I decided to play around with the fonts and ended up really liking this one, Viner Hand ITC. The default is MS Gothic, right?

It's been 6 years since I finished the series, and many things were left unanswered for me, one of these things is the entire otherworld sub plot, it seems to have a lot of influence over the story, Nagisa's play revolves around it, Kotomi's parents were studying it, it apparently has a connection to Tomoya and his family, and in the end it apparently revives Oshio and Nagisa, I understand some things but the entire thing is confusing, can someone explain it to me?

I just finished Clannad: After Story, and at the end it's clear Nagisa and Ushio lived. Episodes 17-21 depict events where Nagisa and later Ushio died, and then at the start of 22, Tomoya ends up back as Ushio's birth, where Nagisa lives. Were 17-21 just in his head, an alternate reality, or time travel?

padoru nagisa by me

Just a quick post to tell you after more than 15 years, Lia finally decided to add 'Toki wo Kizamu Uta' to Spotify, along with many other songs. It will be great not having to listen to covers!

Well, I am 17, and loaded my brain with literature/Philosophy/Psychology in a very early age, thanks to anime.

When I was younger, I had no idea that I would consume such a substantial amount of literature. It seems almost preposterous to me sometimes, like a fever dream...

It all started with a small boys wish to watch a animated cartoon, at the time of lockdown, I may say and not humbly, that I believe that I have a rare gift of intelligence and a lust for knowledge. From the outset, I have been intrigued by the study of human psyche due to my father's profession as a psychologist and the fact that my father has taken out the bodies of disabled children from the dumpster, and I have visited my fathers job many times now, unfortunately I have seen them, the children stares at me, while I walk pass by them, and I have stared at them too, such as Nietzsche said “if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes back at you”, I had begun to see darkness of the world, but I couldn't accept, that people would be this cruel, this heartless, and yet smile like nothing happened....

well, this is not a so called “Humans are inherently evil” type of post, so don't worry, this about how I started to become more “Human in more human sense”, or simply learned to appreciate life, literature, cinema, and art. If you had asked my opinion of these things while I was a kid, I would have definitely answered with shrilling voice and criticized them as meaningless and useless, only LOSER would enjoy such things, I would have said, and Yet here I stand as one of the biggest loser in the world, lol.

Anime, really changed me, as a person, so did those nights reading 1984, Animal farm, One hundred years of solitude, Lord of flies, crime and punishment, Brother Karamazov and In manga particular, Homunculus, Goodnight Punpun, Vagabond, Blame!, Usogui, Kingdom and many more...

Anime often times cited many books or authors, and they intrigued me, as a child with unrestricted internet, yet I couldn't grasp their importance or the essential meanings of the words, I couldn't understand what I was missing, to fully fathom these concepts, as I was a prideful and arrogant child, I couldn't tolerate that I was unable to understand something as simple and useless as literature, written by unemployed people, who had nothing to do better than waste their life writing such weak-minded bullshit, men who just wanted to give excuse their hardships.

And nearly at that time something happened, My family was plagued by corona, and unfortunately my father was the part of the statistic. I was devastated maybe broken, because at the time of funeral, I couldn't even shed a tear for my father, I was nearly ashamed of myself, but after some time the shell broke and I began to cry, but the darkness I spoke earlier, that I know existed, but refused to acknowledge, began to seep in.

My own family, after the death of father, my beloved uncles and aunties that I thought would help me to overcome my despair, My own grandfather, who I thought, loved me dearly, where the one who picked gauntlet, to completely destroy me, and so called my naive world view, After the funeral, They advised my mother, me and sis, to sleep on the cold ladden vehicle's lorry, because of limited place in the house. my mother, that day was shivering, and my sis was cold too, and yet I was so helpless, even then I believed my uncle and aunts, my grandfather and mother loved me, or cared for me................................................... lol.

if you want to hear more about my circumstances more, you can see my cringe post from little a while back ago https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/1dbr13v/what_should_i_do/

Well, anyway, to sum it up, Life happened.

