(or has anyone tried to push you to socialize with others who you dont feel like socializing with or have little in common, or even tried to change you?)

[Im not totally against socializing with others outside my cultural identity, im just extremely selective and I just want to have a few others who I share my cultural identity as well as moral values and standards in my circle as well.]

I honestly am not trying to have microaggressions to anyone or any particular group in general as I know that anyone in this country can have low standards and values such as people in my family or I myself in the past did. I know im going to get flak from the sheltered virtue signalers or the DEI and "everyone is equal or the same crowd" but honestly? I was born in 93 in Socal and ive been around......That stuffs not true at all anyways.......

Take for instance Japan for example, they have such a high quality of standards embedded in them since they were children that its safe for 10 year olds to travel the train on their own, they can leave doors unlocked during the day or their city gutters are so clean that expensive koi fish swim in them. Japan rightfully so has a strict immigration policy where if you plan to visit or immigrate then you must AT LEAST be respectful of their laws. If japan were to just blindly, and naively open their doors to everyone who may not have the same values as they do things would change.

Now on to me and why I feel such a dissonance and discord with they way people tried to raise me or push their agendas onto me. From a young age once I was exposed to certain people and I disliked how they treated me or how they behaved my own parents always encouraged me to be "open minded" and to tolerate or ignore negative things that I experienced but affected me deeply. This in my opinion probably stems from "colonial mentality" which is something that I feel some of my people experienced due to colonialism.

This continued as I moved onto highschool, continuation school and then from one general labor job to the next. I dont communicate to my father at all anymore and my mom seems to have learned a lesson from observing how people took advantage or disrespected us due to our complacency and compliance. But now I feel like the people who push this narrative are Asians who dont know any better or try to virtue signal thus making me feel alone when I finally seek out council from so called people who have higher standards and values than the previous crowds me and similar Asians in this group have been in.

First time hearing about this at all..

That's the problem, the whole Asian community needs to be aware when they're getting exploited / attacked / taken advantage of. Unfortunately sometimes we can only read about it in subreddits as they're not reported in mainstream AND social media.

He was just sentenced to 16 years in prison. But this is a common theme and as you know, Asians, specifically women are vulnerable and targeted.

https://nypost.com/2023/06/15/finance-exec-54-accused-of-drugging-and-raping-young-teen-at-hotels-across-nyc/

https://preview.redd.it/38t01az5ph7e1.png?width=1520&format=png&auto=webp&s=720ab5ba812c36b843df17cbcaf8f72823a5c903

I don't want to blame the victims, I just think we need to educate our sisters / friends about what goes on. Reminds me of this disgusting crime. : https://www.telegraph.co.uk/us/news/2024/02/19/troy-phillip-bohling-rape-murder-eva-liu-germany-bavaria/

To start, I was a former competitive martial artist (Tae Kwon Do, Judo) and currently do MMA recreationally. Because of this, I'm also intermediate level in BJJ (purple) and do kickboxing/muay thai.

I absolutely love fighting. Nothing is better. It's better than dating and sex. It gives me a reason to want to get ripped, gain muscle, and do cardio. I love talking to men while knowing in the back of my head I could handle them in a fight. Men seem to sense this type of confidence, but it's hard to explain this dynamic unless you do it too. It's primal.

A lot of Asian men regretfully have no idea how to fight. And when they are thrust in one, clumsily throw a few sad punches or nothing at all. This needs to change.

