Assalamu Alaykum Brothers,

Here is a youtube channel of a brother to give you motivation for permanent change by reading surah baqarah and continuously doing istighfar. I encourage you to delve into more of his videos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coFJ47mAHRM

Salaam all,

What works in building that connection back with Allah?

I feel like when youre in this vicious cycle of relapse the connection with Allah becomes so weak.

Can anyone who is going through this, or has techniques to overcome this share their tips?

I'm looking to make a dua journal to create a holistic solution to this. I want to reflect on the blessings I have, reflect on the conversations I have with Allah, reflect in real time how my duas are being answered.

I think the issue with this type of addiction is that it holds so much weight in our lives - as with any addiction. But what if i increase the weight of my blessings - what if i increase the reflection of blessings to out-weigh the desire?

Would I feel less inclined to look at p when i'm becoming more concious of my interactions with Allah?

Sorry for the long post...just trying to explore a holistic solution.

I have had possibly my best month ever since I got into this bad habit, only a few this whole month! But I can't stop feeling guilty even though I have seeked repentance already. I need advice on how to stop feeling guilty can someone help me.

Asalamualikum,

Today I wanted to share my experience with self talk. All too often I have noticed that using porn has been a coping mechanism for me; to cope from feeling inadequate.

I have noticed in that past that I have been very harsh on myself everytime I make a mistake. The cycle of self sabotage, keeps one from going back to porn for comfort.

If I can leave you (and myself) with some advice today, it’s to be kinder to yourself. You are human and imperfect. Balance the constant pursuit of being better with reasonably accepting when you screw up. As much as it sounds like it, I’m barely talking about relapsing here, just life in general. Let me know what you guys think.

As usual, my goal remains the same, is to make it to the next day. See you tomorrow inshallah.

In this post I have compiled the list of all the Tools & Protocols that allowed to get a 1000+ Day. This list contains over 6 years of research that has been simplified so you can take actionable steps now.

1. Diet

Problem:

Diet is a huge influence on cravings and impulse control. Junk food, especially fast food, spikes dopamine, making it harder to resist cravings for other high-dopamine activities.

Solution:

Choose the healthiest food you can access, and consider adding fasting to your routine. Fasting has been a game-changer for me; I found it easier to get past the 1-week mark and noticed a major improvement in my longest streaks. If fasting isn’t possible, try out a ketogenic diet for steadier energy and reduced cravings.

Pro Tip: Fasting can even help rewire your brain faster, boosting neuroplasticity.

2. Routine

Problem:

Without a structured routine, you’re more likely to feel bored or rely on your mood to dictate your actions. This can lead to impulsive choices and make it tough to resist instant gratification.

Solution:

Create a routine for yourself. Structure your day so that every hour has a purpose, filling your time with productive activities that replace the dopamine you might be craving. Free time often leads to impulsive behaviors, so use your routine to channel your energy productively.

3. Modify Your Environment

Problem:

Our surroundings play a huge role in triggering cravings. If you watch porn in your room, in your bed, on a particular device or using a particular app. Then all these things seemingly harmless things can create urges when you come in contact with them.

Solution:

Consider changing the layout of your space or removing triggers altogether. . If you watch porn when you’re alone in your room, make that space feel different—perhaps by rearranging furniture, adding sceneries, changing your desktop wallpaper, changing to light/dark theme etc . These small changes can significantly impact your ability to resist cravings.

4. Sleep Optimization

Problem:

Most people relapse at night in their bed when they cannot fall asleep or have a poor sleep schedule that makes them stay up at night. In my opinion you need to shorten the nights by sleeping early and expand your days by getting up early. But fixing sleep schedule can be a pain.

Solution:

To optimize your sleep, work on aligning your biological clock (circadian rhythm). Two big ways to regulate your clock:

1. Get sunlight exposure early in the day and avoid bright lights at night.
2. Maintain consistent eating and fasting times every day.

5. Change Your Identity

Problem:

Years of using porn when you are bored or stressed, or in pain has now made it the default response of your body. As soon as these feelings hit, your body jumps towards porn to feel good. You subconsciously believe that porn is part of who you are and have always been.

