How might a stoic respond to societal and family rejection?

Hi everyone,

I'm new to stoïcism and found in this great subreddit recommendations to initiate my journey. My first reading about this philosophy is The Obstacle is the way by Ryan Holiday, which serves as an excellent introduction to Stoicism, particularly for someone new to its principles, like myself.

The book is practical and accessible, distilling complex Stoic ideas into actionable lessons for modern life. The main takeaway for me was the idea that challenges are not obstacles to success but the path itself—embracing adversity as an opportunity to grow and improve. Holiday's focus on perception, action, and will as tools to navigate difficulties is both inspiring and deeply relevant.

One of the book's strengths is its use of historical examples which make abstract Stoic concepts tangible, and fuel your culture as well. Figures like Marcus Aurelius and Thomas Edison illustrate how Stoicism can be applied across different eras and situations.

However, the book's simplicity is also a limitation: it occasionally oversimplifies Stoic philosophy, leaving out some of its deeper metaphysical or ethical dimensions. For someone seeking a more comprehensive understanding, it might serve better as a motivational starting point than a definitive guide.

Despite its limits, I’d recommend The Obstacle Is the Way as a first read for anyone interested in Stoicism. It’s engaging, concise, and full of practical wisdom, making it an ideal gateway to more profound works like Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations. For a beginner, it strikes the right balance between inspiration and philosophy, encouraging further exploration.

Hi, everyone I hope that you are doing well, I created a new YouTube channel with 3 subscribers, and I am spending my efforts and time creating good content that is more based on stoicism, and how you can improve your life and mindset those learning to this kind of videos I created for you, and I recommend you to listen when your going to bed l every night until you fall asleep, then on the next day repeat the process, I hope you will see how your life changes, thank you, and if you will feel like you need to subscribe its ok, thank you

How 2 Hours of Stoicism Can Transform Your Life

Hi everyone, my weekly newsletter recently hit 300 subscribers and so I thought I'd share an idea from one my posts about only tackling the days problems.

So, using the metaphor of dirty dishes from the past being behind you, and dishes from the future that aren't dirty yet, one of my best performing reads really landed itself towards the stoic mindset. I'd love for it to be able to help you guys as well!

https://faizanhaider.substack.com/p/doing-the-dishes?r=4pvm6n

I’m sick of all of it. I don’t want to work through it or try to solve it anymore. I’m tired of enduring through the pain and trying to take a healthy mindset only for my suffering to grow worse and worse.

It doesn’t matter what I do. Become more social? I still suffer. Form meaningful friendships and meet awesome people? I still suffer. Eat healthy? I still suffer. Exercise, sleep, work hard, try to manage my emotions and mental health? I still suffer. Meditate and journal? I still suffer.

I’ve done all of these things. I’m still so depressed and anxious and falling apart. No matter what I do I just don’t have power over it. Something terrible has befallen me. I am unbearably weary of putting up with all the thoughts and feelings and sensations. My past with all its sorrows and scars has shaped me and turned me into something quite gruesome and ugly. I am a wretched thing wrought by the things I’ve been through. I didn’t choose it. It wasn’t my fault. And I don’t want to try to fix it or heal it anymore. I’ve put in enough effort and things still happen. My belly still hurts with all the anxiety and inner pain and my mind screams with thoughts like a hornets nest. I don’t know why the external world is so cruel, or how anyone could ever look at it and say “This is neither good nor bad, but indifferent”.

I’m sick of everything. Tired of the confusion and pain and uncertainty. And it just drags on and on. Stoicism should help, but instead the words of the Stoics just ring inside my head and I can’t get them out. So tired of hearing “It is not things that disturb us, but our perceptions of them”. Such invalidating bullshit.

Stoicism seems like little more than a means of numbing oneself to the pain of life. Making things seem ok when they really aren’t. Gaslighting one’s brain until the wretchedness is still there but doesn’t hurt anymore.

Life is suffering.

A Stoic Temple, if you will.

https://discord.gg/jGsDv7Yytz

- Ness

I recently got the robin waterfields translation of meditations, and it's rather confusing. I want to read it but I'm just confused on how it's laid out for example it will say see "i-5" and things like that throughout the pages, I'm not sure if the book has a section that explains how you read it but if someone owns this translation and can help me understand it would be greatly appreciated thank you

How can we connect stoicism to tackle modern problems like climate change, pollution etc ? How can we bring together different aspects of society such as businesses , organisations and individuals to work in practical and feasible work for environment? Share your works and ideas 💡

“Success is something you attract, not pursue” - Jim Rohn

If you CHOOSE to live a life with capitalism, you are accepting the high and lows of life. Life isn’t made to be bent, it’s made to be explored. Living more authentic to your true self, will open opportunities made for you.

