/r/PubTips

Photograph via snooOG

PubTips is the go-to place for traditional publishing news and professional AMAs with authors, agents, editors, publicists, etc. We offer query critiques and answer writing and publishing questions with a focus on the traditional publishing market.

Welcome to PubTips!

MNBrian started this sub to create a place where people could go for publishing and writing advice. Please read the rules below before posting. We've got some pretty specific guidelines here.

For more info - check out the Wiki Page Here



The Rules

Statement of Purpose: PubTips aspires to be a place where writers can go to get good information on writing, publishing, and the industry at large. We want to connect industry professionals with writers seeking traditional publication, and connect writers with good writing communities.

For Full Rules & Examples, Click Here or Hover Below

1. Posts Must Be Publishing Related
  • Posts that do not contain enough information to start a conversation here on r/PubTips about a specific writing or publishing topic will be removed.

2. All Posts Must Be Tagged
  • [PubQ] : A writing/publishing related question.
  • [QCrit] : A post of a query seeking critique. INCLUDE in post title: Book title, Genre, Age group, Word Count. You may also include the first 300 words of your manuscript.
  • [News] : Recent news in the world of publishing/writing
  • [PubTip] : An article/link/post that provides insight into publishing/writing
  • [Discussion] : A discussion post about a particular writing or publishing topic.
  • [Series] : A series with helpful information on writing and publishing.
  • [AMA] : Check with the mod team before posting an AMA. We love having publishing professionals and writers post AMA's here with helpful insights into publishing. Send us a modmail

3. All [News] and [PubTip] posts must contain a top-level comment
  • Because of our commitment to good quality content, we require every [News] and [PubTip] post to contain a comment by the original poster or a description in the body (if a text post) of why the content is relevant and helpful to writers. Examples can be found in the wiki.

4. All PubQ's must be New-ish & all QCrits should show basic query letter understanding
  • Please take a look at the sub to see if your question was recently asked. We love to help writers, but our sub is full of great information. Please use the resources page, the wiki, and the search bar before asking a question to ensure your question hasn't been answered in the last month. For QCrits, please make sure you do some basic research on the structure of a query letter. Do not go over the 300 word limit for first words allowed in QCrit. Removal will be under Rule 4 for this. See the wiki for more examples of a good [PubQ] versus a bad one.

5. Be Respectful and Professional
  • We expect some disagreement on any sub. But we will not tolerate anything that we see as damaging to the community. See the rules for more info.

6. No Solicitation/Self Promotion
  • We rarely, if ever, allow self-promotion, calls for submissions, or advertisements. Reach out to the moderators if you have questions on this. The moderators will remove without warning any post that has not been previously cleared by them and appears to be self-promotion, a call for submissions, or an advertisement.

7. Verified Commenters and Flairs
  • If you're a publishing professional, reach out to the moderators by clicking here to send proof of your credentials and we will award you a flair. We want to give our readers the best possible resources for information. We do this by manually approving all flairs. If you are a traditionally published author, a reader for a literary agent, an editor, publicist, or hold another role, please feel free to reach out!

  • Note: If you request a flair, be sure to check the box that says "show my flair on this subreddit" on the right sidebar at the top of the r/pubtips page so that your flair will show up


8. High Quality Content
  • PubTips is focused on providing a community to writers who are preparing to seek or who are currently seeking representation or publication. The content of posts on PubTips should be of high quality and aimed toward writers who have completed more than just a first draft. Posts must contain enough information to start a conversation about a specific writing or publishing topic.

9. Query Critique (One Per Week)
  • We love query critiques, but in keeping our critiquers and publishing professionals fresh, we ask that you do not post a query critique or revision critique more than once per week (this means wait a full seven days before you post again). Post your query critique with the [QCrit] Tag, and include old revisions. Try to keep it to no more than 3-5 revisions, as at that point you likely will need some advice from people who have not seen the query (and are seeing it fresh).

10. No posts and comments with potentially harmful misinformation
  • Posts and comments should never purposefully give incorrect information. The moderators reserve the right to remove comments and posts that contain potentially harmful misinformation about the publishing industry. While we understand sometimes one might not know better, those who repeatedly ignore warnings and share misinformation may be banned. Comments should also not derail significantly from a discussion. Mods have the right to remove derailing comments without warning.



Habits & Traits

MNBrian started a series back in July of 2016 discussing the Habits & Traits of good writers. In the series, he discusses the craft of writing, his experiences in publishing, including guest posts from other notable writers and publishing professionals. Later on he added Nimoon21, another fantastic writer with some keen insights into the publishing world. You can find the full series in the wiki.


Here are the top ten most popular Habits and Traits Posts:



Here are some of the most popular posts:


/r/PubTips

49,639 Subscribers

1

[PubQ] pitching my book in person for the first time

Hi all,

First time posting here! I’m pitching my fantasy book to two agents at a writing conference this weekend. The agent gets the query letter without me there and gets five minutes to read it, and then I get ten minutes with them. This is my first time doing this, so I’m a little nervous. Is there anyone who has pitched in person before that would be willing to share any tidbits of wisdom or share their experience? Like am I trying to talk more about my book? Am I trying to sell myself as a writer/make a connection with the agent? Both? I get very wrapped up in making sure I “do the right thing” and I certainly don’t want to embarrass myself 🫠!

Thank you in advance!

3 Comments
2024/04/30
17:53 UTC

1

[QCrit] Upper MG Fantasy - Sophie Lu and the Servant of Fire (74K Attempt #2)

First attempt here

My first attempt got unanimous feedback that the story sounded like MG not YA. I've been lurking here for a while, so when everyone agreed I definitely took it to heart. Since then I've gone through another edit round to cut down on word count and check for any content that might not be suitable for MG. Ideally I'd like to get it shortened a little more, but it's currently at 74k.

The query is essentially the same, but I've included the first 300 below. Thanks so much in advance for any feedback!

-----

Fifteen-year-old Sophie Lu Reynolds can’t stand bullies. When her best friend, Ben, becomes the target of the meanest bully in their high school, Sophie fights to protect him. The bruises from the fight are nothing compared to her mother’s disappointment. Sophie spends the evening of the Mid-Autumn Festival enduring her mother’s many criticisms. Her grandma doesn’t help Sophie’s case when she claims that her granddaughter was standing up for justice, which is exactly what a descendent of the Moon Goddess, Chang’E, would do. Sophie’s mother doesn’t care about justice or moon goddesses, she just wants Sophie to get good grades and go to a good college.

Mid-Autumn Festival brings more than just moon cakes after Sophie’s fight. She begins to dream of the same Chang’E her grandmother mentioned, and the goddess has a dire warning for her descendent. Something is coming, something big enough to scare a goddess, and Sophie will need to be ready. The next day, a rematch with the school bully finds Sophie winning easily with new supernatural agility and strength.

Shortly after, Sophie’s family visits the Field Museum to see the new exhibition of the mummy of Chinese emperor Qin Shi Huang. While her family is there, a mysterious man and his henchmen steal the ancient sarcophagus and kidnap Sophie’s parents. Attempting to stop the man, her grandma reveals long-hidden fighting abilities, but ultimately fails a rescue. Never one to back down from a bully, especially one that threatens to kill her parents, Sophie sets off in pursuit of the kidnapper. Together with Ben and her grandma, she will journey to China to stop the man before he can bring the long-dead emperor back to life and conquer the world.

-----

“Sophie Lu Reynolds, if you aren’t down in five minutes, I am going to lock you in your room all weekend,” her mother’s voice shouted from downstairs.

