My AP and I have been seeing each other for almost a year. He’s not my first, but I think I’m his longest-lasting AP. Every few months, we plan an overnight in a different city—dinner, drinks, a movie in bed, and lots of sex. It’s frequent enough to keep me satisfied, but not so much that it raises suspicions with our spouses.

We had another trip recently, and, as usual, it was a blast. We both got very drunk, but this time we ended up discussing some pretty private topics—things I think we both intended to keep to ourselves.

I was diagnosed with depression and PTSD 10 years ago, from an abusive relationship in my early 20s. Antidepressants have really helped, and my AP knows about it, though I haven’t gone into much detail. But after a few drinks, I ended up opening up about everything—my concerns and thoughts with getting off SSRIs, issues with my SO (pregnancy, foster care), physical abuse, and other personal things I meant to keep private.

He opened up about his own mental health struggles, including PTSD from the military. He shared details about his marriage (without badmouthing his wife), why they're not intimate, and his family’s issues with pregnancy and miscarriages. He also told me details about his past failed relationships and affairs.

We lightened the convo by discussing things like careers and goals, finding each other, etc. Then went upstairs and had sloppy drunk sex, that I honestly can't remember too well - just remember us using toys for the first time together. We woke up, had more sex, and went about our day - he had a work meeting pretty early the next morning. He said it would be the last time I see him until after New Years.

When he left, I felt like I had overshared and might have made him uncomfortable. I was also embarrassed about not remembering much of the sex. As a private person, I felt out of my element opening up. I texted him to apologize, but he reassured me that he enjoys our conversations and felt he had overshared too, which I didn’t mind.

I’m mostly airing this out because I feel embarrassed and ultra vulnerable. I shared more with him that night than I've shared with some of my close friends. Not to mention, I cannot remember a lot about the sex - so I have no idea how weird or disgusting I was. Though I know I didn't puke and he was also extremely intoxicated. I know I'm probably just overthinking all this and in head, but limited contact over the holidays doesn't help of course. I guess I'm not even really expecting advice here, but just somewhere to put my thoughts. 🥲

I’m a 43-year-old white guy, fun at parties, but a guy nonetheless. I’ll start by acknowledging my history. I’ve cheated in the past, and most of that was tied up with substance abuse. Alcohol, pills, you name it. I was a mess, and I’m not proud of it. I’ve been sober for 5 years now (yay me), and I know I’m in a better place overall. But I’m here because I’m wrestling with something.

I’ve been married for 15 years, and the thing is, we’ve always been a bit off in terms of desires. I’m the guy who wants it all the time—my wife, well, whenever she feels like it, which is maybe once a month. Now, I’m not complaining, just giving context. She’s amazing, but I can’t ignore that I’m starting to feel a hunger I haven’t had in years.

Here’s the thing—I would never cross lines with another parent. I’m not looking to complicate things with families or mix that in with my own. Work could be an in, but it just feels...well, like work. The idea of starting something, meeting someone, and all that feels like I’m just navigating a minefield of judgment and shame. And yes, I’m fully aware of the fact that I could just communicate better with my wife—trust me, I’ve tried. But the way things are, I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out on a need that might never be fully met at home.

I feel this itch and it’s starting to get louder. The idea of being a “piece of shit” keeps echoing in my head every time I even think about it. I’d love to hear from others—those who’ve been in similar situations, dealt with shame, or wrestled with the idea of stepping outside a committed relationship. How do you balance that need for exploration with the guilt that comes from straying? How do you even dip your toe in when you’ve got so much baggage?

I appreciate any advice or insight, and I’m sorry if I’m not following proper formatting—I’m new here and not really sure what I’m doing. Thanks for hearing me out.

TL;DR: I’ve been sober for 5 years, but I’m starting to feel like my wife can’t meet my needs anymore. I’ve cheated in the past but want to avoid any drama with other parents. I’m stuck with this guilt and unsure how to move forward. Any advice?

