Assalamualaikum, I'm a 27 male, still single. Let me tell you my story which gonna involve two stories that occur at the same timeline, but its gonna merge in the middle

OCD

At 13 years old, I developed a form of waswas regarding the completeness of my wudu'. My mom told me it was the whispers of shaytaan, so dont entertain it. But i couldn't ignore it easily at that time. I reached puberty at the age of 14. I had a terrible waswas involving ghusl. The whispers turns into straight up blasphemous thoughts which said 'I want to leave islam'. I was brought to a psychiatrist, medically diagnosed me having an OCD. During my teen age, these thoughts evolve into shirk thoughts, associating whoever and whatever to Allah. The devil also whispers the doubt of the existense of Allah. This worthless creature even whispers me to hate Allah, and associating Allah with evil. It was more intense when I am performing Salah and reading the Quran. Of course, there are times when suicidal and harmful thoughts arise, especially during fighting the porn addiction.

Porn addiction

During my childhood, as in 4 years old, I was exposed to medical textbooks revolving naked bodies. My mum is a gynaecologist, so theres a bunch of that. To be honest, i wouldn't blame my mum since these textbooks was thought as a neutral education stuff. I didn't realised the 'good' feeling I felt was haram. Plus, I was thought to lower my gaze when women are nearby, but not to these 'educational' images. Fast forward to 9 years old, the TV channel during that time contained animes. Why I emphasize on animes? Because parents at that time didn't realised how animes are chock loaded with sexually arousing scenes. Parents thought these are just 'cartoons for kids'. Oh, how society has brainwashed us. I still remember al most everyday, I was playing with myself at the age 13 because it just felt 'good'.

After a reached puberty, this 'sexual education' had caused me tremendous relapses, the Westerners called it 'exploring yourself'. What a horrible propaganda.

The fuse

Moving on to OCD-diagnosed era, these 'self sexual exploration for education purposes' provides a very brief numbness in not responding to these blasphemous thoughts. But, the thoughts became much worse after each relapse. I was seem not aware enough that porn addiction and OCD stupid thoughts are linking, up until 25. Here's the chronology:

1. I relapsed, my dopamine dropped and guilt of sin bombards me with guilt thoughts. This cause OCD shirk thoughts to be increase as well the stupid thoughts associates Allah with evil things such as the devil, stating Allah just wanted me to suffer
2. I did taubat to Allah
3. I promise myself not to do it again
4. Watch motivational video
5. Becoming more spirited in moving on
6. Guilt thoughts of syirik accompanied by sexual trying to scare me, but still under control.
7. Keep focusing on my work and dreams
8. Start to do physical exercise
9. Start to reduce procastination
10. Manage to get more free time.
11. Planned on focusing on personal and Part-time projects. My hobby is 3d printing and learning new technical skills.
12. Felt gradual overwhelming of tasks.
13. Shirk thoughts followed by sexual thoughts increase, followed by increase of false fear.
14. Break my principles, starting with exploring 'biology for educational purposes'. At this time, I tend to keep switching from one topic to another, one is worse than the other, just to numb my brain from the bombardment of the shirk thoughts.
15. Ruminating on sexual stuff and dwell in the harem session.
16. Relapse

I truly hope and I believe one day, I can be as strong as my mom, who has overcome her false fear OCD shirk thoughts. I want to get married, but these OCD thoughts with pron addiction cycle is just..... I do believe I have the capability to overcome both of these illnesses, but even when I am typing this content, the OCD stupid doubt thoughts is still there. This stupid thoughts is disturbing me from curing the porn addiction and finding a spouse. Just so you know, these stupid thoughts, I would it is almost alway there to bother me, but porn addiction, anxiety or sometimes out of nowhere, these can increase the intensity of the false fear, false doubt, depression and many more.

Is there anyone like me? I really would love to know how you manage to endure this and still thrive. How do you manage to get married and go through marriage with all these challenges? May Allah grant us all jannah. Ameen

I fapped again.It feels like everyday will feel like a godd day and some random time I will have the urge.I try to pray to keep the thoughts away but after praying I still feel like doing it.Ive been trying since 2023 to stop these horrible habits.I don't understand anymore.i deleted all my apps and followed all the advice but every single time I'll succumb to these bad thoughts.I feel like a failure as a Muslim

Salamualaikum,

Wanted to share my thoughts today on something that I have been thinking of for a while.

There have been times where I restart my progress after a relapse and base my system on being strong. With this, I made no real changes to my lifestyle and just relied harder on “self control”. Still put myself in dangerous corners of the internet where there very possibly could be triggers - “but I will be strong and not give in”. Controlling my gaze no differently than before in public - “but I will practice my self control and stay strong”. In my experience, relying on my self control to such a heavy extent only took me so far.

To have a real sustainable system, discipline is far more important than blatant “strength”. Discipline is keeping yourself away from corners of the internet that are risky business, it is controlling your gaze in public and so much more. I have even heard people talk about how much their diet affects them (though I have not noticed this myself). In my opinion, strength or hardcore “will power” only should be relied on when you are presented with a situation of triggers regardless of your discipline.

It took me a long time to realize this and I will be the first to say that it is easier said than done. Let me know what your experience is, I would love to learn more.

