I have been to multiple therapists after being SA’d. Amongst many other topics that I talked about, I told them how my mom is pressuring me to go to obgyn and how I am deathly afraid of it. Every therapist I told this to just responded to me with something along the lines of “Everyone feels uncomfortable about going to obgyn, you’ll get used to it!” or “Just tell the doctor that you’ve been SA’d and they’ll be more careful with you!”. I felt like my fears had not been heard.

Eventually I decided to have my first appointment, especially bc my mom had been pressuring me, since she doesn’t know about the SA and obviously thinks that me and my bf do intimate stuff and I’d rather go there than tell my mom about it.
I was too afraid of telling the doctor I’d been SA’d since based on the therapists’ reactions, I was afraid that the doctor would also find my SA incident to be insignificant and use this as an excuse to penetrate me v***ly. Instead I told them I had no experience and they did the scans aly instead.
Which was a relief, but I was still in the same position as when I was SA’d and I pretty much blacked out during it. I acted as if everything was fine but my head was so foggy I couldn’t understand anything that the doctor was saying lol. I don’t ever wanna go back to obgyn.

They Will manipulate Will and use a vague and relativistic language to fit you and anyone Else into a mental ilness diagnosis

Anyone can fit their descriptions especially themselves, the solution is If you have any doubt read the DSM-5 its simple and straight to the point, Just after Reading It(the text in its purest form not a manipulative "interpretation") you may look for a therapist or psychiatrist

They Tell you not to research about mental health on Google, AI and DSM-5 because its easier to manipulate ignorant people, do never Trust them, they are greedy liars with 0 compassion that only think in themselves

A lot of you would enjoy his recent video on therapists and psychology in general:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oufvny3GCl4

Are these types of posts allowed? I’m not advertising anything, just thinking of an initiative. It’s NOT a business idea. I must be not the first one to think of that, but do any of you fellow survivors still feel that you need support, even if therapy didn’t work for you? Like, someone safe to talk to?

I thought that maybe I’ll try my luck here: I’d like to find someone to talk to, with whom we can support each other, vent to each other, maybe even help research ways out of issues for each other. Of course, for free, I’m not taking about any side-hustle, the only thing we get out of each other is support. It can be something semi-structured, so that we don’t get to a point of a disaster and burn out. I thought of some rules:

1. Talk to each other once a week for an hour. Well, two hours: one hour we focus on the issues of one person, another — on the issues of the other person. Don’t talk in between “sessions” (not to burn out and lead to traumatization for each other that “we were abandoned once again”);

2. Adhere to the principals of GOOD therapy: neutral or positive attitude to each other, empathy, kindness, not trying to fix each other, but accepting each other and really trying to understand where the other person is coming from, asking lots of questions, remembering that the other person has autonomy over their life etc. You know, the good stuff, preferably something trauma-informed.

3. Talk to each other for 20 mins first to see if our vision fits. As you can see, it’s a very broad concept and we can make of the space whatever we want and agree to.

4. Can be over text, can be on the phone, can be a video chat. Every format has its upsides and downsides, so whatever suits.

5. We can find a healthy arrangement that works for both of us in terms of finishing it. Anything can happen. One of us may become overwhelmed and it might not work out, there’s no obligation to continue beyond what we have agreed to (like, a respectful talk about your limitations and backing out).

I’d prefer it to be a one-on-one thing, not a group thing. But I’m open to suggestions. A little bit about myself:

1. 30F
2. Russian living in Israel. I speak Russian (native), Hebrew (fluent), English (fluent). So, open to everyone speaking one of these languages.
3. Things I’d like to talk about are pretty heavy, but I do always remember that I am the one responsible for myself, no one else. I’ve also had similar arrangements in the past (not such formal, more sporadic) and it worked pretty well. So, my topics are: passive chronic SI (mostly I mention it as a feeling, not something I really talk about), a history of self-harm (not doing it any more and don’t really have the urge), abusive relationships, immigration trauma, sexual trauma, health issues (struggling with post-concussion), relationship issues (the thing that bothers me most of the time), some war trauma, therapy abuse (obviously). So, I have experience in a lot of topics, I don’t have all (or any) of the answers, but I sure can relate to a lot of things. I also know things about cPTSD, trauma, neurodivergence, LGBT (I’m an asexual myself). The only thing as comes to mind for me as my limitation, I don’t think I will be able to deal with someone with self-harm urges and acute SI , as well as substance abuse (I don’t have any experience with the topic). I am NOT any type of a specialist! And don’t expect you to be.
4. I’m very understanding of things and accepting. Like talking about theories. I tend to mesh well with people who are more analytical and show empathy through really understanding what I’m saying and lack of judgement and less through open demonstration of feelings, but also are not completely detached.
5. I’m open to everyone speaking any of the languages that I speak who is at least trying to be trauma informed. I think I’ll probably be more of use to someone around my age. I’m probably less suitable for people going through sexual issues in their marriages or long partnerships, or any topics connected to kids, or aging parents (like, 70+), as I don’t have any lived experience with it. Nevertheless, I find that some older people still find it useful to talk through issues with someone younger.

And if anyone else wants to give any suggestions or look for peer support in this post that doesn’t involve me (like, post your own message), you’re welcome. I’m not sure if it’ll work, but I’ve been meaning to try for the last couple of years, so why not.

