i have a few thoughts:

What other industry lets you open a 'business' with zero experience in running a business or experience in that industry. Where the business owner has zero oversight over their business, zero reporting, zero check ins from a regulatory agency. You don't need an office space, you don't need to public post your policies, practices, profits/loss, tax id, legal information, your own LLC is held in secret from your 'employers' aka clients/patients. You can work from home, work on zoom, never have an actual physical building or office and no one knows where you are.

Its like some weird matrix shit. They demand to know where the 'client' is but the therapist can be anywhere. They worry about 'boundaries' yet everything is a secret. They worry about all the wrong things.

They worry about a few dollars a month for secure internet yet they only want to work via internet. They don't realize anyone can hack into their connection, anyone can take over their video chat. Its not if zoom gets hacked, its when zoom gets hacked. they take it so personal when a client records a session, but wtf is zoom? wtf is their EHR? thats being stored somewhere- what happens when they hop from EHR to EHR, personal info is now stored in so many different places- we know the internet is NOT going away. How do I know they aren't recording, how do I know their 'work at home' is hipaa complaint? and NO you can not have an infant at home with another adult and do therapy via zoom. no you can not exercise and zoom. no you can not.... whatever you are going to ask NO

do they realize not having an office puts undue stress on the client to find a 'safe and secure location' every session? part of therapy is the office, the location, the interaction with a human. not everyone likes talking to a computer.

Heres a clue: if you can't 'afford' proper internet then you cant afford your business. if you cant afford a desk/chair/filing cabinet then you CANT AFFORD to start a business. if you can't afford rent, then you CANT AFFORD to start a business. if you dont know how to keep track of your income- you are really shitty at running a business. if you dont know how to apply for a business license then you either failed how to google or dont need to be running a business. YOU ARE RUNNING A PLACE OF BUSINESS- that means you might , oh what the hell, you might need to work a bit. a business can not survive on 12 hours a week. a business can not survive on 15 hours a week. I know thats difficult to believe. No one is asking you to be bill gates or jeff bezos but you might have some 12 hour DAYS!

you are a therapist, you own a business, you are not a victim here. this is not a difficult concept. you are a therapist, not a brain surgeon, not arguing before the courts, not an engineer, you are a therapist. you have a masters degree FFS. you are placed in charge of peoples lives!! you are supposed to be able to help other people figure shit out, how can you do that if you cant figure your own shit out!! Who the hell gave you the masters degree?? who the hell let you graduate high school!!

signed one pissed off human who works their ass off and is just looking for a bit of compassion right now

there are a lot of seemingly easy to do things that just seem really insurmountable for me. but for any other person they would be easy. and i feel really guilty about that and like something is broken inside of me. i just can't bring myself to do things that i need to do.

i don't buy into the concept that i have some invisible illness that stops me from doing things. i have tired tons of psych pills and they only made me worse in every way.

idk why its so hard for me. it makes me feel horrible about myself. and worthless. i just wish ppl could do some things for me.

ig the only explanation is that im just too depressed and give up on things cause i don't really see the point in it. but if i share that with ppl they say that well i have flawed thinking and that i just need to see the truth and all the other therapy talk.

for example, i should voice train so i can speak with a different sounding voice for part of my gender transition but i was getting frustrated with it and i just gave up. or like i have to eat more food to have a heathy calorie intake but there's not a lot of food i like and some days cooking is just too much. even if its as small as like microwaving something. so i just don't eat. or i should have learned to drive but i just refuse to do that process cause it takes too long and so much shame and embarrassment because i could have done it sooner and i didn't because idk.

its so easy. right? just do the thing. what's stopping me? i don't know. i just give up. therapy "advice" just makes me feel worse and hate myself even more for being so extremely incompetent and a loser.

Anyone else been mandated to these court mandated therapy? It feel like they milking the people for money ans giving 15 minute sessions and charging for a hour. Why are these people not charged with fraud?