I hosted several self defense seminars in my local Asian community during the Anti-Asian attacks during COVID, and here are some basic tips I taught in those seminars:

• Be hyper aware. Look at their arms. Look at their legs. Look at everything.
• Hands up. Cover your face. Tuck your chin in.
• Adopt a side stance. This involves putting one foot back with the other pointed at your attacker. Turn to your side and point your shoulder at them. This reframes your body and makes it harder to hit, while making it easier for you to strike.
• The most critical element of a fight is the space between you two. Either stay out of striking range, or step deep into it. Do not hang out in the middle.
• You only need 3 strikes to be a "fighter". A jab, a straight, and a thrust kick. That's it. Spare yourself 20 years of fancy martial arts and just practice 3 moves. It's all you need.
• You jab at their face to maintain distance. Your straight aims at their jaw or cheekbone for damage. And your thrust kick aims at their knees or above their knees to maintain distance (and it hurts).
• The rodeo is essentially maintain and keep distance, wait for them to slip up --- then step in with your straight and pop them or better yet, step away and run.

These tips will put you above 90% of random attackers on the street.

In general, do not fight on concrete. Do not fight against groups. And understand that most aggressors want an easy fight. They're bullies, not UFC fighters. The second a fight turns difficult or costly, they'll usually come up with some bullshit to leave the scene. And as always, escape if you can, ideally towards a crowded area.

If any other warrior brothers want to add tips, feel free to comment below. Hope this helps.

I never like my partial epicanthic folds on my eyelids and wish I had full double eyelids. Do you think it’s worth changing because double eyelids are generally more attractive? It’s just in the inner corner of my eyelid and my outer is double but I wish my full eyelid was double because I think it looks better

I'm a big Uncle Roger hater like most of you here. Ever since he went mainstream the dumb WHITE kids at school all started mimicking his fake accent. Everyone that has tried to call him out either has gained no traction or has been shouted down by all his skibidi fans to the point of deleting videos and closing comments, but I was recommended a video yesterday that I think might FINALLY change public opinion about Uncle Roger.

The video is very convincing and the comment section is actually calling out Uncle Roger too. It sucks that this matters but a couple of top comments are from Black people calling out Uncle Roger, and we all know this matters since all the Libs will fall in line when Black people says something. Sad but true.

The video also calls out Steven He but there's something about Uncle Roger's smugness that ticks me off extra. That guy who hate crimed him did us all a favour.

https://youtu.be/B_1T8IWFzdg

In closing, Uncle Roger SUXX. Amen.

i'm first generation chinese-canadian, 19, currently studying mathematics and actuarial science at a top canadian school. I chose this path mostly because of the career prospects and to make my parents proud, not because i'm passionate about it. I had a high gpa in high school, but since coming to uni i've struggled with the math courses and find the insurance/corporate finance material really dry and boring. i've thought about switching majors or dropping out every day since i started but i don't know what else i would do and i'm scared to take that risk.

this might sound naive but i don't really care about getting really rich and wealthy. I feel so burnt out that I just want to live a low stress, comfortable life. Im curious to hear from other asian dudes who've dealt with high family expectations, how did you navigate this time of your life? what do you do for a living?

Im talking about all the AFs we see in ads, Hollywood as in the ad nauseum movies like Shogun, etc. Constant talk on the internet as regards AF/WM and these vids mostly made by white incels. The Whatever podcasts, even Fung Bros, Chang Nation, Chinese Historian, et al. To the point where many of us groan when it pops up anywhere and everywhere. I've seen more than a few snide remarks alluding to these when the topic has totally nothing to do with it.

In retaliation we AMs call out 'sour grapes, bitter melons'. It stays alive bc it gets attention, likes, karma, thumbs up and so forth. Thing is it has reached aunty LU, and a lot of other AFs, college profs, white males and females, blk, Latins, Middle Easterners. Anyone who's gone on the net surely got wind of it. Although I personally don't scream out as a rule.

I sometimes join in just to pick up some quick karma and popularity. Since its gone viral, one of the glaring benefits are that everyone has an eye on AFs and who they're walking with. It's a bit of a gatekeeper so that AFs can't help but be scrutinized in public and on her pages. Everyone's always looking to see if she is 'one of those'. Of course many AFs, particularly hard core LUs will still do what they do but they know now that everyone is on to her.