My AP and I kept things going for 9 months. It became more than an affair. I fell head over heels. We both separated from spouses and I thought we both wanted to pursue a future together. I was being played and strung along the entire time. He used me to get out of his unhappy marriage and to just kill time. We both made it very clear that we were monogamous with each other. I was in love and truly thought I had found the man that was made for me and that I could spend the rest of my life with.

He calls me one morning to tell me that he can’t do it anymore. I respect his decision and remove him from all platforms of contact.

A few days past and someone sends me a screenshot of him and his new girlfriend. A week passes and someone tells me about how they moved in together. I never heard of this girl and I’m truly confused. We talked every single day all day and say each other every chance we could. Which wasn’t a lot because we were still trying to keep everything private for a little while longer.

It was all for nothing. The uprooting of families, the roller coaster. Every single bit of it was for nothing. I didn’t pursue him.. he pursed me. And I begged him over and over to leave me alone because he was going to hurt me. He told me he couldn’t live without me. That he needed me. He abused me mentally more than I ever thought possible. During this time, I have come clean… I had to start medication for anxiety and I constantly feel like I have no control.

It has been 2 months now and Im still broken. I just want to be able to close the chapter and it not being be to effect me anymore. I do believe in karma and I do believe that we get what we deserve. I don’t want to play victim to the situation. I mean.. the man I was having affair with was cheating on me I with someone else.. go figure.

I’m human and have a heart and the emotional damage just feels like something I’ll never be to get over. Currently 79 days of NC.

I have a dead bedroom at home because I refuse to have sex with my husband. I still identify as HL because when I've had affairs, I'd fuck my AP for hours. But I also cannot get myself to fuck my husband.

I feel so incredibly awful about this situation some days but I also can't get force my body to have a response towards him. I've been in therapy and tried to come to the bottom of this situation.

I've been married for over 2 decades now, our kids are teenagers. Despite the 20 years of being together I have never really felt loved. He has been an excellent provider, good father, a good husband too but I've never really felt LOVED. To think of it he has never made an effort to understand what I need, what I like and when I've tried to communicate that, he's just brushed my needs aside. This is all something he has admitted to as well, that he chose to dictate the terms of the marriage and did infact disregard pretty much any version of effort that didn't align with his thinking.

When we did have a sex life, it was mediocre at best. I could never orgasm and he didn't give a fuck about it. I just lay there waiting for it to be over while he did whatever he wanted to cum.

I don't know what answer I am seeking but sometimes I just sit there thinking about this man I married who is dying to get his hands on my naked skin, he craves me physically and I am just unable to give. Even when I try, I just freeze and my body cannot respond. I can barely breathe.

It's a very disappointing feeling to share your life with someone who really never felt the urge nor the desire to love you.

I’m looking for advice about something that’s really confusing me. A year ago, I (F23) met a guy(M28) through a mutual friend. We spent one amazing day together, but I had to leave for my final year of college, and he moved to California for work. After that, we talked every day for hours, and we really hit it off. He was so generous and attentive, and he told me I was “the one” for him. He even wanted me to move to California after graduation and helped me get an interview with Deloitte.

Then something happened. His ex from Chicago sent him a positive pregnancy test. He and his ex had already broken up when I met him, so he was single at the time. He called me drunk, told me about it, and sent me their texts. He sounded devastated. In our culture, having a child out of wedlock is a huge taboo, and his family, especially his mom, pressured him to marry her immediately. He kept telling me he loved me and didn’t want to do it, but he had no choice. I told him goodbye and blocked him. For weeks, he kept trying to contact me, calling from different numbers and leaving messages, but I didn’t respond. A year went by, and on my birthday, he somehow sent me a gift and a message saying he still thinks about me every day.

Fast forward to now—I’m planning to move to California for work, and since he’s the only person I know there, I reached out. He was thrilled and kept saying he couldn’t believe we’d see each other again. He helped me figure out the move, even got me a plane ticket and an Airbnb so I could visit and explore the area.

When I arrived, he picked me up with flowers, took me to a nice dinner, and showed me around. That night, after a few drinks, he tried to kiss me. I freaked out, and he immediately apologized, saying he never wanted to make me uncomfortable. He got on his knees and told me how much he loves me, that he thinks about me constantly, and that I make him happy. He admitted he even thought about visiting me in Chicago just to see me again.