As always, my goal remains the same. I take things days by day. With that, I will see you guys tomorrow inshallah.

Assalamu alaikum, brothers and sisters.

Been struggling with this for over a decade now, and I’ve finally decided to commit to stopping. I was able to make it a week, but relapsed a week ago. I was confident I could stop on my own, but I’m realizing this last week that I’m not holding myself accountable and continuously making excuses as to why I could do it- just this one time. Only to fall back into my addictions.

I am looking for accountability partners (who are fellow sisters.) I am especially looking for those of us who do truly fear and respect Allah, and those who can guide and be guided closer to our faith.

Day 7 it is, sometimes I would just wake up in the middle of the night horny which I understand that my body wants to release, but I resist the urge and go back to sleep. Hopefully it will get better as the days go by!

1. Motivation et perception

• Transformez votre perception de la masturbation : voyez-la comme quelque chose de nuisible, de vide et qui ne vous apporte rien. Apprenez à la détester au point où elle ne vous attire plus. Changer d'identité est essentiel : vous n’êtes pas quelqu'un qui essaie d'arrêter, mais quelqu'un qui ne pratique plus du tout.

2. Identité et environnement

• Considérez-vous comme une personne qui ne pratique plus, en intégrant cette image à votre identité. Changez aussi vos habitudes, évitez toute situation de tentation (contenu NSFW, réseaux sociaux provocateurs) et faites des ajustements à votre environnement pour éliminer les déclencheurs.

3. Mode de vie

• Adoptez le "mode difficile" sans compromis : plus aucun lien avec la pratique. Remplissez votre temps avec des activités productives comme les études, le sport ou les passe-temps enrichissants.

4. Jeûne et douches froides

• Le jeûne aide à contrôler les désirs et renforce la discipline. Les douches froides apportent une énergie qui réduit les pulsions et améliore la volonté.

5. Raison de le faire

• Faites-le pour vous-même et pour les gens que vous aimez, ainsi que pour votre propre respect de soi. Envisagez également d’impliquer des proches de confiance pour créer de la responsabilité.

6. Résultats et bénéfices

• Ce chemin vers NoFap améliore non seulement votre apparence physique (moins de gras facial, traits plus nets), mais aussi votre bien-être mental. Vous développez une confiance accrue, une meilleure communication, un respect plus naturel pour les autres et une perception plus saine envers les femmes.

Conclusion

• Ce parcours est plus qu'une simple abstention ; il s’agit d’une transformation de soi. Demandez de l’aide spirituelle si c’est pertinent pour vous, et concentrez-vous sur l'amélioration de votre vie globale.

I'm sorry if I come across insane. But I had to vent it out cuz I have an exam and this has bothered me so much I couldn't study.

I honestly still don't know why I'm still worried about this 24/7 when I have literally taken an oath by Allah to be single and celibate all my life.

No disrespect to my hijabi/niqabi sisters, I love you for the sake of Allah but I am not attracted to proper hijabis and niqabis. I only want to marry an immodestly dressed beautiful non-hijabi who's wild. I would ideally love to have an Instagram baddie but they are all non-Muslims and also promiscuous and so it would be haram to marry them. I want wild and promiscuous girls like these but again, haram.

I know I have to lower my gaze and I'm trying. This is another reason I shouldn't marry; I don't lower my gaze and I will keep desiring an immodest woman who shows her beauty. So a hijabi/niqabi will be boring and prudish for me. I don't want to hurt and oppress a Muslim woman like this so I believe it's better I just don't get married instead of being sad that I couldn't get a beautiful woman who dresses attractively and revealingly like these Insta girls and keep wishing that I had these women instead of this modest hijabi/niqabi who is obeying the command of Allah to cover up.

Again I didn't mean to offend or hurt my muslim sisters. Don't worry about my rancid lustful self since I swore an oath to never marry. So no muslimah is gonna be affected by my perversion. But wallahi I don't want to and never will marry a truly modest hijabi/niqabi.

On top of that I'm scared of being called a 'dayooth' and not having any ghayrah. I don't want to be constantly stressed out that I should have ghayrah, I should control my wife, I should make her cover up. Even though I firmly believe and this is said by actual knowledgeable scholars that marrying a non-hijabi doesn't make you a dayooth and the definition of dayooth is very different from what Muslims online think it is. It's funny how all these akhis on social media love throwing this word around without giving a reference from actual scholars as to how the ulama of Islam understood what dayooth is.

It's just that I fear being mocked and insulted by my so called fellow 'Muslim' akhis for being a 'dayooth' even though I believe if your wife doesn't wear hijab you are still not a dayooth.

I desire a lifestyle of hedonism and zina. I know its empty, shallow and haram but I just wish I could be like these playboy millionaires and billionaires who have endless hot girls, partying with bikini clad girls on their yachts and beach while I have never even gotten a single woman in my life and never will. But I would truly be content with even getting married to the women I prefer.

And I constantly get sad when I see couples in university because I will never get any girl myself due to the fact that Islam prohibits me, I'm not the man that any woman would ever want. These couples can be intimate, do all sorts of sexual and romantic stuff, give each other affection and companionship while I can only fantasize about all of this.

