Scratch that. I definitely did something. I have in my hand a certain document that has changed my life.

My legal name change! WooHoo!

I AM DEFINITELY TAMSYN!

😁

There’s no where to post really about this. So I’m going to post here? Maybe suggest if you can think of a better sub.

I am trans male but very closeted. The only people that know are my fiancé and my family (family did not accept me). I live in a very republican area and it just isn’t safe to come out and so being 28 years old, I’ve just gotten used to hiding.

So I work a job with a decent amount of male coworkers and I enjoy the company of men. I just relate and have a similar mind. I find it so much easier and therefore, I click very well with most guys I meet. I’d been worried some might like me but there’s one in particular that is worrying me.

Essentially, he’s always asking me to work with him, gets angry if any guy tries to tag along, compliments me, lifts anything before I can even try, shows off, and tells me he loves the music I listen too… he seems possessive of me, if I laugh with another guy, he glares from a far. I feel eventually he might ask me out. And it hurts because I’m trans. And it’s a strange feeling, like being in a box that no one can open.

I suppose I’m wondering what you would do? I am in a relationship but I do fear losing my friendships. I just.. I feel so lonely. There’s not a lot of lgbt people where I am. Whenever one pops up, trust me do I want to be friends. But it’s rare.

I am so lonely. I quit alcohol 2 years ago and that was my fix for the pain. And now I am dealing with it solo. My fiancé lives far from me rn or I’d lean on him for support. I just feel so alone and when I make friends, they can’t know me. It hurts.

So I've been on HRT for a year now and I still have a male chest. I just want to know if getting a boob job is even possible? When I say male chest I mean a skinny male too, there is no fat or muscle to work with whatsoever. And if it is possible, will surgeons actually do it for me? They have no lack of work and surely they'll just laugh some bald dude out of their clinic if he's asking for a boob job.

And before people ask, my levels are fine and I'm even taking progesterone. HRT hasn't worked for me at all - not just for boobs - so I know for a fact it's not just a matter of giving it more time.

Following up. Last weekend I posted about a scary trip to the post office to get my passport updated with the correct gender marker.

This week:

• The same teller who I had talked with welcomed me back. (I see her when sending packages, so I'm not surprised she remembered me.)
• She looked over the sheet to make sure it was completed and pointedly remarked she's glad she could help me with correcting stuff on the old passport. (Nothing but the gender marker is changing.)
• Today, no one else had a problem. No drama. Just fine.

Four to six weeks from now, I should get the new document. Almost no one looks good in the picture, but that's it. I have submitted the stuff and I'm done with everything but the document itself.

TL:DR I am really trying to figure out my feelings on transitioning and where my own gender identity choice is going to lead. I feel like a lot of trans people just know it was the right choice and I feel a fair amount of hesitation. Perhaps it's fear, perhaps I am a coward. I just can't see myself totally going and saying for certain that I need this. I can see just as many negatives as positives.

I will probably stop posting questions on here after this, at least on his topic. It's probably annoying at this point, so I am sorry. I guess that over the past two months my gender identity has cracked hard. It's not a new thing, I have had some "fun" thoughts with gender since I was at least 12, probably before. Look of the basic stuff a lot of trans feminine people feel, wanting the clothes, the hobbies, the forms of expression that girls and women had. As I got older it turned into more of a gender envy thing for sure, jealous of the way women looked as opposed to me as man. They way they were allowed to act, have friends, be emotional etc. As I just turned 30 (yay.....) I realize a lot of my issues are due to the box I hahe put into as man since birth.

I hate it very much, the expectations to be tough, stoic, non emotional, not to care about a partner, have the family and kids by X age, all of it is exhausting. I know those expectations of society and those around me have contributed to my lack of happiness, depression, and anxiety. I guess in a lot of ways I never felt comfortable as me. For a number of reasons. I have done far more surviving as opposed to living and I don't see that getting better or a good way to live. Working on changing that with therapy, building connections with others, getting more fit, etc.

In terms of gender I have done it all. Lots of gender envy, crossdressing for years with the purges when I got scared of my feelings, did photoshoots as a feminine person, have tried to incorporate being more feminine and emotional into my day to day life. It helped......for a bit. But it was never enough to make me happy. These past two months have been illuminating as a future as a man seems very hard and I don't know if it's ideal. One as a woman seems like it has the chance for happiness at the risk of a lot of hardship, cost, money, etc.

