be me

party is a group of wild-west era outlaws. main quest is to steal several anti-eldritch weapons from rich and powerful elf families to stop them from using eldritch abominations to start and win a second civil war for the confederacy

a friendly npc got assassinated and we were searching his house for clues

12+ wagons full of pinkertons show up outside and surround the place

we knew it was coming and prepared in advance - dynamite was rigged to the back door

about 7 sticks of it, in fact.

too bad we fucked it up and unintentionally made it on an extremely short fuse & sensitive trigger

badidea.rar

turns out that shit was way stronger than we thought

had some left over so we were chucking it out the windows

each individual stick took out 2-3 wagons by itself

predictably 1 cop tries to sneak in the back and activates the trap

"the dynamite will detonate in 1 round"

fuckingrunforit.jpeg

one of our party members escapes out the window

me and another guy book it and dive into the river behind the house to duck out of the blast

our one remaining party member had gotten KO'd during the fight and was unable to escape

dude gets caught in the explosion

thrown across the battle map

pinkerton wagons and surrounding buildings are now rubble and ashes

only thing left standing was the safehouse across the street - not even singed (place was magically warded)

DM challenges unconscious party member for his survival

contest is simple: party member and DM roll d100s

if the party member rolls higher than the DM he lives

mfw DM rolls a 1

mfw party member rolls a 100

In mythology, oracles will often make prophecies, which come true BECAUSE of someone’s efforts to make the prophecy false.

Character idea: Reverse oracle

You occasionally see potential futures, hut rather than it always coming true, you have to make it come true. If you make a vision come true, you get a large buff. If you fail, you get a mssive debuff.

Imagine this: You go to an oracle to get your future told, and the oracle tells you that your house will burn down. You rush home to try to make sure it doesn’t happen, but when you get there, the oracle is pouring gasoline around your house and lights a match. You try to kill them, but the second the house catches fire and nothing can stop the fire from destroying the house, the oracle suddenly becomes as buff as an orc bodybuilder. You try to run, and the oracle tells you in an ominous voice: “In the near future, you will die from blunt force trauma to your face.” You freeze, shocked, and the oracle starts sprinting at you at mach 2.

be me, observer of an online campaign played by friend.

be not me, the DM, a down on his luck serf, a baroness whose husband ‘mysteriously’ died, and the Lich who overlords the principality.

Serf has lived their entire life on their plot of land, hungry and emaciated. They’re so skinny other players didn’t realize they were a girl until told.

The principality only produces pieces in iron, as a way to make sure the serfs can’t accumulate wealthy and leave. A copper coin from the occasional outsider is a big fucking deal, and people can and have killed for them.

One day a planeswalker comes into town, tossing around gold like he’s Mansa Musa. Some gold ends up with serfs pals, the original other party members players.

Naturally, a fight breaks out and a near party wipe occurs when the trio decide to kill the walker. Take him down, but two players dead.

Surviving player takes their shit, and happens to be literate enough to read through his books. Most of his material is too hard to understand, but serf realizes that travel between worlds is possible, and reads of a world where steel is king amongst coins, not gold.

Serf is captured by guard and brought before the Baroness for judgement. At this point, the players decided to hop into the nearest NPC’s available and got the two most important guys available. DM allowed it because… he’s fucking crazy?

Serf pleads for their life, reveals knowledge they got from dead walker. Lich prince happens to be nearby, having come to personally collect tax from the Baroness as a power play. “I come for what’s mine personally. Don’t fuck with me, I’m a skeleton wizard.”

Lich hears whats revealed, is intrigued. Decides to give serf a chance at survival for the lols, asks them to explain why he shouldn’t kill them and make their corpse a dancing fool.

Serf knows enough about the world that iron can be turned to steel. Tells about world where steel is most valuable metal.

The three together hatch a brilliant, evil fiscal plot: they’ll take a bunch of the excess iron from their hold and convert it to steel, go to this new world, and become filthy fucking rich over there. With the new wealth, Lich can accord better weapons to conquer neighboring despot lands. (World in general is a shithole.)

Lich is able to use walkers materials to construct a portal to this world. They arrive, and are immediately accosted by random adventures, who want fame and glory for killing a lich.

After smoking their asses, party is met by goblins and dragonoids, who after getting intimidated, lead them to their boss, a general of the ‘One Gods’ army.

They agree to help finance this war in exchange for a share of captured goods.

Fellas are now aiding a dark god against the forces of good in the War of the Lance.

