i think about attempting every single day and i really want to attempt but it feels stupid since i dont actually want to die. I just want to really feel something and touch the edge yk? i have a plan and i think about it everyday but actually being dead, being in complete emptiness forever is something im terrified of. I just really want to be in that hospital and see the painful look in my parents eyes. Why am i like this? Is there a word for it or smth?

I’ve lost the emotional part of considering suicide. No one would miss me. I’ve realized this year that my once closest friends either don’t care or actively wish for me to die. I don’t blame them. I see no future for myself at all and I’m never happy. I can’t afford “treatment” either.

The hard part is leaving my cats and overcoming my fear of the process of dying. I don’t want to leave my cats because they’ve gone through so many changes as is, and I don’t know anyone who can take them that’s trustworthy.

https://themighty.com/topic/suicide/if-you-want-to-die-read-this/

My attempt last week didn't work because I was deadass drank and I hated myself even more. I don't even have a slight regret about it. My father caught me in the act. I drank 2 bottles of gin that night together with my favorite cookies and cream ice cream before doing it. That was supposed to be my last reward for my self. I didn't d*e that night obviously. I was hospitalized. No one knows about it except my immediate family and my ex bf and I guess a close friend.

I don't wanna live anymore. I am a coward. I just wanna rot in my bed. I already sorted and planned out things if I succeeded. I am so ready to do it again anytime.

To my people, I know you'll survive this and move forward after this. You will live on. Next time I'll do it I'll make sure I am not drank and would succeed this time.

When I first started cutting, I didn't do any research before. I just hated myself, so I started cutting. Fortunately I didn't cut deep at that time, but I didn't know anything about arteries and veins. The place that I was cutting the most was the inner thigh. As most people on this sub know there is a big artery there and if you nick it your basically dead. When I found out that I would have been dead by now if I cut deeper there I didn't know how to feel. Now that I know that your not suppose to cut there I kinda wish I never found out and just killed myself by accident, because now if I want to kill myself I have to do it on purpose.

I’m just so done with life seeing the girl I loved being swept away by some fool just because he has more money. Ok I’m jealous, I get it! Do I need to kill myself to prove I would literally die for her?! I’ve known her for years, she loved talking to me and loved being around me. And then this rich guy appeared out of nowhere and just took her from me! To my forever lost love, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone! And that thing is me!

Im planing to hang myself How long until I passed out? Does it hurt?

I plan to do it using a scarf, and tie it on my bedroom ceiling, stand on the chair and kick the chair

I just tried to hang myself, I don't have anywhere good to hang, and all I have is a belt. I tried to hang myself on the bedframe, but most of my body weight was held up by my limbs on the ground. The pressure of the blood behind my eyes mixed with the tiny bit of air I could breathe was too much so I backed down and stopped. Later today I plan to go to this cliff near a beach that I like and I am going to jump off. I'm not sure if I can, but I am going to go anyways.

Hey, all. I think for once in my life I’m going to have the courage to actually end my life. I live this pathetic life as an ugly freak that can’t get a job, is a college dropout out, lost my minimum wage job, and is a burden to my parents who still have to house me as a useless 28 year old man. I have no skills, I am stupid, ugly, and useless. I am ignored by everyone, I am so boring and honestly draining and negative to be around. I don’t want advice, I don’t want to be talked out of this. I just wanted to leave a record behind for my parents to find. I’m planning it sometime this weekend.

not sure if this is the right sub for this but oh well. I'm starting therapy again very soon, and I'm TERRIFIED of going back to the hospital. I don't like lying to my therapists because I know I can't get help without being truthful, but I don't want to go to the hospital for saying I'm going to end it. what do I do to be truthful but also not go there?

You read that right. I’m willingly going to probably subject myself to a ward, various mental treatments, etc. I’m going to make sure I end up there.

I’m nervous, but it’s for the best. I’m afraid, but it’s for the best I do this. There‘s only one fear I have.