Hello, I am gonna be telling the details of what turned out to be one of the most traumatic experiences of my life and it has affected me a lot.
I started taking therapy around last year in the month of April and I was diagnosed with PTSD, Overthinking and anxiety attacks. I was adviced by the psychologist to take meds because it would help me in the treatment and allow me to recover and not go into the loop holes.
I liked the sessions, A lot of my issues were cleared because of traumatic childhood and I gained my confidence back, really felt alive again, Really liked it.
In the month of June, My psychologist's father passed away and it was tough on her, because losing a parent is one of the most painful moments of your life. I was really grateful for her because of what she had to done to my life, being someone who was bullied in school and was physically and mentally abused by parents, for the first time, I really felt alive again. So I really wanted to help her during these tough moments, I remember sending her cupcakes just so that she can smile for a little bit and I used to ask her how she has been, and when i mean i really wanted to help her, I genuinely wanted to help her, mainly because one of the reasons that motivated me to go to therapy was, my bestfriend's death. So I knew how painful it is to deal with a loss.
During one session, my psychologist cried in front of me and I gave her a hug with some good words "wherever your dad is, he was proud to have you as her daughter", and that moment was over but in the upcoming sessions, the dynamic of the therapuetic relationship changed quickly, She started telling me about her past and how she was facing a physical abuse in her marriage, how painful it was for her etc. So I started with consoling her, and what started with hugs, ended up with a lot of forehead kisses and close intimate moments.
CAUTION :- I do not mean any sexual reference her, things like kissing and all never happened.
A lot of sessions where I used to sit around and listen to her, and give her close hugs and forhead kisses, and same happened from her side whenever i had some bad experiences. The twist came up when I realised I was emotionally attached to her after sometime, because I never have had these close intimate relationship with someone in my life, So i geniunely started feeling attached. I never meant anything to be sexual, attachment and attractiveness are different for me. I just liked being close to her and both of us comforting each other. My treatment just disappeard and therapy ended for me in the middle of these things.
As my therapy ended, I still wanted to see her, I genuinely wanted to meet her and stay connected, she stopped charging me for sessions. Now the problem came here, as soon as my therapy ended, she stopped caring, I first used to text her in between weeks to check up on her, But the texts were left on seen, then she used to tell me to call her whenever i faced some issues, I used to call, but calls went unanswered, this continued on for weeks, months, I started double texting, just because I really wanted to know if she was okay but 50 percent of the time, I was ghosted, sometimes my texts were answered. Now, a little bit about me, I have trouble communicating about my needs in a relationship, because mainly of my past where my parents abused me when i stood up and same with school friends. I wouldn't ever confront someone if they were doing wrong to me.
I somehow got the courage after months (3-4), to talk about this issue that was all this just a one time thing where she was vulnerable at one moment so she started the unprofessional things which happened between us, and never meant to stay connected with me?
All she said was that i was wrong, its nothing like that, she is busy with her work and family, to which i really understood because how her family was, but still, I used to see her social media hanging out and yet to me, she was busy all the time, It all felt one sided, and just to clue you guys in, if i stopped texting her, I knew the day would come where she wouldnt even text back from herself that where i was, and why did i stopped texting, The relationship became toxic for me, what started with a close relationship now became a torture for me, I chased her attention like crazy, again I still never had any sexual for her, but i still craved her attention and thats when i realised that she was pretty clever from the start, has ever happened in your life where u just get a clever vibe from a person because of his/her way of talking and doing things? and even though these things are personal, my id is anonymous so i would like to draw you guys to her personality, she cheated on her husband who physically abused her, and it turned out bad for her, the guy she cheated with, told her husband about the things she did, and in general events, she sounded narcisstic and egoistic alot, she never blamed herself for the things, now i dont want to say that she is not suffering, she suffered a lot. But its just the vibe of hers that gave me negative impressions. Now, cut to present, I try to go no contact with her, but end up messaging her and to which i get seenzoned again and gives me a hard time.
I am genuinely looking for advices here, I know i need to walk away with my selfrespect but at the same time, she is the first ever person i came this close to, hard for me to accept that this was all a one time thing and she never really wanted any of it after one point of time. I have thought of going to other therapists but now i just feel so traumatized by therapy clinics because of how this particular one ended. It has given me a lot of bad days where i just cry in the bed because ? I dont know how to express but I really felt used, I want to confront her again but then her answer is always the same, she is busy and how her family is traumatizing. Please help, I want to move out of this loophole, and forget her / confront her, what should I do ?

After weeks of disputes, conversations and complaining about a certain NHS therapy service for personality disorder the UK, I finally told them to discharge me from their service as I couldn't take any more of their ignorance, incompetence and uselessness that was causing me more distress than was necessary.

Feeling much better without them... but what happens now? I feel alone again.