“Coming,” she mumbled in a haze of half-sleep. There was no way her mother heard her response. With a loud groan she rolled over and grabbed her phone to check the time.

“Crap!”

She scrambled out of bed and began rummaging through the clothes strewn on her desk chair. She decided on a pair of old, dark jeans and a t-shirt from a rock band she knew her mom would hate. She rushed to the bathroom and brushed her teeth while splashing water on her face. A minute later, she ran out, throwing a towel in a heap on the counter top. Her mom would yell at her about it later.

The two had long ago come to a compromise that the fragile ecosystem of her messy room was off-limits to her mother’s cleanliness. The bathroom, however, needed to be spotless. Sophie would definitely hear about the towel later.

She tore through her room like a tornado, grabbing her homework and unopened textbooks.

“Sophie!” her mother’s voice carried clear into her room through the closed door. “You better be awake, or so help me, I will ground you into next year!”

A quick series of loud thumps from the stairs announced her tardy descent.

“It’s about time,” her mother said as her daughter breezed into the kitchen like she had all the time in the world.

“Morning, dad,” Sophie said to the man obscured by his morning newspaper. She had tried to convince him that he could read everything on-line, but he stubbornly persisted that it was “not the same as having paper in your hand,” whatever that was supposed to mean.

0 Comments
2024/04/30
17:49 UTC

1

[QCrit] Sci-fi, A VAST & DISTANT HOME, 84k, 1st Attempt

Hello everyone! Thank you all in advance for your feedback. I don't have a lot of experience on Reddit and this is the first time I've shared, but I'm excited to hear your thoughts and feedback on my query and synopsis. I feel that my Comp Title(s) could be better, so if you have insight there, I'm all ears!

———————————————————————

Dear [NAME],

I’m querying you because you’ve said you’re looking for books with a strong female lead and character-driven SciFi. A VAST & DISTANT HOME, is a 84,500-word work of character-driven SciFi: Imagine Lara Croft rescuing her long-lost high-school crush on an abandoned planet. A VAST & DISTANT HOME would appeal to fans of Mike Chen’s grounded, character-driven SciFi. While writing this story I was mentored by NYT bestselling author, [NAME].

Twelve years ago, Annie McKenna made the most difficult decision of her life when NASA called for the shutdown of the only home she’s ever known — a colony on the distant planet of Orion. Her parents were eager to return back to life on Earth. But Annie couldn’t imagine leaving the vibrant diversity of unexplored territory, plants, and creatures. So at the last minute, she abandoned the final shuttle and stayed behind as the botanist and zoologist for the small remaining mining outpost — left only with memories of her family.

But now, when a small transport shuttle crash-lands on the far side of the planet, her unique knowledge of Orion makes Annie the best chance of saving the passengers. With a small crew, Annie must navigate a vast wilderness and unfathomable alien creatures, and rescue the survivors — including one passenger she never expected to see again: her childhood best friend and teenage crush, Charlie, who left the planet along with everyone else twelve years before.

I’m a filmmaker and the founder of [PRIVATE], a video production company. My work has screened at the [PRIVATE] Film Festival and I’ve directed and produced videos for clients such as Random House, [PRIVATE], and others. I’m the screenwriter of the film ‘[PRIVATE]’, which is the true story of [PRIVATE] and is currently in development and being shopped around with streaming platforms.

Thank you for your time and consideration!

———————————————————————

Thank you again!

1 Comment
2024/04/30
17:40 UTC

4

[QCRIT]Adult Literary Fiction, ALL THE THINGS I NEVER SAID, 60K words, 1st Attempt

I like having the blurb part of the query letter in the back of my mind while I'm revising/polishing/tweaking my novel so I can make sure the novel stays on track. Sometimes, I even write the blurb part of the query before I start writing if I'm feeling ambitious so I can have some organization/keep track of my vision of the novel while writing and drafting. Currently, I'm in the middle of revising the book from scratch and hope to finish the revision within the next week or two. Also, ignore the bottom part of the query with the salutation and where my name would be. I know my name has to be on a new separate line after "Best Regards" but for some reason it won't put [My name] on a separate line despite me indenting (I'm typing this on my iPad). Anyway, here it is...

Dear [Literary Agent Name],

I’m seeking representation for my Literary Fiction novel ALL THE THINGS I NEVER SAID, which is complete at 60,000 words. ALL THE THINGS I NEVER SAID is OWNVOICES as I identify as bisexual.

26-year-old Oliver McFadden has a decent paying job as a photography professor at the local college, supportive friends, and loving parents. However, romance escapes Oliver—he’s never been lucky in love. So, when one of his best friends, Jack, makes a pass at him, Oliver doesn't stop Jack's advances. Not even for Jack being in a long-term committed relationship.

An affair ensues between Oliver and Jack. At first, Oliver enjoys himself. But reality soon settles in. Oliver and Jack's relationship can't last forever—they’re on borrowed time. Especially if Jack won't leave Callie for Oliver. Jack can say all the right things, but if he doesn't do anything to change the status quo, then Oliver's hope of building a life with Jack is nothing more than a pipe dream.

Also, Oliver grapples with his grandma's death. The police rule her death a suicide, yet Oliver can't shake how there's more to the story. Intuition is often right despite not having a logical reason, after all.

Appearances can be deceiving in a wealthy town like Grand Falls, though. Oliver's grandmother is gone, but her legacy looms over Oliver. And Oliver falls down a rabbit hole, making him question everything he thinks he knows about his family. Sometimes, knowledge isn't power. The truth is often ugly. And there's a lot of skeletons in the family closet.

[My bio paragraph.]

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Best Regards, [My name]

10 Comments
2024/04/30
15:41 UTC

7

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy/Mystery - JUSTICE OF THE POMEGRANATE THRONE - (108K/Revision 3)

Query:

Dear Agent,

I’m reaching out to query Justice of the Pomegranate Throne, a standalone adult high fantasy novel with elements from the hardboiled detective and noir genres. Set in a secondary world and inspired by my Persian heritage, the novel explores themes relating to mental health, class divide, and purpose.

Nasrin and Banak were once the most famous detectives in the entire sultanate. However, they retired out of shame when Justice, a vicious killer with powerful magic, slaughtered Banak’s family and evaded Nasrin’s attempts to capture him. Now ten years retired, Nasrin hides from her past life, selling candles and embracing anonymity. Banak, meanwhile, struggles with a drug addiction, wishing for death.

Even so, their exploits have not been forgotten. A desperate patrol captain, raised on stories of Nasrin’s feats, appears at her door, begging for help. The captain’s squad was murdered by a ruthless killer who used magic known only to Justice. Then, without explanation, he surrendered himself to authorities. The captain believes Nasrin alone can unravel the mystery of this new killer.

Hoping to uncover a hint that will lead her to Justice, Nasrin agrees to help. Though her initial interrogation confirms that the killer has some connection to Justice, the killer escapes prison before she can learn more.

Knowing she shouldn’t keep the situation a secret from Banak, Nasrin tells him of the recent events. Seeking justice for the murder of his family, Banak joins Nasrin in hunting the killer. To find the killer, and perhaps even Justice himself, Nasrin and Banak will need to rediscover their strength and repair their partnership.