I.......am scared, almost paralyzed by fear. Perhaps more of a nagging anxiety that makes it hard to choose. Indecision is a decision too, I know that. I just can't shake the feeling that my feelings might not be "valid". I don't feel like I am trapped in the wrong body, I don't actively hate it. I don't like it but it's more of a default. I think being able to present as a woman, have those characteristics, and body type would be liberating. I don't want to be a girly girl but perhaps it would give me freedom to explore in a non binary sense and make my own labels.

I guess because of that it isn't as much as a burning need but like a want. It can't be as easy as wanting to be a beautiful woman can it?

Perhaps I really wanted to ask......did you guys and gals have a total know about this? Is it more of a gut feeling? Or did you have nerves and indecisions? I know you can't answer for me, that's only something I can do. I know that. But thanks for reading.

I have my first appointment with Folx on December 16th, feels so great that I'm moving forward 😊😊.

Exactly as the title says. I have a yellow VS Pink bra 38B. I bought it about 2 years ago before my HRT had really kicked in. My left boob is spilling over the top!

Happy and sad at the same time.

I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this: I’m 46, AMAB, and haven’t started transitioning yet. I live and present as a straight cis male. My whole life I’ve wanted to be a woman, but transition was never really an option for me, life got in the way, and now here I am. I’m reaching that point of not caring what anyone thinks anymore, not caring how well it works out for me anymore, just feeling like I need to do this for myself.

But lately it feels like as I get closer to taking that plunge, I’ve been having this really strange desire to be a man. There’s a voice in the back of my mind telling me to start hitting the gym to try and bulk up, that I’d look really good with broad shoulders, that I should grow my beard out and trim it up nice and proper, start wearing fitted suits and stop trying to hide who I am.

It feels weird and completely foreign. I’ve never presented particularly feminine, but I’ve also never really embraced masculinity before either… it was just the lot in life I was given. Are these just completely normal seconds thoughts, or something else? They seem so appealing that I don’t know what to make of it.

Shopping for clothing has ALWAYS been tedious for me. I'm 6'2 and slim. It's a nightmare trying to find clothes that fit.. I have to shop both genders to find things that can go together. Anyone else know what I'm talking about? Like, I get so excited when I can just find a piece in women's that actually fits.. In the end, I'm happy to make it work at all, but it's incredibly time consuming, expensive and demoralizing. Even finding mens clothes that come off as feminine, are hard to find.

Sometimes I just feel androgynous. Like I don't fit any gender 😔

Hi, first time writing here.

I’m 38, and I’ve been questioning my gender (and sexuality) for the past… 7 years?

During this time, I’ve had moments in which I’ve known I was trans. I could feel it. There was that deep sorrow. That fear of seeing time go away and not doing anything. That feeling of despair…

And then it would all go away.

I would keep going on, or I’ll meet someone and try to be a guy and it would work for a while and then again, a big crash, the house of cards hits the floor and I’m crying and sobbing like a child.

And it would go all away.

I’ve been having a lot of anxiety lately. It got so bad that I started taking medication. It’s not helping.

A trans friend of mine gave me a Lenzetto spray a few months ago, when I told her about my questioning. The spray has been in my room for months.

Last week, barely being able to get out of bed I said “fuck it” and started DIY HRT. My idea being: I’ll do it for a month, see if I feel any changes, if I feel “better”, if it feels “good” to me.

I’m scared of growing breasts and not liking that so I thought I would do it until they start growing and then keep going or stop.

I made an appointment to do laser hair removal that same day.

I went to a de to ask for some reccomendations for an Endocrinologist, just to help me check out my levels: the moment they heard I was doing DIY they told me they’ll try to take me as a patient for HRT: I have an appointment with them in two weeks. I was happy and it sound great.

And suddenly, it all went away again.

I’m just scared, I feel a pain in my chest and gut and don’t know what I’m a doing.

I know I should move forward just so I can understand and see is this is my path but I’m truly scared and there’s a part of me quite bigoted and transphobic that keeps (trying to protect me?) judging me and saying I’m just a repressed homosexual or a fetishist or something.

But mostly, I’m scared of rejection.

I’m doing my best to practise self love and acceptance, but it’s hard.

So yeah, dunno, just wanted to get this out of my chest and share with you all.

Thanks for reading :)