Understanding what is within one’s control is the fundamental aspect of stoicism. The only thing you truly control is your mind. Controlling emotions is not your job… rather harnessing your emotions. Use don’t lose your emotions.

Happiness will come and go, but your emotions are always there. Find beauty within each emotion.

“[7] Remember next that you are a son. What is required of a person in this role? To regard all that he owns as belonging to his father, to obey him in all things, never to speak badly of him to others, never to do or say anything that might cause him harm, and to defer and yield to him in everything, helping him to the best of his ability.

[8] Know next that you are also a brother. In this role, too, you’re obliged to show deference, obedience, and restraint in your language, and never to contend with your brother for anything that lies outside the sphere of choice, but to be happy to give it up, so as to have a better share of the things that lie within the sphere of choice. [9] For consider what it is to acquire his good will at the price of a lettuce, perhaps, or a chair: what a bargain that is!

[10] And next, if you’re sitting on the council of some city, remember that you’re a councillor; if you’re young, remember that you’re young; if an old man, remember that you’re an old man; if a father, remember that you’re a father. [11] For each of these names, if carefully considered, indicates the actions that are appropriate to it.”—Epictetus, D2.10.7-11

Your choice between assenting or not to the present thought can be made while taking into account your relation with the surroundings. That relation can be described as 'role'.

You are constantly in relation with the present surroundings — you constantly have a role or another. The proper response to that is: 

Get in the role presently assigned to you and listen to the thoughts Fate sends. Then choose to assent or not to them.

“Remember that you’re an actor in a play, which will be as the author chooses, short if he wants it to be short, and long if he wants it to be long. If he wants you to play the part of a beggar, act even that part with all your skill; and likewise if you’re playing a cripple, an official, or a private citizen. For that is your business, to act the role that is assigned to you as well as you can; but it is another’s part to select that role.”—Epictetus, E17

The Latin bene and bonus are translated as well and good. Bene is an adverb that describes the manner of being or doing something well — Bene valeo (I am well), while bonus is an adjective that refers to the utility of an object or person — Bonus panis ad salutem (Bread is good for health).

In Stoicism, there is fundamental distinction between arete/virtue and adiaphora/indifferents. Virtue is the sole good, while indifferents are neither good nor bad. The Stoics talk about some indifferents as being proegmena/preferred while others being apoproegmena/dispreferred.

This philosophical structure mirrors the distinction between bene and bonus. Bene functions as an adverbial state of being — similar to how virtue is an internal state of excellence, while bonus describes external qualities or utilities — analogous to the preferred-dispreferred indifferents. Just as preferred indifferents (like health, wealth, beauty) have instrumental value but are not good, bonus describes something's practical usefulness. Conversely, bene represents the quality of being, much like arete represents the internal state of moral excellence.

Bottom line, both linguistic and philosophical frameworks suggest a fundamental distinction between what something is (bene-arete) and what something does or appears to be (bonus-proegmena). 

Explore the profound wisdom of Stoicism through this visual journey. Delve into the teachings of ancient philosophers like Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and Seneca as their timeless principles of virtue, resilience, and inner peace come to life. These images embody the Stoic mindset—where strength is found in stillness, and wisdom is forged through adversity. Join us as we reflect on the enduring power of Stoic philosophy and its relevance to the challenges we face today.

https://youtu.be/WMTEZSKZR8w

We seek Stoic guidance when we ask important questions, but most chatbots fall short because they draw from scattered internet sources rather than directly from Stoic texts.

With SageMind, you can ask a question, and it finds and shares the most relevant passages from Meditations to give you practical advice on approaching your situation with a Stoic mindset.

sagemind.chat

Right now, SageMind only draws wisdom from Meditations, but if it is useful it’s possible to expand it to use the knowledge of other texts like Epictetus’s Enchiridion and Seneca’s Letters.

My article is now published! I haven’t told many people about this, but now it’s time to share with everyone. 

I wrote a piece about how poetry has been an intimate and healthy way for me to move through difficult times and experiences. The article contains a backstory about where my fascination and passion for poetry started, as well as 9 poems with commentary and some book suggestions.

Writing this article is what inspired me to explore commentary as a useful reflection method, and I truly hope that you are finding the poems and commentary useful. I’m grateful to the Modern Stoicism website for hosting my poetry and self-analysis. 