Turning out worse when I exit that fucking ward. I’ve heard horror, and I mean absolute horror stories about psych wards. Not just US ones, also Dutch ones (where I reside). Who knows, maybe I’ll be better, maybe worse. Who knows?

I don't wish to be alone right now. I need to have some company.

I'm done. I can't find a reason to live or convince myself to continue despite anything. The future is completely shit as we all know it (no I'm not american but it's shit for all of us guys trust me). I've been battling depression and passive suicidal ideation for the past 6 years. This year I've been cornered by life. My fight has ended and I have lost. It will never get better and I can't keep on living for crumbs of happiness. Tonight I made sure and I want to be GONE. IMMEDIATELY. I won't even try to leave a note or contact anybody. As soon as I decide on my method, I will end everything. Don't try to convince me for I cannot be convinced. I'm not here to be convinced anyway.

I can't find a proper fucking method. I live with my parents and my sister. One out of the three will find my corpse, I can't prevent this if I die inside my house. Thus, I want to die intact and as less gory as possible. My death will be shitty enough, I don't want anybody to be traumatised further by blown-up brains or whatever. I can't shoot myself or jump out of the window. I thought of overdosing but I don't have any drugs or chemicals that will grant me a certain death. Currently I'm thinking about hanging or suffocation- but even in that death is not certain and there's a good chance of my corpse looking awful. I know my corpse will look awful anyways- but god isn't there a single fucking method that will make me go as clean as possible? Even though I am done with everything, I still love my family enough to not deepen their trauma.

God... I sound stupid. But hey, who cares? I'll be gone anyway!

Just about a week ago, I had a failed suicide attempt that left me with a broken leg. (Tried jumping from a pretty short bridge onto my neck but landed awkwardly on my leg) Now I just feel even shittier than before. I can’t even work the two jobs that kept my dad and I from being homeless now. My dad’s just a drunk and lazy fuck, my mom’s out of my life, and honestly I have nobody. I don’t go to school since my dad won’t register me, and honestly I really don’t think I have any reason to live anymore. Before my dad was a drunk bitch, he used to go hunting and has a few of his old guns. I think i might just shoot myself in the head with one of them tonight. At least then im guaranteed to die.

Hey! I dont know where to start, but i think i am pretty close to ending it all. I come from a perfect family house + I never had to worry about money or anything. 2 years ago i started to have debilitating chronic back pain and I dont know how to continue like that. I am 22 for refernce and feel like my life is taken away from me. If anyone wants to chat please hit me up. I am on my breaking point.

throwaway account. ive been struggling with suicidal ideation since i was about 13. im 21 now, set to graduate college in the spring but ive lost all hope to make it that far. my grades are struggling severely and i cant talk to anyone about it because i know they'll be angry with me for letting these last semesters go. i dont even enjoy what im studying 80% of the time. im ftm and have been navigating coming out and started hrt yesterday and not even that is giving me anything to look forward to, especially with the uncertainty of trans healthcare in the u.s with the election results. i have nothing, i cant find anything else to hold onto. i want to die so fucking badly but i dont know how to do it.

ive spent so long feeling like living is worthless, how do i even bounce back from this? im just fucking fed up and terrified. i dont know what to do.

I've been starving myself because I want to you know dye and I'm fat I'm overweight I want to be lower in weight And life isn't working anymore I've lost everything I've lost all my friends all my old foster cares I cant see my family I'm scared of losing people that I love

I just want to not be in pain anymore

People that I thought who love me have traumatised me

And I've been hearing vocies since i was 5 and I want it to stop I want it to all stop

I havent been able to stop self h@rming I've been using everything I've been using yogurt plastic ends The lid of a lip bun My glasses lesses Makeup cases

I can't look at my chargers the same anymore all I think of when I look at them is I could h@ nf myself with that My shoe leses are the same

And the reason why I choosed starving myself is because none can stop you not eating but they can stop your h@ nf myself

I deserve to dye

When I was little I didnt have the best relationship with my mom and for the longest time I honestly think she wouldnt/didnt care if I died and I have wanted to kill myself since I was a child. I have tried but I am always too scared and I dont go through with it. There was one time I ran away from home to go and kill myself but ended up sleeping under a bridge and came home in the end and lied about staying at a friends house.
The day I left home I had a talk with my mom and told her how I felt and told her that she didnt love me and wouldnt care if I died, she told me I was wrong and we had a cry and a cuddle and since our relationship has gotten a lot better but we still werent that close as I was further away, I still visited from time to time and wasnt absent or uninvolved with my family, still visiting for events and such. But recently I have been a bit closer and my mom has been closer and more expressive of her love.