Again I know I should strictly lower my gaze but wallahi nothing is gonna make me stop wanting the women I actually want. And wallahi nothing will make me be attracted to a pious practicing modest muslimah.

My stupid brain still has hopes I can get the women I want but I dearly want to give up on all this since it's all haram and bad and I have promised Allah I will never marry even if it kills me.

TLDR: Change your views on fapping - know that its a horrible thing, that it will negatively affect you, and fix your perceptions as to how common it is/how others are doing compared to you. Begin to hate PMO to the point you will never masturbate again. Kill the tiny bit of love that you have for the pleasure of an orgasm, as its short-lived and empty, much like other vices of society (e.g. drugs, deathscrolling social media). Change your identity, from someone whos 'tryna quit' to someone who 'doesnt masturbate. at all'. Don't touch your dick outside of urinating AT ALL, remove ALL urges from your life - learn what they are and how to avoid them. Basically do hard mode but make it piss-easy. Fill your time with productive things that'll help you, and hang out with some real friends. Begin fasting, to bring on a different state where you just don't feel like fapping. Take cold showers. Do it not just for yourself, but everyone else in your life who loves you and cares for you. It's worth it.

0.0: Introduction

As the title says, I went from 1-2 day streaks at one of the lowest points of my life, to my current NoFap streak that began in March this year (and I have no intention of ever stopping). Here is my advice for those who want to save themselves from a downwards spiral of regret.

0 a) Rock things up

If you're still at streaks below 30 days, then whatever you've been doing for the last few years isn't working. If you really do want to stop masturbating completely, its a pretty big change. And if you really want to make a big change to your life, you're going to need to take some big actions, and completely change your lifestyle, environment, routine, attitude, etc. I want you to know that reading guides won't do anything if you don't have the willingness to make things happen yourself. Guides can only help so much - its like a man who lost both of his legs (you) with a wheelchair (nofap community/guides). Even though he has a wheelchair, its completely up to him whether he's going to move. He's not going to get anywhere unless he moves his arms to push the wheelchair. I want you to decide that enough is enough, and it's time to stand on business.

1: Your views on fapping

Every building needs a strong foundation. Your success in NoFap heavily depends on what you think about fapping, and PMO, and your motivations for doing it.

1a) Is it bad?

Back when I used to barely get past 2 days, I definitely had a different opinion of masturbating. I knew it was bad, because it wasn't allowed in my religion and any pleasure was fake and virtual.

However, my nofap 'streaks' were too short and I needed to change something. So I spent a day researching about PMO and the negative physical effects. I began to abhorr the action of masturbation, and I found it disgusting. I also thought it was one of the worst things I could to my future self - spiritually, mentally and physically.

FYI masturbation shrinks you down to a shell of yourself. Shy, pathetic, ugly/evil faced and sinful. 

1b) does everyone do it?

I used to justify the act of masturbation because I 'knew' that everyone else my age (and in my high school) was doing it. Reflecting upon it years later though, I realise that the only people who ever mentioned masturbation (or said/did sexually inappropriate things) were the very lowest of the low in regards to behaviour, grades and morals. The boys that used to brag about themselves watching porn now have 0 friends and are still crazily addicted to it, and have lost all meaning in their lives.

I actually went and asked the people who I admired the most in my grade, who were nice, very handsome & got good grades. Surprisingly, every single one of them said they had either never masturbated, or had quit yearsago. With my trajectory at the time (when I was heavily addicted to PMO, my grades went from high achieving to average), I took this as inspiration to quit, and decided I wanted to be smart and handsome too.

One important thing to remember is that if you fap a lot, you'll justify it mentally by thinking that everyone else does it. Suspicion haunts the guilty mind. You can't imagine living life without orgasms. But after a few months clean, you realise just how wrong you were. 

1c) i hate it, its disgusting, revolting and pathetic

I used to think of fapping as a guilty pleasure of mine that I did, and should stop. Like going late to school, i.e.  it's bad but it’s not a serious, grievous sin. What really changed was when I started to absolutely hate the deed. I hated the expression on my face when i fapped. I hated the way that I'd be awake at night when everyone else was sleeping, doing things that would disgust most others.

I began to think of fapping as pathetic, and began to hate fapping so much to the point that I could never do it again. At the same time, I emphasised my own importance, and how I should respect myself. Mentally, I respected myself too much to allow myself to ever touch my dick unless it was for answering the call of nature.

1d) do you settle for mediocre?

its true, a lot of people do indeed masturbate, and frequently engage in PMO. They're the masses. If you do that, you're average. however, if you really want to do well in life & become successful like your role models, you can't settle for that. you have to be better, and you do that by NOT falling into the same vices as others. By not being comfortable all the time, by getting used to hard work & being different. Think of it like this - the most successful people in life were nothing like the rest of their peers/friends during their early years. They don't do the same things as the masses. To get ahead, you put aside instant gratification for things that will benefit you in the future. Do you think Christiano Ronaldo deathscrolls instagram for hours every morning? Fapping is one of the things that many people do that is harmful to them, and by not fapping you're already in the top 5% of men your age. After all, do you really wanna be average? To be in a room of 10 boys your age and to be ranked 5th or 6th?

