I was wondering if anyone has made or knows of a discord server for folks who are just generally struggling learning about everything and dealing with family or emotions or politics in their daily lives to just vent or support each other.

Hey Friends!

While this is a support space, and sometimes we work on heavy stuff, we want to celebrate the wins and milestones, too!

What brought you joy this week? Any fun plans for the weekend?

Share your thoughts here!

Hi :) A little while back I had posted about talking to my boyfriend about changing his legal sex and name and that I was nervous to have that conversation. Well it went AMAZING! We had such a deep conversation about him and our future etc. And he is now in the midst of getting things changed, he already has his case number.

I kinda of want to do something silly and small for the day when everything is official, but I'm not sure exactly what to do. It definitely wouldn't be like a party or anything because we are too busy and don't have enough friends for that. We do handmade gifts for eachother often so maybe just a note and a letter? I would love to hear some ideas or what others have done for their partners!!

Hi all, My husband (ftm) has been experiencing a lot of dysphoria recently when we are intimate, specifically because when he looks down, he doesn’t see a males genitalia. Besides a dildo, are there any recommendations for toys that can pleasure him that aren’t too femme (we tried the rose and he’s not a fan), or things I can do to support him during intimacy? Thank you!!

Transitioning and hrt are a very sensitive topic for her, but I need let this out. So, my (cis woman) partner hast struggled with dysphoria already when we met. Back then, they still identified as cis hetero male. However, I realised very early in our relationship that none of that was true an they were only in denial. They came out as MTNB about 2 or 3 years ago. She wasn't very sure about hrt. However, throughout our entire relationship, she complained about having a too muskulin looking body, body har and overall, wanted to have a body like mine. To be fair, I am very lucky in terms of how my body looks. I don't gain weight very easily and if, everything is stored in my boobs, butt or eventually thighs . So, having a body like is a very unrealistic goal, even for cis woman. She tried to archive a more feminine body my working out and going on diets. However, it was always obvious to me that hrt would be healthier and actually help her to get a body that feels like hers, so I suggest it. At first she was scared. I think some part of her thought that she wasn't "Trans egnoth" to desire hrt. After a lot of questioning and worrying, she decided to go on hrt. It took a long time to get all the documents and diagnostics but she is almost there. I am so excited for her. She is already the most gorgeous person I can imagine. I can't wait for her to be more herself if that makes sense. Support them also heals something in me. When I hit puberty, I got chronicly ill. So I basically entered the hospital with the body of a child and left about a month later with the body of an chronicly ill adult.

I am so excited to support her in every step. Like, dealing with estrogen, calcutlating her bra size for the first time, helping her with the pain of brestgrow, seeing her in all those dresses the is currently to insecure to wear.

I am so happy for them. I think it will help her A LOT. And I can't wait to see that happen.

I am currently working on a care kit for hrt. Like skin products, snacks, massage oils, etc. Hormonal changes are thought. So I am doing my best to support them. If you guys have any ideas what to add to that care kit, please feel free to share.

I swear, this human being is awesome. I am so excited for our future. I am excited for evry step of it.

Hi everyone!! I was wondering if I could pick people’s brains. My gf is a trans woman and her E anniversary is approaching. We are going to celebrate but I’d like to get her a present to commemorate the occasion! Does anyone have any ideas or has anyone had any experience with either receiving or giving a very good present? Maybe I’m over thinking it and apologises if this question isn’t allowed on here - I just really want her to feel special and celebrated and would like to hear opinions☺️

I know this doesn't look the greatest. I've never done anything "artistic" in my life, but I got the sudden urge to paint something.

My fiancée is the fish (she chose the colours) and the red heart on the hook represents my heart.

My (MTF) partner loves fishing and her favourite fish is the northern pike. She absolutely loved it and even framed it and put it on the wall in our bedroom. 🥺

I made this using acrylic paint and sharpies.

Me (cisf) and my gf (transf) have been dating for almost 8 months now. I’m her first relationship since transitioning where she will get to celebrate valentines with a long term gf!! I am sooooo excited to spoil her and get her all the girly things. Her aesthetic is pink and hearts and sparkles so when I’m shopping I just want to buy her everything. I love getting her gifts in general, making sure she’s treated like a princess; flowers, drinks, coffee, random surprises. I’m just happy to make this day special for her. She says no one ever tried in the past to get her a cute valentines present, or even get one at all :((((.

I went to tj maxx and got a lot of cute things for under $40. I’d totally recommend to others shopping around :). I’m going to be hopefully finishing up an embroidery project for her as well. And obviously a longgg love letter!

