I’ve never posted on this subreddit before, so I’m not sure if this is allowed, I skimmed the rules but I’m falling apart right now and need to tell someone.

I relapsed less than 24 hours ago. I had been sober over 6 months, I’m terrified to tell my sister or my parents because I feel like a failure. I don’t even have the words for how horrible using has made me feel. I’m throwing my life away for a stupid drug that doesn’t even make me feel that good. It’s worse now that I had been sober too, I didn’t think before buying. And then I woke up this morning after using last night and decided to keep going.

I’m going to throw what I bought away in the morning, right now I just can’t bring myself to leave my bed where I am currently crying and wanting to not exist.

It might not seem like a long time to some people, but I was so proud of my six months, I feel like I’m right back where I was in April. I don’t want to ever feel that way again, but I brought it on myself and I feel so alone and scared to tell my friends and family or anyone.

Hello! I had relapsed in 2020 after many years in recovery. I had only smoked a little meth when I was younger about 15 years ago. I did not have much experience with it. However after my 2020 relapse I did use a lot of meth. And heard a lot of voices. Even though I have been clean for almost a year I still hear voices. They're the kind that sounds like a faint background noise. It's not the terrifying voices as if they're coming through the floor. LOL. But, it is like a constant background noise of light chattering.

They come up when there is no background noise. Or when I feel anxious. I was even hearing it during an AA meeting. And the annoying part is sometimes it might be a neighbor's TV. Or noise from the street. I do know definitely sometimes it is voices.

Maybe it's other stuff that was in the meth. Maybe it was the meth. It's kind of concerning. Has anyone experienced this before? Is this normal for recovery from meth?

Hi, I’m 23 and just got out of treatment today, I’ve been in treatment for 4 months for mental health and substance use, my substance use wasn’t too out of control and I’m confident I could use thc again because it wasn’t my doc. I came to treatment as a transition to coming to a new state and getting out of a mental rut. I have it in front of me right now but I’m scared to use it because of potential shame of letting down my sober community, my family is open to me drinking/smoking again but I’m just considering the weed. Anyone been in this situation?

almost 4 months clean, in treatment and sober living. i asked my boyfriend for a ride to the dollar store after he got off work because i wanted to spend time with him, i don't have much money for bus fare, and i live in minnesota, it is very cold and i do not own a jacket yet.

it took him over an hour from when he told me he was on his way to get to me, and i called him and he was 4 blocks away. i tried to reach him again 10 minutes later and he had only moved one block. i got frustrated because it just didn't make sense or add up to me and on the phone i said "it took you 10 minutes to go one block" in an angry tone. i should not have done that. i should have kept my cool.

i started walking towards where he had said he was stuck in traffic and when i got in the car he was very mad at me. the whole drive he was speeding which he does when he is mad, which scares me. he also ignored me the whole time. he brought me to a dollar store about 7 miles from my sober house and then dropped me off at the bus stop to take an hour bus ride home. now i won't be home in time to make it to the meeting i was going to tonight, i spent the bus fare money anyways, and i'm stuck waiting in the cold for multiple bus transfers. i am so stupid and should have just taken the bus to the store near my house.

i texted him and told him i had just wanted to spend time with him and i didn't want to be stuck in the cold and he said i shouldn't have disrespected him. i said i'm sorry and that he could have at least brought me to the store by my house so i wouldn't have to spend as much time waiting outside and so much time on the bus. and that i don't feel the punishment fits the crime in this situation but i might be wrong about that idk.

i'm just super hurt and it hurts even more that he doesn't seem to care that i'm stuck in the cold with no jacket now. but i also feel like i'm just pitying myself and i just really fucked up here. but either way i just want to go get high, drunk, anything. i don't want to feel all of this. i'm literally crying on the bus and i feel stupid. like why am i so stupid!!! and here i am trying to have a fucking pity party and fucking ruin everything again. i don't know what i'm even doing i just don't want to use but i also want to use SO BAD.