The next day, he came back early with food and apologized again. He spent the entire day and night just talking and cuddling with me he told me i am the only person for him and he can only be happy with me and they broke up for a reason before the pregnancy saying he wants to fix his situation with his wife and be with me But even if i dont want to be with him , he still wants me in his life because I make him happy.

I don’t know how to feel. I loved him before, but I’m scared to fall for him again if it’s all lies. Is this a normal experience with men who are married? I’m so confused. I dont know what to expect or hope. Part of me was hopping the marrage never happend but it did. I need a reality check cause i think me head is clouded cause i like him and i cant make a right judgment call. I also read about being misstresszoned on here and i dont want that

I (29F) cannot stop thinking about hooking up with my married boss (50M). I’ve worked with him for a few years and have always been rlly physically attracted to him even before he was my boss (he used to be only a coworker) We’ve started workin more closely together and I can’t help but to let my mind wander. He makes flirty jokes, winks, lots of eye contact. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over 5 years and he’s great. I’m conventionally attractive with a good figure and the boss is a little fat, but still hot for his age. I’m tryin to stop thinkin about him but I also secretly want to fuck him and never tell a soul for as long as I live. I don’t wanna ruin his marriage and I’m not gonna pursue, but if he grabbed me for a secret quickie idk if I would turn him down. I know that will never happen so I think I just need to stop thinkin about him… somehow

Given my username this will be hard to believe, but a week ago my AP was upset that I am not as romantic as I should be. She made a post about it. She ended her post with no DMs and even edited it to make it even more clear.

To the 130 to 150 men who creeped into her DMs, thank you! You drove her right back into my arms. Two days later we were rolling around on a blanket on the beach during lunchtime making out like teenagers.

I’ve had a series of well hidden affairs for the last ten years. And I’ve never creeped into a woman’s DMs like that, nor made gross nor manipulative comments on a woman’s post. I prefer chivalry to guttersnipery.

But thank you, men of adultery, for breathing more life into a relationship that was ending. I may not know her birthday, but you presented to her a landscape so bleak without me, I was instantly transformed into Shah Jahan building the Taj Mahal for Mumtaz brick by brick. So thank you.

https://imgur.com/a/djWhQTl

My girlfriend and I just had an amazing couple of overnights in a cabin in the mountains. We only spent a minimum of time on the old dirty Reddit here.

We both questioned this concept of no contact, seeing as we doubled down and got together for an amazing getaway just last week.

Is no contact a way of APs torturing each other? Is it simply saying that you don't have the mental bandwidth to send a couple of messages here and there? Is it a form of ghosting that allows you to come back in a couple of weeks if you want to?

Explain this to us like we're 5 years old, though I feel that we did this holiday season better than those of you that chose no contact.

Opening at a theater near you. If Nicole has to cheat on Antonio, what the hell are you second guessing yourselves about?

https://youtu.be/z3Hmpa1mgKQ

My (33f) AP (40m) told me tonight he should’ve never gotten involved with me while he was in a relationship. Morally he’s right. But I’m so hurt and take this as he’s finally done with things. He first turned things sexual on Thanksgiving ‘23. Primarily lots of sexting, pictures, flirting. We also became friends through being in a weekly social group that meets.

We only had sex twice back in March after spending a weekend together for an event. We’ve tried to have sex a few more times since but plans fell through. He’s always been incredibly hot and cold. For example, back in October he said that he likes me but can’t do anything again right now. Or he can’t keep being unfaithful to her. But then he will wonder why I’m not going to our group events, and will send a stray text asking if I’m okay.