We are long distance and won’t be together on Valentine’s Day but are going to give each other recipes and make a nice dinner to eat together 🥹❤️. I’m so happy.

This is being posted on a few trans subs. Sorry if you saw this more than once.

What up chat. 🩷🏳️‍⚧️

So my mtf39 girlfriend cisf39 have been together for 18 years.

She's doing about me cross-dressing since 2011. It started right around the time we got in a relationship together.

She knew I was trans years before I did. She helped crack my egg march of this year. I thought I was trans in 2011. Almost came out chickened out took a bunch of steroids for like 8 years and tried to deadlift/kickbox the girl away. Didn't work. She asked me for years if I was trans and if I would ever want to live full time as a woman. And of course I was like no that's gay 🤣. (I know I'm a fucking idiot)

So at first she was a little lukewarm during the transition. I'm still fairly masculine even though I'm on a mission to be the valedictorian of girl School.

She has started being really really supportive and went from calling me a masculine pet name to much more feminine ones and I've become the passenger princess and she has started making all the decisions in the relationship and really leading the way like I used to and I am fucking loving being second place and second banana.

I've started having intrusive thoughts.

I'm the biggest piece of shit in the world for saying this I don't think I could handle it if she were FTM. There I said it God damn I feel terrible.

I'm like how fucked up am I that she was 100% hearts not parts.

She's really embracing the lesbian label and the vibe and being like finally I'm part of the queer community! (She has been heavily involved in the pride scene as a former straight cisgender female for years) I think I gave her the validation of being queer🤣 which is awesome. I'm not even sure if I can handle it if she went from being super traditionally girly to really butch even as a cisgender woman.

Believe me I hate a part of myself over this...

Anybody else experience something like this?

How safe do you all feel in this current polical climate? Our partners have a right to their feelings, but what are you feeling?

Im absolutely furious. I have so many trans students. I will always be a safe place.

Im also a scientist who has been told by my state governor that i am to accept and present that there are only 2 sexes. I'm 100% going to lose my job. I will NOT lie to my students and the reproduction discussion is so close. I 2ant to tell them they are safe to talk to me.

I might suffer and so might my family. But I CANT. I just CANT. I have no idea how STEM plan to handle this kind of thing?

Im considering apologizing and nodding when they mentioned the "rules" the first year and letting them fire me if I dont have an option later.

This administration intends to destroy education anyway...

Hello. I'm new here and looking for answers.How do I reconcile my husband wanting to be my wife?

So my husband is a trans man and my family knows that. They don’t care and love him anyways. Unfortunately my family is republican. They aren’t religious but they are republicans and will most likely always vote that way because it aligns with how they run the business that they own and they think that it’s better for the economy and they also like the immigration stance that conservatives have. (My husband is also Hispanic) but besides all of that my family accepts him and doesn’t think any less of him. They invite him on trips, buy him gifts, try to make him feel included. We always end up arguing about family because I am close to my family and I don’t expect him to be besties with them but at least be around them for me and come along to family things but he always says that they want to take away his rights because of who they voted for and that he doesn’t feel safe around them and he doesn’t like them bc they’re white and voted for Trump. I try to keep politics out of family because it upsets me. I know they didn’t vote for Trump to take his rights away mostly because they don’t see that side of the media they have no idea that Trump wants to do that. I don’t want to try to justify their vote but still. I know they love him and want him to be apart of the family. We are suppose to on a family vacation this year (all of his expenses would be paid for) and he is on the fence about going because he doesn’t like my family and I try to be understanding and I obviously don’t want him to feel unsafe but my family has never once done that. And I want to have a real wedding next year bc we just had a small elopement but he doesn’t want any of my family to come he says it’s bc it’s his day too and he doesn’t want people who voted that way to be apart of his special day and he doesn’t care that they’re related to me. I can somewhat understand it but it upsets me bc it’s my family and I love them. It’s been honestly difficult navigating this. Sorry this is super long and messy. But does anyone have any advice? Every time I think we get past this problem it comes up again.

Edit: I do 100% support my husband and would never force him into a situation he is uncomfortable with I always stick up for him if anything is said by anyone. My family is very naive and they don’t pay attention do the horrible shit Trump does to trans people I mentioned something to my grandma about it and she had 0 clue. I try to educate them but it doesn’t have much good now. They do see my husband as a man and have never questioned it or made a thing from it. If something happened to him I know they would 100% be in his corner. And there are even times where my husband does enjoy being around them or he’s like that wasn’t bad at all etc. so it’s like one week he hates my family and can’t stand them and then they’re fine and it was okay and then it’s back to hating them. It’s been super upsetting for me because I would never ask him to change who he is or be someone he isn’t to be around my family I love him sooo much. My only wish is that we could just be around my family for big events like our wedding and maybe a few other times throughout the year.