2.0: Change your identity

This is one of the most powerful things that James Clear wrote about in atomic habits (the only self help book I've ever read). If you think of yourself as a non-smoker, you're far likely to resist someone's offer than if you're just 'someone who's tryna quit'. Cause the temptation of 'just one more' will most likely wipe you out.

You've gotta think of yourself as someone who no longer masturbates. Who no longer watches porn, who genuinely hates PMO and everything to do with it. This will change your identity and principles to the point that you can't do it again, cause you're not a downbad simp or an incel in your mum's basement, clinging to online fantasies. changing my identity helped a LOT with maintaining my streak 30 days and beyond. I no longer wanted to hit 30 and restart - it allowed me to stop focusing on the numbers, and not make nofap the centre of my life. When I was alone, instead of thinking 'dont fap, resist the urge', the thought didn't come to me at all cause i wasn't a fapper and thats not what i do. I got better, more productive ideas (or less damaging vices) like 'okay i'll only watch 5 mins of youtube before i start studying'.Because i am no longer someone who masturbates, i genuinely believe i will continue this streak till the day i die. i'm never doing it again. That's the attitude that's worked for me so far, and it will not change until I get married inshallah. 

3.0: 'hard mode' is the only way to succeed, but make it easy.

'hard mode' is when you don't come close to masturbation at all, dont watch porn or masturbate at all. You completely stop getting pleasure from touching/stroking your private parts, only ever touching your dick when you're answering the call of nature.. A lot of fapstronauts who've been clean for years say that its the only way to quit. and they're right, but you can make it easy. I used some strategies from atomic habits and applied them to nofap, and it worked shockingly well. Here's how.

3a) make it HARD to fap, so NOT fapping is easy

someone who is doing well in life doesn't have superhuman resistance skills, they just remove the need to resist at all. A person on a diet doesn't buy junk food, or keep it in the house. Similarly, someone tryna do nofap must make it IMPOSSIBLE to get triggers. Install porn blockers, disable incognito mode from registry editor if needed, delete all your 18+ apps, unfollow any NSFW accounts, delete any downloaded NSFW content you have. Just get rid of it. Now, whenever you get the urge, you can't really do it if you wanted to - its a hassle. You'll start procrastinating on the action of fapping. Now, when you want to masturbate, you'd have to do it to a plain concrete wall, and if you do that you'll realise just how pathetic your situation is.

3b) be very aware of, and completely eliminate any triggers

Do not watch any skimpy movies/shows (you're not a simp), no NSFW, nothing. Don't play games if they've got sexy characters - you have better things to do than play games anyhow. Make all of your life something you'd be completely fine with your parents & extended family seeing. Make your life something that you would be fine with everyone seeing on the Day of Judgement.

Also, be really aware of when and why you get triggers. Do you always fap when lying in bed, tryna sleep? Defeat that urge. tell yourself you're not going to fap tonight, etc.  You need to stop associating your bed with PMO unconsciously, because your brain will otherwise immediately suggest it to you when you clock out for the night. Change things up to the point you won't ever think of fapping there again - sleep in the living room for a while, or in communal housing where people are watching. You get the urge in the shower? Take cold showers, you wouldn't be able to masturbate if you tried. You get the urge when you're home alone? Try not to be home alone at all, or be constantly on a call with friends until you can reject the notion of fapping even when you get the perfect opportunity. 

With the above paragraph, changing your environment is a really good idea. I.e. changing your pillows, the direction/location of your bed or room, the publicity of your desk, the temperature of shower water, etc.

I must strongly emphasise that ignoring any triggers and urges was what propelled me to 200+ days. I have not gone close to masturbation even once in this time, and I fear that I may fail immediately if I do. I only ever touch my dick when I need to, for toilet reasons.

3c) special emphasis on avoiding triggers

recently a friend invited me to try out a game for the first time in a long time, and there were some characters that were really hot.  It astonished me just how QUICKLY i got urges, and how strong they were. I uninstalled it soon afterwards, because I was genuinely scared that I was going to break my 180+ day streak. Games and risque content make you aroused WAY MORE than you get aroused in normal life.  Do notice that most things that have triggers won't get you very far in life, and is probably a characteristic of a basement nerd. i.e. watching anime 'for the plot', and playing games all day.

4.0: Fill your time with productive things

you get urges when you're alone, in private cause you don't want people to see you when doing something that you know is disgusting. you have to consider, why are you alone and in private at this time, and not busy?

Go do something - fill up your schedule with productive things that you enjoy, and will benefit you. No games, they'll only give you triggers and waste your time. Study. Do sports, join a soccer club. Maybe get into jiu jitsu or taekwondo. It'll help you increase your confidence and make you think of yourself as someone who's changed, and has better things to do than rub his dick in a dark room at 7pm, all by himself.

when you are alone though, i.e. about to sleep, do other productive things that are well-known to be beneficial. Journal, read or study. They're extremely beneficial.

5.0: Fast

That was not a typo. As a muslim, I looked to my religion for tips on how I could do nofap well. I discovered that the Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said regarding someone who's struggling to control their 'lower desires' (e.g. lust): ‘O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, then let him do so, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding chastity. And whoever is not able to do that, then let him fast, for that will be a shield for him.’ see here for more info.

