Hey everyone, I know this might not be exactly my usual wheelhouse, but as someone with a fair amount of experience with women, I wanted to share some thoughts that I think can really help guys looking to start dating. There’s a lot of advice out there, but some of the basics get overlooked, and I want to focus on things that make a real difference in your confidence and attractiveness.

But before I get into the details, here’s the most important piece of advice: Just enjoy her company. Whether it’s your first date, a casual hangout, or meeting someone new, focus on being present in the moment. Don’t stress about impressing her or trying to "seal the deal." The best connections happen when you’re genuinely enjoying each other’s company without expectations or pressure. When you’re having a good time, it shows, and that energy is contagious. So, relax, be yourself, and have fun.

Now, once you're focused on enjoying the moment, here’s how you can elevate your game and feel more confident while doing so:

1. Get Your Physique in Shape

A solid physique can make a huge difference in how you’re perceived. But it’s not just about getting big muscles or having abs. It's about being healthy and looking like you take care of yourself. Women appreciate effort — someone who cares about their health is often more attractive than someone who's just naturally fit.

• Strength Training: You don’t need to hit the gym every day, but having a consistent workout routine will help you build strength, improve posture, and boost your overall energy levels. Aim for compound movements like squats, deadlifts, and push-ups. They hit multiple muscle groups and will help build a balanced physique.
• Cardio: It's not just for fat loss, but for overall health. Even a daily 20-minute walk or jog will help improve your stamina and mood. Plus, it’s great for your heart.
• Diet: Fuelling your body with the right foods is essential. Prioritize protein, healthy fats, and carbs to keep your body in the right shape. A lot of people overlook micronutrients — things like vitamins and minerals — but they play a big role in how you look and feel.

2. Dress Sense

The way you dress speaks volumes about you. Don’t just throw on a t-shirt and jeans. Take time to figure out what works for your body type and personal style. It’s worth the effort because good fashion doesn’t mean spending a fortune.

• Fit is Key: Clothes that fit well will always look better than anything that’s too baggy or tight. A tailored look will instantly elevate your appearance.
• Learn the Basics: Every guy should own a few wardrobe essentials: a well-fitting pair of jeans, a couple of classic shirts (button-ups and T-shirts), and a good jacket. When in doubt, go for neutral colors (black, white, navy) — they’re timeless and easy to mix and match.
• Invest in Good Shoes: Shoes are one of the first things people notice. You don’t have to break the bank, but clean, well-maintained shoes can make you stand out.
• Personal Style: Over time, find what feels comfortable and what expresses who you are. Your style should feel natural, not forced. Don’t be afraid to experiment a little.

3. Skin Care

A lot of guys overlook skin care, but trust me, it’s a game-changer. Clear skin not only looks better, but it also shows that you take care of yourself.

• Basic Routine: A simple skincare routine of cleanser, moisturizer, and sunscreen goes a long way. Make sure to wash your face twice a day (morning and night) and apply sunscreen even if you’re not outside much. UV damage is real and can age your skin prematurely.
• Be Consistent: Like anything in life, consistency is key. You won’t see massive results overnight, but after a few weeks, your skin will look clearer and feel smoother.
• Hydration: Drink water throughout the day. It’s one of the easiest and cheapest ways to keep your skin looking fresh and healthy.

4. Enjoy Her Company

This is the real secret to making a connection. When you stop trying to impress and just focus on enjoying each other’s presence, things will flow much more naturally. Share laughs, have fun, and get to know each other without the pressure of "What’s next?" You’ll both feel more at ease, and the bond will form more authentically.

Remember, dating isn’t about checking off a list of things to do. It’s about getting to know someone in a relaxed way and enjoying the experience. When you stop worrying about the outcome and just enjoy the company of the person you're with, everything else will follow.

Final Thoughts

Dating is as much about how you present yourself as it is about your personality. Putting in the work on your physique, fashion, and skin care shows that you’re confident, take pride in your appearance, and care about making a good impression. But at the core of everything, enjoy her company. Enjoy the little moments, the conversations, and the connection. That’s where the magic happens.

You don’t have to be perfect, and there’s no rush. Just be yourself, stay confident, and enjoy the ride.

Good luck out there!

https://x.com/filtercoffeee/status/1856229432945467690

I'm worried this radfem self hate is genuinely going to destroy our community. I read a comment in abcdesis subreddit that put me in a doomer mood. https://www.reddit.com/r/ABCDesis/comments/1goeeo6/comment/lwp074d/

I'm hoping that this isnt what actually happens (because our women will literally be fine with us being put in gas chambers if it means they get to climb up the social ladder, or in this case get elon bucks ) . Indian "radfem" movement , unlike korea's where women literally get assaulted for coming out as a "feminist" or usa with the men literally bragging about being able to rape women (tiktoks of women experiencing "your body, my choice" spam) is simply centred around bashing men for clout and money, instead of seeking genuine disbandment of patriarchy.

