1. "Mediation only works for couples who get along."

Reality: Divorce mediation can be used by couples who have a difficult separation and disagreements as well as those who have a peaceful one. The mediator's job is to assist couples in handling disputes or confrontations. The intent is to establish a fair setting where both sides can be heard without prejudice. The role of a mediator is to de-escalate the disagreement and arrive at a mutually agreeable, reasonable solution, even in the absence of appropriate or calm communication.

2. "Mediators make decisions for you."

Reality: Unlike a judge, a mediator will not decide on your behalf. They will facilitate discussions that will help both sides reach their own decisions. This is to guarantee that both parties will contribute to the agreement and that it will fairly benefit them both. Each party is free to make their own choice.

3. "Mediation agreements aren’t legally binding."

Reality: Once a judge approves a mediation agreement, it becomes legally binding. Because the agreements were reached by mutual consent while respecting one another's differences, mediations frequently result in easier enforcement of agreements. Like any other court order, mediation agreements will be recognized by the court.

4. "You don’t need a lawyer for mediation."

Reality: Although a lawyer is not required for mediation sessions, it would be extremely helpful to have one when both parties reach a final agreement. This is to guarantee that the agreement reached by both parties secures each other's rights and that no important information is overlooked. This makes it easier for the parties to be completely informed before they sign the mediation's final agreement.

5. "Opting for mediation shows weakness."

Reality: Choosing mediation is a wise choice since it demonstrates a desire to resolve disputes quickly. In order to reach a mutually beneficial agreement, it helps both parties avoid wasting additional time, money, and emotional energy as well as engaging in prolonged legal disputes. Making the choice to mediate is a smart one since it puts peace above continuous conflicts.

6. "Mediation isn’t suitable for complex cases."

Reality: Even the most complicated divorce cases can be resolved through mediation's adaptability. In order to make sure that every detail is carefully considered, mediators might bring in subject matter experts, like financial advisors or child specialists, to help with complex financial portfolio division or delicate custody disputes. Mediation offers an adaptable system for handling complex issues with customized solutions.

7. "The stronger spouse always dominates mediation."

Reality: The fact that mediation provides equal voice to both spouses is one of its main advantages. A good mediator makes sure that nobody dominates the conversation or controls the process of mediation. In order to ensure that decisions are made accurately and fairly and that the playing field remains equal, the mediator helps balance the dialogue while encouraging both parties to speak freely.

8. "Mediation ignores emotional issues."

Reality: Mediation gives room for emotional concerns to be addressed, in comparison to court, which only considers legal and factual issues. Mediation can accept the feelings of betrayal, loss, or rage that frequently accompany divorce, making both parties feel understood. This emotional factor is essential to achieving a settlement that feels just and thorough which makes the process easier.

9. "Mediation won’t work if my spouse is uncooperative."

Reality: Competent mediators has skills to handle disagreement and encourage cooperation, even in cases where one partner appears uncooperative. They have received training on how to deal with challenging individuals and circumstances through applying strategies that aim to involve both parties. Even if mediation doesn't begin with a more cooperative environment, it can eventually establish one.

Without going into too much detail, I'm preparing to go to mediation with my ex for child support. Things are really messy. I can't afford a lawyer, but I'm so anxious to go by myself that I start to panic just thinking about it. Is there someone less expensive than an attorney that I could get to accompany me? Does that exist? Thank you in advance!

Hello! Any one have any advice or resources on the 40 hr training cert? I would really like a provider that offers volunteer opportunities and some networking or job help. Thank you in advance

If you're considering mediation, you might be curious about one key detail: Who pays for it? Let's go into the facts and stats behind mediation costs so you can make an informed decision.

Who Pays?

In most mediation cases, the cost is shared equally between the two parties. This shared responsibility fosters a sense of fairness and mutual investment in resolving the dispute. Sharing the cost also helps to keep the focus on collaboration rather than competition.

How Affordable is Mediation?

Mediation is not only more affordable than traditional litigation but also much quicker. On average, mediation can resolve disputes in 60-90 days, whereas court cases can stretch on for months—or even years—depending on the complexity. Studies show that mediation can be 70-90% less expensive than court proceedings, depending on the case type and location.

Mediation isn't just about saving money. It's also a less stressful, more flexible process compared to court.

With mediation, you have more control over the outcome, and the process can be tailored to your needs—something you don't get with rigid court procedures.

Hi! Sorry if this has been posted on this sub before, I just joined. I’m a 3rd year in undergrad. A university in my state offers a mediation masters degree. I’ve seen many mediators have a past of law or social work. Would getting a masters in mediation be enough to be successful in the field? More info- I’m getting a dual degree in psychology and criminology. Have research experience in psychology related fields and a part time job that is similar to case management (which is in the realm of social work somewhat).

