I got into Tiktok during quarantine in 2020 and fell in with the so-called "woke" crowd. I even convinced myself I was non-binary (not identifying as either gender and going by they/them pronouns). I stayed clean-shaven, grew out my hair and generally tried to appear androgynous. I never went so far as thinking I was meant to be born a woman, but there were things about being a man I didn't want to accept.

Primarily that being a man means I'm expendable. Things like "women and children first" and the fact that it's men who fight and die in war always used to bother me. Having a way to avoid the burdens of manhood seemed appealing, plus I was never very identified with traditional masculinity in the first place.

I reverted to islam 4 months ago (I had been interested in the religion and convinced of it for some time before that, but seeing how the faith of the Palestinian was inspiring so many others to revert, I had to ask myself why I hadn't already)

I'm no longer associate with that old ideology. I no longer identify as nonbinary, I am a MAN. There are only 2 genders. We are all either one or the other and we don't get go choose or change ours. I started to embrace my masculinity. I stopped shaving my face, I started working out.

We should all learn to be proud of our gender. I was upset about being expendable as a man, but when I truly think about it logically, it makes sense and seems fair. I can't carry and birth a baby. I can't nurse a baby. Women have their duties and I have mine. When I think of all the rights and privileges I have as a man, both in society and in islam, being expendable doesn't seem that bad. It seems like a fair trade-off.

I'm sure women are also dissatisfied with their gender, be it how society treats them or for the burdens of childbearing, but their ability usher new souls into the world with their bodies is a truly miraculous aspect of their creation and it incentivizes societies to value their physical safety or that of males. That's why women and children take priority in a crisis, that's why men fight and die in wars. It's a trade-off.

Nothing about this dunya is perfect. Both genders will experience thinking the grass is greener on the other side, but they both have their pros and cons. As imperfect as it is, it's fair because it's from Allah.

I'm currently going through a really tough predicament where it revolves around racial differences In Islam where I can't be with this person I'm friends (We are not dating)  with because of my skin color (I am Darkskin) even though I've been learning about Islam and willing to convert. We are slowly trying our best to come up with ideas to have her parents have a change of heart. Is there anything that we could do or say in order to make her parents think differently? If so, then what is it?
(Her parents are Shia Muslims)

Ok so just came across this guy and it’s kind of creepy no doubt!

My question is: is it haram to watch these exorcism type videos that are “exposing” Illuminati, one world order etc?

All my money is in my chequing account. I want to create a savings account but there’s interest in those so obviously that would be haram. I heard it’s not good to keep a lot of money in your chequing account and it should only be two months of expenses and then the rest should be in a savings account. Where / how do you keep your money?

Assalamu Alaikum Brothers and Sisters in Islam,

Recently my friend got me into a YouTuber called “Sinder” her videos are fun but being a VTuber I decided to check with you all. Jazakallah

My reason for asking this is the way she dresses, and the context of her Merch, etc

Salam Alaikum

Salam everyone!

My husband and I are expecting our second son, aH, and we need help with name suggestions. My husband really wants to have another “A” name and have it rhyme with our first son, Alyaan. If anyone has any suggestions, please leave them down below! We are open to not just A names, but it’s just a preference, our main focus is that it’s a beautiful name and Islamic.

Salam Alaykum, I would consider myself spiritual because I enjoy doing things that bring me closer to Allah (SWT).

Most recently, I noticed that I feel depressed for the period of time that I can’t pray due to unclean state. My mood is always super low and I deeply crave the connection that I have with Allah during sujood. It’s a vacuum that I can’t explain. However, once I resume prayers again after illness/ menses I feel whole again. Is this normal?

Has anyone else experienced this? What can I do about it?

Making this long distance relationship halal?

