So last August, I quit my job bartending at a brewery because of the way my manager treated me. She was awful, and it all culminated in this icky conversation where she alleged multiple people had complained about me, and said I was extremely disrespectful and unfriendly to the staff. When I asked her to be more specific, or give me an example, she flung her hand towards the door and angrily said “like today! You didn’t even say thank you when I opened the door for you”…..it was very clear to me nothing she was saying was true. And was coming from a place of her own issues towards me. And it turned out I was right, I later found out no one ever said those things. A bunch of other stuff happened that I won’t go into. I had a panic attack after she went off at me and quit without much notice, which I know isn’t ideal. But it’s what I had to do for me.

I was also the social media manager of the brewery, and told the company I still wanted to hold that role. Fast forward to now, and I still work for the company. But I’m on the Marketing Team now which I enjoy. It’s been almost a year and a half since I quit bartending and my ex-manager refuses to let it go. She tells the other staff I don’t work for the company anymore, even though I do. We put up Christmas decorations every year in the taproom with everyone’s name on them (this year it’s stockings) and she told the event coordinator not to make a stocking for me. Which may sound silly. But the event coordinator told me she said that completely unprompted. My name hadn’t even been brought up in conversation, and she randomly says don’t make one for me specifically? And when I come to the taproom to get content for our social media, she marches over to whoever I’m talking to and says hello to them without acknowledging me. Like some sort of power play. One of my coworkers witnessed firsthand her behavior, and said to me “she’s a grown woman acting like a little girl. A mean girl.”

We’re a company of less than 50 people, so we don’t really have HR. We sorta do, but they’re more just upper management. And an HR lady who is in NYC, and is technically HR? But we don’t even know her. When I spoke to management when I first quit, they basically did nothing. I don’t know what to do. I literally feel like I’m being bullied in plain sight. This woman majorly holds a grudge, and the more I get her in trouble, the more she retaliates against me. She’s been here since day 1, and I don’t think they have any intention of disciplining her. How do I go about this? Do I just quit? Do I say something again while risking making the situation worse? Should I still have faith that management will listen to me?…

I sent 12 photos in an iCloud message meant for my friend in a group chat to my old store manager and two other associates that I couldn’t unsend.

I live in Michigan

It was to my old assistant store manager who works at a new store now and two associates.

I wish I could post images but one picture was a man with a giraffe licking in his mouth and a man dressed as a woman, another man with ICP face paint.

Can I get fired for this?? I replied after I sent it and said “I'm so sorry, I did not intend to send this. My apologize please disregard.”

Update:

Here’s the conversation I just had with my old manager

Me:”Again I'm so sorry! It was a complete mistake.” Her: “I'm sure they didn't see it no worries It's their work phones they probably don't go on it at night” Me:”Is this something I could get in trouble forr?” Her”Oh wait nvm you can't delete them I tried deleting them” “I don't think so? Let me look at the photos It's you making fun of hinge people but I dont think its that big of a deal” “Don't worry about it just delete the chat” Me:”Okay thank you AJ. I'm sorry about that.”

So l'm from California, I work at a preschool, l've been there about 3 months. Monday is my first opening shift, (I usually do the afternoons) and I was told I had to be there at 700 to set up. However my shift doesn't start till 730. It's only a 5 hour shift, so I'll be done at 1230, but then I was told I can't clock on until my scheduled shift.. is this legal? I've never had this happen before?

I am a sub teacher and this past week there was one class when 2 students began to fight each other. I called the office for help and the SIAs came and immediately removed the students and I gave a written statement. Then I received a notice in the mail that the principal had written an evaluation report and said they watched the video back and claimed I didn't try and stop them from fighting by separating the students prior to them beginning to fight. In the letter it says I can make a written statement so that it will be attached with the evaluation in my file.

I am wondering if I should send back a note to be added so there is evidence of what I said in my statement I already gave? I would include the missing information that would not have showed up in a video the principal watched including:

1. As soon as I saw the students stand up I told them to back up and not touch each other
2. When they did not listen, I went to try and find an extension number for the office/SIAs by the phone but was sort of panicking and could not find it quickly
3. While I was searching for the extension, another student came up and asked for a pass to the bathroom and I told them they had to wait because the students were hitting each other and I needed to call the office (this student was aware of the fight and could see it)
4. After I made the call the students stopped fighting and sat apart and did not reengage with each other. The SIAs came later and removed the students, but when they arrived there was no fighting happening.

I see mixed posts about whether or not to write a "rebuttal letter" but in this case I would not be trying to say it wasn't wrong or didn't happen, I would just want the extra details in writing on file should something come up later. I have never spoken to this principal before and could find no procedures of handling of fights in any handbook of this district. Is this something I should send or should I leave it be?

My spouse is a medical resident who is currently on parental leave. They have had 2 months of leave and are going to be work from home on a research elective for the 3rd month.

They were told that they were not going to be scheduled for backup coverage (on call) and now with only one week before the research elective they are being scheduled for 3 weeks of backup coverage.

We scheduled childcare to begin in December after my spouse goes back to work full time and cannot move the start date forward. I work full-time for 11 hour days from 9a-8p.

Can my spouse take intermittent FMLA for the on call shifts if I am not available to care for my child?