Usually I'd be making posts ecouraging my brown brothers to fight back, but now I am asking for help. My life has been going well lately, grades arent too bad, I am in a rap group with two of my friends and we are gonna be grinding, and things are good, but I 've always had one insecurity, my dark skin. I am not wesley snipes type dark but I am dark enough to where people joke about it. It sucks when your own grandparents from your dad's side don't want you around because of your dark skin(which is ironic because my Dad's Dad is significantly darker than me yet he is hella colorist), and I just can't explain it, but I sometimes feel like I am not good enough because I am dark skinned, and that no matter how good I get or how many skills I have, the first thing people notice about me is my skin color, and it sucks because my mom is much lighter than I am(she had a hispanic woman approach her and speak to her in spanish), and I assume you guys have read my last post about the rejection with the white latina girl, and I was sure my skin color and race had something to do with it. Now I know that brown folks have been making significant progress in terms of representation, but I still feel insecure about my dark skin, and with the rising hate in social media against Brown people, this has been amplified, and now I am on guard everytime I meet somebody new, thinking they probably judging me even though they're not, and in turn that makes me angry, and that negative energy is only gonna hurt me and hurt those around me. So, I am asking you guys because everybody else has only given me mainstream bs advice like "Oh you gotta love yourself" or some bs like that, because they are mostly light/medium skinned people, now granted a couple of them had the opposite where they were bullied for being light skinned in an all black school, but I need help from you guys because many of you have been in or are currently in the same shoes, please help.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-second-cabinet-administration-vivek-ramaswamy-b2644594.html

-> Grew up in Ohio

-> Middle class

-> Went to yale (on merit)

-> Gets married, has kids

-> "Convinces" boomers to take part in an "investment scheme"

-> Makes billions

-> Used cash to buy political influence via podcast/media appearances

-> Went onto the debate stage with the prime objective of defending trump & Trashing Nikki / Desantis (and defending MAGA)

-> DOESNT CHANGE HIS RELIGION/CULTURE TO APPEAL TO REPUBLICANS (Like the vast majority of minorities in politics).

-> Seen by Trump

-> Endorses trump

-> Buys buzfeed (very prudent for a politican)

-> Best friend (who has kids named 'vivek') becomes the VP pick

-> Trump wins, MAGA becomes the dominant political force

-> Becomes a candidate to make electoral decisions for Ohio (the state he grew up in), and one the most influential Indians in america.

-> Loved by right wingers

-> Shapes the political dialectic with high verbal IQ (Trump has changed his position to favor stapling greencards to diplomas)

Be more like Vivek. Partisanship doesnt matter, I welcome a left wing Indian counterpart. This is as much "south asian masculinity" as getting matches on tinder (more important even). You should want our people to excert our will on society and have a hand in shaping it.

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Rules still apply

TL;DR

Use the Eurocels Inferiority complex of wanting to be Aryan against them

The Aryan Invasion Theory was a propaganda developed by the Goras to divide Unified Bharata/ Aryavartha. But the Eurocels cant cope with this fact. This theory was based on outdated assumptions that just don’t line up with historical or scientific evidence. The so-called “Aryan Picnic” is closer to the truth peaceful migrations and cultural exchange over time. But they wont acknowledge this fact publicly because they want to keep the population uneducated so they can have influence and control on us.

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The idea of being "Aryan" has had a weird grip on European and Western minds for centuries, feeding into myths of superiority and dominance.

A linguist named William Jones noticed some similarities between Sanskrit and European languages, sparking the theory of a shared proto-Indo-European ancestor. This morphed into an idea that Europeans could claim connection to an ancient “Aryan” race (start of their Copium) as they assumed they are superior and belonged to the only 'race' superior to them.

Why the theory was false:

• Archaeology Doesn’t Back It: If there was some big invasion of “Aryans” in 1500 BCE, we’d expect to see traces in ancient sites. But digs at places like Harappa and Mohenjo-Daro show no evidence of major warfare or an invasion-level influx of foreign people. It just doesn’t add up.

• Genetic Research Debunks It: DNA studies paint a different story. There’s a mix of genes across India, but no sign of a big, sudden invasion by a distinct “Aryan” group. Instead, the gene pool has more of a continuous history with migrations happening gradually, not through some epic conquest.