I might need to go to a mediator to seek additional compensation through my settlement with an insurance company. Thing is my lawyer said it would be costly as well. I assume he adds this on his fees on top of his 33.3%. So I would need the mediator to not only side with me but cover me because every $1000 I spent on mediation I would be only gaining $700. Thus I would need to get at least $2000 more to make it worthwhile.

Does anyone have any advice about how I can get a truly impartial mediator. I assume they aren't really independent if they rely on my lawyer and the insurance company bringing them repeat business. I was thinking about trying a free-mediation service or choosing one myself if need be. Is this possible?

I really need to watch my expenses because the settlement might get so whittled down by fees and such.

ANY ADVICE would be appreciated.

I received a letter from Wells Fargo in February of 2024 informing me that I was enrolled in an Accidental Death Product from August 2009-December 2022. They offered me a settlement of $3,383. I told them that wasn’t nearly enough for the amount of time and type of product that they had enrolled me in without my consent. They countered with an extra $250, bringing their offer to $3,633 and told me they could send me a packet to request mediation if I still didn’t agree. I accepted their offer for the initial settlement and asked for the mediation packet.

I received my check within a couple of weeks and sent back my mediation request form in March of 2024, requesting additional compensation. (Admittedly, probably an outlandish amount, but I knew whatever I asked for they would counter for substantially less). They confirmed receipt of the letter.

I didn’t hear anything else until July 2024, when a Wells Fargo rep called me after I mailed them an additional letter requesting status on my request. They offered me an additional $750 rather than going through mediation. I declined and said I’d hold out for mediation.

In August 2024, I finally received a mediation date of September 10th, 2024. They suggested I hold 4 hours for the mediation, but mine ended up taking under an hour. The third party arbitrator was very honest and helpful and would give me advice on where I should go in with a request. He made it clear that the reps they send to the mediations have very limited options as far as what they can offer. I started my request at $10,000 after hearing that. The arbitrator came back after speaking to Wells Fargo and told me they offered $1,700. I countered with $8,000. Wells Fargo came back with $2,500. I countered with $5,000. Wells Fargo came back with $3,200 and told the mediator that was the highest they had authority to offer. The mediator brought that news back to me and said that sounded truthful and accurate from all of the other Wells Fargo mediations that he has been a part of.

I pushed for information about the product, but they were never able to tell me much. They couldn’t (or wouldn’t) tell me how much the policy was for, who opened it, who was the beneficiary, etc. They claimed not to have any of that info because the policy was through a third party. The mediator told me most people’s “evidence” was long gone, as the vast majority of products and accounts were open for short periods of time and it was many years ago. However, he was able to get the Wells Fargo rep to tell me the company who the insurance policy was through, and suggested I may have success in requesting records to consider further legal action since my policy was closed a relatively short time ago and retention policies may mean the records are still available.

I took his advice and requested the records through the third party policy carrier, but after multiple searches they claimed to be unable to locate any such policy.

The good news is accepting a settlement from Wells Fargo does not prevent you from filing a separate claim if you so wish. I am still considering it, based off the egregious nature of the product and the fact that they opened a life insurance policy on me without my knowledge, but haven’t made a final decision yet as it seems like any actual evidence of the policy itself isn’t going to be available.

Hope this is helpful for anyone else going through this who has questions about the process.

Having worked with many people going through the difficult process of divorcing a narcissist, I’ve seen firsthand how emotionally draining it can be. If you’re in this situation, you’re not alone, and there are ways to navigate it more effectively. Here are some of the most helpful strategies I’ve learned from my experience as a mediator:

1. Reflect Before Mediation

Before entering mediation, take time to define your goals. Narcissists often try to control the narrative, so having clear priorities—and sharing them with your attorney—can help you stay focused.

2. Leverage Your Strengths

Narcissists may appear confident, but everyone has weaknesses. Knowing your strengths and getting professional advice (especially around finances) can help you navigate negotiations.

3. Stay Emotionally Composed

Narcissists often provoke emotional reactions to gain control. Staying calm and composed will help you make better decisions and avoid falling into their traps.

4. Be Cautious with the First Offer

The first offer from a narcissist is usually designed to unsettle you. Don’t rush—take your time to evaluate it and respond thoughtfully.

5. Don’t Let Them Rush You

Narcissists thrive on pressure tactics. It’s okay to slow down and make decisions at your own pace, especially when it comes to your long-term well-being.

Why Preparation Matters

Divorcing a narcissist is emotionally exhausting, but thorough preparation can help you manage the process with greater clarity and control. Mediation can be less stressful and more efficient than court.