Evil is their business, and business is good.

Note: I need to keep track of Gia's equipment better- She is also supposed to have a medium thickness cloth skirt as another leg guard, but as it is probably awkward to mention at this point in the story, will mention it now and move on.

+++

Time Piece: 2/12. Late Morning.

Event Roll: 1d6 vs 4+, 6. Event: Piercing Wind.

Event Time: 1d6, 1. In 1 TP.

Hunger 4/8 -> 3/8

+++

Be me, Sky Gia

Reach the Lake. It's late morn by now.

It's a pretty small one, but it's still in my way. Checking the lake's sides reveals the lake is deep on both, and its right side has rapids.

Luckily...

-1 Fate = 2/3 Fate, intent: Add a minor narrative element: Bridge

...There is a small shabby bridge on the left side's river.

I give its rotten planks a small but firm poke with the butt of my axe, and although its creaky, I try to cross.

At half way point and after a lot of creaking, I hear a crackle of wood under my feet.

Swift Roll: 5d6 vs 4+ = 1, 2, 3, 4, 6 --- 1 Hit, 1 Crit = 3 Successes = Success + Complication

I quickly rush and leap to the other side, feeling a tug on my left foot, but make it there safely.

Then I note that the boot on my left leg is missing.

It is in fact currently getting carried away by the water stream.

I grumble a curse and then look around this side of the lake. I then brighten as I see a small beaten dirt path, half overgrown, leading forward, and a silhuette of what looks like a windmill in the direction where it leads' horizon.

Without a boot, and only mildly starving by now, I continue by following the path along by its side.

Grass is better to walk on than pebble filled dirt.

+++

Time Piece -> 3/12, Early Day.

South East Tile, North-Center Lake -> Center-East Tile, South-Center Plains.

Event: Piercing Wind.

+++

The wind roars, whistles and chills me to my bones. It's early day now, but the Sun up above is cold, even as it shines through the mildly cloudy sky.

I hug myself to try and stay warm. The fact one of my boots is gone doesn't help.

But I'm almost at the windmill now.

There is a field of golden wheat here, and said windmill spins enthusiastically with the high wind.

I note something is off.

There are a lot of bootprints here. Dry but recent blood leading to the mill...

...And a corpse wielding a hatchet heading my way.

My blood boils and quickens.

"UNDEAD BLIGHT!" I screech and charge with my greataxe.

Reaction Roll: Swift 5 vs 4+, 1, 3, 4, 5, 6 = Success

Sky Gia, Melee: 5d6 vs G. Axe Weapon Skill (4+), Proficient (+1 all), Reach (+2 to 1 die): 3 (+2 = 5), 2, 1, 1, 1 = 4 Misses, 1 Hit = 9 dmg (5 + 4 Might Bonus), +5 Blunt Force (3 G. Wep. + 2 Large).

Corpse, Melee: 3d6 vs Axe Weapon Skill (5+), Short (-1 to 1 die) = 1 (-2 = Miss), 1, 2 = 3 Misses.

The Axe connects with the the aberration's chest with a squelch and crack of bone, it swinging its hatchet at me in vain, me then twisting and plunging the axe out. It hits the ground with a thud after, still trying to move even as its spine no longer works.

Worn G. Axe Durability Roll, Low Good, 1d6 vs 5+: 1, Passed.

I note my rusted greataxe is covered in blood, but still has its blade attached. Good.

I then quickly stomp the body's head. It is crushed under my right boot's sole. It will rise no more.

My heart drums. Adrenaline and fury prick my mind.

A faint memory is barely out of grasp in it.

I focus. Whoever did this will have their heads put on a pike.

I take the green and brown cloth clad man's hatchet. The older blade bite across his blood soaked chest means two things.

1. He died a warrior's death, or so I hope.

2. Whoever did this were also armed with blades.

I follow the dirt road's bootprints with haste. I should find them quickly, and probably the dead man's settlement as well.

Be me

Trying to remember my name

Memory is foggy, but I still try...

WIL Roll: 4d6 vs 5+, 2 4 4 6, 2 Hits 1 Crit = 4 = Success

...I manage to retrieve some basic info from my mind.

My name is Sky Gia. Or Sky Giant, originally.

I remember it's more of a nickname. Gia because I'm...Well, big, and sky because I fell out of the sky?

I focus. There must be more to this...

WIL Roll: 4d6 vs 5+, 1 1 3 6, 1 Crit = 2 = Success + Complication

...But I remember how I got my face scar instead.