thanks if you read all of this i guess i'm just blabbing

Hi guys, I have been on and off addiction to painkillers for the last 10 years but mostly the last 4 years I have been the worst. I wasn’t on high doses, just constantly having them to numb myself. I am now 5 days clean and I don’t know who I am. All my emotions are starting to come to surface and I don’t know what to do. I can’t go through withdrawals again it’s just too hard. My main question is how did you find yourself in recovery? I don’t know if it makes sense but if you’ve been there before please give me some advice.

hello there. i have been around 10 months sober from cocaine, about one month sober from alcohol (got a relapse at september) and have stopped smoking cigarrettes alike four weeks or so.

besides of that, i am not doing so well in terms of health; i have some articular injuries (knees and hips), an urinal infection, hpv and GERD. i have already schedule appointments with doctors and medical exams for the next week.

the point of this post is that, even though i have been taking sertraline for like 10 months, have a family who loves me, have a girlfriend, have a job, etc. i feel numb, depressed, somewhat hopeless and always tired. because of my articular pain i have not been exercising, and because of my hpv i feel stupid and dirty (i got them while i was on drugs and cheated on my girlfriend). also, i have been eating a lot of junk food, not sure why but probably because my desire to avoid my feelings and my problems.

also i have been going to AA meetings, and they have helped A LOT (in fact, i relapsed the moment i stopped going).

please i would like to have a piece of advice, since, despite of my achievements, i feel very sad, even suicidal.

i am 25, i live with my parents, i work with my dad and from time to time i feel like a joke. i have no savings but debts, plus all my last paycheck i spent it on medical appointments, medical exams and junk food.

i want to feel well rested, optimistic and happy, plus clean and good with my body. due to the junk food excess i have gained a lot of weight.

thank you...

So if anyone has been through this or knows someone it would really help. I’m 23M and have been masturbating about every other day the past 7 years. I never had any issues with forplay or oral. I lost my virginity last year to a one night stand. I felt that I wasn’t erect all the way during sex like I was during foreplay and needed oral to get it up and quickly penetrate. and even though it felt kinda weird I still tried to enjoy the experience and came. The past year though I got into cocaine it started slow but it gradually just went up to a point where the past month I’ve been using almost daily and masturbating to porn. Crazy thing is in that month I met a very gorgeous girl and we hit it off. We’d start kissing and oral and I was erect but we never went all the way. One day the time came we were doing foreplay and i was erect but as soon as it was time for sex I went limp so she’d give me blowjob and it’d go back up then limp again we tried 2 more times and same shit. I blamed on Being tired and she didn’t mind. Ever since I’ve been kind of worried what is was and found out I have pied and add along my daily use of cocaine and It all clicked. I’m now dedicated to stop it all cold turkey as I need to change my life. But I really want to have sex too and im just worried it might take forever. Any advice nofap and no drugs for a couple days or weeks and id be fine? I’ve been also debating taking a royal honey pack to maybe get me past the hump if that would work let me know. Any advice also helps

everyday has been so hard, but I want to get clean. I’ve been addicted to meth starting this year stemming from an abusive relationship. I had never tried it prior

I was in the worst abusive situation I’ve ever been in, so I started accepting the abuse more and more bc meth was a good mind number. so good in fact, I’d forget about how horrible yesterdays 16 hour fight was. finally he went to jail after putting his hands on me and trying to k1ll me (multiple times he tried before this with my own glock)

What this man did to me, I believe is the reason I keep relapsing subconsciously. I go and hang out with my situationship to get my mind off things and then my family threatens to kick me out, calling me a liar and a druggie who doesn’t care about anybody but myself.

yet, now when I relapse all I can do is think. My family thinks I’m some druggie who wants to keep relapsing and go see my situationship just to get high.. can I understand why they feel that way? yeah. it’s frustrating bc I’m just so codependent, I was diagnosed with PTSD as well after this so it was very hard for me not to relapse or find somebody I feel I can make happy or they can give me joy. It’s not healthy though, we both have a lot of issues inside.