Female clinical psychologist told me I don't look autistic. (31M)

So, I underwent a standard psychological examination in which various tests are carried out (emotions, thinking, cognition, memory, personality, etc.). At the first session, I told the psychologist that I think I am on the autism spectrum, and I also suspect that ADHD and OCD go hand in hand with it. Today we had our last session where we did some testing to assess my cognitive abilities, and after doing some testing, she named anxiety as the obvious main symptom, but I told her that deep down and after years of self-analysis and online research, I believe that anxiety is just a surface symptom and all of my issues stem from undiagnosed autism, ADHD, and OCD.

She asked me to explain myself in more detail, agreed with some of my comments and disagreed with others, but in the end, she said with a sort of smile on her face that I don't look or act autistic, or that I am not outwardly perceived as autistic. She then mentioned that she has worked with other autistic people and children in the past, with very mild and severe cases, and I don't look like one of them. I am 31M. She thinks I’m more on the narcissism spectrum than autism, even though I have a baby face, even though I'm 31M and have problems in social situations, putting things in a certain order, having trouble navigating with and without Google maps, also being highly sensitive etc.

Some of the tests showed my abnormal way of thinking and impulsivity, also a strong need for justice and being righteous, but the psychiatrist basically brushed it off. You can be autistic and narcissistic.

I didn't even receive a PDF report from them. They said it's confidential. I emailed them but they haven't responded.

https://youtu.be/mVC5Q_I9IWc?si=jhvY0a873buWPqsT

I've been through the wringer, as many of you have. I've had childhood depression, anxiety, and OCD. I'm also an abuse survivor, and have experienced different forms of bullying throughout my life so far. I also have ADHD, and I might even have what some call "C-PTSD" from the abuse...but that hasn't been verified for reasons I'll mention later.

I have done traditional therapy(CBT), I've gone to a Jungian therapist, I've done various forms of self-improvement and so-called "shadow work". I've revisited my past and childhood countless times. I've made radical changes to my schedule and diet to get myself out of severe depression and anxiety. I've attempted to "face my fears" via exposure methods like public speaking and cold-approaching people in order to "conquer" my social fears. I did tons of volunteer work because a therapist said "helping others gives you purpose and makes you feel good about yourself".

Keep in mind, I grew up low-income. So I couldn't do this stuff while my parents were financially responsible for me. I had to scrounge around for cash to be able to afford this stuff while working later on. I spent a lot of money and energy on this shit.

And what did it all amount to? I honestly don't know. I can't actually pinpoint what exactly changed. Do I have more knowledge about myself and my inner workings? Sure. Is my mental health as bad as it once was? No. But can I truly say "it was therapy and self-improvement that saved me"? Also, no.

The fact is, I still suffer greatly. Perhaps not as much as I once did, but I still have never been happy. Only slightly more functional in society. By the time my therapist got around to a potential CPTSD diagnosis for me, I simply gave up. A good 10 years of my life passed, and all the "improvement" amounted to was me being a better cog in a work setting.

I was so focused on improvement and "healing", that I haven't even been in a normal romantic relationship. Just one toxic relationship that my therapist told me I "attracted".

I haven't really mastered any tangible skill, and am more of a jack-of-all-trades.

My social skills only got worse, somehow.

The list goes on and on.

For me, it was the all-too-infamous BPD diagnosis…..right after I told him that my mental health was declining with him and I had started seeking therapy elsewhere.

Just kinda curious about other people’s experiences with this.

It has come to my attention that rarely does a client end up with a personal injuries compensation for therapy based abuse... mainly because they rely on the ethical bodies procedure which uses up the 3 year limitation period.

However i have been speaking to a civil liberties law firm and am thinking we need a group litigation against the ethical bodies for preventing our civil rights for justice. In exploring this i have also discovered we have 6 years limitstion under civil liberties to bring action against a therapist.

So if anyone has put in a complaint to an ethical body and the process took too long to get a personal injuries claim considered and wants in I'll let you know how discussion go and you can get in touch directly. What do you all think? I feel it is time justice was had and we sent message to therapists who mess with vulnerable people.

Okay so a few weeks ago my partner and I started going to couples counseling. The first session we had seemed very normal but looking back maybe it wasn’t. In that first session my therapist disclosed she was in a lesbian marriage (I thought she was trying to build report with us being a lesbian couple).

The second session- we were talking about something relatively normal which was about how my partner and I have a pattern where she sometimes will shut down my emotions and is unable to support me and sometimes I ask for my emotional needs when it’s rumination and she genuinely doesn’t have the space for it. Anyways this divulged into the therapist saying That she and her partner have the same issues and I’m more like her wife where I need to unpack and she’s like my partner and needs it be put away. She then went deeply into my rumination- then when I agreed but said still sometimes I don’t feel heard in my relationship and my partner has openly admitted that she often times approaches problems by immediately jumping into solve mode.

She tells me that I’m deeply insecure, and anxious and it is a burden to my partner (and implied others). I pressed her on this because it felt wrong and said I disagreed I don’t think I’m burdensome. She then launched into its my own issue with the word because I subscribe to “disgust culture”- something she proudly told us she made up. I then tried to move the conversation and said we can disagree but it’s triggering me please stop let’s move on and she doubled down.