• Alternative Theory – The “Aryan Picnic”: Many scholars now argue that Indo-European migrations happened over time, through peaceful movements and cultural exchange, not war. It’s even nicknamed the “Aryan Picnic Theory” because it’s likely people just gradually moved around, sharing language, ideas, and tech without the need to conquer anyone.

So Why Are Eurocels Still Claiming to Be "Aryan"? (Its the Eurocels Inferiority Complex)

The obsession with “Aryan” identity is partly a hangover from colonialism. European narratives in the 19th and 20th centuries were obsessed with justifying cultural supremacy, and the term “Aryan” was a convenient way to link Europe to ancient achievements and imply a shared lineage of greatness. This idea clung on, even though it’s been debunked, because it props up a sense of historical prestige.

But let’s get one thing clear: “Aryan” wasn’t even a racial term originally. It described a cultural and linguistic group, not some exclusive “master race.” Trying to hang onto it as a racial badge is not only outdated but ignores what we now know thanks to science and archaeology.

Don't let the "Incel Gora Eurocel trolls" fool you about this. I suggest we use this against them as they feel proud with being associated with 'Aryan'. Which in reality is literally just the Indian (South Asian People), Iranian people.

I’m a proud Indian, and I genuinely believe that an Indian accent can carry you far in life—I've seen it work in professional settings. However, I’ve found that when it comes to dating, particularly with Western women, my accent can feel like a bit of a barrier to connection. This has led me to focus on accent training to help refine my speech without losing my cultural identity.

I'm wondering if anyone here has worked on accent production or has experience with English accent platforms. Are there any coaches or specific platforms (like Preply, etc.) you'd recommend that are both effective and affordable? I'm looking for options that will help me connect more easily without breaking the bank.

Thanks in advance

Note : I've dated several Western women before, and I've had multiple white girlfriends, so I'm not coming into this without experience. Please understand my purpose here and focus on constructive advice.

I've noticed an uptick in harmful stereotypes and misinformation targeting Indians, and I'm looking for ways to fight back with credible information, clever memes, and robust fact-checking tactics. I'm not just talking about responding to the outright offensive comments—I'm interested in tackling the subtler stereotypes and misrepresentations too.

I'm looking for:

1. Solid Sources and Studies – Reliable research, statistics, and historical facts that can debunk myths about India’s culture, economy, and people. Anything from studies on India's tech industry contributions to insights on its diversity and achievements.
2. Meme Ideas – I’ve seen that humor and irony can sometimes work better than just serious responses, so I’d love help with creating or finding memes that counter stereotypes without being aggressive or antagonistic.
3. Fact-Checking Tips – What resources or fact-checking techniques do you find best for online debates? I’d love to learn about tools to cross-check info, spot fake news, and address claims with credible sources.

I run a small but growing Discord community focused on fitness, diet, and breaking free from the skinny fat struggle. Most of us are South Asian guys, and let’s be real—this body type seems to hit our community hard. We're all about sharing what actually works to build muscle, burn fat, and ditch that "skinny fat" look for good.

So, I want to hear from you:
What’s your biggest barrier to getting in shape? Is it work stress, finances, time, family commitments—or something else? (And please, no one say genetics)

I think it's very important you can actually state what the barrier is so you can actually confront it for what it is, a problem with a name and a solution and not some shapeless formless monster that won't let you pass this bridge out of skinny fat.

In an interview with The Print (funded by the US), he's blaming us for Trump, saying we voted heavily for him. Which has been proven false again and again. He wants the country to target us.

Shashi Tharoor decodes Trump's return to power, how it may affect India-US trade ties & H-1B visas (youtube.com)

Go to 12:15

https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/1gkqp8r/comment/lvnmh2s/

For the millionth time, they will find virtually any excuse to shit on you, including projecting their own worst characteristics on you. Do not give a fuck about "competing" "fairly" with them or something, lie, cheat and snatch your way to the top of the system. And be ruthlessly nepotistic with hiring desis over other ethnicties (in whatever field you work in) .

Will South Asians be more scapegoated now due to the Musk-Trump relationship and the power that Elon Musk will now have?

Hey everyone,

I see a lot of us here comparing ourselves to other groups and wondering if our genetics stack up. Genetics definitely play a role in fitness and body composition, but South Asians have more genetic overlap with neighboring Eurasian groups than most people realize. Let’s dive into how our heritage influences our bodies and how we can maximize our potential.