I made a previous post on here where I explained my situation with my therapist who has recently really hurt me. The issue is that she’s been very helpful to me in other ways such as helping me identify narcissistic abuse in my family which caused me to be very symptomatic pretty much my entire life. But the issue now is that she’s basically inflicting very similar “abuse” with gaslighting me because she doesn’t want to feel ashamed of hurting me which she did, which is exactly like my family lol. So I’m really stuck. I’m afraid to stop going and I’m afraid to continue to go. I don’t know what to do. Any help would be appreciated

The last one thought I was making drama when I was a child wanting friends,( I was almost killing my self ) This one believes in that I talk to spirits and like to put her religious views in conversations and you must agree with her

I hope my parents try to put me in a really good one, because this one is connected by family relationships

Help

https://www.madinamerica.com/2023/05/should-everyone-be-in-therapy/

Tdlr: they discuss a study, where Therapy was proven to actually be more harmful to people with zero to mild mental stress, than helpful.

My abuse ended in September of 21. For the last two and a half years I have tried 7 different therapist but have had zero luck in finding someone. I feel like I have a tremendous amount of unresolved baggage from my abuse that I have never worked thru, I’ve just suppressed it.
Was therapy useful in helping any of you recover from your abuse? How would you say it was useful?

thoughts?

I'll admit I might've gone too far in my philosophical quest 👁

I've been in therapy off and on for almost 13 years. I have been with my current one since October 2022. He's supposed to be helping me with Mood issues, OCD, processing, anger etc. I was gunna do DBT last year but things came up. I finally got in and have been in a DBT Group since October 2023, I go once a week for 3 hours and I'm supposed to finish at the end of this month. Anyone familiar knows the rules and just how inflexible they are. I was 40 minutes late to the most recent one due to an emergency, and instead of skipping I went late which causes me anxiety. The one before I was asked to not come even though I drove there due to illness. Before that one I was sick. So I'm at 3. Everyone voted me out. My therapist basically interrogated me and asked if I could have changed shit or think of it differently? When I literally couldn't change anything. Shit happens. And I feel like he's fucking with my brain. So I spoke to his manager. And I either drop out or do a MisSiNg LiNk in group. I'm fucking furious. I try so hard and this shit happens. I'm so tempted to just end it now.

So, I go to a virtual support group weekly. I struggle with how "safe" it is to truly vent in these situations.

I will own that my situation, what I was rambling about, is severe, and I was probably becoming overwhelmed with anger about people outside of the group.

I will own that people were trying to help, and I was inappropriately shutting them down.

On the other hand, I think what I was upset about was I didn't understand why they didn't recognize I just needed to "let it out." I have to repress my emotions constantly, and have nowhere else to be authentic.

Enter judgemental comments like ,"you're retraumatizing yourself" and "you're just repeating the same thing over and over".

Talking about it isn't retraumatizing, I relive it every moment of the day and stuff it down.

I will probably repeat myself because I have OCD.

So what exactly do you do in support groups? Just placate and patronize like everywhere else?

Is it any wonder nobody is actually healing, being that there's no real processing of emotions going on?

Has anyone reported their therapist to the licensing board? If yes, how long did it take for them to investigate and to hold the therapist accountable?

1. I no longer have a reflexive knee jerk trust towards someone in authority and see the flaws in credentialism. Hypervigilance can also be seen as a downside but you do tend to have your guard up which is a good thing for us but predators hate it since they can't manipulate you as easily.

2. More self assured. You realize you aren't broken and that no one has the answers. We're all fucked up and the "professionals" are just faking it too. I feel proud that i'm self aware enough to see through the bullshit.

3. I have less patience towards controlling, apathetic and or nasty people and stick up for myself more. This is admittedly also a bad thing as even my family mentioned i am easily annoyed/bad tempered lately (post therapy).

4. Feel enlightened. Visiting this subreddit has been so educational. It gives such insight, articulates feelings and human behaviors. This journey got off to a rough start but i believe we can all help each other. Like Plato's allegory of leaving the cave or taking the red pill from the Matrix. We swallow harsh truths whilst the rest of society pops blue pills like tic tacs and doubles down on toxic positivity.

5. Willing to help others and have the empathy from shared pain. What you really need is someone who has the same experiences as you. I'm vastly more sympathetic towards others and a man of the people. I feel like if therapists abuse enough of us then there will be a change in society. Look at priests, they could only get away with it for so long. There has to be a mass awakening and the start is us. The sub at the time of this comment is at 11,950.

Mainly against people who think differently than the masses or what's socially considered normal, people with controversial opinions, things like that. I feel like therapy is being seen as a way to force people to think and act like the masses do, because apparently you're ill if you don't. It's like diversity is not allowed, even when it comes to harmless things.