I’ve noticed a lot of things, scars on my face/body not healing, uti, staying up for days and looking like death, anger turns into rage, being in absolute denial about smoking it, chips in my teeth.. I can go on and on.

it’s been 6 months since the dv, and I find myself constantly still relapsing. I’m currently kind of in a situationship but it did help me recover A LOT from my traumatic relationship, but I don’t trust this current guy I’m with and it’s trauma coming out from def my past. My gut was right, he was flirting w other girls on snap and trying to hang w them 2 different times and tonight I found a playboy perfume bottle in his van. I’m Fr getting to the point of being over it, and it’s at the point my family is threatening to kick me out if I go see him and I hate it. I guess I don’t know how I feel.. I don’t know if he actually did anything with somebody else irl but it hurts big time, especially bc of the trauma and PTSD he helped me through. It feels like a stab in the back, and hes definitely a big reason for my relapses bc he smokes it. It’s tearing me apart from myself, from my friends, and my family. They don’t understand why, and it’s like I’m living a double life atm. My sober friends don’t know that I still am struggling with relapse, my nonsober friends don’t really care about getting sober. I figured it’s been only almost a year, I need to quit but I also enjoy the high but hate it too. I can’t explain it.

Anybody else going through the same thing? Is meth recovery possible and how long? I just don’t wanna live life as an isolated tweaker who spends all day doing nothing progressive towards my life. I feel like I’ve lost myself.. for so many reasons. Should I check myself into rehab?

I know this is a common question and everyone has a different opinion on it. The notion of permanent damage implies that no amount of sobriety or recovery techniques can get you back to your full potential.

I always think about it because I started smoking weed when I was 16 and by the time I was 19 I had tried cocaine, LSD, and mdma multiple times. Now I'm 24 and I spent years smoking weed concentrates heavily because that was my drug of choice. I also have trauma from a bad LSD trip that I had in high school that caused temporary psychosis. I'm trying to get sober now and I haven't used any drugs for the past 3 weeks. I haven't used any hard drugs like cocaine, mdma, or lsd in over 2 years.

All I want is to feel the vibrancy and vitality that I felt as a kid. When I was a kid I was funny, I could make friends easily, I enjoyed reading difficult books, and I could learn things quickly. Now I wake up every day and my brain is overwhelmed with anxiety, anger, and depression; no motivation to do anything.

I look at the people who stayed sober their entire life and I feel extremely jealous. I just wish I could know what it feels like to be a fully developed adult with a normal healthy brain. But instead I live with my parents and feel really anxious all day, and most days I don't have the desire to get a job or go back to school.

I know it's early but my anxiety makes me think that even after years of sobriety I will still be damaged. I've looked at the research but I don't know if there's any conclusive way to determine if this type of drug use can be healed over time or if it is permanent.

Most people will say that adolescent drug use does cause permanent damage but is there any way to prove it? Or is it all speculation? Because most of these longitudinal studies on drug users have no way to account for all of the variables. Even if they could account for every factor, how many former drug users will try everything to recover?

Most of them will probably not try every recovery technique because they will be too caught up with their work that they don't have time to meditate, exercise, and eat healthy every day. I guess it could just be wishful thinking, but it's the only thing that gives me any motivation.

It makes me angry when people say that the damage is permanent, because I refuse to accept it. I hate reading the studies and everything that says I permanently damaged my brain because there's no way they could possibly account for every variable in those studies.

Even if they did account for everything, there has to be some way to recover that people just don't do very often because it takes too much effort or too much money, right? Because adult neurogenesis still occurs past the age of 24, so it should be possible to heal the brain back to a normal state?

Someone tell me if you think I'm right or wrong. Because I'm done using drugs for the rest of my life. The only drugs I would take now are medicinal to heal my brain; if they have drugs like that. I'll take every supplement if that's what it takes.

I've seen some posts here say that even after years of sobriety they still feel fucked up just from weed but there has to be a way to recover from it. I refuse to accept that it's permanent. I get so angry when I see the studies and news articles saying that adolescent weed use causes permanent damage. There has to be a way to grow new brain cells and recover, right? There has to be a way to increase neuron proliferation and density in a way that mimics the natural process.

Even if it hasn't been discovered yet, there has to be some technique or supplement or holistic combination that heals the brain back to its natural state. I refuse to accept that the damage is permanent on a spiritual basis, I don't think that God would allow these drugs to exist if there was no way to recover from it. Maybe I'm wrong, because there are a lot of things in life that people can't recover from.