Fun fact, my streak actually started in march 2024 because that was when Ramadan started - i fasted the whole month and I found that I felt NO urges, in fact I only realised i had reached 30 days (my highest streak in 3 years) on Eid, when ramadan finished. Fasting is extremely effective for managing urges, because your lower desires are mainly triggered when the desires of your stomach have been met, i.e. food & drink. You get more of an urge to fap after a big unhealthy meal compared to if you were hungry, and just wanted some food first. It was what made the most change to my environment that allowed me to jump from 2 days to 200+, cause the usual situations I got urges in weren't the same. You dont have time to worry about wringing your dinger when you're just tryna ignore the urge to eat food.

BTW fasting makes you realise that resisting comfort (and getting used to doing things you dont want to do) is essential for doing things that actually improve your life. You increase your self-discipline & willingness to do what you should do, but dont want to do.

6.0: Cold showers

The last time i had a warm shower was around november 2023. Cold showers give you a shock and adrenaline boost that gets rid of any urges to fap, and are absolutely OVERPOWERED. Cold showers helped me develop the discipline to make myself do what I needed to, but did not want to.

7.0: What you won't do, do for love 🎵

Love is something that's powerful - your care for others can make you do things that you would never be able to force yourself into otherwise. You can incorporate love into your nofap streak as well. Hear me out 😭🤚

7a) think about the people that depend/rely on you, trust you and are rooting for you

you've got people you care about - do you want to disappoint them? You can't let yourself become a retard when your loving parents have worked tirelessly to put a roof over your head, and raise you. Do it for them. What about your friends, your teachers, your crush at school - would they be impressed if they found out what you do when noone's watching?

7b) make yourself accountable, by other peoples opinions

find someone that genuinely wants you to improve, e.g. a close friend, but who's opinion you genuinely care about. Someone you'd never want to let down. Tell them you're beginning a streak, and promise to tell them if you ever lose. Become accountability partners with bro if you really need to. You need to be held responsible for your actions, and if you lose your streak others' opinion of you (and you're trustworthiness) will decrease. You'd be surprised how far humans go to preserve their reputation.

7c) love yourself

do you know what self respect is? it's taking care of yourself, and doing whats best for you. do NOT confuse that with self-gratification, because doing whats best for you is NOT doing what you want to do. Self respect is making sure you're on top of all your responsibilities, being hygienic, doing sports, etc.

Doing whats good for you is loving yourself, and nofap is one of the best things you can do for yourself, period.

8.0: Ask god for help

I embarked on this venture not only to improve myself, but to also get closer to God by following his commands. As a Muslim, I soon realised that everything that's Haram is prohibited it's genuinely BAD for us, or the harm outweighs the good (Hence alcohol was allowed in the early days, but got banned once its effects became apparent). Self improvement and adhering to god became intertwined. I prayed to God a LOT to help me escape this filthy habit, and I genuinely believe that without God I wouldn't be writing this post today. Nor would I have ever been born. If you're religious you can also find other people your age who are struggling with the same affliction, and lean upon them for advice, inspiration and accountability. The 5am morning prayer is also essential to get yourself productive and at peace :)

9.0: Benefits

I'll just say it outright - NoFap has completely changed my life not just mentally, but physically too.

9a) Facial features

My chubby face fat just went away. I've got a sharp  jawline now alhamdulillah, and I get complimented for it by people quite often. I've also noticed my eyes simply look different. They used to look slightly dark, mean and just bad. Now I look a lot more innocent (i think its because I am, I'm now completely okay with my parents observing everything I do on my devices). ).  The effects of my sins aren’t having a physical effect on my face anymore. My face might have also become more attractive (a girl asked me out at an inter-school science competition (im 16) which has... never happened before in my life. )) I'm not saying that 'girls can smell nofap & manliness from you🤓' (thats bs), but rather that nofap (and quitting PMO) has genuinely incurred some changes in my face that made me look more handsome, innocent, gave me a jawline and removed the soulless/evil look in my eyes.

My reasoning behind that is a bit religious too - in Islam we believe that God puts 'light' on someones face if they're a good muslim (== good person) which makes their face brighter and more beautiful. I'm not saying I'm a good muslim, or more handsome than the average guy. I'm just saying I went from a 2 to 'at least a 7'/10 (science competition girl's friend said so 🥳 )

(guys talking to girls is haram, I have since ended all contact with both of them and only have male friends - do not use nofap success as an excuse to get into Zina)

9b) Physical features/body

I don't go to the gym, as I don't prioritise it as much compared to studying/my other hobbies. I do a few pushups on the side, around 200 total per week. (max is 40 so far). However, I had been doing this for a few months late last year where I was jacking off multiple times a day. I made figuratively 0 progress - I did go from 15 to 25 reps in these 3 months but saw VERY LITTLE change in my body. I was still very skinny fat and was ashamed of my body. However, as soon as I started nofap I was making much more progress, and losing weight was a lot easier. In fact, I managed to lose weight while increasing muscle too. I now am a lot leaner, and have a 4 pack. I dont know much about testosterone (or really care about my levels; it seems like gobbledygook) but its definitely made me stronger and made my body look better.