Like, I'm going to name an example, just one of many things I've seen both online and in my direct environment. I've seen people who talk about their Wicca beliefs and I'm absolutely fascinated with their religion, but responses other people often give to those beliefs are 'they are probably schizophrenic if they believe in magic', 'they need to be admitted because they're delusional' and perhaps the worst: 'they deserve help'. As if those people can decide what's best for someone they don't know and it would be 'helping' them even if said 'help' consists of telling people their religion and beliefs are false.

I would write it off as people being ignorant, but I noticed with therapists I've spoken to myself that not many are open to things like spiritualism, philosophical ideas different from the main 'therapy beliefs' or behaviours that are out of the usual. Anything that's not within the ordinary is immediately a wrong belief you need to change or a problem that needs to be explained by therapy (psuedo)science.

What's worse is this goes for opinions on therapy itself as well. You don't believe in their techniques? Obviously there's something wrong with you and you need more therapy. That's the vibe I often get when trying to discuss these topics with people.

I'd like to end on the disclaimer that it's good to be mindful of serious problems like schizophrenia and psychosis. I just think there also needs to be more space for diversity in thinking and behaviours (as long as it doesn't harm anyone, of course), both in therapy and in the ideas around therapy that society holds. Therapy shouldn't be a means to force everyone into the same mold.

Post about what's going on: with life after therapy, alternatives to therapy, healing after therapy abuse, support needs. This post will re-generate every Wednesday by automod, around midday, USA time.

About — (survivingtherapyabuse.org)

10 things that helped me heal from therapy abuse — (survivingtherapyabuse.org)

Can you “choose” to heal from therapy abuse? — (survivingtherapyabuse.org)

​

1) r/therapyabuse is 4 years old as of April 2024 and currently at almost 12k members, this is considered top 10% by size/activity across all of Reddit. Because of this, we are refocusing on rule 1. Our priority on this subreddit is "Be Respectful". Nobody should be "fighting/attacking" in the comments or sending aggressive DMs/chats. If you got a DM or chat from a member here that was out of bounds, modmail us. If you are having any issues in a thread, REPORT the comment ASAP and a moderator will be notified. Please do not pick OR escalate fights/attacks in the comments. This refocus also includes moderator ability to ask for revision on excessively inflammatory language or to remove such content. If a moderator removes or comments on your content for any reason, you must engage in good faith. Moderators may also begin to use tempbans more (24hours and up depending on the situation) per our discretion due to the size of the subreddit and the importance of respectful conduct here.

2a) Refocus on rule 6, Avoid Remarking on Subreddit Belonging - while anti-therapy content is allowed, therapy reformist, therapy critical and alternatives to therapy content is also allowed. As with all large social media, there can be a tendency for the loudest or most extreme perspectives to begin to "dominate" or for those holding them to believe they are the in-group, aka the "cool kids club". This is not a thing on r/therapyabuse, please respect others and allow for diversity of post-therapyabuse life. The subreddit's mission and purpose is to be a support space for therapy abuse survivors, yes, all of them, as long as they follow the other rules. Nobody is allowed to be rude, or force others to a view.

Don't tell other subscribers that "we believe xyz here" here, "we do/don't do xyz here", "you don't belong here". Use the "report" tool to flag comments making similar remarks for the mod. Genuinely offtopic posts will be removed under rule 5, different experiences and making sense of therapy abuse is OK and comments may be re-approved by moderator. Try not to interpret subreddit's purpose or its parameters to others. Therapy abuse survivors speaking from their own experience are allowed users.

2b) Post flair is now required for OPs. Please let us know if you have any suggestions for post flairs not yet listed, or you can choose the custom editable flair and write anything. "Triggering content" flair is encouraged for detailed posts regarding very heavy topics/as needed. This was enacted so that users can users can more easily engage in OR alternatively bypass content they do not wish to engage in. I attempted to set up a robot that physically will not let users post without a flair (hope it worked).