At the beginning of this year minimum wage for fast food was increased to $20/hr and for my work place, this wage increase came with less hours. I was struggling to pay bills and thoight i was goign to have to stop attending the weightloss program I go to so they suggested doing a trade: I work in their kitchen on saturdays(they do meal prepping for some members) in exchange for free work out sessions.

Last month I was unable to go help one weekend because my work called me in because they were down people. The kitchen was also down people and the owner of the weight loss program called me and was angry that I was choosing my paying job over his non-paying job. When I pointed out that I was getting paid for working at my job he claimed "well this job is paid too!" But is it really? In my eyes this is not paid work because they are waiving a fee rather than putting money in my pocket.

I work at an animal shelter, our entire vet staff quit because of our CEO. He is currently being investigated for sexual harassment and bullying, but is not on a paid leave and has been working during the entire investigation.

I would like to go to the board and HR with all my documentation of animal neglect and documentation of him putting front desk staff and volunteers at risk since everyone left.

My issue is I’m scared because he is known for suing the shit out of people. And I don’t know who is loyal to him and will tell him what I have reported.

Is there anything I need to be aware about when reporting things ? I want to do what’s right but I’m also scared of repercussion’s

Just wanna ask some advice.

I'm a newbie in hr, I've been in this company for a few months. I'm thinking of quitting already due to the tremendous workloads even during my rest days. Tho I'm only assigned for now in timekeeping but I feel like I wouldn't be able to grow that much and would be too exhausted.

Again, there are many workloads so my senior still yet to teach me about computing the benefits. Tho they are thinking of hiring a new hr for that. The employees currently under our payroll are estimated to be around 250 to 300.

The process of our payroll includes asking the head of each branch to encode the schedule first, then ordering them to pass all of their forms and bio which they would send. After sending, I have to print all of that. The average number. of pages typically an employee pass is around 7 pages.

The timekeeping should only takes up to 3 days. Tho I need verify many things first to the different heads if there are some errors they encoded or written in the dtr of employees under them, which I think is time consuming. Another time consuming is when they forget to pass a certain form which I have to inform them as well.

After the timekeeping and encoding, I then have to photocopy each paper I timekeeped as I was told.

Just to add as well, even my senior is thinking of resigning, tho he's not yet fully sure but I've heard him saying that he is checking out job hunting sites.

I’m in Australia. My company is a subsidiary of a large corporate company. I learned 2 days ago that my company is being dissolved for parts essentially in phases over the next 3 months. I am the sole HR person we obviously that means I will be spending my next 3 months letting everyone go and then am expected to go in Feb after it’s done.

Here’s the kicker, I am nearly 3 months pregnant, no one at work knows yet as I had planned to tell them in December, I’m due in June. There is an opportunity for me to move to the parent company in an HR role which is very fortunate to transfer tenure for maternity leave eligibility which is pretty crucial rather then be unemployed at 6 months pregnant.

Now I’m trying to figure out how to play this and really need advice. My thought is I can try and push to transfer sooner to the parent company in December and do both roles to get the contract, but then when to tell them I’m pregnant? otherwise I have to wait till Feb to transfer which is possible my CEO won’t let me go until then. I’d only be working with them 3- 5 months depending when I could move so they’d need a mat leave cover so soon which they could reject me for. The role I’d be taking is also originally a mat leave cover for 12 months but they are changing it to a perm role for me, only for me to also need a mat leave cover. The company is super focused on increasing gender participation and for woman to stay in the workforce so I’d like to think I’d be ok and they wouldn’t decline me for it but I’m not naive enough to know that doesn’t happen every day to women. I’d be showing probably by later December and definitely in January so can’t hide it.

What do I do, how do I play this to try and keep paid mat leave through this. Because of my role I know what should happen obviously but know all too well the conversations that happen behind closed door about this that are discriminatory. Thank you for any advice!!

So this scenario has occured twice in my job hunt and both times that it happened, it just felt like a very challenging blow.

The hiring manager sarcastically said something like "yeah I can see that you have worn tons of hats over the years can you tell me a little bit about that and walk me through that?".

The reality of that is that I went through a career change.

What if I just said something like "yes there was indeed a period where I couldn't decide what I wanted to do. I did call center work for a few years and got a feel for a few different things. Then in 2020 I fell in love with XYZ industry, and began taking coursework to build my skillset"

How does that sound? Is that good/bad?

Hello,

Where I currently work is quite hostile and toxic, with the exception of my direct supervisor. I want to leave, have three weeks PTO accrued, but HR policy doesn't pay them out, and if I place a two weeks notice, I'm not allowed to take PTO either. My boss gave me the option to put in my three weeks, and on the day I'm supposed to return, just to submit my resignation to be effective immediately, and to state it's due to the toxic environment. I checked my contract and it's at-will and doesn't require a notice (Florida). Can HR or the company "get me" in anyway? Can they decide not to pay me? Can they demand the pay/time back?

We have a new employee that will be delivering items for us using their personal vehicle. They are also answering phone. The position is part-time and work from home. They will be coming in 1-2 times a week to pickup items for delivery then scheduling and delivering as needed. We were planning to pay hourly plus mileage but wondering it’s possible/legal to pay hourly for the answering of the phones time and then a per delivery fee?

[GERMANY] Me (22) and my best friend were working in retail in a very famous sports company for one year. I was definitely a high performer. I got the most customer reviews where I was named.