Three weeks ago, he was being cold for a few days, as usual. Out of the blue he texted me “are we getting dinner tonight?” So then we went to dinner that night, on the same day as his girlfriend’s birthday btw, and he asked me to have sex but I declined because I was on my period. Two weeks ago after I texted him about going cold and not sure where things stand, he sent me a dirty picture and talked about having sex. Two days later he was silent and saying he was going through shit. Last week his girlfriend went through this phone and found him texting someone just saying he is unhappy. Nothing sexual or anything with me though. She kicked him out of her house for a few days and then took him back earlier this week. Now that he’s back with her he blocked my number and told me we can only talk through a chess app we play together on. Since then he’s been incredibly short, cold, and when I mention I know he doesn’t want talk to me he will then ask me a question. I feel like right now that he’s trying to get back in good graces with his girlfriend, he wants to be a good boyfriend and ignore me and make me feel bad for wanting some emotion or attention. I’ll try to address issues I have and it will always be turned around as like I’m too sensitive or needy. “Or I’m not entitled to information or anything.”

Idk if I’m wondering if this is common for AP’s to say this but they don’t want to end things? I know I sound desperate but I just wish things could work and we could be together physically again. The hot and cold that can change literally day to day is torture. I’m starting counseling in January with my husband because he knows about me having an affair. But idk what to think. Any perspective would be helpful.

Edit: some grammar and clarification points

Simply had been having absolutely rubbish sex, which lead me to believe I wasn't interested in sex at all.
It's absolutely shocking that out of all the guys I have been with in my life, only my ex boyfriend from when I was 15-18 years old, and my AP who I met two months ago, I did not have any satisfying sex at all. All the ex boyfriends, one night stands, flings, so on were fun at best (but not orgasming, or having a really mild orgasm from me stimulating myself) and either cringe or sometimes painful at worst!
I thought in general sex was like this, simply it was just I was unfortunately finding guys who just weren't good at sex at all.

Hi, just wanted to ask the veterans of this what advice they could give me? I’m 29 M who’s currently in a marriage for 5 years and it hasn’t improved for me despite all the communication, counselling etc.

I’m not looking to leave my relationship as we all have our reasons not to. But I have had emotional APs in the past (one I met through work) and I’d never been happier or felt more like myself than I had with them. That ended because she ended up falling for someone else and not wanting to cheat any longer.

So here I am nearly 2 years after that experience and I am ready to find a new AP, but I’ve only just discovered this community on Reddit so any advice on where the best places are to seek other like-minded individuals either through apps or other subs. Many thanks :)

I started this journey at 31, and I am now nearing 36. I had one pretty horrific (in retrospect) affair that lasted 18 months. I also had one fling that lasted a few weeks, but I’ve been good for almost two years. By "good," I mean not cheating and trying to work on myself emotionally and physically. Life in general is okay, as long as I don’t have a moment to sit and really think about my marriage (if you can call it that)—then I might fall apart and cry. It’s been two years since I ended my affair, and months since I’ve had sex with my SO. He just doesn’t seem to like me.

We get along okay in front of the kids, but we don’t sleep in the same room, and we’ve been on seven dates in the last four years. We have money, but he doesn’t value experiencing life or travel; everything “costs too” much. So, I’ve started traveling alone with girlfriends. It’s the holidays, and suddenly loneliness has crept up, as has sadness.

Is this really it for me? Is this all I will have? Self-improvement is great, and I’m trying to be a nicer, caring, and loving person, but I don’t know if humans are meant to live this way.

This is my very long ramble to say that I may want back in. Has anyone here taken an extended break only to return to this lifestyle? And no, leaving is not possible for at least another two years.

I'm married and would like to send pics, videos to someone and maybe video chat.

Is there an online platform for that so I don't have to install anything on my phone?

My wife and I don't lock our phones, she can always grab mine and I can hers so I'm worried some notifications may popup.

I am using Reddit chat but can't send videos.

What skills does your AP have that you find irresistibly delicious?

Skills outside of sex that is.

I recall years ago the scandal that AM got caught up in. They claim to have reformed and are now safe. Or at least as safe as any internet site can be. Is that fair in today?

Also, how do the credits. work. I see you have to buy them to send messages and have chats. How quickly do 100 credits get used up? I could see how one could spend hundreds on credits quite easily. Is it worth it?