I see myself facing against a scarred brown bear armed with but a pocket knife.

My adrenaline spikes as it charges.

I fail to dodge.

The feeling of my rended neck and half-gone face lingers as I watch the tiny flames of the fireplace dance.

I'm disquieted, but I keep it together.

The storm has also seemingly subsided, and all my things are relatively dry, including the arming cap on my head. Barely noticed the thing before.

The morning sun is starting to shine mildly. It's early morn.

I pack my things. It's time to go.

I walk out with my axe in hand and helmet on my brow.

I looks around, going to the side of the building to see all directions.

Forward are some plains, a river in the distance, and a raging and colossal mist wall on their horizon.

Left are some more green, wet plains, and a mist wall there as well. Probably from where I came.

Right are some more plains, what looks like a part of the previously mentioned river, and some familiar pine trees on the horizon.

Behind the moldy building, in the distance, I can see what seems to be a lake, river flowing to and from it, one of the sides going into the mist.

I ponder the options. There is probably food in the forest, a tempting thing considering I'm half-starved, but it also holds the high probability of getting lost. The lake both is safer and probably has people or at least some sort of man made construction there.

Where there is water there is life.

Decide to go to see the lake. Best to find locals of...Wherever "here" is.

I don't look back as I leave the Moldy Building.

Minor foreword: This is a solo play I did to try and test/joyride a small ttrpg I scrambled together over the course of 3 years. With that, do enjoy the story.

+++

Be me

Be trekking through the mists

I have no idea why am doing this, or why I must do this, but I move forward

My mind is an empty keg by now. I barely feel my body.

The mists stop, and I realise I can't feel my body on account of being currently in a storm

My limbs are heavy, I can't feel my feet, I can barely see my helmet-covered nose

But I seem to have found a small building

Don't bother knocking, open the door

It smashes onto the floor with a loud thud. Lightning thunders behind me, sending my shadow onto...

...Well, no one, the place is empty, decayed, and the walls and wooden floors filled with black mold

Make my way inside. Something makes me ready my greataxe.

It's a rectangular room, a skeleton is laying against the left wall, and the right side has a passage.

I glare at the skeleton, something about it makes my rage rise, but I move to inspect the passage.

There is a ladder heading up here. Thunder roars up above again, shining light down, making me realise this is a tower, hatch open to the top.

The ladder is...Surprisingly sturdy. But like Hel am I climbing a slippery one upwards.

Some of my body sensations return. I shiver from piercing cold.

Hunger is here too. My armor feels heavy.

My armor is also rusty.

ALL of my armor. Also the greataxe.

I'm also soaked.

Sighing, I make my way back to the main chamber.

I note I have a small satchel. Also there are two weird...Cylinder things with pins tied to the front of my hair.

Something makes me look at the skeleton again. I note how small it is compared to me.

Still hate it for whatever reason. It is also wearing some rusted chainmail and a cone helm; nothing important.

It's also overgrown with black mold, now that my eyes are fine with the dark.

There is also a fireplace with a rotten round shield above it, also overgrown with mold.

...I should depart soon. At least as soon as the storm subsides.

I decide not to waste time and gather some planks for a fire. I shall check my inventory after.

I dump a bunch of the planks into the fireplace. Now let's see if I have a flint and steel...

I put the satchel on the floor, and open it.

There is a large...Revolver inside, yes, that's the name. Its heavy barrel and large grip are quite familiar. I put them in front of me.

It's rusted to hell. But good to have a powerful firearm at the ready.

A roll of clean cloth, soaked.

A small bag. Has 10 gold coins inside, one side a detailed crown and the other a sword. I don't recognize either symbol. They aren't rusted.

The helmet is starting to weigh a bit. I take it off.

Rusted...It's an open helm, having a circle opening at the eye level.

It's covered by several welded metal bars.

I look at the rest of myself.

Rusty steel forearm guards, leather boots, a rusted steel chainmail neck guard...

Aha, a flint and steel!...

...My stomach grumbles. No food.

I sigh again.

I light up the fire. It iluminates myself and the highly explosive darts tied to my long chestnut hair-

Ah. So that's what they were...

...Also, why can I feel saliva on my face?

Touch my face

The right cheek is missing. Also, I feel like I have scars.

...Guess proves my worth as a decent warrior since I'm still alive.

I look at my saliva covered hand

It's actually blood

Oh.

CoughingFit.gif

I take my hand to my neck. The mechanism is still in place beneath the stitches. I will be alive for the next while, but it needs fuel.