Solution:

You need to break this pattern by believing that you are not the type of person who watches porn. You need to accept stress and boredom and teach yourself that you are not someone who uses porn as a crutch. You have to develop mindfulness to be able to recognize how your are feeling and why you are feeling so. This can be done by journaling, daily affirmations & meditation.

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatulllahi wa barakatuh,

The Prophet Muhammad SAW said:

“The strong man is not the good wrestler, but the strong man is he who controls himself when he is angry.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6114, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2609

Here are links for the video insha'Allah you find it beneficial:

Tiktok

YouTube

Instagram

At 29th living like I’m 12

Just pure frustration, what is wrong with me? I’ve been making goals to excel in different parts of my life but I keep failing and just do bare minimum! So frustrated being a loser.

I’m near 30 with very little to show for, doing odd jobs, no savings, in debt, pmo, no solid career just pure misery day by day, no social life, spending everyday in my room laying or eating. Family is frustrated with me to see rotting away daily.

Living a meaningless life

Hey I am revert who was active before. How do you stop fantasizing? Or wanting that sin again? I read that the only way is too get married but I’m still in school and afraid I’m too young.

Are there any sisters here who can offer advice?

I never struggled with watching filth before but now I find myself watching it every other day.

The guilt takes over because now I’m Muslim and know better. But my mind wanders back to it.

It's taking a long time for me to accept my decision and fate that I will probably and definitely will remain single and virgin till I die, but the acceptance process is slowly happening by the will of Allah Alhamdulilah (before anyone asks, it's my own personal decision to remain single).

I'm sorry again for venting and making a post about this. I won't post again for a long time, that I can promise you by Allah.

I've been constantly sad that I don't get girls in university, haven't gotten any in my life and never will have any girl, especially the type of girls that I like. It just hits hard and depressing when you hear and see other people enjoying intimacy, doing sexual stuff, romantic stuff. It's even more frustrating when you can't do any of that right now.

But now I'm starting to slowly internalize and realize that I'm not meant to have any of that. I don't mean to claim that I'm the Messiah or some prophesied warrior sent by God to save humanity, but I truly believe that Allah hasn't created me for this stuff. Intimacy, sex, romance and all this stuff is for normal human beings; I'm not a normal human being. I'm not created for this, I'm created for more lofty purpose in life. These things aren't meant for me. I'm just built different.

Yes I constantly keep going back to my old state of my nafs not accepting this frustration, but I constantly ask Allah for help in Tahajjud and dhikr.

I know this is delulu pro max, but delulu is always the solulu or whatever these kids say these days.

I will go now, thanks for tolerating my whining and venting everyone. May Allah bless us in this world and the hereafter. Wallahi I will actually not post again for a while, so be assured I'm not lying.

i have an addiction to p and masterbation and i also have ocd and they got really bad. I'm in my last year of highschool (i guess this is what it is called in english) anyway it's the last year that will determine which college i will go to and i'm further and further from allah because of this sin and my time is really narrow all i want is duaa make alot duaa for me brothers. I will make a dua for myself and for those who are struggling with same matter. and remember this hadith:

Usamah bin Zaid (May Allah be pleased with them) reported:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "I am not leaving behind me a more harmful trial for men than women".

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

وعن أسامة بن زيد رضي الله عنهما عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال‏:‏ ‏ "‏ ما تركت بعدي فتنة هي أضر على الرجال من النساء‏"‏ ‏(‏‏(‏متفق عليه‏)‏‏)‏‏.‏

Reference : Riyad as-Salihin 288

In-book reference : Introduction, Hadith 288

This past year I feel like I’ve made so much progress but at the same time I feel pathetic by how bad I do sometimes, I feel like I need a good support system and someone to talk to about these things but I’m pretty bad at making friends and never really feel comfortable with people so I kinda gave up with talking to people about it outside of those I’m already close to but I really need to do well so I want to try again.