Hey sorry if this post is a few weeks late, I wanted to wait until it was certain our Asian brothers won! Both of these elections started off with our brothers losing, but as the vote count kept going on the tides started to turn in their favor! Both of these brothers had significantly less funding than their opponents. The case of Derek Tran is a big deal because this Viet bro beat a Lu who used Sinophobia/anti China rhetoric to get Vietnamese to vote for her. Steven Choi's election was a big deal because it was the first time in over 40 years that a California state senate seat turned republican, also he had much less funding than his opponent.

Let's keep on voting for Asian bros so we see more Asian male faces in leadership government positions and on TV.

Let's keep on voting for Asian bros so it sends a message that Asian Votes Matter.

Let's keep on voting for Asian bros so that we can empower them to empower us!!

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/nov/27/derek-tran-democrat-california-house-race

https://www.kcra.com/article/california-state-senate-seat-flips-republican-orange-county-choi/63015077

Update: a reddit bro also mentioned Senator Andy Kim from New Jersey, the race wasn't as tight as the two other Asian bros, but winning is all that matters!
https://newjerseymonitor.com/2024/12/09/andy-kim-is-now-new-jerseys-newest-senator/

Update #2: another Asian brutha mentioned Korean Dave Min winning in another California Election
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/asian-america/democrat-dave-min-defeats-scott-baugh-critical-california-house-race-rcna176912

Shameless plug - help support other Asians!!!

Tell Asian high schoolers that they will get more college aid if they show low income on their FAFSA 
https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianMasculinity/comments/tpp90a/update_i_brought_millions_of_into_our_asian/

Ideas on how to Support Asian Businesses 
https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianMasculinity/comments/qsvooi/support_asian_businesses_with_our_asian_wealth/

Open call for Asian positive activism and ideas for activism 
https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianMasculinity/comments/13sq7gz/open_call_for_asian_positive_activism/

Tonight's college cup final between Marshall and Vermont will feature 5 asian players:

Marshall:

• Taimu Okiyoshi
• Takahiro Fujita
• Haruhi Taneda
• Eijin Magota

Vermont:

• Jeremy Tsang

Way to represent boys!

Just wondering about everyone’s experience in SLC, Utah. It appears work (laid off, found new job) will take me from Southern California to Utah.

Pros? Cons? And everything in between?

Hi all,

I have been wanting to move back to my home country China for a while now, after coming back from a recent China trip, it made me even more determined to live there. Not only was the development far ahead of where I live (UK), it just felt like home and I was deeply connected.

I currently hold a British passport. I am 25, working as a trainee accountant at a massive US FMCG conglomerate. I am working towards my management accounting qualification (CIMA). It would probably take another 1-1.5 years before I become a fully qualified management accountant, so I can’t move until then.

Ideally, I would like to move to an Asian country where I can speak the language (English and Mandarin). Shanghai would be perfect as it was my childhood home before moving to the UK, although I am open to all tier 1 Chinese cities, HK, Taiwan, SG, KL.

Currently, I can see three options for this move. 1. Company transferring me to the Asian office (something I can request after I become fully qualified), 2. Switch companies that give me a position in Asia, 3. Find and work for an Asian company.

My mandarin level is 80% speaking/listening, 50% reading and writing. I would like to get my reading and writing levels to 80% before the move.

Is anyone here who is an overseas Asian managed to successfully relocate back to their native country? Please give me some advices on how to achieve this. Of course, moving back to China, I would still like to be paid on UK/US salary levels. Would not be fussed in HK and SG as the salary levels are similar. To add, I have a girlfriend who is Italian, also a trainee accountant working towards to be fully qualified (Italian equivalent). How possible is it for her to find a job in China/Asia?