At 108,000 words long, Justice of the Pomegranate Throne depicts PTSD, addiction, and imposter syndrome, all while championing tenderness and compassion. Like Naseem Jamnia’s The Bruising of Qilwa, the novel celebrates Persian culture. Like Robert Jackson Bennet’s The Tainted Cup, it weaves together fantasy, mystery, and stakes that are far larger than they initially appear. My own mental health challenges and struggles to find my place in the world inspired those of the novel’s characters.


300 Words (Plus 21)

They were just knocks. Three knocks, to be precise, their softness suggesting diffidence, their even timing indicating, perhaps, musical tutelage. Or military schooling. But they were just knocks.

Even so, and despite a decade of self-imposed exile, Nasrin’s training took hold. In her mind’s eye, she saw herself flick her wrist to hurl scorching tea at the face of a cowled figure. Then shattering her tea glass against that face. If the glass shattered into jagged points, she’d thrust one of them into the figure’s eyes. If it shattered with a clean break, she’d weave a thread of crimson across the figure’s neck.

There was no figure. There were only knocks, and instinct, and fear.

Did he stand at her door? The knocker surely wasn’t a customer. Not this early. After all, the only shops presently open were those offering flatbread warm from hot pebble hearths.

Very deliberately, Nasrin set down her tea glass, settled more comfortably atop the sofreh, and stole a steadying breath. When her heart refused to calm, she grabbed a candle beside her and held it to her nose. She detected a note of crisp apple before, like water held in cupped hands, the aroma slipped away. Too long spent hiding behind candles and anonymity had dulled her sense of smell. Now she smelled only shame.

No further knocks came for a time, and Nasrin, still seated atop silk sofreh with her back pressed against a colossal camphor candle, contemplated returning to her tea. Instead, she rose, taking care to move quietly, and retrieved her dagger and blowgun from under a rolled rug nestled between the candles of her shop’s back room. Preparation, though likely unwarranted, was the only way to scratch the itch that plagued her.

The next set of knocks pounded as Nasrin confirmed that her blowgun’s modified chamber held a half dozen darts. The stranger kept his, or her, same tempo. Military schooling indeed.


Thank you so much for your feedback! This community has already been so incredibly generous and helpful; I'm super appreciative!

10 Comments
2024/04/30
15:40 UTC

5

[PubQ] Do agents with assistants/readers see all queries?

I am just looking through my rejections from last year, and there are a number where I have sent a personalised query to an agent, yet the rejections do not have the agent name in the sign off, instead only saying something like "best wishes, X Agency".

If an agent employs an assistant or reader, do they sometimes reject the submission before it is seen by the agent themselves? Or is it more a case of the agent rejecting and a response being se

10 Comments
2024/04/30
14:03 UTC

1

[PubQ] Will an agent throw out my query without reading it if the submission guidelines mention three paragraphs and mine is four?

I'm working on a query, and the submission requirements are as follows:

"Your submission should consist of the following:

Paragraph One – Introduction: Include the title and category of your work (i.e. fiction or non-fiction and topic), an estimated word count and a brief, general introduction.

Paragraph Two – Brief overview (this is where you hook us!): This should read similar to what is found on the back-cover of a published book.

Paragraph Three – Creator’s bio: Tell us a little bit about yourself and your background. Sample Material: If your work falls into the following categories: adult fiction, adult memoir, adult non-fiction essay collection, or children’s fiction and non-fiction, please include the first ten pages of text only (or the full text of fiction and non-fiction picture books) within the body of your email. If your work is illustrated, please include a link to your portfolio or sample art. Otherwise, please limit your submission to just the three paragraphs as indicated above."

They keep taking about it being exactly three paragraphs, but my query letter has the hook split into two. I'm not sure I've ever seen one with only one paragraph there before. Do you think they will throw it out if I send the four paragraph query I already have written, or are these just guidelines for the order they want things in?

32 Comments
2024/04/30
13:27 UTC

1

[QCrit] Adult fantasy YOURS WILL BE THE FIRE (third attempt)

Previous attempts:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PubTips/s/nhk2UGW3dy

https://www.reddit.com/r/PubTips/s/Bkc44vXWDT

Third attempt:

If Vale Luján’s homeland Lhora burned, they’re not sure they’d run to its rescue.

Equal parts stale anger and tenderness, Vale is non-binary and of Argentinian descent. They were coerced into servitude by immigration laws, and while Lhora raised them and gave them the people they love, they’d sit and watch if the ruling class went down in flames. After fleeing a cult whose leader deluded them with the possibility of a more equal Lhora, now they’re disillusioned.

Focused on surviving, they land a high-paying job serving Heir Jun. He’s the gentle son of the Ruler, whose merciless training with his electricity amulet left Jun with lightning scars and a heart disease.

Unexpectedly, Vale’s former idol comes back. He has a visionary plan to take over Lhora, and it starts with an attempted coup. He kidnaps Jun, and threatens the Ruler. Deemed useless, Jun is disowned by his mother and Vale is once again penniless.

As the rebel commits acts of terrorism, the Ruler reacts by suffocating uprisings in blood. Vale and Jun, the closest people to the rebel and the Ruler, ally, feeling immense pressure to make a difference in the war. But first, they must decide if it’s worth risking their life for a country that abused them.

Edits: added paragraph breaks

4 Comments
2024/04/30
11:08 UTC

5

[QCRIT] Thriller, THE MACAO JUNKET, 80k words, 1st Attempt

I wanted to first thank you all: I've learned so much from this sub and would be lost without the amazing contributions here. For example, in the query, I'm no longer comparing elements of my book to Ludlum, Dostoyevsky, and Clavell!

This is my first foray into writing fiction. I previously consumed and wrote mostly non-fiction (think: international relations, finance, economics), but I've just fallen in love with the whole fiction writing process. I was having a not-so-awesome time at work last year, and writing this book served as a fantastic distraction. The sense of accomplishment really helped my self-worth.

I originally started writing to create something for my friends and myself to enjoy. Now that I've finished the book, I figured I might as well try to get it published, recognizing that is no small feat at a traditional publisher. If it doesn't work out, that's ok: I'm more of a better to try and fail than regret not taking the chance kind of guy.

Any and all feedback is welcome! Much appreciated :)

--

[Salutation],

A hapless, divorced car salesman from Florida, Shawn Marlowe thinks he has created a foolproof system to win at blackjack. Despite his friends’ warnings, Marlowe travels to Las Vegas to take as much from the casinos as he can before their security teams figure his strategy out.

While playing in Las Vegas, Marlowe meets Matthew Loong, who offers him the opportunity to decuple his money by extending him a line of credit through his family’s junket in Macao–so long as Marlowe splits the winnings 50/50.

Marlowe’s trip to Macao unwittingly kicks off a series of events that alters the trajectories of the lives of multiple individuals: Claire Zhou, a struggling Hollywood actress; Jason Lam, a businessman struggling to balance his career aspirations with filial piety; Veronica Zhao, a recovering addict trying to find a way to create a new life; and Matthew, a gangster battling the nepotistic tendencies of the organization he represents.

As the lives of these individuals collide in the Pearl River Delta, Marlowe finds himself in the middle of an internecine triad war, at which point the question is no longer one of how much he will win: it becomes one of survival.

THE MACAO JUNKET is an 80,000-word novel that offers a new spin on an escapist global thriller, combining elements of a Kathy Wang exploration of the tensions and pressures that members of the Chinese diaspora face, a Dick Francis gambling romp, and a Shamini Flint tour de culture page-turner. This multi-PoV book looks to subvert tropes like the chosen one and the white savior complex while exploring more universal concepts like power, narcissism, and addiction.