She told me I don’t need to agree with her philosophy but it’s only bothering me bc I’m subscribing to “disgust culture”. Which she told me I had a choice not to but those who subscribe walk around with hate-filled hearts. She also said that “disgust culture” causes racism so basically implied I’m a racist. Atp idk what’s happening I’m dissociating/crying and asked her what are we talking about? She told me to tell her bc it seemed like I assumed she was judging me and she’d approached the conversation with an open heart. After that she continued to tell me that Donald Trump subscribes and that’s why he does horrible things. She also told me that what separates pedophiles from those how act on it is the subscription to “disgust culture”-I’m a survivor of CSA and a product of rape so horribly triggering. I finally told her you don’t even know me stop making a broad assumption she said “you’re right I don’t know you this is why I hate EAP clients and I wasn’t saying you are those things I’m saying if you were to subscribe to “disgust culture”. By the end of the session she then talked about me in third person to my partner.

It was only 2 sessions and I’d been at my close to my prime mental health- I am now having passive suicidality (I’m safe). I feel like a burden which was so hard for me to overcome from my own traumas, which are unfortunately quite a lot. My favorite thing about myself is my kindness and who I am in relationships- it’s what keeps me centered. I felt like she used things in the previous session to make me feel worthless. Maybe this doesn’t belong in this sub, but I’ve called my mom everyday since and now I really feel burdensome and scared to rely on my support system. My partner has been really good about it telling me our therapist was unethical and wrong.

Maybe this post doesn’t belong here but I feel like I’m overreacting- how can one session undo years of personal growth? Is this normal?

This was pounded through my head when I was in inpatient anorexia residential. Over and over. I was repeatedly gaslighted on my own feelings so they can paint a story that wasn't there about how I ended up with my eating disorder. This was when I was around 16. The whole "You can't control your situation, but you can control what you eat / do." No I don't doubt that's the reason for some people, but my anorexia has always been a people-pleasing manifestation. I felt unliked by my peers growing up, didn't make friends well, so I tried to make myself somebody people would feel jealous of and want to be. I'd even say a part of it was wanting to appear smaller and less of a threat, take up less space. Whenever I'd tell this to my therapist, they'd act like what I said was a part of my anorexia in addition to the control Factor. There is no control factor. My experience doesn't matter because they already know what they read so I must be "mistaken"

Not to mention I am coming from two generations of anorexic women, both my mother and my grandmother struggled with itsa possibility my great-grandmother but I'm not sure. It is highly likely there is a biological component in my brain that makes me predisposed to anorexia.

After seeing more than 20 therapists over 7 years of searching, I have concluded that I am incompatible with this treatment. I still believe that there are good professionals, but I no longer have the strength to bear the indifference and other gestures that many on this sub also received from poorly trained psychologists.

This isn't a post about complaints, so I'll be objective: If therapy can't help with my AvPD, anhedonia, environmental issues, severe trauma, and other issues that deteriorate my mind, what is really in my power?

Therapists love to tell us to only have one therapist at a time and having multiple therapists is bad (e.g. “you can get conflicting advice from different therapists”). But is this actually true? I’m thinking moreso in cases where each therapist is working on a separate issue. For example I have both OCD and attachment trauma from my childhood. If I wanted to work on both, I would imagine that 1) the best person for helping with my OCD would be different than the best person for helping heal my attachment trauma, and 2) there isn’t a whole lot of overlap in the treatment of these two separate issues.

Just so many therapists are so arrogant, heartless, and throw me away and don't give me any second thought. I've only been laughed at, ignored, kicked out for "disagreeing" with them. Just so many examples of having to ask the most cruel people to help me with my most sensitive issues. It's just way too rare that I ever had a voice in this profession who actually gave one single fuck about me. But how should that stick, when the other 99% have been just absolute trash to me? Am I really just supposed to get another one, and not feel completely destroyed by these clowns?

Any opinions and insight are deeply appreciated. I'm in the dark and entirely uninformed. Don't want to waste mone when there are cheaper options available. Never developed verbal tourettes until later in life due to abuse (through therapy somewhat).

Thanks friends.

Where I live, seeing a therapist is still a taboo, and although more and more people are starting to seek out therapy, they are very discreet about it. Not only are they hesitant to talk about it in person, they are also reluctant to review their therapists. As a result, I can barely find two or three reviews across all relevant websites and forums on the Internet for even some of the better known therapists in my city, excluding star reviews on Google not accompanied by a text, which are primarily posted by staff members. For one of the oldest and most reputable psychotherapy centres, there was not even a single text review on Google. Above all, there were no negative reviews for any of the centres I went to, excluding minor complaints relating to the appointment scheduling process and the like. There were more critical assessments of individual therapists on forum threads, but mostly vague ones, along the lines of "therapist X looked uninterested during our sessions". Many of the harsher ones did not even name the therapist.

After receiving poor and traumatic therapy in several different centres, much of which I consider abuse and much of which could be objectively called malpractice (e.g. a licensed psychologist without any medical qualification assertively dishing out medical advice), I decided that I would be the first to leave lengthy, detailed reviews, composed in temperate language and with references to specialised literature, in which I call out the relevant therapists for all of their ethical violations and professional incompetence. These are apparently the first public reviews of their kind in our country, through which I hope to get the ball rolling for similar criticism for other victims of unethical therapy and quackery masquerading as therapy; to raise awareness about how inadequate and potentially harmful therapy is, in a social context where our therapists have been appearing on talk shows prattling flippantly about how everyone should have a family psychologist just like everyone has a family GP and how it's a shame that young people are reading self-help books instead of turning to experts like them; and to shatter the lay illusion that psychotherapy is a panacea for all psychological problems and that the only obstacle preventing people in our country from resolving their psychological problems is the supposed stigmatisation of therapy by older generations.

