https://youtu.be/CJ2zMja5KR8?si=TF6GSuCdeQBPGvAz

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Baridi iskudanganye you approach a man. These creatures can be vile. And when they don't like you, they make sure you know it. You will question your whole existence. Same thing happens when they fall out of love with you, everything you do, no matter how good, feels disgusting to them.

Anyone who knows someone selling or buying instagram and twitter accounts?

nani ako na pesa mingi enye hatumi anitumie😭😂😂😂 help a sister out jameni

Let’s be honest with each other.

For all the single wababaz out there, any girl is fair game as long as akona ID na sio relative.

If a babe is getting money to improve her lifestyle, shida iko wapi?

Truth is, wivu ndio tunayo—wanaume kwa sababu hatuna pesa, na chics kwa sababu hawajakatiwa na mbabaz. At the end of the day, we’re just asking mbona relationships zetu si kama hizo.

You can stone me now.

Edit: my point

Tuwache wivu wababaz wakienda out na small girls. They are fair game.

I 21F am thinking of ways to make money, i am based along thika road, i wanted to know if there is anyone from around looking to hire someone to clean their house, do laundry and even meal prep for those who don't like cooking or find it stressful planning what to cook and other household affairs. I also do hair for the ladies looking to get their hair done at affordable prices please reach out .

I swore I'll never subscribe to black tax. Parents should not depend on their kids ata kiumane aje to the point if death. Kids are not a financial investment or a retirement plan. I'd rather die than blackmail my kids to provide for me.

Mwenye akona WhatsApp group links aniwekee hapa kwa comment section bana🥲😂😂kwani hamtaki niattend hizi vitu??? Mnakuanga aje guys

That day, the lights died at 11:00 p.m. If my memory serves me right, it was an issue with our powerline or someone at Kenya Power just having a field day.

Anyway, Billy and I were sleeping at this house. We all went to the same school, Lela Secondary in Ahero. At Ahero, there’s a mouthful proverb that hangs loose in everyone’s mouth, and it says, “Ahero Onge Yueyo.” Whoa, wait till I learned that the proverb was all but a hyperbole.

In our village, there’s a tradition that has been passed down generations. Whenever someone has built their “Simba/Lion" and leaves for the city, someone, mostly a youth, must be assigned to take care of the house. Simply put, become a caretaker. Your work is to ensure the place is tidy, and it comes with a handful of privileges.

First, you can always attend the discos without anyone's interference. If you were raised by the Lakeside, you probably know how “Disco or Ong’ora” was such a great deal. For the Ong’ora, I’ll save that part for you. It could probably make a whole story. All I know is that one day, my friends outran me, and I was captured in a humiliating manner. Bwana, the chief and village elder, had me serve as an example.

To Chief Ochuodho, you will not see heaven.

Now, back to the story. The second, perhaps the best, is that you can always brood a lady in that very house. In fact, it was a common practice in my days.

By brooding, I mean you could always fetch a lady over the weekend and make her stay in that house for a week. For this to work, it had to be over the holidays. As such, the parents of the girl would assume their child may have paid a distant relative for a visit. That way, it would be a perfect hue and decoy. So, no heat will be drawn in your direction.

However, it always came at an expense. For the showers, you had to ensure that you shower together by the river under the cover of the night. On such an occasion, full moons were your enemy, but you could still have the lady dress like a man and not talk along the way.

What about the meals? You had to fake about studying and carry your food to that “Simba.” That way, you’d share. Or, if your sister were easy to make deals with, she’d spare you extra food while serving in the kitchen- “Jikon/duol.”

Okay, enough with the details.

That evening, after the lights went out, I heard some footsteps outside and snubbed it. But after a few minutes, the movements grew loud. I reached out for my torch and asked, “Billy, mano in, oko, kose?” He responded, “Mano an jama. Kik iywa ng’ich.”

My confidence was soon restored, and if I were to hit the sack almost immediately, then I would not worry about Ochocho coming over to rob us. Ochocho was a known hardcore thief in our village. And every village has such a person. He had a knack for stealing anything and everything- chickens, loose items left out in the night, and, on one occasion, he stole a cow. 

After Billy got inside, I heard a second voice. I slept in the second bedroom, which was within earshot. At this time, my mind was racing as to who that could be. I knew Billy had 3 girls, but he was a jerk ass. He would win over ladies with money or gifts. While on the contrary, I was “Musa Olwete.” In simpler terms, I couldn’t afford a pot to piss on. I was broke.

You see, Billy’s parents sold land almost anytime they felt broke. When they did, the price had to be divided between the father, mother, Billy, his older brother, and sister. It explained why Billy had a Samsung phone while in high school, yet all we had was a button (Kaduda) phone that was on rotation among my friends.

With each passing second, the sounds faded. But at around 1:00 a.m., it started yet again. This time, it was the sounds of a serious moan. The lady kept saying, “Don-key me (don’t kill me). Yes, I like it.” Oh, man, the audacity. I couldn't help myself, as I soon got a boner.