I spit out my blood into the fireplace.

I wonder just for how long have I been walking. My limbs are heavy, it feels like I hole in my stomach, I can't even remember my name.

I kneel by the fire.

I will find out. Guess that's my main drive.

be me
thousand year old lich
learn about spellcrafting
it's pretty simple, thank god
just need a reliable website to sell it
start crafting the spell
starts to fail multiple times
goes to check code
tfw I forgot to add material compenents
finally fix the spell
it finally works, unlife is good
post the spell on lich.io
finally.png
go sleep for 3 weeks
go online
see people complain about my spell to the point that they riot
mfw my phylactery gets doxxed and an adventuring party is sent to destroy it

be me

high CHA sorcerer

investigating mercenaries in a shady tavern

buy some of their homemade moonshine and immediately get hammered due to failed CON save

buy a whole bottle of that stuff, dirty unmarked bottle full of clear liquid

approach the mercs while drunk, just ask if there's new business in the area for people like us, I heard some rumors

it actually works, they we drink together and they tell me that the guard boss at the mine is paying very good money for shady work, probably hiring goons for the BBEG

we go to the mine

cast Prestidigitation on the moonshine to make the bottle sparkly clean, cool is down and make it taste like lemonade

disguise as mercenary and head straight to the guard boss

tell him how thankful I am for the job, I really needed the money, as thanks I got him some snacks and my favourite lemonade, super refreshing after a day of work at these temperatures

thanks to the charisma boost from being drunk he takes it and empties the whole bottle

is immediately blackout drunk

the other guards see us and are like "he's drunk AGAIN??? He promised he'd stop!"

I offer to take him home so that the mine boss doesn't see him like that

take him to my home instead, let him rest

he wakes up in my bed tied up like a shibari bunny

we successfully interrogate him to find out the location of the BBEG's hideout

mfw the other players don't want to go to the bar with me any more

• be me, sophomore year of hc
• first time GMing
• 8 freshman are put into my group (school club)
• cry
• write basic plot and watch it all crumble because freshman shenanigans
• improv knowing how to improv because I can’t keep up with game prep (I’m a procrastinator)
• fast forward to the end of the game
• players cheering and screaming at the final boss, everyone happy
• three players approach me
• all say they want me to join their own games bc I inspired them to write their own games
• cry inside
• love my adopted freshmen

IM STILL FRIENDS WITH THEM ALL YEARS LATER AND IM STILL SO PROUD OF MY CHILDREN

I'm like 99% sure I saw it on this subreddit and I remember it was a screenshot, not text.

It's not a horror story in a sense that it isn't presented as such. I think the player in question requests innocent things from the gm step by step and asks innocent questions, then there's peeing involved and then suddenly there's mustard gas.

Can't really think of anything else useful.

• Be Me, lvl 5 Artificer and make motorized captain America shield.
• Party goes to a manor go investigate a murder/kidnapping
• Find secret thing on how ruler of country was a tyrant
• 4 Cyborg break through the kitchen window.
• My turn , dash action through 2nd story window and take pot shot at One dubbed "Greenie"
• Miss, use left over movement to move right 5 ft and stay out of line of sights.
• My turn again, hop in though window prepared to get one of their attention for Hellish rebuke.
• Shot one with acid Arrow and bonus action palm pistol another one because he was weak.
• Monsters turn next, Both Greenie and doomfist turn to me
• My bad.jpg
• They drag me over to them and knock me prone.
• 18 AC so only one attack hits, 8 DMG. (25/33)
• Try and cast Ray of Sickness, DM says their immune to poison and that I can cast fire bolt for free because he's amazing. Greenie dead.
• Doomfist turn, walks over to me (I'm still prone because I forgot to get up) and proceeds to make me bite the curb. 8 or so damage (17/33)
• I tell party I'm gonna jump his ass.
• Party continues fighting. None go down.
• My turn, Start spinning shield and cut Doomfists head off.
• "I'm Mike Tyson!"
• Monster turn, "Leggy" boxes the party as "Terminator" comes to me.
• Proceeds to critical hit me and beat my 18 AC.
• MFW Terminator does 25 damage, making me unconscious.
• my last words "Mike Tyson lost once aswell."

Party goes wild, "It's the hammer" Muscle Man meme is now staple of my character.