Hello all! I am 33 (half japanese/half white) and been single for a very long time. I always liked Asian men (mostly eastern asian) but I find it difficult to find any men to be interested in me.. I am very more white looking which I thought it might work in my favor but apparently not.. I am a bit chubby but working on that.. do asian men not like mixed asian girls? And when I do try to put myself out there I don't get any hits only guys very much not my type... I am a introvert but do extrovert activities. I am good at cooking, cleaning and I like working out, video games, anime, cosplay, sew, have alot of japanese tendencies and etc.. can I get some tips or advice?

Did an experiment. Ran a bumble account in Chicago for 24 hours with no swiping and got 25 likes. and fhen i did the same thing in amsterdam and got ONE like after 24 hours 😭😭😭. Anyone else has the same experience or is it just me?

Just came back from a trip in China. My girlfriend (Italian) prior to this trip had virtually no knowledge of what China was like. It was incredible to see her just getting awestruck by the modernity, culture, and history of China. She realised just how far ahead China is compared to Europe.

With Western media constantly bashing Asian culture for the last 100 years, I can’t stress how important it is for 1. Overseas Asians like myself to reconnect with my land and 2. Sharing this with your significant other. Immerse them into our rich culture and history. Let them know that the positive things about Asia are not just K-POP, anime, and bubble tea.

My gf’s family and friends also have virtually no knowledge of Asia apart from what I listed above. After seeing the pictures/videos my gf took and hearing the experiences she had, now they all want to come to China and see for themselves.

The more I research into this guy, the more I realize how likeable he was. This dude really had it all, and it seems like he also was close to alot of Asian friends. I’m just wondering what everyone’s thoughts are on this guy. Personally, I think he’s a hero and I really feel for this kid. As someone who had a broken ankle, and had to deal with the bullshit of insurance, I can tell you it is a nightmare to deal with. Thankfully in my case, it was only a temporary situation, and my ankle fully healed. I can’t imagine living with chronic debilitating back pain like he did, only to get screwed by insurance.

Asian American Men’s Gendered Racial Socialization and Fragmented Masculinity: Interpretive Phenomenological Analysis

by Brian TaeHyuk Keum, Lydia HaRim Ahn, Andrew Young Choi, Adil Choudhry, Mary Nguyen, Gintare M. Meizys, Annalisa Chu, and Maynard Hearns

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epub/10.1177/00110000231170310

I had ChatGPT write a summary of a section of the paper:

"This article examines the intersection of race and gender in the socialization of Asian American men, proposing a gendered racial socialization framework. Traditional studies often focus on race or gender separately, but this framework shows how both influence identity. Asian American parents typically encourage children to embrace their heritage while assimilating into mainstream U.S. society. The gendered racial socialization concept highlights how adolescent boys navigate masculine roles while facing racial prejudices. The developmental-contextual framework situates this process within family dynamics and broader societal norms, illustrating how racial and gendered experiences shape the identity of men of Color, who face unique dual challenges."

The good stuff starts with the part below:

Results

We identified seven themes with subcategories: (a) intergenerational parental ideologies, (b) geographic and neighborhood influences, (c) multilevel gendered racism, (d) silencing of gendered racial experiences, (e) survival by identity erasure, (f) rare experiences of affirmation, and (g) fragmented masculinity.

Interview excerpts are interesting, like this:

I tried once to apply for management at this job that I had because I had the credentials that I needed, and I had the experience. And one of my other coworkers, he had the charisma. For some reason, he could make mistakes that I couldn’t make, and it was okay. And he was White. And so, everybody just assumed that he was going to be the next manager, even though he was always like, “I don’t want anything to do with that. That’s too much pressure. I’m not interested.” I was actually interested in applying and when [my coworkers] heard I was applying, they weren’t against it, but you kind of got this feeling that they weren’t sure how they felt about it, right? So, on top of that, in the company, there were no Asian men in leadership.

For casual discussions, shower thoughts, rants, half-baked conspiracy theories, or any other mind droppings.