My best friend told me that our Manager (Lead) is harassing her sexually. Touching her privat parts during her; texting her to have sex at nights. Then she got abused at a bar (she was too scared to call the police). She went to an another manager and told him everything. The next she needed to work with this lead in the same department for the whole day. The Lead knew that she would say it one day. That‘s where she decided to quit this job. I supported my best friend and we went together to our boss to confirm her dismissal. We also spoke up about the lead assaulting her and also that the other Manager B didn‘t try anything to separate her from him the next days. My boss said that he would get fired but It would also take some time. She still decided to quit successfully. After this conversation she cried at the store and every coworker noticed. The Boss didn‘t care that much.

She went through the process with HR and he would get fired. BUT he would get a notice period for one month. In our country if you wouldn‘t get money you cant get unemployment money. Now the plot twist. This Lead is popular in our team. Every woman loved him. He actually has a girlfriend. Since day she was crying at the store I was also next to her cheering her up. I was included in this conversation. People spread this rumor that I did anything to fire him. Some female Manager completely ignored me at Work. My coworkers started to unfollow me on my socials. I didnt felt welcome anymore. I was also popular in my team and I was friend with everybody.

However I had a performance review with my Boss and Manager B. They loved my performance everything was Top. They also cheered me up for speaking up about this. My contract would end in one month and they PROMISED they would extend it and give me an unlimited one due to my performance. However I still felt ignored at work and people woulndnt even say hello.

I‘m and was taking therapy and my Boss and Manager B knew that I was mentally limited. In August I had my exams from University and they knew it. 1-2 Weeks b4 my contract would end I was asked to go the the room with my boss and Manager B. There were angry. They told me that they decided not extend my contract anymore. Reason: I was spreading rumors about the lead assaulting my friend which I did NOT. They didn‘t even ask me if this would be true. In my country when a contract is ended I wouldn’t get any notice period. So I would not have a job in 8 days during my exams. I took days off bc of them and my mental Health. Manager B called my an hypocrite for spreading rumors about the Lead. It really took my mentally down. I was scared for my existence.

I went to HR and they would have private investigators. I told them everything and now 2 months has passed on. Nothing happened and I still can‘t find peace within. I learnt all my lessons but I still feeling traumatized. I was mentally on my limits

Is there any HR violation I could go against them. Should I try to put pressure on HR? I want them to apologize and not only that. I want the Boss and Manager B to get consequences. I can‘t understand that I would get treated horribly for speaking up for sexual abuse. I don‘t get it why they would get away with playing with my existence. I was so naive that an company who stands for respect and woman empowerment is allowing this. doN‘t ask I dont let you Know the namE :)

My idea of work wear is generally on the more casual side as I’ve always prioritized comfort and believe that it’s the persons intellect that makes them a professional and not their appearance. However, I’m starting a new job and don’t want to make a bad impression. I have no idea what prevailing business style is. Khakis and a top nicer than a t shirt but not necessarily a blouse? Slacks and a blouse? I have no idea what I’m supposed to wear. 😅 Almost everyone I met in the office when I came in to interview wore jeans and at least 3 out of the 4 people I spoke to/interviewed with wore jeans as well. I just don’t want to assume I can do the same and show up under dressed like a moron. Please help.

• No Style Accountant

Hello everybody, I'm hoping to get some insight about what I should do about my assistant manager who is making my workplace a living hell. This might be quite long so please bare with.

I have been an employee for this company for over two years, and about 4 months ago a new assistant manager was hired, and unfortunately will be pretty much running the ship soon as my general manager is going to be on leave for a period of time (don't want to be too specific).

To try and cut a long story short, we have received numerous complaints from customers stating how rude, obnoxious and unprofessional he is, yet his attidude is just getting worse and i believe he's taking it out on all of us. I'm going to outline the main issues in bullet points:

• he shouts at my collegues in front of customers, to the point where they are asking my collegues if they are ok.

-Inappropriately touches this one specific girl who has continously expressed she does not feel comfortable with him doing so.

-My collegue overheard him making a racist remark about some customers (he has complained to the general manager about this but he has denied making those remarks)

• he has called one one of my collegues and a few customers "bitches" (not to their face) for literally no reason.

• he is making our job 100x harder because he is incompetent and does not know what he's doing (eg. not ordering enough stock, missing customer's orders) To make things worse he lies and does not take ownership for making those mistakes and blames others.

-commenting on other people's attire, making gross and sexual comments about customers.

-general passive aggressiveness and poor communication.

The list could go on and on. Me and many people have complained to the general manager about this SEVERAL TIMES but nothing has been done. He's not in work enough to even see for himself what is truly going on. Part of me thinks he is turning a blind eye because he is leaving soon. I have encouraged all my collegues to make a serious complaint with HR about all of this, but i think we have been hoping things would change eventually, and honestly, i think they might be scared. How can i go about this? I realise there is no "evidence" per se, so i question whether anything could be done.

I'm seriously considering looking for another job, but i really really dont want to. I can't stand hearing him sexualising our customers and shouting all the time. Has anyone got any advice?

Original post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHR/comments/1ggmm3o/mi_i_start_a_new_job_tomorrow_and_have_huge/

I started and I do not know where to start in this post. All I can say is shady and they want me to be full controller.

