/r/Mediation

Photograph via snooOG

A community for people interested in mediation and dispute resolution.

A subreddit for people interested in mediation, conflict resolution, and alternative dispute resolution.

Rules

Keep it civil. No bigotry, name-calling, or offensive behavior.

Keep it on-topic. This is a sub for discussion of conflict resolution, mediation, and dialogue techniques. Advertising of private mediation firms is not permitted and those posts will be deleted.

Keep it interesting! Strive for high-effort posts and discussion.

Topics

  • International Conflict

  • Peacebuilding

  • Community Mediation

  • Divorce Mediation

  • Mediation in Schools

  • Court ADR

  • Restorative Justice

Related Subreddits

/r/Negotiation

/r/ConflictResolution

/r/Mediation

2,584 Subscribers

1

Is there a way to become a dispute resolution consultant, without being qualified?

Hi, I am thinking of setting up a business as a Dispute Resolution Consultant for small businesses/ sole traders. Do I need a qualification for this?

0 Comments
2024/11/19
19:35 UTC

2

Career Change to Mediation? (30F - Advice Needed)

Hi everyone! I’m 30F (soon to be 31) and have been interested in mediation for a while. I always wanted to be an attorney, but decided against law school once I worked in big law as a legal assistant (tuition cost and seeing the daily misery of my attorneys were main deterrents). Mediation attracts me as it’s a step down from law and feels more hands on.

I was a legal assistant for over 3 years; I’m currently an executive assistant at a sales tech startup, where I’ve been for nearly 2 years (big switch I know, lol). I make decent money but frankly, this job isn’t intellectually stimulating nor purposeful enough for me. I don’t foresee much more growth in my role and am still intrigued by the prospect of becoming a mediator.

I’m wondering:

  1. If you’re a mediator, do you recommend this career? And is it realistic to switch into at 31?
  2. What credentials are needed, and what’s a realistic timeline to complete them (I’ve done some research on courses etc., but would like to hear first hand experiences)
  3. What does an average starting salary look like? How much can you ultimately make? (My current salary is in the early 90s - wouldn’t want a salary drop but that feels likely. FYI I’m in a major US city)
  4. Any other comments or attractions/drawbacks to this career

Thanks so much!

3 Comments
2024/11/19
16:56 UTC

6

How do I find a mediator?

Apparently, this question hasn't been asked here before.

My sister has requested a mediator to help us resolve a personal conflict.

I'm California bay area but I'm open to online/phone mediation.

I'm interested in your thoughts about licensing and credentials, but I'm not sure that that is particularly necessary in our case since this seems a more minor case of mediation.

7 Comments
2024/11/18
22:31 UTC

4

Providing mediation services.

Hello everyone, I am a Certified Professional Mediator based in Nairobi, Kenya with a year's experience in mediation. I am passionate about amicably resolving disputes without the bad blood that follows litigation proceedings. I am looking to expand my practice globally, so I welcome anyone with a dispute that is not of a criminal nature to contact me on my email : crispinngunya@gmail.com for affordable, swift, time-sensitive and amicable dispute resolution.

2 Comments
2024/11/12
16:02 UTC

2

Meditation for Settlement For Injury

For the last 3 years, I've been in litigation against AIG for an injury they refused to cover/acknowledge. In July of 2024, the judge ruled that AIG was in fact responsible in covering my claim. So my lawyer sent a demand to settle, but they refused. I was told they would rather take a chance and go to court. Letting the judge decide what exactly they would be financially responsible for, seemed foolish. However, you can't force someone to settle. So a final court date was scheduled for December 10th.

Fast forward to last Tuesday, my lawyer called to tell me that AIG Insurance no longer wants to go to trial. They've had a sudden change in heart and want to settle out of court. She said if I agreed, a meeting would be scheduled within the next 2 weeks, and I should have a check in my hand within 4 to 6 weeks. They already know my settlement demand, and no reason was given to my lawyer as to why they suddenly want to settle. (My guess is that AIG isn't happy that the State of CT issued a fine of undue delays against them. By settling, they won't have to pay it).

Anyway, I'm kind of nervous about this mediation. The only things I know is that my attendance is mandatory, and it's going to be a structured settlement. My lawyer said the odds of being award lumpsum were slim, so I'm not surprised by this. She also mentioned that everything will be figured out in just one meeting. The plus is that I don't have to agree to anything. If I want to proceed to trial, it's within my right. The drawback is that my lawyer said it would be another 12 to 18 months of litigation. AIG has already threatened to appeal the judges decision if an agreement isn't reached. (Gotta love insurance companies...) my lawyer also stressed that I need to be willing to compromise. I'm planning on going into this meeting with a mind as open as possible.