If you think I'm wrong then feel free to educate me and please provide sources too if you can. Or if you agree with me then what are the best methods for recovery that you're aware of? There has to be something out there that can heal my brain.

I’m going cold turkey and i’m just gonna rawdog it, no cbd, no nothing. I need to stop. I’m way too young for this stuff. I’ve already been doing it everyday for like 2 years and it’s my everything now. I’ve lost like 40% of my cognitive function and my brain is still developing. It’s obvious my brains going to by underdeveloped. I first got into this shithole of a drug when my dad started doing it. I thought since he was doing it it’s okay. Well he’s 53 so nothings happening with him, But i turned 14 24 days ago. i fucked up and i know i did. This is gonna affect me forever. I need to stop

EDIT: God this sucks i can’t think for shit i’m already failing my class its been the 3rd hour of school wtf

started taking vivitrol because I can’t stop drinking. So far this past week I’ve been semi successful, only slipping up one day and having 2 tall boys (I still felt a buzz if not drunk?) Anyway the vivitrol is making me feel like shit. No appetite (went two days without food), extremely high anxiety, nausea, migrane(I never get them normally). Is this expected and will the side effects go away? I really want to continue the med because I do feel it’s helping with cravings and am hoping if I relapse again i won’t be able to feel drunk but I am nervous to get the shot next week and have all these side effects and not be able to stop the medication. advice?

Hello, thank you for seeing this post.

I have been clean for a year and a half now, I am still at the final stage of my rehab program, but now comes a time where I have to start orienting myself towards an actual career in life, or something I will be doing long term.

I have initially had the dream since I was little (Although a very delusional and unrealistic dream) to become a doctor (Anesthesiology). I have heard from my peers in the rehab I keep on having very high expectations of what I should do and how it should be done, in all aspects of what I do.
I would appreciate if any of you can share any opinion or advice.

Do these high expectations destabilize your mental health? How do you deal with it?
Has anyone had success building a ambitious career after becoming clean, what challenges have you faced and how do you deal with them?

I have this drive in me where I feel like I need to achieve something in my life. But am afraid that same ambition could be dangerous and get so overwhelming for me that I might end up relapsing in the future. This is one fear I have.

Any advice, opinion or story is very much appreciated! Thanks!

I am heavily using coke. I got in bad fast and I finally looked myself in the mirror tonight and said that’s it I’m done… but now I’m tweaking out

I can not go to a doctor, not yet anyways. Job, family, etc. Solo quitting but freaking out

1.) how do I know if I damaged my nasal ways? 2) can your heart fail if you just quit cold turkey? 3) can I just go back to living life on a normal schedule tomorrow

For the second time. Been trying to get/stay sober for a little over a year. Please tell me I’m not the only one to go twice. 😩

I've been using coke/meth for about a decade. I have greatly slowed down in recent years but I could never shake that feeling off of having to act out and go on a binge (every 4-6 months or so).

I was basically fighting the urge to not use daily. Did so with help of NA meetings and invidual therapy.

The last 2-3 binges caused a lot of problems and I have zero fun (or relief) with stimulants. It just feels like I've outgrown them, like I did with alcohol or weed which I have little to no interest in.

Anyway, I realized these binges were nested in low self esteem and acting out validated my low self worth.

Now that the option of using is out, I am both relieved to not constantly think about stimulants, but at the same time, I am flooded with negative thoughts, mostly exaggerated self-criticism.

Every mistakes I made, big or small is constantly running into my head. Even embarassing irrelevant moments that happened decades ago (like someone giving me a weird look cuz I said something stupid)

Objectively, things are going good. Career, finance, kids, health, social life...everything is much much much better. But I'm constantly comparing myself to my peers and beating myself up for not being super successful and flawless with a six pack and fat wallet and a Ferrari and PhD in physics....you get the point

It s starting to crush my morale. I'm taking things personally whenever anyone says something remotely negative because my self esteem is already so low and I just can't take anymore. I ruminate over the same stupid stuff for days. I feel like everyone has their boot into my face whenever I'm talking to them, like they re trying to dominate me and make me feel small.

I try not to show it but it's really draining and I'm starting have suicidal thoughts (very mild but still).

Anyone has been at that stage in their recovery and how do you make it out?