1. Our Genetic Tapestry: Strong Eurasian Connections

South Asians have complex, rich genetics that blend influences from multiple ancient populations across Eurasia. Here’s a breakdown of what makes up our ancestry:

•	Ancient Middle Eastern and Iranian Ancestry: About 8,000–10,000 years ago, early Iranian farmers with Basal-Eurasian ancestry expanded east, bringing agricultural knowledge and their genes to South Asia. This means many South Asians share genetic markers with people in the Middle East, and even Europe, due to these ancient connections.
•	Indo-European Steppe Ancestry: About 4,000–5,000 years ago, migrations from the Eurasian Steppe introduced Indo-European languages and brought additional genetic influences. This ancestry is more pronounced in northern South Asia, especially in regions like Punjab and areas with high Indo-Aryan influence. It connects us to Eastern European populations, which might surprise people who assume there’s a huge genetic gap between South Asians and Europeans.
•	Diverse Ancestral South Asian Lineages: Our oldest genetic roots are tied to indigenous South Asian populations, which diverged from other human populations tens of thousands of years ago. This heritage is prominent in southern India and certain isolated tribal communities. These adaptations include traits like a high tolerance for heat and humidity, an evolutionary advantage in tropical environments.

So, if you’re feeling like your genes are totally different from those of Europeans or Middle Easterners, remember that South Asia is part of a broader Eurasian heritage. We have plenty in common genetically with populations across Eurasia while also having unique traits that set us apart.

2. Key Physical Strengths Derived from Our Heritage

South Asians tend to have distinct strengths shaped by our ancestral mix. Here’s what that means for athletics and fitness:

•	Endurance and Stamina: Our tropical and subtropical environments have shaped our genetics to be resilient under intense conditions, helping us excel in endurance-based activities. Cricket, distance running, field hockey, and martial arts all benefit from these natural traits.
•	Lean Muscle Potential: South Asians might generally have lower levels of muscle mass compared to some populations, but we have a high capacity for lean muscle. With the right training, South Asians can develop lean, athletic builds that emphasize endurance, agility, and flexibility.
•	Agility and Flexibility: South Asians are often naturally agile and flexible, and these strengths are well-suited to sports like martial arts, gymnastics, and activities requiring a full range of motion. Yoga, which originated in South Asia, reflects this cultural and genetic predisposition toward flexibility, balance, and body control.

3. Using Our Genetic Strengths to Build a Strong, Fit Body

While genetics provide the foundation, your choices shape your body. Here’s how to get the most out of what you have:

•	Strength Training: South Asians may need to work a bit harder to build bulky muscle due to typically lower baseline muscle mass, but strength training can build dense, strong muscles. Compound exercises (like squats, deadlifts, and bench presses) are ideal for building functional strength, which suits our natural endurance and agility.
•	Cardio and Endurance Work: Our genes give us an edge in activities that require stamina and endurance. Adding regular cardio, like running, swimming, or cycling, can help leverage our genetic strengths while improving cardiovascular health.
•	Flexibility Training: Building flexibility and agility keeps us competitive in sports and resilient in daily life. Practicing yoga or dynamic stretching enhances these strengths and helps prevent injuries.
•	High-Protein, Balanced Diet: Nutrition plays a huge role in athletic performance. A balanced diet with high protein can support muscle growth, which may require extra attention in South Asians who might naturally lean toward carbs. Incorporate lean meats, legumes, eggs, and plant-based proteins like chickpeas and lentils to help fuel your fitness.
•	Consistency and Mental Discipline: Our culture has a deep history of mental discipline, which is a game-changer in sports and fitness. Regular training, commitment, and focus are what make any athlete successful, regardless of genetic background. Channeling that discipline into a workout routine can elevate your performance.

4. Understanding That Strength and Fitness Go Beyond Genetics

It’s true that some traits come easier to certain groups, but ultimately, hard work and discipline are what make the difference. South Asians have many unique genetic strengths that we can use to build a healthy, fit, and resilient body. A combination of endurance, flexibility, mental focus, and lean muscle potential gives us a solid foundation to compete in any sport or fitness goal we set.

Don’t let insecurities around genetics hold you back. Embrace the strengths we inherit, stay consistent with healthy habits, and remember that fitness is about working with what you have, not against it. Let’s make the most of our unique heritage and create a strong, fit version of ourselves.

It really feels like Instagram is targeting me as a South Asian man. I created a new account and haven’t interacted with any clearly racist posts, yet I still see this content. Reporting these posts seems pointless since the moderators don’t seem to recognize anything wrong. I constantly come across comments about India on unrelated posts for no reason at all. Even on a dropshipping account, I saw racist replies like “Saar” just because an Indian person asked a question about their product. Plus, the "Save Europe" accounts are openly hating on India in their posts and comments, seemingly because they feel threatened by North Africans and Arabs. It just doesn’t make any sense!