I met my AP about 4 months ago and we meet every two weeks or so. Everything is amazing, and she makes me feel better than I ever knew was possible physically, emotionally and every way that I can think of. When we meet we rip off each others clothes have incredible sex, talk for a bit, more sex, talk more, sex again and the whole time I just cant get enough of her touch, taste and hearing her voice is so soothing. Five hours goes by in the blink of an eye. We both decided that dates or any other type of public meetings were too stressful and too risky given our situations and where we live. We did a good job talking through the boundaries and expectations for the relationship and even though it is much more emotionally charged than either of us planned, we have a healthy understanding of what is acceptable to the other.

This relationship is what I hoped to find, and in fact so much more than I could have ever hoped for because I did not know what a genuine good relationship felt like. I want to keep our relationship feeling fresh, and very importantly I don't want to give off the impression that I am wanting things to change. I just love being around her, and I think she feels the same. This is more motivation for me to think of ways to keep our time together special and show her that I want to put in the effort to keep her enjoying ever minute we get to spend together. Thoughts?

Have you heard of the 'Let Them' theory? Well, for some it may come pretty naturally and for others it's something we may have to actively remind ourselves to do daily. Just Let them.

If they want to choose something or someone over you, LET THEM.

If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM.

If they are okay with never seeing you, LET THEM.

If they are okay with always putting themselves first, LET THEM. If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM.

If they want to follow the crowd, LET THEM.

If they want to judge or misunderstand you, LET THEM.

If they act like they can live without you, LET THEM. If they want to walk out of your life and leave, hold the door open, AND LET THEM.

Let them lose you, and more importantly don't take it personally. Their choices likely have nothing to do with you.

You were never theirs, because you were always your own. So stop working so hard for the attention or affection of those who don't have it to give. Release yourself from those attachments. There are over 8 billion people on this planet, there are bound to be others who are of equal or more value.

So let them.

Let them show you who they truly are, not tell you.

Let them prove how worthy they are of your time.

Let them make the necessary steps to be a part of your life.

Let them earn your forgiveness.

Let them call you to talk about ordinary things.

Let them have a safe place in you. Let them see the heart in you that didn't harden. Let them love you.

This is going to seem paradoxical to some, but.. 'When you "Let Them" do whatever it is that they want to do, it creates more control and emotional peace for you and a better relationship with the people in your life.' ~ @melrobbins

So, good, bad or indifferent.. expect nothing, appreciate everything and just let them, with love and grace.

#letthem #letthemgo #letthemin #letthembe #letthembefree #doyou #authentic #letgo #worryless #livemore #boundaries #selflove #iloveme

Background: Met an absolutely out of my league PAP on Reddit. Their first time “stepping out” after being with their partner for 20 years and in a dead bedroom. They initiated contact, and wanted to meet sooner than I anticipated. We had a positive day long meet up where things went slow but sensual and satisfying. They indicated after that they wanted to continue the situation after the busyness of the holidays (we both have younger children, etc). Since then, I initiate 99% of any communication, yet they actively post on other subreddits enticing pictures and engage in that manner.

Just tell me so it’s in a voice other than the one in my head: they’re not interested in it going any further.

I am new to the online thing, Reddit in particular. I am not new to having an affair. I was previously involved with someone for 3 years. We met organically, at work. In my eyes, it was as close to perfect as you could get. We were exactly what each other needed. Sadly, he moved & our story came to an end after 3 years together.

When I felt like I was ready, I decided to try finding someone online. I’ve only used Reddit because I like the anonymity & you can potentially find someone looking for the same thing as you. Well, my experience has been awful, so far.

I’m 47 & most of the guys who contact me are in their 30s. I don’t necessarily have a problem with that, if we’re both looking for the same thing. But to date, it hasn’t been a pleasant experience. I talked to one guy (35) for almost 2 months before we decided to meet. It got to the point that we exchanged pics. Both SFW & NSFW. I’m a very private person & it takes me a little while to get comfortable doing that. After telling me he wanted to be my next long term AP, we finally met. And I noticed almost immediately that his interest seemed like it started to wane. Then the excuse came that he didn’t have the time or flexibility. So, that ended, after he got what he wanted.