I’m a guy who is 21 and lives in Britain, and I’d love to have more people who I feel like I can talk to about these things and to help motivate each other:(

I'm over a month clean. I have similar streaks before but this was the hardest, struggling with urges, compulsiveness. I tried looking at root causes, changing my routine, the way I use internet and it's been a struggle but I think this method might work best. Before I simply abstaining without trying to fix anything.

Now the advice, my nikah is planned for February if everything goes to plan. I want to how long does it take for me to be free from this, I want to be cured before marriage and intimacy. Scared my desires will come up in the bedroom. One thing is that Nikah is February but we won't actually move in together then so there's more time.

Any advice from married brothers.

Assalamu Alaykum brothers,

I'm making this post because I realized that I should share with you all about how by the grace of Allah, I have been completely rid of this addiction. However, my journey wasn't easy when it began. This addiction was deep rooted in me from the age of 11 to the age of 24. I think a big factor in this issue is the monster you make it out to be in your head. When we make it something bigger than it is, we are essentially worshipping the sin. I don't think I did anything special, by the grace of Allah, I began practicing more strictly and it automatically disappeared. Our beautiful religion and deen has safe measures through the quran and sunnah that prevent us from delving into our desires. The more we get closer to the sunnah of the Prophet (SAWS) and the more we learn about Allah and who he truly is, the less we will even want to sin.

A tip I'd like you all to follow is to remove yourself from these reddit groups and even delete reddit altogether. You might think these groups are helping, but in reality they are just reminding you of this life you live and giving you relief that other people also fall into it so you think it is ok. Instead, I ask that you busy yourself with the deen through Salat and through seeking knowledge. There's not enough time in the day to truly learn about our beautiful deen, so why should we waste this precious time that we've been given on these harmful matters.

If you would like more personal advice, I'd be happy to answer any questions you have via DM.

I need some advice on how to control my desires and how I can stop the urge, I feel everytime I have a bad day or smth bad happens i get the urge to go and watch girls and filth I really want this to stop and I want to Able to control myself and be able to stop all this and go back to being able to read Quran comfortably for an hour or two and keep up with all my daily prayers

Asslamu alaikum, Due to constant years of watching corn and pmo i have lost all my imaahn belief strength taqwa and fear.I literally don’t from where to regain or how i can start from the scratch. Its like i have start build up all my belief from zero.What is the simplest way to regain all those which had when i was a child now? Its like my heart is fully darkened with black dots and ink.💔

Going strong and it has been day 5, however I had nocturnal emission last night without any sexual dream. I believe it’s different and less damaging than masturbation, but trying my best to not even have nocturnal emission and get rid of this sin forever and leave it behind for good!

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

I hope all the brothers are well ان شاء الله. I wanted some advice. I am currently 25 yrs old and this disgusting habit started when I was roughly 11. It’s been such a long time this filth has dug so deep in my head. I’m currently on day 7 of my streak. The longest I’ve ever gone is 14 days. I’m seeking advice + hope for the future.

I can no longer get erections from normal women only the screen. Is there any hope in the future for me to live a normal loving marriage without it ever affecting my future spouse? And is there a timeline? My family want me to get married to a girl on the next few months, I’m unsure whether to go through with it or not.

Pls give me any advice on what to do and if there is any hope.

Asalamualikum, Everyone.

I hope to use this sub as a way to log my journey, share my thoughts and learn from others here. I am getting married soon inshallah (dont worry I told my fiancée about my struggles quite early). I have had good success in the past with longer streaks but have been struggling a little more as of late. Before I get ahead of myself talking about lofty goals and promising to never fall back into the same pattern, my goal for now is simple, is to make it to tomorrow, see you guys then.

I hope everyone in this sub is able to be free of this addiction inshallah.

At this point I think a therapist would be of great value.

But I fear that by me going to a therapist, I'm commit bigger sin where I'm putting my Trust in a human being instead of putting my Trust in Allah (توكل على الله)

So is it of benefit or harm at this point cuz I've been trying to quit PMO for literally 7 years now and I can't seem to succeed.