DH and I have been asked to renegotiate the parenting plan; it has been 6 years since the original. Both parties have remarried and have a child with the new spouse. DH and I are the recipients of a constant barrage of texts assuring us of our inadequacies as parents /co-parents, even though we practice "BIFF" in our communication and are 9/10ths of the time accommodating to whatever schedule change or accomodation is being asked... So, while we loath the legal cost of renegotiating the plan, we're also seeing this as a way to get some changes agreed upon and shut down some of the shenanigans. What have been your most successful/favorite/effective parenting plan provisions for eliminating conflict? The highest conflicts now are around BM calling SD during Dad's time, when/how custody changes happen, and the frequent requests for custody schedule changes... This is probably true for everyone 🙃

Hi all, My landlord hired mediation for myself and my neighbor. My neighbor has been making false claims against myself and others in the past. She has called several authories. Anyways, during the mediation, she made several lies and made accusations I was abusing my client. Will the mediators start a case against her? Thanks!! KC

a community for all things wells Fargo remediation.

r/Wellsfargoremediation

Hello, I am in 12th grade, doing dual enrollment. After this semester and the next I will graduate high school with 60 college credits. I always wanted to aim high, so I decided on law, specifically mediation. The more I study and work through school, the more I realize how much I dislike it. I am very afraid of working hard to get a degree and get into law school and get a job, only to realize that my life is just becoming harder and harder, with more restrictions. I do want to get a high paying job, but I do not want my job to consume my life. I am afraid that law might do that to me.

On the other hand, I have always been an artistic person, and really want to pursue voice acting. The problem with this is that I am afraid that the career wont be stable enough. Or that I will not make enough money. I also do not want to put my intelligence to wast by not pursuing some high calling.

The question being, what should I do? Given the information above, should I go for law or voice acting?

I'm a third year law student and my uni is offering a Civil and Commercial mediation course. The course runs over 5 days and is at a discounted price for students.

Contemplating whether to go for it or not - I don't even know if I want to do a career in mediation. Is it a useful qualification to have regardless, or is it useless to do something that you're not going to use in the foreseeable future (especially as I'm still a student)?

Thanks!

I'm actually dealing with three letters, two accounts each three months, The other one over TWELVE years. they offered 2500 pre mediation for that one and said I can request more if not feeling its acceptable. around 100 bucks for the other two. I was thinking of adding at least 3 trailing zeros to each one. Any advice. I know my credit debit to income and score has been affected, and the one over 12 years was still opened after they were ordered to close account in 2016 for another 3 years

Hey Mediators! I’m curious about your experiences when things don’t go as planned. How do you feel when parties, after reaching an initial agreement, start disagreeing again or when the case is brought back to court?

1. What do you do in these situations?
2. How do you manage your own emotions and keep things professional?
3. Do you have any strategies to help parties stay on track, or do you just accept that some cases will end up back in court?
4. Do you ever feel like you’ve failed as a mediator when this happens?

I’d love to hear your insights, stories, and any advice you might have for dealing with these challenging moments!

Hi everyone! I'm making a documentary about restorative justice in the UK. I'm looking for stories and people to speak to about my research, based in the UK. My aim is not to sensationalise the crime, but focus on the healing and humans behind the incident involved, whilst looking at how RJ could be an alternative to punitive justice. I also want to add I am approaching this with serious awareness around safeguarding and will be following the advice of organisations I'm speaking to when making the film. I look forward to hearing your stories or any you may have come across :) Thanks so much

University of Georgia JW Fanning institute of leadership is offering a course in civil mediation. I am not affiliated with their organization.

https://outreachregistration.uga.edu/search/publicCourseSearchDetails.do?method=load&courseId=6827940&parentSite=FAN

Hey guys so I have a mediation coming up. And I know I have to think of a number for. E to provide and mediate on it. But I don’t know what to say. I did have a lawyer but he told me he would help me if we don’t settle at mediation. My claims are discrimination during pregnancy and after. Wrongful termination. Discrimination against religion , after 2 years of working they told me I wasn’t Christian enough to keep teaching there. Retaliation , hostile place to work , harassment .

I am interested in mediation, but not for divorces or lawsuits or anything like that. I want to bring world peace. What credentials do I need to have? Should I go to college. I was hoping somebody could shed some light on this for me.

Hello, everyone. I am new here a certified mediator base in Nairobi kenya and looking forward to learning and connecting.