3a) No Linking/Screenshotting/Referencing rule clarification: This rule was created in spirit, to avoid "beef" aka "drama" with other subreddits. " Please don't link/screenshot/reference other subreddits, even if the subreddit is not specified in the reference. This is an important way of preventing and opposing brigading, doxxing, and commenters landing on our subreddit who do not identify with protecting and respecting the survivor centric space nature of the subreddit." Again, the mission and purpose of the sub is to be a support space. The rule about no linking, screenshotting, or referencing exists to support that. If you are not currently a therapist, do NOT post on subs for therapists or break their subreddit rules. There are actually moderators on therapist (and mainstream mental health) subreddits that I've talked with before who support our mission*** and enforce the same ceasefire on their subs (they do not allow their members to "shit talk" us or gawk at us, dissect us; which would be triggering obviously). There are also therapists out there who support therapy reformist and therapy critical missions to get us more regulation, awareness, informed consent, and justice.

3b) No Linking/Screenshotting/Referencing rule etc: Regarding general mental health type subs, please do not be specific enough about your experiences elsewhere on Reddit that it would "incite" people to go into your post history, to look at or join in on a situation on another subreddit. That is brigading and against Reddit TOS. Also, survivor to survivor I recommend you recognize that having to JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain) to commenters on other subs and engaging typical "just try another one" or "maybe it's your fault?" retorts constitutes digital self harm for us, and you'd be better off with ignoring them IMO. Again, other subreddits are big places and there are actually people on reddit sympathetic to our needs, I do not want to generate beef with other subreddits, the politics of allyship is better if they have their lane to swim in and we have ours, in my vision as this sub's original creator. If you'd like to recommend a subreddit that you think could be supportive to a user, ask their permission to DM them and then you can share it with them in DM's. At this time, even supportive subreddits are not eligible for linking/referencing/screenshotting and sharing because the rule becomes too gray.

4. Weekly autosticky for alternatives to therapy/healing after therapy abuse/life after therapy will go live today ASAP to offer a more explicit focus on the subreddit as a support space. Positive real world activism and awareness actions like sharing your blog/podcast/media interview, discussing legislation advocacy, etc are also eligible for discussion there, as that is life after therapy and support related.

This short documentary on "reunification" delves deep into how disgusting the viewpoints of some therapists can go, and be accepted, even in a court of law. It's maddening!!

https://youtu.be/qMoqgAdgjTc?si

I haven't been a person ever since they put me into the system over a decade ago. No one ever cared if it helped, it was only ever about putting me inside the box. All kinds of care available, traditional, non-traditional, only to shut me up and make me more comfortable for them to be around. You've always been an obedient kid, so why are you suddenly resisting? It's for your own good that you become less.

They strip you of your dignity and humanity again and again and again. They punish you for daring to have a thought of your own. Why are you so sensitive, huh? I've heard DBT is 100% effective for crazy bitches like you. How do we get you fixed so that you act as if it never happened? How do we keep your mouth tightly shut so that nothing disrupts my status quo? Can't you be more independent? What an annoying girl, we healthy privileged assholes don't act like that. That's not good manners, are you weak? Your mere existence is problematic.

No one ever cared what it was turning me into. No one ever cared about my future, my fire, my voice. I'm just a thing, an echo of humiliation imposed on me. It's in how I talk, how I walk, how I hold myself. It's in my every waking moment, in my choices, in my reactions. In what they let me be. In what they abused me into. There's no authority to complain to, THEY are the authority. There's no one to comfort you for the torture you've been through. That's the kind of thinking any support group will crucify you for. When you are hurt again, there is nowhere to go. They don't accept people like you there.

I've been running on broken legs all my life. I've put myself through hell ten million times to have any chance at getting better at all, and I've done it again and again and again. To not be weak. To not be broken. To not be damaged.

Who's more uncomfortable, you, being faced with such an inconvenience that won't shake your arrogance anyways, or me, burning alive?

C'mon, give me some fuel. I've built up a tolerance, after all.

By giving me the therapy experience all compressed in one go.

I mention the story of my therapist, what he did. Just silence, and then, paraphrase...

Her: "Are you suicidal?"

Me: "Uh no, not at the moment. But I have been off and on, in a way that is a lot for me. And it's been a consistent theme throughout my life. I've been thinking about unaliving myself pretty intensely..."

Her: "I'm sorry, but I can't give you therapy. Maybe there are some resources I can provide to find counselor?"

Me: "I never asked for therapy. I didn't expect that. I probably know the resources already, but thanks."

Her: "Well, I can't give you therapy. So what do you want from me?"

Me: "Uh nothing I guess. I just have this issue and I'm anxious about it and I thought..."

Her: "Well I can't give you therapy."

At this point I sort of collapse into feeling like I'm a bothersome. Her tone was cold and dismissive. Totally what I needed coming out of a panic attack.