Today marks the first day of tax relief for the next few months and just wanted everyone to know that retailers are NOT REQUIRED to give you a tax holiday. However, you can save your receipts and file a claim here to get it back here

Don't care to discuss politics, simply letting everyone know there's a way to get your tax $ back if the retailer chooses not to participate. I did encounter this today and it was a weird situation on Best Buy's website: I was trying to buy a Meta Quest 3 and in Chrome, it had the taxes applied but in Microsoft Edge, it did not. But either way I would have gotten the tax back.

I see so many posts of AM talking about getting abs, dressing like kpop stars, and trying to land more hinge matches.

Even if you get these dating matches, it is no guarantee that you'll actually have a good relationship. Those are two different things.

The fact is, the more you strive to get a girlfriend, the worse that relationship starts off. That's because you start with the expectation that it's your job to please, work, and maintain the relationship. She'll always expect you to do all the work because that's how you guys got together. This is an exhausting affair that'll never lead to true happiness.

Instead, work on being extremely confident and attracting women. Focus on developing real life friends groups and real life friendships that can lead to true partners.

A relationship with a girl who admires you versus a girl whom you convinced into dating you is like night and day. It is the literal difference between uphill and downhill. And one is way more fun than the other.

The best way to live a masculine life is to fully devote yourself to your interests, gain status and influence within that sphere, and build a social circle where you hold a level of respect and status. It's how your grandpa did it, your great grandpa did it, and how your dad did it. Fuck the apps.

One of the most toxic Asian parenting behaviors was constantly comparing your child to another child. This led to constant competition and insecurity in a lot of Asian American kids growing up.

Unfortunately, a lot of us grew up with this mindset and still have it deeply ingrained. When you see videos of Jonny Kim, you automatically will always see threads and comments saying "Now my mom will never be proud of me" or "that one cousin you hate".

While these are ultimately jokes, I see it as a symptom of a deeper issue in the community --- we constantly compare ourselves against each other negatively, and this results in an inability to cooperate.

South Asians, for what its worth, have been able to make handshake deals with themselves and form family alliances, even in today's modern America. That's why you see a large number of Indian managers and CEOs slowly invading industries where they have great numbers (ex. tech). They marry one another and promote their own. I have personally seen firsthand of inflated performance reports that were purely done for political purposes.

Until East Asians learn to stop treating each other with hostility and arrogance, and a constant need to one up on each other, we will never collectively form a powerful interest group to advocate for our needs.

The dysfunction is deeply ingrained in us, and we need to be kinder to fellow Asian American men. I hate nothing more than the cocky Asian American male who talks a big game around his Asian community friends but suddenly become meek and docile around men of other ethnicities. Glass houses are easily broken.

someone on another sub said it was a lack of hairstyle but idk

i like the look of it and wanting to know what its called

I don't have alot to add other than this screen shot I recieved was both surprising, funny and quite disgusting. I'm happy and grateful that she took things well and wasn't hurt by the bogus comments this white supremacist made. Been in a relationship with her for almost a year now but I already know that she's a keeper.

As Gen Y, I've seen a slight change throughout the years. There has been progress, though not linear. Generally, people try to be more covert with their racism. I still wouldn't argue racial issues for Asians is okay nowadays. I'd be interested to hear in how things compare throughout different generations.

One difference I notice is more XF are open to dating AM, and it's socially less acceptable for non-Asians to have problems with it. There's also less talk about how Asians are genetically inferior, though online it is still prevalent.

Based in NYC, when I was in elementary school my Korean church went on a field trip to either upstate or Long Island. We played a pickup game of basketball with some of the local white kids. We were winning, and the whites started getting very emotional. They eventually left mid-game, and we thought it was odd. Soon after, they came back with 2 white cops. We started to play again, and after one of my teammates scored, the cops yelled at us that it's their country. So we purposedly had to lose the game, bringing smiles and joy to the white kids and the police.

