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I had a dream that i died and went to heaven. I met Jesus, complete with Birkenstocks and flowy hair down past his butt crack- typical white Christian Jesus. Everyone is drinking wine and having a good ol' time- except for this random man next to me. "I'm Jewish, and this is an Easter celebration." Jesus overhears and says "Oh Lordy- I must have messed up my invitations!"

please watch my video

or he's INTO ME!!!!!!!!!! huraaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

that means everything is okay

and it'll never be a problem at all

wow

guys if you think you're about to get into some shit, just confess your (fake) love to any person, girl, gay, trans, etc. doesn't matter.

marry it, and you'll be pardoned.

Her gigantic farts can be heard from here. Stop even trying... seriously. LOL

Cosby is lured into the courtroom by a kindly older prosecutor. "I thought he was going to show me his briefs" sobbed a shaking cosby!

So the other day I went to the supermarket, and I was there for literally 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi lover. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires! So I then asked him if his psychiatrist makes him lie face down on the couch cause he's so ugly. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I insulted him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.

Knock knock. Who's there?

Howie. Howie who?

There is now research on...