I hope that at least some current or potential therapy clients will find what I wrote useful. I am also glad that I already received validating responses from the owners of the centres, assuring me that they would take a close look at the issues I raised, that they were already reviewing my case, inviting me for a meeting in person, offering me a session another psychologist as compensation, etc. Of course, I don't really believe them - they'll probably protect their own internally and are writing fake apologies in response to my reviews only for the sake of their reputation. However, even that's good enough at this stage - the fact that they're responding that way means at the very least that they've understood that they can't do whatever they want to clients with no repercussions whatsoever. At least they'll get a bad review which blows the whistle on how shamelessly they treat neurodivergent clients. Maybe the next time a difficult client like me turns up in their offices, they'll think twice about how they approach him.

"You're so hard on yourself" - Thanks, I'm hard on myself because I don't feel shame at all talking about myself in this way, I can analyse myself in an objective manner a lot of the time because I am cut off from my feelings, so it doesn't feel bad to do this.

"This feels weird because you're not used to it" - I've been attempting therapy for over a year now, with 3 different therapists, so what am I supposed to do?

"It could be the neurodivergence being a part of it but maybe it's just the freeze response" - So why hasn't coming here or using your tools helped with it much then?

"You're so self-aware" - Thanks, I can intellectually analyse myself without processing emotions or getting better because there's a disconnect between my body and brain.

I feel like I'm at my wits end. Struggling with trauma, ADHD, dissociation, emotional numbness. I either feel angry or numb. No therapist knows how to help with this. They just recommend breathing bullshit which just makes me feel bored. I honestly don't even know what I'm looking for anymore. I suspect I have autism too, getting assessed next month. Can any fellow neurodivergents relate to this. I feel so isolated with all of this.

edit I’m not asking what to do, I’m asking what one should do for themselves when they get this bad, should it happen to me again.

Not a close friend.

He shared a heartbreaking Facebook status (I used to share a lot of those…it’s such a sad feeling when one resorts to social media) and of course someone mentions therapy. I’ve had such a visceral reaction to that, as you may have guessed.

The truth is, when you’re that depressed what the hell do you exactly do? I don’t like the idea of anyone waiting it out by themselves.

I know labels shouldn’t be important, but I am really having trouble healing or talking about this without a label. I got thrown into an abusive residential program when I was a teen. My therapist got hired on and I met him and connected well with him talking to me. One day in the er he got sent to sit with me and we talked all day and played cards together. Don’t really remember specifics. I wasn’t his client yet. He may have placed me in a few restraints before I became his client I’m not sure. I transferred to being his client pretty quickly. He continued restraining me pretty often, usually with a motivating factor but the restraints were really inappropriate. I would basically be cuddling with him or in his lap is the best way I could describe and a lot of them were alone just me and him. Like I remember one where we both were against the wall he was kind of wrapped around me. So many of my memory’s are repressed especially about the specifics of these restraints. One memory that makes me want to vomit, I was sitting at the table shaking. That place made my ptsd really bad. He sat with me and put his hand on my arm and I said sorry I’m shaking and he said it’s okay I’m just going to keep my hand there. It just makes me want to vomit looking back it just feels so intimate. I know there were instances that he rubbed me in comforting ways, I honestly don’t remember too many specifics. He held my hands a lot during sessions and always pulled right up to me with his rolling chair and our legs would nearly be touching. I don’t remember a lot of our sessions. He would ask me to hand over sharps during them though and I kept the sharps in my underwear, and he would hold my hands afterwards. I just feel really gross about the fact that I pulled them out of my bra and underwear in front of him and then like he was touching me even if it was just holding hands. But like maybe that wasn’t sexual for him at all. I just don’t know why he always decided after that was a good time to hold my hands. I don’t know. I loved him. I got so close to him there. There’s a lot of emotional manipulation that went on and he was very manipulative towards me. It’s all like way too much to write out on this post and a lot of the emotional stuff is also repressed and I can’t remember. Some people I’ve talked to think he was grooming me based on the stuff he was saying to me which I can’t even remember right now (hopefully when I do trauma work). Honestly, I feel so invalid. This man FUCKED me up. Like I’ve been through so much trauma in my life and nothing quite has fucked me up in the way that he did. He FUCKED ME UP. Like but as far as a I can remember like he didn’t rape me or like touch my vagina or anything and so like I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m so traumatized by what happened but it doesn’t seem that bad. Like it shouldn’t have messed me up that bad. I’ve been through worse. I don’t know what’s going on here. It fucked me up like sorry I keep saying that but I want to emphasize like this man killed my soul. He ruined me. I got beat by my parents and both emotionally and physically abused by them my whole life and bullied in school and cocsa as a kid I got put in psych wards and restrained and abused in those I’ve been sexually emotionally and physically abused in those all psych wards and shit and nothing has quite affected me like this shit that went down with this man. Am I just like insane and dramatic? Like I don’t know. He would say things like that to me so maybe he put that in my head? He would tell me I was playing games on multiple occasions and like I just remember being a confused as fuck kid. I wish I could include more about what he did but it’s all so repressed. But like I don’t think he ever like actually raped me or overtly sexually abused me. And honestly? I feel like everything that happened between me and him was my fault. Because I liked it when he touched me. I don’t like it now but in the moment I thought it felt so good. I became addicted to it and I wanted him to like continue touching me. I had never felt any sort of intimacy or touch beyond a hug before. Never. And even hugs I barely ever was hugged as a child and definitely not by my parents more like a one off occasion here and there. I didn’t know how good it felt to be touched and like he would touch me and I liked it and FUCK like I feel like it’s all my fault and I was asking for it. Anyways. So sorry for all of that, if anyone has input I’d greatly appreciate it.