The second guy was too good to be true. 37, a gorgeous doctor. Hmmm…I smelled a potential catfish, only after sharing pics with him. I know…so stupid. He asked me if I wanted to meet, & a couple days before, he canceled. Excuse: sick wife. After a night of getting to know him & exchanging pics with each other & him telling me he wanted to be my next long term AP, I messaged him the next morning to say hi. He responded but said he had a busy day & our conversation was very short. I got the feeling he didn’t want to talk to me & I was right. I never heard from him again.

The third & final guy has me really confused. This guy was 34. We had been talking & we really vibed. The conversation flowed. It got to the point where we exchanged pictures. I received nothing but compliments from him. It was nice. And we scheduled a date to meet. Then the other day, in the middle of a chat, I mean, literally in the middle, he just stopped responding. Against my better judgement, I messaged him the next day & asked him if I did or said something wrong. He never responded. I have absolutely no idea what happened. But I do know, I didn’t do or say anything to warrant him ghosting me.

I guess my question is, has anyone had real success on Reddit finding a partner? Or is it just filled with liars, scammers, catfishers, ghosters & guys who just want nudes to add to their spank bank? If I had known I would feel worse about myself after this experience, I would have never even bothered. Now, on top of being in a dead bedroom at home, I have to worry about there being 3 people who have my pictures & wondering what I did to have them just disappear into thin air.

I’m open to any advice or suggestions. Am I doing something wrong? Is this how it always is? Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

So im the AP and am as single as a Pringle although I'm starting to really enjoy spending time with this person so I'm not really entertaining the thought of others.

Anyway, we spend a good deal of time together during and after work just hanging out, and text a lot but our dates are somewhat limited and it's quite hard for us to hookup cause obviously we aren't going to do that at work.

There's only so many times they can use the gym excuse on days off or needing to go into work early.

Their partner doesn't work so it makes things significantly more difficult.

So I've had a couple of great experiences since I discovered just how much infidelity can help certain people in certain situations. Mine is a very complicated situation and I couldn't really change it if I wanted to but the affairs I've had have gone a long way to helping me regain a bit of happiness from life.

My first one was with an absolute angel. Beautiful, intelligent, athletic and very sexual. We would get together every couple of months and just enjoy being with each other. Sadly, I started to overthink the situation and let it eat away at me. I wasn't as responsive as I should've been and she started to notice and her "fight or flight" defence kicked in and rightly so. I did it to myself and I realised that but it was too late. The end was amicable after 18 months together. It was only after a week or so that it really hit me and the pain really kicked in.... HARD!!!! It was a total no-contact ending.

After I felt ready, I began to look again and unbelievably found that lightning CAN strike twice. She was perfect. Beautiful, bubbly, energetic, great figure and very sexual again. She was also ridiculously close which, before this point, was totally unattainable in my experiences. As it turns out....a bit TOO close. We spent an amazing weekend together and on our second meeting, I dared to wonder what we were calling our situationship. I was happy with whatever it was without giving it a name but I think I sparked a little overthinking and that seemed to be the beginning of the end. We carried on talking about our next meeting but then her situation at home was on the mend and she decided to concentrate on that. Well, that's what I have to believe.

We still talk and occasionally even see each other around but it's very clear that it's over.

So now I'm left feeling all alone again. Empty, unhappy, wondering why I keep sabotaging my own happiness.

I know that I need someone else to help keep my mind and heart occupied but is it just going to be an ongoing, neverending vicious cycle of excitement, anticipation, happiness, self-sabotage, misery.... Rinse and repeat??

I've tried again to fill this hole and find happiness but it seems harder than ever. I've tried to tell myself that it's just the sex but I know that there's more to it. The companionship, being wanted again and just having someone there that understands and wants you to feel good.

I know this sub is full of this kind of story but all I'll say is that you need to just be careful what you're getting yourself into and make sure you know what you want and discuss it with your pAP before you get too deeply involved. Know what your capabilities are with regards to finances, frequency of meetings and how you might handle yourself if things fall down.