If you’re interested in learning more about my introspective journey through poetry, here’s the link to the article: https://modernstoicism.com/the-way-how-writing-poetry-inspired-by-stoicism-changed-my-life-by-gunther-hammel/

Hope you enjoy.

🤜💥🤛 

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"The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury." -- Marcus Aurelius (Meditations, 4:3)

Forgiveness in Stoicism is not excusing wrongs, but rising above them with dignity and grace -- and transcending them wholeheartedly through the inner strength of love.

How do modern stoics remain calm in this chaotic world? Share your stoic secrets 🙂

I have an external validation system I am sincerely trying to get rid of. I want to feel more enough in my own skin, without having to beg myself down the feet of others to feel that. I constantly want to show the world what I am up to, even though no one really gives a damn about that.

How may I start caring less about seemingly unpleasant experiences like not being invited to go somewhere, not being held up to as high of a standard as others? and above all, being obligated to feel to let everyone know I have a "life" too via social media?

Picture a vertical gate pulled up by a spring but held down closed by you. When a thought comes by, assenting to it is like unclenching the hand and releasing the gate open, thus letting the thought enter ‘the impulse chamber’ — where it will be transformed into a belief (and, if the thought was impulsive, an external action).

Withholding assent is like actively holding the gate down by keeping a clenched hand on it. The thought bounces back off the closed gate, but may return anytime. If you let the thought pass through the gate, an identical thought my come by anytime.

Looking back, I can see that although surviving tough times was challenging, the uncertain future appeared much more terrifying. However, I have learned an important lesson from standing up for myself in the face of hardship: I deserve respect. Even in trying circumstances, I've perfected the art of setting priorities for my demands. Regardless of what other people think, I will keep setting boundaries.

"Hokore. Omae wa tsuyoi."

I was reading Seneca letter 9. The below quote caught my attention:

"The difference here between the Epicurean and our own school is this: our wise man feels his troubles but overcomes them, while their wise man does not even feel them."

So, very clearly, Seneca is making the distinction that Stoics DO feel the feels, and the Epicureans do NOT feel the feels.

Epictetus talks at great lengths about conforming to nature, and accepting who we are as we are. Nature made us an emotional species, so I posit that acting as though we are without feelings, or stuffing them, actually runs counter to our nature, and is thus both illogical and unstoic.

You can still, and must, evaluate and work with your feelings, but you can't evaluate or work with something you deny to exist.

I would also posit that feelings are required for virtue. Thinking of "bravery", let me introduce you to four people deciding if they should take a difficult action.

Person 1 feels no feelings about the action, and decides inaction.

Person 2 feels no feelings about the action, and decides to do it.

Person 3 feels terrified of the action, and decides inaction.

Person 4 feels terrified of the action, but chooses to do it anyways.

Which of the 4 would you call brave?

The same example could be made of temperance. Temperance requires both a strong feeling of longing or avoidance, and then to preform an action that runs counter to that feeling (cant have what I crave, must do what I dont want).

How can you act with justice, or compassion, or kindness, or as a cosmopolitan if you feel nothing towards anyone? How can you be wise and self-contented if you never feel satisfied or content?

So, HAVE your feelings, just understand and master them also.

One day -- this day even! -- the body will fall away from me, and it will be like a stranger to me. On that day -- is it this day? -- This life I know, will also belong to someone I have never known, though I lived in this body, felt in this boy, held those I love with this body, saw the world with this body, despite this, I will be stripped from the body, and return to nothing, to being nobody, just a soul with no body, wondering where is my body? Have you seen it?

Trying to be happy as a ghost, I know I will fly toward my body with an overpowering desire to return to it, but just as I'm about to, I will realize – 'my goodness, this carcass is already rotting!'. In perplexity, sadness, fear, and with laughter, I will call out to God, asking in the watery depths of my deepest anguish; 'Father, please give me a gift?' 'What?' 'Please give me the gift of a body, and if you would indulge me... Sir, please make it a good one, so that I too may be good!'.

What doesn't transmit light, creates its own darkness. (Meditations 7:57)

"One day, this body will fall away, and it will feel like a stranger to me. On that day, this life I now live will belong to someone I have never known, though I lived it in the very body I leave behind, callously but with love. With a bit of luck, I will be thrust into the world again, starting from nothing, rising from the ground and the ashes of humble beginnings, but always setting my sights on heaven. Let my present efforts endure; let these small, humble acts pave the way for greater things, for longer and swifter strides. Yet, come what may, let me persist. Let me endure. Let me overcome.