Does anyone have this one? Thank you!!

be me, GM w/ 7 years of experience

be not me, druid eladrin, dragon born sorcerer, and half orc paladin

been spending the last few sessions in the underdark

Drow racism.mov

Tons of lore-accurate Lolth world building

one day forget to write session notes.

party is infiltrating a church of Lolth to find evidence of corruption.

in catacombs, making shit up on the fly.

mention an ornate sarcophagus for aesthetic purposes

they investigate it.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

make up BS about a “dead son of Lolth” waiting to return.

honestly kinda cash.

the party eats it up.

phew.relief

after session look up lore on supposed “dead son” just for shiggles

find an article about [Vhaeraun, son of Araushnee/Corellon]

ayo?

TLDR; tfw I became a psychic and inserted accurate lore into my campaign without actually knowing.

We had an amazing session yesterday, a chase sequence battle that took a bunch of fun turns and the dramatic end of a character arc that actually only took a few sessions.

Players:

Galrik, Dwarf Cleric of Torm, suffers from hallucinations due to a head injury from years past

Estissos, Human Thief, mostly out for himself and has a bad habit of randomly attacking people sometimes, first mate to Sinbad

Sinbad, Orc Swashbuckler, a pirate captain that journeys for treasure and glory

NPCs of note:

Archmage Venefica von Syreni, leader of the mages association and the authority on all arcane magic in the kingdom. Kind of the BBEG but since its a sandbox evil campaign she's relatively good, lawful evil only by technicality

Duke Miles Montis, the leader of the military and duke of mons, recently arrested Sinbad and Estissos with the aid of Galrik's betrayal

Sir William the Resilient (Billy): the original owner of the armor relic and a 268 year old knight of the kingdom. Teamed up with Galrik to capture the pirate crew

Joblin: a silent warlock with a debt based spellcasting system, responds to any order as given with no further thought, otherwise sits and stares into space, a member of the crew

Baddog: a chaotic evil murderous gnoll wearing a cursed dog collar that prevents him from attacking any creature that is not already considered hostile towards him, a member of the crew

Koby: a kobold with an obsession with explosives and fire, the crew's cannoneer

background info: the game was pitched as an "sandbox evil campaign" at high level (13) and is centered around the hunt for 6 relics, there's the book, staff, crown, armor, boots, and ring. all of the relics are legendary magic items that are kept under strict guard and ceremony by different kingdom agencies, thus it is a crime to steal them. when all are brought together in the Throne Tower, ancient tower of the old elf king it will grant a wish to the one sitting in the throne. The party acquired the armor and crown already.

on their way back they got temporarily caught by the Duke of Mons and escaped on his ship, Galrik stayed behind "as a distraction" and made a deal to betray and ambush the party, he got Sir William on board with the plan and the ambushed succeeded perfectly with almost everyone just surrendering (made for a bit of a wasted encounter tbh). The duke recovered the crown from Sinbad and Galrik wore the armor after convincing Estissos to give it up back on the ship and so the relics were recovered and the pirates were imprisoned

The session:

Estissos and Sinbad slept in their cell, getting curious Sinbad opened the door at the side of their cell to find a Bandit Captain. The cell had clearly once been a storage area and converted into a jail. The Bandit let Sinbad in on his escape plan in return for being his underling, Bandit Cap annoyed Sinbad into it with intentional yawning and referring to his "failures of leadership". Bandit took Sinbad's hat and placed it under his own, he then called out to Estissos as "underling", Estissos stoically remained asleep.

Galrik had tea with the Duke, William and the Royal Assassin. Her Ladyship, Archmage Venefica von Syreni had arrived and sent a nervous young apprentice ahead to let them know. When she entered she grabbed Galrik and downed her tea in a single gulp, not staying for any of the typical noble mannerisms and irritating the Duke who knew things would be this way but hated it anyway. She brought him back to her workshop where she ran several tests on his perception, removing his sight and hearing, and fooling his perceptions. She narrowed her options down to two. The first was an upcasted to 9th level Regeneration, which did repair every issue in his body but did not remove the hallucinations as his brain had healed after the initial infection, it simply healed into a position which caused the hallucinations and so with further healing no longer an option, Venefica came up with a stop gap measure instead, though it would be quite expensive for her and so she made a deal with Galrik, she would give him his cure if he gave up the armor at the Thone Tower. Galrik saw a childish passion for power in her that may prove dangerous but saw that she was not lying and so accepted her deal.

In the jail the signal was given, an explosion down the hall. Bandit began his preparations while Sinbad listened in on the guards and Estissos slept. The guards reveal the attempt failed and the bandit captain's man had blown himself to bits. Bandit made the decision to "stow away" the bomb for later.