When it all falls down, you're more lonely than you ever were before you resorted to this path.

I was alone sick at home with Covid, and made a random Reddit post that would forever change my life.

Somehow I managed to find an amazing, kind hearted, beautiful, thoughtful woman who would be willing to overlook my many flaws. She would be willing to roll with my quirks, awkwardness, an uncanny ability to say the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time and remind me that there I still have some qualities that someone would want in a romantic partner.

Over the past years we’ve been fortunate to take a couple of trips together, meet up on average over a week, and talk every day. In fact we started talking that first day we exchanged messages and have never really stopped texting. I really don’t think we’ve gone more than 10-12 hours without contact. Sometimes we travel, sometimes we go out to eat, sometimes we just lay around a hotel room and enjoy each others company. But whatever we do the time is always too short.

We have matched each other’s energy, lifted each other up when someone was down, and she’s become so intricately woven into my life I have no idea what I’d do without her. She’s become my love, my lover, my confidante, and my best friend. She’s the first person I think of in the morning, and the last person I talk to at night.

I want to shout to the world about her, but unfortunately this sub is the best I can do for now. I love this woman with every ounce of my being. It’s hard to say where life goes. Wherever we end up, be it lifelong bliss or crushing heartbreak, I know that I could never love another woman the way I love this one.

I just wanted to check in, and make sure everyone is doing ok this holiday season. They say this time of year can be the loneliest. However it’s always overlooked the married people that are in our “situation”, the added stress of the holidays all the running around to Christmas party’s for work, friends, kids, plus all the shopping and gift giving stress. But not having a supportive partner and feeling isolated in a marriage could be the cherry on top.

But you got this!

Hope everyone has a great Christmas, and Santa leaves the AP they are seeking under the Christmas tree this year.

Those with an active AP, I hope you get to spread some holiday cheer with each other.

This affair has brought to light some issues with my marriage and it’s given me some good conversations with my wife. I think at some point she might even try to instigate sex which is well out of her wheelhouse but a possibility. I don’t plan on ending anything with AP unless I know the behavior change in my spouse is real and permanent and the other issues also see some resolution. How do y’all navigate sex with both? Do you have sex with both if it comes up? Do you have rules like certain amounts of days between. When I was dating I know I slept with three women in a day once but that was a different life and a different me. Trying to be respectful of both of these women and need some advice. Maybe it’ll be a good conversation too.

Been married 26 years. I'm 62, she is 51. Sex maybe 2-3 times/month. Always the same position, on our sides from behind. I used to love going down on her and she did seem to enjoy receiving. Def no interest in sucking me. No intimacy either emotionally or physically. Very busy home with 3 adult children 19-25 and my granddaughter living here. My 86 y/o mother in law w/dementia is also here which creates a lot of tension and anxiety w/for my wife. I have cheated in the past with a sweet woman who was also married.

I just received a text from AP’s phone ( we have never texted each other we only communicate through Telegram) the text said , YOU BITCH!!! I am certain he has been caught and I don’t know what to do!!! I am in panic mode! Please give me advice from anyone who has been through this.

I (30yr) have a nice car, but got 2 baby car seats in the back. Im potentially going to have a hook up with a female (30yr) she supposedly has a boyfriend but I don’t care. Will the car seats be a turn off when she gets in my car for the first time to hangout.

Question for all those who’ve had experience and success. I’m in a larger metro area and wondering if it’s best to find your person in the wild or online?

As a male w a ring on, what would be some clues to approach a woman in the wild who also has a ring? I understand obvious stares and smiles from F, would be the first clue re initiating a starting conversation, but what are ways that a married woman who’s looking, would want to be approached?

Wish me luck out here. Can’t figure out how to pay for an online account with AM as we have shared cards… any suggestions there would also be great.

TIA!

Meeting my LDAP soon and I'm getting very anxious that it might be disappointing for one/both of us. Many pics have been exchanged but it's still nerve wracking meeting someone for the first time. Any tips on keeping communication going irl or for the first meeting in general? feeling insecure