So, the majority of the staff is HB1 visa engineers. The paperwork states to USCIS states they are making the lowest hourly wage possible for a civil engineer in the area. So the people work 40 hours a week but only get paid for 66. The timesheets are submitted for 40, payroll changes them to 66. Completely illegal and they want me to sign off on tax returns.

Next, it's an S-Corp, 2 owners. One is stealing from the other, 1 shady, the other clueless (no financial knowledge, a sales person). A client came in paid $5k cash, shady took it in front of me. Told me it was "petty cash" so I went to record it. He states we dont record petty cash, we just capitalize the customers address on the invoice so we know its pais, then write off bad debt. I thought wtf. This happened yesterday and I didnt sleep and I have sharp pains in my temples today. This a-hole could completely set me up.

There are NO employee files, the secretary has 3 piles of papers from last 10 years just sitting out on a ledge behind her...socials, direct deposits, copies of DL and SS.

This is just a little of what I saw. I have an interview Mon at 1, if I get the job, I am gone, no notice. Any advice on what to do til I get out? My RENSA coach said I cant quit to go back on unemployment. I need to cover my behind.

Mom missed deadline to add dependents, can’t add them now

Hey everyone…

So my mom had a deadline of October 31st to add my younger siblings as dependents but missed it. (Trust me, I know)

Open enrollment began early November, but now she can’t add them as dependents.

I’ve never seen open enrollment not allow dependent modifications. Is that something they can actually do? Do we have any recourse?

I worked at my company for four years, during which I had a boss who was incredibly supportive. We built a close, respectful relationship—she even told me I was “like one of her kids.” She praised my work, promoted me to head of the team, gave yearly bonuses, and consistently encouraged my growth. I genuinely believed she was invested in my career.

Over the last year, she promoted me, gave positive feedback, and even laid out a path for me to become Director of BD, supporting me in pitching the role to the board. Then, three weeks before I was let go, she scheduled a “development talk” to discuss my future positioning, expansion of my role, and any collaboration or communication improvements. She framed it as a proactive, growth-focused conversation, with HR involved. But days before the talk, she informed me the managing director would be joining instead, and when the day came, the “development talk” abruptly shifted into a termination meeting.

In this meeting, she and the managing director informed me that the company would no longer continue our cooperation and that my contract would be terminated immediately. They claimed it was a “business decision” due to restructuring and said they needed a BD manager with a more data-driven focus (I later discovered they had given the role to a much more junior colleague whom I had hired, who is now working as a Business Intelligence Analyst). plus the fact that they did not think I would fit well with the merged team (many of whom I have known and occassionaly worked with for 4 years) due to "interpersonal deficiencies" that they think have remained ongoing - this astonishes me because while I appreciate not everyone loves you, nobody ever addressed this to my face and I never received an actual complaint about this from anyone. It hurt me when they said "people tend to avoid you and do not really like collaborating with you" and "nobody wants to share an office with you". Then again, when I got promoted or launched successful projects, not one person from that team ever congratulated me or acknowledged me (yet I did when the tables were turned around), Even if they did not think I would mesh well with the merged team, I am very certain that given my skill set and what I accomplished, they could have considered me in a different capacity.

The whole process felt like a deep betrayal by my own boss, both professionally and personally, especially since I’d built the BD team from scratch and always been promised input on any major changes.

During the termination meeting, my boss’s tone was surprisingly cold and dismissive. She didn’t say one positive thing about my contributions. Instead, she devalued the services I’d developed—services she had once championed. At one point, she even said, “Just because someone says thank you doesn’t mean they’re happy with you,”, "I see the input but what is the output?", which felt manipulative or a form of gaslighting, as if she were rewriting my impact to justify the decision. The only acknowledgment was when I mentioned going above and beyond, to which she simply nodded and said, “Yes, I know.” For someone who had been so supportive, this sudden shift felt shocking.

Afterward, I learned that, following the restructuring, they merged BD and Corporate Communications. She gave the combined role to someone she’d hired just three months earlier as Director of Corporate Communications, lets call her Lisa. Lisa has no proper experience in BD, had limited knowledge of the firm, and hadn’t built the relationships I had.

It’s now clear that this new Director of Corporate Communications had been involved in the restructuring discussions with my boss and the managing director. Months before my exit, Lisa told me she was “hearing a lot of voices” about me and that issues about me were landing on her desk and that I should be seeking a senior Partner to back me. Looking back, it feels like there was a coordinated effort that eventually led to my dismissal.

I was put on gardening leave for four months, and despite our past relationship, she never reached out for a farewell. I had expected some acknowledgment of my work, which she typically did for others, but there was only silence. No handshake, no goodbye.

I'm left questioning what changed so drastically. Was this her way of avoiding accountability? Did she hear something negative about me that shifted her view, or was this just a convenient narrative? I shared all of this in my exit talk with HR, expressing my concerns and feelings. In the end, I feel personally targeted and deeply disappointed by the coldness from someone I trusted.

Has anyone else experienced a once-supportive boss turning cold, distant, and even manipulative?

EDIT: Dear all, thanks for your inputs, please see below!

Hi, thank you for your comment and feedback. It is very interesting hearing people from the HR sub because it seems more negative towards me while my other post in the career guidance seems to be more balanced based on what others have said. But okay, maybe this is to be expected between HR professionals and people who were laid off. I did not mean to come across as someone who is so inept at being self aware or lacking the ability to be honest with oneself. This is why below I wish to provide you with some context.