I'm trying to create an accurate overview on my blog about what constitutes bad therapy. Here are some examples:

• Insisting on a specific path to recovery that doesn't resonate with you
• Not challenging your views enough
• Being too challenging of your views, so you don't feel heard or understood
• Pushing you too far out of your window of tolerance
• Excessive projecting and accusations (as Dr. Ramani is often accused of) (creating splitting in people's black/white thinking - just creating more anger towards the world)
• Placing too much weight on you without trying to understand your intentions or views
• Getting too personal and sharing their own stories/feelings inappropriately
• Rushing to diagnose or overdiagnose (keeping intense track of diagnostic criteria)
• Using your diagnosis as a single lens through which to view your thinking

What can you add to the list of bad practices or setbacks in recovery?

___________________________
EDIT: Thank you so much for your comments and perspectives! Im sure there are so many more from all of our experienses, after exposure to an overly powerholding position, as what some therapist engange in.

I'ts SOO healing to read it for my own 'recovery'-work from my earlier therapist, Haha.

TL;DR -- My therapist had a mental break on me, called me during it in which I had to call the police on her, she was mentally hospitalized, tried to convince me to keep doing therapy, and is now trying to get me to pay her $1600 because my insurance didn't cover our sessions because she submitted the claim with the wrong billing address. also have reason to believe she wasn't registered in my state while we were doing therapy.

THIS WILL BE LONG, SORRY!

I met my therapist, who I'll call Joan, in the Spring of 2023 through Rula (online service connecting you to therapists). I live in VA, she lives in NC, but she is registered to do therapy in VA as she used to live here. She helped me out, SO much. I cannot believe how much I've grown and I have a lot of that to thank to her. I also was doing group therapy with her, and one other client, who I'll call Lena (though one or two other people would pass through). This past June, Joan said she was leaving Rula because of how much of a cut they take from her sessions -- I thought, okay that makes sense! I want her to be paid fairly.

In October, Joan said she and her son were going to start up a homestead, and that she'd be selling her house so she'd need to take two weeks off. I thought it was a little weird, but didn't think too much about it. I travel a lot for work, so have to take my own weeks off from therapy and group sometimes.

In December, I had to travel for work on Tuesdays, when we had group. I had let Joan know, but she still texted me that day asking if we had group -- I said no, she said okay thanks. That Thursday, I was back home and we were supposed to have our one-on-one session. She didn't show. She normally was late, which I was used to, but she didn't show. I thought maybe something was up with her wifi since she had moved into a trailer after selling her house. Next Tuesday, she also didn't show up for group, which Lena and I both thought was weird. Lena said she had seen her the previous Tuesday, and that she seemed fine.

The next day, Joan texted in a group chat with Lena and I, "I was kidnapped in trailer." Obviously, Lena and I were both freaking out, so I gave Joan a call. She picked up and sounded SO rough, she said that her husband (who, was her ex husband but she still called her husband, I don't really get it but whatever) had been holding her hostage. She was yelling at him on the phone with me, and I was really worried for her safety. I told her I was going to call the police, and got my mom to call as well. I called Joan back after calling the police to tell her that they were coming by for a wellness check. She requested to facetime me, which I accepted, and she looked terrible -- her hair was so messy and she didn't have her dentures in. I asked her if she needed anything, and she said I needed to contact Lena and one of her other clients (she gave me her full name, but not phone or email so I had no way of getting in touch with her). She told me she was going to the hospital and was "in trauma" and I asked her to keep me posted.

I didn't hear from her for almost two weeks. I found out from calling the hospitals in her area as well as calling the officer who did her wellness check that she had been checked into a mental facility. When she finally emailed Lena and I, she apologized. She then emailed all of her clients (the email was sent to me, and cc'ed all her other clients, so we could all see each ohers names) apologizing and saying we would resume the 7th. I emailed her and thanked her for her help, but that I thought I should find another therapist. She said she thought we could work through it and said, "We're all just humans, Claire." I felt really dismissed so I said no once again. She invited me to one final group and even got Lena to ask me to come. I said no because I knew I would feel immense guilt for not staying because I do believe she feels bad about the situation.

Maybe 10 days later she emails me that my insurance didn't cover our sessions and that I needed to pay her for $1400. I looked at the bill and she had charged me for the sessions she missed before and while she was in the hospital. I said please correct this, and I'll pay. I checked with my insurance for an explanation of benefits and they said the only reason the insurance was denied was because Joan had put in the incorrect biling address. I texted her, Joan, just resubmit with the correct billing address.

This is where I get sketched out. The week prior, I had met with a new therapist off of Rula because I NEEDED to talk to someone about this. I felt like I had been thrown around like a doll and had major whiplash. My new therapist was able to see her profile through Rula and said to me, "it doesn't look like Joan had been registered in VA since June, when therapists are required to renew their licenses." When I got this charge, I asked my new therapist to take a look at her profile on Rula and she said, "she seems to be registered now, but I swear last week when we were doing our session, she wasn't registered."

I can't help but wonder if she submitted the claim with the wrong billing address because she knew she wasn't registered in VA at the time. Anyway, Joan texted me saying she would check with my insurance but was requesting that, in the meantime, I pay the (now) $1600, and that she would reimburse me once my insurance got back to her. She said, "The reason I am asking you to do this is they owe me over $20,000 for a client I had and never paid me. I did everything they asked me to do. I had to send them each one of the notes from each of her sessions. I saw her for over 2 years, and in the end they never paid me with no explanation."