Asalamu alaykoum wara7matuallah brothers and sisters. I am a young student and currently completing a 5-year-long degree (currently in my second year) and recently connected with a brother online who lives on the other side of the world, and is in a similar situation to me. Alhamdulillah we are both on our deen and feel as if we are compatible with one another, all of our conversations have remained respectful and have not deviated from getting to know each other and getting this situation to work between us. From what we know of each other we are both willing/planning to get married to each other; As we both value our deen we want to do things in the halal way we want a comprehensive action plan to allow for this to be a relationship that pleases Allah and is halal! I recently attended a marriage course and from it, I concluded that we do as follows:

1. Make sure that we are attracted to each other, as for the marriage to flourish and be functional you need to be attracted to your spouse. In a way you need to be attracted to your spouse to fulfil your deen as a spouse

2. communicate our expectations, deal breakers and what we are willing to compromise on, by doing this it assesses firstly the level of deen, as most of us will have high expectations on deen that will be communicated inchallah through the expectations and deal breakers. As well as other aspects being evaluated, such as lifestyle expectations etc

3. Important questions: this I feel is very important because asking questions is essential to understanding a person's behaviours, how they would react in situations, and what future plans with this person will look like. We will be choosing my questions from a 250-question marriage questionnaire which highlights questions that must be asked before marriage!

Inchallah if we are both happy with the answers we provide we will start praying istikhara, then get our parents in touch. If everything goes easily then we will proceed with doing a nikkah in our national country, when our university holidays align, then do the walimah after we finish our university studies inchallah.

I have posted this here to receive feedback on this “action plan” I think it's the best way to do it given the “long distance” situation between us, and I would rather know if the person is completely compatible by using the “action plan” then involve parents as you want to be able to present a comprehensive description of that person to your parents for them to examine before accepting them.

If you could provide feedback on my plan, please tell me and recommend suggestions on how to make it more halal or better in general!

Jazakallahu khayran

Does anyone else have mothers suffering from mental illness but refuse to go get psychiatric help, and then they spend their entire day worrying that their husband is cheating on them?

My mom is diagnosed with anxiety, refuses to take her medication. All day she sits and stares at my father’s location on her phone, texting him threats and accusing him of cheating on her. Meanwhile my father is just trying to go to work and come home and relax. He did some bad things during my childhood but he’s trying to better himself, but my mother can’t accept this and just thinks he’s lying all the time.

I don’t need advice on how to help her. I know what to do, but she refuses to help compliant. I would rather focus on my education. I just want to know if other people can relate. A friend of mine told me her mother does the same thing, I’m wondering how many other Muslim mothers do this too.

I am 27 years old and just ust got laid off a job I really liked, i thought i was gonna work there for many years and it was one of the only jobs i didnt dread getting up in the morning for.

I have had so many emotions and have been extremely depressed, i have been wondering whether this is a punishment or just a test. I got laid off once before a few years back and had similar emotions.

I have been hiding how I really feel because i dont want my wife to be upset or worry. Should i open up to her about everything im feeling? How should i handle this layoff? It’s getting harder each day to hide how I really feel

It's difficult to resist these feelings, and I know it's not right. I acknowledge that my own sexual frustration and lack ofself-control are making the situation even more challenging for me.

These days I feel like I’m just going through the motions with no desire to be in this Dunya anymore (I don’t have any plans to act out on dark thoughts, I know it’s haram). I’m just biding my time here, trying my best to obey Allah and do my duties as a Muslim. My aim is to practice Islam as best as I can to get to the highest levels of Jannah.

I’ve mentally checked out of my life here. I find myself constantly thinking about the life I will live in Jannah, it takes up a lot of my mental space. I don’t fantasise about living an extravagant, unattainable lifestyle. I just want to do the things that Allah has placed a restriction on in this life.

I love music and have always wanted to play an instrument, came close to buying a piano, but gave it up for the sake of Allah. I’m a girl and wear hijab to obey Allah, but it really limits me from dressing how I would want to express myself. However, I have no plan to ever take it off. I also don’t think I could be with a man, I don’t think I’m attracted to men (it’s a test Allah has placed on me and I accept it). This issue is probably my biggest challenge and I think about it on the daily, I cry myself to sleep a lot. The thought of a lonely, loveless life makes me very depressed.