9c) ATTITUDES TOWARDS WOMEN

This is one of the biggest changes I've noticed. Once you're a few months free, lust is basically gone from your life. You no longer assess the '2 important features' of women that you see in public. You grow to be disgusted by that behaviour. You realise that you've been mentally objectifying women for years, even though you say that you don't. You genuinely treat them like normal people, and can talk to them with no ulterior motives like lust. You can talk to them just like you would to a male friend, casual and respectful. You learn to lower your gaze in public and in private. You realise the importance of Islam’s rules in place between the free-mixing of Men and Women, and the wisdom behind them. Begin to think of girls on the street as your sister, or mother - how would you feel if other men stared at them like perverts?

9d) Stuttering and eye contact

I used to stutter a lot, regardless of who I was talking to. That's gone now. Eye contact is also a very normal thing for me now - used to have issues meeting people's gaze in a conversation but I don't remember how that feels anymore. My eye contact is now rock solid Alhamdulillah.

9e) Wellbeing and mental health

Masturbation made me hate myself, because I was doing something that I knew was wrong but I wanted the pleasure from it - even though I didn't deserve it. I felt immensely guilty and low, and whenever I saw a pretty girl I'd feel AFRAID because I thought they were out of my league, and because I jacked off regularly. NoFap basically reversed all this, and it's made me feel a LOT more confident about myself. It's also given me peace of mind, with no search histories to wipe/worry about. I can rest easy at night knowing that my future isn't cooked, and I can have a fair go at life without being enslaved to a mindless addiction.

10.0: Conclusion

This is all I have to say for now. I still use this reddit account for lurking, and get notifications for comments/replies. So, if you have any questions to ask or comments to add, please feel free to do so :)

It'd also be great if anyone has more tips/tricks and cheatcodes to succeed with NoFap. I can edit them into this post if so. Good luck with your journey!

Salamualaikum,

I wanted to share a little thought today on my experience with putting restrictions on ourselves (and devices) to help with this addiction.

I know one of the first advice that people give is to lock ourselves out of our phones and give up all sorts of screen time. In my experience, I have been to the extreme of completely blocking the browser on my phone and laptop, leaving me with no real way of using the web. Thing is that this never worked in the long run.

Ive got two reasons why I think that this always ended in failure for me. Firstly, in today’s world, fully locking yourself out of your phone can lead to boredom or anxiety that is a common trigger. Secondly, staying clean is a result of good discipline, it is not a game of how air tight your restrictions on your phone are. I have been on plenty of long runs without any restrictions on my phone.

To qualify this, I do need to explain that I still got rid of some apps (Instagram being the first) that were definitely not going to help me in staying clean. I feel like over restricting is like creating a house of cards, once something going wrong in life, you get ready to break it all down because your foundation was not built on discipline, rather an algorithm. I believe if we are honest with ourselves, we know not to click on THAT youtube video or watch THAT movie. There are subtleties to triggers, not always vile content/thumbnails.

Let me know what you guys think and about your experience. I ask because I know some have had great experiences with restrictions, or maybe some that share mine?

As always, my goal is to take it one day at a time. With that, I will see you guys tomorrow inshallah. E

I feel ashamed and disgusted of myself and i want to solve this problem religiously. I watch it every 2weeks- 1month and i want to stop and stay close to allah. I've been praying since i was 6 and dont want to be sinful . Please any help would be appreciated.

I'm looking to partner up for the month of November and hopefully beyond. If that sounds interesting to you and if you're up for the task of quitting together let me know and let's go and smash the next month!

Salam,

I’ve been struggling to get rid of this horrible habit for a while, and always fail. My goal is to last the entire November with no PMO, but it will be very difficult considering I always fail after a few days.

My question is: are there any professional recovery programs for this addiction aimed at Muslims? I don’t care about the price, but I think having some sort of professional rehab would really help me and many others. Does anyone know of such a service?

Al-Salamuliakum,

I've listened to this video and found it to be extremely beneficial. Please have a listen, I see a lot of posts about looking for tips and advice and this is a thorough discussion on this topic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsqCHk9rQZs

Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatulllahi wa barakatuh.

Welcome back to our journey, I've been posting regularly as a way to keep myself accountable but also to benefit others inshallah. Today, we’re diving into an essential part of our journey towards excellence as Muslims: how Salah (prayer) can help us overcome bad habits and sins. We all face challenges, we all have habits we wish we could break, but the beauty of our faith is that we’re given practical tools to change and improve.

• 1. Recognizing the Power of Salah

First, let’s talk about what Salah really means in our lives. In the Qur'an, Allah says, “Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing…” (29:45). This verse is a reminder that prayer isn’t just a ritual, it’s a way of life. It has the power to steer us away from harmful actions and help us develop a stronger, more disciplined self.

When we’re regular in our prayers, we’re constantly reminding ourselves of Allah’s presence. This mindfulness makes us more aware of our actions, helping us to resist impulses that lead to sin.

• 2. Developing Consistency (Istiqamah)

Consistency, or istiqamah, in prayer is critical. It’s easy to pray once in a while and then fall off. But when we commit to praying five times daily, we build discipline and resilience. Allah says in Surah Maryam, “And he used to enjoin on his people prayer and Zakat and was to his Lord pleasing.” (19:55).

This verse shows us the importance of establishing regular, heartfelt prayer. Just as in overcoming a bad habit, the consistency of prayer strengthens us. By being punctual and committed, we cultivate a lifestyle that naturally repels sinful behaviors."