And that's it. I haven't responded to her since, but a lot of people are suggesting I report her. I feel bad doing so, because she really did help me so much. But this is really bad behavior on her part, right?

I (33F) have been working with my therapist for 3.5 years to address an eating disorder and some other trauma. The first two years were great and I made a lot of progress. Therapist got a divorce at some point during this time and unexpectedly lost her mom. She took a few months off and I saw someone else in the interim. When she came back things were significantly different than before. She shared A LOT about her personal life and while I can appreciate disclosure when it’s beneficial it seems our sessions were more about her than me.

After a few months this got to be too much so I told her I felt I was ready to step back from therapy a bit and see if I could stand on my own. I ended up having a really hard time and went back to regular visits. When I went back she told me she was hurt that I hadn’t talked to her about doing less therapy and that she felt I was “self-sabotaging.”

My eating disorder behaviors are completely resolved and I’ve been symptom free for months. She still feels I need to be seen. At our last appointment she had a maintenance man in her apartment who could hear our telehealth session.

I want to be done with therapy but I don’t want to upset her or make her feel like I’m not grateful for her help. I just think maybe I’m getting worse because of her oversharing and lack of professional boundaries.

I wanted to share some thoughts on my experiences with therapy and outline what I see as major issues in the field. I´m interested about changes that could make therapy more helpful, transparent, and accountable for everyone involved. I’ll be referring to all mental health workers as “therapists” for simplicity, though I know this applies to other mental health professionals too. 

1. The Methodologies 

From my personal experience, I haven’t benefited from the therapeutic methods I’ve tried. I personally find basically just be placebo effects and, in some cases, feel gaslighted by them. That said, I don’t want to invalidate anyone who has found these methods helpful. If they work for you, that’s great—keep doing what makes you feel better. But I don’t believe it’s accurate to say that these methodologies are “scientific” in a strict sense. 

While mental illnesses clearly exist and can be studied scientifically, the research around therapy methodologies is often insufficient, contradictory, or just poorly conducted. I’m not saying therapy shouldn’t exist, but I do believe therapists should be upfront about its experimental nature. Being transparent about what we do and don’t know would build more trust between therapists and clients. 

2. The Power Imbalance 

This is a tough one, but I think a few steps could help address the power imbalance inherent in therapy: 

• Refunds: Therapy is a service, and like any other service, clients should have the right to demand refunds if they feel it didn’t meet their expectations. 

• Informed Consent: Therapists should be required to explain the risks of therapy, what it might demand from you, and what you may have to sacrifice before starting. Clients deserve to go into therapy with their eyes wide open. 

• Notetaking Transparency: Many therapists act like it’s a betrayal when clients ask to see their notes, but I think this should be normalized. Reviewing notes together would: 

  • Help keep both therapist and client on the same page

  • Ensure accuracy and give clients a say in what ends up in the notes

  • Potentially expose unethical or abusive behavior earlier

Right now, therapists have full control over the notes they take, and there’s no accountability for how those notes are written or whether they accurately reflect what happened. Reviewing them together semi regularly could help balance that. 

• Therapy Plans: Therapists should be required to create and share a plan with the patient at the start of therapy, detailing how they intend to help. This plan should include clear goals and a timeframe for when improvement might be expected. If the patient hasn’t made progress within the agreed timeframe, the therapist and patient should revisit the plan, discuss its effectiveness (or lack thereof), and adjust it as needed

This approach would normalize regular discussions about whether therapy is working, which can be difficult for patients to bring up on their own. If progress is slower than expected but both agree that continuing on the same path makes sense (e.g., because trust took longer to establish), the timeframe can be adjusted. The key is that patients should be actively included in creating and updating their therapy plans. 

3. Documentation & Recordings 

My last therapist recorded all our sessions (audio only) to improve the quality of therapy. I initially felt nervous about it, but I got used to it pretty quickly, and I even started to appreciate the idea—until I found out they deleted the recordings pretty quickly. When I later asked for them as proof for a complaint, they were already gone. 

I think mandatory session recordings could help hold therapists accountable. These recordings could be treated like therapy notes: kept for a certain amount of time and available to clients upon request. Destroying or failing to make recordings could be punishable. 

I’m curious how others feel about this. Would you mind being recorded? Or would it give you some reassurance? Personally, I think it would provide valuable evidence in cases of unethical behavior. 

4. Therapy as One Option, Not the Only Option 

Therapy is often held up as the solution for mental health issues, but I think we need to move away from that mindset. Therapy isn’t for everyone, and it shouldn’t be treated as the only path to healing. Instead, it should be seen as one tool among many that people can use to improve their mental health. 

I also believe therapy shouldn’t drive a wedge between people and their existing support systems. If anything, it should strengthen those relationships, not replace them. 

5. Complaint Handling 

Therapists shouldn’t be the ones reviewing complaints about their peers. It’s a conflict of interest, and there’s too much incentive to protect their colleagues. Complaints should be handled by an independent body of professionals with no interest in defending therapists. 

Of course, therapist insight might still be necessary in certain cases, but they shouldn’t be the decision-makers. An independent review process would give clients a fairer shot at being heard and could lead to more meaningful consequences for unethical behavior. 