--

[Bio]

6 Comments
2024/04/30
04:27 UTC

2

[QCrit] The Final Emergence Saga: Equilibrium - Fantasy- 90K (Second attempt)

Hey everyone! im back with my updated query after taking everyone's advice from my last post. I have some concerns that it may be too long, please let me know what you all think!

***

Dear Agent,

 

Lorian, the illegitimate son of a lady of the night and a humble blacksmith, never coveted power. His only aspiration was to live comfortably with the father who raised him. When he's tasked with delivering a sword to Lord Sam Varios, a formidable Baron known for his icy demeanor and unmatched magical prowess, he accepts, hoping to earn the gold he craves.

A routine visit to a neighboring city takes a dark turn when a bastard child is gruesomely executed. Breaking a cardinal rule among the ruling class—no infighting—Lorian and Lord Varios arrest a noble they suspect to be responsible. But before they can extract a confession, a failed assassination attempt on Lord Varios triggers a mysterious event, bestowing magic upon Lorian at the cost of stripping it from his lord.

Fearful of the repercussions if the truth about the transference of magic between noble and commoner were revealed, Lord Varios and Lorian concoct a dangerous lie. He pretends to be Varios’ illegitimate son, concealing the true source of his newfound abilities.

As they grapple with this deception, a malevolent force commands Lorian in his dreams to eliminate a mysterious entity known only as the Raven. Suspecting a connection between his powers and the Raven, he embarks on a journey with Lord Varios to Mainis Fortu, the capital city of Centrugard, to deliver their prisoner and unearth the origins of his abilities.

In the royal capital, amidst the opulence of magical nobility, he begins to wonder if the power and station he now wields as the fake heir to house Varios can make a difference. As he navigates the political intrigue of nobles who wish to free their prisoner and those that wish him to see justice, threats of war loom above. Lorian faces a pivotal choice: will he choose to preserve the fragile status quo? or will he join those who seek to overthrow the unjust ruling class?

Equilibrium is a Fantasy novel complete at 89,000 words and is standalone with series potential. This story combines elements of mystery from books like Olivie Blake’s The Atlas Six with rich world building from Adrienne Young’s Fable.

I have included (requirements) as per your website. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

[Bio]

EDIT:

I just want to thank everyone who takes the time to comment and help, it’s truly appreciated. Every time I post I feel myself inching closer to a more presentable query letter and I’m very thankful for this community. Writing has been a passion of mine for a long time and while learning the nuances of publication can be difficult (especially for me) you’ve all made it just a bit easier. Thank you all!!

4 Comments
2024/04/30
01:42 UTC

17

[QCrit] Adult Literary Fiction, SPLITTINGS, 90k (1st Attempt)

Hey all! I lurked on this subreddit for a bit when drafting my query letter and I think I've gotten it to a place where it's ready for some feedback.

I think it runs a bit long and I could def use some helpful direction on what sections to cut/trim. Also, as a lit fiction piece, the novel is very character focused and I was having a bit of trouble translating that to something hooky—any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance!!


I am seeking representation for my work, SPLITTINGS, a queer coming-of-age, literary fiction novel set in Kansas during the early 2010s, complete at 90,000 words.

Derek knows his personality is a construct. He grew up online. The internet made him who he is: ruthlessly analytical, self-referential, and gay. He’s an expert in the online world’s dissection of events, culture, and people—and has no problem turning the scalpel to himself.

Derek's analytical habits become acutely destructive when he initiates a secret queer relationship with a college student, Andrew, the summer before Derek leaves for an out-of-state university. This relationship collapses Derek’s virtual and physical lives. Suddenly, he’s not watching GIFs spliced from gay movies—he’s acting out his own scenes.

At the same time, Derek’s mom begins chemotherapy and his identical twin brother starts his own, albeit heterosexual, relationship that Derek can’t stop using as a comparison. He begins isolating himself from his friends, throwing himself into a sexual relationship with Andrew, and secretly keying the word “fag” into the car he and his brother share—kickstarting an investigation amongst their friends to uncover the perpetrator.

The convergence of Derek’s virtual perception and physical life dismantles his sense-of-self. His identity, once curated like a dashboard, becomes disorganized and destructive. Before Andrew, if Derek wanted to feel like an actual gay person, he just looked at his phone. It’s not so simple in person. Derek must navigate his first sexual experiences and reconcile what his body wants with what his mind knows, feels, and analyzes.

SPLITTINGS draws upon the intense personal narration in queer novels such as André Aciman’s Call Me by Your Name and Brandon Taylor’s Real Life to explore the internet as a tool to both erase and generate the self. What does it mean if part of who we are and who we’ve been is most easily located online? Derek, like all of us today, has access to the entire world at his fingertips. He just has to figure out how to live with it.

13 Comments
2024/04/29
22:04 UTC

7

[QCrit] Horror, ROOMS OF THE HOUSE (65k) 4th Attempt

Thanks in advance for any and all feedback!

Dear [Agent]

I am seeking representation for ROOMS OF THE HOUSE, a horror novel complete at approximately 65,000 words. The story weaves together two narratives across time, blending elements of psychological and supernatural horror to create a haunting exploration of grief, obsession, and the lengths we go to hold onto those we've lost. Perfect for fans of John Langan's "The Fisherman" and Paul Tremblay's "A Head Full of Ghosts," It will appeal to readers who enjoy character-driven supernatural thrillers with a historical twist.

When David Tambor's wife Mary dies in a tragic accident, he is consumed by grief and desperation. After moving into what was supposed to be their dream home, the historic Pontellier House, David discovers a strange stash of camera film that appears to capture images of Mary as if she were still alive. Obsessed with the idea of reuniting with his lost love, David performs a dark ritual from the house's past in an attempt to resurrect her.

But the Mary that returns is not quite as she seems, and David soon realizes he may have unleashed something far more sinister. With the help of his friend Olivia, David must confront the house's terrifying history and the malevolent entity wearing his wife's face before it consumes him entirely.

Interwoven with David's present-day horrors are flashbacks to John Pontellier, the home's original owner in the 1920s. After returning from WWI, John became consumed by a similar obsession to reconnect with his lost love, leading him down an eerily parallel path to David's. As their stories intertwine across a century, the novel explores how the ghosts of the past can reach through time to haunt the present.

5 Comments
2024/04/29
21:25 UTC

3

[QCrit] Adult, Fantasy - IMPERMANENCE (120,000 Words, Second Attempt)

I'm not sure what happened to my first post, I must have accidently deleted it somehow, but the gist of the feedback was to focus less on worldbuilding and more on the main character (which I tried to accomplish here). I still included some world building I thought was important to explain the motivation of the character but I can remove more if you all think it is appropriate.

Dear [Agent],

For three decades, Leon has been consumed with a desire to change the world and burdened with the suffering of his inability to do so. Despite humanity’s near-utopian society where wealth, magic, and happiness flows to everyone from a bedazzled capital where the sun never sets, Leon still wants nothing more than the power to dismantle it all.

When a shadow covered half the globe, erasing all within, those left in the light descended into infighting. Factions wielding newly found magical powers clashed with demi-godlike strength, destroying any connection they had with their history and culture. Only when a powerful coalition formed and waged a generational long war that perpetual peace was obtained.

Leon alone remembers the pre-“perfect” and -shadow eras and the subtle oddities with the coalition’s formation. Driven to desperation by this isolating knowledge, he turns to the very thing that created the world of magic and shadows for answers on how to reverse it—The Darkness.