• 3. Repentance and Renewal Through Prayer

Salah is also a time for repentance. Allah tells us in Surah Al-Furqan, “Except for those who repent, believe, and do righteous work. For them, Allah will replace their evil deeds with good.” (25:70). Each time we pray, we have a chance to renew our intentions, seek forgiveness, and ask for help in breaking away from negative actions.

It’s empowering to know that we’re never alone in this journey. Every time we bow down in prayer, we’re not only asking for strength but also for mercy and guidance.

• 4. Seeking Help Through Salah and Patience

Allah encourages us in the Qur'an, “Seek help through patience and prayer.” (2:45). This is important because breaking a bad habit or resisting sin isn’t easy—it requires patience. When we rely on Salah, we’re seeking divine support, which is far more powerful than trying to overcome challenges on our own.

When we face temptations, it’s a reminder to turn to Allah in prayer. This shift in focus can help us avoid giving in to harmful habits.

Conclusion (with Action Points)

To sum it up, here are some steps you can start with today:

1. Make prayer a priority- Ensure your prayers are consistent, and remember each prayer is an opportunity for growth.
2. Focus on the quality of your Salah - Concentrate, and be sincere. This mindfulness will help you carry these values outside of prayer.
3. Use each prayer as a moment of renewal - Intend to overcome your weaknesses and seek Allah’s help.
4. Remember patience and dua*- Allah’s support comes through patience and prayer, so keep asking, keep striving, and keep relying on Him.

With the help of Allah, every habit can be overcome. Remember that your journey is valuable, and each prayer brings you closer to the person you’re meant to be. Thank you for reading, and may Allah help us all on this path.

Links:

Youtube

Tiktok

Instagram

Assalamu Alaykum Brothers,

Here is a youtube channel of a brother to give you motivation for permanent change by reading surah baqarah and continuously doing istighfar. I encourage you to delve into more of his videos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coFJ47mAHRM

Salaam all,

What works in building that connection back with Allah?

I feel like when youre in this vicious cycle of relapse the connection with Allah becomes so weak.

Can anyone who is going through this, or has techniques to overcome this share their tips?

I'm looking to make a dua journal to create a holistic solution to this. I want to reflect on the blessings I have, reflect on the conversations I have with Allah, reflect in real time how my duas are being answered.

I think the issue with this type of addiction is that it holds so much weight in our lives - as with any addiction. But what if i increase the weight of my blessings - what if i increase the reflection of blessings to out-weigh the desire?

Would I feel less inclined to look at p when i'm becoming more concious of my interactions with Allah?

Sorry for the long post...just trying to explore a holistic solution.

I have had possibly my best month ever since I got into this bad habit, only a few this whole month! But I can't stop feeling guilty even though I have seeked repentance already. I need advice on how to stop feeling guilty can someone help me.

Asalamualikum,

Today I wanted to share my experience with self talk. All too often I have noticed that using porn has been a coping mechanism for me; to cope from feeling inadequate.

I have noticed in that past that I have been very harsh on myself everytime I make a mistake. The cycle of self sabotage, keeps one from going back to porn for comfort.

If I can leave you (and myself) with some advice today, it’s to be kinder to yourself. You are human and imperfect. Balance the constant pursuit of being better with reasonably accepting when you screw up. As much as it sounds like it, I’m barely talking about relapsing here, just life in general. Let me know what you guys think.

As usual, my goal remains the same, is to make it to the next day. See you tomorrow inshallah.

In this post I have compiled the list of all the Tools & Protocols that allowed to get a 1000+ Day. This list contains over 6 years of research that has been simplified so you can take actionable steps now.

1. Diet

Problem:

Diet is a huge influence on cravings and impulse control. Junk food, especially fast food, spikes dopamine, making it harder to resist cravings for other high-dopamine activities.

Solution:

Choose the healthiest food you can access, and consider adding fasting to your routine. Fasting has been a game-changer for me; I found it easier to get past the 1-week mark and noticed a major improvement in my longest streaks. If fasting isn’t possible, try out a ketogenic diet for steadier energy and reduced cravings.

Pro Tip: Fasting can even help rewire your brain faster, boosting neuroplasticity.

2. Routine

Problem:

Without a structured routine, you’re more likely to feel bored or rely on your mood to dictate your actions. This can lead to impulsive choices and make it tough to resist instant gratification.

Solution:

Create a routine for yourself. Structure your day so that every hour has a purpose, filling your time with productive activities that replace the dopamine you might be craving. Free time often leads to impulsive behaviors, so use your routine to channel your energy productively.

3. Modify Your Environment

Problem:

Our surroundings play a huge role in triggering cravings. If you watch porn in your room, in your bed, on a particular device or using a particular app. Then all these things seemingly harmless things can create urges when you come in contact with them.

Solution:

Consider changing the layout of your space or removing triggers altogether. . If you watch porn when you’re alone in your room, make that space feel different—perhaps by rearranging furniture, adding sceneries, changing your desktop wallpaper, changing to light/dark theme etc . These small changes can significantly impact your ability to resist cravings.