I just wanted to get these secrets off my chest in an anonymous way. I also, want to see if anyone relates. I know there’s not much advice anyone can give me apart from being patient, which I am. I know that these big tests come with big rewards InshaAllah, but it’s crushing me :(

Is it haram to say “God bless you” to a non-believer?

(tl,dr at the end) please tell me how do I deal with this? Idk why it affects me so much. I tried to keep calm for so many years, but today was my last straw.

1. First, I was writing an essay due tonight on the dining table, & from the bathroom next to it, I started to hear constant smacking sounds from my dad in the bathroom. I ran to my room, I couldn’t even write, I just started crying. I started writing this in my notes app instead because I had to get my mind clear so I can continue the essay & it did help a lot.

It’s just so traumatizing & disgusting. Like do they have no shame, awareness, or haya, in front of their family & Allah? They know it's haram. Nothing is soundproof here.

2. Second, many occasions the entire family would be sitting in the living room, but my elder brother would be in the bathroom next to it & we’d hear him doing haram but running water to cover it. They pretend they don't notice or hear it not to make things awkward, but I’m 100% certain they know. The sound fills the room. I run to my room as soon as I hear it. Also, his room smells like haram & the only way I know is because it smells like the bathroom after he's done it. It lingers.

3. Third, it’s so obvious when my parents are intimate, they do it every weekend in the morning, they lock the door, & they both come out showered. I understand it's halal & it's their right, I try to ignore that, but here’s the bad part. when my mom is done, she comes to my room every time to just check on me. Like that’s the last time I’d want to see her, so I always respond with “I’m not in the mood to talk right now.” I say that every single time she does it hoping she’d get the hint to stop coming after intimacy. Although she did notice the pattern, she still comes & says “so you’re not in the mood now right?” LIKE SERIOUSLY YES SO WHY ARE U STILL COMING. SIMPLY DONT COME TO MY ROOM AS SOON AS U UNLOCK THE DOOR. STRAIGHT UP EVIL MOTIVES. she knows it bothers me so she makes things worse purposefully.

4. Fourth, one weekend, it was late afternoon so I thought they weren’t going to do it, so I took a shower in the bathroom connected to their room bc it's the only shower working at the time, & THEY STARTED KNOCKING AT THE DOOR TO HURRY SO THEY CAN DO IT. Once I got out, they did it. I can’t even face them anymore nor talk to them. And this issue isn't the only flaw in them, alhamdulilah, it's a build up, there's lots of family problems, anger issues, etc.

5. Fifth, this is one of the earliest signs of me being more aware of my parents doing it. Things got more apparent when I came back from studying abroad for a year, I guess the adopted a new routine to an emptier home and stuck to it. One time my mom woke me up past midnight to put my little sister in bed next to me so they can do it. I never let my little sister sleep in their bed again.

6. Sixth, alhamdulillah I don't do it & my elder sister too, but she doesn't notice much, besides what my brother does, because she’s always either in her room or living room. But telling her is embarrassing, it won't do anything, & she's also messed up with anger issues. Also, i’m pretty sure she’d tell my mom right away & my mom would start making it worse, more obvious, & won't care, because that's what happens when I tell her anything that bothers me. I literally isolate myself from them, I make sure to only leave my room when no one is in sight & I use a separate bathroom. I’m so done.

Is how I feel reasonable? How do I deal with this? Idk why it affects me this much.

tl, dr: I always hear my parents & bro doing haram. Is it normal that it bothers me so much? somehow we're very religious but I guess everyone sins. I try to isolate myself from them a lot.

The description of Jannah (Paradise) is described vividly in Islam which perhaps isn't matched in any other religion or belief system.

Which verses in the Qur'aan or authentic hadeeths can you think, instill in you hope and a desire to do good deeds, encouraging you to work towards reaching this eternal and final destination of total peace, joy, security and satisfaction?

Please provide references.

Assalamo alikum,

I have different things I want to purse or work on such as gaining Islamic knowledge, making money on the side, exercising/gym, family, personal/self development, etc. How can I manage my time to include all these activities?