Just to make it clearer. I worked in a professional services firm where you have the fee-earners, and, then you have business support. The business support helps the fee-earners. Within business support, there are sub teams. marketing, HR, accounting, etc. I was working in BD. With people from the fee-earner side, and some of the other business support teams, I had absolutely no problem with, we often met for coffee, lunch and etc. However, within marketing, there are a couple of people, whom never took to me 100%, who were professional with me but never personal. Yet, there are others in marketing who were open with me, friendly and asked me how my work was going. Those in marketing who did not really show much interest in what I did and etc, are the ones who were usually more distant towards me but are als the more influential people in marketing and have strong voices. I would make efforts to strike up conversations with them, ask them how they are doing, would remember small details about them, and even their children they sometimes brought to work or their pets. I actually made an effort to show them that I am no different, that I am not a one-man show and that I am just as grounded as they are. Bear in mind that there is a high fluctuation rate in that particular team as well, and from what I have heard, there is toxic behaviour in that team that makes others not feel very welcomed or integrated. In fact, the head of that team left a year ago because she could no longer trust her own employees. Since her exit, the marketing team was rebranded to corporate communications. I was heading the Business Development team. This was then, upon my exit, they merged.

I am by no means perfect and of course I have done a great deal of self reflection and I have seen a therapist since my exit. As an example, I remember a coworker once showing us a heat map of where online readers click on the website when reading our published articles. I noticed that none of our readers click on the contact box of the author of that article. I raised that question in a very calm and friendly manner "it would be interesting, going forward, to discuss what we can do to ensure that our online readers connect more with the authors of the those articles". Bear in mind, the authors are our internal clients. i.e. the fee earners. Looking back, I see how my question may have annoyed the person who was presenting, because she wrote to me on MS teams later that day to tell me "there is a place for asking such a question" even though I understood it was an educational workshop as communicated to me prior to that event and where one can exchange thoughts. Even though she told me this over Teams i.e. "there is a place to talk about this when discuss strategy"., she still went to her Head (i.e. Lisa) and the latter raised it with me the following day. She said "you need to be careful when you ask a question like this because it may overwhelm others, especially if they do not have the know-how you do. Your point was valid but maybe it could have been communicated in a different way".

Another example relating to another influential person in that team. She got promoted. I called her to congratulate her. I thought it would be a nice gesture from me because it would also provide a fresh start to renewed collaboration between her team and BD. I remember a few months later I said "hey its nice that we seem to be talking like this (we were both travelling to a conference). She responds "yeah, but we are different. I mean I remember you called me to congratulate me on my promotion which I think is nice but it showed me you care about titles and status. We do not really do it here that we call people up to personally congratulate them". And btw, I grew up in the same city as her and have as much corporate experience like her and have seen plenty of people personally congratulate the other person when they get promoted. I was quite surprised that she interpreted it this way because even though I thought I was doing something nice and i meant it, she took that gesture as me being "different" and thus this also meant she judged me and this affected her behaviour towards me,. Thus, she would remain professional but not personal. These are the people that would not give a "like" on LinkedIn if i post about the promotion but they do if others post. These are the people who give "hearts" in the group chat if someone communicates that they brought cake and left it in the kitchen, but if i bring them pastries, nobody reacts. If I invite them into a training session that I am holding, not one person says "hey that was an interesting event, thanks for the invite", but I do, if the tables were turned around. I just never got that warmth, no matter what I did.

I did a lot to not make some people in that team feel like I was "any different". Some people appreciated and actually were warm to me in that team, while others wanted to just remain formal. I get it, not everyone will like you and I am sure, I have flaws like anyone else and yes I did get therapy following my exit and did a lot of self introspection. Based on what the therapist said, she thinks that the issues were that the environment was not a healthy one and was never going to be able to accommodate people who really want to impact and make a difference like myself because this will unsettle other people and make them jealous. And that when certain influential people have a certain perception of with you and they have leverage over upper management with their opinions, it no longer matter what you have accomplished or what you can still do, its their voice over yours. With the limited resources I had, I built a service line that set us apart and I always involved and integrated other teams where necessary. This is not me trying to overstimate myself, but prior to my arrival, such services did not exist. I do not want to continue writing out other good things because you will say I am arrogant and overestimating myself.

As for Lisa, I tried probing for more answers but she was vague and told me she could not say what these "voices" were. I remember she said to me very quietly and was red in the face. Lisa had only been at the company for 4 weeks so it was strange how something like that would fall on her desk when I do not even report to her. She also added that she felt that "the MD does not really seem to connect with you or want to engage with you like he does with others, I feel like he is like that with me too, that is why since I cannot get through to him, I am seeing who can support me from within, and you need to do the same". She would even tell me whom she thinks in her team (i.e. now corporate communications) is manipulative and whom she is careful what she says around that person. That person is the person who was recently promoted as interim lead and whom I also personally congratulated!

On the one hand, Lisa was telling me what to do on the other hand she was already in the loop on discussions regarding the restructuring of my service line. Since I trusted my boss and we were always very transparent with one another, I assumed she would let me know if serious discussions / issues relating to me were up in the air but I assumed "no news, good news" - that was always the case between her and I.