Edit: I came here for support with my grieving and instead am being called transphobic and icky. Silly me for trying to look for support. I'll just grieve in silence. Goodbye!

Hi! I hope everyone who finds this is doing well. I found this subreddit on my search for emotional support in my struggle with my partners transition, I guess hoping to find someone who had a similar struggle and would have some helpful advice for me. I made a post & commented on someone else's post, both of which I deleted because they were getting downvoted & I was afraid of potential negative comments. I'm already struggling, I don't need anyone to make me feel worse & we all know how reddit can be. I have the impression this subreddit is only for people who are very happy about their partners transition & I'm genuinely happy for all of you, but does anyone know what subreddit I would go to for help with coping? I just want to be the best partner for her that I can be but it's been over 3 years and I'm still so torn up over losing the person that I thought she was for the first 4 years.

Hey friends, My (cis f) girlfriend (MtF)(soon to be fiancee) and I are long distance. She lives in Canada (honestly I thank my lucky stars for this every day recently for her sake, but I digress) and I'm in the Pacific Northwest. My family knows I'm in a lesbian relationship with her and while half are supportive and I never questioned this would be an issue for them, half of them are very... well, Trumpy. I told my dad (an avid Cheeto fan) and came out to him as not-straight almost a year ago (I had only dated men as far as he was aware before this) and was legitimately shocked when he said, "lots of people are in same-sex relationships these days," which for him was basically the most accepting I could have ever expected him to be.

She's been in the process of changing all her legal documents up in Canadaland so she hasn't been able to visit me in the states, but I've been to visit her a bunch. We've been talking seriously about getting engaged and me immigrating to Canada and I think we're going to do it! She's the love of my life and honestly I don't think I've ever been happier and I can't picture a better relationship than the one we have. When her documents process and she gets her new passport, the plan is for her to come visit me in the States to meet my family before we get married.

She transitioned before we met, so to me, she's always just been her as long as I've known her. I made a mistake and a couple of my family members know she's trans (and she knows I've told them) because I never thought it was much of a big deal, and in fact, I've always just kind of viewed when people are trans as more of a fun fact, I guess, than a defining characteristic. I told them very early in our relationship before she told me she'd generally not like that to be public information. I felt awful about having told them and I stopped telling people and have never referred to her as any different than any other woman in any meaningful way to them. She is just herself. For the people in my family who know she is trans, they have only ever approached that information with genuine curiosity and good-intentioned questions to gain understanding because it was something they were ignorant about. I have never shared anything personal about her journey or anything like that. They just didn't understand what "trans" really meant outside of the bad media rhetoric, and I've been happy to change that for them. Those family members, it turns out, just want me to be happy with whoever it happens to be with and I'm grateful. They're all very excited to meet her when she eventually visits.

Now the complication: my dad's side. He does not know she's trans. He just knows she's a woman. I honestly wouldn't feel like he needed to know if I thought he'd be calm and rational when he sees her. He's seen selfies of us together, but that's it. I know he's surprised me before with his reaction/semi-acceptance or at least acknowledgement of the relationship... but I'm worried. He's not calm or logical. In fact, he's a got a quick trigger and a mean tongue and a violent flare. He is someone who abused me as a child until my mid-20's when I went no contact for a bit (we won't go into that, I'm in therapy). We aren't close, but we're just close enough now (again) that he'd probably want to meet my (at that point) fiancee even if the vibes I've gotten from him are kind of that he's hoping this relationship is a phase even though I've been in it for a while. He knows I will cut him back off without hesitation and that I need nothing from him. My relationship with him is fragile, but I finally have equal control in dictating how it goes and how I'm treated. However, especially in the political climate, I am worried that basically all people who aren't explicitly supportive of trans people are people who are likely feeling emboldened by hatred for anyone's "other-ness." My dad is no exception.

She doesn't want me to tell him and I respect that, but I'm also worried for her if he suspects it AT ALL. She's very brazen, that one, and I love her for it, but I have a fierce need and desire to protect her from anyone who might hurt her. I'm just not sure what to do. We've talked about it and she wants to meet my whole family. She knows the situation and she's not worried. But she doesn't know him. She hasn't sat at our dinner table when I was growing up listening to him spout ridiculous lies and falsehoods about how "dangerous and sick" trans people are. I've had a trans partner in the past and she and I decided there would be no interaction between her and my dad. My dad never knew about her at all.