All my soft mind could think of was, how bad or good was Billy drilling holes? The final nail to my imagination’s coffin that night was the “ptha ptha ptha” sounds I kept hearing. Soon, I ruled out that it must have been a thick babe that Billy was ferociously harvesting.

Remember, I said Billy had 3 girls, and none was thick. They were all petit. But how come Billy was having a thick one for dinner? A full-course meal.

Yes, you guessed it right. I had to go and confirm. I knew the lights were out, but Billy would always light a D-light solar lamp, so I went for the keyhole. 

I bent over the door like some whore leaning over cars along Koinange Street. However, this time, the context was different. I had to confirm what my mind was imagining, and there was no better way other than to get some optical nutrition. I had to feed my eyes.

Though dimly lit, I was still able to see the curves the lady possessed. Her chest was full of erect breasts, and between her legs, she had a clean shave. Her bum? Don’t get me started. She had a wobbly ass. At the slightest movements, the ass would move uncontrollably. But then I got curious: who’s this girl? Something about her made me feel restless. So, I shifted my view and went for the face.

I was shuttered. It was like time froze. I can’t tell how long I stood there, but all I remember is that it felt like someone had sunk a dagger through my heart.

She was Awuor.

Awuor was a new lady in the village. She was around for a holiday, and being that she was from Mombasa, she became really something else. Every guy in the village made advances on her. And as you’d predict, I approached Awuor. She felt my vibe, and I was certain that soon, I was to get a taste.

But here, she lay right in front of my eyes behind the doors and at the mercy of another man who was handling her like it was a grab. It even felt bad when I saw Billy put her in a doggie position. Man, that girl arched!

I felt defeated and headed straight to the bedroom. That night, my mind couldn’t stop, but after casting a few aspersions, I dozed off.

At around 3:00 a.m., there was a loud band on my door. It got me confused. Who was that? Could it be that Ochocho paid a visit? No, it wasn’t him. Instead, it was Billy.

He was distraught. I inquired, “Ang’o marach?” to which he said, “Nyako cha osim bocha.” Osim? Yes, she fainted—another hammer blow. How wild were these two that one ended up being choked? I couldn't stop thinking.

I wore my trousers and shirt and headed for Billy’s bedroom. There, the lady lay still. A delicate being. A corner flower that was completely ravaged. But Billy was smart. Before coming to wake me up, he ensured the lady was all clothed. 

With a bleeding heart, I summoned my first aid skills, and we tried to resuscitate Awuor. I knew we were shooting in the dark since everything was a matter of trial and error. However, after a few trials, she gained consciousness, and all she could say to my face was, “Aki pole.”

Reason with me. How was pole going to change anything? After a long night of her being piped by my roommate, all she had to offer was a pole. No way. That was a complete insult. So I decided to leave for my bedroom.

But to this day, I can confirm that the name Awuor revives past and dark episodes that I encountered that night. PTSD.

Sayonara!

Millennials what's the best advice you can give to Genz and vice versa!! Anything random you never know your advice might be useful to someone out there. I'll go first ; Be the person you needed in life.

Hey guys,

Can someone please recommend a good coworking space in Nairobi cbd, one that's not too pricey and with good internet?

Cafes don't work for me, I tried.

Thanks!

Sending love and lots of hugs to you -strangers

Sending love and lots of hugs to you -strangers

I've always enjoyed book based movies but I've enjoyed their books more (in the few instances where I got to the book before the movie /TV show). Problem is, the commitment it requires to finish a whole book amidst life happening (though it's entirely possible) and the movie cravings I get. I'm seriously addicted to watching 😂🙌🏼, even exercise doesn't make me feel that good

Anyone else get the ick when someone types "am" instead of "I'm"? Mahn hii ilinishinda kukubali🥹. We all have our quirks. What's your biggest ick?

I have a 2011 Nissan Serena and I wanted to know if anyone can recommend an affordable place for oil service. Or where I can get the oil and filter at a good price then I just find someone to do the work. Alternatively, where can I get an affordable tool kit so I can do such things myself?

My other question is where I can get secondhand off-road tyres for my car 195/R15C 106/104R size or similar and a full-size 15” rim to use as a spare at a good price?

https://www.reddit.com/r/nairobi/s/JJcQa1KfdE I came across this post, where a man has been raising three kids that aren't his, for 15 years. And so I ask - how can a lady settle with you if she doesn't want you to seed her? Three kids? This is too much. I don't know how one's sexual history, and to what degree, it contributes to such a state.

But one thing is for sure - she has been having multiple sexual partners in this marriage for 15 years, not to mention her sexual debuts before marriage. The other thing is this - it's easy for her to conceive again, because, regardless of this husband's financial status, she'll never lack the money to help raise her kids? And why? Because her baby daddies most likely love her, and each of them wanted her to bare a child for them, though not in marriage. They surely give her a substantial amount of money.