To make matters worse, Looksmaxxing accounts often post comparisons of the most unattractive Indian individuals alongside the most attractive white people. It feels like they think they have to post nasty or mean stuff about India and the Indian subcontinent just to stay relevant, especially given the size of our population. It’s frustrating to see such blatant negativity and unfair comparisons being promoted online.

Personally, I have none. I'm a 21 y/o dark-skinned, 5'8" Sri-Lankan, and I'm practically invisible to them.

I mean, I don't think my looks or personality have anything to do with it, maybe more with looks if colorism has something to do with it; but I've dated plenty of White girls, Hispanic girls, some Black girls, and even East Asian girls. Hell, lately I've been attracting EA women like crazy ever since I shaved my beard. 🤣

My Indian brothers at my university haven't had much luck either. The general consensus among us is that SA women tend to be really bitchy, arrogant, stuck-up, etc... Honest to God, I'd have better luck rizzing up a basic white sorority girl than a SA girl.

I've been to a few of the ISA (Indian Student Assocation) events on my campus, and it seriously feels like the SA women actively try to avoid SA men, especially at parties and such. There are a few nice ones who will ask who I am (ISA is a very tight-knit community; I only started showing up recently) but it never really goes beyond that. I actually managed to pull a North Indian girl from one of these parties, but you can imagine the total lack of surprise on my face when she ghosted me two days later. ☠️

So, what gives? I feel like I might have to accept that I won't be having ethnic kids.

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Rules still apply

Earlier I had posted on this sub that my diet was messed up after moving to the US, and I got a lot of good suggestions. Now, I want to start hitting the gym at my university and bulk up but I am on my own here.

Can you guys be kind enough to suggest a beginner weekly workout plan which I can refer to start with, I am doing this with the intention of bulking up.

To all racist shit posters on X even the owner of x got stumped by a local Mumbai boy from India

Hi all, I am 22 recent university graduate from India planning my studies in Belgium.

Although I am not entirely sure about doing a masters, as I would apply for very less universities and don't know if I am getting accepted in any.

But still wanted to know about this.

I am 5'9" yellowish-brown skin (if that matters)

Every time I see a post of an Indian guy/men posting their Dating win, they almost always do not state their Physical Attributes (such as Height,Face,muscle build, Hair) and their environment in which they were raised.

First the environment, it is pretty intuitive to think that your surrounding shapes the way you are, the way you think etc.

Second the Physical attributes;now this is where things starts to become tricky because generally the guys posting here could be in some way are just conventionally attractive or above average (Tall, wellbuilt, athletic etc) which is in fact playing a major role in their dating success which could give Average Indian guys some wrong ideas about how dating works which can be a problem and also if an average Indian guy does get success in dating (which I absolutely believe they can) and if they post that in this sub the average Indian guys could get a lot more insights about dating success by engaging in conversation with each other because it is a conversation between two people who are not so different from each other, one became successful through different means rather than his looks and got a positive result and the average Indian guy could follow his advice regarding things he needs to change.

This is just something I was thinking about when I was stoned, this question is directed mainly towards my fellow Indian/South Asian-Americans, but feel free to chime in regardless of where you're from, Which race do you think we get along with most in the states? Whites, Blacks, Latinos, East Asians, South East Asians, Middle Easterners, Mixed Race, or Pacific Islanders, and which race majority do you think South Asians would feel most welcomed and safe?(Assuming we give them the same amount of respect) Any answer besides South Asian

Elon musk, is the biggest contributor to Indian hate. Man has set twitters ( I’m not calling it X lol) algorithm in a way whereby any negative coverage concerning Indians or India gets amplified. He doesn’t pull this shit with the Chinese because he knows it will affect his business. If the modi government were to simply threaten him from banning his products in India for being anti India he would change his tune. High key the modi government is cucked. Indians get hate online but we in the diaspora get the hate in real life smh. My advice still stands, focus on self improvement and do the best you can , but as I’ve mentioned in the past soft power matters a lot. Especially y’all youngins, who are coming of age will have to work harder. I’m sorry but the macro environment for Indians is not good.

Y’all can still win if you put enough effort into self improvement, however be prepared for back handed compliments like “ oh your really attractive for an Indian guy” “ I would’ve nvr guessed you were Indian” . Remember my previous post concerning the evidence board… even amongst this shit storm of shitty rep there are still desi guys who are winning so don’t lose hope.