What do I do here? Follow my gut that I need to say something to him about trans people to at least gauge a potential reaction beforehand? Just not let them meet? Help!

Hello.

My (M26 cis straight) partner (FTM 23 bi) of 8 years first came out as a non binary, 6 years ago, at the time the only thing I knew about trans was transphobic jokes, so I made him feel very bad. He wasnt rly feminine from the start, short hair, no makeup, no shaving, etc (I didnt care), so after all it was kinda obvious he was trans. He came out a few month ago, first told me, then friends, then family etc.

I didn't react well cause for me it was like a breakup announcement, at first, cause I'm not gay. But after a lot of reading and thinking, I told him I still love him.

Since then, I think about it every day, sometime he ask me if he is a beautiful guy, he wants a beard etc and every times I kinda feel disgusted. But the thing is I really love him, I don't think it's dependance, we live together for so long and we laugh everyday, no problems at all, we enjoy so much being together

I know we can still live together just without the sex and/or romantic, but why am I thinking about this every fcking day

I wasn't really paying attention to gender stereotypes all my life, but now, I'm thinking, "Maybe I would like being with a girl with long hair" or similar, but it honestly feels like i'm telling that to myself to make me sad like I want to be sad

There's also the thing that telling friends/family that my GF is now a guy and that i'm not gay but staying with him, I can see themself feeling really pathetic for me, like I stay because I don't want to be alone

It's been a few month now and I still think about this every day, changing my mind, sometimes I tell myself I'm really happy with what I have and he is so nice I will love him forever, and sometimes the opposite, I just want it to stop and feel good

I’m incredibly lucky to have a beautiful partner who identifies mainly as genderfluid. I have known this since we first started talking over a year ago and have loved them since our first date whether I admitted it or not.

However, despite their gender identity they have not been able to express themselves outwardly due to family issues, work conflicts, fear, etc. All incredibly valid reasons and never would I ask for her to be out publicly unless it was completely her decision.

Despite this, they have experimented in private with me and some friends in the past. They feel comfortable being themselves in public when in chill environments away from their peers. We are moving in together (a basement apartment my parents built for us) and have mentioned they would like to experience more feminine style choices and even low dose HRT.

I would really like some advice from anyone on how to support them in this appropriately! I have bought some underwear for them, we’re both gonna share some clothes, etc.

I know there is more I can do for her that I’m not thinking of because I haven’t experienced this myself.

What are some safe methods for tucking? What are some cool trans social media influencers I can follow to help me as a partner be present and understanding? Any trans fem gamers who would like to share their setup so I can make a sick gaming area for them? What’s some advice you wish you had when moving in with your trans partner? What are your experiences with HRT?

Thank you again for any help or advice you can provide!

Very recently my partner of a decade shared with me that she has realized she is transgender. While she hasn’t started to transition, socially or medically, we have been talking a lot and discussing our future life together.

At first I was really quite shocked and maybe didn’t handle things the most gracefully, I cried a lot and felt pretty angry (not at her but just at this new unexpected hurdle appearing in our lives.) We also just had our first child so I was full of anxiety around what this would mean for our baby’s future.

After processing for a few weeks I have overcome the initial feelings of shock and doubt and honestly I just feel so.. euphoric. I have always felt interested in women and men, but have only ever dated and slept with men in my past. As I’ve gotten older, I have sometimes considered my desire to explore being with a woman but have always felt it wasn’t even a little bit worth it to sacrifice my relationship and life with my favourite person. She has asked me a few times now if I will miss being with a man and if I feel like she is taking that from me, and it’s kind of been a surprise to myself how much the answer is an emphatic no. I feel closer, more connected and more in love than ever, and I cannot wait for her to start living as her more genuine self and getting to see the blossoming that comes with that. She has always been a fairly shy and reserved person and i can’t wait for her to find a newfound confidence and self love.

Before my partner and I got together, I had a lot of very casual sex with many different partners and while it was fun and good I’ve always struggled to want to have sex and maintain my sex drive when I’m in an actual caring and loving relationship lol. That has also meant that during our relationship, while our sex life was satisfying for the both of us it wasn’t particularly frequent or prominent in our lives. Since my partners coming out, this has really drastically changed, thinking of her as a woman has really changed my relationship to sex and my level of excitement and eagerness.