Salam everyone, First of all, english is not my first language, so please bear with any mistakes. And secondly, I know this is a long post, but I have no one to talk to about this.

I have a situation that I’ve been pondering and I wonder if I’m in the wrong here. My mother met a woman during Hajj, and they quickly became close. This was the summer before I started university. However, I find it difficult to get along with this woman. We met a few times, and during the first year we knew her, her daughter, who is a year older than me, got engaged and married while still in university. The commitments led her to barely complete her first year due to her engagement, marriage, and child, which caused her to sideline her education.

From the first time I met her, this woman (my mother’s friend) wanted to send over potential suitors for me, even though she never asked if I was interested in marriage. My first years at university were very tough; I was feeling quite insecure and unwell (I still am, but it has improved somewhat). The first man she suggested was described as an “engineer in the automotive field,” but he was actually just a mechanic. I felt it was wrong to lie about such details. I asked my mother to decline as I wanted someone with a similar level of education, so we could have a compatible mindset.

Later, she suggested another suitor during a period when I was feeling extremely low, to the point where I felt utterly worthless. My mother and my married sister insisted the man was wonderful, but I disagreed. They arranged for us to meet without my knowledge while I was out with my mom and her friend. I tried to be polite, but it was clear he was not interested (nor was I).

I researched this man and found out he wasn’t practicing our faith sincerely; he partied often and only nominally identified as a Muslim, knowing little about Islam. Moreover, his brother had a hereditary disease which she failed to disclose.

I found it disrespectful for her to recommend such suitors, especially knowing my family’s devout and practicing background. My mother and sister said it was not intentional, but I know this woman believes that “men settle down after marriage.”

She has also repeatedly asked for my photo to send to men without giving us any information about them, not even their names. I never allowed my mother to send my pictures because this woman never even asked if I was interested in marriage.

Since then, I have declined all her suggestions because I disagree with her approach of concealing or misrepresenting information about the men she recommends, thinking a good girl will “fix” a bad guy. Once, when my mother asked her if a suitor she suggested was religious (if he prays daily), she replied, “I don’t know, but that’s something a woman can teach him after marriage.”

Moreover, I’m also bothered by another incident where she visited us with her daughter and daughter-in-law. She complimented my sister for looking like my mother, then looked at me with pity and commented, “you are wearing nice clothes,” implying indirectly that I am unattractive.

During the same visit, a woman called wanting to arrange a marriage for her son. She (my moms friend, talked on the Phone) started talking about me and asked my mother for a photo. I told my mother not to send any, my mother told her my father disagrees with sending my photos to random people. She agreed but later suggested taking a group photo for memory’s sake, which I refused.

Once(after the visit at our home), we were at a wedding, and she sent her daughter-in-law to persuade me to take a photo ‘just for memory’. Not wanting to be unkind to her (as I’m a people pleaser), I agreed to take a photo with her, even without my hijab (women-only wedding). However, I’m quite sure that my mother was also part of this ‘plan.’ It really bothers me that she now has a photo of me, especially one without my hijab, on her mobile.

I have expressed to my mother and sister that I dislike this woman because I feel she has been subtly very disrespectful towards me (My mother gets irritated every time I bring up how much that woman bothers me). Despite her superficially polite and respectful behavior, my family always excuses her by saying she doesn’t think things through and just wants to see everyone married, hoping men will settle down later. Her own son did everything imaginable, and then she married him off to his younger cousin from their homeland, while her daughter married a well-educated, good man, even though she doesn’t hold a degree herself.

Now, I never want to meet this woman again. I’m anxious because I know my mother will want to invite her to my future wedding since we have attended her family’s events. I don’t even want a wedding because of her.

My mother tells me to stop being so critical and to stop thinking badly of her. But I feel that she deliberately sends unsuitable men our way because we live outside their city, thinking we won’t find out the negative aspects about these men. Most importantly, she has never asked me if I wanted to get married. After four years of declining all her suggestions, she has finally stopped. But I still can’t help being bothered by her and never wanting to meet her, although I remain respectful when we do meet. I think she believes I think too highly of myself because I declined all her suggestions (wanting a genuinely good match).