What should I expect at this meeting?

Is the whole point of this to come with terms/agreements on how the settlement is structured?

Should I make it lifelong or a set amount of years?

Who decides how much I get paid up front?

Who decides the amount/frequency of my payments?

7 Comments
2024/11/09
19:39 UTC

0

Wells Fargo mediation amount

Wondering if anyone has recently gone through mediation with Wells Fargo for creating additional accounts to boost numbers? What was the amount you got during mediation? I'm in mediation with them now.

10 Comments
2024/11/07
14:11 UTC

4

When a party shuts down

How does one approach a conflict that whenever a specific topic is brought up the other party checks out, glassy eyes, no responses, collapse in on themselves? They acknowledge that they do it, but that doesn't change the behavior. I think trauma has a part to play. Any suggestions to approch in a way that doesn't immediately shut them down? . They have an avoidance style of conflict

8 Comments
2024/11/02
23:39 UTC

6

Mental Health & Mediation

Hi all, I’m a therapist facilitating a training for some local mediation centers on how to support individuals with severe mental illness in mediation. If you’re so inclined, please feel free to share with me particular behaviors or mental health concerns you have seen in your work and if applicable, how you were or weren’t able to support the individual. This can include times you were able to proceed with the mediation process and times you were not. Of course, please take extra care to protect the confidentiality of individuals involved—feel free to send it in a DM if there is any chance the individual in question might recognize their story.

1 Comment
2024/10/31
19:15 UTC

7

Debunking Popular Misconceptions About Divorce Mediation

1. "Mediation only works for couples who get along."

Reality: Divorce mediation can be used by couples who have a difficult separation and disagreements as well as those who have a peaceful one. The mediator's job is to assist couples in handling disputes or confrontations. The intent is to establish a fair setting where both sides can be heard without prejudice. The role of a mediator is to de-escalate the disagreement and arrive at a mutually agreeable, reasonable solution, even in the absence of appropriate or calm communication.

2. "Mediators make decisions for you."

Reality: Unlike a judge, a mediator will not decide on your behalf. They will facilitate discussions that will help both sides reach their own decisions. This is to guarantee that both parties will contribute to the agreement and that it will fairly benefit them both. Each party is free to make their own choice.

3. "Mediation agreements aren’t legally binding."

Reality: Once a judge approves a mediation agreement, it becomes legally binding. Because the agreements were reached by mutual consent while respecting one another's differences, mediations frequently result in easier enforcement of agreements. Like any other court order, mediation agreements will be recognized by the court.

4. "You don’t need a lawyer for mediation."

Reality: Although a lawyer is not required for mediation sessions, it would be extremely helpful to have one when both parties reach a final agreement. This is to guarantee that the agreement reached by both parties secures each other's rights and that no important information is overlooked. This makes it easier for the parties to be completely informed before they sign the mediation's final agreement.

5. "Opting for mediation shows weakness."

Reality: Choosing mediation is a wise choice since it demonstrates a desire to resolve disputes quickly. In order to reach a mutually beneficial agreement, it helps both parties avoid wasting additional time, money, and emotional energy as well as engaging in prolonged legal disputes. Making the choice to mediate is a smart one since it puts peace above continuous conflicts.

6. "Mediation isn’t suitable for complex cases."

Reality: Even the most complicated divorce cases can be resolved through mediation's adaptability. In order to make sure that every detail is carefully considered, mediators might bring in subject matter experts, like financial advisors or child specialists, to help with complex financial portfolio division or delicate custody disputes. Mediation offers an adaptable system for handling complex issues with customized solutions.

7. "The stronger spouse always dominates mediation."

Reality: The fact that mediation provides equal voice to both spouses is one of its main advantages. A good mediator makes sure that nobody dominates the conversation or controls the process of mediation. In order to ensure that decisions are made accurately and fairly and that the playing field remains equal, the mediator helps balance the dialogue while encouraging both parties to speak freely.

8. "Mediation ignores emotional issues."

Reality: Mediation gives room for emotional concerns to be addressed, in comparison to court, which only considers legal and factual issues. Mediation can accept the feelings of betrayal, loss, or rage that frequently accompany divorce, making both parties feel understood. This emotional factor is essential to achieving a settlement that feels just and thorough which makes the process easier.

