https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jw0IgghmgiE

Might anyone know where I can find the customized list of suggested questions to check in on someone's wellness after the floods? I understand there is a list, the words make an acronym, to help open dialogue. For example, instead of asking "How are you?, you ask: "Have you eaten?"....Heard this list was circulated after the wildfires and then again after the floods. Sounds so helpful, yet I cant find it. TIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Uh_UIr9biU

I dated this girl for 2.5 months, I took her on a bunch of dates. She then tells me that she's going on a trip and five days later comes back and begins to break up with me through text. From my perspective, this came pretty out of nowhere, as we had kissed twice on our last date and we both had a lot of fun. The convo goes something like:

Me: "Oh ok, can I ask why? I thought our last date went really well?"
Her: "It did. I just don't think we would be compatible as we both thought in the beginning."
Me: "Can we do this over the phone? This kind of thing always sucks through texting."
Her: "I'm sorry that's all I have for you. I'm not going to give any further explanation via phone. I can repeat what I said if you like."
Me: "It's okay if you want to end things. I had a fun time getting to know you and enjoyed your company. But I would like to know what aspects you felt weren't compatible?"
Her: "That's exactly how you get your feelings hurt... I'm not going to sit here and point out things I don't like about you or our connection. I genuinely don't have the energy to linger in that negativity right now."
Me: "I may get hurt momentarily but it might lead to me improving myself permanently. I promise I won't get angry, or fight, or say anything bad about you."
Her: "You are so focused on discussing what YOU want, you're not stopping to think abt if it would be an emotional overload for me. Me saying I don't want to talk abt it should be enough for you to respect my decision."

Idk... something about this convo just feels abnormal. Like in my head and past breakups have always gone differently. Was I actually being inconsiderate? Of course, I tell myself I wasn't... but I'm not an objective source. Anyone out there got better perspective/words of wisdom?

In high school I never had many friends, but there’s this one girl on my swim team that we just vibed. We both were social outcasts, we loved to talk with people we grew close to, and just related with one another. Eventually we decided to date, and I remember when she leaned against me in that movie theater I thought I nailed it.

But back then I had a terrible bad horny addiction and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for her. I didn’t tell her this. I was conflicted with my sexual awakening and I was terrified of making the wrong decision. That and school made it difficult for us to meet. I liked our wholesome best friend relationship, and we ended it on good terms. I thought it was the right choice.

But then the years started to pass and I realized how much I truly loved her. I wanted to do good for her. I wanted her to be happy. So when she left for college leaving me, a year younger behind, I realized how much I missed her. I didn’t think I’d feel this way but I did. I kept texting with her on small talk but she eventually cut it short. One day she told me she didn’t have the capacity or the energy to uphold this relationship. She explained that she still wishes the best for me but didn’t want to explain any longer. I thought I respected her the best I can, so I don’t think I did something wrong. As much as I wanted not to, I respected her wishes to break. But then she blocked me, and I couldn’t help but feel like wanting to say everything I loved about her. But now she was gone, and I never said goodbye :(.

In college I made so many new friends and am happy beyond belief, having the freedom I always wanted. But then I fell in love within a trio of my friend group. I liked her as a friend but knew she spent a lot of time with the other guy friend in our group. So I waited, observing what she was like, to confirm my own feelings while at the same time observing their dynamic with each other. One time I treated her to dinner. I realized how much I was thinking of her and wanting to be with her that it distracted me from classes. I also gave her tons of hints to see how she responded, whether she liked me back. I made her laugh so much. I was almost sure of myself to ask.

This evening, they told me they decided to date.

I was happy for them, naturally. I loved them both and I saw it a mile away (I jokingly shipped them at times). I saw how she stroked his hair and shared lap pillows (this was more recent). I laughed and congratulated them, teasing them. I left their room with a smile, knowing how happy they were together.

A few yards from my dorm room, I lean on the wall and sigh.

It felt devastating.

The other night at a party I saw a couple on a roof kiss. I cringed, but couldn’t help but feel jealous. I wanted that. And where people were dating left and right in my freshman class, I thought I had a shot only to have someone else beat me by a hair.

The one person I truly loved, as much as I knew we both understood each each other and respected each other, oddly cut me off despite years together. Now, where it seems everybody is dating in my first year class, the one girl I was ready for found someone else. Being the best friend I can be, I respected that, and concealed my feelings.

I was always used to being single, but now it’s something I want more than ever. That amazing feeling of just hugging someone that never leaves your mind. And now, it hurts so so much.

God. How I wish I can love again.