Going strong, was scrolling through instagram as soon I saw some nudity I turned off my phone which gave me some urge but I came over it, and going strong! I am never going back to this SIN ever again

Enough is enough! That's not right! Mark the date 29/10/2024, 11:11 AM last time I fapped - my new birth! What are we wasting? It's a life energy! That's not right! Stop it! Stop it! It's a matter of a few years after you get married. You'll eventually get there. There's no need to speed up things. Right things take time. Save this energy for your after-marriage life. It will be so much more beautiful!

It feels insane, I literally can’t concentrate on anything and it affects how I feel mentally too. I’ve tried fasting and everything, regularly read/study Quran and I still struggle so much. I’ve genuinely thought about getting parts of me removed so I don’t have to deal with this anymore. I’d rather not get married and have kids than commit anymore haram.

Asalamwalaikum warahmatullah my brothers. I'm not on here much so forgive me but I wanted to jump on today and share something that really helped to quit this addiction by the tawfeeq of Allah.

Having a mission changes everything.

We all need a mission in this life. Sure we know that our purpose is to worship Allah but don't forget that we all need a mission in our lives. Especially as men (this applies for women as well but I would say in a completely different way). Think about the prophets PBUT, they all had the same collective purpose but each had their specific mission assigned to them. The same applies for all of us.

This is something that I realized after becoming muslim because when I was in the process of quitting before converting, I knew this but the problem was that I thought my mission WAS my purpose and that it was the end all be all. After becoming muslim, I realized that it wasn't my purpose but just my mission and that my mission can and probably will change multiple times within my life but that my true purpose would always remain the same.

Anyway, to tie it all together, when we lack purpose and/or a mission in our lives, we become lost. You tell me what happens when you're in that state. That purpose and mission give life meaning and direction. Without it, we will wander aimlessly, constantly relapsing and never being able to make any progress within our lives. Hence why so many still struggle years later.

TAKE THIS AS YOUR SIGN.

Make sure that everyday is aligned with your purpose as a muslim and that you have a mission in your life which requires massive input/output. So much so where relapsing isn't even something that you consider anymore.

And what should your mission be? Well that's up to you. Reflect on that and apply it in your life ASAP so that way you can experience what I am saying for yourself inshaAllah.

May Allah allow this to benefit you as much as it did for me and the hundreds of other brothers that Allah has allowed me to help along the way🤲

(P.S. I've had many people reaching out asking for help on how to quit and if I could be their accountability partner through this. Wallah, I don't as much time as I once used to when it comes to helping so many 1 on 1 like I used to. To make up for that lost time, I try to make videos or posts to help out whenever I can. I also put together everything I know on how to quit p*rn once and for all, within a community where we do live group calls each week to answer any questions and dial in for real results. If you're ready to take that next step, click here and I'll see you over there inshaAllah)

After avoiding masturbation and 1 year and gradually not doing it was the best feeling ever. But recently I had been surrounded by sexual thoughts, extreme urges, porn and masturbation. But it has been 3 days I have avoided any sexual thoughts, nude pics, videos and not looking at women to avoid any sexual thoughts. I will keep going and leave this sin behind forever.

I work over 50 hours a week so free time is very valuable to me. Yesterday I had a free house for two hours and, excitedly I planned a great halal time for myself at home alone and vowed not to relapse.

Lo and behold, within minutes I was watched p***. It was only in the process of carrying out the evil act that I remembered how pure my initial intentions where and how I’ve ended up wasting so much time doing something I truly hate myself for doing. As a one off instance it’s bad enough, but think about over the years how many hours you’ve wasted on this addiction and how many great moments you’ve missed out on.

Make sure to lower volume/sound.

https://youtu.be/MN43opaJcoQ?si=PEHwmHwmJ4uQwTlz

Make sure to lower volume/sound.

There is a second video under the two Hadiths regarding managing Righteosness/Eman/Faith(increase/decrease) and matters related to that subject which can also help in staying away from Sins.