Me: "Sorry. I didn't mean to... I'll just go now. Bye."

The crisis line says to call if you are having issues with anxiety or depression, so what gives? When did basic compassion become therapy? Wow.

having one of those days again. can't seem to get out of a flashback.

this world is rotten. everyone's a fucking animal acting all high and mighty.

most people are either unaware members of the flock or consciously doing harm to others.

my prospects are: participate in the rat race while trying to escape a neverending flashback. be reminded daily of what they've stripped you of.

here's the ugly truth you're biologically wired to avoid: people get broken and don't get unbroken. dress it up all you want.

what do I do when I can't dress it up anymore?

my brain is ruined, and it hasn't passed in years I've been doing all kinds of healing. I can't make anything. I can't think. my body is so fucked I can't be around people without them suspecting something and triggering me into a suicidal spiral.

what they left of me is stripped of its ability to make sense of bare reality. why would I stay only to be aware of it? talking to support groups who only judge me for harm reduction makes it worse. apparently I'm not supposed to think at all.

suggestions, experiences, words of wisdom asides from empty platitudes? it ain't gonna be alright folks, and none of it was my fucking choice.

I've noticed an issue where some people who have the privilege to spend money on therapy seem to use it mostly to offset the effects of other people seeing issues within them.

As long as they're "in therapy" any complaints against them are invalid because they're allegedly "doing the work" and they're "investing in their healing".

If anyone spends much time thinking/researching about narcissism, I think most veterans come to the conclusion that the big ticket Enablers are worse than most of the narcissists. Like the Emperor wearing no clothes, the Enablers come in two flavors: most are the average citizens who go along with the Emperor's delusion and help him save face mostly just to save face for themselves, but then there are the few Enablers like the scammers who sold the Emperor his invisible clothes. They actually orchestrated the entire issue. These Enablers are like the therapists and other authorities behind the scenes who pull the strings and give Narcissists the green light to live within their destructive realities and impose them onto others.

"My therapist" has often come to be code for "my Enabler" or "the Authority" in many situations, and the culture backs this up as valid. It's disturbing. Especially since most therapists work in the realm of "feelings" and don't really consider anything palpable outside their client's feelings.

When you give someone else's alleged "feelings" all the credibility it's essentially setting up an Emperor has no clothes situation for anyone who isn't deeply commited to honesty and awareness and self assessment. Basically, anyone who would actually need a therapist.

My therapist is triggering me with her behavior. I have days where I am able to be vulnerable and express my feelings and where it feels like my therapist actually gets me, validates me and then there are days like today where I can not express my emotions into words at all, my thoughts are so confusing and my mind feels blank. Then my therapist triggers me with her behavior on top of it.

Im not sure if its my own fault because I do not work with her like I did today where I had no idea what to talk about because my head felt empty and I did not even know what I feel or how to put it into words. And didnt want to let any negative emotions in because I had been feeling good for the last 2 days and didnt want to ruin it. But then she isn't contributing a lot to it either, she doesnt come up with a specific plan, if I dont suggest a certain topic she has to think what we can talk about...

We find a topic at the end and she gives me some advice that feels half assed like me asking what I can do to fix having nightmares, waking up with anxiety around 4/5/6 am and not being able to fall asleep after...she tells me to do breathing exercises where Im like how is this gonna prevent me from waking up too early from anxiety attacks. Plus she doesnt diagnose me at all, I still dont know what the hell is wrong with me exactly except that she makes "indirect" suggestions that I have depression and last time I had to ask her to talk about Attachment styles where she told me I most likely have disorganized attachment style. How can I work on myself properly if I dont even know whats going on with me exactly

The inability to connect with her like today and the half assed advice with 0 effort planning make me feel like trash and super angry. it ruined my entire day today to the point that I started getting into freeze mode again and lashing out on everyone and being super pissed.

Is she just a shitty therapist or do I have to high expectations in relation to being validated all the time and getting good advice? Im not super down for changing therapist again I really hate being vulnerable to other people and dumping my traumas on them ;

How many different types of therapy modalities did you try? List them below

I might be done with therapy too much ptsd from my last therapist but there is still so much I want to talk to with others really need to let things out but the therapist only seemed to want to make me worse from confessing things lol. It sounds weird but I wish there were something like AA even for people not getting sober because they give you group support where you are allowed to share your story and also a one-on-one mentor that sounds really nice to have that support. Does anyone have any ideas for what groups or hobbies one could join that are non-religious where you could get this kind of human contact?