Hello everyone! I'm currently at inpatient treatment and in 2 weeks I get discharged... I've been talking to my counselor about staying at a sober living but I see so many mixed things about it... I'm scared of relapsing but I'm also a recovering people pleaser, so I'm also afraid of getting taken advantage of (I hate confrontation, I immediately shut down). I also have my service dog and I can't find anything about service animals being allowed or not.

The title basically says it all, looking for some input on what to get for my good friend/roommate who will be getting out of rehab soon? I want him to know he is loved and supported, and I want to gift him some things to ease his transition back into “normal” life when he gets home. I have a couple ideas but wanted to see what yall would suggest! He will likely be immediately returning to work full time right away, so i’m thinking in the realm of self care/maybe self help books or something? He really enjoys reading, making art, music, etc. Thanks in advance for any replies ❤️

To preface this post I should mention I’ve been in recovery for years, specifically doing AA. I had 11 months sober until 40 days ago when I had a slip. I’ve already gone back through the stepwork and gotten to steps 10, 11, and 12 but I’ve frankly lost all desire to continue doing AA.

I’ve been wondering how people who don’t work a recovery program maintain their recovery and sobriety. How do you guys take recovery into your own hands and do things on your own?

Update:

Ok so I haven’t really been thinking about using lately. Graduating from the program was really triggering. I got through this crazy wave of craving. Being honest and talking about it with others in recovery has been helpful. I’m staying sober. Thanks guys!

I’ve been clean from hard drugs for 4 1/2 months. I was in an outpatient program for 7 months. I relapsed/slipped around 5 or 10 times during the program.

My cravings had died down but now that I’m out of the program I keep thinking about how I can get away with it now, or deserve a “reward” for “doing good.” I’m going to keep going to meetings and utilize the skills I learned, but it’s scary how much I’ve been thinking about relapsing. At least I know my brain is lying and it’s easier to not entertain those ideas this time around.

Has anyone else gone through this? Any tips? Is this normal?

He’s 28M and I’m 29F. He’s struggled with alcohol and other drugs since he was 16, I’ve never touched a hard drug, smoked, or even tried alcohol in my life. He sometimes has hinted at some resentment towards me about that; whenever I try to tell him that he’ll be okay and that I have faith that he can overcome his addiction, he shoots me down by saying that I’ll never understand what he’s going through. That was before he went to rehab though, I think he was angry about going and being stripped of his freedoms and taking it out on me.

Anyways, it turns out his insurance only covers 3 weeks of his stay (even after paying 5k out of pocket) and he’s coming home on Monday. He says he’s going to be very busy as he’s immediately checking into an outpatient program, will be going to meetings, and juggling going back to work on top of it all. It seems like his schedule will be full but he said that he’ll be sure make time for me and my daughter (2 years old, he’s been her father figure since she was 1 month old as I broke up with her abusive biological father early in the pregnancy). This seems like a lot to handle and I don’t want to put too much on him, but I just wanted to ask people in his position: what’s the best thing your partner can do for YOU during a time like this? Should I offer to go to meetings with him? Do I just back off and not ask to see him as often?

Thank you in advance for any input 💕

My personally, I had a great time and met great friends. I am curious for the future to do a more holistic approach and wonder if anyone has tried any inpatient that are more holistic.

I've smoked weed for about 5 years. At the end of February I stopped smoking and took my first tolerance break of 200 days due to my CHS. July of this year I relapsed because I made an attempt to socialize with other people who are my actually my age and not 30+ years old. It felt so horribly awkward that I was even told that I'm the reason situations are awkward which hurts so much. When I smoke I feel as if I have that one-in-a-million charisma and can talk to anyone and feel likeable. I notice I try to hard to be something I'm not, when I'm alone, I'm me, I dance in private, sing to myself in private when listening to music, it makes me feel so alive. but when I'm around others It feels like if i be me, I'll get called annoying, or to fuck off ''because I'm trying to get a buzz'' so I just sit in silence and be nothing.

Please give me ideas on what to do.