Even 3 months before my exit, I found it strange that Lisa told me that she had asked my boss if she can have my office because she wanted to relocate some of her team members and ensure they are all operating on one floor. I later find out my boss had signed it off without even consulting me. Yes, she is the boss, but I thought as a matter of principle, she would give me a heads-up. So, instead of being too emotional about it, I suggested that Lisa and I can share an office thinking that this would only benefit the collaboration between both teams.

My question regarding HR was whether they will forward my concerns and complaints to my boss and the MD following our exit talk. I had a separate exit talk with HR. That was my question whether HR can do anything to forward my complaints.

I agree that it was not the decision of my boss, but it could have still been handled differently in a more dignified manner. There was no need for her to manipulate and try and make it seem like I was suddenly so redundant and to devalue my contributions. It was about HOW she did it, that is my point. I understand it may have been difficult for her too, but after 4 years and how I would run through a brick wall for her, I expected a bit more gratitude, even in the context of dismissing me.

So, yes, of course I am not saying it was entirely their fault, but a lot of the supposed issues or interpersonal deficiencies could have been mitigated much earlier and more transparently. I would have been happy to sit in a room with all those who have an issue and to lay it out and have a solution-oriented approach. I hope you understand my perspective too. There seems to be no culture where people openly address issues under four eyes. You hear about gossip and complaints via other channels. This is something that even HR and my boss said is a problem within this specific company. They even openly said "there is too much of a gossip culture here". Many thinks at the workplace can be solved and misunderstandings / misintepretations happen frequently, so, why not sort it out like adults instead of letting things fester before it gets too late?

I’m currently on medical leave due to psychological injury from sexual harassment I experienced in the workplace. I sent an email to HR outlining what’s happened. HR are saying no investigation can begin until I am back from leave, because they must interview me in person. I am a remote employee and live a few hours away from the office, and I don’t know if I feel comfortable returning again given what happened. Is this the correct procedure? If I don’t return to work, does that mean they drop the case?

HR is also failing to provide information about taking a long term medical leave of absence. I’ve asked twice for them to point me to the policy about my rights, and they have refused to discuss until I am back from leave. Is this in line with my rights?

I’m the only female in a 25 Eng team in a series D startup in New York. I joined the firm a year ago, and was the only engineer working on two vertical products for six months. I had almost zero support from manager, and at the end of six month, I got a pay raise and got informed that would start to report to another manager instead, who supposed to better manage the team with proper work assignment etc. Ever since then, I only had five 1:1 in total (not on regular basis, all upon my requests), and my skip manager formally informed everyone to direct work to my manager instead of coming directly to me. Yet no work has ever been assigned properly from my manager, I gradually lost all resource and work. On our fifth 1:1, my manager threw a pip doc in my face, listing out all the “incidents” caused by my wrong doing, all of which, he was involved from first place yet looked like I’m the only one to blame for. Even during my first week in pip, my manager didn’t reply a single message from me, and after reporting to our HR, he started writing on all our conversation and giving me hard time during code reviews etc.

Our team is mostly Caucasian men, and upon talking to other engineers on the team, three people in total got put on pip around same time as me. And after more investigations, all the minority (non white) engineers seem all at some point got a pip document from the management- some of them resigned already, and some due to visa and other reason chose to grind and stay.

Our company CEO and CTO are married, CTO’s brother is the main IC on Eng team, and CEO’s mum is working on accounting team. The current head of HR is actually CFO, which is also close to the “family groupie”. Our last official head of HR decided to quit four months after joining the firm.

I’m currently on H1B visa, but I just got married weeks ago and my partner is US citizen. I guess visa won’t be a big concern for me if I just resign, yet I think I should do sth since there are other minority / ppl on visa on the team, and everyone gets somehow “abused” by the management. There are six more days left on my pip, shall I resign before pip ends and complain to HR, or stay till last day of my pip if I get fired then i file complain to EEOC? I was thinking file gender discrimination, yet looks like may also fall into category of gender / racial discrimination in general. Happy to hear ppl’s thoughts on this

I'm currently interviewing for three different manager positions. All of my interviews have gone very well so I'm wondering how much time I have to consider an offer before they will move on to the next candidate. If one of the companies makes an offer, should I reach out to the other companies and let them know that I have an offer on the table to see if they would like to make an offer at that time?

Hello all! I’m currently an (unpaid) intern at a place where youth are treated for psychiatric conditions so I have to work closely with a lot of mental health therapists and the like.

The other day I went to a senior therapist who is also a manager of a department and after he asked me how I was doing he somehow saw it as a window to tell me about his weight loss journey and how in the process of losing weight and look I don’t know why he told the story the way he did but he opened it up by sharing his sister and a woman came to his house and that the woman could not stop staring at his shirtless body, his crotch, that this made him feel sexy. And he would randomly interject in the conversation, “I’m telling you this as a brother, don’t think anything of it.” And I was like “okay :)” because I’m an unpaid intern and I don’t have any class in the space. He also told me that I didn’t have to hide my body and that it was okay if I was beautiful regardless of my weight. The whole conversation felt like psyop sexual harassment but I’m also not sure if I’m overreacting because I was actually previously in a terrible situation where one of my previous supervisors sexually assaulted and harassed several employees, including me and went to prison for an act of sexual violence later on after I left that job. I just feel so sad if this is indeed something to be worried about because I don’t want to believe it’s happening again.