Am I being overly sensitive and holding a grudge?

Hey 👋 Any Muslims going to CU Denver. I’m an international student starting in the fall and would like any advice on the school

I’m confused and have read so many fatwas that state it’s ok while some say it’s not, so would like to hear other opinions on it, JazakAllah

Salams, I feel like my father really failed as a husband and father to my sibling and mom and I. He wanted to stay home and not work so my mom was the breadwinner. He was very lazy and spoiled my sister, dropped her off at her friends homes without verifying what she was doing (he didn't vet the families properly). She was doing all sorts of drugs and having sex from age 12-16 regularly before we had no choice but to send her to a residential facility. Still not doing well and has tattoo's covered all over her body. My mom has been devastated but she couldn't do anything as she was busy working to provide for us. It's a very complicated story, but I just can't find it in my heart to forgive my father nor can I find it in my heart to forgive myself for not doing more (I was so clueless as to what he was doing). We ended up homeless in order to afford to pay for residential in Utah. It's a very sad story and I am leaving out a lot of details, but I have so much anger and regret, I am trying to move past it but I don't see any remorse from my father for his lack of parenting and discipline. Literally, people mange animals better than he did with my sister (granted she was a stubborn child) but he should have done more and not prevented us from disciplining her when she was a minor. I feel like he really corrupted her with drugs, alcohol and poor peer influences. I feel like he cheated us out of a life of happiness and now she is not involved with us in any way or form. Every Eid, Birthday etc, she is not there as she is with her friends, doing risky activities or using drugs. He really created a ripple effect to last lifetimes with his poor parenting and traditional Pakistani male laziness. She is 27 now and struggling so much with drug use, it's hurting to see her this way. Any dua I can say? Jazakallah.

Asalamualaikum. I have made mistakes and I know that I have done wrongs for me to be in this situation, but I need guidance on what may be abuse. For the last three days I have been nonstop saying Allah swt name and praying that things work out inshallah, and also asking for his forgiveness.

Last year my brother was assaulted and it has led to a lot of stress in our house. I had to take up more work in order to help my family. As a student this was taxing. While my parents would say if it’s too much you can stop, they would also make sure that I had work lined up during the summers. Any time I wasn’t working as much came with asking why I wasn’t and that I need to apply to jobs. This stress led me to have a few incomplete classes, which I have been working on, however I did not tell my parents about my incompletes.

Today I was supposed to graduate. I still have my incompletes to work on and inshallah will be done with them to graduate in August. But my parents found out about the incompletes that I had been lying about not having and being the reason why I was not graduating. I knew I should not have been doing this but I was fearful. I pray and pray that Allah and inshallah my parents can forgive me. For this my father slapped me twice, and I have been unable to hear anything from my left ear because of it for the last 4 hours. My mother tried to stop him from yelling at me after I walked away from him slapping me, and he pushed her into a wall and threw a book at her face.

I did not mention anything about the incompletes because I had a feeling it would lead to something like this. Now I am trying to leave the house.

My questions are mainly this: should I leave the house? Should I report this? I am 21 years old, and this is not the first time my father has beat me. I know that I should not have lied, but please guide me if my father’s action is justified. My heart is at unrest. He is not paying for any of my classes, I am on scholarship. But yes he is my father and he is allowing me to stay in his home, paying for me to eat and books and devices for my studies. My mother did nothing wrong and only tried to stop him from exerting himself.

As-salamu alaykum, I’m a 20 year old revert (sister) who currently lives with her father. My problem is that my father is very racist (we’re white). He is a loyal follower of fox news, and constantly talks about “Hamas” being in The States. He’s cruel, and rude. I want to please Allah SWT, and follow his teachings as I know they are what’s best. But I fear the reaction my father will have. I wish to pray, and wear hijab. Has anyone dealt with this?