Hello I’m 18F I’ve been 2 months sober but accidentally relapsed for 3 days at least and now the guilt is eating me alive so I decided today I’ll start quitting again. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, major depression. Right now I’ll soon be taking Wellbutrin and if it doesn’t go well.. I just won’t be medicated in general. First off I know me not being sober made me overthink so much more the past years and now I really think more on the negative side of things a lot of times. I have a bad habit of doomscrolling all day from the moment I wakeup, I’d refuse to study or do anything else which I rly fking need too. I have no idea why I procrastinate so badly I really need discipline. Growing up I’ve come from a more dysfunctional environment and family and now being in a functional environment but dysfunctional family is hard. With my bf or friends I have no idea what to talk about ever cuz I don’t learn or do anything.

A few things I am interested in learning is trying to learn and recognize super cars, gaming better, and I’ve been interested in camping. I have 0 friends tho and am too lazy to even make friends honestly. I have no car no license and yeah I just am not sure how to just keep going or be with my age group. IM SLACKING. I also barely have humor just cuz I don’t know why. I describe myself as super chill but someone who doesn’t know how to keep convos light or make humerous conversations like I did when I was like what…12-13? Other then that in highschool I was basically muted because well I had to move states and everyone knew eachother. Now it’s hard gaining that interest in people when I’ve alienated myself for a while if that makes sense..(I am trying to change my mindset but thing is my mind just feels blank alot or neutral). Another thing is if I don’t stop doomscrolling and want to game for example I’ll feel like I’m missing out on what’s on social media and emotionally it makes me feel anxious more for some reason.

I’ve smoked weed since the age of 12 and it honestly was fine until I started getting uninterested in conversations faster, lacked in school, and overall I didn’t gain any good hobbies as I probably slept and smoked carts/thc product for a while.

Hey over the last year I met a group of people and started going out with them and doing drugs, but now I have decided I no longer want to do it, due to me being very anxious person about my future and brain activity. I have a list in my notes app where I have described every single use of cocaine. So over the course of one year I have used cocaine 24 times with the highest dosage being around 0.3-0.5 in 8 instances and the other 16 instances are of no more than 2-3 bumps sometimes even 1 but I’m not detailing all cases 😅. My question is, is my brain going to go back to normal and go to baseline activity or I’m doomed forever?

Hi, I was just reading about Doctors knowing about our recovery and use. I will try to be short as possible. I started using meth then heroin when I was older. I used meth on and off for 5 years, met a man that was using for 28 years. I had a lot of chronic pain didn't know why at the time, but do now 15 surgeries later. I had a lot of trauma but got clean and had almost 17 years. A shit ton of stuff happened in the last 3 years, Im talking major move, getting scammed for almost everything we owned when we moved and thousands of dollars lost, then got covid, was in hospital and almost died. Then my mama got sick, I went back to hometown to care for her. was there for weeks, I hired a nurse to care for her while gone. I wasn't home a week and she had a fall (she sent the nurse home early) thinking she could save a few dollars, had a fall and died of hypoxia because she couldn't get to her oxygen. I was devastated. When I went back again to her memorial a few months later I met my son's new stepmother, and she used. So did I. I went back home after taking care of my moms estate (siblings too). A month later, I started losing ALL my hair because of covid along with a lot of other things. Eyesight, ADHD I already had, plus I have a connective tissue disorder, Arthritis having several surgeries. I was using here and there, started therapy and I have all new doctors because I moved. I couldn't find a doctor to prescribe to me here because I was honest about my past, Im on pain meds. I found a concierge doctor to treat me and trust me because nobody did knowing my past. I still struggled, but wasn't doing anything heavy and I told my doctor. Ive had nothing but trouble with the medical community. since I had a lot got time under my belt I didn't have any problem back home, a little but not much. Then 8 months ago I left a candle burning in my bathroom in our new house upstairs, long story short, our house burned and killed my kitty I brought out here with us, she was older, and was my sidekick. She was the last of a colony of many cats I cared for for 17 years, she was my last one. We were displaced and our house gutted out. Im still working thru the guilt and pain from losing everything. I also was just diagosed with dysthymia after a year of intense therapy which explained my using in the past. I was scheduled to have surgery next week. My using has lessoned to a few days a week, so when I went in for pre-op I told them because I have a UTI and it was dangerous enough. My doctor cancelled it, wants me to test for like 4 weeks then reschedule. Now that stuff I was honest about is in my record and Im very depressed because Im outed in the medical community here. Somewhere I want to retire and keep to myself. I had the stuff from my son whom has a severe depression, was mixing and started having psychotic episodes and I kept going back to care for him because he was alone, and I was so out of my mind worried about him. That was going on too. That's the short version. I have a chip on my shoulder for having judgmental doctors in the first place, now Im exhausted, been insomnia for 2 years, getting ready to turn in. It even scares me to death reaching out like this, because I'm feeling very alone with it. Thanks