The inmates were being transported to the Servitus Mines to work off their debts to society. They were separated into two carts, the first held Estissos, Bandit Captain, Sinbad, and Thug, the second held Joblin, Baddog, Koby, and Bandit.

Thug didn't like authority, he especially hated hats, hats were symbols of authority and he felt it necessary to cut off the heads wearing them. Sinbad baited him into a fight which got the Knight nearby close enough to rip the sword out of his hand. The surrounding cavalry scouts road up along side the cart and threatened to fire as Sinbad broke Thug's chains. Thug leapt out at the other knight and forced him offroad, one of the scouts followed after as Sinbad freed himself

The scouts fired, many missing due to the driving speed and the targets taking cover behind the cart's plank walls, some even sustained crossfire. Sinbad got the blade stuck and Estissos tried and failed to hit the driver with it as the scouts fired again. Sinbad grabbed the sword and freed the Bandit Captain who knocked the driver off the cart and slashed away Estissos' chains. Estissos took the sword from the Bandit Captain and attacked him leaving a massive gash in his shoulder, he then threw the sword into a scout who fired back aiming despite his eyes filling with blood.

Sinbad called out to Joblin to escape with the rest of the crew as he picked up rocks along the road to throw at the scouts, Joblin silently misty stepped out of his chains and dimension doored away with Baddog, Koby and one of the Bandits, to where they do not know.

Sinbad flipped onto a scouts horse, stole his blade and killed him with it, failing to handle the horses at all but still able to ride it he continued jumping from horse to horse killing the scouts.

Estissos followed suit and took control of a warhorse, riding it out front and rearing it up he managed to get the horse to kick a scout in the face and miraculously both the horse and Estissos managed to roll out of the way, Estissos caught onto the front cart and pulled himself to safety as the horse ran into the wilderness. Bandit Captain was ripped away from driving by the Knight but managed to catch Sinbad's hand and land safely on the back cart. Sinbad continued to jump from horse to horse killing the Knight, all while Estissos took control of the front cart once more and rammed one of the scouts into a wall. The last scout saw the grim deaths of his comrades and looked into the predatory glare of Estissos before riding for Mons at full speed abandoning the now free prisoners.

Galrik and Venefica made their way to the Throne Tower by way of teleportation circle back to mons and flying carpet for the remainder of the journey. In Mons they heard of the escape and Venefica decided it wasn't worth dealing with right now as they no longer posed an existential threat and merely a nuisance well within Duke Montis' abilities to handler, though she advised the Royal Assassin to stay. She used potions on the flying carpet as well as her own magic to increase its speed by magnitudes. The vast mountain range gave way to a barren landscape, at the center of which lay a single section of green, a labyrinth of plants, all alive, sentient, sapient, and most of all connected. The green spilled from the tower at its center. Upon arrival she set down outside the labyrinth, explaining that to fly in is futile. She readied herself as though she were planning to go to war against the gods themselves, Galrik watched on and felt no fear for her. Within the labyrinth Galrik was untouched by the plants, they let him through and guided him to the center, Venefica on the other hand was fighting them off the entire way, exhausting much of her magic. Venefica admits she could have brought the Staff to make this journey easier but never did mention why she doesn't do so.

At the Throne Tower Galrik saw the hazy visage of the old elf king, adorned in all his regalia and fineries, but only a shadow of them. The armor urged him to kneel before his king and Galrik did so at Venefica's agreement. Galrik asked her what she would wish for and she chose to answer, though she admitted it was childish, what she wanted was power and the knowledge came with it, she would wish to learn the spell the throne cast to grant her wish in order to gain an infinite supply of wishes. She then went on to say that there are countless reasons not to do so however, not the least of which being the law placed by the King Reginald I specifically forbidding anyone from attempting to harness the power of the wish. Galrik offered up the armor, thankful for her honesty and received in return an Eye of True Sight. Galrik and Venefica once outside the labyrinth, which let them pass freely as they left, teleported to Meridion for the surgery.

Once completed Galrik found his hallucinations appeared hazy and transparent in that eye if they appeared at all, while he would still have his visions, no longer would he have doubts about their reality. Venefica offered to pay him a retainer and offered him a job with the mage's association as a freelance contractor working directly under her.

Next session is definitely going to start with that Bandit Captain (yet unnamed) stabbing Estissos in return for that random swipe with the greatsword, Galriks player is going to a new character so that'll be fun but all in all this was just an epic session with a lot of fun moments, I've been wanting to do a moving platform fight for a long time too

Be me, DM for short demo-game of a new system I found.