9. "Mediation won’t work if my spouse is uncooperative."

Reality: Competent mediators has skills to handle disagreement and encourage cooperation, even in cases where one partner appears uncooperative. They have received training on how to deal with challenging individuals and circumstances through applying strategies that aim to involve both parties. Even if mediation doesn't begin with a more cooperative environment, it can eventually establish one.

2 Comments
2024/10/14
16:48 UTC

3

Help with mediation

Without going into too much detail, I'm preparing to go to mediation with my ex for child support. Things are really messy. I can't afford a lawyer, but I'm so anxious to go by myself that I start to panic just thinking about it. Is there someone less expensive than an attorney that I could get to accompany me? Does that exist? Thank you in advance!

5 Comments
2024/10/11
19:08 UTC

5

looking for best training provider in california

Hello! Any one have any advice or resources on the 40 hr training cert? I would really like a provider that offers volunteer opportunities and some networking or job help. Thank you in advance

1 Comment
2024/10/10
05:33 UTC

4

Who Pays for Mediation? Here’s What You Need to Know!

If you're considering mediation, you might be curious about one key detail: Who pays for it? Let's go into the facts and stats behind mediation costs so you can make an informed decision.

Who Pays?

In most mediation cases, the cost is shared equally between the two parties. This shared responsibility fosters a sense of fairness and mutual investment in resolving the dispute. Sharing the cost also helps to keep the focus on collaboration rather than competition.

How Affordable is Mediation?

Mediation is not only more affordable than traditional litigation but also much quicker. On average, mediation can resolve disputes in 60-90 days, whereas court cases can stretch on for months—or even years—depending on the complexity. Studies show that mediation can be 70-90% less expensive than court proceedings, depending on the case type and location.

Mediation isn't just about saving money. It's also a less stressful, more flexible process compared to court.

With mediation, you have more control over the outcome, and the process can be tailored to your needs—something you don't get with rigid court procedures.

4 Comments
2024/10/09
07:49 UTC

2

Is a masters in mediation worth it?

Hi! Sorry if this has been posted on this sub before, I just joined. I’m a 3rd year in undergrad. A university in my state offers a mediation masters degree. I’ve seen many mediators have a past of law or social work. Would getting a masters in mediation be enough to be successful in the field? More info- I’m getting a dual degree in psychology and criminology. Have research experience in psychology related fields and a part time job that is similar to case management (which is in the realm of social work somewhat).

5 Comments
2024/10/07
02:18 UTC

1

Mediation in a car-accident personal-injury settlement

I might need to go to a mediator to seek additional compensation through my settlement with an insurance company. Thing is my lawyer said it would be costly as well. I assume he adds this on his fees on top of his 33.3%. So I would need the mediator to not only side with me but cover me because every $1000 I spent on mediation I would be only gaining $700. Thus I would need to get at least $2000 more to make it worthwhile.

Does anyone have any advice about how I can get a truly impartial mediator. I assume they aren't really independent if they rely on my lawyer and the insurance company bringing them repeat business. I was thinking about trying a free-mediation service or choosing one myself if need be. Is this possible?

I really need to watch my expenses because the settlement might get so whittled down by fees and such.

ANY ADVICE would be appreciated.

6 Comments
2024/10/04
03:49 UTC

9

Wells Fargo Mediation - Accidental Death Product

I received a letter from Wells Fargo in February of 2024 informing me that I was enrolled in an Accidental Death Product from August 2009-December 2022. They offered me a settlement of $3,383. I told them that wasn’t nearly enough for the amount of time and type of product that they had enrolled me in without my consent. They countered with an extra $250, bringing their offer to $3,633 and told me they could send me a packet to request mediation if I still didn’t agree. I accepted their offer for the initial settlement and asked for the mediation packet.

I received my check within a couple of weeks and sent back my mediation request form in March of 2024, requesting additional compensation. (Admittedly, probably an outlandish amount, but I knew whatever I asked for they would counter for substantially less). They confirmed receipt of the letter.

I didn’t hear anything else until July 2024, when a Wells Fargo rep called me after I mailed them an additional letter requesting status on my request. They offered me an additional $750 rather than going through mediation. I declined and said I’d hold out for mediation.