I am an associate director at a company. There was a company dinner in which about 50 people were invited to discuss the 5-10 year goals of the company.

At the dinner I noticed one of our team leaders wasn’t there. Multiple individuals noted her absence but assumed she had other plans for the evening.

Emails and Teams messages went out after about how awesome it was to get everyone together and how excited everyone was for the vision to unfold, and this leader was included on those emails.

Something was telling me something was wrong and I reached out and asked why she wasn’t at the meeting. She didn’t want to tell me anything to avoid drama, but eventually told me it was because she wasn’t invited. She had a conversation with the director who organized the meeting a few days prior and he asked if she was going. She said she had mentioned she noticed she wasn’t invited so she wasn’t planning on it and he told her he didn’t think she was invited and didn’t feel she needed to be there. This is a team lead who goes above and beyond and is one of our highest performers and I can’t find a reason why she would be the only person not invited when even the secretaries who will have little input on company direction/goals were included. She is everyone’s go to and is well loved.

She has asked me not to make a big deal out of it and has assured me she is ok, but I know that’s not the case. I thought about having a conversation with the director who put together this event about workplace exclusion, team culture and bullying. I am leaning towards getting HR involved so there is a paper trail and accountability. Thoughts? Ideas on approach?

I was placed on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) for "attention to detail," despite having previously received "great" performance ratings. While my manager was on leave, we switched to a new in-house scheduling software that was buggy and not ready for deployment, which disrupted my routine. I have ADHD but hadn’t disclosed it, as I was managing well with the help of my ADHD coach. The new system caused some minor entry errors that didn’t affect delivery or revenue, and I was actively working to correct them.

During a check-in, my manager noted some unusual mistakes and asked if anything had changed. I explained my struggles with the new software and that I was addressing the errors. A couple of weeks later, a large customer canceled a $4,000 delivery for reasons beyond my control. Due to the company’s push to meet performance targets, I was placed on a PIP, which raised concerns about my attention to detail and included a complaint about my professionalism. This complaint mentioned that I had answered a question typically handled by someone else and that I wore a jacket with a partner company's logo during a Zoom meeting.

When I asked my manager for specifics regarding the professionalism remarks, they stated they couldn't provide details because the information had been relayed weeks or months earlier. This left me feeling anxious about my career.

I disclosed that I have ADHD and had been managing well without accommodations, but the new software was particularly challenging. I mentioned that I was working with my medical provider on support strategies. My manager asked if I needed accommodations, and I indicated that I was still exploring options with my therapist.

An HR friend advised me to request accommodations such as transcription for meetings, written agendas, and time for questions after presentations. They also noted that my PIP was poorly written, lacking specifics and measurable goals.

I reached out to my manager for clarification on the PIP and the metrics for success. In our next meeting, my manager mentioned discussing my accommodation requests with the CEO and stated that I would have one-on-ones with two other team members for support.

I feel it's inappropriate to involve so many people in my process, particularly regarding my personal medical information and HR issues. Am I correct in thinking this is too many people to involve and that my privacy is not being respected?

I (male) am in the interview process for a low level executive role. I already made it through 1st round interviews and have a 2nd interview scheduled. The position is a significant increase in both title and salary for me. Their timeline for hiring is very aggressive, wanting the position to start in January.

There lies the problem: My wife and I are expecting our first child within the 90 day probationary period. I know I won't be eligible for FMLA since I will be employed for less than a year at the position.

Should I disclose to this employer that we are expecting a child during the interview process? Should I wait to see if the role is offered to me before disclosing, and seeing if they're willing to be flexible with time off? Any advice is appreciated!

Am I still being considered?

I received the following email…

Thanks so much for reaching out. I am so sorry for the delay in the process; things are moving through Human Resources, and I hope that we can wrap it up in the next week. Thank you for your continued patience. I do hope you are doing well!

Am I still being considered? Is she just being kind? Would you reply to someone if you weren’t going to hire them??

Let me start with the direct question I am looking to have answered: How should an employer handle an employee who has "pain" that prevents them from fulfilling the full scope of their job description?
Most especially, if the employer doesn't really have enough "light duty" tasks to keep this person busy and on payroll and actually contributing to the business.

Back story: I am a small business owner with an employee who has reported injuries and physical pain as a result... let me be clear, NO they are not work-related injuries and NO they didn't occur on the job site.
So first it was knee pain that they got checked out by an ortho who recommended physical therapy which they have been doing 2x per week, scheduled in the middle of the work day.
Then they got into a car accident and suffered back pain as a result. Nothing too serious, just rest and heating pad etc. for 2 days but I gave them 3 just because the third day was a Friday so I figured just take the day, rest up and heal up over the weekend, and come back fresh on Monday.
Well that was this past Monday and now we still have back pain on top of the existing knee pain getting treated with physical therapy and basically this person reports they cannot do any of the tasks throughout the day which are in their Job Description. As I said above, I really don't have enough light duty tasks to hand off to this person to keep them busy while they are in pain, I just don't. If I were to create light duty tasks for them, it would really just be busy work that doesn't actually contribute to the company. I am not a multi-million dollar business with plenty of funds for payroll... I need to be sure that everyone collecting a paycheck provides value and contributes to the positive direction of the business. I feel bad for this person on a personal level because it's like they just can't catch a break, but this is my livelihood, too.