With a curated group of powerful warriors, Leon leaves the light, seeking the core of the shadows and a power source that will finally allow him to fulfill his ambitions. The Darkness—ever cunning and malevolent—makes this near impossible, manipulating the group's minds and spells to fill the landscape with horrors from the their past. Yet, these trials seem to bypass Leon, who seems ignored, leaving him to ponder his role amidst his companions' tribulations. Perhaps, a stranger, clad in chains, holds the key to this enigma and a path toward Leon’s goals.

IMPERMANENCE is a fantasy novel complete at 120,000 words that explores the cost of favoring the greater good. Broken into three parts, each incorporates different styles, tones, and horror genre tropes to wrap the insights of each into the magical system of the world.

[background stuff]

total 352 words

2 Comments
2024/04/29
19:28 UTC

4

[QCrit] JANIE SPECTER - YA urban fantasy/mystery (90K, 1st attempt)

Hey, first time posting a query letter here. I've been reworking this one for a bit but there's only so much I can do with just my eyes on it. Any feedback is welcome. Thank you all!

Dear (Agent)

(Personalization) I hope you’ll enjoy JANIE SPECTER, my noir-tinged YA urban fantasy complete at 90,000 words.

When not in school, sixteen-year-old Janie Specter works part-time as a spectral detective at her mother’s LA agency. She’s the person you call to find out whether your cat is possessed by a malignant ghost or if it simply hates you. (It’s usually the latter.) Though she plays the role of a stoic professional, Janie is hiding that she developed an unpredictable phobia after a spectral attack several years ago. Determined not to be a ghost detective afraid of ghosts, she dreams of saving up money to start her own agency away from the clutches of her controlling mother, where she can take the most interesting cases, not just the highest paying ones.

Her plans come crashing to a half when her beloved cousin is found dead in an apparent accident. But her cousin was a star football player with impeccable balance; Janie doesn’t believe a slippery floor could kill him. So she opens her own investigation. When she discovers a trail of footprints left in spectral residue at the scene, her suspicions are confirmed and old fears reignited. After Janie finds the same residue at a second scene – the house of a dodgy real estate developer – she realizes the clock is ticking before the spectral claims another victim. To uncover the truth about her cousin’s murder and the connection between the cases, Janie must find a way to overcome her phobia once and for all and learn more about the very nature of spectrals themselves.

A murder mystery with a twisty ending, JANIE SPECTER, combines the paranormal intrigue and voicey fun of Lockwood and Co. with the thorny characters and twisty plotting of Six of Crows.

(Bio)

4 Comments
2024/04/29
18:28 UTC

7

[PubQ] Is ok to sell prints from an illustrated book that I intend to submit to publishers?

For my graduation project, I illustrated a book which will be exhibited at our gradshow which is open to the public/industry guests. I intend to pitch it to publishers - would it still be appropriate for me to sell prints of my work at the show? I thought this might be a good way to spread the word and make my exhibition booth more memorable.

2 Comments
2024/04/29
17:57 UTC

13

[PubQ] Declining Agent Offer Before Deadline?

I’m in the incredibly lucky position of having received multiple offers of representation. I already know I am going to decline one of the offers — even if the other offers fell through, this wouldn’t be the right agent for me. I know agents must also get anxious, waiting to hear after they’ve made an offer, and I wouldn’t want to prolong their anxiety (also, once I have made a decision, I just want to do the thing!).

Is it rude or unprofessional of me to decline before the deadline?

4 Comments
2024/04/29
17:56 UTC

7

[QCrit] GONE RUNNING, MG Contemporary, 59k words/2nd attempt

Link to previous attempt: https://www.reddit.com/r/PubTips/comments/1cabp6k/qcrit_gone_running_mg_contemporary_59k1st_attempt/

I know I only posted a week ago, but I wanted to see if I'm headed in a slightly better direction. I'm aware more work still needs to be done (and I have a couple of things in mind that may need fixing). I just hope this attempt is at least less vague and confusing that my previous one. Thanks again for the helpful feedback.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear XXX,

Skylar Johnson can’t wait to be done with eighth grade. Then, she’ll be homeschooled to focus on gymnastics, putting herself closer to achieving her dream of competing in college. Unlike her younger brother, Cooper, who’s been thriving ever since he began his gender transition, Skylar’s had a bumpy few years adjusting to Michigan. She and her teammate, Kate, have gone from best friends to enemies after Skylar couldn’t bear to tell her why she abruptly stopped coming over. 

Things start looking up when Skylar discovers a talent for running and forms a friendship with Jaxon, a boy on the school running team. Her love for running grows along with her dread for long, intense gymnastics practices, where skills are becoming frustratingly harder. She’s happiest with Jaxon… and might even be crushing on him. As it turns out, he likes her, too. But Skylar, still traumatized from when Kate’s older brother injured her, isn’t ready for the next step. When she tries to explain this, everything goes terribly wrong and Jaxon’s feelings are hurt. 

Crumbling under gymnastics pressure and lonely without Jaxon by her side, Skylar’s at rock bottom. An argument with Cooper escalates and she blames his transition for their family’s move to Michigan – and all her problems. After Cooper runs away and goes missing for a few hours, Skylar’s determined to repair broken relationships before she loses her brother and friends for good. But doing so will require courage to be honest about the hurt she carries.

{title, word count, and comps}

{bio}

7 Comments
2024/04/29
17:46 UTC

24

[PubQ] What's the likelihood of getting an offer when you're getting this type of feedback on your fulls?

I know rejection is part of the process, but I'm beginning to wonder if I'm wasting my time/energy holding my breath and hoping that one of these requests turns into an offer of rep? I've had 12 requests, and so far I've had 4 rejections. 3 fulls and 1 partial. This is the kind of feedback I've received:

  1. "MC began to feel a bit disconnected from the story once [blank]. It seemed as though she was being pulled through the story rather than taking an active role in driving it, which made it a little difficult for us to connect with her."

  2. "I felt there was a disconnect between MC's inner motivations and her interactions with other characters".

  3. "Unfortunately, I was not connecting with the writing as much as I would need to make an offer."

  4. "While you've crafted a really strong hook here, I was not as drawn into the tone of the text as I might have hoped."

I have 1 agent who's offered me an R&R, and 2 other agents who've asked to see the updated version, and they're really great agents! At this point, what should my course of action be?

Thanks in advance for any insight!

27 Comments
2024/04/29
16:25 UTC

10

[PubQ] I think I almost sorta got an R&R... what now?

An agent who had my full reached out to me to let me know they were passing, along with their main issue with the MS (a little too much telling, which made the story fall flat for them). They also said that if I fixed this issue they would gladly take another look at the book because they had really liked it otherwise.

This agent is a big a deal. Like, really big deal! And I know this isn't a promise of rep or even a full request, but I'm excited that they: 1. liked the MS enough to give me detailed, personalized feedback and 2. are willing to take another look at it if I fix it.

Also, I feel that their feedback will make the book a gazillion times better and am excited (and also a little scared) to tackle it! My question is: when I have the revised full, do I reach out to whoever still has the full/partial MS and let them know there's a new version? I mean, I'm using one agent's feedback on the story to potentially sell it to someone else, but the agent didn't offer to rep me or even ask for exclusivity or anything, so I'm a little lost as to the ethics of the situation.