Note; I’m leaving in September for 6 months to study and work under Disney, I’ve requested religious accommodations for my stay.

I am 27 years old man living abroad and working as an IT engineer. I recently learned about myself that I actually want some time alone in life at such age. Don't get me wrong, It's not that I hate being around my family, but the thing is, at such age, I want to live the experience at the fullest, learn new things and all.

Also I might add that we are having some issues in my parents house. Few years earlier, my father behavior became intolerant as he was giving my mother a very hard time after he retired, I don't want to get into the details but I will just say that it's not the normal 'retired old man' situation that I can understand, as there are other reasons. I want to make things easier for both of them, I continuously talked to them and made sure they don't get into stupid arguments, but it was even getting to me and made me stressful. Me, the youngest member of the family, trying to solve my family conflicts.

Now, my married sister is now living with my parents with her daughter because her husband went abroad to look for a job or some crap, even though his financial situation is excellent in the country. This is something that pissed off my parents, as they found themselves stuck with taking care of my little niece, that, by the way, they love so much, but they feel that they are getting used, and are concerned by the absence of a real father for her. Same as me. I'm playing with her as much as I can when I visit and I'm like her best friend.

Still that is very tiring. My last stay with the family was tiring as I worked remotely from there for a while. She would enter my room when I'm in meetings or when I'm taking a small nap after finishing to work to rest. I don't want to scream or yell at her, since the poor girl is just looking for someone to play with and her mother is not really good with this stuff ( she is my older sister btw ).

Anyway, when I went back abroad, I found some real peace of mind and I feel guilty for feeling like that really ?

So I’m a male and got given a silver ring for my birthday but it has Arabic writing what I presume quranic verses, I intend to west this because it’s sunnah to wear a ring and that’s all and it looks nice no other reason, I don’t believe it will help me with anything just want to wear it for the sunnah is it permissible?

There's an aunty who is feeling confused and disheartened.

She said there's a saying from a Sahabi that states "Be careful of the evil/jealousy of those you help." I can't find that saying.

This aunty has been financially helping a family. She's humble, never brags. However in those course of years since she started to support this family, her children lost their jobs, cannot find work, and proposals are being broken with no sight of marriage. She says it's been 4-5 years.

She is scared that what if by helping this family, the wife/husband of that family felt a sense of jealousy that 'oh this aunty's family has a lot of wealth while we do not' which is leading to these turn of events? She wants to stop the help out of fear, but holds a heavy sense of guilt.

I'd love to hear your advice on how she can navigate this situation.

I have read the Quran once in 2019. I am reading again. I am interested in visiting the mosque 5 minutes away from me. I am a white American male (31). What advice do you have?

Assalamualaikum. I was raised in a non Arab country and I loved someone that appeared to be a good person but he turned out to be an evil. I was so young but not underage and I sent him some personal pictures and after I decided not to do haram anymore he started to threaten me he would send the pictures to everyone I know. This happened 7 years ago but I’m still scared to use my name anywhere and even my pictures. Then I found out that he enjoys watching mur/ders and abusing people. I did umrah every year for the past seven years and I would never send anyone any picture of me even without hijab but I’m tired of all of this. What can I do? He is from another country. And he stalks my family accounts and tries to find my accounts but didn’t find them. I want to live freely like anyone else.

Assalaulaikum everyone, was wondering if anyone knows good dawah brochures that are very convincing of Islam inshallah, I want to print them and put them around the places I am in for ppl to pick up and read inshallah

Jzk

Assalamu alaikum, im a teen muslimah living in the west, I’m a revert and ever since I started practicing Islam, even though my family are cultural “Muslims”, my mom hasn’t been happy, especially with the Islamic dress code, and has wanted me to find my own accommodation, leave the house and get a job. Now she’s not actually thrown me out but she’s constantly saying that I should go, I just recently turned 18. I don’t really have a plan tbh but there’s a lot of mental abuse and pressure and constant fights which I feel I’ll get relieved from. As well as past trauma…what are the pros and cons? Should I go ahead with it?