My phone isn't working, my charger stopped working, my plans fell through. I'm having bad cramps. I'm sad.

I'm lost without you babe ...i honestly don't know how to go on ...you were my everything .... And now I have nothing .... I miss you every second ...I need you ..... REST IN PEACE STEPHANIE SANCHEZ L...

if anyone needs to talk or a friend feel free to mesg me

Check out https://prepr.org/care-lab/ for more info!

I get yelled at get called racial slurs and even get told to kill myself sometimes and my aunt who I work with cause she owns the restraunt now hurts me alot I feel like I'm depressed

As of today, I am two years off nicotine, 1 year off self harm, and 6 months off alcohol. (Technically, today isn't the EXACT day for all of these. I hit nicotine/self harm in January, today I hit my six months.)

The kicker? I'm fourteen.

I had some really shitty people in my life when I was younger who enabled me and gave me a reason to numb and destroy myself. I've filled my life with amazing people and worked things out with those I could. I had to grow up super fast to be there for my siblings and all the adults in my life.

I actually started all three of these habits when I was 11, so it hasn't been super long. I'm really proud of myself right now.

Have a great day. It gets better.

So I posted this to another subreddit but got little to no response :/

TW: mental illness, verbal/physical abuse, bullying, suicide, homophobia, and dieting

Also, English is not my first language so excuse my mistakes

So, I live in Central America. Almost everyone in my country is really religious conservative (like old school) and this includes my family. I'm being "raised evangelical", I've attended catholic school and now I'm in my senior year in an Episcopal high school... its hell (my senior year is like junior year in the US aka 11th grade)

In school, kids around me have talked about me for no reason whatsoever, invented rumors about me that traveled wherever I went. It all started in catholic school and it got so bad that even teachers found out, so I moved schools; apparently, the rumors spread through all schools in the city (even school I have NEVER attended to/planned to attend to), and this, unfortunately, included my now current school. I went in with a bad reputation, nobody really likes me. The kids I used to hang out with at school are all graduated by now since they are older than I am. with them off to college is hard to maintain that constant communication. And the few people in my grade who I thought were my friends ended up being backstabbers. The few friends I had are all now off to college, and I’m all alone now.

For some time I figured out I was bisexual, but unfortunately, that's not accepted here by little to anyone, so I haven't gotten the change to come out. It's one of my biggest secrets, with only two people IRL knowing about this because here it's seen as being gay is wrong. My mom doesn't know, but she always makes spiteful jokes and comments on the LGBT community and is not open-minded at all. Recently had an incident where she compared having a ga child to a child passing away, quoting her: "there must be hard stuff to go through, and having a homosexual child", "I'd be concerned if you were attracted to girls", and so on. Didn’t surprise me but still broke my heart, I’ve been crying ever since (so like five days now).

Also, my mom is just really toxic with me; her intentions might be good but the execution not quite. By December, she had put me through a keto diet (especially no carbs and/or sugar). It’s not a bad site but I broke it by then since ya know… December. Started again almost a week ago snd its not as bad as I thought but I didn’t like back in December that; 1) she forced me into it and 2) she made really toxic comments like “skinnier you will loo prettier” or “you need to lose that tummy you’ve got, doesn’t look good”. Think what worried me the most was this particular comment she made as we watch the crown (spoilers lol); There’s this episode all about lady Diana where she has a bunch of pressure to become part of the royal family and all that jazz, due to that, she developed an eating disorder and my mom goes: "hopefully its graphic, that way it encourages us to eat less". Made me question her intentions of putting me on a diet.

With that last part in mind: if I were to tell her I'm bi and atheist, something bad could happen

My situation at home isn't ideal either, my parents might or might not be separating and it sucks because whatever anger either parent has, they take it out on me since I'm the older child. I tried to talk to them about it but they said I just being dramatic and whatnot. I (accidentally: my mom blurted out to me in the middle of a fight) got told about the separation around Thanksgiving.

The separation is supposed to be happening due to my dad not working. He has been unemployed for six years now and shows no signs of interest in getting a job anytime soon. my mon works full time and we have enough to get by, but what makes my mom upset is 1. him just laying around and not even bothering to help around the house and 2. that's our "role model" as a father figure. My dad is depressed and so is my mom. But they don't tend to be depressed where they cry, rather than that they get angry and take it out on me by screaming at me and sometimes hitting me if very very intense.

But the way they take it out is really different from each other, my mom tends to be chill a lot of the time but whenever she is angry it's really intense. She screams at me and curses me as if it were my fault the separation is happening or her stress is my fault. My dad on the other hand it's like a little needle poking in the same little by little, his attacks aren't as intense but they are constant. He taunts me as a lame school bully would, that's the best I can describe it.