1 Comment
2024/04/29
16:16 UTC

3

[QCRIT] DAUGHTER OF MORNING - Adult Romantic Fantasy (109K, 1st Attempt)

Here goes the first attempt! I’d appreciate any feedback, I tried to keep proper nouns to a minimum but am now worried about pronoun confusion. I also am not sure about my comps - Radiance is older and self-published so I’m not sure if it stands up when paired with a newer trad pub book, but I wanted to highlight those particular aspects of the MS.

Thank you!! This subreddit is amazing and has been invaluable for me.

———————————————————————

Dear Agent,

[Personalization]

I am writing to seek representation for my adult romantic fantasy novel DAUGHTER OF MORNING, a 109,000-word standalone with series potential.

Kanah Solenia’s life has never been her own. Raised under the thumb of the tyrannical Queen Linara, Kanah has only two goals: keeping her magic hidden and staying out of her mother’s way. But when Kanah’s brother is killed in a violent coup and her mother places a bounty on her head, she is forced to run - all the while trying to hide the magic that her mother decreed punishable by death.

Sorin Rianan has made his reputation on blood. A former gladiator turned palace guard, Sorin’s duty is to protect the prince. The only problem: Sorin loathes the prince, and has never stopped desiring freedom from the kingdom that enslaved him. When he makes a split-second decision on the night of the coup to abandon his post, letting the prince die in the process, he knows that he will have to flee or his own life will be forfeit.

Together, Kanah and Sorin make for the border, hoping to find shelter with a neighboring kingdom. They don’t trust each other - Kanah saw Sorin let her brother die, and Sorin knows Kanah is hiding something - but as the queen continues to pursue them and war looms ever closer, they find that their only hope of survival rests in each other. When they uncover the truth about the attack and new, fragile feelings begin to bloom between them, they realize that together they might be able to find something they’ve never truly had: freedom.

DAUGHTER OF MORNING will appeal to readers who enjoyed the themes of self-discovery present in Saara El-Arifi’s Faebound, as well as the slow-burn romance rooted in friendship and mutual respect present in Grace Draven’s Radiance.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Regards,


8 Comments
2024/04/29
16:06 UTC

8

[PubQ] Pitch Pages on Author Websites

I did some searching but couldn't find much information. I've seen some querying authors have a page on their websites dedicated to their projects they want representation for.

Most of these projects are completed novels, but some also list WIPs.

Is there a consensus from the agent side on whether this is helpful or harmful while querying? Or has anybody heard anything from agents on how they feel about these types of pages?

6 Comments
2024/04/29
14:46 UTC

10

[QCrit] THE SONG OF THE VIOLET STONE – Adult Fantasy (125k, 9th Attempt)

Hi everyone! I wasn't going to post on here again, but I've spent the past few months doing some major rewrites to the first part of my MS, and have rewritten large chunks of my query as a result. Even though this is my ninth(!) version, it is sufficiently new that I wanted to seek some final feedback on it before I start sending out batches.

I'd hugely appreciate any comments you might have – the critiques from this sub over the past year have been absolutely invaluable for both my query and my MS.

Thanks in advance!

***

Query:

Dear agent,

The miners’ strike is failing. Thrown into disarray by the execution of their charismatic leader, the union looks to his brother, Stenek, to turn things around. But his inexperience proves disastrous. His plan to blackmail an influential minister is thwarted by the ruling Syndicates. Starving comrades cross the picket lines, uninspired by his leadership. A growing militant faction threatens to break away and pursue open revolution. Defeat seems inevitable.

But then comes Caswor, the wounded foreigner he saves from the snow.

He is a distraction at first. An archaeologist studying a forbidden religion, he obsesses over its predictions of ecological collapse, doggedly investigating freak weather reports despite Stenek’s pleas to keep a low profile. But when Stenek is left a strange stone in his brother’s will — a stone which miraculously, maddeningly whispers his name — it is only Caswor’s research which offers answers. Revealing a near-identical stone of his own, a bewildered Caswor explains his theory: left by the religion’s ancient founders, the objects carry a hidden power, somehow linked to the unnatural weather.

The discovery overwhelms Stenek. His brother promised to leave him a way to win the strike, but the stone is beyond his comprehension. Even Caswor cannot explain its purpose, or how it could assist the union. He can think of only one way to find out. He tells Stenek of the religion’s reclusive high priest, traced to an ancient observatory across the sea. Ever-impulsive, he insists they voyage there at once.

And fine –– Stenek cares little about Caswor’s superstitions. He knows the seas are beset by storms and bloodthirsty mermaids; that a war over dwindling resources consumes the continent. But if his brother thought the stone’s power could defeat the Syndicates, there is little choice. For his people’s sake, he must face the dangerous world, discover the truth behind the stones, and hope salvation lies with the handsome, intoxicating stranger he saved from the cold.

THE SONG OF THE VIOLET STONE is an adult epic fantasy of 125,000 words. Centring on a queer (M/M) love story, the novel is heavily influenced by the language and folklore of my native Cornwall, and combines the environmental themes of Kritika Rao’s THE SURVIVING SKY with the Gothic atmosphere of Alex Pheby’s MORDEW. I currently work as [X] in London.

8 Comments
2024/04/29
14:24 UTC

2

[PubQ] Paraphrasing lyrics and rights clearance?

I have a spot in my current work where I partly paraphrase song lyrics. They are identified as song lyrics in the text, and the character is describing them, paraphrasing like so:

An old favorite comes to life in mid-song. Henry Rollins tells me it’s time to align my body with my mind, it’s hero time. I don’t feel much like a hero.

Is this something that needs rights clearance or does it qualify as fair use? There's two more lines used in a similar fashion.

9 Comments
2024/04/29
14:17 UTC

4

[PubQ]Approaching an agent With Offer of Pub from a large indie publisher?

Hi All!

A few months ago, a large UK indie publisher approached me about publishing a book from me.Side note* I've had some respectable success publishing romantic suspense independently. After a pleasant initial conversation, I sent them three concepts along with the first few chapters of each.

The publisher doesn't know I've actually finished these books, though I think each is in varying states of draft, except for one that I'm very happy with. I had planned on self-publishing these but am aware of the significant influence a big publisher has in the market, and I would like to see my books in stores one day if the stars align.

A writer's group I'm part of suggested I get an agent just in case they were interested, so I sent out a few queries and currently have several full manuscripts under consideration, even though I think my query is far from perfect. Today, I heard back from the publisher that they're interested in all three, the one they're most interested in is my least favorite and not the one that is out with agents.I do like the editor based on our initial correspondence, but one thing I've learned about this business is to treat it as such and I have no idea how to navigate things with publishers.

I plan on telling them I need time to secure representation to review the contract or at least hire a literary attorney. Should I approach the agents who have my manuscripts with the offer but let them know I'm not attached to it if they think it isn't the best one for me? Or should I wait to see if any agent is interested and then inform them about the deal?

5 Comments
2024/04/29
13:38 UTC

9

[QCrit] Adult Mystery THE DEAD WRITERS GUILD (72K, 2nd Attempt)

Thanks for the feedback from the first attempt. I've been revising this for the last 3 weeks and am once again at the point where the words make no sense and I desperately need an outside look. thanks in advance!

Dear Agent,

When struggling author J.M. Lee attends a writing retreat in the hopes of finishing her crime novel under the tutelage of her idol, Thomas K. R. Masterson, she never expected to be thrown into a real life mystery. But as the retreat progresses on a remote island in Northern Michigan, Masterson is nowhere to be found, the writing exercises grow increasingly perilous, and her fellow writers start to get swept off the board.