In August 2024, I finally received a mediation date of September 10th, 2024. They suggested I hold 4 hours for the mediation, but mine ended up taking under an hour. The third party arbitrator was very honest and helpful and would give me advice on where I should go in with a request. He made it clear that the reps they send to the mediations have very limited options as far as what they can offer. I started my request at $10,000 after hearing that. The arbitrator came back after speaking to Wells Fargo and told me they offered $1,700. I countered with $8,000. Wells Fargo came back with $2,500. I countered with $5,000. Wells Fargo came back with $3,200 and told the mediator that was the highest they had authority to offer. The mediator brought that news back to me and said that sounded truthful and accurate from all of the other Wells Fargo mediations that he has been a part of.

I pushed for information about the product, but they were never able to tell me much. They couldn’t (or wouldn’t) tell me how much the policy was for, who opened it, who was the beneficiary, etc. They claimed not to have any of that info because the policy was through a third party. The mediator told me most people’s “evidence” was long gone, as the vast majority of products and accounts were open for short periods of time and it was many years ago. However, he was able to get the Wells Fargo rep to tell me the company who the insurance policy was through, and suggested I may have success in requesting records to consider further legal action since my policy was closed a relatively short time ago and retention policies may mean the records are still available.

I took his advice and requested the records through the third party policy carrier, but after multiple searches they claimed to be unable to locate any such policy.

The good news is accepting a settlement from Wells Fargo does not prevent you from filing a separate claim if you so wish. I am still considering it, based off the egregious nature of the product and the fact that they opened a life insurance policy on me without my knowledge, but haven’t made a final decision yet as it seems like any actual evidence of the policy itself isn’t going to be available.

Hope this is helpful for anyone else going through this who has questions about the process.

14 Comments
2024/10/04
00:13 UTC

7

Tips for Divorcing a Narcissist

Having worked with many people going through the difficult process of divorcing a narcissist, I’ve seen firsthand how emotionally draining it can be. If you’re in this situation, you’re not alone, and there are ways to navigate it more effectively. Here are some of the most helpful strategies I’ve learned from my experience as a mediator:

1. Reflect Before Mediation

Before entering mediation, take time to define your goals. Narcissists often try to control the narrative, so having clear priorities—and sharing them with your attorney—can help you stay focused.

2. Leverage Your Strengths

Narcissists may appear confident, but everyone has weaknesses. Knowing your strengths and getting professional advice (especially around finances) can help you navigate negotiations.

3. Stay Emotionally Composed

Narcissists often provoke emotional reactions to gain control. Staying calm and composed will help you make better decisions and avoid falling into their traps.

4. Be Cautious with the First Offer

The first offer from a narcissist is usually designed to unsettle you. Don’t rush—take your time to evaluate it and respond thoughtfully.

5. Don’t Let Them Rush You

Narcissists thrive on pressure tactics. It’s okay to slow down and make decisions at your own pace, especially when it comes to your long-term well-being.

Why Preparation Matters

Divorcing a narcissist is emotionally exhausting, but thorough preparation can help you manage the process with greater clarity and control. Mediation can be less stressful and more efficient than court.

3 Comments
2024/10/02
06:14 UTC

3

Fav Parenting Plan Provisions??

DH and I have been asked to renegotiate the parenting plan; it has been 6 years since the original. Both parties have remarried and have a child with the new spouse. DH and I are the recipients of a constant barrage of texts assuring us of our inadequacies as parents /co-parents, even though we practice "BIFF" in our communication and are 9/10ths of the time accommodating to whatever schedule change or accomodation is being asked... So, while we loath the legal cost of renegotiating the plan, we're also seeing this as a way to get some changes agreed upon and shut down some of the shenanigans. What have been your most successful/favorite/effective parenting plan provisions for eliminating conflict? The highest conflicts now are around BM calling SD during Dad's time, when/how custody changes happen, and the frequent requests for custody schedule changes... This is probably true for everyone 🙃

3 Comments
2024/09/22
22:08 UTC

2

Lying to private mediators

Hi all, My landlord hired mediation for myself and my neighbor. My neighbor has been making false claims against myself and others in the past. She has called several authories. Anyways, during the mediation, she made several lies and made accusations I was abusing my client. Will the mediators start a case against her? Thanks!! KC

5 Comments
2024/09/21
22:26 UTC

9

R/wellsfargoremediation

a community for all things wells Fargo remediation.

r/Wellsfargoremediation

0 Comments
2024/09/21
03:51 UTC

4

Should I follow Mediation or a passion

Hello, I am in 12th grade, doing dual enrollment. After this semester and the next I will graduate high school with 60 college credits. I always wanted to aim high, so I decided on law, specifically mediation. The more I study and work through school, the more I realize how much I dislike it. I am very afraid of working hard to get a degree and get into law school and get a job, only to realize that my life is just becoming harder and harder, with more restrictions. I do want to get a high paying job, but I do not want my job to consume my life. I am afraid that law might do that to me.