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حَدَّثَنَا مَحْمُودُ بْنُ غَيْلاَنَ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو دَاوُدَ، قَالَ أَنْبَأَنَا شُعْبَةُ، عَنْ أَبِي إِسْحَاقَ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَبَا الأَحْوَصِ، يُحَدِّثُ عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم كَانَ يَدْعُو ‏ "‏ اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ الْهُدَى وَالتُّقَى وَالْعَفَافَ وَالْغِنَى ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ ‏.‏

`Abdullah narrated that: the Prophet (ﷺ) used to supplicate: “O Allah, indeed, I ask You for guidance, piety, chastity, and sufficiency (Allāhumma innī as’alukal-hudā wat-tuqā, wal-`afāfa wal-ghinā).”

Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3489

Chapter 72: The Supplication: “O Allah, Indeed, I Ask You For Guidance, Piety, Chastity, and Sufficiency”, Book 48: Chapters on Supplication

Grade: Sahih (Darussalam)

https://sunnah.com/tirmidhi:3489

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حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُثَنَّى، وَمُحَمَّدُ بْنُ بَشَّارٍ، قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ جَعْفَرٍ، حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، عَنْ أَبِي مَسْلَمَةَ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَبَا نَضْرَةَ، يُحَدِّثُ عَنْ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ الْخُدْرِيِّ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏"‏ إِنَّ الدُّنْيَا حُلْوَةٌ خَضِرَةٌ وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ مُسْتَخْلِفُكُمْ فِيهَا فَيَنْظُرُ كَيْفَ تَعْمَلُونَ فَاتَّقُوا الدُّنْيَا وَاتَّقُوا النِّسَاءَ فَإِنَّ أَوَّلَ فِتْنَةِ بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ كَانَتْ فِي النِّسَاءِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ وَفِي حَدِيثِ ابْنِ بَشَّارٍ ‏"‏ لِيَنْظُرَ كَيْفَ تَعْمَلُونَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

Abu Sa'id Khudri reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: The world is sweet and green (alluring) and verily Allah is going to install you as vicegerent in it in order to see how you act. So avoid the allurement of women: verily, the first trial for the people of Isra'il was caused by women. And in the hadith transmitted on the authority of Ibn Bashshar the words are: " So that He should see how you act."

Sahih Muslim 2742

Chapter 1: "Most Of The People Of Paradise Are Poor, And Most Of The Inhabitants Of The Fire Are Women, And The Fitnah Of Women", Book 49: The Book of Heart-Melting Traditions

https://sunnah.com/muslim:2742

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Here is a video that can help with managing Righteousness/Faith/Eman:

https://youtu.be/H-_h6IhNQaM?si=GaAEXJvNtY7ayNKe

stopped for 1 month then relapsed right now. i feel very bad. can a muslim brother please dm. let’s not lie to each other oh brother in islam and let’s keep each other in check everyday inshallah. may allah the almighty forgive us

Hii i started this challenge 7 days ago on this time and since then i didn't watched porn or has masturbated or didn't even peeked on porn a little I am glad to achieve such a milestone as this habit is quite a challenge for me to be honest

On day 6 i noticed a headache not just a mild one a severe one and its been with me while i am writing this on day 7 completed but i didn't given up on me yet as i have dealt with past habits of smoking and all (i quitted smoking)

I guess what everyone lacks is his own willpower i never really much of a solo guy until i learned that all you have to do is push yourself see my dad used to push himself everyday by risking in business and that made me learn that headaches,stress,tension is good thing you should take all that and push yourself into becoming the best version of yourself

I am writing cause if anyone want support they can dm me and i myself being a hardcore addicted porn and masturbation guy i think this will be my last time and will continue on my journey to become a better version of myself

The week was very tough cause everytime i just used to drown myself in work and forgot about it but not this time i keep reminding myself everyday that i have to quit and every time i fail i only used the motto that never quit as my dad never quited on himself cause there would be one time where i would not know and it would be my last time

Soo congratulations to myself and i hope everyone who reads this find the person inside that our parents wants to become and i will be seeing you next week😊

Thanks for all the advice previously, it has helped and motivated me not to look at the filth. Really really hoping to get back on the track and never deviated from it once for all!