I am in a civil lawsuit case that has been going on for several years. We are finally having mediation soon. Can charges be dismissed during mediation? I don't want to say an excess of information so I understand that it's not a straight-forward answer, but I mostly want to know if it is usual/common for charges to get fully dismissed during mediation. I have read that mediation is generally both parties coming to an agreement, which makes it seem unlikely that the charges would get dropped, however, I have been advised that it still could be. Thank you

Had a great interview with Dr. Jim Guinn. Check it out:

https://youtu.be/yiZDyO854Ow?si=S82dKjnidogfrU4_

I hope I’m asking this question in the right space. My STBXH of 27 yrs threatened that “we’d got to war” if I ever divorce him. I filed and we are set to mediate in a month. I am terrified. I haven’t seen him for 6 months. Can I get lots of advice, tips, examples etc of what mediation might look like. I meet with my atty in 2 weeks so I want to be prepared for that too. Thanks.

I have been a financial advisor for the last 20 years and am looking to make a change in career. Mediation calls to me due to it being complementary with my natural skillset and many years of work in my professional and personal life helping others work through their emotions to make rational decisions. I've also been through my own divorce mediation earlier this year, and found the process engaging and illuminating, and am called to help others in similar situations. My small twist is that I am also a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, with experience and expertise in the finances involved with divorces, and am decently well-networked within the legal community in my area as a result.

I've enrolled for a mediation course later this fall, and I'm hoping for your take on whether as a non-lawyer, this seems like a successful combination for a switch into a career into mediation. I'd also love to hear:

1. What do you wish you had known before going into mediation - what are the drawbacks, and what would you have done differently if you could start again?

2. What are the things you think someone new to the career should prioritize?

3. Is there any advice and/or warnings you would give to someone in your life who is thinking about doing this?

Thank you!

Hey folks, I have a small claims dispute and the mediation is this afternoon. I asked the mediator this but I still don't understand, if I file a small claims case for $517, and I end up paying $55 for filing the case and $60 something on the mediator, can I seek this money in restitution at the mediation today or would I have to had to known how much money all this would have cost before filing? TIA

I am one of the many that received the cryptic letters and checks as compensation for an "error" in my loan modification process. I am now entering into mediation with Wells Fargo in hopes of a larger award, as it seems the check is a small percentage of what may actually be owed. I have see posts regarding the settlement amounts for the fraudulent products and accounts cases, but I have not seen anyone give settlement offer amounts for loan modification error cases. Can anyone tell me what they have been offered for this type of case when going through the mediation process with Wells Fargo? Thank you!!!

Hi!

I've familiarized myself with the Mediator Certification Qualifications for my state, so I know that I'll need a certain number of hours of training in a specific area of mediation, along with some mentorship. (I hold a Master's degree, so I will also get credit/points for that toward the total number of credits/points required.)

I've read here that some places provide free training in exchange for committing to volunteering with that center/firm afterward. So far, I've not found any situations like that at the places my state's government site recommended. However, I DID find that one of the counties allows for Volunteer Mediators and says you're certified after a minimum of 20 hours of mediation training and completing mentorship. Now, I would *think* they wouldn't expect volunteer mediators to pay the $850 to $900 (avg. price for mediation training at the centers listed at the state website) for a volunteer position--but I don't want to assume. (I'll be calling them tomorrow for more info...)

With this in mind, I am also wondering, say I pay the $900 for mediation training (I've found at cheap as $450 for basic "county" training but for any specific area such as family or dependency, it's $850 to $900.). Does that usually guarantee that the same agency will put me to work immediately following mediator certification? Or is that not the norm? Should I ask the agency? Granted, they could tell me anything to get my money, and I realize that...but what *usually* happens? What does it look like in most places?

Hello,

I'm considering training in family mediation and have been looking at MostenGuthrie and CSU-San Bernardino, among others. Anybody here been through these programs and can offer your own review? What programs offer the best curricula, price, and overall experience? I'm a retired lawyer and psychotherapist looking to expand my practice and have taken a basic 40-hour mediation training.

Hello! I’m debating adding a mediation aspect to the practice I am developing and am looking for a mentor to show me the ropes and what’s what so I can ensure I’m a good fit for this profession. I’m a former lawyer (construction law mainly), and now am in the defense industry (not practicing as an attorney). I have always been drawn to mediation and feel I could help people with their disputes. I am willing to train/mentor and in return provide volunteer services etc. Not 100% sure how this usually works, so I’m open to suggestions and comments. Located near DC in VA if that matters. Thank you all for (helpful) thoughts!

Hi everyone! I am just about to finish up my mediation certificate from my university. If all goes well, I will be certified in December!!! (Yay!)

I’m 22, and heard mostly about mediation from my professors or when my Dad has had to go. I have never heard of mediation from anyone (general discussions, jobs) or I suppose just never realized what it was until I got to college. I’ve only heard of people doing mediation part time, my professors included. It seems like a lot of people are interested in mediation with a lot of routes to go. But i am unaware of which route I want to go.

• What do you fellow mediators do? (part time?) -What do you recommend for someone starting

out their mediation career?

Any general advice ? Thanks!