With all of this being settled, by summer I decided I wanted to study in America and remain there once I graduated university. I worked my ass off to do my SATs; I didn't have a decent summer break because of the exam since I was preparing for it. I had only 10th grade backing me up when the exam evaluates 10th, 11th, and 12th. I spend around four months of intense tutoring and studying before the exam. Basically went into that exam with 10th in my pocket and a bit over a month in 11th. I had never wanted something so bad, I just want to get out of here. I didn't even pass the SAT which devastated me, but I kept moving on.

Because if I don't get to go away, it's very likely I'll study something I not really passionate about and just makes the money since money makes happiness according to my family. I also want to leave this place to live out to be bisexual and follow/unfollow whatever religion I like. So everything is in-game.

In order to go away I did everything I could to make myself a good candidate; got four really good recommendation letters, a 3.7/4.0 GPA, I have a history of extracurriculars and winning competitions in inner, local, and even national competitions, I'm a good athlete, fluent in both English and Spanish and now I'm even attempting to learn French. Also, have a history of helping charities and volunteering for local causes.

But now it's all been for nothing because even with a good scholarship I won't be able to go away to either the US or Canada (my backup plan) and it breaks me, heart. With my dad not working there is no way they can sustain me in case of going international, so I'll be remaining here. I figured that I couldn't afford it around mid-December, and my mental health has declined. For the first moments I was angry at the world, was a sobbing disaster when my mom told me I was not going anywhere.

Whenever I cry I front of my parents I'm viewed as weak, so I don't do it in from of them, because then I get called names like "drama queen" or "cry baby". I feel like I cannot be anything other than happy in front of them because otherwise, I'm being overdramatic. kinda like: upset? it's not that big of a deal. overwhelmed? you are just exaggerating. sad? don't be.

I've found ways to let all of my feelings out like painting, drawing, taking walks, and so on. But sometimes sits too much for that to work, and talking to others isn't always an option since people don't tend to understand how I'm feeling. I'm genuinely trying my best to keep my head up but it's hard when I feel trapped. Trapped whereas I cannot be myself and follow my beliefs when I cannot express how I feel, and when so much is pressuring me down.

I figured that by staying here at least I could make my time worth a while by volunteering more to others that might need my help, get a part-time job as I study: that way I have a starting point when attempting to go international in the middle of/after uni (if given the opportunity) and just to better my french too but I still don’t feel happy.

I feel like I’ve worked too hard and done too much for what’s essentially nothing. I feel as if my hands are tied and my eyes are covered, I have nowhere to look at.

What can I even do? feel like I’m barely keeping myself together.

hey, i posted a paragraph of my life 7-8 months ago, and a lot of people reached out and were super sweet and helpful. eventually, i got put into a residential after overdosing, ER, and psych. im doing a lot better now but i still have my ups and downs and my insecurity. im scared that ill relapse and turn to drugs soon but i just wanted to let people know that treatment does help and i recommend looking into a good treatment center. if i didnt go to a residential i would definitely be dead by now.

Now even though clinical depression has run down in my family for a lot of generations, I honestly don’t think I have it, but I do feel like that.

So I’m in a real deep shit. I learned with a girl at school for 9 years now. She is one of the (if not the) most popular girls in class. Until half a year ago I didn’t feel nothing for her, but it all changed then. I was to late. When I think about it now, I was probably 3 years to late, because she is one of the popular and I’m not. But back to the point. I must say that I do have a good relationship with her boyfriend (and a pretty OK relationship with her), but it doesn’t change the fact that he, and NOT me, is her boyfriend. Remember when I said we learned together for 9 years. Now we move to high school, and instead of we going to the same school, our ways separate and I’m stuck with her BOYFRIEND in my high school (which again, I have good relationship with him, but It doesn’t change the fact that that HE is her boyfriend). I still think that we’ll might meet again but I hate to say that our chance to be something more is fairly low.

It’s been almost half a year since I made this post, and I haven’t met her again. Every time I see her boyfriend I feel disgusted of my self, cause I know I’m stuck: either I’m gonna try undermine him and try to break them up, and be... (even if I’ll try I’ll 99% fail, but just the fact of me trying will make me) ...a monster; or I will keep suffer quietly.

But that’s not what’s bothering me. What’s bothering me is, as I said, no one understands me. After our separated, I might have, unconditionally, trying to isolate myself from society, into the one thing thing I THOUGHT would never hurt me: the computer. But as always there’s a catch, and in this case, it’s time.