Be not me, random dude trying to buy milk at the store, and his two buddies who came with for no particular reason.

Dude grabs bottle of milk, realizes he’s got no money. This cannot stand.

Dude demands a random passerby give him a couple dollars. Rolls a 3 on D6, guy gives dude a few bucks out of pity.

Second player decides to start a scene for shits, asks if he’s just gonna let someone walk over him and demand money.

Now he’s going on about the proletariat, and how ‘the man’s’ pushing everyone down. Entire store goes up in arms, rushes the streets in protest.

Milk bottle is knocked from dudes hand, shatters on floor. Meanwhile, a Soviet revolution is occurring in the streets.

Revolutionary: “Hey man, no point crying over spilt milk.”

I read about this story sometime ago about a paladin who had a wizard friend who ascended to godhood. The paladin then 'worshipped' him by simply thinking of him as his bond to the god was already so strong.

be my character

a dark elf

everything i know and love is dying

see a family friend of mine

they tell me to come with them to safety

i comply

they tell me to close my eyes

i comply

they pull out a knife and cut off my face

i collapse on the spot

20000+ years later

be me laying on the floor of a forest

have a wooden mask

don't remember anything that happened that day

walk around for a bit

discover a city that definitely wasn't there before

nobody's like me

become homeless

the next day

find a poster for odd jobs

decide to apply

Be group, playing 5e sci-fi game.

Be me, a space cowboy.

Other player is a robot.

I'm making small talk in character.

"Say robot, how do you determine people's names? Will you just call 'em any old thing they tell you to?"

I am not sure I understand your query.

"Well like, if someone told you to call them Dick Fuckpiss, or something else ridiculous, would you have to listen to them?"

Registering name: Dick Fuckpiss. It is a pleasure to meet you, Dick Fuckpiss.

"Yeah, ok. I reckon I deserved that one."

DM: The path goes through a dark forest...

Elf wizard: I have darkvision.

Dwarf paladin: I also have darkvision.

Human fighter: I don't.

Elf wizard: Do you have something you can hold that you want to shine light?

Human fighter: I don't know about you, but we humans have this technology called a "torch".

Elf wizard: Ok, can I have your torch for a moment? Casts light cantrip on it There you go.

In a recent game with one of my groups, we went to a temple that had a stone plate with a water symbol embedded in the floor. The room also had skeletons we interrogated, and barrels leaking flammable acidic slime that our cleric lit because we had figured out that heat would affect it.

Our DM has us roll Con saves for the smell. Everyone fails except for the cleric, so the DM describes that 3 of us start throwing up. I immediately go "I throw up on the stone plate." A fellow player having the same idea goes "Yeah, me too."

Our DM's face lights up, he seems delighted and baffled at the same time "You do?" He starts describing how the vomit and fluid goes into the crevices of the circle, and the plates start moving apart, revealing a secret entry. No riddle solving or thinking necessary.

Does anybody have that story of when a party put a single coin a day into a bag of holding with fireball cast on it and at the BBEG turned the bag inside out, which prompted a bucket full of d6 to be dumped out?

Be Anarion, a level 4 neutral evil warlock that just picked up observant.

Have a party member named Sa, he's also somewhat evil and was previously an abused slave. You both were in the same (criminal) organization for some time before adventuring.

We meet another adventuring party that's part of a really powerful guild. Sa moves away from our party with a tiefling from the other party.

DM roleplays this interaction in between sessions since none of us intervened.

Beginning of next session I tell the DM that I have observant and want to read their lips l if possible.

Mfw the tiefling is Sa's brother who sold him into slavery and condemned him to a lifetime of abuse and ptsd, Sa had his eye scooped out during his time as a slave.

The whole conversation was basically the tiefling trash talking Sa and saying that he'll sell him again when he gains more power from adventuring so he's worth more.

There's not enough room for two evil individuals in Sa's circle and that spot is mine.

I start small talk with the tiefling's party. Introduce myself and ask for their names, I state that I already know the tiefling and drop his name (I've never seen him before, just learnt his name from reading lips).

Ohyouknowhim.jpg

I tell them it's heart warming to see adventurers accept people such as him into their group, everyone deserves a second chance. They ask me what I mean.

I tell them that he's probably changed and there's no reason to bring up things from the past, especially if he hasn't told his own party.

The tiefling's party gets nervous, keeps asking me what I mean.