I also have two brothers that I love very very much and I want the best for them.

But I still just want to die. I dont see myself going anywhere, everything I want to do I dont think I can. I have always given up when doing something such as school, college and university. Pursuing the career I want and now I believe it is too late to even do said career as I am too old. I dont see any point in living, I just want to die but I am too scared to even kill myself, I have looked into carbon monoxide and it seems like a good way to die but I keep thinking about my family and how they would feel. My brothers are only little I dont know how it would affect them and I dont want to traumatize them but I dont know how long I can do this for. I mean I say that but I am too scared to even do it so I dont even know.

How do you think that it would affect them and do you think there would be any long lasting affects? Should I distance myself and then do it so they wouldnt feel as bad? I think that they would be able to get over it fine but I really really do not want to traumatize my brothers. Should I wait until they are older so they can get over it easier? And if I do wait until they are older what do I do in the years until then? Keep drifting along doing nothing with my life? Having my family watch my be useless and be disappointed I am not doing anything? I dont know what to do.

He has been my best friend for over 30 years. I'm so sad that he didn't call me that day. My wife is beside herself. We saw no signs. If anyone is feeling suicidal please contact someone and get help.

Hello. I'm past it emotionally, so don't expect a sob story. I'll keep it short:

I'm a cisgender heterosexual white male living in the United States of America. I have an above average amount of wealth and could realistically do nothing for the next decade and be no closer to poverty for it. I have never been abused, and currently have a life I imagine many of you would take drastic measures to obtain. That's not condescension - it's a rational assessment.

I have dreams, aspirations, hobbies and friends. My family loves me, and most people would consider me an attractive person both in appearance and personality. My one failing is health, and even that is mostly self-inflicted by my lifestyle. If my genetics had skewed just a little bit at my conception, I may have been a prodigy, or at least someone with the privilege, drive and talent to live their life as full as they can.

But they didn't. I have done nothing for ten years, and I can say with absolute certainty that it will continue that way until death. As with anything scientific, this is not conjecture. I've tested it rigorously. Rigorously. There is no doubt. So, I've made plans to end it the instant life necessitates what I cannot provide, which is to say any effort at self-improvement or work ethic whatsoever. Being homeless or trapped in a multi-job hell are not acceptable realities to me. Sorry for anyone going through that - you're far stronger than me! Take genuine pride in that!

I have studied failed suicide attempts, even from people posting here. I'm not going to dive too deep into my thought process here, since I don't want to pollute the minds of anyone reading this who has a better chance in life than me. But part of my privilege is that I have an abundance of options. My main one is poisoning myself and then shooting myself in the head, although I could settle for leaning off the side of a tall building, pulling the trigger, and letting my unconscious/dead body hit the pavement. I have many other combinations but, again, I don't want to give people ideas.

Why would I do this? | I'm in a self-destructive spiral that simply cannot end any other way.

What about your family and friends? Won't they be heartbroken? | After agonizing over it for a long time, I've settled on not caring. The thought rips my soul to shreds while I breathe, but my concerns, my love, my guilt, will all cease to exist the moment it ends. This is where a glimmer of irrationality to all this comes in, because nobody of truly sound mind would plan and write anything like this, much less post it to a community of fellow miserable people.

Why even make this post, then? | Dunno. Maybe I want a dopamine hit from the attention, or maybe it's a cry for help, though I don't think anything could change my mind at this point.

But what about joining the military? Or finding God? | You disgust me. Go to hell immediately.