Now I know it’s all MY fault, and it isn’t fair of me to be mad, cause I DIDN’T tell THEM, but still, it drive me nuts. What makes me so mad is that, when my parents noticed that I spent most of my time in front of the computer, instead of trying to understand what I’m going through, they immediately decided that they should just stop that, and did me the “you’ve been bad” conversation, in which they told me IT WAS THEIR MISTAKE OF HOW THEY RAISED ME UP (which is just like say that they are SUPER disappointed of me, in a slightly more subtle way). Now I wanna make it clear, my parents ARE NOT bad people nor bad parents, but still, I’m your son and that’s what you say to me when you SHOULD KNOW that I’m on the lowest there is.

I don’t know what to do. If you have any idea, please share it, and if you don’t, I really need someone, anyone, to cheer me up.

Thanks

Life can be very tough, there's no doubt about that. Those who've lead really tough lives may think that they don't deserve happiness or that they might never be happy again. I want to say that that isn't true.

This'll get a bit long so please bear with me.

I've been in rock bottom before. There was a point where I hated my job, my living situation, and even my looks (I kept eating cause I thought that would take the sadness away). I even considered just....ending it all because of how sad I was.

But then, my girlfriend managed to save me be helping me realize that there was a goal I had to achieve if I wanted to be happy again.

What was that goal? Well, to return to being the man that she first fell in love with.

It was really tough getting back, especially since I cried a lot and just wanted to give up on many occasions. But I pushed myself to keep going because I really wanted to see my girlfriend smile genuinely again. After a lot of time, effort, and both love and support from my girlfriend, I managed to achieve my goal. It was certainly difficult but it was well worth it because me and her have never been happier.

I know that not everyone has a person who's willing to give them the support they need, and that each person's situation in life differs (some having it much tougher than others). BUT, I also think that everyone deserves to be happy and that if a person is willing to work towards happiness, then he/she is sure to attain it. Happiness is always going to be waiting for you, and I know you'll be able to acquire it.

I made something for those who may have trouble realizing their goal towards happiness, or for those who are finding it hard to achieve it. I really hope it helps (You don't have to click it if you don't want to, I just hope that whatever I've shared has managed to help someone).

https://youtu.be/UdXRGZTl3GI

I tried staying in my old apartment just because I loved the neighborhood and how close I was to my SO and I had 2 girls with bipolar disorder ruin it for me, one once being my friend/current roommate who was subletting. My landlord told me because of them and their actions I wasn’t allowed to renew.

After that it was eggshells because she kept demanding food and for me to move in with her. I relocated and didn’t tell her the correct address due to how aggressive she is. She even called my SO a few times trying to argue with him that I had did things to her that did not happen.

Then my former roommates finally contact me 3 days before I move out that I need to get rid of the furniture, none of them offering to help move it out. I told them to help and all they did was post pictures on Facebook.

Then the night of the move, a drive by shooting hits next door. I’m honestly still shaking from it, there were kids on the first floor, a man died. I told my roommates due to that I couldn’t move anything because I had no help, the subletter stealing most of my belongings in the process.

I’m just mad, I’m mad I allowed myself to be used by the subletter. She took so much from me and when I called her out on it she hit me with the “sweetie” card and I knew she’s would always be horrible. We were friends and she manipulated me thinking she was just a girl trying to survive. No she’s manipulative, to the point where she called other people to deal with me.

I just want someone to listen, not even my roommates cared over the shooting, all they cared about was the furniture. What kind of person asks about furniture when they hear a man died?

You know it's fun to have good days but my life is like nah fuck you ima kill your nan time to not leave my room for a week not the best idea to leave me alone for a while but hey if they can't see the marks then it's fine right

I can’t keep pushing. I’ve failed everyone. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more. Who would have thought that I’d finally see it.

I have not done it but is tempting like ima be siting there doing something and my mind be like hey go do it

I had a dream about me cuting my hand and I woke up and there is a fucking dent where I cut in my dream same length aswell

I really won’t. I try and try, but I can never get better. I push myself to hopefully be happy with myself, it never works. I am afraid of death, but I’ve no will to live. Am I in purgatory? I don’t deserve love, or care from anyone. I’m honestly the single most worthless person on earth. I’m sorry for being such a bother to any of you. You deserve better than me.

I just went from being depressed I then made spag bol for the first time with my mum and now I'm fine how the hell have I gone from almost suicidal to bashing out apex legends in like 4 days. I mean l will still be on the sub just In case and because I find it interesting that I can relate to people(and technically I still sh but it's just lack of sleep)