His tiktok username is @kevinnavarrete23, tag him in videos with Demi Lovato's song 29, or comment "we know what you did." "23 and 15." "She was like a little sister, right?"

So, I’m in a female Oxford house. The girl who is the “president” doesn’t go to any meetings, snorts her MAT, and lets literally anyone with money come here, knowing they are high, putting the other house mates at risk… her family is all passed away, which is really sad, but mine isn’t, and my family sends me whatever I need. And every single time I get a package, she goes over the edge. My mom has bought all of the toilet paper, cleaning supplies, etc since we’ve opened the house, but if my mom sends something and she doesn’t benefit from it, it’s a whole thing. It’s actually crazy. Has anyone ever been in an Oxford house and actually had any problems solved by going to the higher ups or no? Because I’m just sick of it. I pay $600 a month to live here and it’s miserable. Just wondering if anyone has ever actually gotten a problem like that solved.. or is it better to just leave well enough alone and get out of here? I’m waiting to hear back from another sober living, hopefully I can get in there this week, and just leave all of this behind. I would love to just leave, not pay them shit, And start over somewhere else. Just wondering if anyone out there has actually gotten a problem solved, or if it’s just better to walk away. It’s crazy that people who literally don’t go to any meetings try to boss other people around and say they aren’t doing enough when they don’t do shit themselves. It’s absolutely insane.

So after a 3 month daily heroin snort habit decided to cold turkey on Tuesday morn (mini dose),

Tuesday I dosed a small small amount of h at around 7ish and had a few sips of Kratom at 9(the kratom didn’t do anything) but worked the rest of the day which was hard but as I got home I felt awful couldn’t do anything it was horrible especially during the night that was one of the worst sleeps. Symptoms included runny nose, muscle aches fatigue, anedonia and so much temperature regulation issues (I was basically bedbound the whole night just on my phone instagram or Netflix which just gave me the worst head pains but there was nothing else t do really )

Wednesday was also quite bad but much less restlessness and irritability as occurred during Tuesday night . Also had essentially thr same symptoms. Decided to try and get a good nights sleep so At 7:50pm had 2mg clonazepam, 1:35am 1mg 5:01am 1mg 5:28am 2mg 7:13am 2mg

Today on Thursday I feel a bit better than the past 2 days still sluggish which could be the clonazepam

Question 1: is if I had been using all of Monday but then only a little bit on Tuesday morning when do I start the hour count

Quesrion 2: is it possible due to the shortish habit/pure miracle that my WD are less intense /shorter as I’ve been hearing stories of people vomiting, intense pain etc.

Also wondering is it normal to require a higher dose of Benzos during WD and a bonus if anyone has any advice for what to do from here especially regarding the clonazepam (don’t want withdrawal)

I am curious how many of you tell your story to health care professionals? I am scared i am going to get in trouble for disclosing that i have used drugs, but i think i have to tell them in order to get better. What dpo you guys do? Do you feel comfortable disclosing your use to doctors and so on?

I’m probably going to get a lot of hate on this one. But I have severe c-PTSD and am in AA, therapy involving EMDR and see a psychiatrist. Doc and therapist knows my history with alcohol and cocaine. Her clinic offers Spravato therapy, and she’s seen great results in clients with PTSD and treatment resistant depression. Every med, I’ve tried em all. Has anyone done this therapy for their mental illness? I’ve done some research but I don’t want it interfering with my recovery. Only thing I know is, is that getting my mental health right is essential for my recovery too. Plz be nice on the internet please lol I’m just asking if anyone has tried this and it caused a relapse or if it actually helped them work through some issues with therapy.