They won't understand why I'm suddenly not there anymore.

I‘m housebound. My body constantly panics, I’m sweating and every muscle hurts. I can’t sleep or eat. I’ve been in therapy for 15 years. No meds are helping. I’m 27 and can’t work or live alone, currently at my parents.

I have complex ptsd from emotional abuse by my parents and (tw) sexual abuse from a doctor. I can’t even get help from a doctor if I wanted to, the flashbacks take me out. I don’t know how to go on anymore, nothing helps.

I just want to die so bad everyday I think of killing myself. I am a burden to everyone around me and I know nobody truly loves me. I can't do simple basic things I have exams in a few months and I can't even seem to study and it's burdens my family. I live in such privelege so I hate feeling this way. I am addicted to so many social media apps but I don't even really enjoy talking to people online. They just rant about what they want but I don't even want to think or talk I just dont want to alone and I waste my long hours doing nothing I want to do. I've attempted so many times to no avail and I don't know what to do anymore. I've rejected help and I refuse to help myself at this point but I also want to get out. I wish I could dissapear.

I met this guy online a week ago, and we've been texting every day. Talking to him is so much fun - he's cute, gorgeous, and we really vibe on the same wavelength. But I feel almost too attached, to the point where, if he doesn't text back, I start spiraling into some pretty dark thoughts (suicidal thoughts) and self-doubt. I've also started feeling insecure, which is unusual for me. His life on social media seems super exciting - full of fun, parties, and friends - while mine feels quiet and, honestly, a bit dull in comparison. I never usually feel this way; even seeing influencers living it up doesn't usually bother me. But with him, it's different, and I can't shake this feeling of inadequacy. Any advice on how to handle this?

I'm an 18-year-old transgender woman. I was diagnosed with severe depression at 11 and have had multiple suicide attempts. I always knew I was different, that I was meant to be a girl, and when I turned 15, I finally started being open about who I really was. Growing up, I was bullied for being feminine, but once I started to express myself, that finally stopped bothering me as much-l actually started to feel like myself. But the bullying got way worse after that. Strangers insulted me on the street, and some people even threatened to kill me. None of it seemed to matter, though, because I finally felt happy for once. A year later, I moved abroad and started transitioning. Now I'm back in my home country, and I'd say I pass pretty well now and am even somewhat attractive. When I got back, I tried to move on from my past and hoped people would forget who l used to be. That mostly worked, until recently-old photos and rumors started to pop up again. Now I get super anxious meeting new people, especially guys. When I meet a guy, l don't tell him I'm trans right away for the simple reason that I don’t want to be judged on the basis of my identity, but would rather have him get to know me first. I wait until I feel comfortable, but every time I do, it freaks me out and I start feeling terrible about myself again. It's honestly making my life hell, and I feel like I can't ever just live in peace without being scared all the time. I don't know how to help myself any-more. I don't believe in heaven or hell —I think it's either reincarnation or just nothing. Both ideas comfort me, because nothingness would mean l'd never have to feel this way again, and reincarnation would mean a new life, maybe even a chance to be happy. I don't want to die, but it sometimes feels like that's the only way out of this misery. I just hate myself so much.

i cant even do anything anymore cuz i just dont enjoy doing anything i justfeel done.....

Im tired of being alive ngl... currently writing my notes and filling out my sketchbook, Once I'm done doing tht I'll end it all (I feel guilty for just talking about it, because I feel like an attention seeker)

• Starting yesterday I've been experiencing what is called professionally a "mental health crisis", and I could barely sleep last night. I reported my situation in r/raisedbynarcissists/ hoping for some help, but as of right now nobody helped me.

• From that post on, an hour ago I received a Whatsapp message from my mother's boyfriend, who I've known for 10+ years and generally does not get into any of her insanities, saying "(it starts with some random topic we were talking about, and out of nowhere goes) if you feel like getting your father's bones, he is in (location here). Have a nice day!", which escalated my mental health crisis even more, because I had previously told him that I did not want to talk about or hear anything about any of this any more, and explicitly told him that my mother's actions were seriously imperilling my mental health condition.