4. Sleep Optimization

Problem:

Most people relapse at night in their bed when they cannot fall asleep or have a poor sleep schedule that makes them stay up at night. In my opinion you need to shorten the nights by sleeping early and expand your days by getting up early. But fixing sleep schedule can be a pain.

Solution:

To optimize your sleep, work on aligning your biological clock (circadian rhythm). Two big ways to regulate your clock:

1. Get sunlight exposure early in the day and avoid bright lights at night.
2. Maintain consistent eating and fasting times every day.

5. Change Your Identity

Problem:

Years of using porn when you are bored or stressed, or in pain has now made it the default response of your body. As soon as these feelings hit, your body jumps towards porn to feel good. You subconsciously believe that porn is part of who you are and have always been.

Solution:

You need to break this pattern by believing that you are not the type of person who watches porn. You need to accept stress and boredom and teach yourself that you are not someone who uses porn as a crutch. You have to develop mindfulness to be able to recognize how your are feeling and why you are feeling so. This can be done by journaling, daily affirmations & meditation.

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatulllahi wa barakatuh,

The Prophet Muhammad SAW said:

“The strong man is not the good wrestler, but the strong man is he who controls himself when he is angry.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6114, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2609

Here are links for the video insha'Allah you find it beneficial:

Tiktok

YouTube

Instagram

At 29th living like I’m 12

Just pure frustration, what is wrong with me? I’ve been making goals to excel in different parts of my life but I keep failing and just do bare minimum! So frustrated being a loser.

I’m near 30 with very little to show for, doing odd jobs, no savings, in debt, pmo, no solid career just pure misery day by day, no social life, spending everyday in my room laying or eating. Family is frustrated with me to see rotting away daily.

Living a meaningless life

Hey I am revert who was active before. How do you stop fantasizing? Or wanting that sin again? I read that the only way is too get married but I’m still in school and afraid I’m too young.

Are there any sisters here who can offer advice?

I never struggled with watching filth before but now I find myself watching it every other day.

The guilt takes over because now I’m Muslim and know better. But my mind wanders back to it.

i have an addiction to p and masterbation and i also have ocd and they got really bad. I'm in my last year of highschool (i guess this is what it is called in english) anyway it's the last year that will determine which college i will go to and i'm further and further from allah because of this sin and my time is really narrow all i want is duaa make alot duaa for me brothers. I will make a dua for myself and for those who are struggling with same matter. and remember this hadith:

Usamah bin Zaid (May Allah be pleased with them) reported:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "I am not leaving behind me a more harmful trial for men than women".

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

وعن أسامة بن زيد رضي الله عنهما عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال‏:‏ ‏ "‏ ما تركت بعدي فتنة هي أضر على الرجال من النساء‏"‏ ‏(‏‏(‏متفق عليه‏)‏‏)‏‏.‏

Reference : Riyad as-Salihin 288

In-book reference : Introduction, Hadith 288

This past year I feel like I’ve made so much progress but at the same time I feel pathetic by how bad I do sometimes, I feel like I need a good support system and someone to talk to about these things but I’m pretty bad at making friends and never really feel comfortable with people so I kinda gave up with talking to people about it outside of those I’m already close to but I really need to do well so I want to try again.

I’m a guy who is 21 and lives in Britain, and I’d love to have more people who I feel like I can talk to about these things and to help motivate each other:(

I'm over a month clean. I have similar streaks before but this was the hardest, struggling with urges, compulsiveness. I tried looking at root causes, changing my routine, the way I use internet and it's been a struggle but I think this method might work best. Before I simply abstaining without trying to fix anything.

Now the advice, my nikah is planned for February if everything goes to plan. I want to how long does it take for me to be free from this, I want to be cured before marriage and intimacy. Scared my desires will come up in the bedroom. One thing is that Nikah is February but we won't actually move in together then so there's more time.

Any advice from married brothers.

I need some advice on how to control my desires and how I can stop the urge, I feel everytime I have a bad day or smth bad happens i get the urge to go and watch girls and filth I really want this to stop and I want to Able to control myself and be able to stop all this and go back to being able to read Quran comfortably for an hour or two and keep up with all my daily prayers

Asslamu alaikum, Due to constant years of watching corn and pmo i have lost all my imaahn belief strength taqwa and fear.I literally don’t from where to regain or how i can start from the scratch. Its like i have start build up all my belief from zero.What is the simplest way to regain all those which had when i was a child now? Its like my heart is fully darkened with black dots and ink.💔

Going strong and it has been day 5, however I had nocturnal emission last night without any sexual dream. I believe it’s different and less damaging than masturbation, but trying my best to not even have nocturnal emission and get rid of this sin forever and leave it behind for good!

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

I hope all the brothers are well ان شاء الله. I wanted some advice. I am currently 25 yrs old and this disgusting habit started when I was roughly 11. It’s been such a long time this filth has dug so deep in my head. I’m currently on day 7 of my streak. The longest I’ve ever gone is 14 days. I’m seeking advice + hope for the future.

I can no longer get erections from normal women only the screen. Is there any hope in the future for me to live a normal loving marriage without it ever affecting my future spouse? And is there a timeline? My family want me to get married to a girl on the next few months, I’m unsure whether to go through with it or not.

Pls give me any advice on what to do and if there is any hope.