I started seeing a therapist last year, I was referred to her from my first psychologist and I believe this therapist worked with psychodynamic therapy or DBT but I cannot find it on the internet anymore so I’m really not sure.

Since the 2nd session I felt that she is too confrontational and made me triggered or angry in every 2nd or 3rd session with pushing some buttons but I was trying to manage these feelings, thinking about that I am not going to therapy to get my bumm polished. She was also telling me that she believs in honest and transparent feedback from both ends at the first session but I was definitely underestimating this from her or I feel that this was a euphemism from her side. So I was managing this for a while until the last 2 sessions.

Important to note that I went to therapy due to some work conflicts and PTSD and during the last session she was pushing something so much something that I had a full meltdown. What she was pushing in the last 2 sessions to bring in my medical papers because some of my problems might be psychosomatic and this made me triggered from 3 different angles and she was supposed to be aware all of them.

She knew that:

• I almost lost my life because I was sent home by ER with a stroke
• I had a legal fight with one of my employer for using it agains me that I have brain injury to manage me out and not using this sensitive data how it should be
• I am coming from an abusive household and my mother was not respecting my boundaries and the therapist was pushing this more than once

She was not teaching me any ways how to cope with this, she just triggered me and left me hanging. Would you say that this is too much from a therapist or am I just overly sensitive?

Mentally ill subs will be so, so supportive and validating…until you mention a bad therapist.

Societal issues? Support. Jobs? Support. Relationships? Support.

Redditors -specifically in these communities- don’t even want that much context, they are happy to offer unconditional validation…until you say the word therapist.

And all the sudden it’s “what did you do wrong”

For added insight, I’ve divulged my bad therapy experiences to other therapists and they agreed with me - because some people suck and some don’t, just like any other profession.

It’s such an automatic reflex for people, that’s what’s so frustrating.

It will be the most obvious contrast. Like I could literally replace the word ‘therapist’ with ‘my boyfriend’ and commenters would be like ‘dang sorry you are having trouble, I hope it gets better’

I mean, I know it’s my fault guys for being honest on the internet with any expectations. Just venting.

I tagged it as ‘therapy reform’ because people need to reform their attitudes about therapy, lol.

I've been in therapy on and off during the last 5 or 6 years for my CPTSD. Three CBT therapists (it's the gold standard in my country), one of them leaving me in a worse condition than when I started therapy because he triggered my abandonment trauma almost constantly. One EMDR therapist who claimed that I was healed when I described that I felt unable to hold onto traumatic memories after some sessions. One EFT/EMDR therapist who was quite ok but I felt too exhausted due to my former therapist (who triggered my abandonment wound) to continue. Plus she charged quite a bit. So lots of money went into this producing a meager result. None of them questioned the effectiveness of CBT or EMDR on me. I lost trust in therapy.

(Luckily, I'm better today, mostly due to taking care of myself.)

Hi! I have some experience with therapy - some good, some bad. My bad experience from a couple of years ago was bad simply because it was not titrated enough and my therapist advised me to have 10 hours a week, and it sent me spiraling. It was way too dysregulating for me. Wait, when I say "some good", I'm trying to find some positives...I think I may have experienced overall benefit, but it was mostly from the modality - somatic experiencing - which I did myself, too.

I have seen a lot of improvement through doing somatic work myself.

I recently started seeing a new therapist, with whom I was supposed to do sensorimotor psychotherapy. We had two assessment sessions, which left me fairly dysregulated, and since then, have had three "normal" sessions. We have not done any somatic work or sensorimotor work so far. The first couple of sessions were kind of okay and I was happy with them - I thought that the relational aspect will help in the long-term. However, in the last session, she was asking me about childhood trauma, and I told her that my heart rate is very high now, thinking about those questions. I also mostly sought out therapy because I developed long covid and ME/CFS over the past couple of years and the state of my nervous system plays a huge role in this. I wanted to settle my nervous system more, and also work on limiting beliefs, etc. Of course, the root may be in childhood, but I don't think it's always necessary to hash out the past in order to make progress.

Despite me telling her about my heart rate (and difficulty breathing), she just kept probing and asking more and more questions about certain people in my childhood. After 45 minutes of this, she told me that we have 5 minutes left and that she wants me to do the Safe & Sound protocol and will send me the link to listen and then wants us to listen together for 15 minutes at the start of our next session together.