• I tried to relax, tried to meditate, tried to distract myself - I should stress Psychology was one of my college degrees, and professionally I would say I'm indeed in a "mental health crisis", and I'm currently a danger to myself.

• I called some of my friends, other family members (including my brother), etc, and so far nobody has contacted me back.

• I called our local hospital, and they told me that the doctor who usually helps me is not there until monday, and they have nobody from Psychology or Psychiatry there this weekend.

• I called our local emergency hotline multiple times (you know, 112!!!), and nobody picked up. I also called the local emergency hotline for medical professionals multiple times, and nobody picked up either. Although this may sound strange, as of yesterday they were striking, and earlier today I heard on the news that 9 people had already died due to said strike.

• I'm trying to watch random videos on Youtube to distract myself and attempt not to do anything else for the rest of the day, to move the least from this couch (if I don't leave the couch, I can't do anything that kills me!), but I genuinely think I could kill myself today, I cannot support all this much longer, specially the fact I failed to obtain any real help in this complete insanity that is going on right now and not even any of the emergency contacts helped at all.

• Help?

Hi I'm 19F, I've had depression since I was about 13 (and possibly BPD apparently since my psychologist believes so, I've yet to talk it with my psychiatrist) my life doesn't suck, I have a loving mother and I've had the luck of meeting some beautiful people who are my friends, I'm lucky enough to not be in poverty and have my basic needs covered by my lovely mom.

So yeah people and life doesn't suck, but I really do, I've got a nasty porn addiction, 0 motivation to study since high school (I'm totally gonna fail uni again), I'm honestly probably kinda racist and sexist too. And on top of that I am extremely sensitive, I suffer things x2 people around me do, I'm unfit to suffer, the smallest shit brings me to tears and renders me completely useless to do even house chores. I've had multiple failed suicide attempts in the past 5 years and honestly after each one of them the situation gets worse, ever since I started trying becoming a better person I've gotten worse, lazier, meaner, I watch more and worse porn, I'm even more addicted to my phone, I do worse drugs now, I cheated on my ex who I loved. I have no reason to believe it'll get better since it only gets worse and worse and these are supposed to be the best years of my life.

Besides I'm only 19 and I'm already being this much of a sensitive shithead?? I am NOT going to survive the challenges adults face like having a full time job and taking care of an entire house on my own. I don't want to wait to see how I turn out even worse than I am now.

I know suicide will hurt the people around me but honestly I can't love them if I hate myself, I know I'm not hitler but I am pretty much useless and stupid, I'll probably end up as a parasyte living in my mom's forever, jerking off to gross porn and playing videogames. Advice on making my situation better is appreciated, but if anyone can empathize enough and see my vision, advice on least painful suicide methods are also appreciated (I've tried hanging myself from the doorknob multiple times but I just end up throwing up, too much of a pussy to throw myself off my building or lay in the rail roads, my mom watches over my pills so I don't try overdosing again, and there are no guns in my country, thought about suicide with carbon monoxide and I might try it this winter when my mom gets her hands on gas for cold)

There are a lot of things I love about life, even if they're dumb, I love movies and monkeys and resident evil and talking with my friends. But suffering is never ending and I'm just not strong enough, I should've never even been born.

I apologize for sounding so much like a dipshit moody teenager right now but I kinda am that.

I always attempting to kill myself whenever my husband got angry at me because of my attitude. When he got mad, he shouted to the point that our neighborhood can hear him. I always told him not to be loud cause its embarassing and I wanted to fight privately. I admit its always my fault! But whenever we fight, he said a lot of things and leave.

When he left, I always tried to kill myself like taking bleach, cutting, or hanging. But I always fail!!! I became afraid to be dead when I think that I will leave him and my family forever. I love my husband so much thats why I just want to die when I saw him so stressed with me. But when I think who will take care of him if I die, I stop taking bleach, cutting, or hanging.

I think, I just need some push from others so I can continue to kill myself. Im so drained!