I remember non-Asians used to say that Asians can't dance. Because they believed them to be genetically inferior. In NYC, this stereotype didn't really exist. But when I went to college in upstate, a lot of non-Asians had this racist view. The reaction when they found out the truth was funny though. When I showed them videos of Asians winning hip hop dance competitions, they were furious. They claimed those dancers had "American blood" from the previous wars. Some even cried.

I understand terrible acts of violence still occur against Asians. However, I do notice a slight decrease for the average Asian. Most of the younger Asians I know were not assaulted for their race. For my generation and location, getting into fights was common, and every AM was beatup at least once because of their race. However, one thing that has not changed is the lack of punishment for violence against Asians. Years ago, someone from my school and his friends got bashed with baseball bats. It was 2 white guys, in a clear hate crime, road rage incident. One of the attackers only got probation, and the other got some prison time only because he attacked a non-Asian in separate road rage incident. This is similar to the Eng brother who got prison for fighting back, while the attackers got zero punishment. I have countless stories of AM getting punished legally or socially for fighting back against aggressors, or XM having no consequences for attacking us.

There were also a lot of teachers who were proudly racist. They have to be more careful nowadays because of phone cameras. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff I heard in the classrooms.

I am a Latina woman, but I lived for some years in an East Asian country. My love life there was fine. When I came back to my country, it was hard to get used to everything again, but the hardest thing was to go back to the dating scene. I no longer found anything in common with the men back home, and even though I have tried, I can no longer connect with them. I have had a few dates with Asians here, they went well, but most of them were tourist or left the country after a few months. Lately I’ve been traveling to countries with more Asian men, but they didn't seem really interested in me, or they never tried to approach me. Are Asian men open to dating Latinas?

I'm going to paint in the broad strokes, but these generalizations should make sense.

In movies geared towards women, the climax of the movie is when the young girl finally accepts her inner beauty and wears a stunning dress. She walks with dignity in a contentious environment (usually a ballroom) while the villain of the movie (usually an older woman) loses all composure and has a freakout in the crowd. Everyone looks at her embarrassedly as mascara runs down her face and she runs out of the room.

This is the "female" version of victory --- remaining calm and believing in one's inner beauty. The "villain" is defeated when she loses her composure and her temper.

In movies geared towards men, the climax is when the main character finally accepts his responsibility and duty. His older mentor or father figure dies, and he gravely assumes the mantle as a protector or hero. In almost all depictions, the villain in these movies is defeated in combat or something very similar to combat. The villain most usually, literally dies. Aggression, combat, seeking power and strength --- is rewarded in the masculine hero's journey.

In modern society, there is an erroneous fixation on remaining stoic and calm in the face of hostility, with many tenets of Asian culture backing that up. This is a "female" tactic of fighting.

AM generally don't complain. We value silence. We weigh our words extremely carefully. We don't like bringing up our flaws, anger, aggression, and controversial opinions. We don't even fucking complain about things. We value these traits as being virtuous--- but in showmanship America, all this does is hurt us.

I propose a new perspective: being brash, rude, aggressive, outspoken, and embracing a more difficult personality to work with. I want AM to be cavalier and bold. I want AM to be as standoffishly obnoxious to men of other races as possible. Not be a jerk --- but rather, just be very comfortable taking up the spotlight.

This kind of behavior, ironically, actually fights against our stereotypes. Asian Men have a hall pass to be jackasses. Food for thought.

Edit: All y'all talking about being confident stoics but 99% of every Asian guy I have ever met is a shy introvert whenever he's out of his Asian bubble of close friends and family. Don't bullshit to me. I've lived in all the big Asian American cities and I've seen firsthand that glass house confidence be completely shattered by mere bursts testosterone from men of other races. Y'all need mirrors to look at and contemplate who you actually are before you speak so confidently to me what your ideology actually is

Edit 2: /u/A_Dancing_Coder and I have a back and forth discussion, and out of annoyance, he blocks me after saying "Okay" without further discussion. If this isn't a shining example of the glass house ego of Asian Men and what we need to collectively work on then I don't know what is. What a joke.