On the opening day of the conference, one participant suffers a suspicious illness and is ferried off the island. But J.M. and her colleagues soldier on. She’s desperate to get her big break and impress Masterson and the illness inspires a new scene for her next revision. And besides, accidents happen. The second night, a writing exercise ends when one of J.M’s fellow writers is found roasting in a fire, popping and crackling like a trussed pig. With two colleagues gone, Masterson still missing, and a group text message sent by the apparent killer, J.M. realizes the retreat has turned into a real life closed circle mystery.

J.M. huddles with her remaining colleagues and Masterson’s assistants to try to figure out how to escape the island. To survive and make her publishing dreams come true, J.M. will need to marshal all of her creativity, sense of irony, and knowledge of murder mysteries to outwit the killer and figure out why he or she is targeting would-be authors. J.M.’s new retreat goal is to survive a plot worthy of Thomas K. R. Masterson. And write about it of course.

THE DEAD WRITER’S GUILD (72,000 words) is an adult mystery novel which will appeal to readers who enjoyed the claustrophobic island setting and closed circle plotting of The Guest List by Lucy Foley and the wry humor of The Thursday Murder Club series by Richard Osman.

2 Comments
2024/04/29
13:24 UTC

6

[QCrit] LINEAGE, Science Fantasy, 96k (3rd attempt)

Feedback on my first two attempts was comprehensive and appreciated. I'm struggling for clear comps at the moment as what I've read in the last while doesn't fit, so any suggestions to check in on would be grand.

Dear AGENT

LINEAGE is a 96,000 word science fantasy novel comparable to ___ for its ____ and ___ for ___. It is a standalone novel with series potential.

Noah Kiers has to get out of here. Last night his girlfriend confessed she’s been cheating on him for months; his head is spinning. So, when some stranger writes to him saying he’s to be brought to Gesmet, an unknown city-state he must somehow save despite knowing nothing of it… he thinks it’s some silly prank. The letter goes in the bin. Except, he’s spent the first twenty-five years of his life believing he was an only child, and this stranger claims to be his sister. It's at least worth asking his parents.

It wasn’t the first letter. This stranger they’ve never met, Simone, has been sending his parents money in the form of gold, jewels and artwork, but even they hardly know why. They’ve never even met her. Neither of Noah’s parents claim parentage of Simone, and she doesn’t claim to be their daughter, yet the letters are adamant she’s Noah’s sister. Police, even private detectives have never been able to find this woman. Determined to escape his messy heartache, to meet Simone and get the answers his parents couldn’t, Noah lets himself be taken.

Gesmet needs no saviour. They already have a beloved, all-powerful dictator. A man with no title but with seemingly limitless and impossible abilities, Oscar has made a utopia, and it is not on the world Noah knows. The glittery ever-red sky covers a city without homelessness, thirst, hunger or pollution. It seems like a paradise, but Simone keeps dodging his questions and instead makes him rub elbows with Gesmet’s influential figures. He soon realises the only thing that needs saving is her political standing and the polls of the candidate whom she is pushing for President.

Politicking overshadows his heartbreak so he sees her flashy promise of his own fantastical powers as hollow. It would only make him more useful; prominent to the public and an easy way to pull more votes. A glorified PR stunt in her campaign against the powered, factional family who puppeteer Gesmet's presidential candidates. He grows resentful at being used and plans to earn Oscar’s favour to get back home. Oscar will never send him back, but with Noah’s fantastical and political power rising from nowhere he must see if the young man is better tamed or dead. After all, no-one leaves Gesmet.

First 300:

Monday

Bird

Noah lifted the diamond to his eye and watched the blueish sunrise through his window with dead eyes. The light seemed beautiful until it blinded him, and he dropped the fist-sized jewel on his foot. Grunting in pain, he hopped around it while the Beige thing he unconsciously unsaw stepped out of his way. He shook his leg and slammed the diamond onto his dresser as the Beige silhouette pressed against his wardrobe.

“Hey, you okay?” Dani shouted.

“Yeah, fine, just stubbed my toe.”

He got dressed in his haggard black jeans and wool turtleneck and pushed on two gold band rings. He was permitted only to notice his own reflection in the window where he saw yesterday’s unwashed hair gel had become todays mohawk. He couldn’t be bothered changing it; he knew he looked like a walking hangover and figured itd be nice to start the day off with a laugh, even if it was at himself. Then he did a double take at his blue-speckled window.

The Beige waited unflinching as Noah climbed back over his bed. He couldn’t wipe the blue specks off. Opening it halfway, he reached outside and up and smeared the dust everywhere. Inspecting his dyed hand it smelled like nothing and washed off faster than paint. Seeing only himself in the bathroom mirror, he smiled at his hair and went downstairs.

“When did you go goth?” Dani asked as he came into the living room. Smiling lifted the deep bags under his eyes.“At least it’s not raining, so you don’t have to worry about that ruining your look.”

“I was thinking of keeping it, just for you.”

Dani took out her phone and pointed the camera at him, “Let’s see what Rita has to–”

“No,” he was across the room, hand on her phone, “thanks.”

5 Comments
2024/04/29
10:28 UTC

26

[PubQ] Letting an agent down gently?

Hi everyone,

Thanks to this sub and your kind and encouraging advice, I am in the incredibly fortunate position of having multiple offers of representation. I have a few days left before my Friday deadline, but I already know that I will be rejecting the initial offering agent.

In an industry that is characterised by rejection for authors, agents and editors alike, I know that this is par for the course, but it suddenly feels extremely difficult to let down the agent who catalysed something of a rush on my manuscript.

Does anyone have any advice on the kindest way to do this? A polite but brief email seems discourteous after the level of passion and commitment she displayed on our call (a bit like a form reject on a full manuscript!) - should I be explaining my reasons, or is that not the done thing?

If anyone has any pointers I am all ears.

Thank you in advance!

19 Comments
2024/04/29
10:16 UTC

10

[QCRIT] THE PRICE OF A SECRET, YA Contemporary Fantasy, 95k

Hey all! I’m a longtime lurker on this sub, and I’m in need of some good ol’ PubTips brutality. For context, I was previously agented and am now looking for new rep. (Don't worry—my ex-agent doesn't have any claim to a commission on this book.) To complicate everything, I’ve already sold rights in my home country to a large (but not Big 5) publisher.

Since this is a bit of an unusual situation, I’d particularly love to hear any advice on how to navigate mentioning my previous agent, the foreign sale, and interest from U.S. editors (see below) in the query. Do you think having the foreign sale will be a hook for agents or scare them off? (i.e. something I should downplay or emphasize in the query?) Also, is the blurb from another author worth keeping here or should I cut it?

Title and character names are altered for anonymity :) All right, please tear it apart!

 

Dear Agent,

I am seeking new representation for my YA contemporary fantasy thriller, THE PRICE OF A SECRET, which has been requested by editors at [Big 5 imprint] and [Big 5 imprint]. Complete at 95,000 words, this novel combines the escapist Cinderella story of The Inheritance Games with the magical high society and enemies-to-lovers romance of House of Marionne. [Foreign territory] rights recently sold to [publisher] in a two-book pre-empt, and it is slated as a lead title for [pub season].

Eighteen-year-old Allison is the opposite of lucky. She’s still wrangling her dead dad’s debts when a mysterious illness lands her brother in hospital. But her fortunes take an unexpected turn when she wins a lottery to attend a once-in-a-lifetime magical gala held by the billionaire Remington brothers. If Allison can win over the Remingtons, she’ll get a coveted spot on their magical training program and the money she needs to save her brother.

