of makeup brushes flying at my face, hair being brushed and braided and yanked in all directions. One of the girls takes my ratty green military coat and tosses me a cropped white fur coat, it feels and looks like pomeranian hair but the lining feels expensive. "Here, wear this, you gotta wear white if you're coming!" "What? Going where!" She's rapidly tap tap tapping away on her pink bedazzled crackberry. "Puff's. He has these killer parties but you've gotta wear all white only or they won't let you in. They don't even card you like, if you aren't 21 or even 18. What size shoes do you wear?"

I couldn't just abandon my best friend to go party hop with girls I just met. Besides, I don't even like RnB or coke and I've got big feet. I politely decline.

We all part ways and I go on to have an entirely uneventful night after that, demurely pretending I don't hate the fizz of champagne. My friend notices my impromptu makeover, and stares at me just a few seconds longer as we say our goodbyes and he drops me off at my house.

And that's the story of how I came up on a fur coat with a nearly full pack of Nat Sherman's and $20 in the pocket, realized I was in love with my best friend, and narrowly avoided the diddler himself.

Oh fuck this is getting abit ridiculous I've cut down my drinking because my body made me cut down the bad smelling piss organ pain nausea I'm 24 and got a history of addiction alcohol is really bad only thing that's worse is dph btw when I'm not drunk or high I make my own edm music.

Good morning/afternoon/evening you miserable fucks!

Halloween is coming up Thursday and I'm not even excited about it. My neighborhood is made up of about 60% recently built McMansions and about 40% old 50's ranch style house. Old people like me own the ranch style houses and young couples with privileged kids live in the McMansions.

Decorations these days mean either inflatables or skeletons. At least with the skeletons, it takes some effort and imagination to pose them. Inflatables lack both effort and imagination.

My neighborhood has a street party for Halloween where if you want to give candy out to kids you set up a table next to the sidewalk with said candy. I guess it's too dangerous or too much effort to walk up to the front door and ring the bell?

I'm not going to hand out candy to these privileged kids.

Enough about me, time to share with us the pain and torment of your existence!

Denied your body Covid? I have it for the second time..... Enough alcohol and I completely forget. Tis a gorgeous thing for once ... Who knew. Also.... Shit sucks, I can't taste anything, fevers is in the middle rn........... But I haven't felt like death go lik four hrs now so I appreciate that.

How's you co n r of the world wherever you are? *Nope. You're corner of the world HA

Coming off a 4-day bender. Feeling like complete shit. Drank bottle after bottle of wine, vodka, beer, etc. Didn't eat almost anything for multiple days. Now I'm getting the panic attacks, restlessness, nausea, heart pounding, shaking, ass piss, exhaustion, etc. Last few days have been a hazy blur of events, people, conversations, etc. Feel horrible right now, trying to wait til 5 to have a drink but I don't think I'll last that long. Cheers, hope yall are having a better sunday than me!

Visited the dentist the other day after 3 years having not gone. She mentioned the rapid decay in my teeth in comparison to the past, definitely knew something was up other than not brushing enough. After all the bile I’ve thrown up these past years, I shouldn’t be surprised. Now I’ve got to spend a few thousand on fixing em up.

Why does drinking have to be so bad for every bodily function? I’ve finally got health insurance now after 3 years without, SO I figure it’s about time to start assessing the damage. Chairs

Mine is shit. Absolute shit. There’s nothing more irritating than being hungry and nauseous at the same time. Fuck, even brushing my teeth is a challenge. My gag reflex is all kinds of fucked up lately. Im embarrassed to admit the amount of times I’ve thrown up recently just trying to brush my teeth/tongue.

my job has been the best part of the past six months - I got to spend the summer working by my best friend while being surrounded by dogs, after years away and being in a seriously toxic relationship, the universe let me come home to my roots…

so why did I let my CA ruin it? I could have spent this summer reconnecting with her and her kids, seeing my own family after years, being a part of their lives, getting my shit together…but instead I just made rent and got drunk…and now I’m moving on to the next city and the only memories I have are what’s on my phone…. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this fucking hold that alcohol has on me…

Don't worry it's not about sobriety and it's going to be one of the hardest things I've had to do in a while

I have to lose about 15 lb in 60 days

That means I got to cut calories down to ~1100-1200 per diem

And that simply means there is not enough room for alcohol. Like you guys always said don't forget to eat right? Even though I hate eating stupid beer gut making me have to lose weight

But the bright news is that's just without exercise so if I burn 600 calories or so by spending an hour on elliptical that will earn me to possibly three ipas but yeah

So, I was supposed to get paid on Friday, but for whatever fucking reason they decided to delay the salary and now is the weekend so ain't getting paid, and yesterday I finished my last fifth of vodka and started making some genius plans for the day after. Therefore, having no other option, plus deciding not to beg like the hard working man I am, I set outside drunk as fuck collecting fucking plastic bottles and cans all night, for like the equivalent of 15 cents in that currency, just wandering the streets and grabbing empty cans and bottles left from drunkards, but at least it was Saturday night, so there were plenty of them. Anyways, I managed to collect like the equivalent of 10 bucks and returned them the moment the store opened at 7AM. After some thorough calculation, I decided the best option is to buy eight 500ml (sorry not familiar with weird American measurements, probably something like 18 sips) of some shitty ass beer for 1.25$ with 7.7% vol. So, now, I'm sitting here, drinking some awfully tasting beer and being satisfied with the community service that I've done, chairs!