So from a Human Resources perspective, what should I do?

My former employer is practically Netflix worthy. A healthcare facility not following laws, violating patient and employee rights. We’re in the middle of pursuing litigation for multiple employees, yes multiple, it’s that bad.

One employee is still working but they’re stacking allegations as a means to prove misconduct; they don’t want to pay unemployment as so many of us are on it due to being terminated for not legitimate reasons; hence the stacking. The allegations being made against the employee are a stretch and HR is meeting with employee multiple times over the same materials for the same instances dated the same days. The employee refused to sign documents, but what else can they do?

Any tips would be appreciated.

I do not intend to stay in this industry so I don't see this biting me in the ass in terms of retaliation, but I've never shared negative feedback around an individual before and am considering it. I've suffered a lot working with a Director who is not my manager but who I've had to engage with significantly. I am an IC. It's actually a huge reason why the job is no longer sustainable for me and has caused significant physical and emotional stress . While I have a long list, key instances include:

1. Informing me of hires and decision-making when she wasn't supposed to unsolicited (closed door leadership discussions).
2. Letting me know of a termination that was happening like....6+ weeks before it happened (of my good friend - she didn't know we were close). I had to watch my friend stress as she was thrown under the bus and feared losing her job as I watched the narrative that was made for her unfold.
3. Bragging about how she got my former boss fired. She also complained to me about her own direct report's issues (who she subsequently fired a quarter later).
4. Making passive aggressive remarks or direct insults re: past employees and regarding my own Department regarding skills and behaviors (in group meetings too)
5. Saying in front of my manager things like "She totally said something that upset this person or rubbed them the wrong way" when there was no evidence and the person never said anything. Merely to shame/ridicule me? I honestly don't know. Multiple instances of this even though I'm a high performer.
6. Asking me about my boss and how he behaves as if she's going for his job - "Does he just stand around and even DO anything at conferences?"
7. Telling me my boss doesn't advocate for me behind the scenes.

It's relentless and exhausting. I can't assume positive intent here because the comments she'll make aren't constructive. I'm on edge 24/7 and avoid interactions as much as I can.

I confided in a co-worker who validated that multiple people have struggled to work with her in general, several brought to tears on multiple occasions. I believe she has too much power to really have the company do anything.

Q: Is ANY of this even worth sharing? Does anything rise to the level of liability to the company where they'd care, or just simply "toxic and immature?"

Please help. My partner informed me I may be experiencing wrongdoing at my job. I am terrified and starting to spiral. Excuse my ignorance and mis-phrasing of items as a lot of medical and HR terms are new to me. I'm not ignorant of HR rules, I've just never had any direct reports that required accommodations. We do have an incredible HR department, but I'm scared to reach out to them in fear of possible retaliation from my boss if they confront them.

I am an employee in a management position at a car dealership. I don't know if it is safe for me to reveal any other details surrounding my workplace.

I started therapy just under 6 months ago at my partners request due to ongoing struggles they noticed that were (now, to me) obvious signs of ADHD. Lo and behold, after 3 months of therapy sessions and screening, I was diagnosed with * acute * ADHD and was forwarded to general care to start a medication regimen.

I did inform my boss and even his boss of my diagnosis and medication. Since the medication, my quality of life has improved immensly. I cry at times when I think of how long I've gone without therapy/medication and how much easier my life could have been had I turned to professional help earlier (multiple decades)

Due to my hectic work schedule and logistics, I have to plan any kind of therapy or Dr.'s appointment on my scheduled day off typically 30+ days in advance. My scheduled day off has been the same for the last 3 years. I have one coming up that I scheduled almost a month ago for my scheduled day off, and now I'm being told by my boss I might have to miss it due to under-staffing and bad scheduling. My "normal" scheduled day off that week was shifted to another day to provide coverage. I was not informed of this until recently, and now I am at risk of missing my follow-up appointment to assess dosage, progress, etc. This appointment also doubles as a visit to get the Rx for my meds, as they are non-refillable, and I have only enough to get me to one day passed the appointment. I have checked with my doctor, and the soonest I'd be able to reschedule the appt is 3 weeks after my original appt date. I already missed my therapy session this week due to the reasons mentioned above, but I'd like to think I'm a team player, so I figured I could get by.

But my meds. I can't go 3 weeks without them. The thought of falling back into my un-medicated state is giving me panic attacks, especially since I've made so much progress in 3 months. My excitement to continue my therapy and medication is deflating quickly while writing this.

I begged my boss to allow me to be gone from work for ONLY the appointment, and I would return immediately after, missing only 1.5 hours of work. I even tried to compromise by offering to cover the closing duties of my coworkers for the two days following the appointment (closing duties typically mean 11-12 hour days. It's not fun, but part of the job). And they told me in a text they "would look at the schedule and get back to you."(me).

After expressing my fears and frustrations to my SAH partner, they told me after a quick Google search something about the ADA and how ADHD falls under it. I don't know what to do. I'm off tomorrow, and my boss said they would call me then with an update. After some basic research, I'm being led to believe I shouldn't even have to offer a compromise to go to my appt. Any advice is much appreciated. Even if it's not in my favor, I have to know what my rights as an employee are.

Thank you in advance.

Edit: grammar & punctuation

Edit: removing gender.