Sex aside, thinking about my partner as my one day wife makes me feel SO excited. We have always put off getting married because it just wasn’t a priority really but I am suddenly so eager to marry the woman of my dreams. I of course want her to move through her transition at her own pace but I am so eager to be able to call her my wife. I really didn’t know that I had pushed down such a strong desire for women, and the more I think about our future the more I think that I might be a lesbian.

I know that this process will involve some challenges and I am sure there will still be some waves of anxiety or stress but at the moment I just feel so happy and excited for what the future will bring. I know this transition isn’t about me but I am just surprised at how much of my own identity I feel like I am discovering as she discovers more of her authentic self. Anyway, I am not really sure what the point of making this post is, I just really wanted to put into words what I am feeling and share with some people who’ve maybe had similar experiences. I’ve read a lot of posts here and while I completely understand people’s challenges and need for support, I haven’t read many stories of people feeling really excited and happy - I almost worry that I am a little bit delusional, since it’s only been 1 month since my partners initial coming out to me, but with every passing day I just feel increasingly excited for our life to come and the panic and worry of the first couple weeks fades more and more into the background h every passing day I just feel increasingly excited for our life to come and the panic and worry of the first couple weeks fades more and more into the background.

Hello, this is my first time posting on reddit so I am a bit nervous. I (cis-female) have been in a relationship with my partner (NB at the moment wants to transition MTF) for 5 years. They came out to me about 2 years ago that they identified as NB and are Pansexual and I was a bit shocked and confused at first. To be honest I was scared that was going to be the end of the relationship. However, they reassured me that nothing would change much, and so we went on with the relationship. Then, the conversation came up that they wanted to eventually transition to a female, and take HRT.

Of course, I supported them, at this point, no one knows about this not even that they identify as NB, so I felt kind of isolated from the beginning with no one to talk to. I wanted so badly for this relationship to work that I never said anything. I was scared for them to transition as a female because I had never been attracted to females. I am not attracted to the female body, and so I feel as though the more they are losing their masculine features, the more I am pushing back. I have been less intimate with them than before, and I fear it will get worse the more they transition. I thought that if it was them I would be okay because I love them so much, and they truly have made me the happiest I have ever been. However, now it's been 5 years I feel guilty, and depressed because deep down I know if they transition I will lose my attraction for them. The thing that hurts the most is that we both want to settle down and get married and have cats, dogs, and kids eventually. They want to transition take hrt, change their name, and do voice training after we get married, so now I am at a place where I have to tell them my feelings.

I know that I have been selfish for not saying anything before because I was afraid of how they would respond. We rarely ever fight, and they have never gotten upset with me before, however, because it's our relationship I fear they will be. They also struggle with depression, so I am afraid of hurting them and making everything worse. Another thing too is that if we were to break up, I am afraid because they said once that I am it for them and that they do not see them being with anyone else. I am afraid that once I bring it up they might say "Okay then I won't". I want them to be happy and I can already tell that with them growing their hair out, and buying feminine clothes, is already making them happy. I have read a lot about how most people when they transition they find the person who they wanted to be.

I just do not know how to bring up this conversation. What do I say so that I will not hurt them? When do I have this conversation? Please help me, because I do not know what to do, I feel so anxious.

I (cis f) struggle with body dysmorphia, but wondering if any other cis f find their spouse or partner a trigger as they transition. My spouse (mtf) came out about a year and half ago, we have been together for 20+ years, have kids and built a life together. I have struggled over the years seeing my spouse completely check out other gorgeous bodied females (now she realize she was wanting to be them not with them). She was not intentionally checking them out especially before she realized she was transgender, it was more of a feeling of envy. It would destroy me knowing my body is no where near what the females looked like as I have had 3 children. Even now knowing it was due to her wanting to be the females, but obviously she was attracted to them as well, it is a double edged sword. Clearly I know my body is not a type one would chose to have as 3 kids have left me with stretched skin and took away all perkiness on top, only cosmetic surgery can fix it. We have struggled with lack of communication and emotional connection, and their own alcohol addiction (both seeking individual and couples therapy). So there was unfortunately a very long stretch of feeling my appearance was heavily relied on. As my wife further transitions and follows women's fashion, lingerie, and beauty I find my bdd being triggered as knowing that's how she wants to look and that's what she finds beautiful. We've had a hard time establishing boundaries with adult content use and again it triggers my bdd knowing that she is both attractive to the other women but also desire to look like them too. She does struggle with telling me what she finds is attractive or what looks she is into when trying to spice our romantic life up so I am left in the dark and tend to feel she doesn't tell me because it is not what I can achieve. I can be out with my friends and see other gorgeous bodied women and not even be bothered, but if I am out with my wife I begin to feel disgusted with my body. If there are any other cis female partners that have experienced anything similar what things helped you, or do I need to be honest with myself and look deeper into are we compatible.