I have looked up the protocol on this forum and elsewhere, and it seems like many people have been severely dysregulated from it as a result. It was empirically tested only in children with autism and not trauma or long covid, etc. I am very sensitive and if I was to do the protocol, I would start with 1 minute. It seems that many people recommend 30-60 seconds at the start, not 15 minutes. In general, having read more and more about it, I am just not interested. I know that some people have seen benefit. I also believe that such effects can be achieved through other, less risky, interventions.

I didn't like the fact that she brought up this as a matter of fact at the end, didn't give ANY information on it, and it just seems like an easy way to make money. She wanted me to listen for 15 minutes with her next time and then for future sessions to be charged (to my insurance company) and for me to just listen on my own. It seems irresponsible to me.

What I also didn't like is that when I was talking about my mom (one of the questions she asked me about), she was quick to label her and said "maybe she's a covert narcissist". This also seems like a red flag to me? I think that labelling someone as such would require more than a couple of sentences about them? I did share a couple of traits could be narcissistic, and also other positive ones. She was also asking me what kind of trauma my mom experienced in childhood. I don't know whether this is to provide some kind of insight or help with compassion (including for myself), but the whole experience just felt off to me, and left me more dysregulated.

Like I said, I have been dealing with fatigue and multiple health challenges lately and have worked hard on my own to heal. I wasn't able to work for those years and it causes a lot of financial stress, which is dysregulating. I was getting to the point where I was starting to do some work and feel a bit better physically. I'm self employed and work from home, so any time when I'm feeling more ok, I could spend that time working and therefore making money, alleviating other stressors. I don't think it's the time to delve into childhood trauma. I'm also living with my parents at the moment, due to financial issues. Things with them have been improving, too, and I want to focus on that.

Plus, to top it all off, this is virtual, on Zoom, and I don't like that, either. I'm thinking of seeing whether my insurance company will pay for equine therapy or art therapy, or perhaps forgoing therapy. Or maybe some kind of gentle somatic work with a new practitioner? On the one hand, I don't think that I should "run away" or devalue this therapist for suggesting Safe & Sound to me or asking about childhood. I think that there can be therapeutic value in communicating my concerns to her, especially because being assertive and open with people has been very challenging for me in the past. In the past, I would have said yes to the S&S protocol simply because I didn't know how to say no. I don't feel like that now and have better boundaries and communication.

On the other hand, I wonder what the point in continuing is. I somehow don't trust this woman in general, too. I know that intuition can be disrupted in those with CPTSD, so I don't know what to think in this regard.

I told her in the last session that I'm autistic and she kind of made a look like she feels bad for me (if that makes sense), but in general, she doesn't seem particularly familiar with neurodivergence. 50 minutes for a session also doesn't feel anywhere near long enough.

The more I think about it, the more I am drawn to exploring equine therapy (and art therapy) once I'm able to..

Oh and in the last minute of my first session, she asked if I have friends. I said that I have two close friends, and sadly they live abroad now, but we talk every day. I said that I have other people I just have conversations with, but I wouldn't consider that to be true friendship. She kind of lowered her head and looked sad and said "well, that's not friendship and you need more than a couple of friends". Do I? Do I need tons of so-called friends or just 1 or 2 people in my life I can truly connect with? She kind of made me question myself further..

Oh and in my first assessment session, which was in person, she said "I see that you're anxious", but pointing this out made me more anxious.

My final complaint is that she once said "I will send you the times that I'm available for appointments by the end of today", and then sent it only 5 days later, and with no acknowledge/apology for the delay. Why say "by the end of today"? She could have just said "later" or "soon".

She has also been on the news and in many interviews about "psychopaths" and it makes me wonder if she likes the attention. It can be a valid topic and a good way of giving her "expert opinion", but she talked about the Letby case and it made me wonder if she was mostly looking for attention.

Also, I first tried to get my insurance company to approve therapy in October 2023 and it took quite a while. Back then, I was feeling completely hopeless and desperate - partly due to some serious problems in life, and partly due to health challenges. I've been doing so much work on my own (finally making changes, have stability (even if my environment isn't perfect - she suggested that I go to a homeless shelter, instead), working on different aspects of my physical health (which affected mental health because I was bedbound for months and housebound for a couple of years!), limbic system brain retraining, journaling, making new social connections, etc. I feel like I want to continue to make positive progress in life, and not dig up old trauma and become destabilised and unable to work (and therefore stay stuck).

I'm just looking for any thoughts in general, on any aspect of this. Thanks!