That's a mouthful of burning charcoal in his mouth! Heh! Anyways, I'll probably set up a paternity test in my clinic in the next two years, so as to make sure people aren't playing Gods role in child rearing. Let God be the Father of orphans. Imagine now, the sexual exploration this husband will drive himself into, just to calm down this traumatic experience. What if he begins abusing the wife, and emotionally drawing himself from the kids? Gai!

My favorite day would be Sunday, for obvious reasons I'd wake up at first light with great zeal. I'd take my sugarless coffee and ten samosas for breakfast to prepare for the great battle ahead. I would then tell my wife to meet me in church, a pastor should have a wife.

My favorite verse would be Malachi 3:10: "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house" I would evoke fear or is it the spirit of giving using the Ananias's and Sapphira's story. I would tell them that the heavens love a cheerful giver, can I hear an amen?

My favorite preaching would be prosperity gospel. I'd tell my congregants that poverty is brought by the devil and not their indolence, I would then console them using Mathew 7:7 "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you".

My favorite tool would be some water in a bottle I'd name it bomb. I'd sell it to my congregants at kes 200 per bottle and tell them it heals and cures everything, just like the one for Maasai's. If you suffer from cancer drink it, if you suffer from epilepsy drink it, if your husband is cheating put some in his food and if your stomach is big rub some on it. Necessity being the mother of invention, I'd have a whole team for water packaging.

My second favorite time would be the casting out of demons, I'd identify congregants who didn't offer anything and those that had unengaged face, I'd call them and tell them that it is the devil making them stingy and uninterested. I'd then proceed to hit their forehead with my hand so hard that they would collapse, Riswa!. That way I'd have had my revenge.

My favorite time would be tithing and offering time, I would lead a song "toa ndugu toa dada ulicho nacho wewe." After all I would have worked the whole day. I'd then proceed to my private chambers count my loot alone and just smile, I'd then give the coins to the ushers and assistant pastor while I keep the notes, I'd then pray and say praise be to the most high.

My other favorite time would be when I check my bank accounts in the evening and see that maybe I'm just 2000 shy off buying my new V8, you see the one I'd have bought 3 months ago would be now old.

After all our father is a wealthy father, his land is full of milk and honey and our houses will be made of Gold.

Just from sourcing a cleaning lady on FB and joined some of the groups cause my assumption is it’ll make my search quicker.

Yoh! Yoh! Yoh! (takes a deep breath) Yooohhhh!!!

I miss my innocence from about 10 mins ago😭

Terrible terrible acting and zero plot.

We've just reviewed an emergency case at casualty. The lady is a victim of domestic violence, and the trauma was inflicted on her by her soon-to-be husband. She is also expectant. A pelvic ultrasound has been done, and visible fluid pockets can be seen outside the uterus. She's having internal bleeding.

On asking her what happened, this is what she said. Her boyfriend and herself have been together for eight months. He wanted a baby, but she wanted to push conception till a few weeks before marriage. He would have none of it, and threatened to leave her. She begged him to stay, but his mind was made up. She later on admitted that he had a another girlfriend.

Okay. The only way to convince him was to state the obvious - she was already pregnant. Her moods were all over. From an irritable psyche to a depressed mind, name it all. She was anxious, morbidly brooding, always crying because she feared ending up alone, and she'd lost appetite. This mental distress triggered a hormonal disregulation, that was now causing uterine contractions, at only 4 weeks into the pregnancy.

She has no history of previous pregnancy terminations, and has never suffered any STI. She has one sexual partner, but worries her boyfriend may have more. His emotional detachment after she told him she was pregnant is what drove her into mild vaginal bleeding. But right now it's worse, and we're sure her body will reject this pregnancy.

My Thoughts:

Most of you here get into love, without setting any standards. Of course some standards are just delusional, but there are practical ones. Love shouldn't be transactional all the way. This guy really liked the lady. The lady by the way is very attractive, and her face was just outstanding. But all the dude saw was breasts and butts to pleasure himself with, not realizing that this beautiful creature could make a very loving and kind wife.

I didn't want to burden you with the entire clinical history. But you can see what the crossroads of commitment are becoming nowadays. People want to love, but they don't want to shoulder the burden of love. As for me, I will love my spouse as though we were tiny toddlers in Hogwarts. God help me🙏

From inadequate resources, trash medical care to fighting for food. I've really never been to prison but I imagine it to be quite similar.

Gangwars, beef and shady deals with the wardens, sneaking in and out, the thugery, oh my god there was a lot of crime being contained within the walls of my school.

It's a kakistocracy in there. 3 religions, a sh1t ton of dirty clothes, really bad food, overcrowded dorms (the mathafakin heat and bedbugs, roaches and crickets).

Honestly the only place I've seen a society exist resembling that of a highschool is mathari coz even githurai is not that bad. What are you really being groomed for in highschool?