Hi! I (24mtf) am constantly keeping up with news to know if something is going to happen law wise, as we live in a red state, and my boyfriend (26m) has been a constant support for me, but I can’t help but feel bad about constantly being in the dumps from all the EOs being passed, and the state of affairs in our state. So the reason I’m posting, cis partners of trans people, how do you feel about supporting your partners during this time, and do you ever feel you need a break with everything going on? If so, what would you want done to help you feel like you can protect your mental health, while also helping your partner. I just don’t want to make my boyfriend feel like he’s bearing my cross 24/7, but it’s also hard to hide my feelings. Please let me know!

He recently crocheted a packer for himself and was so excited, it was adorable. I want to get him a more realistic one but I’m unsure what to get or if it’s even a good idea. He is allergic to latex and is on the smaller side. Any help will be greatly appreciated!

in the dark world we're headed towards, i want to start sharing my personal life experiences and stories to make people just like me feel less alone and have hope for the future. my life involves navigating society in my adulthood as a non-binary queer who works in technology, teaches coding/programming, smokes a lot of weed, deals with mental health issues, and plays video games in my free time. i grew up in an asian household with extremely religious, strict, but loving parents and was a star student, athlete, and musician. you can only imagine the tales i have but grateful to have made it this far. please comment/upvote if you would listen!

Hello all,

My wife is scheduled for SRS in a week's time. I am partially disabled and will be her only caregiver. I am really nervous about being in a city 2 hours away from home and being the only one there to take care of her and our pets for 5 weeks.

We will be in NYC. Are there any resources there that y'all know about? She is not a fan of strangers, already said she only wants me or one friend coming to take care of her, but I don't think she understands that I'm already exhausted.

Any words of advice are appreciated. :)

I posted this in another sub but I don't think it went through. It's very rant heavy but I'm lost and scared and don't have anyone to talk to really. It feels selfish to ask for help and support for myself when so much is going on, but I guess that's what I'm doing. I'm on my alt account since my wife knows my main. Trigger warning for the shitshow that is the us right now.

Did i fail? What did I do wrong? I've been with my wife for almost 10 years now, some of those married, been together before she came out and her whole transition. She's my soul mate. But I don't think it's enough. I love her with my whole being and she might leave. I know she's scared, I'm terrified myself and I'm cis. I can only imagine hers. But she's saying such awful things to me and blaming me and I don't know what to do. I love her, I don't want to lose her, but it's destroying me to hear. I don't think she means it, but I'll never unhear it. She spent hours tonight equating me with the fascists that did this. Literally, kept saying things like "you people" and "just be straight and rich, Go be with a man" when I'm very Sapphic. Shes said really mean things to me before, but this stuff was next level. She called me names and kept insinuating i wasnt the person i am, I'm actually a straight, conservative, Christian. Like she just decided I've been lying this whole time. It was so bad that i texted my therapist for an emergency session tomorrow. I've been in therapy for over 15 years and I've never felt the need to do that before, and I've been through some bad shit. I don't know why she felt the need to hurt me so much, maybe to just push me away? She has a lot of hate towards my parents and I get it.. they voted for him. And I'll never defend their vote, but I'll defend the part where she called them evil. They're not, they're ignorant and fell for the same stupid scam a lot of people did. Stupidly they thought they were making the country a better place and that the fears about what he'd do were fake. It was wrong of them, but they're not evil. It destroys me because they do care about her. They work on getting her pronouns right and using her correct name, even when she's not there. I've told her she doesn't have to interact with them or even like them, but because I still love them and talk to them, I'm "siding" with them. I'm not. I'm angry and disappointed in them but I think they're some that will see the mistake and turn around and help us fight. Maybe I am wrong for that, I don't know anymore. But for her to say those things to me... I don't know what to do. I sat my parents down when she transitioned and explained it to them in a fucking PowerPoint I made. I took out loans to get her name legally changed, made appointments to get her license updated. I went with her for her first appointments for hrt, I give her her shot every 2 weeks. Except now, she hasn't taken it in almost 4. She said she's going to detrans since that's what my parents clearly want... which they've never even asked if that was possible! And honestly, even if they did secretly want that and just never mentioned it, why is she so focused on them?? But then she tells me she can't go back and I don't want her to either. She kept saying "just leave me" throughout her whole hours long rant. I don't want to. She's my soulmate and while our life together hasn't been easy it's the happiest I've ever been. She's flying across country in a few days and I'm terrified. I'm scared of tsa and I'm scared she won't come home. But maybe it's better, me existing as I am is clearly hurting her. I just wish i was enough for her to want to fight. I wish our love was. I've been terrified of what all these orders mean for her, but I never thought that what could end our relationship was this. I don't even know what the point of all this is. I feel broken and defeated now. I've been so ready to fight for us. I wasn't going to let them win. But am I fighting for anything if she's done? I can't fight for us if she gives up. I just don't know what to do anymore. I love my family, they're honestly good people who, yeah, fucked up majorly, but I don't want to lose them. Maybe that's selfish and wrong of me... I don't want to lose her either. And I feel like she's going to make me choose. I don't want to be apart from her and i want to protect her, but i can't live like this either. Why would she do this? It's like she's self destructing... no, she is. And I'm so angry at her for it. Why would she give up and do this to us? After everything we've been through? Why aren't I enough to fight for? Why can't I wake up from this horrible fucking nightmare. I just realized how long this was... I'm sorry. I just don't really have anyone to talk to since I'd usually talk to her but I guess I can't.