(Im hearing really different opinions on the effectivness of complaints, so this is based on my experience) 

6. Feedback & Accountability 

I feel like many therapists assume they’ve helped their clients, even when that’s not the case. I hate knowing that some of my ex-therapists probably think they made a positive difference when they didn’t. 

I’d love to see therapists gather feedback more systematically. For example, tracking how many clients felt helped after therapy and how many still feel that way a year later. This wouldn’t even have to be public—it could just be used as personal feedback for therapists and to help address complaints about therapy quality. Ideally, this data could help therapists improve their methods or recognize when they aren’t helping as much as they think. 

I know this wouldn´t help with therapists, who may pray on vulnerable people, but i hope for this to help with the many therapists who are just very ignorant at how mediocre they are and how much damage they do accidentally. Maybe with these numbers that would be more difficult to ignore. 

These are just some thoughts based on my own experiences and what i read on this subreddit, but I’d love to hear what others think. Do you agree or disagree with any of these points? Would you feel comfortable as a patient with these changes? How do you think therapy could be improved?  

I had a traumatic childhood with violent parents. Parents that did not want to be parents so when I developed OCD from PTSD, they took me to a therapist. They were basically paying someone to do their job. This “therapist” happened to be a psychiatrist too so we were meeting 2/3 times a month for one hour and a half and then all of a sudden I was prescribed an antipsychotic, one antidepressant and other stuff. After doing experiments with me, the gentle abuser who used our time to talk about his kids and private life (basically comparing me to them and then meeting with my parents for the remaining 30mins) decided to discard me. I went to see the other therapist he recommended me (who literally insulted me while talking and I was like 15 at the time) and I had the biggest panic attack E V E R. My mother decided to take me to another one who helped a little bit but when I tell you the whole process was DEHUMANISING. Suddenly you’re stripped of your privacy, thoughts, free will. You’re a teen so you have to take the meds (I will admit that zoloft did in fact help my ocd and I was left just with that), you have to talk about what you’re feeling while the REASON you’re there (your parents) act like the victim. So yeah, that’s my testimony. It was traumatic. It was intense. I tried to go to therapy as an adult and it was better in terms of “privacy” and stuff, but I don’t ever want to see a therapist like that.

It legitimately scares me when I see people, mostly online, but sometimes offline, say things akin to "I was sleep-deprived, beaten, assaulted, tied up to a bed, called the most derogatory names, etc., etc. (you name it), and as a neurodivergent (depressed, anxious, etc., etc.) that is very sensitive to noise and light, as well as to touch, it really hurt me".

NO. DON'T DO THAT. PLEASE.

You were hurt by it because it's called torture and assault. Being hurt by torture and assault is very normal. It's not a result of your mental illness! It might be "abnormal" if you are feeling extremely hurt by a stranger accidentally brushing over your shoulder as they walk past you, or if you need to sleep for two whole days after riding a packed train during rush hour. That can be a result of neurodivergency. You being hurt by someone beating you up or shouting death threats at you is normal. Your "abnormal" sensitivities, if you have them otherwise, are irrelevant here, because NOBODY will or should be okay with assault.

Please don't normalise the idea that being hurt and reacting when someone is directly harming you is somehow a result of "a different brain", and "a normal brain" would just take it with a smile. Because the social implications are absolutely wild here. Don't do that to others and yourself!

Less scary, but same with wanting your friends to act like your friends, and your partner to like you and clearly show it. You are 100% normal if you want to be close with people who like you and not to be close with people who don't like you. It's not "BPD" or "autism". It's much weirder if you are cool with your friends and partners being dicks to you. Of course if every small disagreement with your people makes you assume they are literal devils incarnated and their next move would be to butcher you with a knife, yes, that might be a sign that there is an issue at hand. But getting mad that someone betrayed you is not a sign that you are "not normal".

Beside that, I will keep saying this:

do not go out of your way to let others know your "abnormal" sensitivities, if you have any, are a result of a certain mental issue. State what you want, and imply that your judgement of the situation is the right one. In 95% of cases you have much better chances with a "I think it's too bright in here, it is difficult to concentrate in this environment. Can we move to another room? You might find it nicer there too. It has great comfy cushions" than with anything that involves persuading the other person that you have a specific mental issue. Stigma aside, in the first case you need to persuade the other person of two things only:

• the room is too bright and it affects everyone's ability to concentrate.

• it won't hurt to move to another room.

In the second case you need to persuade the person that:

• you really have the mental issue you are stating you have

• your perception of reality caused by your mental issue is more important than how they perceive reality

• you find the room too bright

• it won't hurt to move to the other room.

Don't put any additional burden of proof on yourself!

I've done CBT, gestalt, cognitive analytic therapy, hypnotherapy, and I feel like they all didn't differ at all, other than they seemed like just casual conversations that I could have without even paying.

I am perplexed when I see psychologists online discussing approaches and saying how each of them should be implemented, and most of the time it seems that these concepts are never really put into practice, as if they were a "pretend" that only exists in the part theory of his profession.

I could say that I've seen exceptions to this, but personally, I've never seen a psychologist who really had a commitment that demonstrated any slight difference.

So, after years of looking for another therapist after my last one ghosted me I found a therapist that offers group therapy. Not the ideal for me, but I was willing to give it a try.

The first session was okay. 90 minutes of sitting in a room with strangers isn't my favorite, but I managed.