I tell them that I've seen the tiefling actively participating in slave trading of the worst type.

They are shocked as I succeeded every single deception check.

I tell them that I won't say anything else since that's something they need to discuss as a party, they agree and leave.

Mfw two high ranking law enforcement officers are looking for us. I think they found out about my (criminal) organization past.

They want our party to follow them through the woods. Got no choice.

We reach a clearing and see the tiefling's party waiting for us with their guild's vice leader.

Mfw the tiefling is beaten and tied up in the middle of everyone. They ask me to identify him, I do.

They beat him up some more and give him to the law enforcers, they gift us his magic items, ban him from the guild and give us access to the guild's shop.

We learn that the tiefling tried to persuade his party into setting up an ambush and beat us up. He tried to lie through his teeth about us but he failed all deception rolls since I had increased the DC before hand with my lies.

Happytohelp.jpg

The tiefling goes to trial, is found guilty and thrown in the dungeons.

Sa is happy with the results, I am happy I fucked someone's life up.

I've been looking for a story a about a Gravedigger Player Character who spends every session digging and filling a bag of holding (that can only hold dirt). Eventually when the party gets to the BBEG the Gravedigger simply says "I will bury you..." and unloads the entire bag of dirt at once, burying the BBEG, party and the entire castle in a mountain of dirt that instantly kills everyone and ends the campaign.
I know for certain I've seen this exact story before, because its just too bizarre to make up and the phrase "I will bury you..." has been lodged into my brain ever since I read it. Despite my attempts though I've been completely unable to find it- if anyone has it, it would be greatly appreciated.

Be Anarion, a neutral evil genie warlock.

Mfw my genie is imprisoned in a ring by the demi god of fire and most of her power is stolen.

I love my genie (maybe a bit too much) and will do anything to free her.

Another party member named Sa becomes best friends with an NPC, the NPC is a cleric of Eros, the goddess of darkness.

He also begins supporting the goddess.

Another member, named Nox joins us at level 5. He's from the Shadowfell, Eros' Domain.

Mfw when we randomly get attacked by some evil shadowfell guys and barely survive.

Turns out Nox stole an item from the BBEG of shadowfell, an item that can kill Eros.

Sa berates Nox for not telling us and thinks of giving the item to the BBEG so we're safe.

Mfw I realize this item can kill Eros... a goddess, maybe it can kill other gods... or demi gods...

Refuse to give back the item. We decide to counter attack as soon as possible to try and take them by surprise.

Persuade Sa and Nox to keep the item safe inside my ring. Sa tells me to not give it to the enemy even if things turn deadly. I may have fleed from a previous combat encounter and left the party behind... oops

DM rolls a 97 out of 100 on a roll to determine what kind of info we get from our sources. We learn where the BBEG's Boss is.

We roll up to his crib and kill him since he's weakened because he was recently resurrected.

I choose to loot his crib.

Mfw I randomly pick the correct window and succeed on a 5% chance roll on a d100.

Turns out this crib is someone else's. I meet an incredible powerful mage.

Ask to use his library, I'm secretly looking for info on how to use this item to kill a demi god.

He decides to start small talk with me, DM takes me to a private channel.

Mfw I roll a nat 20 on insight.

Mfw he hates Eros because he's basically the Invoker from DOTA, but I can choose to not help him and he won't hurt me or steal the item from me.

We sign an unbreakable vow, like Harry Potter.

I give him the god killing item. He uses it to kill Eros and then discards the godlike power from his body.

The vow specified that he has to find info on how we can kill the demi god and he must help me in the final fight against him.

I request a fake replica of the item to have the option to lie to everyone about using it.

Both the original item and the replica are identifyproof. However a powerful enough mage could tell this is a mere fake.

Party doesn't know any of this. I'm not sure what effect Eros' death will have on the world.

Next session is either confession time or my gaslighting era.

Friend has acrobat feat.

Tries to do a backflip in town to impress a lady.

Rolls a Nat 1.

"You get a weird bounce as you tried to jump and end up going much more horizontal than you intended.

You smash into a nearby man standing near a railing and push him over. You look over and see the man is clearly dead."

Friends face: 😬😬

"As you stand there looking down, a nearby group of slaves rush over to the corpse and strip it of his weapons.

Apparently the man was an unpopular slave Overseer.

You see the slaves hunt down and execute another Overseer.

The town has a full blown slave revolt. By morning, not a single person is still in chains.

Nice backflip man! 👍