One day, soon enough, I will rest deeply in the present moment, renewed and reunited with the vitality of my human body. But let me be patient and wait for that day to come only when the time is right. And when the worst is upon me, when this sickness crescendos in death, let me cast this body to the ground like the immortal being I am. May God clothe me as He sees fit, but let me be a son of the light, coming in the name of the Lord. May the Son and the Father, the cosmos and the spirit of life, grant me the strength to bear this eternal cross again and again, as I traverse the great divide between life and death for all eternity.

And if there be no heaven without hell, no life without death, then give me life, and give me the strength to walk through hell to reach heaven."

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"Endure with patience what is given, for time will shape you as the earth shapes the tree."

In a clearing on the northern California coast, a young redwood stood alone, its presence subtle in the vast forest. The fog, ever-present, softened the light, leaving the sapling in a quiet half-shadow, as if waiting for the passage of time. The earth beneath it, simple and sufficient, allowed the tree’s roots to grow slowly and deliberately, finding their way without haste.

The winds, gentle and constant, never disrupted the calm. The tree grew with patient grace, its slender trunk rising steadily, each ring a quiet mark of persistence. The fog wrapped it each morning, providing a gentle dampness that accompanied its unhurried growth. There was no rush, no competition for light. It grew simply because it could, its form rising steadily, its roots deeply anchored, as if time itself had become its only companion. The tree’s quiet, measured ascent reflected the stillness of its surroundings, where growth came without force.

(The argument ending with) “What then is the result of what has been said? Is not this the result-that other things are indifferent, and that wisdom is the only good, and ignorance the only evil?”—Plato, Euthydemus

https://classics.mit.edu/Plato/euthydemus.html

“the Stoic definition of knowledge:

Knowledge is strong assent to a kataleptic impression.

Here too, as earlier with ‘belief ’, it is worth saying a word about how the Stoic use of the term ‘knowledge’ differs from our own — and here the difference is more severe. Since knowledge, like all belief, is an assent on the Stoic view, it follows that people only know things when they have them in mind, and are thinking about them — it is an event, not a disposition. In the case of ‘belief ’, we saw that English recognizes both an event-like sense and a state-like, dispositional sense. With ‘knowledge’, the case is more extreme; the state-like sense predominates in English, and the event-like sense is awkward to the point of non-existence. It is not only correct but perfectly natural to say of someone busily thinking about what to have for dinner that he knows algebra, or knows his children’s birthdays, though he is not thinking of either. And it is very odd to say of the same person, when they are recalling those same birthdays, that he ‘is knowing’ the dates (‘is in the middle of knowing them’?). We might say instead something like ‘he knows the dates, and right now he is thinking about them, too’. The Stoics would describe the same case by saying ‘at dinner he had a disposition to know the dates, and right now he is knowing them, too’, which sounds peculiar in English. Unfortunately, no other word will better convey the Stoic doctrine, and so I will use the term ‘knowledge’ while at times drawing attention to the difference by such unnatural constructions as ‘doing a bit of knowing’ or ‘having an episode of knowledge’. It is true that they also used the term ‘knowledge’ (or rather ‘episteme’) on occasion to describe the disposition-like state that we more naturally call knowledge. But it was the episodes of knowing something, that is, attending in a knowledgeable way to something one knows, that the Stoics thought were the fundamental unit in the analysis of knowledge, just as the episode of believing something is fundamental in the analysis of belief.

Thus an episode of knowing something, for example, knowing that my hand is in my pocket, involves having a strong, irreversible assent, to a kataleptic impression. There are two criteria here; the assent must be strong, and the impression must be kataleptic. If either fails, then the assent does not constitute (a bit of ) knowledge, but rather what the Stoics called ‘opinion’ (doxa in Greek).”—Brennan, The Stoic Life

“If you’re going out to take a bath, set before your mind the things that happen at the baths, that people splash you, that people knock up against you, that people steal from you. And you’ll thus undertake the action in a surer manner if you say to yourself at the outset, ‘I want to take a bath and ensure at the same time that my choice remains in harmony with nature.’”—Epictetus, Enchiridion 4

Wisdom (knowledge of what is good) is the only good, ignorance of what is good is the only evil.

Knowledge/ignorance only exist in the present moment.

It follows that, in the present moment, you are evil if you are distracted from the knowledge that wisdom is the only good.

The main teachers of stoicism met in person to discuss their teachings, with the word stoicism itself coming from where Zeno met with his followers.

I feel these kind of spaces are missing from modern life (real life discussion beats online!), at least where I am.

Do these spaces exist where you are?

Please Be Honest, If You Dont Mind Id Like To Know If You Saw A Add For This At a Good Price Would You Get It.

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