TW: questioning my relationship with my partner who came out, please don't read if that's not safe for you

How do you decide to stay in the relationship or not when your partner comes out?

My (F-straight) partner (MtF - only likes women) officially came out to me a year ago when they got on hormones and came out socially. It was really fast, like a month or so tops. They had come out to me in a soft "I've been having not-cis thoughts" way a couple months before that and I told them they should seek counseling to figure out what they want. I didn't expect them to tell everyone so quickly. We hadn't really talked about it and it suddenly was "too late" to make any decisions about it. They said they would give it up and detransition if that's what I wanted bc I was more important, but I didn't feel like I really had a choice. So I'd get to be the bitch who made their partner detransition???

My partner's family has accepted them (expected) and I haven't told mine yet. My parents are... liberal but have some old fashioned views. For example, they believe bathroom bills are bad, but also believe that all trans people want all the surgeries. I think they just tell me too many of their "should remain inside thoughts" bc I'm their daughter. I think my background (minority, not a standard family structure) has made me really crave fitting in, because I so rarely feel like I do. It's not fair to my partner, but it was nice to at least present as a heteronormative couple. I just want to fit in in one aspect of my life and I can't.

I find their physical transition really difficult. They haven't even changed that much yet. Sex is also hard. Sometimes I'll be really into it, but then suddenly remember that they're a woman and not want to continue. I guess I'm just more straight and less bi-curious than I thought? They are, if anything, more loving, which just makes me feel worse.

I don't know what to do anymore. They are my best friend and I love spending time together and going to all of our favorite places. Our relationship was never perfect, but I was honestly willing to make it work, despite each of our flaws. Lately though, I've been getting jealous of the happy couples around me and daydreaming about finding someone perfect for me.

My partner loves me so much and I feel really bad that I feel so apathetic right now. I don't want to throw away the relationship for no reason, but I also don't want for it to slowly die over the course of years and then still have to start over.

I am feeling so overwhelmed with fear and anger for myself (22f) and my partner (23mtf). It’s debilitating. I can’t focus at work or on my last semester of classes. I can’t focus barely drag myself out of bed. I’m violent oscillating between apathy and extreme depressive episodes. I know that everything I feel is nothing compared to what my partner feels. Her fear is so much more than mine and I’m trying to support her. I just don’t know how to hold it together. How do I be strong for her? I don’t want to add to her fear and anxiety by falling apart but I feel like I’m drowning in this political hellscape.

Before you assume this is to do with any gender crisis or identity, it is not. I am 18 ftm, and my gf is 18 mtf.

I’ve written this out a few times so i’m sorry if this is a mess, i couldn’t bring myself to post it at first.

I should preface that I love my gf. we’ve been together a pretty long time now, and even live at university together. Unfortunately, we’ve had some bumps that have set me off track a little and i can’t find that sense of normalcy again.

In november of 2023, I found out she had been using an nsfw rp subreddit, to which i eventually mentioned to her. I was distraught. I felt cheated and embarrassed, really, for the both of us. I never let that go. It’s haunted me since, yet we’ve been on an okay path since. I still love her, she still loves me.