There’s just one problem: Allison never bought a lottery ticket.

Determined to discover who wants her at the gala—and why—Allison plunges headfirst into magical high society. She can’t help but be drawn to both Nick Remington and his rival, but every lavish party they attend conceals sinister secrets. When Allison's search for answers uncovers a conspiracy that could explain her brother’s illness, she must decide whether to stay silent or keep digging—and risk the wrath of a family powerful enough to get away with murder.  

Blurbed by NYT bestseller [name] as “a lavish, seductive fantasy that will you keep you guessing at every turn”, this novel melds poly romance, thriller elements, and a “sharp, inventive” magic system. Like me, Allison and her love interests are bisexual. 

[Quick bio]. If you have any questions about the [foreign territory] deal or U.S. interest, I’m happy to provide more detail.

Thank you for your consideration!

Kind regards,

Me

6 Comments
2024/04/29
04:51 UTC

76

[Discussion] Literary Agent scam

Hi Pubtips! I hope it's okay to drop in on your community to share some info re a publishing scam doing the rounds.

I'm a literary agent and recently I've been contacted by several authors who have received an email from somebody posing as me, and purporting to be offering a significant book deal in association with a major publisher. This is a scam.

I'm sharing the initial reach out email in full below, in the hopes that anybody who copy pastes it into google may be directed here.

As many in this sub would know, literary agents do contact authors unsolicited from time-to-time in order to have a conversation about possible representation, but we don't pre-negotiate book deals or offers. We can not sell your book unless we represent you, in which case we will have had extensive contact (months! years!) before getting to the point of submission to publishers and eventually an offer.

These scams are very sophisticated. One of the authors who contacted me had had a phone call with the scammer, another received a letter of offer "signed" by Jon Karp (the CEO of Simon & Schuster). Another sent me some of the email exchange they had with the scammer, the early parts of which read very professionally, and quoted from info available about me online -- I have to admit, it sounded like me. One author suggested verifying my identity by DMing me on LinkedIn (smart!), and was strongly discouraged from doing so by the scammer.

The whole thing--while easily spottable by a pro in the industry (and likely by the regulars on this sub)--was close enough to how things might actually work that it was convincing.

This literary agent scam has been around for some time, and I'm far from the first agent to have been impersonated. I'm sharing here, as well as elsewhere, in order to make the info available. Writer Beware is a good resource for writers, and they regularly cover scams: https://writerbeware.blog/

Needless to say, as someone who is deeply committed to author advocacy, it's incredibly distressing to know that someone is using my identity to try to scam authors.


THE EMAIL:

I hope this email finds you well.

My name is XXXX, and I am a literary agent with XXXXX, representing authors (some personal info). I am also an independent Senior literary agent affiliated with Simon & Schuster board of acquisitions.

I am reaching out to you today with exciting news regarding your manuscript. Recently, your book underwent a content evaluation by independent book scouts from Amazon who collaborate with Simon & Schuster to identify books with significant potential for contracts from traditional publishing houses. Your manuscript caught their attention as one of the titles scouted, and the content evaluator was thoroughly impressed by its creativity, imagination, and heartfelt nature that is why it has successfully passed the content qualification and initial standard evaluations.

As a result of this evaluation, I am thrilled to extend to you an exclusive offer from Simon and Schuster through their guaranteed acquisition program. This program offers $180,000-$250,000.00 to acquire just the publishing rights of your manuscript, enabling them to distribute physical copies of the book and market it to their affiliated 3000 book stores globally.

However, please note that since this is a guaranteed acquisition program, Simon & Schuster requires a 100% commitment from you as the author. They have set prerequisites to ensure the successful execution of the acquisition process:

A fully revised manuscript that has undergone developmental editing.
A succinct yet compelling author's biography.
A concise book synopsis.
Five reviews from accredited professional book critics, preferably Simon and Schuster accredited reviewers.
A recent photograph for your author portfolio.

To proceed with this guaranteed acquisition and its associated procedures, I kindly request your decision on accepting this offer. Should you be inclined to proceed, we can delve into further details, and I will promptly initiate the request for the Letter of interest from the executive team.

For effective communication, please provide your preferred phone number and a convenient time for me to reach out to you. Alternatively, you may confirm your acceptance of this offer by replying to this email, including your formal title.

I am honored to represent you in this endeavor and look forward to the opportunity to work together to bring your manuscript to fruition.

All the best,
XXXXX

16 Comments
2024/04/29
03:52 UTC

2

[QCrit] <PROJECT RED>, Adult Horror, 72k (First attempt)

Hi everyone!

I've been working on a project since 2016 and didn't have a solid plan or outline until I prepped for Nanowrimo 2023. Two weeks ago, I finished my fourth draft of an untitled project I'm calling 'Project Red'. I didn't expect to get this far but my hope is to get traditionally published! Heard great things about the community here so thought I'd try it out.

Here's my first attempt at the query letter. Roast me please! (Feel free to let me know if the plot needs work too or if it even has commercial appeal. I'm afraid I've been working too long on my project. lol)

=============================

Dear [Agent full name],

[Personalization for why I'm querying said agent]. I would like to offer <PROJECT RED>, an adult horror novel complete at 72,000–words for your consideration.

35-year-old Constantine “Stan” Sturman mourns his dad and sister even after a nineteen-year custodial interrogation; he knows he’s not human. Afraid he’s disappointed his mom, he heads to his birthplace, an abandoned incubation lab, which doesn’t have answers. He finds his mom’s dismembered body at home and the sickening remains push him to overdose.

After emergency services save him, the Sovereign banishes him with lifetime surveillance. He spends his last day as a free man on a sea bench when his uncle, Logan, comes to ask for his help and explains that Stan’s dad sent him. They need to save Logan’s son who is trapped at the bottom of a hellish virtuality called Karantän.

Disturbed by the thought of being alone for an eternity, he decides to help his uncle but the task isn’t easy especially when his mom’s killer is suspected to be in Karantän. Stan, hoping to find his humanity, must endure tortuous revelations and confront a homicidal presence that stalks him. With the Sovereign close behind them, he struggles with his perception, and when Karantän is anything but friendly, he must choose whether he will conquer his fears, or forfeit his only chance at freedom.

<PROJECT RED> combines the symbolic purpose of Dante Alighieri’s THE DIVINE COMEDY, VOLUME 1: INFERNO with the descriptive narrative style of Nathan Ballingrud’s WOUNDS: SIX STORIES FROM THE BORDER OF HELL and the psychological realism of Kristopher Triana’s GONE TO SEE THE RIVER MAN.

[Bio]. I watch and read speculative fiction, specifically dystopian, horror, and psychological thrillers that inspire my writing.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Best regards,

[Name]

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Qs:

  1. I had trouble with reorganizing my query letter to fit with a personalization. What is everyone's thoughts on including personalization?
  2. Some agents want a logline in their query letters and some want it in the QueryManager form. Is there a general rule of thumb for where to put the logline?
  3. The agent I want to query asks for comp titles in their QueryManager form. Should I still include the comp titles in my query letter? (Their form also has a box for the query letter too.)
  4. I realize that the comp titles were all published in 2020 (excluding Dante's Inferno, haha). Does that mean I shouldn't query with these comp titles starting next year, or are agents typically understanding of this?

Thank you all in advance for all your help!! (I'm done with the manuscript but if anyone wants to read the first 300 words, let me know!)

6 Comments
2024/04/29
03:49 UTC

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