On the other hand, I have always been an artistic person, and really want to pursue voice acting. The problem with this is that I am afraid that the career wont be stable enough. Or that I will not make enough money. I also do not want to put my intelligence to wast by not pursuing some high calling.

The question being, what should I do? Given the information above, should I go for law or voice acting?

2 Comments
2024/09/17
21:16 UTC

3

Should I do a Civil and Commercial mediation course (UK)?

I'm a third year law student and my uni is offering a Civil and Commercial mediation course. The course runs over 5 days and is at a discounted price for students.

Contemplating whether to go for it or not - I don't even know if I want to do a career in mediation. Is it a useful qualification to have regardless, or is it useless to do something that you're not going to use in the foreseeable future (especially as I'm still a student)?

Thanks!

3 Comments
2024/09/15
11:29 UTC

0

Wells Fargo Mediation Situation...Any advice?

I'm actually dealing with three letters, two accounts each three months, The other one over TWELVE years. they offered 2500 pre mediation for that one and said I can request more if not feeling its acceptable. around 100 bucks for the other two. I was thinking of adding at least 3 trailing zeros to each one. Any advice. I know my credit debit to income and score has been affected, and the one over 12 years was still opened after they were ordered to close account in 2016 for another 3 years

21 Comments
2024/09/12
08:26 UTC

7

Mediators, How Do You Feel When Cases Fall Apart?

Hey Mediators! I’m curious about your experiences when things don’t go as planned. How do you feel when parties, after reaching an initial agreement, start disagreeing again or when the case is brought back to court?

  1. What do you do in these situations?
  2. How do you manage your own emotions and keep things professional?
  3. Do you have any strategies to help parties stay on track, or do you just accept that some cases will end up back in court?
  4. Do you ever feel like you’ve failed as a mediator when this happens?

I’d love to hear your insights, stories, and any advice you might have for dealing with these challenging moments!

9 Comments
2024/09/11
16:59 UTC

6

Restorative Justice

Hi everyone! I'm making a documentary about restorative justice in the UK. I'm looking for stories and people to speak to about my research, based in the UK. My aim is not to sensationalise the crime, but focus on the healing and humans behind the incident involved, whilst looking at how RJ could be an alternative to punitive justice. I also want to add I am approaching this with serious awareness around safeguarding and will be following the advice of organisations I'm speaking to when making the film. I look forward to hearing your stories or any you may have come across :) Thanks so much

1 Comment
2024/09/11
15:48 UTC

3

Learn mediation offering

University of Georgia JW Fanning institute of leadership is offering a course in civil mediation. I am not affiliated with their organization.

https://outreachregistration.uga.edu/search/publicCourseSearchDetails.do?method=load&courseId=6827940&parentSite=FAN

1 Comment
2024/09/10
21:07 UTC

4

Eeoc mediation

Hey guys so I have a mediation coming up. And I know I have to think of a number for. E to provide and mediate on it. But I don’t know what to say. I did have a lawyer but he told me he would help me if we don’t settle at mediation. My claims are discrimination during pregnancy and after. Wrongful termination. Discrimination against religion , after 2 years of working they told me I wasn’t Christian enough to keep teaching there. Retaliation , hostile place to work , harassment .

8 Comments
2024/09/07
07:28 UTC

4

What do I need to do to become an international mediator?

I am interested in mediation, but not for divorces or lawsuits or anything like that. I want to bring world peace. What credentials do I need to have? Should I go to college. I was hoping somebody could shed some light on this for me.

9 Comments
2024/09/03
17:15 UTC

6

Mediation practice

Hello, everyone. I am new here a certified mediator base in Nairobi kenya and looking forward to learning and connecting.

2 Comments
2024/08/31
17:10 UTC

2

Civil lawsuit case dismissal in mediation

I am in a civil lawsuit case that has been going on for several years. We are finally having mediation soon. Can charges be dismissed during mediation? I don't want to say an excess of information so I understand that it's not a straight-forward answer, but I mostly want to know if it is usual/common for charges to get fully dismissed during mediation. I have read that mediation is generally both parties coming to an agreement, which makes it seem unlikely that the charges would get dropped, however, I have been advised that it still could be. Thank you

2 Comments
2024/08/30
20:43 UTC

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