Because of such incident, my life view has changed drastically throughout literal months, I began ponder what's even love? Does it even exist? I began to despise the concept of love, I found it as a cheap version of LUST , I found it meaningless, even worthless at that time. Life began to lose its color, now it was only a pallet of black and white.

But at that time I stumbled on some visual novel or a show called "CLANNAD".............

I had Weekend free, but didn't want to study, I didn't wanted to talk to the people, I was scared, scared of every little things. so to pass another meaningless day, I decided to watch Clannad, to escape, to run, to shut the noise in my mind, to be free of judgment, to believe there is nothing I can do, To be Helpless, To be Hopeless

I had heard clannad being a sad show, so, I thought it would feed my nihilism some more, some more time being the victim of the world, but clannad was a romance story, a contrast to my ideals of the bleak world, I knew it cannot penetrate my impenetrable heart, with its love is wonderfull bullshit, and other tropes such as *sairat* or a break up or unfullfilled love, I had seen them many times now.... Its Fuckin Impenetrable baby!!!

And you know what? Clannad was everything I expected, to the very minute details, but the problems was that clannad had a very tragic end, but I wasn't sad, I wasn't hopeless, I was happy, I was hopeful, love began to bloom in my impenetrable heart once more, this time not with ignorance and naivety but with care and knowledge. It was absurd to feel such things from such a unfortunate end, but why? why was it so beautiful, so fulfilling. I had no such answers, I turned to google, to Quora, to reddit for my share of answers, I found something called as Philosophical absurdism, A meaningful meaningless void, my whole existence I believed my life was meaningless and worthless, but maybe thats whats it is, to be devoid of significance, to be meaningless, to be alive.

The moments which I have lived until now, maybe be have been of insignificance and fleeting, but were my evidence of myself being real and free, and when I die, so does my insignificance.

"Meaning is a jumper that you have to knit yourself" ~James Alan

I had begun to read many books, a lot of literature from Fyodor Dostoevsky, Friedrich Nietzsche, Albert Camus, Jean Paul Sarte, Krishna(Bhagvad gita),Garbriel Garcia Marques, etc many more

I read psychology from Carl Jung, Sigmund Freud, Robert Greene, Daniel Kaheman, etc many more

I read self~help, which I found oddly waste of time, but quite of few, rare taught me something new. But otherwise I would recommend reading fiction, because it does better than self help, and gives you a example too.

I watched and read a lot of anime and manga respectively, which are absolutely lovely, and masterfully constructed.

and slowly but surely, I started to love art as a whole, meaninglessness as a whole, Many shows/literature gave curves to my passion of life, and I nowadays find practically everything very interesting or with the fascination of a child, Nowadays I like to live and I am more thankfully to be alive, and I have learnt to not take life seriously thanks to JOJOS Bizarre adventure, well I love jojos ,and would I like to tell the effect of this show on me but this rant, had been going for a long time now, lol, maybe another time or maybe not. I am able grasp that life is brimmed with fun things, and love is the greatest blessing to a man, to love a thing greater than himself is truly a virtue. Earlier in my life I despised the world for been this cold cruel to me, but now I am thankful because without it I couldn't been able to know the warmth of kindness.

But for FYI, I'm preparing for jee from this year, its been a lot of fun, I am a top ranker in institute. I think, If I am consistent like this, I would easily ace the exam but while writing this post, I realised, perhaps I do not want to be a engineer, I want to be something else, I do not want to work 9 to 5, but I want to do something I would Like to do 24 hours, I do not want a huge chunk of life working, and small chunk of enjoyment. lol, possibly I am a workaholic.

maybe I will be a writer?, lawyer?, psychologist?, Engineer?

but you know what? This thought is meaningless as well, because no matter where I end up, I know I will be alright!😊

Regards, My father.

(And I know no one cares) ( who cares I post something here, of my own free will, lol)

https://preview.redd.it/anvn2kx1yx2e1.jpg?width=3456&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=34eb57edc0809e218a4526882e19d81992715e95