Then, the second session came last Monday. There was a new patient that introduced himself with his name and the fact that he SA'd someone. My whole world stopped and I felt the colour drain from my face. The only other reaction to that was a "Wow, that is so brave of you to tell us that!" from another patient. No comment from the therapist. The patient said he's there to learn how to live with the guilt of sexually assaulting someone. I have a few choice words for that but I'm keeping them to myself for now.

The third session was last night, I already had a weird feeling in my gut and wanted to cancel but the therapist didn't pick up when I tried to call, so against my better judgement I went. Now to preface this: I have experienced severe abuse from childhood on, all kinds of abuse. Emotional, physical and sexual. That's why I was there. To talk about that trauma and seek help, because I know I need it.

I was already bracing myself for confronting the therapist for allowing an abuser there, despite knowing she has patients that are survivors. But I asked the patient directly if he was the victim of that assault or the perpetrator.

As soon as he said he was the perpetrator I broke out in tears and started to hyperventilate. The therapist didn't intervene, just stared at me while I was crying my eyes out and explaining why I can't stay there.

Here's what she then said to me: "But why do you want to leave? This would be an opportunity for you to heal!" "You don't even know what he did." "But he's not your abuser."

Another patient had to intervene and tell me it's okay for me to just leave without saying goodbye.

Being in a room with someone that sexually assaulted another person is not an opportunity for me to heal. It's a huge trigger that I cannot deal with. How am I supposed to open up about how I was SA'd when there's a perpetrator right there?

It's Tuesday morning now and I'm still so angry. I left the building in a hurry and walked away as fast as I could till I found a good spot to sit down and cry it out.

I will 100% report the therapist for her behavior. I'm so angry and tired.

I've been having issues with my EMDR therapist. To make a long story short she has essentially dropped me as a client, but is denying it and claiming nothing is wrong and she supports me and she's always there for me. Except I can't make any new appointments. She has vaguely said she will see me when my ADHD is not as much of an issue but won't give me any concrete goals.

I'm autistic and I am not very aware of my own emotions. I don't know if I technically have alexithymia or not and I don't know how that is measured. But my therapist seems to think I'm supposed to know which of my traumas are most significant and what I'm supposed to focus on and how long I'm supposed to focus on it. I'm frustrated with this because I do not know. I feel like while I need to make my own decisions to a reasonable extent, I could use some guidance here.

This same therapist, when I first began seeing her decided that the first trauma I would focus on is previous negative experiences in therapy during EMDR reprocessing. I should have seen this as a red flag because I do not regard this as one of my biggest traumas in life and would have never chosen it as a subject of EMDR. So it's ironic that she now seems unwilling to provide guidance on what I should focus on. She also complains I am "therapy resistant" and that I am unfocused, but ADHD is one of the things I'm in therapy about.

So I guess I want feedback on how many of these therapy related decisions like what to focus on in EMDR are supposed to be entirely within my hands. I don't need reassurance that my therapist is bad because I know that already and I suppose I need a new one. I am looking for feedback on how the hell this process is supposed to work. How much am I supposed to be directing it versus the therapist directing it? If you think I am off base in any way you can have my permission to tell me.

My sister has a therapist who is very good at guiding the sessions and keeping them on track, especially when multiple people are present. I feel like I could use someone like this, but when asked directly, my current therapist said she does not want the responsibility of telling me what to do.

I think if I get a new therapist, one of the first things I will tell them is I have bad experiences with past therapists and bad experiences with authority in general, and if they can't handle that they shouldn't talk to me. I'll phrase it a bit more nicely than that but I think I should say something. It's frustrating that someone who specifically deals with trauma is making complaints about me being therapy resistant and not believing in therapy hard enough. I'm not constantly seething about my bad past experiences in therapy and it hasn't kept me from pursuing treatment, and I don't think I should have to have 100% faith in the process. If someone tells me to try "visualizing my feelings in a box" I feel like I should be allowed to say "I'm not confident this will work" without being labeled an impossible client.

it is blaming you for being unhappy.

when you are being abused, it is your fault. therapists believe it is their task to make you see that. you were being ra*ed, mugged, beaten, whatever? your fault. when you have difficult feelings towards such an incidence: your fault or your parents fault.

they just don't like doing any work. they don't want to hear difficult or unjust things against you or whatever nonsense they believe about the world, so they want to make you stop by blaming you. when they want to try some exercises, they first blame you and then tell you you need to do them in order to be less blamed. ususally, those exercises don't work or are completely unrelated to your issues, then they blame you for that they are not working or they just blame you for not improving. they hope that you praise them and hold them in high esteem and absolutely don't care about your health and well being and espexially not about your real issues.

Just thinking of all the jobs I had, where every single one enforced me to talk with empathy with customers or apologize and make up for something if I messed up. But I have started thinking about how therapy is the one profession that doesn't do this.

Therapists are not required to apologize. Therapists are not required to explain a single thing they say. They are actually not required to do anything if I'm being honest. Literally, they can technically say whatever they want.

They straight up can get away with murder. I have had therapists give up on me from the start, and even proclaim that I can never actually be helped while they don't even give an effort. Like I want to just ignore it, but I can't help but think if I actually gave up like they implied for me, would they actually be held responsible? And then, I've even heard of therapists admit their colleagues were responsible for their clients' suicides, but apparently were never held accountable.

I mean I remember being in Chik-fil-a, the bosses would openly enforce all employees to say "my pleasure" after everything, and apologize for any mistakes made, or you could even be fired. And then I think, even fast-food workers are held to a higher standard than therapists?

It just feels so hopeless, like therapists have the freedom to really do anything without any repercussions?