Unfortunately, yesterday when she was in a lecture, I borrowed her PC for something. I stumbled upon a secondary reddit burner. At first i didn’t want to invade her privacy, but the events of last time hit me and i felt it necessary. This time was so much worse.

There were two posts that had been deleted by mods, posted 6 months ago. The time is not relevant, considering she ‘pinky promised’ she would never do anything like that again. (Childish, i know, but it’s our thing.)

Not only were there two posts, but three sets of messages, ranging from the 20th to the 22nd of july 2024. Our one year was the 22nd and i had spend the preceding day/night with her. She doesn’t know i’ve seen the messages, however we’ve spoken about the account.

Last time, her efforts to make me feel better worked a little. I trusted her when she told me her reasoning, and when she told me she hadn’t messaged anybody. I still believe her on those two things. This time, i asked if she’d messaged anybody, she told me yes, i already knew that. I can’t bring myself to tell her i’d seen them. Long, strenuous to read conversations full of things she would never even intimately say to me. I feel undesired and unloved.

The first two chats were horrid to say the least, but i read them with the comfort that my gf and these people would never meet nor see each other. The third threw me off track. I opened, scrolled up fast and began to read. after a few messages the other person began sending dick pics. she seemed into it. she admitted to finishing to the photos.

I’m trans. I don’t have a dick. I’m not comfortable enough in myself to let her play out some of those fantasies. But why is she doing it online? I feel sick. I don’t want to move and i’m acting like nothing at all is wrong. I couldn’t get out of bed for my lecture at 1pm today. I’ve done nothing but sit and try not to cry whenever she looks at me or talks to me. we’re pushing for it to feel normal again and i can’t seem to grasp it.

i really don’t know what to do. please offer me advice, or atleast react to this with any condolence you have. thank you for reading 🫶🏻

I'm mtf (post-op) and my bf is ftm, he's planning on getting phalloplasty in the near future, my question is how does phallo dick feel like in comparison to cis dick?(penetrative sex wise)

ive never had sex with cis men before, i mean i was with a cis man before but we never really had penetrative sex (mainly because i was pre-op at the time and was disgusted with my body)

i feel like this isnt the best place to ask this, as it appears most posts here are cis women married to trans women. I'd appreciate it if you could point me to the right place where i could ask this. I'm mainly looking to hear the experiences of cis women and post-op trans women who've had sex with a post-op trans man. I'm curious and would like to know, is it really any different from cis dick?

I’m really struggling with the changes in my partners personality since transitioning. My girlfriend has been out and transitioning for a little over two years. I expected changes as she figured out who she really is and becoming more comfortable with herself. The changes have become incredibly difficult for me and I feel awful.

She’s so needy now, always wanting to be complimented, told that she’s hot, fawned over. It just feels so superficial to me when she’s asking for it all the time. She tells me I do a bad job when I compliment her and it’s not exactly what she wanted to hear, and if I disagree with her on if something I said to her would bother me if the roles were reversed she doesn’t believe me and gets mad. I feel like I can’t do anything right anymore. She has a much higher sex drive than me as well and I feel like this also contributes to the friction.

This has also impacted other areas like her only interest in finding a new job is starting an only fans. She has been on disability for about a year and is out of time soon. She doesn’t really want to find an actual job and start an of. I support her but realistically we need more than someone just starting out would make in order to not end up homeless. She did express anxiety about this because she procrastinated getting her documentation with her new name in order and I told her we’d figure it out because we can’t change that now and now it’s like she doesn’t care about it at all.

I’m stressed, I’m sad, I miss my partner even though that wasn’t her true self. I hope that this phase settles because I don’t know if I can keep up with this long term. If we lose our home I don’t know what we’ll do. I know she won’t handle it well and I don’t always respond well in times of great stress. I worried for our future. I feel like a terrible partner for missing someone that was in so much pain

Hi everyone! My beautiful MtF fiance came out to me just a short time ago. I am a cis F and deeply in love with her, no matter what. But I also am extremely anxious. I would love to stay at her side until death does us apart, but lately I heard quite some stories about HRT changing a persons sexuality.

Right now she says that she is disgusted by men and everything male. I am scared that after some time on HRT, she will start seeking out physical relationships with males.

Are there any success stories from couples where the MtF part took HRT for longer than just a couple months and didn't lose attraction? I am in dire need of hearing them because my anxiety is literally killing me right now and I want this time of change to be positive and not riddled with angst.

EDIT:

Thank you all so so so so much for your positive stories and informations on this topic! I feel way more secure now and am actually excited about my future! I feel genuinely happy for everyone of you, where everything worked out in your favor!